The Fall And Rise Of Sasha free porn video

The Fall and Rise of Sasha By Amanda Moore Two years ago I was just a normal straight guy. Late 20s, 5'9" tall, slim, not very athletic and averagely attractive. I was single but had my fair share of girlfriends, though nothing serious ever came of my relationships and only two of my ex-girlfriends had been my lovers, still never had I ever thought of having any form of sexual contact with another man. Now the only girl in my life is Sasha, the girl I, Josh, create from inside me. In fact I think of myself not as Josh but as Sasha and Sasha as a girl is mainly heterosexual which means I have boyfriends now not girlfriends. Men clearly think I am an accomplished lover, I like to give myself to them and my well stretched, fisted anus is as capable, pliable, useable and experienced at taking cock as most pussies. I love cock and my anus is my badge of accomplishment. I love that it gapes and through use has developed swollen lips around the hole. I am no longer the fucker but the fuckee and tonight I am preparing for my latest lover Matt who is going to take me dogging again. He had only introduced me to it a month previously, on the night we first met, but already I was hooked on the meaningless casual sex and the thrill of being openly observed by other people as I exposed both my transvestite's body and slutty nature to lusty strangers. I met Matt through an internet dating site that catered for transgendered people. He was a tv admirer who lived in a town about 15 miles distant from me. Describing himself as late 30s, balding, well built and 6'1" tall I contacted him and asked him for a photo. He looked okay when he replied so I arranged a meeting. I am always wary of inviting people to my house when I first contact them and he shared a house with his brother, so we arranged to meet one evening at a local picnic spot. Matt had already told me that he did not want to take me out for a drink or a romantic evening he just wanted to fuck me. He also told me he wanted to show me off and slut me out to other men. This kind of frank, brutal bluntness excited me which was why I agreed to meet where I did. Perhaps you can tell I am not a shy, retiring kind of pretend girl but a full on loud and proud transvestite tart. It excited me to dress for Matt as cheaply and sexily as possible as that is what he asked for. I had added a hair piece to my long straightish bleached blonde hair. This allowed me to pile it up slightly in a kind of early 60s style. I lathered on the make up to give myself heavily kohled eyes and deep red moist and plump lips. The make up was heavy but expertly applied as I had been trained well and had lots of practice. Did I make a convincing girl well not a 100% but I was undoubtedly a hot, sexy and ultra feminine transvestite. Oh yes I know what I am, a male who dresses as a slutty female in part to attract other men so I can have wild sex with them. I am a feminised total faggot, an out gay transvestite, who likes nothing better than pleasing men who adore tarty, ultra fem sheboy bottoms. I am a boy toy and cum dump for any man who likes slutty girls with male bits between their legs and I love everything about being this person. My journey happened in stages from straight vanilla guy to what others might regard as a sissy gay guy but what my boyfriend sees as a feminine nympho slut, albeit one with a dick. I don't care what others think, I like who I am. I may be a fairy faggot and a slut but I love my life as a feminised boy toy. I love the change that has taken me far away from the boring conventionalism of masculine heterosexuality. It began when I met Helen. She was older than me, early 40s, and a powerful woman both in personality and physically. Buxom and well built she was nevertheless very fit as she was a part-time dance teacher and aerobics instructor. Divorced she wanted only temporary relationships with younger men. We met at a party and I was drawn to her strength and assertiveness. She claimed she liked my laid-back nature and willingness to please her. At the time though somewhat weedy I was clearly unfit and had a little paunch developing. Helen quickly got me fit through dance and better diet. She wanted me to stay lithe so the exercises she devised for me were calculated to make me fitter and leaner without building muscle and increasing strength. After a couple of months, when I weighed only 141 lbs a whole 15lbs lighter than her, she confided in me that she preferred smooth men and that as I was toning up I would look good if I had my relatively sparse body and leg hair removed. She convinced me to go for regular waxing, to have both ears pierced and a small flying bird tattoo on my left shoulder. By this time our relationship had developed to a point where she clearly took the lead. Helen was undeniably the dominant partner and I was enjoying a more passive and slightly subservient role. It felt good to have someone else make decisions for me and I even enjoyed the feeling of her being physically stronger than me. One Sunday morning, after we had been together for about five months, as I returned naked from having a shower Helen looked at me appraisingly and smiling her dazzlingly attractive smile said, "You know honey with your delicate bone structure, thin body and smooth skin you look almost feminine." I laughed and said, "Sure accept my face." Her reply surprised me. "Oh I don't know your nose is smallish, not too broad and quite cute, your lips are well shaped and full and your cheek bones high. Your chin is not large though a little square, but with make up your face would be transformed not only into a girl's face but into a pretty one too." "Mmm whatever." "Really I mean it honey. I think you would look cute." "Yeah right and what about my hair, lack of boobs, facial fuzz etc." "Oh come on Josh, a close shave, a different hairstyle and a push up bra with gel inserts will address all that. You know the more I think about it the more I want to transform you. Go on let me please it will be fun." I was not excited by the thought but I was not bothered by it either and as we had a free day and I did find it difficult to resist or deny Helen I agreed. Clapping her hands in glee she told me to give my self the closest shave I had ever had. Afterwards sat at her vanity she began by tidying up my eyebrows. She explained that she was only thinning them to an acceptable female shape but one that would be okay for male mode too. Helen did not have a wig, but as my hair was shoulder length she felt she could cut and style it into a gamine female style that with hair gel could be made into a rakishly fashionable male style for work on Monday. She worked on me for about an hour and a half before letting me look in the mirror. The transformation was startling. Gone was the averagely attractive slightly wimpy guy's face and in its place was a well made up attractive woman's face of about 30. The face was framed by my light brown hair cut and teased into an undeniably feminine style. Cut around my ears it was long on the neck and feathered with longer strands in front of my ears and a spiky fringe across my forehead. "Wow that is amazing," was all I could say. "See I told you sweetie that you would make a hot chick." I was not so sure about that but I was certainly impressed and more than willing to explore Helen's game further. She had very few items of clothing that would fit me, being shorter but better built and having a well built woman's figure rather than a weedy boys. So she took my measurements whilst I was naked and they turned out to be a pathetic 36" chest, 29" waist and 34" hips. Then she put me into a long satin purple nightie that was too small for her and that came with a matching negligee and told me to sit tight whilst she went shopping for a couple of hours. Before she left she painted my finger and toenails with a plum nail varnish and spritzed me with Extravagance perfume. Left to my own devices for a couple of hours I wandered around the house. I marvelled at my new facial look, the sudden prettiness of my hands and feet with their varnished nails and the glorious feeling of satin on my hairless body. Two things began to happen to me simultaneously. Firstly, I felt a growing feeling of what I can only describe as girlishness descending over me, I wanted to move, sit and behave in a girly way. I practiced these movements and also speaking and giggling in a feminine manner. The second thing that happened was that I felt incredibly sexually stimulated so that all my girlishness was somewhat spoiled by the 6" boner that tented the front of the nightie. My excitement was enhanced by the feeling of the satin swishing across the tip of my penis. These two happenings together overwhelmed me as I had never felt so incredible in all my life. Before Helen's return I sensed I was already hooked on dressing as a girl and trying to act as one. I sensed other even stronger compulsions brewing under the surface but I did not understand them yet. Eventually as I kept gazing in the mirror at my feminized reflection and experiencing the glorious sensual feeling of the satin, I found my hand gripping my appendage through the nightie and I began to masturbate in front of the wardrobe mirror. I became lost in the erotic sensations and the new feminine feelings to such an extent that I did not hear Helen return and I was close to climax when she walked in on me. Embarrassed I tried to cover up. "Don't worry honey I think you look sexy and by the state of your arousal so do you," Helen said. "Go on sweetheart finish yourself off I want to see you cum. But don't get it on your pretty nightie catch it in your hand." "What?" "You heard me now do it, blow your load for me." I continued to stroke my cock, bending my legs and arching my back as I neared orgasm again. Helen urged me on asking me if I was imagining the penis in my hand was another guys. No I told her but then she argued that it must be as pretty girls don't have cocks. She came up behind me and fondled my buttocks and back through the satin of the nightie all the time asking if I was a pretty girl. Finally I said yes. Then she asked if I was a pretty girl bringing a guy off and was his cock going to spout cummies for me. As she said this so her hand disappeared up the back of my nightie and a fingernail touched my anal rosebud. As she did this I finally came spurting into my hand gasping "yes" as I did so. "Yes what honey?" she asked. "Yes you are a pretty girl bringing off a guy with her pretty hand?" "Yes," I replied. "I thought so. Well you better eat your man's seed cos that's what girls do for their men." "No I can't," I panted. "Yes you can and you will," Helen sternly demanded. "What your jiz is good enough for me but not you is that it?" "No of course not." "Well I have swallowed plenty of the stuff so it's about time you did too or we can forget this dressing up game right now." I had just had the best orgasm of my life so I was in no position to argue. Also I could not stand the threat of an end to the dressing so soon. I was having too much fun to stop and the thought of eating my own cum had a perverse thrill for me even though I was a bit grossed out by it. I licked the large gob of jiz off my hand and swallowed quickly before I could taste it properly. It was warm and gloopy but if I did not think what it was it was okay. Then Helen told me to lick off all of it from my hand. Now I could not avoid tasting it and it was a little salty and musty but not too bad. Not only did I find I could eat it without feeling sick I found that the thought of what I was doing continued to turn me on. Helen was delighted in my performance and kissed me long and deeply trying to capture some of the taste. "Well so my little girl has had her first taste of cum, what didya think." "It was okay." "Well it wont be your last if you want to keep playing these games. Do you?" "Yes, I think so." "Right well if you are gonna dress like a girl we better give you a girl's name. Any preferences?" "No you choose. After all you kinda created me," I laughed nervously. What was I doing and where was this going. I only knew I felt more excited than at anytime in my life. Helen studied me closely. "Sasha that is what we will call you, Sasha." I liked the name and being given a girl's name increased the buzzy feeling I felt inside. Happy with my acceptance of this new role, Helen began to treat me like her rather simple kid sister as she went through the items she had bought for me. Firstly she showed me the small silicon boobs she had got which she said would be fixed to my chest with surgical glue. She explained that small would suit my frame but that my cleavage would be increased by the push up and silicone filled bras she had bought. She also laid out five pairs of panties, tights, including a footless semi-opaque pair, and hold up stockings. The panties included two pairs that were reinforced and padded and especially intended to give cross dressers a better shape. The rest of the bags contained items mainly from cheap fashion stores or Charity shops and with the exception of one short dress and some cardigans, consisted largely of little tops, and short skirts. It was all very feminine and revealing. There were also two jackets, a short brown suede jacket with large gold buttons and a fake leather black coat that would come to just above the knee. It was not fashionable but I thought it looked a bit French and very sexy. Finally, Helen told me there was a shoe sale on and there were a number of pairs of size 8's on offer so she bought me some. The footwear consisted of a low heeled pair of round toe black slipper like shoes with beaded decoration, a closed toe 4"high stack heeled mid brown shoe with a t-bar, a 3" high stiletto heeled open toed, shiny red strappy sandal with an ankle strap and a tight 4" high stiletto heeled, tight fitting, black knee boot. "I didn't get any jewellery cos I have loads of old stuff you can have and tons of make up I can pass on to you that will do until we go to a beauticians," explained Helen excitedly. "Whoa, I thought this was only for the day and no way am I going to a beauticians." Speaking to me as if I was a child and a not very bright one, Helen pointed out that I was clearly enjoying doing this and that I would obviously want to do it more, which I reluctantly conceded was probably true. She reminded me that she was bisexual and that she had decided that her boyfriend was going to be her girlfriend for a while. She believed I would enjoy it and if I cared for her at all I would agree to do it. I felt compelled to agree. She knew I was excited both by what we were doing and the slight element of coercion. It was all part of her gentle domination of me. Helen explained that she wanted me to spend the rest of the day with her en femme. That Sunday I tried on all the clothes she had bought for me and she instructed me in make up and how to more convincingly do a feminine voice. I hugely enjoyed the experience it was both fun and sexy. Every night for the following two weeks, as well as for the whole of the following weekend she insisted I dressed as a girl. I even feigned illness for three days while she took some owed time in lieu to speed up my progress. She only ever called me Sasha. We did not go anywhere and stayed in so I could perfect my new persona. I practiced my voice, make up and accessorizing clothes and developing a fashionable but distinctive style. I was instructed in how to move, use my hands, sit, get out of cars, bend down all in an ultra feminine manner. Helen made me practice walking in heels with a girly swish until I was not only perfectly competent in 4" high stilettos but had a natural sexy sway to my hips and bum. She taught me how to listen more in conversation, how to make direct but not challenging eye contact and how to use my hands expressively including the use of touch to emphasise points. She pushed me hard until I was often very tired and had sore feet, but I did not complain. I liked being told what to do, I liked being forced to dress as a girl, in fact I increasingly just enjoyed dressing as a girl without the domination. Throughout this period Helen kept me on a strict diet and made me exercise through dance regularly which also improved my deportment and elegance. My weight dropped to 135lbs and my waist shrank to 28." For relaxation I was made to read women's magazines, girly romances and look at female porn. Sex was frequent and fun but totally controlled by Helen. I was introduced to anal play with butt plugs, dildos and vibrators. I was denied penetration of Helen, though I did use toys on her and was often asked to orally stimulate her. My own orgasms were secondary to her pleasure and focused entirely on association with anal stimulation, the stimuli provided by silk and satin fabrics and my own self-generated excitement at my feminised image. On the Saturday two weeks after my feminisation began, as I sat at the breakfast table in a red silk short nightie and matching wrap, Helen informed me that we were going out and that she had booked me into the beauticians. At first I tried to argue but she told me to shut up and do what I was told "Remember the rules honey, you either show cleavage or lots of leg but never both unless you are a complete slapper. And since you don't have tits I think you should show lots of leg. And you do have great legs," Helen said to me as she ushered me upstairs to get ready. After a shower and ensuring I was perfectly smooth and hairless, I put on pretty pink matching bra and panties. The former filled out with small silicone inserts. I put on a pair of very fine 10 denier nearly nude coloured tights over which I wore a short skirt in a pink and white plaid pattern. A dusky pink angora short sleeved cardigan with fake pearl buttons completed my outer clothes. Around my neck was a string of white beads which progressively increased to the biggest size bead which nestled above my little cleavage. On my wrist I wore an old silver charm bracelet of Helen's for which she had provided some new extra charms, a pair of handcuffs, a lipstick and a ballerina. All appropriate to my new role she claimed. My fingers were bedecked with silver rings, mostly small and delicate but one on the central finger of my right hand larger with a large pearlescent stone. I had discovered I loved rings and was more than happy to wear more than was strictly normal. In my ears were some pearl studs in the rear holes and large silver hoops in the front piercings. My make up I did lightly, a smooth and light base foundation, a touch of blush, a light pink eyeshadow with the lid highlighted in silver and the lips made moist with a natural pink shiny lip gloss. On my feet I decided to wear my pair of 4"high stack heeled mid brown shoes with t-bars. The look was young, preppy and cute and I knew that so long as I was confident and acted feminine I would pass okay. After publicly parading me through the shopping mall Helen took me to Amanda's her beauticians. Amanda was a short plump red headed woman in her late 30s with a chubby but pretty and expertly made up face. Amanda and Helen kissed on the lips. "So this is your new prot?g?," she said indicating me. "Yep, meet Sasha," Amanda hugged me, "well sweetie you look very girly, quite pretty and almost passable but we can make you stunning." To my surprise I felt a thrill of anticipation at the prospect. I was worked over for three hours. Acrylic nails were added to mine giving me undeniably feminine nails that even clear varnished for the week, as Amanda suggested, were still going to be noticeable to my work mates. My hairstyle was spruced in a way that made it all but impossible to pass off as a funky male style and it was dyed strawberry blond. My eyebrows were worked on but could no longer be considered as just being tidied up but were formed into obvious, fairly thin feminine arches. Before my make over I had all make up removed and looking back at me from the mirror was the most effeminate looking male I had ever seen. After the expert make over, however, it was the face of a highly attractive woman who had just a hint of masculinity about her features. I could not help myself, I loved the image and I knew I was going to love becoming this new feminine person. When we walked back from the beauticians, with my bag of make up hand picked as best suited to my complexion, I walked with my head up unafraid to be seen, making Helen smile with joy at me. Over the next few months Helen introduced increasingly extreme elements into my enforced feminisation and domination. As she quickly realised that I was more than willing to at first dress as a girl at home and then appear and act like a girl in public, new elements had to be introduced to humiliate me and make me accept things against my will. She made me undergo laser depilation and electrolysis to remove my slight beard, chest and stomach hair. This was torture and I hated it but I did begin to appreciate the smoothness after a couple of months, though the regular visits for hair removal I initially found humiliating. The effects on my body hair were accentuated by taking female hormones and testosterone blockers which I did at a full dosage for a sex change for four months but afterwards at a lower level which maintained the changes to my skin, hair and fat distribution but without threatening my ability to have erections or lead to me fully growing boobs, though my nipples increased in size and I developed a little breast tissue. This scared me a lot at first as I thought I would be chemically castrated. I visited Amanda's weekly for waxing, pedicures, manicures, nail extensions and eyebrow shaping. After three visits eyelash extensions were added so that in public I had noticeably long and feminine eyelashes. At work from the very beginning of my feminisation I was made to wear panties and gradually over a few months replaced my male outer wear with female equivalents. Helen also insisted on behavioural modification. Once I had perfected my female voice she insisted I used it all the time with her. She wanted me to use it in work too but I resisted. Yet persistent use of my female voice gradually made it the natural way to speak I found I increasingly lapsed into it in work so that I gave in eventually. My new way of speaking was not commented on by my colleagues presumably because it suited the way I looked and acted. Helen forced me to walk and move in the most extravagantly female way so that a feminine way of moving also became natural. I was chastised if I was ever heavy or manly or even insufficiently swishy. My hand movements and ass sway became womanly when dressed as a girl and extremely camp when I was not. All the time she encouraged me to participate in girly activities including ogling and appreciating men. At first I hated it and then I became embarrassed by being able sometimes to see the attraction of some guys. Perhaps it was being surrounded by femininity or the conditioning Helen subjected me to but I even felt a little tingle for a few male images. After five months of feminisation as I lay beneath her licking her quim she announced that she wanted to see me fucked by a guy to confirm that I was truly her little sissy. I pulled away from her and screamed no way that no matter what had happened between us I was not a fag. She slapped me hard across the face telling me never to scream at her again, but I did and she slapped me again. Overpowering me she placed me across her lap and spanked me so hard I began to cry. What a sissy I had become powerless against my girlfriend. She told me to stop struggling and calm down and she would stop spanking me. When I had she asked me to do this for her as she would find it a huge turn on. Again I said no, that I would do most things for her but not this. She continued to cajole me, beg me and then threaten me. Finally she screamed, "right get out. If you can't be my sissy properly I am not interested in you, so you can fuck off." I did not think she was serious but when her temper mounted further and she began throwing my clothes in a suitcase I was convinced she was. Cold fear gripped my guts. After all I had gone through. All the changes I was still experiencing how could I be rejected to face the world on my own as a heterosexual but now exceedingly effeminate boy. Suddenly I realised I could not go backwards to who I had been I had to go on. I could not loose Helen so I reluctantly agreed to have my last vestige of masculinity corrupted if not driven from me. I convinced myself my decision was the best of two unpalatable choices but deep down I knew I had a spark of interest and excitement about Helen's desire and I desperately wanted to know more. Helen made all the arrangements. She took special sexy pictures of me and placed them on the internet. In them I looked as good as most professional tv escorts and as I was advertising myself for free there were soon many takers. Helen weeded out the obvious time wasters and freaks and reduced the list to five who she emailed. She forced me to comment on each one and say which one I preferred and why. The five emailed resulted in webcam conversations with four of them. Phone numbers were exchanged with three of them and meetings arranged where we met for a drink at our favourite club, which though a straight place was tranny accepting. I had very little involvement in the meeting with Helen doing most of the talking. All the guys wanted to participate with me in scenarios where I dressed up as their fantasy, little girl, school girl, hooker, mistress, bridesmaid or sexy secretary. One guy to my knowledge was selected by Helen, though unknown to me she had arranged for the other two to meet with me at separate times. I was told the guy chosen to deflower me was Mike, a 28 year old white experienced tranny lover. 6'1" tall he was slim and athletic with a craggy reasonably handsome face and so he said a 9" circumcised moderately thick erect penis. I was not attracted to him but I was turned on by the thought of having to let him fuck me because Helen was forcing me to do so. The evening came when he was to visit. Helen had set up a video camera and opened a bottle of wine, chill out music came from the CD player and I was dressed as every pervert's dream school girl. Amanda had made me up to the nines earlier in the day, fully aware of what Helen had planned for me. She had used pink and peach to make me cute but sexy and dyed my hair a streaked strawberry blonde. I was wearing a white blouse with a school tie, grey tight mini skirt which showed my barely black stocking tops and suspender tabs and 4" stiletto heeled black patent court shoes. As usual I indulged my passion for rings and in my ears were my largest silver hoops. Mike wanted a scenario where he was the young teacher who gets off with the 5th form slut and I was the slut. I was so apprehensive I had soon drunk half the bottle of wine in two large glasses and Helen had poured me a third. When the doorbell rang Helen sent me to open it and told me to remember to chew the bubble gum she had given me. I drained my third glass of wine, began to chew some bubble gum and went to the door. I was still not a willing participant but seeing myself in the school uniform had been a turn on as I looked like a tranny chaser's wet dream which made me feel very sexy and the wine had relaxed me a little. Mike came in at my invitation kissed me on the cheek and gave me a bunch of flowers. This helped to increase my feminine feelings and made the planned evening seem a little more acceptable. Helen gave him a scotch and poured a large one for me too. I blew a bubble as cutely as I could for Mike then deposited the gum and took a deep slug of whisky to steady my nerves, realising as I did so that I was feeling a little tipsy. "How old are you Sasha?" Mike asked. "Fifteen sir," I dutifully replied. "Mmm you are very naughty drinking so young. Do you do lots of naughty things Sasha?" "No sir." "Oh I think you do. Your school grades are dreadful aren't they?" "yes sir." "And that is because you never do any work but are always off partying, drinking and getting off with boys, isnt it?" "I guess so." "Okay Sasha come and sit by me," Mike demanded indicating the sofa next to him. I sat down with my knees clamped together and a small gap between us which Mike closed immediately. "Drink up Sasha because I want to show you what trouble young girls can get into when they booze and mess with boys. I think it will be a valuable lesson don't you?" I spluttered a sort of agreement as I downed the scotch. It was easier for me to down it quite quickly as I hated the stuff. This Helen knew so she smirked at me from across the room. Mike and Helen chatted inconsequentially as I quickly sank my second scotch and I began to relax. I began to enjoy Mike's company and the game of pretend we were playing, though I was finding it difficult to focus or think clearly. As I drank the third whisky Mike's arm went round my shoulders and he whispered in my ear that I was very sexy and that he wanted me to snuggle into him. It was warm and secure so I thought why not it feels quite nice. With his arm wrapped around me and his hand caressing my shoulder, which also felt nice, Mike asked what naughty things I did with the boys? "Kiss them surr," I replied whoozily. "Are you a bit of a slut Sasha? Do you kiss them with your tongue and do you let their tongues into your mouth?" "Sometimes sir." I giggled. "What you sometimes let them kiss you with their tongues or you are sometimes a slut?" Confused I said, "umm sometimes I let them put their tongues in my mouth." "Which makes you a bit of a slut doesn't it." "I dunno." "Did you know that kissing like that is called french kissing." "No sir," I said as wide eyed as possible as I was beginning to enjoy the role play. "Show me how you french kiss the boys Sasha." I gulped hard and then swallowed my third drink, but still hesitated. Momentarily I was scared again. "Here have a sniff of this Sasha," said Mike passing a small vial of amyl nitrate under my nose. The fumes made my head spin but I also felt a quickening of my pulse and a mounting excitement in my chest. "Go on Sasha show Mike or I will let him spank your bottom hard," Helen said. I could not focus and felt detached from my surroundings but also I was feeling very warm and comfortable. I looked at Mike tilting my head slightly and as I parted my lips to speak and prolong the inevitable, Mike took my action as all the invitation he needed and he crushed my sissy lips to his. I was too shocked to struggle but then through the whisky fug I realised that I was not repulsed by what Mike was doing. That he so obviously desired me made me feel desirable as a woman and accepting of the attentions of a man. Physically it was quite nice and he was a good kisser, by now unconsciously my tongue was responding to his, but what was really interesting was how utterly feminine it made me feel being in a guy's arms. When we surfaced for air Helen refilled my glass and Mike held some more amyl nitrate under my nose. The buzz made my tummy tingle. Mike now had a hand on my knee and was causing me to shiver nicely as he moved it a little up the inside of my thigh with me unresistingly parting my legs slightly for him. "You kiss like a slut Sasha and I bet you let the boy's feel you up like this, don't they?" "Shumtimes," I gasped. "She is a fibber Mike," said Helen, "she is always letting the boys cop a feel and she likes to play with their cocks." "Oh you really are a slag aren't you, a right little tart. Now you didn't answer me before so this time tell me truthfully are you a slut?" Mike asked as he put the whisky to my lips and forced me to take another slug. "Yesh shurr I am a slut," I slurred and spontaneously initiated another round of tongue tag. I was feeling very horny by this time and any inhibitions had been drowned in scotch. Helen had erected her camcorder and was filming my antics. I smiled into the lens as Mike gave me another snort of amyl nitrate and with a giggle I drained my fourth scotch. "That I think is enough young lady," Helen said removing my tumbler. "Awww shpoil sport," I giggled. Mike's hand had parted my legs fully by now and had stroked its way to my crotch. "Nice clit," he said as he felt my member stiffen to his touch. I rubbed his groin in automatic response, "niesh cock," I countered. "Take it out and play with it baby," Helen urged her hand now inside her panties. "Okay cos I am a shlut and thas whass shluts does." "Thats right honey you are," Helen cooed. I was a little disappointed when I released it from Mike's slacks, this was no 9 incher, 7 at best. Inwardly I giggled that I was disappointed by the size of another man's cock but I was not worried, I was so way past worrying, especially as Mike was giving me more poppers. I skinned his cock a few times as I kissed him deeply, really getting into the role of a teenage slag when he broke the kiss and hoarsely said, "kiss my dick Sasha then I want you to lick it and suck it, like the naughty little slut you are." "Yeshh shurr," I replied no longer really aware what planet I was on and quite content to lick the precum from the tip of Mike's penis. Vaguely I thought it tasted okay. I opened my mouth and let Mike's cock in. Using my experience gained on Helen's dildos I went to work appreciating that this warmer and more responsive phallus was much more fun than a dildo. Meanwhile Helen had taken out a vibrator and was thrusting it into herself as I sucked rhythmically on Mike's cock. Mike told Helen how good I was and she shut her eyes with orgasmic bliss. When she started down from her climax she took the vibe out and hitching my skirt up as my head was in Mike's lap, Helen pulled aside my panties and lubed my anus before plunging in the vibe coated in her juices. I went into sensory overload and was moaning with ecstasy as Mike began to face fuck me. This went on for some time before Mike pulled away and said to Helen, "Is she ready for fucking." Helen had no doubt that I was. "Yessh pleashh Mikey," I said as he positioned me on the sofa on all fours. It felt incredibly exciting, but even in my drunken state I began to feel anxious inside. I had never been with a man before and so fear began to well inside me. It was banished when he tip of Mike's tongue suddenly slid into my anus. It felt wonderful. Mike then forced open my legs and his powerful body rose up over me. I began to tremble. "Fuck your shlut shurr," I encouraged as I felt Mike's penis press against my rosebud. With ease he pushed into me and the feeling was fantastic but that was the last I remember of the night as the sexual stimulus, scotch and poppers took their toll. I did not blackout but my memory of the rest of the night was completely gone the next morning as I battled through the hangover from hell. By the evening I had recovered and Helen who had teased me all day about how much I seemed to enjoy the previous night told me we were going to watch the video of the previous evening's proceedings. I sat next to Helen on the sofa wearing a short pink nightie and matching chemise. At first the film just showed Mike and I making out as I hazily remembered. I was clearly drunk but also obviously enjoying the experience of being with a guy. I remembered both these feelings, but I did not remember screaming with ecstasy as Mike ploughed into me or bouncing on the end of his pole like a demented nymphomaniac. Watching myself being fucked was quite a turn on but I was embarrassed and a little tearful to hear myself saying, to Helen as Mike fucked me, "I love cock. I love cum. Whore me out I wanna fuck guys for you. Let them cumm all over me." I also urged Mike to "fill my asshpussy with cum" exclaiming to nobody in particular that I was "a cock hungry shlut." Noticing I was upset Helen said, "don't worry sweetheart you were drunk. It was just fun." I asked Helen what this all meant and was I gay. Helen told me to stop worrying and enjoy new experiences, adding as she eased her hand up my night dress to fondle my excited cockette that bisexual seemed more likely. After the experience with Mike my feminisation accelerated and the relationship with Helen became more intense with there no longer any doubt that she was my mistress and I was her sub sissy. Two weeks later on returning home on a Friday evening she told me to dress in the clothes she had laid out on the bed for me and follow the makeup instructions she had written down for me. I did both without question. By the end of it I had made a very passable impression of being a young hooker dressed in a tight red top, black leather mini skirt, fish net hold up stockings and shiny black knee boots with 4" heels. Helen also told me to lube my ass and insert my largest butt plug, which gave me a pronounced wiggle when I walked. When I went down stairs I met Monty, who was one of the guys that Helen I had met with to decide who would be my lover. He was a large, slightly fat, middle-aged black guy. I remembered I had thought he was quite amusing company when we had met previously. Turning to Helen when he saw me Monty said, "perfect, she looks amazing, just like a trashy street whore. Very sexy." I looked confused and noticing Helen said, "well Sasha you said you wanted me to whore you out and you remember Monty wanted to fuck you while you acted like a hooker, so here we are. I decided one lover was not enough I think you should be broken in by several cocks so you realise that you are just a pathetic little pansy. Not a proper man at all. Just a soft effeminate receptacle for real men's cum. And Monty here has a wonderful, large cock, just like you need. You want this don't you baby?" "Yes," I hoarsley and uncertainly whispered not wanting to disappoint or upset Helen. Helen told me I was a good girl and demanded that I take some snorts of amyl nitrate and share a large joint with her. My head was soon buzzing and I felt relaxed and excited at the same time. Helen pronounced me as ready causing Monty to break out in a lascivious grin. "Okay then you tart come over here and suck my dick," demanded Monty, standing in our living room with his straight, veiny, large cock pointing straight out from his trousers. As if in a dream I found myself kneeling in front of him. Did I really want this, my mind seemed uncertain but my hand had already grasped his erection and was guiding it to my parting lips. My next thought was how nice his cock tasted as I ran my tongue around Monty's glans and probed his pee hole and how nice it was to have a really big cock to play with this time. Soon I was bobbing my head enthusiastically as Monty's penis slid in and out of my mouth. As his passion rose so he grabbed my head and began to face fuck me. I struggled not to choke or retch as his cock entered my throat. "Oh yeah baby you are a great cocksucker" Monty groaned as I felt him tense a moment before his cock spasmed and spewed forth his hot seed into my hungry mouth. I felt proud of myself that I had made this guy cum in my mouth and I wanted to please him. I kept sucking and licking as his penis shrank, drinking every drop of his slightly tangy cream. I was amazed by how much I liked the taste but I did and I wondered how different other guys would taste. "Come here and kiss me sweetheart," Monty demanded after I had licked him clean. Monty had me settle on his lap as he sat on the couch. We necked enthusiastically and I felt him tug my panties to one side and begin to move the butt plug inside me, making me whimper. Suddenly he removed it with a plop and briefly I felt cold air enter my well stretched rectum. A momentary feeling of emptiness was fleeting as Monty inserted a thick finger into my well lubed ass, quickly following it with two others. By now I was feeling really turned on and very happy to play the role of the little slut which my appearance made me seem. I snaked my delicate hand around his fat black cock and began to coax it back to an erection. His cock was so thick and smooth and it fascinated me. I felt a tingling inside and knew that Monty's fingers were not enough for me. "Oh Daddy put that big boy in me," I begged. "Sure thing sugar plum," Monty replied. Monty lifted me up slightly and I felt him position his bulbous cockhead against my rosebud. The pressure built and it hurt a little at first but all those hours of dildo play and butt plug insertion ensured that my ring could expand to take him in. I squealed a little as he entered me and the feeling of fullness was incredible. As his cock hit the target of my prostate I felt simultaneously both discomfort and intense stimulation. The pain receded quickly so that I was soon bouncing enthusiastically and comfortably in his lap, as his shaft slid in and out of my eager love tunnel. I knew instantly that I loved the feeling of a big cock filling me. It was mentally so emasculating and feminising which I craved but as I moved in time to his surges it was also intensely physically pleasurable. The strength of these feelings grew as I tried to keep pace with Monty's increasingly urgent thrusts. His hands began to knead and claw at me as his excitement mounted. The physical stimulation was overwhelming, my body trembled, I tossed my hair as I shook my head moaning with lust, craving his cock. Aww fuck, fuck yes. Oooh yes yes, YES, FUuuuuuuuck," I cried out as my insides felt like they were melting and my anal orgasm threatened to blow my head off. I cried out with the unspeakable glory of it, as wave after wave of divine electricity coursed through my body and my still flaccid cockette leaked a little watery jizz without even being touched. Helen watching us with a vibrator deep in her pussy noticed my little orgasm and smiled at me. As I calmed a little Monty lifted me off his lap and turned me over so that I was leaning forward onto the sofa. Having spread my legs he then buried his cock once more into what now felt like my gaping bum hole. "Take this you cunt, whore," he snarled as with animal passion he brutally ploughed into me. I loved every minute of being his little sex doll as he pounded me ever faster until he reached his climax. "That's it milk it" Monty demanded as I clenched and rippled my anal muscles around his erupting manhood, in wonder at the complex of emotions and physical yearnings that washed over me as he filled me with his baby- making cream. Sated he whacked my ass as I slumped forward and sprawled in exhausted bliss across the sofa, "your a good fuck slut," he said. "For a beginner she is a terrific cockwhore," Monty said to Helen as he left having shagged me half senseless and quickly pulled his clothes back together. I may have been good but I was clearly just a quick fuck as far as Monty was concerned but far from feeling disappointed I was excited to be treated as disposable sex trash. After he had gone Helen embraced me and kissed me deeply. Pushing two fingers into my sloppy hole she laughed "my little sissy likes to be fucked by men so much it makes her cum. You like being a girly boy cockwhore don't you." Ashamed I meekly replied "yes but Helen it is you I adore." "I know sweetie, I know," she said soothing my confusion with erotic stroking of my ass. The next day being a weekend Helen had me dress as a very sexy secretary to meet another guy that lunchtime, Robert. He had an office fantasy and wanted Helen to take me to his office for an afternoon session. We had talked long into the previous night about how I felt looking and acting like a slutty girl for men. I confessed to being turned on by it, but also confused and humiliated by it. This humiliation stemming as much from my desire to act like a slut as to have sex with another man. She admitted that for her the thrill was wrapped up in three things, seeing her boyfriend have gay sex, seeing me humiliated and emasculated and knowing she had the power to change me from a normal guy into an effeminate fairy faggot. She wanted to extend my humiliation so the next day I was to be dropped off at Robert's office and to get to it I would have to walk through an open plan office just as his Saturday morning employees were going home. Helen prepared me by tightly lacing me into a corset, which pulled in my waist, defined my hips and with the added assistance of silicon breast inserts gave me a decent cleavage and the appearance of quivering breast flesh through my naughtily partially unbuttoned white silk blouse. My outfit was completed by a grey waistcote, very tight black pencil skirt to 4" above my knee and 5" high stiletto heeled black suede court shoes. As the corset had garters I wore stockings attached to them. They were a nearly nude colour but with a very prominent black seam, which made them very tarty looking, an impression enhanced by the clear outline of the garter tabs through my tight skirt. Robert wanted me to have long hair so Helen had bought a strawberry blonde wig very similar in colour to my own hair but this had light blonde highlights in it. Unlike my natural hair it had a light wave and cascaded to the middle of my back. I knew I looked attractive and passable at least at night but at 6'2" in my heels I was bound to attract attention and in the glare of office lights most would suspect my true gender if not know. As Robert ran an events company it was likely that I would be considered to be a drag queen looking for a booking so Robert would not arouse suspicion amongst his staff, but I would be gauped at as a freak. Scared and embarrassed I entered the reception area of Robert's company. I tottered over to the reception desk, "Can I help you err miss?" asked the receptionist, an attractive brunette in her late 30s. "Sasha Dickard to see Robert Hawley," I lisped. She grined, "of course" and escorted me through an open plan office to a rear private office. A few people were still preparing to leave as I passed and I received some knowing looks and even the odd lustful stare. My heart beat with excitement at the same time as I blushed with embaressment and a little shame. I was so effeminate and submissive now, how could I ever claim to be a man. "Through here Miss Dickard," the receptionist said ushering me into a private office. She closed the door behind me and I stood in a large room on a plush maroon carpet, with a big desk at the far end and a sofa and comfortable chairs between me and the desk to one side of the office. A video camera was on a stand in one corner angled to cover the centre of the office. It guessed it was to film the proceedings and I flushed a little at the thought of having my homosexual encounter recorded by strangers. A thick set, powerful looking man in an open necked and expensive shirt and suit trousers, stood up from behind the desk, "ah you must be Sasha," he said coming towards me and extending his hand, "yes sir, pleased to meet you," I replied taking his hand. He didn't shake my hand but pulled me towards him, "no need to be so formal, Mr Hawley will be fine," he said as he kissed my cheek lightly. "Now then Sasha," Robert began indicating that I should sit on the couch, "you know I am looking for a personal assistant, a very personal assistant, yes?" I nodded and smiled. "She needs to be a very special girl. Pretty, attractively dressed, willing to undertake any reasonable tasks, obedient, a little subservient even. Above all she must want to please me. Is this you Sasha? "Yes I think so Robert." "Well you look good I must say. Take off your waistcote and unbutton another one on your blouse. Mmmm that's better, very nice." Robert slipped one arm around my back and pushed the other into my blouse to massage my breast through the bra cup. "Very pretty corset by the way and I like that you have at least the illusion of breasts. Very good." Passively I sat there whilst he explored me. When he finished with my breasts he began to ran his hand between my thighs, so I parted my legs a little for him as he stroked the fine denier stockings, flirtingly fingering my stocking tops. "Oh yes very nice," he breathed heavily." I thanked him submissively. Suddenly Robert was all business and pulled away he moved me to the desk and got me to follow him. Putting me in front of a laptop he told me to take a letter. I was not a good typist at the best of times and with my long nails I was hopeless. The printed letter was full of mistakes, some bits of text were jumbeled and there were misspellings and typos galore. Robert examined my effort, "this is terrible Sasha, absolute rubbish. This does not please me at all. You will have to try very hard to make up for this." I suppressed a giggle at Robert's unconvincing role playing but was surprised when he picked up the phone and asked someone called Janice to join us. "Janice can type the letter while you take another form of dicktation." Robert sat in an armchair and gestured for me to kneel in front of him. As I knelt he undid his fly and produced a thick 6" circumcised cock. I bent forward and gently caressing his balls with one hand used the other to guide the shaft into my yearning mouth. Sucking and licking his dick I was disturbed by a cough as Janice, the receptionist I had met earlier, entered the room and smirked at me. I blushed from my neck to my forehead as my face burnt with shame. "Keep going you little whore and don't mind me. Please the boss because I suspect that is all you are good for," Janice said sneering at my typing attempt. Later I was told that Janice was not a receptionist but Robert's sister and business partner. Janice sat down and typed the letter as Robert dictated with complete indifference to me sucking his cock.. Finished she brought the printout to Robert who told her it was perfect and that perhaps she could give the sissy lessons. As a reward she was invited to play with me. As I continued to work Robert's cock with my mouth, Janice came up behind me and pushed my skirt up around my hips. Reaching forward between my legs she massaged my groin with the palm of her hand. Pulling my panties to one side she fingered some lube into my anus and then removing a pritt stick from a desk draw she thrust it into me. As I grew hotter and bobbed my head up Robert's cock ever more enthusiastically she finally crawled between my legs and sucked on my little erection. She was very good and I erupted my seed into her mouth shortly before Robert flooded mine with his. When recovered Robert told me to kneel between Janice's legs and tongue her clit and pussy while he watched. Janice positioned herself against the desk her skirt hitched up and her panties around one ankle. I knelt before her parting her sopping pussy lips and tentatively touched her clitoris with the tip of my tongue. She tasted as she smelt, clean and nicely tangy. I flicked, sucked and nibbled as guided by a gasping Janice whilst Robert watched cajoling his prick back to an erection with his own hands. My jaw was aching by the time Janice clamped my head between her thighs and began to moan loudly, shaking as an orgasm ripped through her body and her juices flowed over and into my mouth. She continued climaxing for at least another three minutes. Finally, pushing me away so I could at last breathe freely she announced that I was a great pussy licker and suggested that I come with her to freshen up my make up. Taking my hand Janice took me to the ladies. Holding my face in her hands she kissed my messy mouth deeply. "I needed that," she said before telling me she would repair my make up for me. After a few minutes she said, "there all done, now knowing my brother he will be sat there with a raging hardon with which having come once he will now fuck you senseless for at least the next hour. So good luck girl. Make sure he has fun." Janice took me back to the office. "Pretty as a picture and all yours," she announced as she half pushed me into the room like a piece of meat into the lion's cage. "Strip for me baby," Robert demanded. "Take your skirt and blouse off slow and sexy. Then your panties but leave your corset, stockings and heels on." "Yes Mr Hawley," I replied in my best munroesque ultra girly voice. I seductively minced and wiggled as I slowly removed my skirt and then my blouse. I eased my panties down my legs with my back to Robert as I looked at him coquetishly over my shoulder. "My that is a fine ass," Robert said standing behind me and cupping my bum cheeks. I giggled receptively. His hands were all over me as I thrust my bum at him and rubbed it suggestively against his groin. His jacket, tie, trousers and shoes were soon discarded. I could feel him iron hard against my ass crack as I ground my pert bum against his crotch. Reaching back I tugged his boxers downward and immediately his hardness began to press against my rosebud. This man was so hot for me that his lust infected me increasing my desire for him to invade and possess me. "Please Mr Hawley fuck me," I panted. "Is that what you want you stupid cunt. Is that all you are good for to have me fuck your ass." "Yes Mr Hawley," I replied. "That is all I am good for to be fucked and filled with cum. I am just a stupid bimbo cunt in need of a good fuucking." "Oh baby you are so right." Bending me over the table his cock head pressed against my pre-lubed anal opening and it gave way with little resistance to his invading penis. Inexorably he pressed forward until I could feel his balls resting on my ass cheeks. It got easier with every new cock I took and this my third felt better than the other two as Robert quickly built up a gentle rhythm. As he slid back and for up my well lubed rectum he reached around clawing at my stockinged thighs and fondling my clit stick making it hard. He nibbled my neck and licked my ear as he started to pound me harder. "Aww yeah slut take it all," Robert exhorted me as his balls slapped against my ass. My head shook in passion and my knees felt week as tingles of excitement built in my stomach. "Yes Mr Hawley fuck me hard, mmm harder, fill me with your baby juice," I squealed and gasped. He rammed me ever harder until I had to steady myself against the desk with my arms. "yes Im gonna fill your sissy ass," he shouted moments before he ejaculated copiously inside me. I spasmed with orgasmic pleasure as he filled me. I moaned with lust and need. Sated Robert quickly dismissed me and I hurriedly redressed. On wobbly legs, encased in laddered stockings and with a sore ass, I minced towards Janice. "My you look like you had fun and were a great fuck. Sounded like it too." Blushing I thanked Janice who ordered me a taxi to take me back home. Before it arrived she handed my a DVD telling me it was something to remember my visit by. That evening Helen and I watched it and the sight of me having my submissive, girly butt pounded by Robert turned her on hugely so that soon enough my legs were drapped over her shoulders as she ravaged my ass pussy once more with her largest strap on. The male visits to and from Robert, Monty and Mike plus a few other guys went on for about seven months before Helen got bored with them, probably because she realised I was enjoying them too much and certainly was no longer humiliated by them or any of the scenarios she or the guys dreamed up. The rapid immersion in sex with men that Helen forced on me but which I rapidly grew to crave, left me increasingly frustrated when she turned off the tap. She allowed me tasters of what I was missing as on three occasions in the next five months she made me suck off guys at tranny friendly clubs, and the clear frustration it caused me added to the pleasure of inflicting humiliation on me. Each time I was made to act slutty and suck cocks in back alleys or toilets which made me feel cheap and desperate. Helen even called me a spunk addict. Without relief my need grew until my sexuality appeared to be a confusion of conflicting desires. Because Helen and I experimented with my cross dressing together whilst I was confused about my emotional and sexual feelings and desires I did not feel guilt. What we were doing was consensual and generally bringing mutual pleasure so there was nothing to feel guilty about. Helen increased my confusion to an extent by emphasising my role less as a make believe girl and more as a sissy and highly effeminate male. She did not want me to hide behind the safety of being a passable woman when fully dressed. I worked for a community arts project in the back office so not only was I with a very liberal, broadminded group of people, I was also not dealing directly with the public so no one made any adverse comments about my increasingly feminine appearance and mannerisms at work. We were a small team of nine of which just two others were men and one of those, Colin, was openly gay, though at 6'1" and well built he was nothing like the little fairy I was increasingly coming to resemble. Helen got me to wear increasingly tight trousers through which the line of obvious panties would show. I was encouraged to wear more feminine style shirts and sometimes to let the lace of a camisole show through them. Helen often made me wear a butt plug to work which forced me to roll and sway my hips. On my well moisturised and increasingly smooth face I was encouraged to use a little powder and to apply lip gloss, both of which hardly drew attention away from, double pierced ears, my ultra long eyelashes, my well defined eyebrows which seemed to become thinner and more feminine with every visit to Amanda's and my girl's hair do. Eventually the fear, embarrassment and concern about what I was doing subsided, though the humiliation of being such a sissy remained but it did so as an almost exquisite thrill. Helen usually got me to travel home from work on the bus to increase my humiliation but sometimes she would pick me up. On one such occasion she asked my boss Michelle if I was ready and used Sasha as my name. Michelle was confused but when told that her employee Josh was known by his girlfriend as Sasha she readily agreed that it seemed a more appropriate name for a girly boy. From then on I was known as Sasha to everyone irrespective of whether or not I was dressed as a girl. In work my slow transformation into a transgendered pansy helped the other employees to gradually change in the way they acted with me. Almost imperceptibly the women increasingly treated me as one of them. The more they accepted me the more I was comfortable with them and the more I acted like them. Both of the guys also began to treat me differently, including opening doors for me and helping me to lift heavier objects. Colin especially began to spend more time with me and to ask openly about my transgendered nature. Helen and I were together for 18 months but soon after I had my first gay experiences under my own initiative we mutually agreed to split. She remains a friend and there was no animosity when we broke up we just realised that I had moved on to another level. This move came about following the Christmas party season. It was then I met Ryan at Helen's works Christmas bash. I went in full fem glory, having pleaded with Helen to let me do so rather than appear as a faggot at a fetish club. I wore an off the shoulder red figure hugging mini dress, with a pvc black corset laced tightly over the top of it. My hair had been dyed a bright bottle blonde for the occasion. I attended the party as Helen's partner and although it was fancy dress there was no doubt amongst all the people there that I was not just dressed like a girl for the party but that I was a fully fledged sissy. It was Helen's company so nobody was going to criticise her and everyone was very accepting, especially a 6ft 3inch hunk called Ryan. He was a 30 year old client of Helen's firm, well known to her and openly bisexual. He asked Helen if I would dance with him and she agreed. I enjoyed dancing with him and after a while Helen's staff stopped stealing furtive glances at us. I was treated as one of the girls and was even asked to accompany two of her secretaries to the toilet where one of them, Krista, told me that I was very lucky because Ryan was cute and she did not think Helen would mind if I had some fun with him. The other girl, Amy, told me that Helen always liked to get drunk at the Christmas party and usually coped off with somebody who was not her partner. Sure enough a little later on the dance floor I noticed her passionately entwined around some young stud, so when Ryan dragged me out on the dance floor again I resolved to go with the flow. We danced to a europop number and then some urban beats both of which gave me plenty of opportunity to rub myself up against Ryan to squirm against him and to thrust my ass against his groin. Then we were into a slow number and Ryan held me tight to him and his big hands kneaded my ass as our groins grinded together. There was no mistaking he wanted me badly as I could clearly feel his huge hard-on against me. I continued to overtly try to stimulate him, acutely aware of the stares and grins of Helen's work colleagues and other party guest's watching my antics. Somewhere as I did this I realised I had changed as I was not humiliated but delighted by the attention. Cupping my arse Ryan steered me towards the bar, as we were about to reach a bar stool Helen stooped us and dropping her car keys into my handbag said, "Sash why don't you take Ryan out to our car and give him what he so obviously wants." I smiled my response and taking Ryan's hand I led him outside to the car park. Leaning against the car we began to neck enthusiastically. His hands were all over me and when my highly manicured slim fingers began to fondle his flagpole through his chinos I was surprised by how much I wanted to hold and stroke his cock. There was no doubt that I was not being instructed and forced now (no matter how willingly I had allowed myself to be coerced previously), now I was enthusiastically responding to an invitation. Being with a man was no longer a humiliating enforcement of my sissy soul, it was simply sex, a sating of animal lust. I wanted to be lusted after by men and some men, like Ryan I lusted after. There was no longer any doubt I was attracted to men. I had a deep yearning for Ryan, almost a hunger. I wanted desperately for him to take me across the hood of the car and fuck me wildly, but as soon as I opened his flies and felt his heavy veiny and potentially spectacular penis, he became concerned about possible passers by. He clearly wanted me but he was not prepared to make love to me in the open air potentially in public. He urged me to get in the car and once we were both in the back he pushed my head towards his groin in the unmistakable male demand that I suck his dick. I wanted more than that and I knew it would not go anywhere near to meeting the growing need within me, but I was trained to be a compliant cocksucking sissy and I responded in the only way I knew how, by parting my lips and enveloping his member in my mouth. After a mere five minutes of my expert ministrations on a nervous Ryan he spewed his gooey seed into my mouth. I swallowed and with his needs met he escorted me back to the party, where a beaming Helen asked if I had enjoyed Ryan as much as she was enjoying her young stud. By Christmas 2009 Helen had turned me into the swishiest, most effeminate pansy outside of a gay burlesque show. Anyo