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Another story with a vague contact with reality, just a ramble into my imagination Not all under height boys that live with a single parent mother are going to turn out to be effeminate, and I was certainly not planning on that. I fancied girls while at school and even had a few close friendships with the opposite sex. I liked sport and did boy stuff as a kid. But I was also thoughtful about my mum, she looked after me and I looked after her. We lived in a small house in an ok area, schools were good and there was plenty of space for me to get out if I wanted. So a pretty ok childhood. I did my GCSEs and did ok, then I tried A levels and did well enough but I could see a move to uni would be a strain on the finances, so I stayed at home and looked for a job when my friends left for the delights of student life, that being, poor diet, alcohol and debt. I suffered from none of those, but I did miss out on the lifestyle. Living with your mum is a little cramping when your mates are very independent, well besides financially. I discovered that eighteen year olds are not a much sought after age group and was resisting the temptation to make my Saturday job fulltime. Five days of shelf filling in a supermarket was not a great future I told myself. Then my mum's brothers offered me a job. They were builders and reasonably good ones it seemed, they had nice houses and cars, they made sure we were ok as part of the family. There was a story that I was conceived while mum was having a thing with a lad who the brothers did not approve of, when mum got pregnant they made it clear there was no way he was ever going to be a brother in law. The lad was never seen or heard of again, my uncles said they would look after us, and they did. Though I never meet my true father, it was clear that he was not a big bloke, the men in the family were big strong men, I was like I said, under height and under weight. Turned out the uncles needed someone to run the office, their wives and mum had all done it for a spell but for one reason or another had all left, I suspect before there was a big bust up and marriages ended over the accounts being done differently to how they wanted it doing. Well I had done business studies and felt well equipped to do the job. That was until I started. I got myself onto courses locally for suitable subjects like accounting and the computer programmes they had. Things were going fine, I did as I was told, they gave me a load of stuff to sort out and I just did it without questioning. Then I started to think about how the office worked as a whole, and made a few suggestions about filing first. As long as they could find what they wanted that was fine. So I introduced a structured system that was far better than the previous, which was basically making a pile, way of doing things. Then I got more into the numbers and was not so good at changing things, but the accounts worked and that was what the taxman wanted. Over time I got to be quite good at the job, the paper trail was easy to follow, the desk was tidy, I even got the place painted and updated though I had to do it myself at the weekends. Things started to go awry during the boom years just before the recession. Work was good and the brothers were doing well, they bought new cars, went on flash holidays etc. Yet I was still on my basic wage that was not bad but I had thought I was part of the family business and would benefit from the rewards when there were some. Well I was not getting any rewards directly so I devised a plan. I had been given authority to sign cheques when I was twenty and had more or less become the main person to see if suppliers wanted paying, so I started off by putting through small petty cash receipts. Then I made copies of supplier invoices for goods we never had, and made the cheques out to cash and then banked them. I wanted to save for a deposit on a house so I opened a new account separate from my own and the business bank and watched my savings grow. The uncles never questioned anything I was doing, every now and then coming and taking a cursory look at the bank balance or the latest cash flow, then leaving me to it. They seemed happy with my work even if I was not, they were not that bad though, they did give me a company vehicle, I would have liked a little hot hatch, unfortunately I got a pick up that might well go missing in the day and come back caked in mud, not the best choice, but I got my travelling for free, I did however run the risk getting dirty just using the truck. Well, not long after I gave myself the "bonuses" I got to thinking that I needed to keep the fact that I was taking the money as secret as possible. It was unfortunate that I saw a man dressed as a woman, I mentioned this to mum who said she had seen him, apparently a transsexual, but in her words "No matter how the person feels inside, her body just does not want to cooperate" We got into a conversation about sexuality and quite openly talked about how we felt, which was quite surprisingly liberal, somehow you always think parents will be perfectly straight. Anyway I got to thinking that I could disguise myself when cashing the cheques, then the bank CCTV would not recognise me if I was ever questioned about it. I could always say I never went in that bank, look on the CCTV. So I spent time at home researching the possibilities, then I went shopping but this was far too nerve wracking. I would go into a shop look at something female go bright red and have to walk out, I bought nothing for weeks, then I came across a shop that caters for cross dressers and after two aborted attempts made it through the door. I was beginning to doubt how liberal I was after not even being able to walk through a door to a clothes shop. Once inside my nerves were calmed by a nice mature lady who offered me coffee and a chance to chat. I told her I needed to look like a woman for a bet, she asked how convincing a look, my back story was not complete and I made it up on the spot, and if I wanted to walk into a bank I needed it to be good. So I told her "Good enough to walk down the street" she explained that I would, with her help, be able to walk out the door looking entirely female, but if I did not want to attract attention I would need to walk, move, gesture, pose even stand like a woman to carry of the deceit. It was as I sat there with my empty coffee cup that I decided to give it a go, I asked how much and though expensive could justify it as an investment so I could gain more. Two hours later I am drinking another coffee while watching TV in a sitting room above the shop. She had dressed me in tight fitting business suit, grey with pink threading I think it was, a pink silk blouse with a pussy bow at the neck. My face was made up, a dark blonde wig sat on my head, my finger nails painted a shiny pink. All of these on their own were alien to me, but the heels were the weirdest thing and I immediately saw that walking out dressed in female clothes did not make you look like a woman, there was so much more to it. She let me have a few changes and I have to admit that the satin bridesmaid dress I wore that day was possibly my best ever, the colour was right, the fit perfect, but it was the feel that won me over, satin would always be my favourite material from then on. I remember getting home that afternoon and mum asking if I had been doing anything interesting, I said I had just been in town looking round, but she gave me a funny look and told me she was fine with whatever I wanted to do or call it. Then I went to the bathroom and saw that I had not cleaned off the makeup as well as I thought I had, my eyes had watered and must have been my downfall. This however was to prove my entry into femininity. Over our evening meal and a bottle of wine it finally came out that I had been to a cross dressing shop, my excuse being I had wanted to find out more for myself before I make a judgment. Very good, she praised me, and then asked how I liked the experience. I was soon telling her about what Elaine the dresser had told me, and how wearing the clothes does not create a woman, but I also told her how nice the fabrics were and how interesting some of the items had been, shoes for example. Then I told her how much it had cost, to which she calmly offered to help me dress if I wanted to in the future. I could not tell her why I wanted a disguise and told her thank you, and that I would like to find out more about visual differences between a man and a woman. She smiled at the prospect as she told me it would be interesting see if we could go out as mother and daughter one day. I was still thinking of a disguise for cashing cheques, mum was clearly thinking something else. It was late when we finally went to bed but she had planned how we might set about making me into a convincing woman. The next evening over tea, with clearer heads she asked me questions like shoe size, chest size and so on. Then by the next weekend she was able to present me with a few bags, she said to get me started. Some heels, a wig and a starter make up kit, along with several bra and panty sets. I must have looked nervous as she asked if I wanted to give it a go, she could take things back as long as they were unopened. I managed to stumble some words out like "It will be fun" while thinking "Arg what have I got myself into?" By that evening, by the time I had got all my necessary errands out of the way, like cashing my cheque, I found myself spending an evening with mum being schooled in the art of walking. My first heels had been for show at the shop, mum had bought me some to learn in. Lower but still narrow heeled and a full court she called them. I was soon walking about the house with ease, even downstairs was not a problem, which was until she decided I should do the finishing school exercise of walking with a book on my head, which stopped me looking at my feet. Anyway the evening was fun and a chance to do something with mum for a change. There was also the make up lesson, where she put stuff on, then I tried to copy her. This stopped when I got cleanser in my eye and it would not stop watering, so we settled down with to watch TV with a glass of baileys and a chick flick so I could see women looking good. I had to admit I was having trouble imagining me looking like those actresses, but apparently I should aspire to that standard even if I fail I will still look good in trying. Then after a few more strong drinks we agreed a timetable. The next weekend I would get fully dressed. The weekend after I dress again and learn from any lessons of the week before. Then in three weeks we shall go out, somewhere quite so few people will be about, but it will be out. It was the baileys talking I guess because I agreed to all this and even considered if I could make it to the bank within a month when I would be cashing my next bonus cheque. I was not sure who was the most excited about the upcoming weekend's activities, but by the time Saturday came I was nervous as to what I was going to be asked to do, and this was merely a start. The first shock was to be told I needed to lose all my body hair and spent an age in the shower with a razor. Followed with a generous massaging of miosturiser into my skin which was very nice. Then make up and underwear "Got you stockings because men prefer them, so I expect you will'. Then mum produced a plain fitted cream and gold cotton dress which she zipped up the back. I was amazed at how nice it felt, the high round neck and sleeveless style with just above the knee hem worked well. Just shoes, wig and some bracelets and a long necklace to finish me off she said and I was ready to have my first day at being a daughter. By then it was lunch time and after we got a meal together we discussed what I should be called, she did not feel comfortable calling me Alex when in a dress she said, so after some discussion about names and things like what I would have been called if born a girl, and what do I like, we settled on a rather simple Alexis. Mum called that day Alexis's birthday, I just saw it as a step closer to my disguise, though I did privately admit that I felt unexpectedly comfortable in a dress. As planned I did not go out of the house that day, but I was not idle, there were plenty of things to be learned. Not just heels to adjust to, the dress needed constant monitoring it seemed to keep it right. There was the sitting detail, the standing up ritual straightening. Then added to this was how my arms and hands were held and moved. This was getting far more involved than I first thought, but it was fun and I still had that goal of being incognito every now and then. I had nowhere special to go on Sunday so without much encouragement put on female underwear, mum's dressing gown and spent ages playing with mine and her cosmetics. I have say I preferred more muted colours to strong reds etc. and took time blending eye shadows so as to create definition without edges. Mum seemed pleased with my progress and sat beside me while she did her own face, which was unusual as she rarely wore make up besides lipstick and mascara. A nice female moment she said, while I just liked being near her. The weekend over it was back to being Alex and work, uncle Dave asked how my weekend had been, I had no answer he would like, "planning on robbing you" did not sound good nor did "dressing as a woman" so I mumbled "nothing much'. I had a normal sort of week, plenty of work, going out a couple of times in the week to train with mates. What was not normal was mum asking how I was feeling about the prospect of being able to pass as a woman? I could think of "Interesting" as a reply, maybe she was trying to see if my sexuality was being challenged or some such idea. I assured her I was just doing it to see what it was like. The saying about walking in someone else's shoes came up, which made us smile, mum asked if I would like to try another style, I just said "Why not" without considering the consequences. Saturday morning came but I had some paperwork to catch up with so went to the office. Mum had been shopping and could not wait for me to get home it seemed. I was shooed to my room to strip off the Alex clothes and get into "something more appropriate" before lunch. I put on bra, knickers and her dressing before appearing in the kitchen "Well it's a start I suppose" was all she said. But once lunch was eaten I was sent straight back to finish off. I played with make up again, and brushed the wig into different styles, then once I was in the dress I asked her to zip me up. She did as requested then gave me a shoe box, I knew what to expect after our midweek conversation, cream sandals with a towering spike heel. I sat down to put them on, but needed to steady myself when I stood up, they really did affect how I stood and later how I walked. But before that I was given a lesson in the art of painting nails, mine were neatly clipped but not short, maybe needing a cut soon. So I was shown how to file from the sides and create a shape, then how to apply nail varnish. The smell was quite intoxicating and I was enjoying myself a little too much as my nails became a deeper shade of pink. Very nice mum said, very obvious I thought if it does not come off. We had an afternoon at home doing some cleaning and for me a bit of sorting out in my room and checking up on e mails and blogs etc. Then nicely chilled out over the evening meal, mum asked how I was getting on with the new shoes, I said something like fine, to which she smiled and said good. The next thing I know is that I am being talked into the idea of going outside, the reason being that walking about the house is not like walking on a street where you keep on going, no short journeys like in the house where you take a few steps and then rest. I was clearly not comfortable, but she suggested a quiet area where it was all shops that would be closed at eight so very few people about, or even a car park, just somewhere to walk. I had clearly had more wine than mum as she drove us into town, parked and then spent ages coaxing me out of the car. Looking back I have no idea what I was worried about, there was no one about, the car park was empty, the shops closed, we saw two couples on their way to somewhere who did not even look at us. What I did notice was the cool breeze on my stockinged legs, how vulnerable I felt dressed that way. The high heels made their impact though, the click clack on the paving, the lack of easy footing when I stood on uneven slabs, and after what seemed like an age of window shopping the ache in my calves as my legs coped with the new footwear. Mum was pleased though, she said I had got the walking off to a tee, maybe a little more movement in my hips, and I must stop looking down. But overall a definite pass, very well done for my first time out. For some reason I even felt proud of this achievement and got in the car, bum first then swing the legs in. "Perfect, not just a woman but a lady" mum commented. Then it was back home and a strong drink to settle my nerves and for mum think of where we should go for our proper mother and daughter outing. I must have drunk quite a bit as when I woke I was disorientated, not only did my head ache and my mouth felt like cotton wool, my body was feeling odd, then as my senses returned I realised I was wearing a satin nightie and still had a filled bra giving me shape to my chest. I should have objected, got up and removed it, but the satin felt so smooth and comforting next to my skin that I lay there wrapped in its luxury and allowed myself to come round slowly. Eventually mum looked round the door to see if I was awake, "Coffee" "Please" "Good night?" "Different" "You liked being Alexis" "Pardon" "Well you asked me for a nightie when we were getting ready for bed, so guessed you was liking it" "Did I ask?" "You did" "Oh" "I shall make that coffee........would you like the wrap that goes with that nightie?" "Mum!" Next thing she drops the satin wrap on the bed before leaving to make the coffee and shouting up that it is ready. Nothing for it but to put the wrap on and go and get my drink. So began another day of me in a dress and learning more about how to pretend to be a woman. I was not sure why but when I was removing the nail polish I felt a twinge of loss, maybe I was liking this more than I should, or maybe I was getting closer to my goal of going to the bank in disguise. After getting me outside a week early, mum was full of ideas for where we should go the next weekend. Shopping maybe, to the pictures perhaps, out for a meal, just a walk in the park. Then there was the question of what to wear. I said the dress was nice, but was told I should always have a choice, look at her wardrobe it was full of varying colours, styles and textures. No, a woman does not need a man's limited dress choice, therefore as Alexis I should embrace the opportunity. "Oh gosh" was all I could think, I only need one outfit for what I want, but mum is enjoying herself, let's see what happens. What happened was that on Saturday afternoon I am wearing some very non male trousers, they were black and covered my legs but that was about the only similarity. These were so soft to the touch, the belt was on my hips, and the crotch was very snug yet the legs were wide and loose, they also required heels to keep the hem off the floor. On my body I had what was best described as a pink mini dress, it had a bra shaped top then a flared part from below the bust which came to the top of my legs, maybe just maybe it could be worn as a dress. Mum had also bought me a jacket because she said we might not be so lucky with the weather and it might turn cooler. So once I was all changed and everything about me was feminine I plucked up the courage to leave the house sober. I need not have worried there was no one in the street looking and I was in the car and away. We decided that I should have a walk around with the late shoppers to make sure I was ok, then if that went well a Chinese buffet place we knew off, then the pictures and the anonymity of a dark theatre. The walk was not much different to the previous week, except I had trousers on and there were more people about. We looked in a few windows, then while I was looking at something mum slipped away so she could watch how people reacted to me, did they stare or comment. She came back to tell me that no one had shown the slightest interest in me. I suppose I should have been relieved but at the same time I wanted to say "Do you know how much effort all this has taken, take some time to notice me'. Then it was the Chinese, a pleasant Chinese girl showed us a table and how the meal worked, we ordered our drinks and were left alone to eat and chat. Again no one seemed to notice or be bothered with me. Then a walk to the cinema and while mum got the tickets I looked at the foyer on my own. I would need to go out on my own if I wanted to use the disguise so this seemed like a good way to start. That was until a bloke came up beside me and looked at the sweet choice in front of us "I can never make my mind up. How about you?" He was talking to me, this was not in the plan. "Oh I like the jelly babies" I tried to say in as soft a voice as possible. To my horror he continued to chat, asking what I had come to see, had I come far, then was I on my own. "No I am with my mother" I very quickly answered wishing she would turn up right then. He moved on, then mum meet me at the till to pay for my munchies. "He was nice" "Who?" "That bloke you were chatting to" "Oh him" "Yes him, good looking I thought" "Did you? Frightened me to death" "You looked to be doing really well, half expected you to link his arm and go and watch a film with him rather than me" "Mother !" I tried to say quietly. "I think we shall have to do some voice coaching, don't you?" I turned to pay the girl, "Thank you, ignore my mother please" Then mum linked my arm in a way I saw girls doing and guided me to the screen we were going to watch. On the way home, before we got to the car, mum managed to get me into a pub for a drink, I asked for lager and got a small stemmed glass, I took it as being taken for a woman, as Alex I would have expected a straight side pint glass, so some recognition for my effort I commented to mum later. To which I was told, "Women rarely get praised for looking good, so why should I expect to be any different, no comment is good. Besides the bloke at the sweet counter took you for a woman, virtually asked you out I think" I had to stop her there and talk about something else. Sunday was a relaxing day with nothing much to do but wait for Monday. Only this time I spent the first half the day in my borrowed nightwear and the second half cleaning myself up for being Alex the next day. This week was the week I did the cheques and I had made my preparation with fake invoices so I duly paid out all those accounts that needed paying, which just happened to include a few hundred pounds for me. I had put away over a thousand in a few months by this stage and wondered if I would be up for going to a bank on Saturday morning as Alexis. Mum was still telling how much fun our Saturday night had been, it was such a buzz she kept on saying, so it was not hard to make up a story about wanting to find out what it would be like to go out on a Saturday morning and do regular stuff, but as Alexis. she thought it a great idea and wanted to know what I had planned. Bit of food shopping, going to the bank. that sort of thing I suggested. I wanted to say on my own but she looked deflated when I talked and besides I felt it would give me a safety line if I got into trouble if she was about. I was up early on Saturday knowing it would not be my usual quick up and dressed routine. I was right, it was ten before we left the house, me in the trousers again and feeling a little more confident than previous trips. We went round the supermarket together while I got used to being with so many people. Then I suggested I go off on my own, she did not stop me and I was soon turning my cheque into cash and realising that I should really have a handbag and a purse, women do not use jacket pockets for anything but tissues. When I meet up with mum again I mentioned this and she said it had crossed her mind also. So for the first time since my embarrassing early visits to ladies shops I was looking at something a bloke should not be buying for themselves. I came away with a nice black shoulder bag, a pink purse and a rainbow coloured umbrella that would fold up into the bag. It felt quite odd having a bag at my side, but was just one more thing that affected my movement and my image as a woman. Something else that affected how I saw myself was how mum managed to get me from quite basic items such as the purse into the more frivolous items, such as nightwear. I tried to tell her I did not need anything new but she pointed out how many times I had borrowed hers and it was time I had my own. I was blushing under my foundation and blusher, but she knew I was cornered. I returned to the car with carrier bags containing, one long satin cerise nightie with lace shoulder straps, one cerise full length dressing gown and one pair of white slippers. All because mum thought I should like to have them. This was not in my plan when working out the disguise. With the money safely tucked away in the bottom of a drawer I felt that I should calm the dressing up down. I said that I needed to meet up with some friends on the Sunday and managed to curtail mum's plans for another night out, saying I was tired, which after a day like I had just had was possibly true. Anyway Alexis went dormant for a few weeks, I had things to do of a weekend besides indulge mum's desire for a daughter I argued with myself, I went back to sleeping naked and got on with being Alex. Mum did from time to time let me know how much fun she had from being out with Alexis, so after a month I relented and promised her a girls weekend, fortunately this coincided with my monthly cheque cashing trip, which could now be done in disguise as planned. Mum made sure I was fully prepared and made me have a full shave on the Friday night, then once we had done the food shop, I went off on my own again to the bank, telling her I wanted to experience going solo. Then with my cash in my pink purse I rejoined her as she came out of a clothes store "come in here, this will look great on you Alexis" I followed her only to be shown a black dress, I guessed lycra with lace detailing. I pulled at it showing how stretchy it was "will show every bump if get what I mean" "That is why you could buy a pair of these as well" On another stand were some big panties, and made of stronger stuff than regular ones. "They will hold everything in place, smooth the bumps out" I just looked at her, "And when would I wear it, hardly a shopping dress is it?" "No but for going out of an evening maybe" "Like when do I go out?" "Like this evening if you want" "Mum, what are you planning?'I just fancy going out for a meal with my favourite daughter, maybe the flicks again?" "Ok just this once, how much was it?" That was not it though, I needed some black stockings and a pair of shoes, plus another jacket, the brown one would never do. Apparently. And so after a rest at home we got ready to go out, went to a proper restaurant this time, then onto the pictures and another chick flick. As we sat at home later on I reflected on how, if a woman was wearing my outfit I would probably find myself staring at her. Mum just pointed out how unobservant I was as there been more than one bloke taking a second look at me. "Wow" I thought "I never had me down as sexy, just imagine if they knew the truth" and smiled to myself. Soon my life had fallen into a routine, most of the time I was Alex, but the first Saturday of the month I was Alexis. I made my visit to the bank and spent the day with mum dressing up and going out mostly. After about six months it dawned on me I could open an account as A Smith without the gender part, so that is what I did which allowed me to use my cards as Alexis or Alex, no one ever knew whether it should be Mr or Miss and no one cared. I even opened an account with Alexis in mind, but I had to show ID so I settled for the initial and started to deposit my cash into the account so it stayed separate from Alex. Things were going fine, my monthly outing as Alexis was enough for me and possibly enough fun for mum, though she did try and get me into new situations from time to time. One time we went to the city clubs and danced the night away. Another time she took me to a football match to see how men reacted to women in a macho arena. Several time she took me shopping and eventually got me to go into the cubicles and try items on, even coming to the entrance to let her see me, that was so nerve wracking you would not believe how nervous you can get when stripped and thinking someone is going to call out "There is a man in here'. In my opinion it is worse than the ladies toilets, at least you can lock the door there which is better than just a flimsy curtain to protect you. Then after eighteen months the housing bubble burst, my uncles were hit but not as badly as some, they picked up smaller jobs and let the casual workers go just keeping the core tradesmen on, but it was tighter on the money and the cars got traded for cheaper to run models, and their holidays stopped. Things were tough but still solvent, I did my bit and stopped taking my own bonus, I had by this time deposited a few thousand into my account and was thinking I might soon afford a house of my own. After what had been some very hard months, the cash flow was getting better and work was picking up once more, the brothers relaxed a little and even took a short holiday. It was then I decided I would restart my bonuses, I do not know what I did wrong but after my third cheque was cleared I came into the office one Monday morning to find my uncles looking serious. The computer was on and several files were out. "You do keep the office very well organised Alex, it is so easy to find stuff these days" I felt the blood drain from my body, it was not what he said it was the way he said it. "I mean you can put your hand on any invoice you want cant you, like this one for example" he had one of my fakes on the desk. "Now we are puzzled why Arkwright's have sent more invoices than are on the statement, and yet you always paid them all, the extra one being paid separately it seemed" I was thinking how bad could this get. I felt like a being a small boy in front of the headmaster again. "I think I can explain" I mumbled. "Well maybe you can explain this as well" the other brother opened an envelope and scattered some photos on the desk. There was a woman leaving my front door, that same woman got into my car, then the same woman went into a bank I knew only too well. "I ......errrr.......think it was time I was going" I was feeling like my knees would buckle under me, I needed to get away before they went. "Sit down Alex, I can see this is a bit of a shock to you" I sat on the spare chair. Now we have no idea how long you have been putting your hand in our till, but we are pretty sure that the last cheque you made out to Arkwright's never went to them, but the lady in these photos cashed a cheque for the same amount a couple of weekends back, it cleared on Thursday I believe." I felt a little courage return, "I was only doing it to help mum, I thought this was a family business but we were getting none of the rewards, and you were of in flash cars and tropical holidays" "Don't bring our Susan into this, we have had chat just now and she knows nothing except that she knows you like to be Alexis from time to time" A tear escaped from the corner of my eye. "Just perfect Dave, soft just like his dad" I got up to leave thinking I would be not welcome anymore. "Where do you think you are going? We think you owe us some money and maybe more of an explanation" "What's the point, you will sack me, I will just go" "Not that easy, you have broken the law, the police should be informed, you should be taken to court, be given a criminal record. Should he not John?" "Off course he should Dave" "But he was very good at keeping this all neat and tidy, be a shame to waste that and have to find someone new" I knew they were playing with me like a cat with a mouse. "Be a shame to lose her wouldn't it, but there has to be some punishment, we need to know she would not do something like this again" "We would? Any ideas love?" I found my voice "Please I admit it was me, it was not a lot just a little every now and then" "Well there we are a confession. Maybe we should delay the police, but I would like some sort of retribution" "Please what do you want?" "What was it your mum your said your name was?" "Alex" "No we know that, I mean when you go out in a dress?" "Alexis" I said quietly. "Well Alexis, you have a choice, either we call the police, or you come into work tomorrow all bright and breezy as Alexis. Your call" Then Dave added, "You can call Susan if you want, but you have until we finish our brew to decide. If you run away or don't find us we will call the police. Got it?" I swallowed hard, "Yes" came out as a squeak. Shattered I sat there and cried. Then I phoned mum. She was not surprised by their reaction after their unexpected call earlier. But she plainly said if I have stolen then I had to face the consequences. All I could say was but everyone will know. She just told me I could be teased at work and face the humiliation or end up in court. The phone rang "you there Alexis?" "Yes, Dave, I am here" The next thing was they were back in my office. "Decided?" "Yes" "Well come let us in on it" "I" I gulped "shall come into work tomorrow" "As Alexis?" "Yes as Alexis" "Right well then we have a few rules, don't we Dave" he looked at his brother "You will wear skirts and high heels, and we mean proper heels. Nice make up, pretty as you can. And we have one treat for you. Remember that row of shops we refurbished a few months back" "Yees" "Well as you know Sadie has not quite paid us for all the work has she. And seeing as how her shop is a salon we have done a sort of deal with her." "I am so sorry" "Enough time to be sorry later, right now Sadie is expecting you and has been told to do whatever she feels will help improve our Alexis's looks" "But there is no need I can sort myself out" "Now where would the good in that be, you could switch back to being Alex whenever you want, no we want to know that the little thief Alex is gone and our lovely niece Alexis is going to be around for a while" They were both grinning as I started crying again "Just like a girl, I think we are doing you a favour. Very soon your looks will match your personality" One last time I pleaded "Please" "Oh and to show we are not heartless, leave the truck you can have the little Citro?n from now on. Now off you go" They left me alone as I felt my blood coming back to me. I could still leave and face the police. Then the phone rang, it was mum. "You going to Sadie's?" "Oh mum I don't know" "well put it this way, if you come back here without going to Sadie's first, my brothers will inform the police and this would be the first place they will look" It dawned on me that to run away would mean leaving mum at least for several months, and where would I go, my money would not last too long, I would be alone. This was torture having to decide between mum and being Alexis. Then she broke my thoughts "I did like having Alexis around, and I think you liked it as well" "But not this way. I was only doing it to see if I could, I am really a man. Aren't I?" "Why do you think they are doing this to you, they are going to enjoy watching you squirm or be prosecuted. Your choice, hope to see you later. Love you" I looked at the little car's keys on the desk and just thought "Right, let's get on with it" I drove out of the yard without a word and made straight for the salon before my resolve could snap. The shop was empty except for two women. "Hello, I'm Sadie, this is Lucy, you must be Alexis" I blushed as I said "Yes" "Right then Alexis, I need to make a call and Lucy would you help Alexis into a robe" As I went into a back room I heard Sadie on the phone saying "Yes I suppose I should say she is here" then a pause while she listened "See you later' I dreaded to think what these two women would do to me, but I was not comforted with Sadie's words "Well then Alex....is, it seems we have carte blanche to do what we fancy. The only condition is that you look like a woman when you leave and that it will be difficult if not impossible to look like a man anytime soon" My heart was sinking as I braced myself for my treatments. "What have you done to piss them off then, and why will you let us do this to you?" We had plenty of time to talk, I explained how I had been caught taking money and how I had pretended to be a woman when I went to the bank thinking it would help cover the trail. She was intrigued that mum had helped me in my feminisation and asked if I thought she wanted a daughter rather than a son. I resignedly told her if that was true she would be getting her wish. Sadie told me something of why she was having trouble paying off her debt and I tried to be sympathetic but I was not really in the right frame of mind for that, I was staring at the worst case of humiliation and embarrassment imaginable. Sometime around lunch Dave turned up with a bag of what I was told were clothes he had picked up from my room, I dreaded to think what he might choose, but until Sadie was ready I would not find out what I had to go home in. About four I was finished. I shall start at the floor so I hopefully don't miss anything that had been done to me. My toes had been painted a colour called pretty pink. My legs along with the rest of my body had been waxed and soothed with a bronzing cream. My hands had long nails attached and painted a matching pink, I was already aware this would affect my grip and touch but was not truly ready from how much. The most changes happened to my head. I had extensions added to my rather long for a boy cut, then it was coloured a similar dark blonde to the wig I had been using, but with silver and gold highlights. Giving me a long ruler straight style which went to well past my shoulders the fringe clipped to one side as it swept across and down the side. I also had extensions added to my eyelashes which felt really weird as I could see them at the edge of my vision. My eyebrows were waxed into a thin line. My ears sported a hoop and stud in each lobe, as well as a small stud in the side if my nostril. Then though I did not realise it at the time the make up had a dye in it so it was semi permanent. My lips would have to be pink or darker for at least a week I was told the day after, the same went for the eye liner. I was truly stuck looking like a woman and if I failed to turn up for work I would have to now face the police looking this way. The final thing was to get dressed, I blushed when Sadie and Lucy asked if the clothes were mine, there was a set of white satin undies, bra, panties and suspender. Tan stockings. A white silk blouse. A flower pattern pleated skirt. The cream sandals. My brown jacket. And a brown shoulder bag. Before I could dress Lucy checked the bra size and brought out a box which contained some very realistic tits. Which I very soon found out were to be stuck to my chest in way that would make me look well endowed. Lucy and Sadie both told me I would have no trouble passing as a woman, if that was any comfort. not really I told them, but thanked them all the same. Lucy hugged me and offered her best wishes. When I asked for my other clothes I was just told Dave had taken them. This should have warned me for what I would find at home. It was a challenging drive home, a new car, heels and not sure where I was going made it quite stressful, but eventually I was parked outside my home. I had never done this on a weekday at the busiest time. Nothing for it, I got out and went for the door. Mum was in and waiting for me. "Oh. Wow. You look fantastic. Come here." We hugged and I felt myself relax. "So you did it" "Clearly" "I'm pleased, would have hated if you had done a runner." "Best of two horrid options really" "Don't be like that, you look great, I get to have Alexis all the time, or at least for a few weeks I guess. You keep your job. The police aren't involved" "But I will have to face everyone at work tomorrow. It will be dreadful looking like this" "Rise above it and just ignore anything unless it is to do with work" I changed the subject "What is for tea?" "Stew" "Smells good" "Come on lets have drink and settle down.....Alexis" "Yes it is Alexis. I'm so sorry, it is all my fault" "Forget it, this is how it is at least for this week, so get used to it" and she gave me hug before going to serve up the tea. Over the meal we discussed what I should wear the next day. A suit I had bought many months ago but like all my clothes, hardly worn, seemed favourite, the tight skirt would be easier to manage, and the jacket could keep me warm if it was cool. Slowly mum also got the details of my time at the salon. She gave me tips on how to handle long nails, and looked carefully as I mentioned one or two of the things done to me, but what was hard was that she seemed positive about everything, making comments like "It is pretty" (the nose stud) "Long hair suits you" "Those nails look so elegant" and "I shall get you some nice ear rings for when the holes heal', I was not sure if she did secretly want this or if she was trying to be positive and look on the bright side. It was late when I finally went up to my room. There was another frightening truth about my situation waiting for me, my room had been robbed of every piece of clothing I might have worn as Alex, all that was left were the few items I had acquired over the past eighteen months. There was no knowing where my stuff was, what very obvious I would not be having any Alex time, I would be dressing as a woman fulltime. That had been made very clear. That night I slept in a nightie for the first time in months, the reason I told myself was to cover up the silicone attachments to my chest, but I still liked the feel of satin but I was not admitting to that just then. Somehow I was determined to hang onto my masculinity no matter how well hidden it was. My first day at work as Alexis was every bit as horrid as I feared. I had been dragged out of bed by mum who just told I had to go through with it, get it over with, were her words. I had to sort out very much longer hair, make up, dress and get some toast before leaving in my little hatchback. As I drove into the yard I could feel a few eyes watching me, then I took a few deep breaths before opening the door and they could have a full view of me in my dark grey suit, white blouse and black heels. Stepping out the car I focused on where I am going, miss the puddles, into the office, shut the door, and relax. I was in and out of sight, the relief was immense. I was wiping the mud of my shoes, something I never did as Alex, but heels never look right dirty, that was when the door opened. Dave walked in, a moment later his brother. "Good to see you Alexis, nothing much has changed except you can no longer sign cheques which you must have expected." "I am impressed" said John "You are actually very pretty, we did not believe the photos at first, but now, well let's say, if I did not know then I would never guess" "Please don't make this any harder than it already is, I feel so ashamed" "And so you should, maybe embarrassed, humiliated as well?" "Yes and a few more" "Good that is the point, we don't like being take for mugs" I ventured a question "For how long?" "Well that depends on a few things, good behaviour, showing remorse etc" "I have said I am sorry" "We know and have taken that into consideration" "How long?" "Well the courts would have given you over a year probably, there was someone a few weeks ago got three years" My blood was leaving me again. "So we thought eighteen months, knock a couple off for you confessing, then if you behave and do a good job a few more months." I had hoped for a few weeks maybe a month. "Let us say a year if you are a good girl" "Dave, John, please this is so humiliating please ..... a full year, what about my mates my sport, my life will be ruined" "Well you should have thought about that before you helped yourself to our cash. You can always call the police if you don't like our justice" "Please" "Right Dave I think we are done here, I am off to the bank, you still seeing the solicitors" "Please, no, I shall do it" I fear I sounded a little hysterical at that time. "Sorry Alexis, that was nothing to do with you, we are buying some land, which is why we are seeing these folk. But it is nice to know you accept the punishment." I did not get much work done, no matter how hard I tried I would be interrupted by anyone who wanted to come and take a look under the pretence of asking for something or giving me something. I was ready for this and had my answers ready. "Yes, what can I do for you?" "Can I help you?" phrases worked well and I just avoided personal questions or comments. It was possibly the most stressful day of my life. Nearly all the staff came in to grope, but news soon spreads and delivery drivers were soon coming in on spurious errands. Eventually five o'clock came round and I could escape home. Mum was sympathetic once more and asked how it had gone. I told her it had been terrible, but she did not look shocked when I told her I was expected to stay as Alexis for a year. Her response was to say I was getting of lightly compared to prison which could have been a lot longer. The next day was much the same, just less interested visitors wanting to see the latest attraction. I got back into the work and tried to forget myself and concentrate on what I was doing. How I was dressed did not affect who I was, did it? But the skirt, heels, nails and long hair were constant reminders that I had dressed in more comfortable clothes a week before. Slowly my freak status faded, by the end of the first week I was able to get on with my job pretty much without being too embarrassed by unnecessary visitors or unhelpful remarks. I was also fed up with wearing the same suit all week, even if I did get to wear all the blouses and tops that went with it. So on the Saturday afternoon I did my first really girlie thing. I went shopping not because I needed to replace something, but because I wanted to get something nice to wear. I had to dip into my savings as I spent so much. A navy suit, three tops, navy boots, a green dress and jacket with matching heels. Some blue and green costume jewelry at my mum's prompting "Might as well do this properly" she offered, "They might know the truth at the yard, but outside why attract attention to yourself by not looking the part." I could see her logic and agreed to look as feminine as possible, which meant more handbags, a couple of scarves and a three quarter rain coat. Monday, Dave commented on the new suit and I told him I had been shopping, he smiled and suggested I was liking the situation more than I should. I informed him that he was wrong, I just needed clothes appropriate for the situation and if I was going to be this way for a year then I would need more than one outfit, even Jerry the labourer has three pairs of jeans. He just smiled and said "whatever you say Alexis. Can you get me the bank statement for last month" and that was it back to work. It was during this second week that Pete a less macho member of the staff came in to drop off some notes, lingered then said "Why did you start wearing a skirt?" "I don't want to talk about it" "Only the gossips can't make up their minds between you being one of those transsexuals or you have upset the bosses and this is their way of getting back at you" "What do you think Pete?" "Well I did not have you down as anything but straight, that girl I saw you with in town was a cracker, on the other hand if this is what happens if you piss off Dave and John I will not be crossing them any time soon." "What can I say, we all know they don't like to be crossed, but who knows I might not have been as straight as you all thought." I don't know why I did not admit to the stealing, Dave and John had made it clear they would not say anything I had to be the one who explained why I was going to be wearing a skirt, not them, which just made the situation a notch more difficult. A month later and I had not totally accepted the situation, more resigned myself to the position, I had bought a few more tops and would change into trousers when I got home and weekends were trouser time as well, even jeans and loose sweats. Nearly everyone is treating me as person by this time, pretty much like before, if they had something for me they dropped it off or picked up what they needed. I was doing my job and how I dressed caused little comment most of the time, sometimes I might get a "You look nice today" sort of thing, to which I would say as politely as possible "Thank you', hopefully avoiding any innuendo. I made a mistake though. I had to go in on a Saturday and decided I would be on my own so went in jeans and trainers. Maybe I thought I would not be seen or the weekends were my own time, I am not sure what I was thinking because the result was after couple of hours quietly getting on with the paperwork, Dave drove into the yard, something he rarely does on a weekend maybe he saw the gate open. Whatever he put his head round the door, said hello but I could tell he was not pleased. I found out how displeased when I got home at lunchtime. Dave was sat chatting with mum, his sister, there was an atmosphere and I soon found out what it was. Dave started "Sit down Alexis', I sat opposite them "I want to take issue with how you are dressed. I thought you understood the rules, you are to be dressed as a woman all the time. From what I saw this morning I am thinking you are trying to look androgynous, which will not do" "Many women wear what I am wearing" "We are not talking most women, we are talking about Alexis and not wishing to cover old ground, you were to wear skirts and heels, no mistaking you were to look like a woman. Got it?" "Yes, I shall bear it in mind, I just thought weekends were, well different" "Not if you are in the office, and really the meaning was it was to be fulltime" "Ok so I know now, I shall always wear a skirt when in the office" "I have also had Sadie call me. Apparently you have not made an appointment to have your treatments freshened up." "I was going to get round to it soon" "Soon is not good enough, she says the nails will need filling, the extensions need tightening even I can see your hair needs looking at, the long part is a shade lighter than the top." "I shall do it on Monday" "You most certainly shall. But I am not sure you are taking this as seriously as we feel you should" Mum was saying nothing and looking worried, which was not helping my confidence. "Sorry Dave I do realise why I am dressing as you wish, and I will do what you say" "That is good to hear, but" there was a pause "you have been not a good girl and seem to be thinking you can get away with not keeping yourself looking female" he looked at mum "Your mum I think is keeping out of this, but she is not saying no to what I am going to tell you now. On Monday you shall make an appointment with Sadie" "OK" I confirmed "You shall also contact this clinic" he pushed a card towards me "and make an appointment" I looked at the card, it was a clinic that did plastic surgery, the attractive woman on it made me think it was to enhance female attributes. "And you shall ask them how soon they can fit you in for breast enhancement" "What.........mum?" I was shocked. "Your mum tells me the fake ones Sadie gave you are no longer stuck on, and from what I can see you are rather flat compared to yesterday. So I feel it will bring you back into line. You will not be able to have a boy chest, and I feel it is a good way to remind you that this is not to be an easy option. You are meant to look like a girl all the time, that was the deal, I will not be taken advantage off" "Mum" She spoke for the first time "I know you won't like it, but Dave does feel you are not doing this properly. I don't want to get involved but I can see both sides" "So Alexis, Monday?" "You really want me to have breast implants" "Yes, and then I expect to see some cleavage, something a young woman is normally not shy about showing" "Dave!" "The reason for you being in this situation has not gone away, so stop whinging or else I will take that as not wishing to take your punishment." He got up and left without anyone saying another word. Mum broke the silence he left "Now you see why I don't have much to do with them, both bullies, used to getting their own way. I did try to warn you when they offered you the job, but I also hoped they had mellowed." I looked at her thinking she was going to help me "But you did steal off them, you did agree to this unusual punishment, and it was you who broke that agreement. I can see his point even if the reaction is a bit over the top." "But mum, breasts are not like hair that can be trimmed in twelve months" "No but they can be removed. And besides I am getting to like having a daughter around all the time, a real bust would stop you being flat chested" "So you want me to have a chest" "Not really, but given the situation you will just have to get used to it my dear." I spent a weekend worrying about Monday and trying to think of some way that this latest event could be limited. I felt I had to appear willing but would ask for the smallest inserts, an A cup I thought should get round my fears. Anyway I ended up at Sadie's on Tuesday having my hair done, nails filled and my eyebrows waxed. But it was the Friday appointment that was the hardest, a Dr Nichols asked me some questions to which I told him I was transsexual, could hardly admit that I was doing this because my uncles had told me too. Then he took some photos of my bare chest, looked at the silicones I had in my bra, and then took some measurements. And suggested a C cup, I said smaller would do, he told me I should think about it before dismissing his suggestion, and to come back the following week when he has my blood tests and photos done. So a week later I was in his office once more, everything was ok, but he did think I should have a larger insert, I agreed to a B, then he told me there was a cancellation that week if I could make it. I rang Dave who told me the office would survive without me and I should accept. It all happened very quickly, one day I had a flat chest the next I have bandages and a sore ribcage. They looked huge but I thought it was the bandages and swelling. A week later I got see the new me, still bruised and a little sore, and still big. I asked the nurse if they would go down at all, "A little" she told me. No way were they size B. Dr Nichols confirmed this the next time I saw him, turns out John has some sort of hold over him and when I asked for small, John was told and the result was I had been told to have a cleavage and this size would do that, not an A cup. A day later I was told everything was fine with the healing process and I should be ok to go back to work, and given some tablets to help with the pain and others to help the body deal with the breasts, which I was told I would need to take for several months maybe a year. No one noticed the change in my chest size and if anyone asked where I had been, I just said I had been to see a doctor implying I was not well, which helped them understand why I was moving awkwardly. A rather nice side issue to come out of this was going and buying new bras, satin were soft and comfortable, so I ended up with several nice ones which if I had seen on a girl would have looked very nice, on me I was not so sure. By the time I had clocked up three months as Alexis I had to admit that I was quite at ease with the situation, I felt no one took any notice of me at work anymore, people outside who did not know my past just took me for a woman which made life easier. The shower experience of washing my breasts was quite sensual at times, but for reasons that puzzled me I had stopped having erections and I was thinking of myself as Alexis the woman far more frequently, which was good as a manly bump was to be avoided at all times especially when out and about. And with winter coming I actually wanted to go shopping and look for something nice to keep me warm and look good. I got a nice blue wool skirt a bit below the knee to help ward off the draughts, a cream knitted top and my boots I felt was a good start. The skirt was not straight but I soon got used to having the wider hem and stopped getting it caught on things that seemed to just jump out and trap me in my crowded office. I had also without prompting been back to see Sadie twice. The first time to get the nails filled and trimmed, I even got complimented on the quality of my own colouring which I was doing every week or when they got chipped. The second time was to have the extensions removed, they had gone frizzy as they do apparently, so I had a choice of redoing them or having my own hair styled. I asked for advice and they suggested that as my hair was well below my ears why not have a soft perm, this would bring the neck up and with long ear rings would look great. Not quite knowing what they were talking about I agreed. After what seemed like an age reading Cosmo magazines and having products put on my head I emerged with a wavy style parted at the right and being what mum called a short bob to me seemed quite nice, and like Sadie had suggested the hung ear rings below the bottom which looked good. It might not have been long but I liked it and felt sure it was feminine enough for Dave and John, if not I could always tell them it was Sadie's choice which should get me out of trouble. I was also beginning to see a change in my own attitudes. When I originally dressed in the unfounded hope that it would disguise my activities I wore clothes to look female, but when I looked for ear rings I felt I was making my choice so I not only looked female, but because they would make me feel feminine. I also found myself buying clothes not necessarily for need but to look good. As Alex I had a limited variety of work stuff, casual and best. As Alexis I had found myself buying something just because it looked nice without a specific thought as to when I might wear it. I also bought tops which fitted better, I had gone for loose fit, but with my third pay as Alexis I bought a blouse that virtually contoured around my chest so well the lace pattern on my bra was visible, I even thought it looked sexy and wondered how others would see it. Now that was shift of attitude. It was at about the third month that those around me seemed to just accept me as Alexis. Most of my football mates were fair weather mates and never made contact when I stopped turning up. The gym was the same, people I thought were mates avoided me, except for a few. Mark who did football and the gym at first called and after meeting Alexis did not call for ages, but slowly a few texts "How are you" became calls until he came to the house and after an awkward start we got chatting as if nothing had changed. It was Mark who persuaded me to go to a new gym as Alexis, pay per session, and just let them decide which changing room they directed me too. I went with a new set of kit which included a skort which was basically tight shorts with a short skirt on top, hopefully it would hide my extra bump. I paid and was given a woman's locker key and given instruction on what to do. Anything but the bike I reckoned, sitting on a narrow seat with my bits tucked between my legs could hurt. With the first session done I started to go a couple of times a week, I got trim again but I also got used to seeing naked women, I never showered in public for obvious reasons and would use a cubicle but plenty of women would undress in the communal areas and I got the full eyeful, what was different was that I never got a twitch from my little thingy, I knew I should find it a turn on, but I did not. It felt like when I had been in the showers as a man, I would look at the other blokes but only to compare how hairy, how muscled and how big the thingy, now in the women's I was doing the same, comparing their tits to mine, the skin tone and looking where the white lines were. I did wonder how I would react if I saw a naked man sometime around then, but dismissed it as silly. Another friend to get over my new image was Pete from work, we had sometimes gone to gigs together after bumping into each other a couple of years before at the Apollo, but he had kept his distance until one day he dropped by the office to give me some paperwork. He also told me he had a spare ticket for a band I had not heard of, and asked if I wanted to go, "with him" I asked, "as mates" he confirmed. And so that weekend I went out for my first social outing since becoming Alexis, I wore a long turquoise maxi dress just in case I was being set up and did my make up better than work and meet Pete there. We had a great time as mates, like men and women can, I had done it before as Alex so why not as Alexis. I thanked Pete but was not sure how to, girls might have given me a cheek kiss in the past but that seemed inappropriate between me and Pete, so I bought him a drink and told him how much I appreciated what he had done. So as December approached I had managed to escape the limits of my own nerves. I had been out with mum quite a bit, shopping mostly but meals and cinema like before, but I was also going to the gym on my own after a few times with Mark. And I had been to a couple of music gigs with Pete, pretty much like I we used to before I became Alexis. I even started to make friends with some women at the gym who did not know my past, and Pete passed me off as a new friend, no point making me a topic of conversation again was his logic, and it worked. I even enjoyed buying more kit for the gym, lycra was very flattering up top but looser around the bum was better, and there is so much colour choice, I soon had a nice collection. This confidence I was finding when out in public was of help when Christmas came round. My gran always had us round for dinner, sometimes her sons would come as well, and this year she had everyone, no holidays or going to the in laws. She was not thick, my gran and knew her sons better than they knew themselves and cornered me to ask why I had let them push me into this. I asked how much she knew, which was clearly enough to know I had crossed them, she advised me not to let them push me around, I assured her I knew what I was doing and we had sorted out things and I knew how far they could push me. Which was a bit of a lie as they could have made my life even worse if they chose. But she did make a big thing of telling me how nice I looked in my turquoise maxi. My aunts were second wives and would be best described as trophy dolls, if the money ever stopped for clothes and stylists they would be off was the impression mum and I had. This was not dispelled by them telling me I looked fantastic and then suggesting I go to this salon or have this treatment, what was weird was they gave mum si