Kindred Spirits
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Kindred Spirit
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It would be a critical year in Charlie's life. At times like these a
true friend can mean all the difference in the world. Donald was just
such a friend...
---------------
Charlie was just lying there. He had just received one hell of a
beating by Eddy Dwyer, most affectionately known as the class bully.
Charlie thought... no, hoped, that things would be different. He was
starting middle school in a fresh new school district and was hoping his
past wouldn't catch up with him. Charlie was transgendered, and no
matter where he went people found out, and gave him hell for it. He was
hoping he could hide it in this school, or at least find some support.
Here it was the first day of school, and as he laid there nursing a
swollen lip; he feared he had found neither.
He had worn his favorite panties to school today. As much as he tried
to outwardly hide his inner girl and look and act every part the boy, he
still wore his panties. They were the one thing that kept him grounded
in who he really was. They were his one and only source of sanity,
stability and strength.
School was out for the day, and Eddy had come up to welcome Charlie to
the new school in the usual way, a good old fashioned wedgie. But when
he got a handful of panties, it was game on. One to the gut, one to the
chops, and after Charlie crumpled to the ground, a good swift to the
ribs for good measure. "Fucking faggot!" Eddy said and then kicked him
one more time for good measure before thankfully heading off.
"Are you okay?"
Charlie looked up and saw an older boy smiling at him. "Yea", he said,
"I think I'll just sit here and bleed for a few minutes though." The
older boy said, "Okay, glad you're okay", and sat in the grass next to
Charlie. "Donald's the name, and you would be..."
"Charlie's the name, and right now, falling down and bleeding is
apparently my game."
Donald said, "I admire your courage".
"Hah, what courage" Charlie replied, motioning to his swollen lip.
"I never had the strength of will to wear my panties to school" Donald
replied.
Charlie did not know what to say or how to respond. Had he for the
first time in his life ran into somebody who was not only kind and
sympathetic, but also a girl on the inside like himself?
Donald laughed a little. "Yea, I know how you feel".
"So you have an inner girl too", Charlie asked, almost in a whisper.
"Yea, something like that I guess."
And then Charlie started to cry. Donald had just pulled the cork on the
bottle of emotions that was Charlie. Charlie let it all out too.
Explained his inner conflict; wishing he was a girl with every fiber of
his being. Wanting so bad to let his inner girl out, but had to keep
her caged for fear of derision and persecution. Donald just sat there
and listened, allowing the smaller boy to let it all out.
Then Donald said, "Donna has always wanted to see the light of day, but
sadly it can never be."
"Why not", Charlie asked. Donald just sat there and shook his head and
said, "Let's just say I have made some bad decisions in life, and
because of them, Donna will never be." Charlie did not understand, but
Donald refused to elaborate further.
The boys talked a while longer. Finally, realizing it was getting late,
Charlie said he had to go home but asked Donald if he could come over.
Donald thanked him, but said he was restricted, and could not. Charlie
asked if he would see him at school the next day, and Donald answered,
"More than likely." And Charlie headed home.
Charlie got home, and came in the front door trying to be as quiet as
possible and go straight to his room. But his dad heard him, "Is that
you Charlie?"
"Yessir" he responded sheepishly.
"Little late aint we?"
"Yessir" he replied again, as he slowly walked into the living room.
His father was sitting there drinking a beer, and noticed Charlie's
swollen lip. "Fall down a flight of stairs did we" he said
sarcastically.
"No sir, somebody hit me."
"Well, little fairies do get beat up a lot" his father replied, and went
back to watching whatever it was he was watching on TV. His mother had
heard the conversation from the kitchen, but knew her place. She
continued to dice the carrots and the onions for the stew she was
preparing. She dared not contradict or question what her husband said.
Charlie slipped off to his room and cried.
The next day at school, Charlie was sitting under a tree having lunch by
himself when Donald came up and sat beside him. Donald asked him if he
was wearing his panties today. Charlie looked down dejectedly and said,
"No". Then Donald did something that Charlie did not expect. He
scolded Charlie. He said, "Don't let other people decide your life for
you. You will live to regret it like I did!" Charlie asked again for
Donald to elaborate, but once again, he met with a stone wall. Donald
would only say that Charlie had to stand up for himself, and be who he
was inside.
They chatted for the remainder of the lunch, and when the bell rang to
return to class they went their separate ways. As Charlie was heading
back to his class, he saw a large commotion across the quad. Asking
around he found out there was a freak accident. Eddy Dwyer had tripped
and fallen. Okay, so everyone trips and falls every now and then, but
we usually get back up and keep going. As it turned out, Eddy landed
very awkwardly and broke his arm really bad. Normally one's arm bends
at the elbow, Eddy's arm now bent in two places. Charlie just turned
and headed off to class smiling and thinking to himself, "Karma's a
bitch, aint it?"
The next day, Charlie wore his panties to school. And for the first
time in his life, he did so proudly. For once he did not feel shame for
his inner self. He so wanted to show off to Donald, but he did not see
Donald at school that day; or the next.
They did cross paths again though. As the school year went on, they ran
into each other on a regular basis; Donald making sure each time to find
the good in Charlie's soul and make an effort to build his strength and
confidence. And whenever Charlie hit a low point in his life, Donald
was always there to pick him back up. Charlie asked many times if they
could meet after school: Bowling, movies, hamburger, whatever. Each
time, Donald said he would really like to, but it wouldn't be permitted.
And Charlie learned to stand up for himself. One day in January his
father had slapped him, and slapped him hard. Charlie started to turn
and slink off to his room when he stopped. Stood straight and tall, and
turned and faced his father.
"Slap me again you son of a bitch" he said defiantly.
His father was so shocked at this that he dropped his beer. "What did
you just say to me?" He demanded.
Charlie just stood there and dug his heels in. "Slap me again and I
will call the police. They may not believe me the first time, or the
second time, but I bet on the third, fourth or fifth time they start to
come around. So go ahead, hit me. Oh, and another thing. I am not a
queer; I am not a faggot or a fairy. I am who I am dammit, so you
better start dealing with it; whether I am wearing a dress or Levi's
jeans. You can learn to accept me for who I am, or grow old and die a
bitter old man. Your choice."
And with that Charlie proudly marched off to his room leaving his dad
standing there in shock. As he walked down the hall to his room he
could swear he could hear clapping coming from the kitchen.
Life at home slowly improved after that. With Donald's constant support
and encouragement, he started to stand up to his father on a regular
basis and because if this, his mother started to stand up for herself
too.
And then there was the day the police came. Charlie did not have to
call them, his mother had. His mom and dad had an argument, and he hit
her. She locked herself in the bedroom and called the police.
Something she would never had considered doing only six months earlier.
When Charlie's father was hauled off in handcuffs his mom turned to
Charlie and said, "Let's celebrate by going out and buying you your
first dress". Charlie was elated.
When Charlie's father was allowed to return home, both his wife and son
were wearing dresses. He went into a rage, and by the time it was over
he was in jail again. This time he was there to stay for quite a bit
longer, and with a restraining order to boot.
At school, things were improving as well. Since Charlie was living and
acting with conviction and confidence (thanks to Donald), people were
becoming more receptive and even accepting of him. Eddy on the other
hand always seemed to have it in for Charlie, but never really had a
chance to get close enough to hurt him as he had on the first day of
school. Eddy as it turned out had a string of bad luck like nobody had
ever seen before. First the broken arm, no sooner had that healed that
he broke his ankle stepping in a pothole. After that, a branch from a
tree fell on him and broke his collar bone. Eddy just seemed to have
enough problems of his own that kept him from messing with or even
thinking about Charlie.
By the end of the school year, things had improved considerably for
Charlie. Finally in the last week of school, Charlie was sitting under
his favorite tree, but could not help but feeling a bit depressed.
"What's gotcha down?" Came a familiar voice. And Donald sat down next
to Charlie.
Charlie looked at Donald and said, "I won't be back next year. With dad
in jail, we're going to live closer to grandma."
"I'll miss you" Donald said.
"But there is a silver lining, in a way." Mom said I could start
transitioning over the summer, and might even be able to start wearing
skirts to school next year!" This Charlie said with a great bit of
cheerfulness in his voice.
"I can't begin to say how happy I am for you" Donald replied happily.
Charlie asked if they could stay in touch, but again as always Donald
just said he couldn't. Frustrated, Charlie raised his voice and asked,
"WHY! You have taught me to grow beyond myself. You have shown me I
can break free of things that hold me back, and be myself. Yet you are
always saying you cannot do the same. What is it that keeps you from
living your own life?"
For the first time, Donald looked truly sad; then said one word, "Life".
Charlie said the cryptic answers weren't going to cut it anymore, and
demanded a real answer for a change.
Donald said nothing but got up and started walking, and Charlie followed
to the front of the school. There he stopped at a huge maple tree that
was planted the day the school was opened. Standing under the tree
Donald said, "I was much like you when I went to school here. But
unlike you, I kept Donna inside me never allowing her out for fear of
the unknown. And such a fear if left unchecked, starts to eat away at
you. It gnaws away at your self-confidence and your self-worth. I fell
into that pit and just kept falling until I felt I would fall forever.
And so it was that on Halloween night in 1982 while others were out
eating candy, I sat below this tree chewing all the pills I could
swallow."
"It is true that if a spirit has yet to complete their life's mission,
that they cannot be at peace until that mission has been completed. I
was to become Donna, so I must remain until I can pass over as Donna.
And since this is where I ended my journey, this is where I must remain,
and cannot leave."
Donald then started to walk back into the school, stopped and said one
last thing to Charlie. "I meant it when I said I was happy for you. I
hope I helped you towards a long happy life. I hope the girl in you
gets to come out to stay some day. And most of all, I hope you will
never suffer the same fate as I have."
And Donald walked back into the school.
Charlie tried to follow, but Donald was gone; Charlie never saw him
again.
Epilogue:
Six years later, a pretty young lady knelt by a large maple tree in
front of her old school. Charlie placed a dozen roses at the base of
the tree.
"Donald... Donna... I don't know if you can hear me, but I need to speak
my peace. You brought me back from the precipice overlooking a very
dark place. You guided and let the true Charlie breathe. Because of
you my inner girl did in fact come out, and was able to thrive. Six
months ago I became a complete woman thanks in every way to what you did
for me. I do not know how the inner working of the cosmos works, but if
doing for someone else that which should have been completed in your own
lifetime counts for anything; then I hope in no small way that your soul
is allowed to be at peace."
"Thank you for being my friend."
Dani
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