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Don and Dexter I got up without the alarm clock, as I usually do. Something just tells me when it's time; maybe the singing of the birds. Out beyond our driveway the sky was turning a lemon chiffon color, although I could not yet see the sun. Wednesday. How amazing to realize that I had only been here one week so far; yet so many things had happened! I sat up and stretched my arms as high as they could go. It was nice to smell the world, now that I did not have to lock the windows for awhile. Maybe I should call the police station today and find out if or when those nasty pool guys were getting out on bail; I would have to lock our windows back up then. Dum de dum dum, humming in the shower, a long slow warm shower, clean all over, it feels so good. I had a loofah now which I carefully rubbed over the rough spots on my elbows and knees and ankles. My chest is a little itchy though; maybe I should call that shop in the plaza by the mall and find out how soon I have to remove these prosthesis things. Too bad, they have really come to feel like part of me. Even after all the hard treatment Monday night, you can still just barely see any seam around the edges, and only if you look real close. Good thing I remembered my shower cap; these hair extensions are not supposed to get wet yet. How much longer must I wait to shampoo them? I'll have to check the paper that Jackie and Jill gave me. Swimming too, I had looked forward to swimming with Zach this weekend once his school was over. When I had been at the mall on Monday getting my hair and nails and wardrobe and makeup and chest all fixed up, I had been so concerned about that, about swimming with Zach. The swimsuits I got had to match my special silicone panties which I would wear underneath, so I could have a decent swimsuit figure. Now I was more nervous or anxious than excited. Those pool guys pawing over me, assaulting me really, they had somehow changed my feelings about Zach, which was totally unfair. I would have to keep reminding myself that Zach had always been kind to me, he'd been my first friend here, and deserved kindness back from me. Out of the shower, toweling off, I remembered not to rub too vigorously the way I used to. Be gentle to your skin, pat it dry all over. I applied some toner and let it soak in, and then came the moisturizer. I loved its oriental smell. Mom's deodorant came next; I was not borrowing anything that belonged to Sis any more, so I did not have to feel guilty about that, but I was still borrowing Mom's deodorant because mine was for guys. Probably that little drugstore near the neighborhood Italian restaurant where Maria worked would have something I liked, I could take my bike (well, my sister's bike, that was something I did still borrow) down there and explore. My fingers scrunched my new hair around as I worked in the special conditioner that the salon girls had given me. At least it smelled good, although my hair was starting to feel kind of gunked up. I checked my nails; they looked perfect. Long but not too glamorous; fairly natural but well cared for. I was careful to dry my hands really well because no water should be allowed to get between them and my real nails. This might be a good time to trim and buff my toenails, and give them a coat of something or other. I did not fuss too much with them, just an overall application of something pearly. Sis used to put decals on her toenails, but I was not imitating Sis any more. I went to attend to my ears, but we were all out of cotton swabs. The piercing guy had warned me to be careful about infection. Maybe I'd need to make a shopping list for that trip to the drugstore. My brows still looked the way they should, well arched and elegant, and not too bushy. I followed the routine I had been taught at that big store in the mall, with foundation, powder and some subtle bronzer, three tones of eyes shadow, light and sparkly near my brow, shadowy with mica glitter near my eyes, and smudged out in little wings beyond the edges, making my eyes look wider and bigger. Some dark liner with a little glitter in it too, and more of that tricky mascara that was so good about adding volume but also good about getting clumpy. I also added just a little mascara on the outer third of my lower lashes. Pink pencil inside my lower lids, I do like how that changed me without being obvious, I just looked happier and friendlier. Some lighter color on my cheeks- smile now, make those apple shapes!- and then the conditioner and top coat on my lips. The lip pencil defied me, I could not seem to apply it backwards in the mirror without messing up, so I just didn't bother with it. Now it was time for the magic panties. I liked this part. Squirm into them, they were snug even for as skinny as I am, and tug them into position, making my front all smooth and the rest of me fuller and more attractive. Now for a look in the mirror. There she stood, the new girl in town, no longer a copy of her big sister, but nothing like a scrawny little boy either. Her dark hair was nicely styled, she had a pleasant figure without looking like a bimbo. Her face said she was many things, attentive to her looks without overdoing it, friendly, healthy, fifteen or sixteen years old. I winked at her mischievously, and she winked back. .....Just for fun I stayed naked while I made breakfast. Poached eggs take time but they are so worth it. Just be careful not to get hot water on your bare skin! As I mopped up the yolk with some English muffin I mused: Was I really naked? Or was I clothed in a clever disguise of nakedness? I tossed the question around in my mind without coming to an answer. I looked up at the kitchen clock; it was still way too early to go to the drugstore. Maybe I could call them up and they would have a message about what their hours were? So I tried to look them up but I could not clearly remember the name of the place so I had to go by the name of the street, which fortunately I did remember. Let's see, there were two drugstores on that street, one was a low number, that was probably downtown where the numbering system starts, yes, it was for a pharmacy chain but what I wanted was just a local store. Okay now, here was a much higher number on that street. No wonder I could not remember the name! It was all consonants. I am not kidding, I had no idea how to pronounce it even. But when I called up, a recording of a pleasant sounding woman gave the name so that I could hear it spoken properly. As I had figured, they opened up at ten. What to do with myself until then? I did not like just sitting around. I could train. It was still cool enough out for that. Was it safe? What if the bad guys were already out on bail? I had better call the police station and find out. They were there every hour of the day, so somebody would be able to talk with me. "Hello, police. If this is an emergency, please call 911." "Oh no, it's not really an emergency, I was just involved in an incident Monday night and wondered what was up with the burglar guys." "Ah, you must be Dawn Symonds, right? We did have to notify your mom, you realize; I'm afraid she was pretty upset. Of course it would have been quite a shock to her. How are you doing? Are you handling it okay? No nightmares, withdrawal or anything?" Should I tell her how I had turned down Zach? "Well, there was this new friend who asked me to go out and I turned him down just because I suddenly felt uncomfortable around guys, is that what you mean, something like that? I am sleeping all right, though." "Yes, that is not unusual, although I am sorry to hear it. We do have a woman's crisis counselor here if you ever want to come in and talk." "Thank you, that sounds like something I may want to do. I suppose she or he would be there during regular office hours?" "She is always available for victims, any time, but yes she does keep regular hours as well, eight to five." "Maybe I will talk about it with my mom and then probably I will be in later in the week?" "Great. And as for the burglars who assaulted you, their hearing for preliminary arraignment comes this Friday, day after tomorrow, at ten. We would appreciate it if you could be there for formal identification into the record. They will be able to be released or remanded then, depending on what the magistrate says." I felt cold inside. I never wanted to see those guys again, but it was necessary, I had to put them away if I could. "I will be there," I promised. "So for now they are still locked up?" "Yes, because of the seriousness of the offense and the flight risk they are detained for now, pending the arraignment." "Thank you for everything you are doing. Maybe one reason I can still sleep well at night is because I feel safe knowing that you all are working so hard on this." She seemed to appreciate me saying that, so we chatted another minute or two until another call came in and I said good-bye. At least I could sleep with the windows open for two more nights. I sat there at the table with the phone in my hand, staring out the window at our yard. It had looked fine when we moved in but now it was shaggy. Of course, it was prime grass growing season here. I decided to make myself useful by mowing instead of training. Mowing is not an occasion for showing off your fashion style. I chose green jeans, hoping the grass stains would not show. For a top I picked out a gauzy peasant style. It had a boat neck and was gathered under the bust; the sleeves were loose and flowing. It was a natural unbleached cotton material. The gauze would help me stay cool, I hoped, but might get stuck in the machinery so I would need to be careful. I wore long socks with some old sneakers Sis had left, no use getting new things soiled. The socks would protect my ankles from getting nicked by flying blades of grass. That was the plan. Back home I had been the one who mowed the yard, but it had been much smaller than this one. Still, I knew how to do this chore. Take the machine out into the yard, tighten the gas cap, tip it over and clean out all the old grass. Check to see if motor oil should be mixed in with the gas, some older models still require mixing. Nope, there's a separate oil filler place. Okay then, fill her up, check the spark attachment, wiggle it a little to make sure of a good contact, I don't suppose there was a starter button? No such luck, I would have to pull the cord myself. Sigh. Here was one time when I wished I were heavier, I never had enough weight to give a good hard tug. But it started up on the first pull! I took this as a good omen, and started off going all around the perimeter of our yard, so that the clippings would fly into the other grass and not out onto the walk. It would be easier if there was a mulcher attachment, but I had not seen any. Mowing can be really relaxing, it gives you a chance to mull things over. Besides, I just like being outdoors. I saw a bird fly to its nest in one of our trees. Were there babies in there? In a far corner I glimpsed a bunny hopping around. Cute! I should take some pictures, there could be a nice album just of images from around here. I could make it personal by adding the forest preserve, the horseshoe pit, the Italian restaurant, even the bus terminal. The horseshoes reminded me of Zach. I should really call him up and apologize for my bad mood yesterday. It would be hard for me to go over those events again, but he should hear about the break in, maybe it would help him understand what I was going through. Watch out! I nearly ran into a sprinkler. What a pain. Why had the sprinklers not been running on these hot days? The owners must have turned them off so as not to waste water, which was sensible I guess. I had no idea how to turn them on however, so they were only a lawnmowing obstacle right now. I was maybe half done by now. Whoa, this lawn was huge! They should really have a riding mower. Maybe they did have one but took it with them, such things were not necessarily included in the sale of a home. Actually, it was kind of them to just leave this older push mower for us. What time was it getting to be, maybe ten? The sun was well up over the trees by now. The drugstore would be open. I absentmindedly practiced looking like the bunny, wiggling my nose and twitching my ears. Or was I twitching my nose and wiggling my ears? I giggled at the silliness of it all. "Ah, excuse me miss?" "Yipe!" I jumped up, and the mower died. It had one of those "dead man" switch things that make it shut off if you are not grabbing the handle. There behind me was a strange guy! Oh no, not again. I looked in our driveway and sure enough, there was a van with the name of a pool and yard care place on it. The guy looked decent enough, though. He was smiling nervously. "Your mom said she had not been able to warn you we were coming; she said to tell you her high school mascot was a beaver. That would let you know we were legitimate, because otherwise we wouldn't know that." Hmm, that sounded reasonable enough. Then I realized that I had not been expecting company. So I had not bothered putting on a bra, since it would add unnecessary heat. And I was wearing a gauze top! I snuck a quick glance down at my front, hopeful that I had not shown too much. The top was at least loose fitting, more or less; maybe I was safe. "How can I help you?" "Can you let us into the shed by the pool? It's locked." "Sorry, I padlocked it in a hurry after what happened Monday night, I guess Mom told you?" He nodded. "So I don't know the combination or anything; you'll just have to cut it off. I'll replace it later." "All right, we have tools for that, but I will need you to sign an authorization for it, we don't want to get into trouble." So I signed my name, Dawn. That was my name at the police department too. Was I working myself into deeper and deeper problems? How could I straighten out this name thing, legally? The guy just pocketed the authorization and they went to work. It looked like there were three of them, just like that other crew. I heard them cut off the lock, and mess around in the shed. "Here's the pool chemicals" somebody said. "Here's the skimming net" said somebody else. "Hey, there are two handles here, which one should I turn?" "Dunno, best just try them both." They seemed more intelligent and nice than the other guys, and they were hard workers. Sploosh! The lawn sprinkler sprang into life, right beside me! I was soaked! ....."Sorry miss, we didn't know; we'll turn it off right away." As I was running into the house I could not help noticing them looking at me. The youngest off them was blushing! The other guys were teasing him. Looking down, I saw that my braless top was plastered to my body. I could feel my cheeks burning furiously, but the first thing I did, and I realize this sounds silly or stupid or both, but before I even changed my top I called over to Jackie and Jill's salon and asked them if the water had damaged my new hair, and what I could do to remedy it. "Fear not, darlin'," drawled Jackie. "As long as you didn't shampoo or do any rubbing you should be okay. Just gently pat it dry." "How much longer will I need to be careful like this?" "As far as getting it wet? You should be able to have a nice shampoo Friday afternoon. But you should never rub your hair, not even then. Be gentle, and our hair will treat you well." "Thanks, Jackie," I said. "Thanks for being patient with me." "No problem honey; you're not the only lady who's ever had hair anxiety, you know." So I patted my hair and the rest of me dry, and put on a plain cotton bra and an opaque sleeveless denim top. I had to finish mowing, or I would have stayed inside rather than face those smirking guys again, but out I went. .....As soon as I got out there, the leader of the crew who had talked to me first came over. He said "M'am, I'm sorry if we caused you any embarrassment. It was unintentional. We're all done now; can we show you how to keep up your own pool maintenance?" So he led me over to the pool and showed me the intake and the drain and the filters and explained about testing the water and what chemicals to put in and so on, and about skimming the bugs and leaves off once a day. He also gave me a little pamphlet about it. That makes about five or six printouts I have to help me care for things, but the others are about my body, hair and chest and nails and makeup. "Thank you, sir. No apology needed," is all I said. As the crew got into the van, I saw the youngest guy getting kidded again by the other man; the poor kid's face was as red as a beet. I was not at all upset, it was so different, the Monday guys were rude and lecherous, but this was just an innocent mistake, his blushing proved it. I managed to get the yard finished before it got too hot. My unexpected sprinkler shower had helped cool me off as well. I figured I would just sweep the grass off the walk now, and rake up and bag the rest of the clippings after the sun went down. .....As soon as I had finished sweeping I hopped on my bike, my sister's bike, and went down the hill. "Hello, is this the Brvnk pharmacy?" I had pronounced it properly, I was glad to discover. The clerk and pharmacist beamed at me, maybe they were family and appreciated somebody getting their name right. They said they had not seen me there before, was I visiting, and I said no, we had moved in a few blocks up the hill just last week. So that gave us an excuse to chat a little about the city and the neighborhood and the hot weather and everything. They had a section for cards, mostly graduation, but some were for Father's Day. It made me a little sad to see those cards, to imagine people exchanging them. I never really remembered my dad, just some of the way he smelled and felt, nothing more. But it always felt like an empty hole was there in the middle of my life. I got cotton swabs, I could use them for makeup touchups as well as for my ears. Hydrogen peroxide was next, it was a must for those ears. This new look took a lot of upkeep, at least at first. Just on an impulse I got a box of feminine napkins. It felt weird, but at the same time I really wanted to get into this role, and so it would be merely natural and expected if a couple of these were to be found in my purse. .....What was I forgetting? Oh, deodorant. I found one that said "feminine deodorant" but it turned out to be a specialized product for our private parts, and I did not feel I needed that. Eventually I found that most of the brands had versions for women as well as men. I looked at the brand I had been using, but their woman's version was way too flowery. I did not want my new oleander scent to have to compete with my armpits. Finally I found one that was all natural and not too heavy smelling. Fortunately they had a few padlocks with other school supplies, even though school was over. Maybe that's because they were a small store and did not have much turnover? So I got one with a five digit combination and used the first five numbers of my birthday. .....There was a small neighborhood grocery nearby, this area was really like a little village unto itself, I liked it, the way it all felt. I picked up some supplies for tonight's dinner with Emily, and some other basics. But when I got back home there was a message on our phone. Emily wanted me to call her back. ....."Dawn, I am so looking forward to dinner at your place, but can I get a rain check until tomorrow? You haven't started preparing anything yet, I hope? See, the school staff has been pressuring all the families to come to tonight's awards celebration, where kids get plaques and ribbons for things they have done, and there will be food booths and some bands and a comedian and even a magician, plus some kids are putting on a comic skit lampooning the teachers. It looks like most of the families in town who have students will be there, and my folks really want to go. But if this puts a burden on you, if you have already made preparations for dinner, then I will just come over to your place anyway." She was being nice about it, I did not feel like she was dumping me or anything. So I just told her it was fine, that I had not started cooking anything yet and we could just have our meal Thursday night. "I'll bet you were going to get an award yourself, or else your parents would not be so eager to attend," I speculated. Emily admitted she was getting two awards, one for sports and another for poetry. What a complex and interesting person she was. And she would ignore this praise just to be with me, if I insisted. "Please do go, it sounds like a great time. If I had any family here, I would go too," I said, feeling kind of lonesome. ....."I knew you would be understanding," Emily replied. "Tomorrow evening then, for sure. See ya!" Hmm. Well that did throw a monkey wrench into my personal plans. The phone rang again! What now? "Hi Dawn, this is Ann Stuart, you remember, Zach's mom? We have been getting calls all day from teachers and professional staff urging us to come to this awards celebration at the school tonight, and Zach is going to be honored for tutoring and other service work ("what a cool guy, so thoughtful and helpful" I thought) so we would really like to be there, but we can't take Index, it's past his bedtime. The other sitters we know are all going to be there too. You were so great with him Sunday, I was amazed at how you were able to settle him down, he has talked every day about you. Could you...I could fix up something for you both, but could you come over and just watch him and put him to bed? He'd love it, and it would be a big help to us." I told her I had already heard about this event and I completely understood and would love to sit with Dexter. Don't worry about supper, I have some ingredients he can help me cook, no don't worry it will be completely safe, just fun. It will be part of my lesson plan, a way to entertain and occupy him and also show him an aspect of family life that may be new to him. So she would come over at five. Good, I had a new agenda for my time, and it sounded like fun. I really did love the little guy, I remember how he had snuggled his warm little body up against mine and fallen asleep after the hectic events of Sunday evening. I got a leftover shopping bag and put into it the ingredients I would need for tonight's dinner. Dexter was going to begin his career as a master chef! I grinned to myself as I made the preparations. Hmm, better change my outfit too, this one had grass stains and might smell a little sweaty. I freshened up, and changed into a sundress and sandals. .....I was completely ready way ahead of time. I was nervous. It was almost like I was going out on a date- with a two year old! Or was he three now? Whatever, he was really little, and he needed me. Before Mrs. Stuart came, I called Mom. She was going to call me every night now, since the attempted burglary, and would be calling again before I got home from babysitting. I told her (her answering machine) about the schedule change, and said I would call her myself later. If she would rather not wait up for me, she could leave a message on our own phone here. I recognized Mrs. Stuart's van right away. I had only seen it three times, but it already looked like an old friend. I swung my bag of supplies onto the seat with me. "Whoa there, are you going to feed a whole army?" she laughed. "Nope, some of this is craft stuff. No sharp edges or anything. Do you have a family room where you won't mind if we make a little mess?" "Oh yes, this house had a room for everything. I'll provide some newspapers if you want, to catch any paint or glue or whatnot." "That's a great idea, thanks! Yes we may use a little white paste, but it should clean up easily." When we got to their big old house Zach was waiting for me at the door. "We've got to go, but later before you go home can we have a few minutes to talk together?" he asked. Aww, I knew I had hurt his feelings with my curt reaction the other day. "Sure, yes, I'd love to," I said, and I meant it. When Dexter saw me he whooped and ran right up to me. He tried to jump into my arms but his jumps were not very athletic. I caught him in midair though, and swung hum around. Most kids enjoy that, as long as you are careful with them. He giggled and I did too. Putting him down gently I said "Tonight I would like to make hats together, and then make dinner together." "I like hats," Dexter nodded. Good! I had been counting on that. His mom and dad gave him a hug, and she had a hug for me too. "Do you want us to bring you anything?" "Oh, all I would really like would be to see any pictures you take of Zach getting his awards," I looked at him as I said it. He grinned back at me; good. We were still friends. As the three of them left, I turned to my charge. "So Dexter, what kind of hat would you like to wear first?" "Sailor hat!" "Hm, I think I remember how to make something like that out of newspaper. Can you show me what shape the hat would be?" He gestured with both hands, but I was glad I already had an idea in my mind for a pattern because his gestures were not much help. They were enthusiastic but he was waving his arms all over the place. "All right then, I will try to make one for me, and if you like it then we can make one for you, okay?" He nodded in his emphatic way, such a firm nod that it would give me a headache to imitate it. I got out some of the newspaper Mrs. Stuart had given us, and started folding it. Dexter was intensely curious, I sure hoped I did not mess up. "I don't see any hat there," he fussed. "Oh but it is not finished. Part of the fun is to watch something that starts off looking strange suddenly turn into just the thing you were looking for. Now watch!" And I folded some ends up to make a brim around the folded up peaked triangle I had made, and there it was. It looked a little bit like a sailboat with one large sail, but it had a turned up brim and would fit on my head. Well, sort of. I tugged and pushed and finally got it on. I was not used to having so much hair on my head, I had failed to make allowances! Dexter laughed and laughed at my efforts. "Okay Mister Funnypants! Now it's your turn!" We were not doing any cutting so he was perfectly safe. I took his hands in mine and guided him through each step. All I could think of was Zach holding my hand and forearm and showing me how to throw a horseshoe. I tried to use tape and paper clips and no glue, it would not be good to attach the hat to his head too permanently. Now it was my turn to chuckle; his hat came way down over his eyes! But we just wadded up another newspaper and stuffed it inside and soon we were looking like a pair of admirals on the high seas. "Fine weather for a sail, eh Admiral?" I asked, as I strolled around with my hands behind my back, as if I were pacing the poopdeck. ....."Arr!" growled Dexter. "Arr?" I asked. "Arrr, I'm a pirate!" I gasped. "Oh no, help! You didn't warn me! I thought you were a friendly Admiral!" "Arrr!" "What are you going to do with me, Mister Pirate?" "Walk the plank!" he crowed, waving an imaginary sword. He must have been watching some pirate movie. So I let him use tape to tie my hands behind my back. This is a bad idea for most babysitters because it gives the kid a distinct tactical advantage over you, but I trusted the little guy. He poked his finger into the small of my back as if it were a knife. "Walk the plank!" he commanded. I walked timidly in a straight link, one foot in front of the other, and stopped. "This is the end of the plank," I explained. "Jump!" he ordered. I jumped up and down in one place. "No, jump inna water!" "What will happen to me if I do?" ....."Hm, I don' know, you just get wet?" .....So I jumped, and bounced down onto my bouncy bottom, with my hands still taped behind my back. I puffed out my cheeks and pursed my lips as if I were spouting water. "Glub! Glub! Help, I can't swim with my hands tied like this! Help, help!" Without hesitating, Dexter jumped in beside me and untied my hands. Now that's my kind of pirate, with a heart of gold. We swam around on the floor and splashed each other with invisible water and rode on the backs of invisible dolphins. When we were both pink cheeked and sweaty I called a break. "Whew! I think maybe it is time we tried out another kind of hat!" I said. "What kind of hat?" Dexter asked thoughtfully, his finger on his chin to show that he was thinking. "Well, tonight we are going to be Master Chefs and prepare an elegant restaurant meal, so we should wear fancy chefs' hats." So I taped together some white construction paper and made it into tube shapes, a wide tube for me and a narrower one for my young friend. I was not able to make the puffy top part you sometimes see, but they looked pretty good anyway. I had him look at himself in the mirror; he was suitably impressed (the hat did add eight inches to his stature!) and he held his head high. Mirrors are magical, they let us imagine who we might possibly be. I got out a stepstool for Dexter, and we found two big pots and a large bowl, plus a colander. I held each pot while he used the spray hose from the sink to fill them. Yes it was messy. No mess, no fun. I got out the jumbo hot dogs I had brought and found a table knife (no sharp edges). With my hand in his I helped him cut the hot dogs lengthwise about 2/3 to 3/4 of their length. Then we rotated them 90 degrees and did it again. "These will be octopuses" I explained; "The solid part is their head, and the dangly pieces are legs." "How many legs?" he asked. What a smart kid, he had a clue there could not be four legged octopuses. "There should be eight but we can only make four or they will be so skinny they will fall apart. So you and I will just have to pretend the other four." He accepted that. Pretending is perfectly natural for kids, and it is a great way to solve complex problems. I made sure he was well back from the stove and turned the heat on under one pot. Then I had him pour some salt into my hands, and I tossed it into the other pot and turned it on too. They both started boiling at the same time. I had him hand each dog, er, octopus, to me one at a time, and I dropped them into the first pot. "It is fun to splash water when you are a pirate," I explained, "but not when the water is really hot. We do not want to get burned." He nodded seriously. Then I got out my box of plain old spaghetti, my favorite, and had him hand the long skinny pieces to me. He tried hard; maybe half of the box actually got into the salted pot. Clean up could be part of our activity after dinner. "Now we set the timer. Do you know the number ten?" I was taking a chance here, I did not want to show him up. He shook his head sadly. "A one beside an"Oh", that is a ten," I explained, and pointed to the timer on the microwave (there was one on the stove but that area was too steamy now and I wanted him to be the one to set the time). So I pushed "minute timer" and lifted him up and had him push 1 and 0 . He watched the seconds tick off with fascination. "Let's be careful not to get too close to the stove, once I give the pots a stir; the boiling water might splash us." So we watched the pots boil as if we were at Yellowstone looking at geysers or something. "Are we having Pusketti?" he asked. "I do like that, and I guess you do too, but no, tonight, to go with our octopus we will have some worms. That is what we are cooking. Worms." His eyes got big. I was so pleased I almost giggled out loud. This was high adventure for him! In no time we were ready. I turned off the heat and drained the pasta, then used a slotted spoon to land each octopus. I got out plates and gave us each two octopuses. "Do you have any ketchup in your fridge, Dexter?" Without even answering he just trotted over there and brought some out for us. I got two plates and poured ketchup in a corner of each one. "Dip the octopus into the ketchup, legs first, and nibble those legs off," I instructed. While he was doing that, I dumped the pasta into the bowl and added olive oil, oregano and grated Parmesan. I put the bowl in front of us and asked Dexter to use a spoon and toss the worms around so they were all well coated. They were not too hot any more. ....."I saw a momma bird this morning with a nest full of baby birds. Do you know how the momma bird feeds worms to her babies?" He shook his head, no. "Like this!" And I leaned my head way back and opened my mouth as wide as possible. Then I dangled a long wiggly spaghetti into my mouth and ate it. "Delicious! We are Master Chefs!" I exclaimed. So of course he had to try it, and he said the same thing. We each ate two octopuses and a lot of worms. There were leftovers; I put the extra octopuses into the bowl with the slippery pasta. Maybe Mrs. Stuart would want them for something; if not, I could throw them out later. We each had an apple from the fridge. Dexter patted his round little tummy. "I'm full!" He announced. I made a sad face. "Oh dear, that's too bad. Then you will have no room for cookies." "Cookies!?" "Yes. We are cooks, so our dessert for cooks will be cookies." "Where are they?" He started looking around. "We have to make them, of course. That is what cooks do, they make food." He just looked at me curiously. I had him get me a plastic mixing bowl and spoon. I had brought a box of sugar and a measuring cup, so I held the cup over the bowl while he filled the cupI was with sugar. Then we dumped it into the bowl. More cleanup for later! Then I got out my jar of peanut butter, and had him spoon the PB into the cup until it was full. "I do not suppose you have any eggs?" He trotted right back over to the fridge and opened the door, pointing proudly to the row of eggs ensconced there. "Thank you so much, Master Chef!" I took the egg and broke it into the bowl, putting the shells into a paper towel. I spooned in the PB and we took turns stirring the glop until it was all one consistency. I set the oven to bake at 350 degrees. I found a baking pan and we took turns putting medium sized spoonfuls onto it, not too close to each other. Then I got a fork and we took turns pressing crossed fork patterns into each cookie in a checkerboard pattern. "This pattern is very traditional," I explained. "We are old school chefs, and we follow the grand traditions." By now the oven was ready, so I had him stand back and I put the tray in, using a mitt. "Do you remember how to set the microwave timer to ten?" I asked. He nodded vigorously, so I held him up, and do you know, he got it right on the very first try. What a guy. Ding! They were ready before we knew it. I used the mitt and pulled the tray out. "We let them cool for a minute so they are not too hot," I explained. "They will stick together better when they are not too hot, and they will not burn us." I was as impatient as he was for that first hot sweet sticky bite. It was worth waiting for, amazing for such a simple recipe, no flour or anything. We peeled them off the tray and ate them right there, without a plate (our plates were messy now). I had two and looked at another but looked at my waist and decided against it. Dexter had four, but eating the last one required a manful effort on his part to consume the final crumbs. There would be a few cookies left for the other Stuarts, and I hoped they would enjoy them. I put the tray up on top of the microwave. If Dexter wanted more later, he would have to ask politely for them. I exclaimed: "Great work! This has almost been a perfect elegant restaurant meal." "Almost?" "When the next chef comes in to make a meal, he will want to see a clean spotless kitchen where he can work. We do not want to disappoint him, or her. So once we clean up, then and only then will our meal be perfect. Can we do it?" "Yes we can!" I took our two empty cooking pots and had Dexter spray warm water into each one. I added detergent to one pot and stirred it around. We picked up and threw out the spilled Pusketti, and then used paper towels and sudsy water to clean the floor (ketchup, oil, cookie dough and footprints. Footprints?) We looked at our feet and decided to clean them too, they were making food debris marks everywhere we went. Then we cleaned the surfaces where we had worked, and removed our paw prints from the fridge, stove, microwave, and drawer handles. Finally we washed the plates and utensils. Dexter put the ketchup away. Then I had to wash his hands again. "This cleanup takes a long long time," he sighed. I agreed, and sighed along with him. But when we were all done and looked around, I can honestly say that except for our hats lying there it did not look like there had been any activity at all. "Now! Now it has been a perfectly perfect elegant restaurant meal." Dexter nodded, but rubbed his eye. He came over and hugged me. "Tell me another story?" he pleaded. After our adventurous day Sunday I had calmed him down with a story. "Sure. Let's get ready for bed and I will tell you as many stories as you want." So we went up to his room and got him into his pj's and covered up in bed. It was summer and he needed no blankets but he wanted the sheet pulled up because it made him feel safer. "Yes, of course, it is very good to feel safe while we sleep" I heartily agreed. I sat next to his pillow and gently stroked his head as I told him an old tale about the seventh son of a seventh son who found some strange friends that people had rejected. One had long long enormously long arms. One had huge huge unimaginably huge eyes, and so on. They discovered that by helping each other through using these unusual abilities they could perform great feats and save the kingdom. I told each part slowly and repetitiously, just as old grandmothers must have told it centuries ago. .....His eyes were closed; there was a gentle curve of a smile on his lips. He reached out one hand and wrapped it around my wrist. I kept on droning my tale, quietly, serene, reassuring. His breathing became calm and deep and even. .....I drifted into a dream of my own. I was in a hospital room, holding my newborn baby, nursing her. I had a wonderful peaceful feeling, looking down at my child. Warm sunlight poured into our room, lighting her downy head like a halo. The nurses smiled at both of us. The noise of the car pulling in and the front door closing awoke me. What a fool I was. I would have no babies. Momma birds could have babies, but not me. No way could I nurse a baby, either. I did not want to wake Dexter, so I did not make a sound, but silent tears rolled down my cheeks. That is how they found me. Silently, they took me downstairs. .....Mrs. Stuart took my hands in hers, and looked earnestly at me. "Is something wrong? Was there any problem?" I tried to smile. No, Dexter had been wonderful. He had been a gentleman pirate and we had splashed in the sea. Then we were Master Chefs. He can tell you how we dined on octopus and worms. We saved some for the rest of you! She made a face, but smiled. I pointed to the cookies on top of the microwave. "Oh, and I owe you an egg. I had the little guy get me one from the fridge because this was all about a team effort and he had his chores to do. He was excellent as a teammate, of course. And didn't we clean up well?" And I took the egg I had brought with me and placed it in the fridge. "I don't want to pry, Dawn. If you are dealing with something private, that is fine, it will stay private." "Can we sit somewhere?"I asked. We all went into the family room. For whatever reason, I sat on one sofa with Ann Stuart and Zach sat on the other with his dad. We were not far apart, the two sofas met at one corner to form an L. "Zach, I meant to tell you about this, but really the whole family should know. It will be in the newspapers soon enough." And I told them all about Monday night, the assault, the police interrogation, how this might be part of a whole string of unsolved burglaries. "So they want me to be present for the arraignment Friday morning" I concluded. "My name may not be published, because of my age, but people will be able to put two and two together. And if this goes to trial, the police warned me that the defense attorney will try to tear me apart, smear my character." "How awful! Your mother must know about this, by now?" I nodded. "I had been thinking how friendly everybody in this town was, but that was na?ve. I want to relax and be friendly, but now I have started seeing guys as a potential threat. You know, on the bus, or at the food court, they look at you, how do you know what they are thinking? So I have been changed, and not in a good way." I could see the tension in Zach's body. There were pink spots in his cheeks. "Me too?" he asked, almost angrily. "Are you scared of me too? And Index? We're both guys, you know." I lowered my eyes. "Honestly Zach, yes, that was what I was feeling when you last called. I realize it is totally unfair and I do not feel that way any more. No of course, you are wonderful, you have been kind to me from the first moment we met. And Dexter is an angel." Zach smiled at that. "How little you know!" he joked. Good, the worst was over. "Well anyway just as you all drove in I had been having a dream and imaging having a child of my own like Dexter. I actually imagined being with my newborn daughter in the hospital, and how happy I was. Then when I woke up I had a bad feeling about that, I felt I was impaired as a woman and would never have a normal life." And to my shame, I started crying again. That was as close as I could get to telling the whole truth; emotionally, it was close enough. Ann reached over and hugged me and I leaned my face into her shoulder. She just held me gently and said "There, there", that's all, but it was such a relief. .....They said they hoped I would feel better once my Mom got home, and I hoped so too. Zach said it had been a heavy evening but he would call tomorrow night and we could talk. They wanted to pay me, I tried to refuse. I truly meant it when I said I would gladly watch Dexter for free, just think of me like one of the family. But they paid me anyway, they kept insisting until I gave in. Ann took me home, saying little. I found myself comforted just to be near her. I was starting to feel very close with her, just glad she was there. When we got home I gave her a good strong hug and just said "Thanks for everything" and ran inside. The light was flashing on the phone. The message said Mom could not call tonight, something was going down with the bad guys, there were police involved, she had to be on the scene. She would tell me tomorrow. But she did say she had made an appointment with a psychologist for tomorrow morning at ten, a gender dysphoria specialist. She very much wanted me to see this guy. He would not talk me into or out of anything but just help me understand myself better. You wish, I thought.