A Change Of Life, Part 6 free porn video

A Change of Life, Part 6 by LaShaunda That night, I seriously debated whether or not I'd even return to my old job at the factory tomorrow. I had slept in my bed as LaShaunda, and I woke up at 5AM with only a few precious minutes to wash off and get back into "Dave mode." After my "sessions" last night, this was the first day I felt extremely reluctant about removing my LaShaunda cover and becoming a male again. For me, the thing about crossdressing was that when I was actually bouncing around the house in a pair of tights and panties, it was the most fun and orgasmic fantasy in the world. However, once I had climaxed and "relieved myself," I could not get undressed out of my ladies' clothes fast enough, and back as a guy again. Until now, I had always identified as male, except for in my repressed dreams. However, that morning, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and I washed off my tan and stumbled back into my men's underwear. However, as I emerged from the shower, still reeking somewhat of perfume and intangible memories of LaShaunda, I had a look in the mirror... Through the fog, I noticed some "changes." While I had been doing so much crossdressing that I hadn't been getting much exercise, on close inspection, I actually noticed that I was beginning to grow boobs... Yes, BOOBS!!! And no, these weren't just man-flab pork-boobs, but I was seeing definite teardrop protrusions emerge. I panicked... What if anyone saw?? I had to do something... more bench-presses, maybe to get rid of the flab. My boobs were just the result of my recently poor eating habits at McDonalds and KFC, for sure. I'd just have to exercise like mad for a few days, and I'd have my male pectoral muscles back again. And my new protrusions would not show under my work uniform. But as I looked in the mirror, I also noticed that my white skin just seemed a bit softer and "gleaming." Was it a mirage? Was I imagining things? How could I be sure. I felt like I needed to shave, and going to my usual routine of grabbing my razor, I brought the blades up to my face. However, much to my shock, I realized that I was running the razor along my face, but not actually removing any hair!! How was this happening. I had not shaved since last night, before I dressed up as LaShaunda?? Mentally, I was panicking, but what could I do? Anyway, it was getting to be time to see the boys off to school, and to tell them that when they got home tonight, they would be getting into "black girl" mode for their first ballet class. (apparently both had showered and had gone back to white boys on their own last night). I was sure Tommy would be enthused, but Ryan would protest. As I made them breakfast, I informed them that they would be starting ballet (as girls) that night, and I told a little fib and said that James had mandated it. Even though I lied, I was sure that James would approve of the enrollment of my boys in ballet lessons, and James's final arbitration on the matter would surely seal any discontent from Ryan/Tanisha. Ryan just grumbled and ate his pancakes, "Well," said Ryan, "I probably would have hung out with Jason and Paul tonight, but I probably won't chill with them anymore." I then had the odd thought that Ryan COULD hang out with Jason again, but as his black female girlfriend... (lol). But I kept that fleeting vision to myself, as Ryan seemed a bit "down" this morning. Any more jibes at his shaken male ego could send him in to a meltdown. "Well, I guess I will go to ballet, as I know Danielle said once in class that she studies at Shanice's school too, so it will be cool to hang out with her again. And if James orders it..." So my two sons grabbed their bookbags and darted out the door, and I drove off for another day of drudgery at the factory. My job was to spend all day, every day, molding a tiny metal part for a lawnmower into exact proportions, so it could be fitted properly on another assembly line at another factory. It was boring as fuck, and my mind did nothing but wander all day, every day. Around noon, or so, I was interrupted by Mr. Davidson... "Miller, Phone Call." I went off and picked up the receiver... It was James. "LaShaunda" said James... Mr. Davidson was right outside. "Shhh, keep your voice down," I said, "My boss can hear our conversation." "Ohs, sorry," he said... "Can I call you back on your cell?" "Sure." So we resumed the conversation. James said to me, "Listen, LaShaunda, I have been thinking a LOT about that experience we shared on Monday. To be honest with you, I can think about you, only you, and nothing else. So I have to come out and say it... Would you like to go out with me tonight, with you as LaShaunda...?" "Wha, wa, wa..." "I know," said James, sounding like a skitterish schoolboy, " I tried to play it cool on Monday, but you have DOMINATED my thoughts. You are more woman than anyone else I have ever met. And you have the best of "both worlds", too. You have the power and energy of the man, but you know all the ways in which a woman should treat a man." Oh my god... I blushed. What had I done!! I had turned this prestigious, viriile, man into a lovesick schoolboy who had a complete crush on me." "I knew," said James, "I would never meet a woman in real life who met all my standards, so I had to create one. And I made you, LaShaunda!!" "Oh James," I said, somewhat speechless. Truth be told, at this moment, I was terrified, and at a crossroads. My intention was just to do enough to keep James interested in me and paying me to act as his black girlfriend. I needed the cash badly, and I had absolutely NO intention of being in a relationship with him. And while I had a masturbatory fantasy about him last night, I was quite honestly terrified, in real life, of how he might hurt me in the bedroom. Actually dating a large black man was the stuff of dreams, but not a step I wanted to take in real life. However, I was also terrified that if I declined his overtures directly, I would lose him (and his paycheck). Also, quite honestly, he aroused me tremendously, and he was one hell of a guy... What the hell.... I was flabbergasted, "Oh James," I said, "Yes, I would love to go out with you. The thing is though, my girls and I have ballet class tonight at Shanice's dance school, so I might be indisposed for awhile." "Oh yes," said James, "Well, you can start ballet next week. Cha'relle can get your girls dressed tonight and off to their ballerina class. I can pick you up at 7, so be sure to go home tonight and get into your sexiest little number.... mmm mmm, he said (I could hear him disgustingly licking his lips." Oh crap, this black guy was all over me. I DID like James a whole lot, but for some reason, I was a bit put off by his sudden lecherousness in propositioning me for a date. "James, I can't wait," I said, with the tiniest hint of reluctance in my voice.... It felt a bit like a nightmare that you can't wake up from, except that this thing was REAL. I had been spending the majority of my time as LaShaunda now. Even for this, there was not much shock-factor left for being a black woman, but my new fears now were regarding James's massive and pent-up sensations. I could go for days dressed as LaShaunda and barely think twice about it. When I went in to my son's rooms to clean them, it felt crazy to see that they both had one full dresser each filled with bras, panties, tights, girls' slacks, and each of their closets had a section totally lined with dresses and ladies' shoes. It was also funny to see their rooms filling up with more feminine furniture and accouterments; pink lampshades, vanities stocked with makeup and beauty products, and a rack of hair-care products and busts for wigs. If anyone visited our house, they would say "What the fuck..." The thing is that I am NOT gay. I am a totally heterosexual man, who fantasizes about and loves sexy women (especially sexy WHITE women).... I have had huge crushes on Anne Hathaway, Scarlett Johanson, WHITE hooters girls, and the like. Crossdressing is a very niche thing for me. The whole crossdressing thing is just a very subdued fetish. Presenting as a black woman has no enticement for me, except for work. Now, however, I feared what would happen if I was "penetrated" by James's massive male member. I was scared to death that he might go down this road. I had had a prostate exam before at the Doctor's office... I think perhaps though I was mostly sacred right now regarding the uncertainty of my future. I wanted to make sure that me, and especially my boys, were well taken care of. I knew that with my limited financial resources as Dave Miller, I could never send them to college, or do the million-and-one little things to ease the door for them to have success as adults. As "LaShaunda," I'd have all of James's clout in every aspect of life. And as black girls, for their youth, they'd have access to every Governmental, financial, and preferential-placement program you could think of. With these thoughts in mind, I went home, showered, dyed, and slipped into a pair of black pantyhose, and a black-and-white polka dot dress that my wife had had in the back of her closet. I wore a black bra and panties underneath, and black heels. After I had changed into my date outfit, I went and told my sons to get ready for their first ballet class. They went through the usual dyeing and hair routines. They looked so cute as they both pulled their wigs off of their busts and "crowned" themselves at the same time. Then,I handed them each a black leotard and a pair of white tights. Curiously, this time, there was no grumbling for Ryan as she sat down in a chair and slowly pulled the white pantyhose up over her white panties and black legs. "Good Girl," I said. "So why are you dressed tonight, dad, I mean mom," asked Ryan? "Do you got a hot date?" "As a matter of fact, James is picking me up tonight,' I informed him. "Really," said Tommy, perking up. "Yes," I said, whistfully, "James is coming by, and he is going to take me out on a date, where we will talk about what future days we will be dressing up and getting paid. And Cha'relle will be by soon to take you girls to your first ballet class." My boys were now both wearing white tights, and black velvet leotards with short sleeves. The leotards were monogramed "SC" about the hip, which i thought was really cute for both of my black daughters. This was the uniform for Shanice's dance school. They would be required to wear pink ballet slippers in class, but they would wear sneakers going to and from school, as to not ruin their dance shoes on concrete or pavement. The oddest thing now though was getting my two little girls into the bedroom to do their hair and makeup. I know I could have waited for Cha'relle, but I felt it would be best for all of us to practice with these necessary feminine skills. I actually had fun every time I put barettes in their hair, and pulling their locks back into cute ponytails and ballet-buns. Before I did anything though, I noticed that Ryan's tights and leotard were "sagging" a little bit around his butt, so I pulled up his hosiery and adjusted his leotard around his crotch, to make it fit better. "Thanks Mom," he said. "Sit down honey, and lets me do yo' makeup." I applied purple lipstick to both of my boys' faces, and then I applied the necessary creames, foundations, and eye-products to bring out their new feminine and nubian contours. It was crazy watching their male faces disappear, and two pretty black girls emerge. If I did not know any better, I would think that they were just two more black females. I could see them both demurely accepting their new roles, at this point.... They were both very pretty, and I felt that they would have huge chances for success as socialized black women who could easily get dates. Attending ballet and dance classes would give them the necessary grace, posture, and feminine comportment to go with their new look. They would get used to interacting as, and presenting as women. They would be around lots of other black girls who would seamlessly help them adjust to their new identities. They would have to talk about things like other boys, and flirting, with their new friends. I finally pinned the wigs on both of my boys, and then I styled both of their hairpieces into the appropriate "ballet buns," as I was following a tutorial that I had pulled up on the internet. "You two look like such cute little black girls," I told them both. "Oh mom," said Tommy... "Dad," said Ryan, "I can't believe that you are doing this to me." "Its just temporary," I reassured him again, "Remember, even if you live for a long time as a black girl, you always are my son, and you have been my son. Even if you present as a black girl on the outside, you are still a man underneath." "Tanisha and Ashanti" were now ready to go, and I told them to get their ballet bags ready, and put a spare pair of tights in there, in case they tore the ones they were wearing. They both nodded their heads. They would also need their purses and their makeup in case they had to "freshen up" at dance class. "I'm so nervous for my first ballet class," said Tanisha. "Don' worry dear," I said, "You'll do fine. Yous did amazin' at the Soul Sista's practice. Everyone commented on what a great dancer you are." " I still just don't feel that confident yet though," he said, "I still feel more like a little boy in tights, but not a girl." "Wels, yous be gettin' there," I informed him, "And like James said, it will only be a matter of time until girlhood is second nature to you." I began doing my own makeup and preparing my wig. "You look really pretty tonight, mom," said Tanisha, catching me a bit off guard. "Why thank you dear," I replied, and I gave Tanisha a big hug. It was still a bit crazy seeing him dressed as a little ballerina, in a leotard and tights. ----- "Have fun at dance," I told my girls, as Cha'relle came by to pick them up at about 5 PM. She was very pleased to see them already dressed and made up.... besides a few minor corrections to their makeup, she pronounced them "done," and got them in the car and off to ballet. I had just hoped that they would have a good time, fit in, and most importantly, not be "outed." I had every faith though, as both were so passable as black girls. Cha'relle had told me that she would take a video of my girls dancing in class on her cell-phone, and she would share it with me, so I would not miss out on a second of what cute little ballerinas that they were becoming. I was very glad about this, at least. I was also kind of excited about beginning my own ballet classes and learning how to move as a woman. But for now, I braced myself for James to come and pick me up. To be honest, it was very hard to just sit around the outfit in a dress and pantyhose, thinking about James, as I was constantly feeling very aroused and horny in the tight nylon. It was very hard to wait for two hours and not succumb to the urge to masturbate, as then I'd have to "freshen up" and prepare myself again. So the time crawled on slowly. At about 6:45, however, James knocked at the door. "Oh LaShaunda," he said, "You look so ravishing." "Thank you James," I said coyly. He next came and gave me a big hug, pressing close against me. "Oh James." "My dear," he said, "I got you something," and he pulled out a gold necklace, and dropped it exquisitely over my deer-like and long Nubian neck. The necklace was beautiful, very shiny and radiant, with gold- link chains. It was obviously very expensive. I did not know much about jewelry, but I could tell that this was a beautiful piece. "A special gift for a special lady." 'Un, yous' be my sugar daddy now," I asked, playfully? "I want to take care of you, LaShaunda," said James. "I feel strongly about you too," I said, somewhat awkwardly. "Don't worry about anything. Just relax and have fun, like I know you want to. Oh, also, I guess Cha'elle got your girls off to dance class?" "Yes," I said, "It all went well. Tanisha did not even complain at all, and she seemed excited to get changed into her tights." "That is great news," said James, "I'm so glad that she seems to be 'coming around.'" So we pulled off in James's car to the restuarant, talking like old friends about our families, and lives. We had so much to talk about, especially thanks to the "program," I was currently undergoing. Even though this was a traumatic change for me and my sons, I felt like we had a lot to talk about, and I enjoyed talking to him. "You know," said James, "Depending on how seriously you want to pursue this, We should think about getting you and your girls on female hormones. This will let you girls develop more feminine complexions, curves, and breasts." "James," I said, "I'm already growing breasts. Haven't you noticed?" "Really," he replied, somewhat surprised? "Yes," I said, " I don't know what is going on.... It might just be that all of these experiences have triggered a chemical in my brain that is causing breast development. That is what it feels like anyway," "Uh," said James, "I think it may just be your diet. I know you have been eating a lot of fast-food recently, which might just be making you gain weight in those areas." "Yeah, I think that could be it," I replied quizzically... "I have been eating a lot of junk food since Christine left." "That will do it," he said. I had never been fat before in my life, so I had no way of knowing which parts of my body would receive the new fat deposits if I had binges of overeating. "We'll just have you do some pilates," said James, "And the weight will come right off." We pulled up to a "Soul-Food" restaurant, and we entered and ordered. I was very much looking forward to trying some of the new items on the menu, like Collard Greens, but James insisted that I limit myself to a salad. "I just want to see you keep your figure," he said..... "So anyway," said James, "How are your daughters adjusting to being black girls now?" "Well, like I said, Ashanti loves it, and Tanisha is coming around. She has been complaining less and less, and she has been talking less frequently about 'remaining a white boy.'" "I'm glad to hear that," said James, "I think that they will find so much that is fulfilling about being a black woman. And also, I know that there is that rap concert coming up that both can go to with their new friends." "Lil' Romeo, I think." "I think that they will have so much fun. And by the way, LaShaunda, did I tell you how absolutely beautiful you look tonight. I love your dress, and your tights, and your face looks so stunning." "Thanks," I replied, "The dress was Christine's. Her new beau bought her a whole new wardrobe when she ran off with him." "It is your dress now," said James. "But James," I said, "We do need to talk though, and seriously. Obviously, I really enjoy hanging out with you, and prancing around as LaShaunda. However, if this business arrangement is going to continue, I need to know where exactly we are leading. I mean, we can't keep going back and forth from white guys to black girls, indefinitely?" "Well," said James, "I'm glad you asked. I wasn't going to say anything, but you know that Summer is almost coming up, and your girls will be done with school. I know how both Tanisha and Ashanti have taken to dancing, and there is a ballet summer-camp that is run jointly by the Soul-Sista's and 3 other dance schools...... The camp is an all- summer kind of thing that lasts two months, and the students stay in dormitories off at the camp-grounds.... They spend all day practicing ballet, cheerleading, and other forms of dance, and they pretty much become experts after their stay there." "Really," I said, "That sounds like great fun." "Oh yes," said James, "It is one of the top ballet summer-camps in the country, and many prestigious dancers have trained there. It is also very expensive, but don't worry about it, as I will pay for it if Tanisha and Ashanti want to attend. Of course, this would require them living completely as black girls for the entire summer, as that is how they would be presenting themselves." "But how would that work out," I asked, "I mean, woudn't their tans wash off if they went swimming?" "No," said James, "Obviously, before Tanisha and Ashanti go to dance- camp, they would have a more permanent tanning solution applied that would be very difficult to remove, except with another type of solvent. Also, they'd be taken and given a more permanent makeover at a hair- braiding parlour, with their real hair dyed, styled, and probably braided. It would take some work to get them ready for an extended stay as girls, but I think it is something that should be considered.... Also, if they want to go, then I'd suggest that they get started on a hormone regimen for the summer, and that they get much more practice doing things like styling hair and makeup, so they fit in as girls..... They can fool people temporarily, but they have to get used to the female life from day in and day out." "Well," I said, "I know Ashanti would be VERY interested, but I'm not sure about Tanisha." "I really think that they would love this Summer camp," said James, "They also do more than just dance all day. There are swimming pools, horseback riding, and all sorts of activities. Also, they have parties, dances, and lots and lots of socializing. It would be a great time." "You know that my girls have never been to summer-camp before," I said. "I am definitely thinking about it. I just don't know how they will react to having to remain as black girls for such a long period of time?" "Yes, that is the tradeoff," said James, "But as you can see, being a black woman is not that big of a deal." "And what will I do for the summer," I replied, "I'd be so lonely all in that house, by myself." "Well," said James, "I think it might be easier on you if you spent the summer as a full-time black woman." My eyes perked up. "Its just that with work, they are really getting people in line for big promotions to the Board-of-Directors, and the Partnership, and I'll be having to attend lots of cocktail-parties, and social events. And it might be easier if you were just "permanently" on call as LaShaunda. You would undergo the same long-term treatment your girls will get." "Oh James," I said, "This is too much, too fast... I have to think about it." The Soul Food restaurant was patronized mostly by the upper-class black community, of which me and James were now a part. As we chatted away at our table for hours, I looked out of the corner of my eye.... Leticia Howe approached our table, with one of James's fellow male attorneys. They were probably out for a business dinner. "Hello James," said Leticia, "And I see you brought your lovely girlfriend LaShaunda out with you tonight." "Hello Mrs. Howe," I said demurely. "It is nice to see you again." "Its a pleasure as always," said James, sounding a bit like one of the classy male actors from a soap-opera. "Oh James," said Mrs. Howe, "It looks like you got a real keeper. Well," she said, "I have so much to talk about with Washington here, but I'll let you two get back to your romantic evening. I just wanted to come and say hello." "Thank you Leticia," said James. After she left, James said to me, "You did so great there. She really thinks that you are my girlfriend, lol..." "Maybe I am, James." ----- Before leaving, I had went to use the bathroom, to freshen up. I used the ladies' room, completely inconspicuously. I felt a bit of triumph as I knew I was able to "pass." Looking in the gilded mirror, preening and smiling, I was just another African-American chick. It felt crazy, entering the toilet, and pulling down my tights and panties to relieve myself. As I sat down with James again and ate desert, James informed me to look around the restaurant. As I did I realized that many, MANY of the black men in there were ogling me with leering eyes. "They haven't been able to take their eyes off of you all night, LaShaunda," said James. I don't know if you have noticed, but ALL of the guys in this restaurant can't stop peeking at you." It felt great to be recognized and appreciated as a woman. I suddenly perked up, and really began enjoying myself as LaShaunda. I smiled and fluttered eyelashes, even attempting to make furtive eye-contact with several of the males whom had been casting glances at me. "You are the most beautiful woman in this restaurant," said James. "And it is great to se you finally acting like it." "Oh James." We left and held hands as we strutted back to James's luxury car. He held me close, his hand on the tops of my control-top black pantyhose, just over my butt. It felt amazing... These were completely new sensations for me... Not just sexually, but being treated and pampered like a female. These were beautiful feelings which I did not really want to come to an end. "James," I said to him in the car, " I think it could be the best thing for my girls to go to ballet camp. Neither are playing sports anymore, and I think it is the right thing to do." "Yeah, I mean, it would be great for them to have something to do this summer," said James, "And I am paying for it, so why not?" "I just don't know what I will do this summer," I said longingly, "all in my house by myself." James slid one hand over to my nylon thigh. "Well," said James, "If you get lonely, than you can always come by my place. And you and your boys can still spend a few more weeks as guys, from here on out, before you all get your semi-permanent makeovers." ----- We tried to fight our feelings, but James and I crashed through his front door, both making out voraciously. I don't know how the hell it happened exactly.... I mean, I am still theoretically a straight white guy. However, one minute, James had his paw on my leg. The next thing I know, I look over in the driver's seat of his vehicle, and he is stroking a massive erection that he is sporting. We were both feeling so hot and bothered. We went to his bedroom and were extremely busy making out, with heavy petting. Next, James tore off my dress, and I stood before him in just my bra, tights, and panties. My boobs and the flat front of my crotch were very prominent. "Listen, LaShaunda," said James, "Do you think we could take our relationship to "the next level"?"... "What do you mean, exactly," I asked sheepishly? "Well, uh, you know," asked James, " What do you think about blowjobs?" "Oh James," I said, "I'm not ready for that yet. And you know I have gone much farther than I have ever wanted to right now. I'm sill a guy." "I understand," James said, with sadness and disappointment, "I won't try and force you into something that you aren't ready for yet. "Listen," I said, "I can do a handjob, but not a blowjob, yet. Then, I'll get home and talk to my girls about if they want to go to the ballet camp this summer." "Yes," said James in ecstasy, with a massive erection draining all the blood from his brain.... "You make sure they agree to such a decision. Oh, and by the way, don't worry about showing up at your old factory job, if it is interfering with you dressing... I'd rather have your focus on being LaShaunda. Also, it would be best for the three of you to have some final few days for "male bonding" and living life as guys before you spend a lot of time as black girls." I squirted some lotion and began to expertly manipulate his stallion- like member. I tended to him solicitiously, after which we cuddled and hung out for a couple hours. Then, I got my dress back on, and headed back home. "Call me!!!" said James. What was I getting into??? ----- It was about midnight when I re-arrived at my homestead. In the absence of supervision, both of my girls were up late watching the BET channel. They sat on the couch, still wearing their leotards, tights, and ballet slippers from ballet. Occasionally, Ashanti would get up and "bust a hot dance move" as some rapper would start singing on the network. She was quite a talented little dancer, able to move and shake her booty like "Honey." The BET network featured a mostly black cast of younger African American males and females, whom my two sons/daughters were now the spitting image of. I entered through the door, and both girls thought nothing of seeing me dressed completely as a black woman. "Hi mom," both said absentmindedly. Ashanti was up a bit and "grooving' in her tights and leotards, and she spoke with a complete "ghetto" intonation. Tanisha, by contrast, still just sat on the couch, crossing her legs and watching the program. It seemed, however, that the black-cultural material was "sinking in" to her head as well. Was this brainwashing?? Both girls looked so pretty in their ballet outfits. Their leotards really showed off their exceptional figures, and their legs looked so angelic in their white tights. Their pink ballet slippers were also really cute. "How was dance class, girls?" "It was great mom," said Ashanti, " We had a lot of fun, and there are a few cute guys there too." "Boy dancers?" "Oh yeah. Cha'relle also took a video of the whole class, which was really cool!!" Just then, Nick Cannon (a younger black celebrity) popped on the BET television show. He was acting as a presenter, and he was flanked by about 6 scantily-dressed black-female dancers, whom gyrated around him. However, both of my girls had all eyes on Nick Cannon. "Oh momma, he be a real stud," said Tanisha. As she said it, I even heard a hint of longing in her voice, and I noticed that she had one hand on her leotarded crotch. "Did I just hear you right," I asked her. " Oh yeah momma, NIck Cannon be bangin'!!! I wish he was my boo." It shocked me to hear my son say openly that he found a black boy attractive. As "Dave Miller," such a statement would have shocked me and almost would have had me commit Ryan for psychiatric help, or a "Scared Straight/pray-the-gay-away" program. However, as LaShaunda, it was perfectly normal for my teenage daughters to develop crushes on boys of their race. And I had to admit, Nick Cannon, was extremely fetching. Both of my girls were having fun dancing and watching TV, so I went into the kitchen and decided to prepare them an (ethnically appropriate) snack of watermelon slices and grape soda. As I made the late snack, more lound rap lyrics blared from the living room. I decided then that it was getting late, and I'd ask my girls to make a decision about spending the summer as black females later on, especially back when they were dressed as guys, and might make a more balanced decision. Spening the summer in as a different race and gender was not a decision to make lightly!!!! ------ By early morning, my girls had had a snack and had crashed in their bedrooms, falling asleep in their leotards and tights. I had been up late, with much on my mind. James's schoolboy crush on me had been at the forefront.... I still considered myself a male, and I was very wary of his advances. However, I needed the income from this "Golden Goose." I was not capable of being the appropriate male breadwinner on my own volition.... my male personality was too weak. I was still awake at about 3:30 AM, when I was feeling warm, and I decided to go and turn down the thermostat in the hallway. It was pitch dark in the house. However, as I got closer to my girls' bedrooms, I noticed that the light in Tanisha's room was still on. I normally don't spy or snoop on my kids, but that night, my curiosity got the best of me. I also had not been around my girls much, and I felt I needed to see how they were adjusting and taking these big demands placed upon their lives. As I got closer, I began to hear the sounds of bedsprings creaking up and down. "OMG," I thought... I could not help but catch a glimpse of what was going on through the cracked door. I saw Ryan lying pronely, in the missionary position on the bed. He was still dressed and dolled up as Tanisha, and he was wearing his ballet outfit. As I looked closer, he was rocking his butt up and down and back and forth, grinding the underside of his penis against the matress and sheets. As I looked and watched him masturbate, it was clear to me that he had removed his faux-vaginal gaff, to free his male member for rubbing against his leotard, tights, panties, and his bed. As he pleasured himself, he gripped his pillow for support. "What could this mean," I asked myself? Is Ryan jacking off in ladies' clothes, and fantasizing about being a ballerina? This was important stuff, and a clue for knowing how far he should take acting as "Tanisha." He had no inkling that I was around, as he was pounding the bed quite hard. As I watched, he seemed to "mount" his sheets more and more, grinding more energetically. I decided right then and there, however, that I had to intervene. I had no objections to him masturbating, or acting like a girl. However, I had heard from a doctor, when I was younger, that masturbating in the missionary position was unhealthy, and caused nerve damage to the penis as a result from grinding too hard against a solid object. It scared me to see Ryan pleasuring himself in this way, so I felt I had to correct him and enter his room, and show him the proper way to stimulate himself manually. I swung open the door and said "mmm, young lady." However, Ryan did not notice me. Just as I "caught" him, his stroking came to an end, and he had suddenly slumped. He had been in that 3 or 4 seconds of ecstasy where he had lost all contact with the world, and had become totally lost in his own sordid and ebony fantasies. As he snapped back to reality, he looked up and saw me staring at him. "MOM!!!" he shrieked.... He clutched his pillow, very embarassed. "Wait, its ok," I said, "Every parent catches their kid doing this at least once." I looked even closer, and he now had a GIANT wet and off-white stain in the front of his black leotard. "Oh honey," I said, "Lets get you cleaned off. You will ruin all your pretty clothes with stains doing that. You need to do it nude from now on." "Oh momma," I didn't mean it. He was almost in tears, crying and sobbing. I went to give him a big hug. I know he was mortified, but I wanted to reassure him that it was ok. He/she was shaking. "I's so sorry, I's so sorry," said my sissy son. Ryan gave me a big hug, pressing his tighted legs against mine. His big cumstain came dangerously close to myself "Honey, us need to change yo outfit," I declared. However, just as I sat down on his bed, I suddenly looked over beyond his pillow. The whole dynamics of this situation suddenly changed completely. What I saw was all too clear.... Beyond his pillow, Ryan had assorted ALL of the lusty pictures that Cha'relle had taken of ME, dressed in my outrageous LaShaunda outfits.... It was all too clear now, Ryan had not just been masturbating, but he had been fantasizing about ME... But it was unclear, "Was he dreaming about doing a sexual act WITH me, or mabye it was just the idea of being a black woman, or the outfits I was wearing that day of the fashion show?" "Tanisha," I exclaimed!!! Why do you have my pictures out like that? "Oh momma, I was just looking at those because you looked so pretty that night, and I was dreaming about being just like you." "You think I look pretty," I said to him? "Oh yes momma, I's just loved the outfits you wore, and you have such a bangin' body." "Its quite all right my dear, its quite all right." He was very shaken up. "These are just typical urges that everyone your age has, and everybody does it." "I'm so sorry for looking at your pictures and doing that, said Ryan... But its just with EVERYTHING that is being done to me right now... I feel like a completely different person. I am having all of these new feelings that I don't understand." "I understand," I said, hugging him. "And listen, nothing more will be said about this, but you can't look at my pictures like that. Its just not right." "Ok momma," he said, still sobbing. "And another thing," I said, "Its not healthy for you to do that on the bed like that. You need to use your hand, or else you can really hurt yourself by cutting off circulation and your nerves." "Its ok momma," he said, suddenly feeling better, "We watched a video in Health Class the other day that talked about this. It said that masturbation is perfectly fine.... Also, it said that no one way of doing it is harmful." "Really," I said, surprised. Ryan Peeled off his old leotard and tights, and changed into a fresh pair of white ballet tights, and a blue leotard, for him to sleep in. "I just hope these stains come out," I said, "I'd hate to ruin your black uniform ballet leotard," "I's be sorry momma." "Listen," I said, "Don't worry about anything. Everything that happened tonight is perfectly fine. You are growing as a black girl, and you are just experimenting. I did it too when I was your age. But get some sleep, because we have to have a family talk tomorrow. Also, we are meeting Grandma for lunch, so we'll be back as white guys too." "Thanks Momma, and I will try not to ruin my clothes anymore either." "What you are doing is perfectly healthy, and understandable." ----- It was a bit anti-climactic to go out as 3 regular and humdrum guys that Saturday Afternoon. We ate lunch with my parents, and Ryan was very quiet and shy in his jeans and T-shirt, given the trauma of being "caught in the act" last night. If my parents had one idea of what drama was going on behind our lame veneer of being white guys, they would have been totally shocked. I really did not even want to go back to being "The Millers," but I felt that my sons should be dressed as boys when I brought up the idea for them having long-term status as girls (for the summer)... I felt like they were influenced by wearing the un-neutral attire of black females. Also, to be honest with you, I was uncertain about the TREMENDOUS amount of influence that James was exercising over us, and getting us into our "ghetto girl" alter-egos. I felt that maybe it was best for us to make as many memories as we could as white males, as who knew what the future held for us long-term? Would James invest this much on us just to have "summer girls?" He also seemed to show no interest in me when I was in guy-mode. So we headed home that afternoon, and I called my boys into the kitchen for a "family talk." "What is it dad," said Ryan, perhaps a bit afraid that I was going to take him to task for masturbating. "Boys," I said, "Something has come up, specifically with James and the opportunities he is giving us." Then, I pulled out three all- encompassing brochures for the Dance Camp, and I placed them on the kitchen table. Tommy and Ryan studied them eagerly. "As you guys have taken so well to learning ballet and dance, James has suggested that you two attend this camp for the summer. Both he and I think you will really enjoy it." "It looks way cool dad," said Tommy... "But we can't go as guys, not if the other Soul Sista's are there." "Uh, you won't be going as men," I said, "You'll attend as Tanisha and Ashanti." "But this is an overnight, all-summer camp," Ryan said nervously, "And I mean, its fine to go out as a black girl for a couple hours, but how can we do it all summer. Our tans will wash off in the pool!! And won't they all see, before too long, our, well, uh, our boy haircuts, and our parts?" "Well," I said, a bit nervous of bringing this topic up, " James says that some more permanent things can be done to keep you two as girls all summer, to where you don't have to worry about your skin or your hairstyles. He said that you two would go to an African- hair braiding parlor, and have complete makeovers. The downside though is that you'd basically be stuck as black girls, and you couldn't just go back to being a white guy whenever you wanted. This is something you'd really have to commit to and stick with." "YEAH DAD," exclaimed Tommy!!! That sounds super fun. Ryan was not so sure, but fate was not on his side. "What will you do all summer," Ryan asked me. "Well, uh," I said, a bit embarassed, "I'll probably have a complete makeover too, and spend the summer as LaShaunda. It will be much better, as I won't have to work anymore, and I can just relax and not have to worry about going back and forth between Dave and Miss-thang!!! James says he has plenty of paid work for me." "So we'll all be getting made over together, with permanents," said Ryan. "Yeah," I said, "Probably as soon as school is out, in a few weeks. Then you'll practice your voices for a few weeks, and then off to dance camp. And then, back as guys before the next school year." "Ok dad," said Ryan suddenly, with a burst of courage, "I'll do it." ----- James was very excited when he heard that the three of us had agreed to spend the summer as black women. Most of the rest of the spring was spent in anticipation of "the big change".... It kind of became a weekly routine to spend the school week as white guys, just going about our business like any regular family. Then, on Thursdays, the Miller men would get behind closed doors and change intimately into three luscious black women. We would all help each other change. As we did this, we got more skilled and confident with our makeup, outfits, and playing around with our hairstyles. We would emerge completely presented as a cute little family of black females..... A welfare-to-work momma and her two daughters. My kids had "Soul Sistah's" practice on Thursday, and then ballet on Friday. Before long, it was very convenient to only have to change over once, so I started calling my kids in sick from school on Friday.... this way they could spend 4 consecutive days as black females.... Thursday, Friday, Saturday, an Sunday. Being able to sleep in and miss school in Friday was thrilling for my boys. If they were just going to be black-female homemakers, then did they really need all dat fancy education anyway?? However, our weekends were far from free, and were instead filled up with training mandated by James and Cha'relle. On Saturday, for instance, the three of us started private ballet lessons with Jenny, all in tights and leotards. This was done to get me started in dance, and to build my gracefulness and feminine posture. For the boys, it was to help them catch up with technique, and to get the ready to go "en pointe" and give them loads of options if they wanted to pursue a professional dance career (all of their teachers said this was a real possibility).... After ballet lessons on Saturday, we would have a few more hours at the dance school of topics like "comportment" and ettiquitte. Much of it was silly, like walking up and down the dance floor in heels and a tight skirt, and balancing a book on your head. However, there was SO MUCH my girls had to learn with the "little things," much of which I did not realize until each situation came up. On Sundays, Cha'relle would come over and drill us on feminine mannerisms. She would have us do things like try on new outfits and put on impromptu fashion shows. This kind of thing was done in lieu of the typical types of "male" recreation we might have done otherwise. Spending considerable amounts of "everday" time as females was important, so we developed the right reactions in common situations. In these fashion shows, Cha'relle took many "liberties" with us in order to get us to lose our inhibitions as women. For example, if we pranced around in a dress, Cha'relle would lift our skirts to show our panties underneath to the rest of the family. This way, we would lose our shyness about our new bodies. But anyway, the higlight of this spring was that I continued to see James a few more times (on dates)... I began to fall for him more and more, even though we never went further than making out, heavy petting, and then a hand-job (from me) to conclude our dates. I did not want him touching my parts. On my end, it was still business (to keep him engaged in our deal). I was so confused and conflicted.... I won't say I was really disgusted with myself, but I had mixed feelings about what I was doing. For me, at this point, giving James a handjob was like pumping gas. However, one night after a big date, James looked into my eyes and said, "LaShaunda, I've been thinking... why live in that big house all by yourself this summer. Why not come with your girls and stay with me instead? I have cable, and Charter internet." "Oh James," I said coyly, "i'm not sure I'm ready yet for that step." "Well, it is completely up to you," said James, "Just letting you know that my invitation is always open." "James, I accept. I can not appreciate enough all that you do for us. I would be honored to stay with you, but we must have separate bedrooms...." ------ Cha'relle regularly showed me videos of my girls in ballet class, and they were coming along so well. The Summer was fast approaching, and soon, school would be out and we would be as permanent black girls for the summer. The impending Lil' Romeo concert had both of my girls very excited. One day, Ashanti came bursting through the door and said, "Momma, Momma, I actually have a date for the concert." "Darius wan me to go wif him," she said with immense excitement!!!! Darius was a boy she knew from church. "Oh honey," I said, "That is so sweet, but I still think you are a bit young to be going on dates with boys." Our situation notwithstanding, I was still petrified at the thought of my son going on a date with a virile black boy who was a few years older than him. I am not racist in any way against black people, but I was very concerned about her safety, for obvious reasons... Also, if Ashanti were to be "outed" as a boy, God knows what the fallout from that could be in a large crowd of exciteable African-American youths. As a man, it would have been a gut-check to me to see my son, dressed as a girl, clearly the "woman" in the relationship with black male. But as LaShaunda, I had to keep up the facade, and admittedly, I wanted to be excited for my daughter. She was doing no different than my actions with James... "Oh sweetie, I guess it is ok," I said, "And you are going with a large group of kids, so It be ok. Just no funny business...." "Ok Momma," said Ashanti, as she went off to change for ballet. "Yeah momma, I am looking forward to going tomorrow night too," said Tanisha. "You will have to let me know all about it...." "Momma, can we go shopping and get special dresses to wear for the concert," asked Tanisha? "Really," I asked? I was shocked to hear these words coming from my once reluctant son. Now, he wanted to go and get himself tarted and blinged up? "Yeah, momma, well, you know, I just want to look pretty," said Ryan/Tanisha? "But you already have plenty of dresses, my dear." "Well, um, I really want to feel special tomorrow night." She had a wistful look in her eye "Oh, I see," I said, "Its not about a boy, is it?" "Um, yes. He be so dreamy. Id do anything if he just noticed me." "Say no more, my dear, and don't be embarassed. We have two hours to go shopping before your dance class, and we can pick up gowns for both of you girls...." - To be Continued...