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MISDIRECTED MAGIC By Persephone 01/23/2014 I started this story with the premise that magic is real and body swap, or mind swap, is possible and then took it from there. How would my characters react given their particular background and life experiences? As with most of my stories it is long, detailed, and complete. This story also contains some rather coarse, but I believe realistic language, given the main character's background and life experience. I like conversation in my stories so this one has a lot of verbal exchange. It's marked both fast and slow transformation because the physical is fast, the mental is slow. I hope you enjoy it and look forward to your comments. Chapter One; Susan Louise McReynolds Susan McReynolds was very cute in a hometown 'girl next door' type of way. Twenty-four years old, a very nice figure on a five foot nine inch frame topped by a pretty face with a clear complexion and Kelly green eyes. She had long chestnut brown hair that fell in soft waves halfway down her back with subtle natural blond and red highlights. Susan, or Sue as most people addressed her, really was a very attractive young woman until you got to know her. Her sweet looks, great body and natural beauty belied what lay beneath the surface. She was sullen, bitchy, complaining, intolerant of almost everyone, mean, petty, and vindictive. She would tolerate female company to a degree but the male of the species was not acceptable in any form; they were the oppressors. Sue wasn't a feminist in the traditional sense. She just directed the blame for her own shortcomings on men rather than take the responsibility on herself. Truth be told, she had no actual friends. Only one person actually seemed able to somewhat tolerate her and that was Beth, a co-worker at the law offices of Rumgay, Hawkins, Potter, and Evans. Beth and Sue were both newly hired. Beth was in a paralegal position and as such was just the tiniest notch above Sue was currently filling the receptionist, general go-fer, and part time paralegal position which she felt was totally beneath her. She was sure that the only reason she was relegated to this lowly position was because she was a female in a male owned and dominated firm. Sue was sure that the only way a woman could get anywhere was to give a man what he wanted and she just wasn't 'that kind of woman.' She never considered that it might be that, although both she and Beth had graduated on the same day from the same school with the same degree she was at the bottom of her class while Beth was near the top. No, it was a man holding her back yet again just as they had all her life. She had to work her way through college because her father hadn't been 'willing' to pay her way. That was why she had estranged herself from her family. When she worked at McDonalds or when she was a checker at the supermarket or when she was a waitress. There was always a man above her holding her back. Even in school she was unable to get better grades because the mostly male professors and teachers wouldn't give her the grades she felt she deserved. In her mind it was always a man keeping her from promotion and success and it was the same at her new job. This time it was Joseph P. Evans the junior partner. He had done the hiring and the placement. It was he that was holding her back. She was sure of it and wanted desperately to level the playing field. In her mind she mulled over that ridiculous time worn phrase, she wanted to 'get even' with Joe Evans for making her the receptionist and not putting her in the paralegal position. Somehow, some way she would bring him down and take her rightful place in the world. There had to be a way and she was determined to find it. Mr. Evans' time was coming she thought as she watched him walk across the lobby towards his office. She had no idea how or what but had faith that a plan would come to her. 'Just you wait Mr. Joseph P. Evans. Just you wait! Somehow, some way, someday...' she thought as she glared at him. Chapter Two: Joseph Phillip Evans Mr. Joseph P. Evans, Joe to his friends, was a very handsome twenty-nine year old lawyer and the youngest junior partner ever in the firm of Rumgay, Hawkins, Potter, and Evans. He stood six foot one inch tall and weighed in just over two hundred pounds of solid muscle. He had a clear medium complexion, dark brown hair, and rugged good looks but he also had a disarmingly charming smile and hazel brown eyes that sparkled when he laughed. Most of the women that worked in the office and that he met found themselves at least attracted to him and he was the fantasy lover of a few. His natural charm and good looks quite often worked to his advantage in court if he could stack the jury with members of the female persuasion. His unusual success in court and ability to draw in wealthy clients were the two main reasons for his partnership at the very young age of twenty-nine. The thing everyone found strange was that currently, Joe wasn't dating or even interested in anyone. He had dated many times in the past but it never seemed to last very long. When Joe wasn't working he spent most of his time at home with his two Black Labs, Winchester and Remington. He lived in a large home on a tree- lined road in a semi-rural area where all the lots were at least two acres. His lot was five acres and mostly covered with trees except for the landscaped area around the house and his vegetable garden and patch of herbs. The garden was his primary hobby during the spring, summer and then the harvest and preserving in the fall when he and his dogs were not out bird hunting. That was his other passion, bird hunting with his two dogs. Joe also liked to work out regularly in his home gym and enjoyed going for a run in the local area with Winchester and Remington at least several times a week. It was during one of his runs shortly after he moved in that he met Arnold, his next door neighbor. They took an instant liking to each other and had become fast friends despite their age difference. Chapter Three; Arnold Leroy Thompson Arnold Thompson, a retired businessman, was eighty-four years old and had been an avid backyard horticulturist. He had maintained a large garden and a vast fruit orchard. His wife had canned, frozen, and dehydrated all that he produced. But then his wife Edith had passed on four years earlier and age had brought on his many debilitating aches and pains that prevented him from working in his beloved garden. Bad knees and sciatica prevented him from bending over and kneeling, arthritis had gnarled all his fingers making them almost useless. Macular degeneration had all but destroyed his vision and prevented him from driving his beloved Ford F- 150 pickup truck. It was so bad some days that he wondered why he bothered getting out of bed in the morning. One of Arnold's few pleasures in life was his time spent with Joe next door. He enjoyed being able to garden again vicariously through Joe and teach him all he knew about growing food and preserving the harvest. Initially he thought it was strange that a young, good looking high powered attorney and law partner would have any interest in such things. At their first meeting, Joe had invited him over for a beer and a good cigar and Arnold had instantly taken him up on his offer. His wife Edith had forbidden both beer and cigars in their house and even after she passed, he just couldn't break her rules. But they never applied beyond the boundaries of their property. Arnold enjoyed a good beer and loved a good cigar. He figured he was over eighty years old. Just how much could either of them shorten his life at this point? Since that first meeting there had been many beers and cigars along with great conversation. Arnold taught Joe all he knew about gardening and occasionally dog sat when Joe had to be out of town on a case he was handling. They became fast friends and Arnold felt that Joe was like the son that he never had. He truly regretted that he and his wife had never been able to have children. Chapter Four; A Plan Devised Six months after Susan McReynolds started at Rumgay, Hawkins, Potter, and Evans she was still the receptionist, still disgruntled, and still had a hate on for Joe Evans. Her attitude had changed little. She still felt that Joe Evans as to blame for her lowly position and was still searching for a way to 'get even.' Then one Wednesday at lunch she overheard a conversation between two women in the next booth at the caf? just down the street from the office. One of the women said, "I swear it's true, Jean. That gypsy down on East End Avenue not only knew my whole life but she knew exactly what my problem was and had a spell to fix it. I read that spell while Dave was asleep six months ago and he hasn't had a drink or raised a hand to me since. He hasn't even raised his voice and he's been loving and thoughtful to boot. He actually helps around the house now. He's a completely changed man." Well that got Sue's attention. She wasn't sure she believed in magic or spells or whatever but figured, 'What the heck. Why ignore a possible opportunity if it's knocking? The worst that could happen is nothing and then I'm right where I am now.' Right after work that day, Sue drove down East End Avenue looking for the gypsy's place. It wasn't easy. She had no idea where on East End Avenue, which side of the street or what the place looked like. It took three trips down the street's entire length before she found it located in a small shabby store front advertising "Palm Reading and Fortunes Told." Sue parked her car and approached the shop expecting to find an old hag dressed in stereotypical bright gypsy garb and way too much large gaudy jewelry. What she found was a rather beautiful young woman with flawless olive skin, long jet black hair and large dark eyes. She was dressed in a conservative skirt and blouse and wore minimal makeup. As Sue walked in the woman looked up and smiled. "Welcome. Hmmm. I see you have some serious problems. Come. Sit down. We will talk about it," she said indicating a chair at a round table in the middle of the room. They both sat down in opposing chairs and Sue started, "I'm not sure... I mean I don't know if..." "Let me make this easy on you. My name is Serena and you are?" "Sue. Susan McReynolds." "So Susan, you believe you have been wronged and wish to exact payment for those wrongs on the person that you feel is responsible, yes?" "Yes. That's right. I want to..." Serena held up her hand and said, "You wish to destroy his life. You wish him to know how you have suffered. And you wish your life to be as is his. I am correct?" 'Well yes but how did you know?" "It is my business to know." Can you actually help me do what I want?" Sue asked. "I have the ability to enable occurrences to happen that will make life as it should be for those concerned considering that one of them has decided to insert magic into their lives. I can ensure that the wicked are punished and the just rewarded. You desire that Susan McReynolds live her life to its fullest and that you will end your life in great old age. That is what you wish to happen, no?" Sue was a bit confused by the wording but it sure sounded right. The part about the wicked being punished and the just rewarded was what she wanted and a full life and old age sounded good too. "Yes. Yes that sounds like what I want. Can you help me?" "Help is not what I do. I aid justice and in doing so it occasionally does help someone. But I can provide you with a spell. It must be spoken softly at midnight on the first evening of the full moon. You must stand outside facing the place where the other person sleeps. Speak the spell three times and then return to your car and wait. All will be as it should be when the sun rises. That will be fifty dollars," Serena said as she held out her hand. Sue looked at Serena's extended hand and saw a folded sheet of paper lying across her palm. "Will you take a check?" she asked. "Not hardly! I will however take cash, credit card or debit card." Sue handed over her credit card and took the folded paper from Serena's hand. 'If this doesn't work I'm going to really feel like an idiot,' she thought to herself. Serena took her card and said, "You feeling like an idiot I have no control over but if you follow my instructions, the spell will work." 'Damn! She can read my mind! I didn't say that out loud, did I?' Sue thought. "Yes I can, and no you didn't," Serena said offhandedly as she rose and went to her machine to process Sue's card. Sue signed the receipt and left the shop without speaking another word. Serena stood and watched her leave. "What a dark aura she has," she mumbled. "I hope all works out well for the others concerned. I doubt there is any hope for her though." Chapter Five; The Plot Thickens Sue went directly home and checked her calendar. "Full moon on June thirteenth. That's Friday night. That's only two days away. I have time to make plans," she spoke aloud through her broad smile. She had reasoned that the gypsy seemed to know everything she wanted so the spell had a fair chance of being real also. Didn't it? Sue took the spell out of her purse and read it through several times. None of the words were familiar to her so she just sounded them out in her head. She was afraid to pronounce them aloud not knowing what might happen. When she felt well enough acquainted with the spell she carefully folded it up and placed it back in her purse and then took a pad and pen out of the desk and started writing down notes. She was a very organized person for all her other faults. When she was satisfied, she completed her nightly routine and curled up in bed to sleep through a very contented night. She awoke to her alarm the next morning and promptly called in sick. She decided that she would take off Thursday and Friday to prepare. Besides, she didn't feel like facing Mr. Joseph P. Evans knowing that she would be in his place at the rising of the sun on Saturday. If however, she had gone into work she would have known that Joe was leaving that morning for New York to negotiate a last minute plea bargain on Friday and wouldn't return until early Saturday morning. Chapter Six; Things Unplanned While Sue was talking to the gypsy the previous evening, Joe was packing and making arrangements with Arnold to spend Thursday and Friday night at the house watching Winchester and Remington. "I really do appreciate this Arnold. Having you watch the dogs is far better than putting them in a kennel. They stay in their own home and eat their regular food. I sure wish you'd let me pay you for this," Joe said as he shook Arnold's hand. "I stocked up the fridge with your favorite beer and you know where my humidor is." "I surely do, Joe and this is a treat for me. Good beer, great cigars and more channels than I have on the satellite. Life doesn't get much better at my age. Paying me on top of that would make me feel guilty. I'll be over tomorrow morning bright and early. You have a good trip and I'll see you Saturday morning." All went well. Sue made her devious plans, Joe left for New York on time, and Arnold settled into Joe's house watching HBO with the dogs curled up on the floor at his feet. At ten thirty pm on Friday, Sue dressed in a set of dark blue sweats and tennis shoes. At eleven pm Friday evening, Sue grabbed her purse, checked the contents one more time and left her apartment after one last look. She had completely cleaned the place and had done the dishes and all of her laundry. She didn't want Joe seeing the place a mess. She shrugged her shoulders and thought to herself, 'I guess it's just a female thing. Soon Joe will be doing the cleaning and laundry.' as she walked out the door and took one last look at the envelope on the table with "Mr. Joseph P. Evans" neatly written on it. Sue smugly thought, 'Just wait until he reads that and knows what I've done.' At the same time, Arnold was settling his weary bones into the bed in one of the guest bedrooms of Joe's house. The two dogs were on the floor at the foot of the bed. Unlike his normal bed time routine, Arnold dozed off quite easily thinking about the considerable dent he had made in Joe's beer supply. Sue arrived at Joe's house at eleven fifty PM and parked at the curb directly in front. She removed the spell and a small pen light from her purse and tested the light once again to make sure it worked. Switching on the dome light, she silently read the spell again several times. She glanced at her watch, eleven fifty-eight. Sue switched off the dome light and got out of her car. She walked to the curb and turned on the penlight. Eleven fifty-nine and thirty-five seconds. She glanced at the full moon then unfolded the paper with the spell on it and then focused on her watch. Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. She read the spell carefully out loud three times, folded the paper, and returned to her car to wait. She thought how shocked Joe would be when he woke up in her body in the morning. Moments later Sue was asleep, a slight smile on her lips. As the light of the morning sky crept across the neighborhood and there was a stirring in the car at the curb but it wasn't Susan McReynolds that opened her eyes. At least it didn't appear to be her. Susan looked out through the windshield at the hazy distorted neighborhood. She strained and blinked her eyes several times but it did not improve. Everything was still hazy, distorted and had pieces missing. Her back ached and her right leg had a burning pain running down it. She gripped the steering wheel and winced at the sharp pain in her fingers. 'Oh god! I hurt all over. What the hell happened?' She reached for the door handle and worked through the pain in her hand as she pulled on it and the latch released. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she swung her feet out of the car. 'My feet! They feel like they are being crushed by my shoes. What's wrong with me?' Painfully she stood up barely able to catch her breath and made for the sidewalk steadying herself on the car. Sue had barely gotten up over the curb when an incredible pain exploded in her chest and down her left arm and she collapsed in the grass. Thirty-five minutes later, Joe drove down his street and was stopped by a sheriff's deputy just short of his house. There were red and blue lights flashing all over. There was a cop car, an ambulance, fire rescue and two full sized fire engines blocking the street and what looked like at least half the neighborhood standing on his front lawn. Joe looked up at the deputy and asked what happened. "I'm not sure but it looks like an old man had a heart attack." Joe strained to see and caught a glimpse of the man on the ground. "Arnold!" he shouted as he jumped from his car. "You know him?" the deputy asked. "Yes. He's my neighbor!" Joe said as he ran over to him. The paramedics were working hard on him. They had just cut off the sweat top when they looked up at each other for just a moment and one said to the other. "You just never know what you will find. By the looks of him I never figured to find him wearing panties and a bra under his sweats." The bra hooked in the front so they unhooked and removed it and pulled off the sweat pants. They worked hard for quite some time and it seemed like they were having some success when "Arnold" opened his eyes and was able to dimly make out Joe standing over him. "Mr. Evans!" After that there was a cry of pain, a gurgle and the last breath left his body. The paramedic that spoken earlier said, "You want to call it?" "Yeah. TOD at eight sixteen am," the other paramedic said glancing at his watch. Joe watched in shock and grief as Arnold was unceremoniously loaded onto a gurney and into the ambulance. Slowly they cleaned up and packed things away and then left. The neighbors faded away to their own homes and lives and Joe moved his car into the driveway and headed for the house. He felt numb in both mind and body. Many thoughts went through his mind. 'Arnold used the firm to make his will. Why was he out on the sidewalk? I'll have to call up Susan and have her pull his file on Monday. What about the dogs? Panties and a bra? What the fuck is with that?' He knew the dogs were fine as soon as he slipped his key in the back door. He could hear their barking and the scrabbling of their claws on the kitchen floor. Chapter Seven; Confusion Ensues At the sound of the barking, Arnold's eyes shot open and he sat bolt upright in bed. He was in a complete state of confusion as multiple neural inputs conflicted with his known state of being in his brain. He could see...clearly! He had no pain! Something was attached to his chest and it was moving of its own volition! Long dark hair was falling across his face and a pain free hand shot up and flicked it out of his eyes with a practiced motion that he had never made before in his life! Both hands moved up to grab whatever it was moving around on his chest under his t-shirt. They knew immediately what they had a hold of but it did not compute. All of these mixed sensations hit his brain together and it went into overload. He screamed and fainted dead away. Joe had just opened the back door when he heard the scream. He followed the dogs as they ran for the spare bedroom. After a morning of chaos his confusion was further compounded when he found the office receptionist, Susan McReynolds, dressed only in boxers and a t-shirt lying unconscious sprawled across the bed. "What the fuck is going on here!" he yelled as he moved quickly to the bed. There was no blood and a quick check of her pulse told him she was very much alive. He heard her groan and her eyes flickered open. She squinted as she looked up at him, "Joe? You're back? What's happened to me? My voice!" Then her eyes shot open and she said, "Joe. I've got tits!" and started to pass out again. "Susan! Don't you dare pass out on me! What the hell are you doing here? What happened to Arnold?" he said as he shook her. "That's what I want to know. What happened to me? Why have I got long hair and tits? Who's Susan?" "Who's Susan? You're Susan! Susan McReynolds." "Bullshit! I know who I am. I'm Arnold Thompson. Your next door neighbor! Quit holding me down! Let me get up!" "Arnold Thompson died on my front lawn not ten minutes ago. You're Susan and you work in my office. Now cut the crap and tell me what's going on here." Joe demanded as he got off the bed and let her sit up. He watched as she rose to a sitting position. She immediately grabbed both of her breasts and said, "Holy fuck! I really do have tits! This is impossible! I want a mirror. Where the fuck are your mirrors?" Joe pointed over to the sliding mirror closet doors. "Right there." She got off the bed and turned to the mirror. "Holy shit! What the fuck did you do to me? I'm a fuckin' broad! Oh. Whoa," she said as she started to falter. Joe grabbed her and led her back to the bed. "What did I do? All I did was come home to find complete chaos. My good friend and neighbor, Arnold dead in my front yard and my receptionist half naked in boxers and a t- shirt in my guest bedroom claiming to be my dead neighbor. And you ask what I did?" "Wait! You said I'm dead? I died in your front yard? Oh fuck!" "Not you! Arnold. My neighbor. You... I mean 'he' died of a heart attack I think." "But Joe... I'm not dead. I'm right here. I'm Arnold but somehow I've been turned into a broad. Joe, I taught you everything you know about gardening. I drank your beer and smoked your cigars. I'm Arnold! I don't even know who this Susan person is. Shit! You gotta help me. Please..." and she started to tear up. "Oh fuck! Now I'm gonna start bawlin' like some emotional damn broad!" At this point, Joe's sharp lawyer's mind started to clear and finally started to put things together. Susan, who claimed to be Arnold was in the guest bed wearing boxers and a t-shirt. Arnolds clothes were laid out on the back of a chair across the bedroom. Her choice of words and manner of speech was Arnold's, not Susan's. Arnold had been outside wearing too small sweats, a bra and panties. When Arnold had momentarily regained consciousness he had called him "Mr. Evans," not Joe like he always did. Was it actually possible that it really was Arnold sitting there on his guest bed? "I think we seriously need to talk... Arnold?" Joe said looking at the woman sitting there staring at her hands, feeling her breasts, holding out her long hair, and just generally checking herself out like she had never seen any of it before. She looked up at him like he had just made the dumbest statement ever and said, "Well no shit! Do ya think? Do you actually get by in court with profound statements like that?" Joe told her to wait where she was and went to his bedroom to get a short silk robe. His sister had given it to him for his birthday several years earlier but he never wore it. He returned and handed it to her saying, "Here, you can wear this. It's about all I have that will sort of fit you but it will make things less... distracting." She stood, took the robe and put it on. It went past her knees and almost wrapped around her slim figure twice but when she tied the belt around her slim waist it was held securely in place and provided the cover that Joe needed to maintain his concentration. "Good. Let's go down to the kitchen for some coffee. We can talk down there," Joe said with a sweeping arm gesture towards the bedroom door. He watched as Susan, or Arnold, or whoever reached up and pulled out her long hair from under the back of the robe. "Damn this shit itches on my back! How do women put up with it?" Joe just stood there and stared. He had been in lust with Susan from the moment she first walked into his office for an interview. He hired her without a very thorough examination and regretted it later. She was cute as hell and great to look at but inside she was a miserable person. She had a sour disposition and always looked at him like he beat little children and tortured small animals. No one at the office liked her. Only Beth seemed to be somewhat close to her. And now this vision was standing in his guest room in a silk robe fluffing her long gorgeous hair out from under the robe which was doing a great job of accentuating every curve of her female form. "Sounds great to me," she said. How about you make it Irish? I could use a couple shots of that great Irish Whisky you have in your bar and a cigar wouldn't hurt either." "Christ, Arnold! It's just after nine in the morning. Don't you think it's a bit early for whiskey and cigars?" "Tell ya what Joe, if you wake up someday in a young woman's body I'll let you decide what's conventional. Right now I need a drink!" she said as she walked out the door and down the stairs to the kitchen. Joe followed and noticed that she walked like a truck driver but with a little something extra. He liked the view. Chapter Eight; Sorting out the Facts; A short time later they sat down at the kitchen table. Joe with his coffee and a croissant and Arnold with his Irish coffee and the bottle close at hand. Joe told Arnold all that he remembered about Sue from her personnel files. She was twenty-four, single, lived alone. As best he could remember she had no relatives living nearby. She had refused the firms life insurance option saying she had no one she cared about to list as beneficiary. "Did she have a boyfriend?" Arnold asked. "I sincerely doubt that. She had all the people skills of a Wolverine and was about as cuddly as a porcupine. She seemed to hate all men. Especially me. I assigned her as our receptionist but was seriously thinking about moving her to files and archives to get her out of the public area of the office." "Was she a lezzy?" Joe smiled and answered, "I'm pretty sure she wasn't. Although I thought that too early on but after getting to know her better, I don't think so. She was just a hard-nosed miserable bitch." They talked for about an hour trying to figure out what had happened and why but were just as clueless as when they started. The only progress they made was that Joe was completely convinced that, as impossible as it sounded, he was talking to Arnold in Susan's body. As far as how or why, no answers. "OK Arnold. We're getting nowhere. The only things we know for certain are that you're Arnold. At least inside your head. And we know that you are in Susan's body and that we think Susan was in your body when it died out front this morning. Probably a heart attack brought on by the shock of finding herself in your body. I think the only place we will have a chance of finding answers is at Susan's apartment if we can get in." "If you know where she lives, I can get in. I have a set of picks in my workshop and know how to use them. But I don't have anything to wear. I can't very well go out like this." "I can get her address from the personnel files at the office and I just had a thought. When they cleaned up after you died they threw everything in my trash can out on the street. They don't collect the garbage until late afternoon so they should still be there." "You want me to wear the clothes I died in? Oh what the hell. Why not?" Joe went out to the street and looked in the trash. He pulled out the sweat pants and top, bra and tennis shoes. The top was cut to ribbons and went back in the trash but the rest was fine. He noticed a car parked at his curb and recalled it was there when he came home but it didn't really register more than that. When he got back into the house he gave Arnold the clothes and said, "I'm going into the office to look at Susan's file. I'll be back in about an hour. You make yourself to home and get dressed. You might find a shirt you can use in my bedroom." "OK. I think I'll grab a shower too." "Fine. Use the one in my room. There's soap, shampoo and towels in there. Be back soon" he said as he left. As Joe pulled out of the driveway he noticed the car was still there at his front curb. 'That's unusual to have a car parked for that long in this area. Maybe I'll check it out if it's still there when I get back,' Joe thought. Chapter Nine; Arnold Checks Herself Out Meanwhile, Arnold went up to the master bedroom and looked around. He stared into the sliding mirror doors of Joe's closet, Ran his fingers through the long chestnut brown hair. Stared at the cute face and took note of how the light refracted off the silk robe accentuating the prominent twin bulges on his chest. He took hold of the sash that held the robe closed and then looked into the mirror again. "Well Arnold, Are you ready for this? Fuck no, but it's gotta happen sometime," he said aloud answering his own question. He turned away from the mirror, pulled the sash loose and shrugged off the robe. A moment later he had shucked the t-shirt and dropped the boxers in a pool at his feet. He stepped out of the boxers and then turned to the mirror again. "Holy fuckin' shit!" he said in a loud whisper. "She's fuckin gorgeous! Damn!" Arnold turned from side to side and ran his hands up and down his new body. It was so soft and no wrinkles, no love handles, no pot belly. He continued to twist and turn and stare at the beautiful woman reflected in the mirror. He hadn't really made the mental connection that he was actually looking at himself. His male mind was checking out a fine looking specimen of naked female flesh. He was looking at himself as he would look at a woman in a porno movie or an adult magazine or a stripper. He watched as she ran her hands all over her body and cupped her beautiful firm full breasts. He watched as she moved one hand down to her nether regions and slowly ran a finger between the lips of her vaginal opening as the fingers of her other hand manipulated one of her erect nipples. His eyelids dropped as he located her clitoris and massaged it and he heard her moan with pleasure. His hands were on memory autopilot. He was two beings in one. His hands were doing what Arnold knew how to do and she was feeling the results. Her head slowly tilted back and her eyes closed completely as she moved closer to fulfillment. Then, just as the woman in the mirror was about to orgasm, it all ended. Arnold's eyes shot open as the realization that it wasn't a porno he was looking at. It was his refection in a mirror. His mind suddenly connected to the fact that he was on the inside of that woman. That he was that woman. He felt a wave of nausea and then dizziness wash over him and he leaned against the mirrored doors of the closet. The cold glass against his flesh brought him back from almost fainting again for the second time that day. "I'm a girl. I really am a girl, or young woman. Whatever. How many times have I wished that I was young again? That I didn't have the aches and pains of old age, the scars of a long life. But never, never ever did I wish I was a girl, a woman, a female." Arnold backed up and sat down on the end of the bed and continued to stare at the reflection of the woman in the mirror, his reflection. "It's my reflection. I am that woman. I don't know how but I may be her for the rest of my life. How long will that be? How long will I live now? Will I live to be eighty-four again? I'd be one hundred and sixty-eight. Shit!" Arnold quickly scanned through his life. He was born June fourteenth the year before the stock market crashed in 1929. Grew up during the Great Depression. Was drafted and fought in Korea and then went to college on the GI Bill. Went to work driving truck and then started his own business which grew into a large corporation. He married and lived with his wife, Edith, for fifty-two years until she died. He made many friends over the years but most of them were passed on now and until he met Joe his life had been very lonely. He considered that he had a good life. Nothing remarkable but a good life. Arnold looked up again at the reflection. His reflection? No, her reflection. "What does life have in store for you? Can you face another entire lifetime?" he asked the girl in the mirror. "You may be young missy but you have an old mind and a lot of life has been lived behind those beautiful green eyes. Can you do it all again?" he said with a huge sigh. Arnold's deep thoughts were interrupted by a sudden urgent and familiar internal pressure. Another sigh and Arnold rose and walked to the bathroom and stood in front of the toilet and reached down to his groin. Nothing! "Shit!" he said as he turned around and sat down. "Oh fuck!" he yelled as his butt hit the cold porcelain of the toilet and he jumped back up, put the seat down and sat again. He closed his eyes and just relaxed, 'I sure hope this body can figure out how to piss cause I have no clue,' he was thinking to himself when a sudden gush of urine hit the water in the bowl. When he finished Arnold looked down at the wet mess between his legs and reached for the toilet paper. "This is fucked up!" he cursed as he got up and turned on the shower. Arnold felt much calmer now but knew he had a lot more thinking to do. He was handling his transformation far better than a younger man probably would have. Maybe it was the adaptability gained during a long life or maybe the wisdom granted to many with age. Maybe it was because his man parts hadn't really worked for many years so there was no real loss as there would be for a younger man. Whatever it was, he had sort of accepted the fact that he had changed and was now a young woman.\; at least that's what he thought. What concerned him was could he unlearn eighty-four years of being a male and learn what he needed to know to live as a female? 'Oh well, what the hell. It's not like I have a lot of options,' he thought as he stepped into the shower. 'Now this is different,' he thought as he stepped into the stream hot water. It felt different on his more sensitive skin. He smiled as he looked down at his now hairless chest and saw the two mounds that seemed to defy gravity. He felt s shiver run through him as one of the jets of water hit a nipple. 'Oh god is this going to be so different.' Arnold shampooed his hair then rinsed it out. He saw some conditioner and remembered his wife telling him she had to use it if she wanted to get a brush through her hair after a shower. "What the fuck. In for a penny and all that shit," he said aloud as he smiled and applied it to his long hair. While the conditioner was doing its thing he stepped out of the water stream and soaped up his body. The feel of the slick soap on his soft smooth skin was absolutely wonderful. The long nails of his left hand brushed a nipple and played with it as the right hand sought out another erogenous zone. It slipped between his legs an found its target. His hand remembered exactly what it had done to make his wife reach orgasm and it went to work. Again his hands were working their magic on a woman's body and his male mind was enjoying the experience as his female body was enjoying the sensations. The dual stimulation didn't take long to achieve the desired results. Arnold leaned back against the shower wall just as his knees weakened and gave away. He slowly slid down the wall as the waves of orgasm overcame him and he sat on the floor feeling like he was just a pool of boneless flesh. "Now that was un-fucking-believable! Wow! That could get habit forming." After a short while, Arnold's breathing returned to about normal and he felt a bit more steady. He pulled himself up using the hand bar and decided that was enough exploration for the time being. He did a final rinse and got out, grabbed a towel, and dried off. "Damn Joe! You need to get better towels. These are like trying to dry off with 80 grit sandpaper," he cursed and started patting rather than rubbing. The hair was another whole story. He just couldn't get it dry with the towel. "After sixty years of being bald I finally learn to appreciate it. Screw it! It will dry on its own," he grumbled as he tossed the towel on the floor and went into the bedroom. He pulled on the sweat pants and sat on the bed to put on the tennis shoes. Getting up he saw the bra and debated with himself, 'Do I really want to wear that thing? The way these things bounce and jiggle I guess I better at least try or I'll wind up beating myself half to death. I'm going to have to eventually anyway,' he reasoned. After fifty-two years of marriage it was far from an unfamiliar object. He had removed many of them in his time as well as doing the laundry and folding them up afterwards but he had never tried putting one on. He recognized it as a front hook type and thanked the bra gods for that small favor. Envisioning many years of watching his wife dress, he got his arms into the straps and then leaned forward and wrapped the bra around in front himself capturing the two flesh mounds in the cups. Then he stood up and fastened the small hooks. A few minor adjustments as to placement of the straps and band and it was done. He smiled and said aloud, "Oh wow. My first bra!" while pushing out his chest mimicking a neighbor girl from many years ago as she showed off to his wife. A trip to Joe's closet yielded a blue dress shirt which was a bit on the large size but was as good as it was going to get. He looked in the mirror and worked his fingers through the long hair to give it some small semblance of order and then checked himself out. 'Not bad,' he thought. 'Seen worse.' Chapter Ten; More Discoveries Arnold heard Joe's car pull into the driveway so he went down stairs to the kitchen door and stepped out on the porch. As Joe got out of his car, Arnold did a spin with his arms outstretched and asked, "Well? Whatcha think? I clean up pretty well, huh?" Joe looked up at the smiling young brunette and felt a momentary stirring deep inside. He shook it off quickly and said, "You look great. I see you've made a few mental adjustments since I left." "Yeah. I figure there ain't fuck all I can do about this so I better accept it and adjust. I think it's one of the advantages of living and adapting for eighty-four years. You learn to accept that which you cannot change. Even if I knew how to change back I certainly can't go back to where I came from unless I want to be dead and I just have a feeling that would probably suck worse than being a broad," he answered with a small laugh. "Yeah. That would be my guess too. Say. Did you notice that car out front?" Joe asked changing the subject. "It was there when I got home from the airport and it's still there. I think I'll check it out. I don't like strange cars parked in the neighborhood. Especially in front of my house." "I'll go with you." Arnold said as he jumped off the porch and walked next to Joe towards the front yard. "Feeling pretty spry for your age there Arnold. How's it feel?" "It's fuckin' amazing! I don't have any aches or pains. I can walk, jump, move, breathe, and best of all, I can see clearly again! It's even better than I remember. The only bad part is that if I actually stay this way I know exactly what's ahead for me as I get older and it sucks big time." Yeah. That's true but you also know all the mistakes you made and get to try something different this time. Like maybe eating better and taking better care of yourself?" "Well this sure is pretty damn different," Arnold exclaimed as he grabbed his breasts and shook them. "I have no idea how in the hell I'm going to live in this body. I don't know fuck all about girl shit." "Well you might start by tempering you language a bit. You sound just like Arnold. A guy that grew up in the trucking business and built a large trucking firm. But you look like Susan McReynolds, a beautiful young woman. The incongruity will confuse people and generally speaking, even the most liberated of women don't use that type of language. Just think about how your wife used to express herself. So, there's your first adjustment." "Shit. You're right. But how the hell... How am I going the change a lifetime of habit like that?" "If you were in mixed company did you speak that way?" "Fuck no! I mean, of course not. That wouldn't have been proper. Oh. I see what you mean. I just have to talk like there's women around all the time." Joe laughed and said, "Well Arnold, with the way you are now there will be a woman around all the time." "Gee, thanks for the reminder. I almost forgot. That the car? I don't recognize it." Arnold said nodding at the car as they rounded the front corner of the house. "Yeah. Subaru Outback. Probably owned by a tree hugging vegetarian. That's their kind of car." "Could be worse. Could be a Prius." Arnold said smiling. Joe went to the front passenger's door and looked into the front seat of the car. "Hey. There's a purse on the front seat." He tried the door and it opened. Joe looked at Arnold and then up and down the street. "What the hell," he said as he leaned in and grabbed the purse. He went around to the hood and started to check out the contents. The first thing he pulled out was a sheet of paper with some notes on it. He read "midnight," "full moon," and "front of house," but that was all that was on the paper. The rest was blank. The next thing he pulled out was one of those long woman's wallets that hold ID, cash, cards, family photos, checkbook, pen, notebook, spare keys, and so on. He opened it up and looked at the driver's license. "Oh fuck!" "Hey! Watch your language. There's a lady present," Arnold joked. "So? What did ya find?" "This is your car. I mean it's Susan's car. I guess it's your car now. And this is your wallet and purse," Joe said putting everything back in and handing it to Arnold. "Wow! Hey. Here are the keys. Guess I better move it into my garage before I get a ticket." He said as he started for the driver's side. "No! I mean you can't. It's not your garage. That's not your house. You're dead. You can't go in there. The estate will be closed until your will, I mean Arnold's will is probated and your heirs, Arnold's heirs, are notified and your property disposed of. If you get caught in the house you could be arrested. I grabbed your will while I was at the office so I can notify the executor of your death." Arnold smiled at Joe. "You haven't read my will yet, have you?" Joe shook his head. "No. You specifically excluded me when you asked the firm to write your will. I figured being neighbors you didn't want me knowing the details of your will." "That's right Joe. I didn't want you to know because I knew you would pitch a fit. I have no family left. My sister is gone and I have no clue where her kids are. All my old friends are dead and I have no favorite charities so that just left me with one choice... you. The house, contents, property, bank accounts, stocks, everything is left to you. You have been my best friend the last five years. In the will it says it is yours to do with as you please. I wanted you to have it all." "You're nuts! I can't take your house and all your stuff. I have a house. I have stuff. I don't need or want yours." "Fine. Then give it back to me. Then I can park my car in the garage." "Oh that would look great. I inherit your estate and give it to the receptionist in my office." "Well we're between a rock and a hard place regardless. I'm sure the police and fire department probably made note of the car being here so it may well come out that your receptionist was here at the time of the incident. Explain that." "Hmmm. I have an idea. Get your stuff out of the car. We'll talk inside." Chapter Eleven; Another Plan Hatched Joe went to his car and grabbed his briefcase and headed to his home office. He pulled out Arnold's file and read over his will. 'Pretty standard stuff. It was their regular format with the blanks filled in. Joe pulled the read/write CD out of the file and slipped it into his computer and brought up the file. A quick check of Susan's personnel file and a few changes later and he hit print. When the pages came out of the printer he discarded the last page and put the last page from the file in its place. It was done. When Arnold came in, Joe showed him Arnold Thompson's modified will. "I changed the beneficiary. Susan McReynolds now inherits your entire estate, all of your stocks and bonds, and the retirement income from your investments and I'm your executor. I replaced all of the pages except the last page with the signatures and notary. I'll go back to the office and replace this in your file. If you have any copies in your house you need to destroy them. The lawyer that prepared your will is no longer with the firm so that shouldn't be an issue. Your only problem now is you'll have to pay the inheritance taxes on your estate." "You mean I inherit my own shit? And have to pay taxes on it?" "No. Not exactly. Susan McReynolds inherits your shit and has to pay taxes on it." "And just how are you going to explain that?" "Simple. Two years ago when Arnold came in to have his will done he met you, Susan McReynolds. He asked you out and the two of you have been dating ever since. You spent the night with Arnold last night. This morning you asked him to get your purse from your car. He had a heart attack while he was doing that. See? It all works out." "And why was I... Why was Arnold wearing Susan's sweats and bra and panties? Explain that one away." "Simple again. You were both into kinky sex." "Now that's a laugh. I wasn't into any kind of sex let alone kinky sex for the last...well a lot of years. Little Arnold hasn't... Well never mind that too." "Yeah but only Arnold knew that and he's dead. If anyone needs to know what happened they'll have to ask you. You're the only witness." "But I'm..." "You're Susan McReynolds. Arnold Thompson died on my front lawn at eight sixteen this morning. Now, go to your house by the back door, get any old copies of your will and bring them back here. Then we'll drive to your apartment. I have your address. When we get there we can find you some decent clothes, get you dressed and we'll see if we can find any answers in the apartment. We can also pack up some clothes and other stuff that you might need. Then we will swing by my office and I'll return these files. After that we'll come back here, go over what we learned and see what, if anything, develops. We need to put the clothes Arnold was wearing back in the garbage can. Now grab your purse and let's get going. We don't have a lot of time. Chapter Twelve; From Plan to Action A short time later, Joe and 'Susan' went out to 'her' car and left for 'her' apartment. As they drove, they talked. "What do you expect to find at her apartment, Joe?" "I don't expect to find anything. I 'hope' to find an explanation as to what has happened to you and why. I think you also need to get a few of Susan's things together and bring them back to your place so it looks like you have been spending some time there. That will reinforce your story. If nothing happens today you will need to return to the apartment tonight. That is where you live and where you will have to stay until your estate is settled and you have legal possession of your house again. I'll get Arnold's will out of the files on Monday and start the process going." "Gaaaagh! Susan, Arnold; you, him; yours, his; me, her! Shit! I'm confused as hell. I don't know who the fuck I am anymore! You refer to me as Arnold and then you tell me I'm Susan. You tell me Arnold's dead and then you call me Arnold. Make up my fuckin' mind, will ya." "Sorry. Your right. I'm confused too. OK. From now on Arnold is dead and you are Susan McReynolds and only Susan McReynolds. Alright? That should help." "Sounds logical to me. I don't like it, but it makes sense." "Yeah. And I just had a thought. There's no way you can just step right into Susan's life. You'll have to call in sick on Monday, probably even longer. Maybe the rest of the week. You'll be grieving the loss of your boyfriend and unable to work as you make arrangements and such. Oh shit! We have to make Arnold's funeral arrangements. You'll have to take a long leave. I'll approve it. Then I can teach you about your job while your off. Take you to the office at night and get you familiar with the place and people. Yeah. That would work. We have a lot to do. Better start making a list." "Yeah. And just who is going to teach me all the girl shit I need to know? I was married for over fifty years but that doesn't mean I know woman stuff like clothes and makeup. At least not from the inside. I can't do makeup or hair or any of the other dumb assed things that women do to fancy themselves up. I know what looks good. I just don't know how to get there from here and I don't think you're going to be a lot of help either." "Damn. You're right. Neither of us knows anything that will help make you be presentable in public. Especially at the office. Let me think on that one. Now, just keep going down this street. Susan's... I mean your place should be just up the road a bit. Yeah. There it is." Susan parked the car and they got out to find her apartment. When they located it Susan went through the keys on her key ring to find the right one. "Why the hell do women have so much shit on their key rings? What the hell is with all this crap and do-dads?" They found the key and went in. "Ok Sue. You check the bedroom and I'll look around out here." "OK." Joe started to look around and it didn't take long to find the envelope propped up on the table with his name on it. He opened it up and started to read then stopped. "Hey Arnold! I mean, hey Sue! I think I found something." Sue poked her head out of the bedroom. "What?" "It's a letter that Sue left for me. Had my name on it. Listen to this." He said as he started to read the letter. "Dear Mr. Evans. Or should I just call you Joe now that you will be getting to know me a lot better. Better yet, I think I will just call you Sue. ROFLMAO. Well if you're reading this I guess the spell worked and you are now in my body and will live my life. Good luck with that. I am now Joe Evans and I have the wealth and the power. I can hire and fire. I can put people in menial jobs that are beneath them and make them suffer the humiliation. Yes, now I can do that and believe me, I will make you suffer for what you put me through. You will now be the lowly receptionist. You can answer the phones, fetch files and coffee. You can do the yes sir, no sir, thank you sir, and right away sir routine. You can spend all the spare money you have to keep yourself looking nice just to keep a job where people treat you like shit. Welcome to my life Joe Evans. I'm even going to be a little nice to you. Attached is a list of all my bills, passwords, accounts, address book and all that sort of stuff. I included the dates when things are due. I even let you know when you can expect your monthly visitor. LOL Have fun with that too. All my worst to you, Joe Evans, :)" and it was signed Joseph P. Evans FKA Susan McReynolds. "Holy shit Joe. This is from fuckin' magic? Some sort of spell? She was a damn witch? Why me instead of you though?" "I think I see what happened, Sue. She cast the spell in front of my house thinking I was asleep in there but I was in New York. You... I mean, Arnold was in my house. I think she expected it to be a mind transfer and to wake up as me in my bed. Instead she got a body transfer and woke up as Arnold in her car." "Fuck. No wonder she had a heart attack. She woke up in her own car as a half blind, arthritic, crippled, eighty-four year old man that could barely move or catch his breath instead of as you. Heh, sorta poetic justice for a nasty, conniving bitch. Huh? So now what? Wait! What was that part about a monthly visitor? She didn't mean that... I mean I'm not going to have... Oh shit!" "Afraid so Arn... ah Sue. Just look at it as a package deal. You have the package and all that goes with the deal." "Oh fuck!" Yeah, that too if you want to but what say we grab some stuff from the bedroom and bathroom that will get you by for now and we continue with our plan. See if you can find a suitcase or something." Sue found a suitcase in the back of the closet and opened it on the bed. They both started to randomly put things into it. Sue shied away from the dresses and skirts and went for the jeans, t-shirts and a few blouses that looked like shirts. Joe was a bit more practical and grabbed a few things he remembered Sue wearing to the office. He also packed away an assortment of lingerie and then hit the bathroom for makeup, bath stuff, and things he thought Sue might be needing. "That looks good enough for now. We can come back here any time we need to. You will probably wind up living here in a few days. At least until after your estate is settled. Let's get to the office and then back home." Chapter Thirteen; Back at Joe's Place They left the apartment, locked up and headed for Joe's office where he replaced the files he had borrowed earlier and dropped off the files from his trip to New York to explain his being in the office on a Saturday if anyone inquired. When they got back to Joe's, Sue went to the bedroom and changed. She stripped and put on a pair of plain white cotton panties, a plain white bra and then got into a pair of blue jeans, a long sleeved blue blouse and a pair of running shoes over cotton socks. When she finished she went out and dropped the sweats and tennis shoes and stuff in the trash can out front. Back inside Sue looked at Joe and said, "Ok. That's done. So now what councilor?" "While you were changing I did some thinking about our conversation earlier. The one about you learning girl stuff." He said as he looked her up and down and thought, 'Damn she sure looks good in those tight jeans. A little work on her hair and some makeup and...' He stopped his thoughts short and said, "Ah, where was I?" "I think you were checking out my ass but I can't be sure. Haven't got a lot of experience in that area." "Damn. Sorry Arn... ah, Sue. Anyway, I was thinking that neither of us knows anything about that sort of thing and if you don't mind me letting my sister in on your situation, if she'll believe me, then she could teach you all the girl stuff you would ever need to know. I could give her a call and ask her to come right over." "She's owns the string of beauty salons in the area, right? That would be perfect. Embarrassing as hell, but perfect if she'll believe us and will do it. I'm hungry. What ya got to eat?" "I think she will on both counts. She's way into that occult stuff so there's a good chance she'll believe us. I'll call her up now." As Joe was headed for the phone he said, "If you're hungry, check the fridge. I think there's a leftover... Shit, Sue!" as he happened to glance out the window and saw a county sheriff's car pull up to the curb in front of Arnold's house. " "Isn't that a small dog? Doesn't sound very appetizing." "No time for jokes. The cops just pulled up at your house. I mean Arnold's house. Get your story straight while I go talk to them. And remember that you're the grieving girlfriend if he talks to you." Then, smiling he looked back at her and said, "And yes, it's a small cute, cuddly little dog. Good one," as he went out the kitchen door. Joe walked over to the county deputy as he was approaching Arnold's house. "Can I help you?" Joe asked. As the deputy turned to him, Joe recognized him as the one he had spoken to earlier that morning. "Yes. I'm Deputy Jacobs. Is this the residence of Arnold Thompson?" the deputy asked. Then recognizing Joe he said, "Didn't we meet this morning when you drove up and I stopped you?" "Yes. I remember you too. To answer your first question, this is, or was, Arnold's house. As you know, he died earlier this morning. There's no one home right now." "This morning I was told by other neighbors that he lived alone. Dispatch sent me over to do a check inside and then make sure the house is secured. Is there someone else that lives here?" "Not really. His wife died years ago but his girlfriend, Susan spends some time here. Mostly weekends. She was here this morning when he died. She's over at my house right now. She's quite upset." "Can I talk to her? I need to make a report. It would help if I knew the circumstances prior to his death." "I don't think that will be a problem but go easy. I'll take you to her," Joe answered. Then as an aside he added, "Not that it's necessarily relevant, but I feel I should tell you that my name is Joseph Evans and I was not only Arnold's neighbor bit also his attorney and the executor of his estate. I'm also Susan's attorney and employer," Joe explained. "Thanks. I don't think a lawyer will be called for," the deputy said smiling. "This is just a routine report right now." Joe led the deputy to his kitchen door. When they entered he introduced him to Sue. "Sue, this is Deputy Jacobs. He'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind." Sue, looking properly bereaved, looked up at the deputy. "What do you need to know?" Deputy Jacobs was momentarily taken aback when he saw a beautiful young woman sitting at the kitchen table rather than the elderly woman he expected to meet. He recovered quickly and took out his notebook and asked, "Well first I need you full name and address," he started. Sue just pulled he license out of her wallet and handed it to him. After he handed it back he asked, "Can you tell me the events that took place prior to Mr. Thompson's death?" Sue, playing it to the hilt started to speak but appeared upset and spoke with difficulty and a quaver in her voice. "I spent last night with Arnold. I spend... spent most weekends with him. This morning we, well we... I mean Arnold and I we..." "I understand," Deputy Jacobs said. "Can you explain the way he was dressed and why he was outside?" "I needed my purse. I accidentally left it in my car. He went out to get it for me. He was wearing my clothes. It was a joke. A game. Oh Arnold! I'm so sorry you, you... Ohhhh... It's all my fault." she wailed and buried her head in her hands and wept. The deputy looked extremely uncomfortable and closed his notebook. "I think I have enough information. Thank you for your help ma'am." He looked at Joe and nodded his head towards the door. Joe followed him out to the drive way while Sue continued to cry and sob. Outside the deputy turned to Joe and said, "I think I have enough information for my report. Just one more question. Can you tell me why her car was parked in front of your house?" "Yes. Arnold was dog sitting for me while I was out of town as he usually did. I would guess that Sue spent the night here instead of Arnold's." "Very good. Sounds logical. Now, because Miss McReynolds isn't a resident of the Thompson house, I'll have to secure it pending notification of the heirs and you as Mr. Thompson's lawyer and executor. I'm sure you understand. Does she have anything inside she needs to get?" "No. I anticipated this and had her remove all of her property." Very good then. I'll check the house and secure it. Thanks for your help Mr. Evans." When Joe returned to the house, Sue was still sitting at the kitchen table. She looked up from her hands and smiled, "Did I do good?" "You did quite well. I don't know that you should have told him it was all your fault but that can easily be explained if necessary. Anyway, you are now officially out of your house until the legal work is completed. Just in case, do you have a key to the house?" "Yeah. There's a hideout key in the back. So, now what?" "I call my sister." "And I'll check out the leftover Shitzhu," Sue said with a grin. Chapter Fourteen; A Call for Assistance Joe went to the phone and placed the call to his sister, Donna. "Donna. I need your help. Actually I have a young lady here at my place that needs your professional assistance." "Oh? Really? You have a young lady at your house? This I have to see. What sort of help does she need?" Joe could hear the smile in his sister's voice. "Look Donna. It's not what you think. This is a very strange situation and it's going to take some time to explain. Let me just say that she needs some serious help with everything. Hair, makeup, clothing, and so on. It will be easier if you come over and judge for yourself. Can you come over?" "You bet. For this, I'll be there in less than ten minutes. I'll bring some of the basics." "Thanks, Sis. Bye" When Joe got off the phone he turned to see Sue chewing on a sandwich, holding a beer and looking at him with a questioning look. "She'll be here in a bit. Get ready to learn some "girl stuff" as you put it." "I have a feeling that I'm not going to like any this," Sue said looking down. "Knowing my sister, I think it will be far worse than that. She is, if nothing else, very thorough. Prepare yourself to learn everything a girl needs to know. The hard part will be convincing her that what happened actually happened." "I think I need to take a piss," Sue said as she got up and headed out of the room. "Watch your language, Sue." "What?" "Never mind. Donna will take care of it when she gets here. Go take care of your business," Joe said smiling as he watched her tight jeans leave the room. 'Down boy. That's Arnold in those jeans,' he thought. Sue was still out of the room when Joe heard Donna's car pull into the driveway. The two dogs ran to the door with tails wagging and shortly Donna came in through the outside door carrying several cases. "Well? Where is she?" she said smiling looking at Joe. At about the same time, Sue came in through the kitchen door tucking in her blouse.. "I'll never get used to this girl shit. I have to sit to piss now, and it's messy. No more piss, shake, tuck, zip, and go. It really sucks!" About that time she looked up and saw Donna standing there with a shocked expression on her face. "Oh. Hi Donna. It's be