Savannah
Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]
He stood in front of the headstone, tears in his eyes, remembering as
the sunlight filtered through the leaves of the huge oak trees,
littering the ground with pinpoints of moving light as it weaved it's
way downward, splashing bright colors reflecting off of the headstones.
A chirping made his eyes wander to the treetops, and he watched as a
huge robin landed on the headstone and looked at him; the bird thrust
out his red plumage and cocked his head at the stranger. There was no
fear on the part of the robin because it knew the strangers could not
fly, but the man saw the way the bird looked at him. They stared at
each other for a moment, then the bird flew into one of the huge oaks,
returning a few seconds later. As the slight breeze ruffled his hair
and the bird looked at him, he knew it was time to put his anger and
hurt away and go on with life. He left the flowers on the grave and
started to walk away when the robin started to chirp. He looked at the
bird and saw the rhythmic nodding of its head, as if the bird was
telling him it was all right to have a life beyond the anger he felt.
The house felt empty now that Michelle and Beth were gone, only the
ghosts of them, still vivid in his memory, remained. The silence of the
house was like a hammer against my psyche as I sat and looked at the
picture of my wife and daughter on the wall. They were taken away from
me by a simple accident, leaving me without the will to go on. I had
struggled with their deaths for a month now, and no matter how hard I
tried, I simply could not find a reason to do more than drink and visit
the graves. It was my sister Audrey that brought me to life, and gave
me the reason I needed to go on.
I was just 22, while Audrey was five years older than he was. She was
an elfin bit of a woman, not more than 105 pounds, even after dinner.
My sister and I had been close when we were younger, Audrey almost like
a second mother to me.
"This is doing you no good at all Jimmy and you know it. Go back to
work and throw yourself into it until you get over it. Sell the house
and get a condo somewhere! All drinking does is make you sick and it
doesn't bring them back."
She was right of course, and I knew it. I hugged her, trying to absorb
some of her strength, trying to forget the terrible nightmare I was
living through. At her insistence, I went to stay with her for a few
days.
Audrey had two kids, both of them just children, without the cares of
older kids. Tom was 5 while Sara was 4. I settled into the spare
bedroom, and went out to the pool to try and relax. Sara came over and
climbed into my lap, just like she had done when she was a smaller
child, wrapped her arms around my neck and just lay there against me.
My arm, unbidden, went to her hair and I stroked her, just I always
did.
"I miss them too Uncle Jim; but now you have me!"
I held her tightly to my chest, soaking up the tenderness she offered
me. Audrey saw it, and decided that Sara was just the answer to my
pain, and left us alone.
I took the kids to the park the next day, and because a carnival was in
town, Audrey asked me to take the kids for the day. The bright
streamers and raucous music wafted to us on the slight breeze as we
walked across the street from the parking lot. The scent of hot
popcorn, caramel apples and beer joined together, signaling to everyone
that a good time was available. Balloons floated in the air while
clowns walked along making small animals for the kids as they squealed
with delight. I let them have some popcorn and a soda, and we walked
along the midway towards the rides. The crowd was smiling, almost as
one, and I began to smile whenever Tom or Sara laughed. It was a relief
to not think of my missing family for a while and I soaked up the
children's laughter as soon as I heard it.
Sara and Tom were on a ride, twirling around to the sounds of an organ
when I spied the man. He was sitting at a table, drinking a beer, his
wife close by, sucking on a cigarette while talking. The bobbing of the
cigarette somehow infuriated me. Both of them acted as if nothing had
happened. Like he had not stolen my future away from me. He heard the
ride come to a halt and the giggle of Sara as she ran up and held my
hand. Tom, more subdued, yet just as excited, wanted to try some other
rides, and I reluctantly let them lead me away from the man and his
wife. I never saw them again that day, but I knew that the man had no
remorse for what he had done to me, none at all.
The warm, moist air drifted across me as I lay sleeping, drawing me out
of my deep sleep. The early morning mist shrouded the yard and I could
smell the sweet scent of lilacs and the nearby coastal waters, and as I
lay there, sweat forming on my lips, I knew that I could never rest
until the man had paid for what he had done to my family. Like all of
us, I have an evil streak inside that was tempered only by my moral
code and the law. Now, I planned to step aside and let the evil take
charge. I arose and stepped into the cool shower, letting the water
wash away any remnant of concern as I started to plan my attack on the
man and his wife.
At only 5'7" and 140 pounds I was in no shape to take the man on
physically, but emotionally, I could make the man a wreck, and that is
exactly what I decided to do. With renewed vigor, I pulled on some
shorts and a shirt, put my sneakers on, and went to my car. The drive
took less than thirty minutes and I parked down the street from the
man's house, under a moss laden tree, and waited. I had no clear plan
as yet, but hoped to have one soon, and gathering information seemed to
be the best way to formulate one. Just after sunrise I saw the woman
leave the house, then twenty minutes later, the man left in his brand
new car. It was just like the one he was driving when he killed my
family. Following behind, I watched as the man pulled into a small bar.
An hour later he pulled out and drove to his job. He worked in a small
office next to a machine shop located in an area that was beginning to
show signs of wear. It was a commercial area populated with a lot of
small shops, body shops, machine shops, and so on. At the end of the
street was the bar he had stopped at. Nino's the sign said in bright
red neon. I drove back to Audrey's house, packed up, and thanked her
for letting me stay there.
"You have that look in your eye Jimmy, just what are you planning?" I
said nothing, yet my slow but growing smile told her that whatever it
was, it was probably illegal, and more, it was aimed at relieving my
pain. "Listen Jimmy, I know that look, and whatever you're doing, talk
to me first...please!"
I simply nodded my head yes, gave her a hug, and left for home. The
house was still silent, but now, I did not hear the muted voices of
laughter and love. Instead, I heard the loud voices of hate and
revenge, and let the dark forces guide me. I sat in my chair, the one
my wife had bought just for me, and in the dark silence, I let my mind
wander, remembering a time long ago.
The door opened quickly and there was no place to hide. I stood there,
rooted to the spot, completely dressed in her clothes. Audrey shut the
door and looked at me, her brother. I looked like a clown in those
clothes; they were way to big for me and draped from my body, hiding my
shape, but not my shame. Like a bad paint job, my makeup was juvenile
at best, and adding to this, my short hair did nothing to hide the fact
that I was obviously a boy. Neither of us said a word as I started to
cower towards a corner, but Audrey wasn't about to let that happen and
dragged me to the center of the room.
"I still have my clothes from when I was your age Jimmy, let me get
them for you."
What happened next totally shocked me. Under her guidance, I took off
all of the clothes, washed my face, and with only a towel for
protection, let her dress me again. This time, the girl in my dreams
came to life, a real live girl.
In a swirl of perfume scented clothes and the deft fingers of my
sister, I was transformed into the 12 year old girl I wanted to become.
She had started with pink panties that had some white lace trim, then a
training bra stuffed with old socks. Over that came a ruffled white
slip, then the dress, which was all blue with a white bib collar. On my
feet I wore white socks and white Maryjanes. On my head she had used an
old hairpiece to make me look like a young girl, and on my mouth I had
the taste of the pink lipstick. I stood in front of the mirror, smiling
at the reflection, twirling around, making the dress fill out and then,
settle against my legs. Audrey had taken my hand and led me out of her
bedroom and out on the patio. It was my first time out of the house
dressed as a girl, and even though they never left the yard, I was
sweating hard, my innate fear of discovery still very much with me.
Over the next few years, as I got older, Audrey and I would play dress
up, and by the time she got married, I was quite able to dress as a
young, teenage girl, and not be detected by anyone. When I met Michelle
in high school, I had stopped dressing up, and not once since then had
I even thought about it. Now, with my anger driving me, and my dark
desire for revenge so strong, my dream girl, Jill, once again popped
into my mind, coming alive and wrapping her arms around me in a tight
embrace.
It had been a long time since I had dressed as a girl, and I no longer
had any clothes of my own. All I had were those of my wife. I knew that
she was a bit smaller than I was, but we were nearly the same height,
so I went to the catalog to see just how much different we were. It
looked hopeless as I thumbed through the catalog, but after taking some
careful measurements, I found that I could wear her clothes if I could
lose about twenty pounds, and then wore the right undergarments. I had
taken the first step, now all I had to do was take the second.
I needed a plan before I went any further, a plan that would be as
flawless as possible, so I did not end up in jail. So, each morning I
followed the man to work, seeing the man stop after work at Nino's bar
before he went home. At night, in the privacy of my home, I began to
try on my wife's clothes, noting those that I could wear with minimal
alterations to myself or the clothes, and those that would require more
changes. It took me almost two weeks to prepare, two long weeks in
which I wondered many times, if I was doing the right thing, but always
driven by a constant hatred for the man that had stolen my family away.
Using the catalog as a road map, I managed to take my own measurements,
writing them down carefully, comparing them to the list I had of her
clothes. Michelle wore a size ten, a 36 'B' bra, with a 24 inch waist,
something I did not have. At best, my waist was 27, but I was pretty
sure that I could manage 24 with a corset of some kind. I was sitting,
surrounded by all of my notes, the catalogs strewn around the room like
just so much paper when I heard the doorbell ring. Looking out, I saw
Audrey standing there, a very determined look on her face. I wrapped a
robe around myself to hide the panties I had on, and let her in.
In less than a second she had scanned the room, seen all of the
catalogs, and knew that I was once again going to become Jill. The only
question in her mind was not 'why', but when. I watched her as she
looked at the open pages of the catalogs, then scooping them up,
looking at my notes. In them she found the reason I was doing this.
"You're going after the guy that killed Michelle and Beth aren't you?"
It was less a question than it was a statement, but, it was true, and I
nodded my head yes. "As a woman?" Again, another nod of the head yes.
"Why don't you tell me all about this little adventure of yours Jim."
I sat back and looked at my sister, my only surviving relative, and
felt the love I had for her swelling in my chest. I outlined the plan
for her as she listened to it carefully, without saying a word. When I
was done, she pointed out several of the flaws in my plan, then
suggested that if I wanted to do this, then maybe I should do it right.
"Living as a woman is not going to be as easy as you think Jimmy, but
if you insist that this is the way to get even, then I think that
before you even consider going after this guy, that you live as a woman
for a while. That way you can become used to the clothes and ways of
women a little bit better!"
I was shaken by her seemingly easy acceptance. "You agree with me?
Usually you and I are on the opposite sides of things!" Without even a
pause, she spoke up in that quiet, yet firm voice of hers.
"No, I do not agree with you Jimmy, but I know that no matter what I
think, or say, you'll probably do this anyway, so I would rather be on
the inside helping you out rather than on the outside trying to get you
out of jail. If you let me, I think together we can recreate Jill, as a
mature, beautiful young woman."
I looked at her for some sign that she didn't mean it, but I knew that
she did, her eyes said it.
"Okay Audrey, we'll do it your way."
"I'll be by in the morning and we'll take those measurements again;
then we'll go see a friend of mine from school." We sat and looked at
each other for a moment, then Audrey spoke up. "This man is what, 25?"
I nodded his head yes, and said, "That's why I think becoming a woman
will be the answer Audrey. He's close enough to my age to make it
work."
"His wife?"
"Marianne. She is a spoiled little girl and always has been, and like
him, she drinks, so I plan to hit him when he's out of it."
"You'll have to be perfect Jimmy, one slip up and he'll only tear your
head off if your lucky."
I nodded my head in understanding, and she hugged me tightly just
before she left.
The specter of what I was about to do, and all of the things that could
go wrong invaded my dreams that night, and as I tossed and turned in
the night, the forces of darkness once again invaded my sanity, and
they calmed my fears, chasing my common sense away with merely a puff
of a cold angry thought. I awoke as the early rays of the morning sun
slid through the cracks in the blinds, making a zebra like pattern on
the floor. Standing in the shower I wondered who my sister's friend
was, and just how she could help me, but I was determined, and after I
dressed and made coffee, I went over my notes once again. Audrey showed
up at 9, and we drove to see her friend.
It was a small, one story building, red brick clad in ivy crawling up
the side of the building, located behind a swirl of iron fencing and
half hidden by the phalanx of palmetto trees in front. Audrey led the
way in, and as soon as I stepped into the building my nose was
assaulted with the sharp sting of medical smells. Ether and iodine,
floor wax and soft music combining to raise my sense of unease.
"Is your friend a doctor Audrey?"
"Yes, but she's one of the best. I talked to her on the phone and she
has agreed to listen to you so you can explain why you need to become a
woman."
I merely nodded my head yes, and followed her into the office of Dr.
Laura Betz. Dr. Betz was a short dumpy blonde, and her brisk manner
told me that she was all business. In her office, and at Audrey's
insistence, I told her about the accident and what had happened.
"I have followed this guy around for a long time, and the only way to
get to him, to make him understand my pain, other than simply shooting
him, is if I become a woman and take away his freedom that way. Audrey
said that you could help me, and that's why I'm here."
The doctor sat back in her chair and looked at me, saw the grim look
etched on my face and somehow knew that I meant every word I had said.
Then she launched into a series of questions that lasted for almost two
hours, and went back to my childhood, including the times I had dressed
as a girl when I was younger. She focused, I noticed, on that portion
of my life, making her questions sharper and dug deeper trying to make
sure that I could cope with the changes I needed done. I sank into the
chair, tired from all of the questions, afraid that the doctor would
say no, but also, scared that she might agree to help me.
"Okay Jim, I'll help you, but some of the changes are permanent, and
cannot be reversed, and even then it will be hard for you to become a
man again. Are you prepared for that?"
"Like what?" I asked.
She carefully outlined the changes that would have to take place for me
to be successful in my presentation as a female, in every way possible.
She told me, in excruciating detail, what would happen. In the end,
scared at what I had heard, but driven for justice, I agreed, and she
asked me to stay.
"I'll take him home later Audrey, right now he and I have a lot of work
to do."
She gave me the most complete, and embarrassing, physical I had ever
had, then, leaving me naked on the table while she drew blood.
"This is a complete clinic, with a small operating room and three
private rooms. Now I know you're nervous, but I studied in some of the
best schools around the country. Columbia, U of M, and in Colorado.
Since this takes a while, we might as well start now. Can you be gone
for a week?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact I can!"
"Good! Now just lay back and relax. You better call Audrey and tell her
or she'll worry."
"I will, don't worry."
Then she gave me a shot that made me numb from the neck down. I saw her
reach for a scalpel, then her hand as it lowered to my groin, and I
began to have second thoughts. But it was too late for that, as the
doctor had sliced into me and made an opening ten centimeters long just
above my penis.
While she was operating, she told me, "I studied under the best doctors
in the business Jim, and I have done this many times, so I can
guarantee that nobody who isn't a doctor will be able tell. In fact,
I'll show you some pictures of some of my clients that have made the
transition from male to female some time."
I knew she was good or my sister would not have brought me here to see
her.
"Funny thing is, I can make an average guy look beautiful by any
standard, and here I am, short and plump, if you're polite, a natural
born female, and everyone of my clients look better than I do when I'm
done!"
Even semi awake I could hear the bitterness creeping into her voice,
and hoped she would not let it affect her ability while she worked on
me!
"Maybe a little aerobics would help," I ventured.
"I tried that, but everyone is so slim, and they all seem to think they
are so much better than I am. Besides, I don't have a partner."
"I'll be your partner Laura. I'll have to go to the classes at least
twice a week to get my weight down and maintain it anyway, so why not
join me?"
"Maybe I will!"
Eight hours later I was taken to the recovery room and allowed to sleep
it off. When I woke, I was sore everywhere, with bandages from my neck
to my waist. Laura came in and checked on me regularly, then, on the
third day I was there, she at last helped me to my feet. I was wobbly
and sore, felt half drunk, and just wanted to lay back down, but she
insisted, and wearing one of those thin robes that open up the back, I
made my way the bathroom. I was too tired and sore to stand, so I sat
and let nature take over, but now, as I heard the stream hit the bowl I
knew that Laura had made the changes. Once she had me back in my bed,
she went over every aspect of feminine hygiene with me, then called
Audrey, talked for a moment, then left me alone. The pain started two
hours after she had left, but after I took some of the pills she had
given me, I was feeling fine in a numb sort of way.
It was the first time she had seen me since Laura had operated on me,
and I could tell that she was stunned at the changes. My face was
swollen and red, even black and blue in a few small spots, I was bent
at the waist a bit from the pain of having breast implants and yet, I
know that she saw my eyes glinting in excitement. I got up from the
chair, stood up as straight as I could and faced my sister, letting her
absorb the new look I now had.
"It looks like Laura did what she said she could do Jimmy, or should I
say, Jill?"
"Better make it Jill now Audrey, I don't think Jimmy fits any more!"
She laughed and sat at the table with me. She wanted the details, and I
told her what Laura had done for me.
"I have to take the hormones, one pill every day, but she said it will
reduce my body hair and let me grow my own breasts and have wider hips
naturally. Right now I have implants, but she told me that within maybe
six months or so she'll take them out. I have a 36-24-36 figure right
now, and that's exactly what I hoped to have when she was done. But the
worst was that laser. Smelled terrible! Like burning hair, but I don't
have to shave any more!"
She heard both the elation and the fear in my voice even as I spoke
about the changes. Audrey knew that taking hormones would change me
forever, making me into more of a woman than even she admitted. But she
knew that I was committed, so all she could do was to be there to help
me climb the mountain of obstacles I faced. My quest for revenge had
taken a turn from which there was no turning back. Jim, her brother,
was gone. In his place was Jill. Still family, but new, like a bride
they all had to accept, simply because she was now family. There was
nothing she could do until I had healed up, so Audrey went home,
leaving me to cope with my pain, and get used to my new body.
The morning brought an urge to use the bathroom, and I managed to make
my way there, and standing in front of the stool I reached for it, and
it was gone! I remembered what had happened of course, it was just a
lifetime reflex. I sat down, and once I was done, I stood in the shower
until the hot water ran out. I had made a check of my new body, unable
to see it of course, but my fingers told me that I now had a very
realistic vagina and that it probably looked like the real thing. My
boobs however did look very real! They hung with a slight sag, but they
were full, round, and soft, just like a woman's would be. I hefted one
in each hand until the ache of the stitches started to hurt.
In my room I carefully slipped on some panties and the soft sports bra
that Laura had given me, drew on my robe, then ambled out of the room
and into Laura's office. Having boobs sticking out in front was
different, not at all like I remembered from my youth, but then, they
had been only socks, and I could take them out, these, I would have for
a long time. When I walked it must have been like watching a very old
person, the dull ache surrounded my pain center like a fog, and unless
I took one of the pills I found no relief from the constant throb of
pain. But I did not like to take pills unless I absolutely had to, so I
braved it out, for another twenty minutes.
"I'm going to let you go home Jill, but first I have a suggestion. I
have a friend that I work with once in a while, and I would like you to
meet him. Today is Monday. Why don't I set it up for Friday morning;
that will give you some more time to heal up."
"Okay Laura, thanks."
Audrey arrived, and took me home, made sure I was okay, and left. I
looked like a walking pile of pain and bandages, but Audrey knew that
in a few days I would be healed up and I would feel a lot better about
myself.
Somehow, dealing with my new body shape seemed easy, but I knew that it
was going to be hard, very hard, to relearn how to do many things, like
react to people as a woman rather than a man. Things like being coy, or
shy, reacting to a man that was flirting with me, seemed harder to
think about than just wearing the clothes or learning new mannerisms.
Still, I knew that I had to do it, if only to find some kind of peace
with myself. In my room I looked at my reflection again, the brand new
breasts, so firm, yet so tender and soft, pliable and sexy all at once.
My hand found the nipple on my right breast, and as I touched it, I
wondered if I could let someone else do the very same thing. My hand,
curious like I was, slid down, and found the newness of my shape, my
finger tracing the thin shape of the small slit that defined my new
sex. I let my finger slide in up to the first knuckle where it stopped,
knowing that nothing could go any further; I was not a female, just a
man with a mission.
The next morning, as I sat at the kitchen table, I heard Audrey come
in. I rarely watched television any more, preferring to listen to the
classics, and as the strains of Beethoven's Fifth symphony filled the
house, my inner voice told me that I was doing the right thing, and I
only had to accept the changes that had taken place. With a sigh, I
reached for the panties and pulled them on, then the sports bra, some
shorts, a T-shirt, and my tennis shoes. In the kitchen I joined Audrey,
poured some coffee and started breakfast.
"So, tell me what has Laura done Jill. How did she make the changes?"
Smiling, I told her. "She used Liposuction to take the fat from my
waist and made my hips and butt rounder, my thighs just a bit larger,
then saline implants for breasts. She said they are about a 'A+', but
by taking the hormones I'll probably be as big as you are now. She
managed to create a very realistic vagina without removing my manhood,
and it's so good that I don't think anyone but a doctor could tell!
Then she used a laser to remove my beard down to my collarbone. She
wants me to see a friend of hers on Friday. She didn't say why, but if
she wants me to I will."
"Well, you might as well go for it now Jill, or give it up."
"I can't give it up Audrey."
When Audrey left she became scared for me all over again. The firm
determination in my voice gave no sign of abating, and Audrey wondered
if I could find peace in revenge. Like they said in one of the Star
Trek movies, "Revenge is a dish best served cold", but I still carried
the heat of my anger like a badge of honor. I could only hope that the
bright light of my anger would not blind me.
I spent the next few days lounging around the house, until at last I
went to see Dr. Betz and have my stitches taken out. Laura examined me
very carefully before she removed the stitches, and when she was done
she told me I was free to do as I wished, but that I might want to have
one other surgery done.
"That friend I mentioned is here Jill. He is a specialist, a plastic
surgeon. I think that you should have slightly different, more feminine
look, and he is just the person to help you. He's in my office if you
would like to see him Jill."
With nothing to lose by listening, I agreed and once we had entered her
office, I met Dr. Gregory Hassan. He was tall with piercing chocolate
brown eyes under a mop of unruly, curly black hair. His chin looked
like it was sculptured from marble and his crooked smile was warm. He
wore a tailored gray suit and black shoes, his gold watch hinting from
his sleeve as he extended his hand to me.
"Ms. Grant, how nice to meet you." His voice was deep, but had a soft,
melodic quality. "May I?" I nodded her head yes, and he took my chin in
his hand and felt my nose and cheekbones, then, my throat.
"This man you are after, he has seen you?"
"Of course. Twice in court and once when I accepted the settlement."
"Then he knows you by sight of course. In your heart, do you think that
becoming a woman will let you do what needs to be done?" His question
confused me, then, as I watched, he put some pictures on the desk. "Can
you match them up?" There were equal numbers of men and women. His test
was easy, and I managed to correctly match the men and women as the
same person. "If you can do it, can your man do it as well?"
"I suppose he can! I never thought of that!"
"I can help you if you like; and, I will do it for free."
"Why free doctor?" he told her.
"This man's wife is the daughter of a very well to do man who owns a
lot of real estate, most of it on the East Side. My parents had a small
store there until this man raised the rents so high they had quit. That
store is now a video arcade while my brother and I support our parents.
This man has no remorse, no compassion for people, only money. When my
friend Laura came to me and told me about you I had to offer my
services, and those of my brother. He is a lawyer by the way. But there
is one small suggestion if I may. You have targeted a certain person,
but I might suggest that you look further, wifes family! To the son,
and grandson. If he were the target you would satisfy many objectives
at one time."
"His son!? You want me to go after the son?"
"Of course!"
"But that is kidnapping, a Federal offense I might add, and they always
get the kidnapper!"
"True, but a kidnapping infers a ransom, and of course there won't be
one, and that gives all of us time to do what we must and let the child
go before they find us."
"I'm very uncomfortable with this doctor, and I'm not sure I could do
that to a child. The mother maybe, but not the child."
"Of course! The mother, and the daughter of the man who ruined my
parents!"
"But" I said, "using her, not hurting her. We use her to get to her
husband, let her give the okay, and in effect ruin her life and her
entire family at the same time!"
We all agreed, and then he went on to describe the changes he could
make to my face.
"When I am done you will be beautiful beyond compare Ms. Grant!"
I was concerned over his apparent lack of concern for the child, but
because Laura had recommended him so highly I made the appointment for
the next day, and left the office.
The doctor was right of course, about how he could make me look, and
after he made some minor changes to my face, I was indeed beautiful. A
month after I had first let Laura operate on me, I was now an entirely
different person, in looks, and in my mind. As the days went by, I
became used to the needs of my body and learned how to take care of
myself. I found out why women take so long in the bathroom as well. It
was unlike being a male where I could quickly relive myself. Now, I had
to almost undress to find relief, and then redo my look so as to not
look so disheveled. As I became accustomed to my new body, I also
became more aware of the clothes, and how to wear them. Now, it was
automatic to put on a bra and clean panties, brush out my hair, and do
some makeup in the morning, even before I slipped on some clothes. My
sister Audrey had visited every day and seen the changes take place,
and even as I became more and more feminine, she grew more and more
apprehensive about what I wanted to do no matter how good my
intentions.
"You and I know what you mean to do this Jill, but hate is a bitter
substitute for the love you had for your family. I'm afraid for you,
very afraid."
"I have to do this Audrey, this same guy just had another accident
yesterday. He hit a bus of all things! Fortunately it was empty, but it
only shows that I have to do this. He needs to learn a lesson, and I
want to be the one to give it to him."
Audrey could see for herself that the swelling had gone down, and I
looked strikingly like a popular actress of the fifties in both my body
and face. But I was driven by the consuming hatred I had for a single
man, and no matter what, I was going ahead with my plan. With a sigh,
Audrey told me that since I was her sister, family, she could not let
me do this alone, so she offered to help me with the clothes, makeup
and hair.
"You've been at this for a month now and even though you look like a
woman, you need someone to help you go the rest of the way Jill, and it
has to be me! I insist"
"Okay sis, I'm yours."
So far all I had worn were basic clothes like a bra and panties, shorts
or a simple dress. Audrey told me that I should at least buy some
panties of my own for sanitary reasons.
"You can afford it Jill, so let me help you get dressed and we can go
shopping for a few things." I nodded my head yes and we went to my
bedroom. "You'll have to wear what you have for now, but let's start on
makeup."
Michelle's makeup was still there, but most of it was old, and wrong
for my coloring, so I ended up wearing just lipstick and a bit of eye
shadow. Audrey wanted me to get used to more than just wearing a skirt,
so after I managed to get the pantyhose on after struggling with them
for a bit, I slipped on the short black skirt. I zipped it up and took
the blouse that Audrey had in her hand.
"Sit here" she said as I finished buttoning up the blouse. With a
curling iron and some hairspray she created a modestly feminine hairdo
for me. "It's not perfect, but it'll do for now. Get your shoes and a
purse." Once I was ready, Audrey drove us to the mall, and on the way
over, Audrey told me take shorter steps. "Walk beside me and take a
step when I do. That way you'll see how long your step has to be; and
hold your elbows closer to your body with your arms bent outward, or to
the front."
I nodded my head in understanding, and nervously made my first real
appearance in public. What I noticed right away was the way some of the
men looked at me.
"You'll get used to it Jill, we all do. Men are so visual that they
always look at women that way."
I knew that I looked like a woman, but my inbred fear of discovery kept
rising into my throat. Audrey knew it, but also knew that I would have
to conquer that fear on my own and said nothing.
"Let's go in here Jill." And I was steered into the salon. Once inside,
I smelled the scent of many different solutions, most of them known
only to the operators, and crinkled my nose. Debbie was free, and once
I was settled into the chair, Audrey left.
"This your first time?" I wondered if she knew about me, but of course,
that was impossible. Debbie meant my first time in that salon.
"Yes, and I don't have a clue what I want done."
"Let me make a few suggestions."
Debbie offered, and I agreed with every one of them and Debbie went to
work on me. I sat through it, not sure how I would look, trusting that
Debbie knew what she was doing. My hair was washed, clipped, snipped,
rolled, and some foul smelling solutions were used. Once that was done
and I was under a dryer, another girl came over and started on my
nails.
While my fingers were not as slim as most women's, and my nails more
square, like a man's, the girl doing my nails said nothing as she filed
and trimmed them before she added acrylic extensions. Once she was
happy with the length, she painted them a soft reddish pink and added
two coats of hardener and a top coat. With my nails still wet, Debbie
began to take the rollers out and brush out my hair, making a very nice
career style pageboy. my hair hung in curls down the back, curling
around my ears in gentle waves of soft brown tinted with auburn
highlights. My bangs were down to my eyebrows and swept to one side. As
I looked in the mirror I saw not the mouse brown hair I started with,
but the glint of red in my hair. My green eyes smiled at the
reflection, because for the first time I thought I had an even chance.
When Audrey returned she expected to see some changes, but Debbie said
I was stunning! By the smile on Audreys face, I knew it too, and felt
it as well. Now, the small changes to my face that Dr. Hassan had made
became clearer. The small cleft in my chin was gone, and my nose was
cute, a small button that sat between my now higher cheekbones. I
looked like a young Maureen O'Hare, including the red tint in my hair!
Audrey's brother, once just an average looking guy, had become a
beautiful woman by any standard! Now all I had to do was learn how to
be a woman. From there we went shopping, buying panties, three new
bras, some pantyhose, and because Michelle was a flannel kind of girl
and I wasn't, some racy nightgowns. Then I had my makeup done by a
professional, buying some of everything the woman had used. Audrey
dropped me off at home and returned to her family, leaving me to try on
clothes that would now, not only fit me, but also accent my beauty.
Michelle had been a beautiful woman, but her taste in clothes had not
been towards the sexy side, which had never bothered me, but now, as
Jill, I needed something to make a definite impression on someone. As I
looked in the closet, I found only two that might work, and I tried
them both on. One was an angora sweater that came to just under my
boobs when I had it on. With a short skirt, it would work fine. The
other was a red party dress. It was a sheath style dress with spaghetti
straps, a short hemline, and a slit up the side. I tried them both on
and came to the conclusion that I now understood why Michelle wore the
red dress so rarely! It hung from my shoulders, the thin straps holding
up the front which settled half way down on my breasts, showing a lot
of cleavage, enough to make me feel cheap all of a sudden. The hem hit
me at mid thigh while the slit went almost to my butt. It was a sexy
dress and fit me perfectly, but somehow, for an afternoon encounter it
was wrong, so I put on the angora top and a short black mini skirt
instead. My shoes, black patent leather with spike heels hiked my ass
up in the air and made my legs shapely while pushing out my bottom at
the same time. I changed my lipstick to a deep red, added some perfume,
and left for the drive to Nino's Bar and Grill.
I parked the car and walked towards the door, afraid, and compelled all
at once. Opening the door I walked into the darkened bar, the dim light
shedding an eerie glow on the few patrons, all men, who were already
there. As I walked to the bar and hoisted myself up and onto a stool, I
could actually feel every eye in the place on me. A palpable sense of
lechery invaded, making me uneasy. Once my drink was in front of me, I
turned to look around. Shiny eyes looked back at me out of the gloom
with smiles from the men that certainly invited me to join them. No
words were spoken, but I knew, all women know. Shuddering at the
thought of it, I turned back and sipped my drink. Twenty minutes later
my target came in. I watched him in the mirror as he walked behind me
and to a stool down the bar a bit. He flashed his best smile at me, and
I smiled back while at the same time, letting my skirt rise up a
little. He was watching me as I ignored him with my eyes, all the while
tempting him with my body.
"Hi there! "My name is Jeff Benson, what's yours?" I looked at him
before I spoke. He was handsome, and I could see in his eyes the hope
of conquest.
"Hi yourself. My name is Jill."
"We don't see many women like you in here Jill, what brings you here
today?"
"What kind of woman do you think I am Jeff?" My question threw him off
a bit, but he recovered nicely when he told me that he meant beautiful.
"I was in the area and got thirsty, that's all." He made an effort to
get me to sit in a booth with him, but I told him I had to leave.
"Maybe I'll see you again Jeff, but right now I have an appointment.
Bye!"
I left, making sure that with every step I took my hips were swaying,
all the way to the door. Once I was in the bright daylight, I quickly
got into my car and went home, feeling like I needed a shower.
Collecting the mail, I saw a letter from Benjamin L. Hassan, attorney
at law. Tearing open the letter, I quickly read it. It was an
invitation for me to meet with him at my earliest convenience, so that
he might help me in any way possible. Smiling, I called his office and
made an appointment for the next morning at ten. Then I changed into
some jeans, started up the CD player, and as Midnight Serenade started
to play, I went to he kitchen to make some dinner.
In the morning I got ready for my appointment, selecting a suit from
Michelle's, or rather, my, wardrobe. I took a shower, patting myself
with powder when I was done, then sat at the vanity and did my makeup.
This time, I managed to do it right, my skills driven by desire not
practice. My foundation was light, since I no longer had a beard to
cover, my eye shadow muted in colors of green and gray. The eyeliner
was a deep black both above and under each eye. My mascara just enough
to give them body but not look cheap. On my cheeks I used a soft coral
blusher, blending it with a small sponge. Then I went to my dresser and
retrieved panties which I slipped on, then my peach bra, which was
thin, and let my nipples poke against the material. I liked the look,
so I fastened the front hook and 'fluffed' my boobs so that they were
held tightly, yet looked as if they filled the cups. Pantyhose, then
the blouse, an off white silk, it had a lace insert in front that
showed just a hint of my cleavage. I buttoned the high rise collar, and
stepped into the pink skirt. It was cut straight and fell just above my
knees. The jacket, when it was buttoned accented my now narrow waist,
the gold and white pin on the jacket drawing ones eye to my breasts.
Smiling, I slipped my feet into the white heels, and put the gold and
white earrings on, then a gold watch on my left wrist and a gold
bracelet on my right. Obsession perfume, a gift from before the
accident sat on the vanity, and I took it in my hand and put some on my
neck, elbows and wrists. Pink lipstick, complementing my look was
added, and I changed my things to a white purse.
I was escorted into his office, and immediately I knew that he was a
very successful man. The rich wood paneling and deep maroon leather
chairs gave way to the many bright flowers scattered around the office.
Benjamin Hassan was older than his brother by at least ten years. Like
his brother, he was also tall, a robust looking man with a short fringe
of gray hair and deep black eyes that seemed to smile for him. He
shared the same olive colored skin and enchanting smile of his brother.
"Ms. Grant! How nice to meet you at last. Allow me to introduce my
parents."
He motioned across the room, and I saw them. The man stood up, slightly
bent with age, but proud, still looking strong. He had a full head of
hair that was all white, a mustache that was going white, and the same
smile that his sons shared. He gave a small bow with his head, and
rested his hand on his wife's shoulder. She wore the traditional dress
of the Middle East, and her eyes, like her sons, seemed to dance in the
light. I saw the careworn wrinkles around their eyes, the gnarled hands
of his father and the gentle smile of his mother.
"I know it seems like a cheap way to approach this, but Gregory said
that maybe you should meet our parents." He walked over to his parents
and stood beside them. "This is my father, Ibriham Hassan, and my
mother, Petra."
The old man slowly walked up to me, looking me over closely. "In my
country of birth" he said, his voice croaking, This thing you have done
could not happen, but I see no sign that you are a man, and I begin to
wonder if Ben has pulled a trick on us."
Having gone to school with students from countries like this man's, I
understood.
"Thank you; but I am a male, at least inside. For now, your son Gregory
has helped me become a woman so that I might right a terrible wrong."
He nodded his head, and took my hand in his. My hand seemed to
disappear in his, and as he held it, his wife took the other.
"Do not let anger control you child. Do what has to be done and then
quit. Be yourself and go on with life."
Her soft words and gentle touch said a lot about her and her family,
and I understood why her sons were so compassionate.
"We have no daughter, so we adopt you as our own. If you ever need
help, come to me and I will be there with whatever we have."
The man's voice cracked and she saw a small tear forming in his eye. I
reached out and hugged them each, wiping away the small tear and
kissing them both on the cheek.
Ben let them out, then turned his attention to me. "My mother has
already adopted you, and my father, well, he accepts you more than he
will admit."
"I think they are wonderful people!"
He nodded his head in thanks, and got right down to business.
"I have run checks on this family, and have a very detailed packet of
information on them. The man that killed your family, Jeff Benson, was
raised by his grandmother in a nice area, but they had little money. He
has a high school education and not much else. The feeling is that he
married his wife in more of an effort to improve his financial status
rather than his love life. He is focused on one thing and cares little
for, or about others. His wife, Marianne, was raised in an affluent
neighborhood and never went without anything in her entire life. She
was thrown out of three colleges for poor grades due to her constant
partying. Her father is a prominent businessman who's only joy in life
is money. He has a single goal, and the methods he uses, while
questionable, are legal. He thinks in the manner of the old south;
women are to be ornaments or vessels for birth and nothing more. He
follows the law on equal treatment of course, but the highest ranking
female in his entire organization is only a supervisor in the
accounting department, and she has an MBA from a big ten university."
The way I see it, you are going about this the wrong way. Sure, you
took him to the cleaners after the accident and will never have to work
again if you don't want to, but the way to break the entire clan is to
break the cycle. If his daughter had been a son the right of succession
would be complete, but he now has to rely on his son in law for that,
and I don't think he trusts the kid. He's got him working for the woman
supervisor, and that would not happen if he trusted the kid all of the
way, so, while targeting the son in law is right, but just embarrassing
him probably won't work. The old man has enough money to quash most
things, and won't risk exposure by some broad with nasty pictures.
He'll fall on you like a ton of bricks and you'll be crushed and
forgotten." The air was filling with tension as I listened to him,
wondering where he was going with this. "You are an alluring woman Jill
Grant, I wonder how his son in law would look?" Then it all came clear,
and in a flash I understood.
"Make Jeff into a woman!?"
He nodded his head yes, then added, "But not with all of the advantages
you have had. I'm thinking big boobs, really big; a butt that is sexy
and hair piled up high and done in platinum blonde. A hooker if you
like, definitely not male, but not with the surgery you have had. Leave
him with all of his equipment intact, and let me have him. I'm sure
that my father and some of his friends can finish the job and make him
into a woman." I immediately got a mental image, and began to giggle.
Then, he handed me some documents to sign. "These will legally change
your name to Jillian Michelle Grant. I talked to your sister and she is
the one that suggested the name." I read the papers, and was thankful
for Audrey's insight. Using Michelle's name would keep her close to me,
and I quickly signed them all. "In a few days you will get a paper from
the court that you can use to get a new drivers license and so on. Do
that before you do anything else, and if you have any trouble refer
them to me. Okay?"
"Okay!" That afternoon I joined an aerobics class and then called
Laura. "I have enrolled you in an aerobics class with me, and our first
class is at six tomorrow morning. I'll look forward to seeing you again
Laura." I gave her no chance to say no, or even find a reason to say
no, I simply hung up the phone. Then I went shopping for an exercise
outfit.
Early the next morning, clad in shorts over my outfit, I drove to
class, and joined Laura, who was already there. Laura wore sweats, gray
and shapeless, while I wore a dark gray leotard under an emerald green
body suit. We both wore white shoes. The instructor was, as expected,
slim and trim, with a name like Amber, or Heather or Ashley. I didn't
care, and Laura was too consumed with the way she looked to bother to
listen. We spent a good portion of the morning there, learning the
exercises, stretching and so on. Laura and I worked together, offering
encouragement to each other when we were tired, and felt worn out. It
took us a month of constant exercise, but I made my goal weight, while
Laura had lost almost thirty pounds! I now weighed 118 pounds, which as
a man, I would have looked positively skinny, but as a woman, I looked
positively wonderful. Laura now weighed in at 130, and her entire
outlook on life changed. As soon as the class was over, she went out
and bought an outfit just like mine, only in red. I had taken the third
step towards letting the darkness lead me and have my revenge.
As the days wore on, I began to become comfortable with the many new
mannerisms I had to learn and now, they came naturally to me. In trying
on Michelle's clothes, I found clothes that I liked, and some I did
not. Those I did not like, or were to small, I donated to a charity,
and replaced them with clothes I had bought. The image that I wanted to
convey, and was most comfortable with was intellectual, yet sexy. I
liked to dress conservatively, except that underneath, I wore lingerie
that was always lacy and very feminine. Yet somehow, I always managed
to let glimpses of that very same lingerie show through once in a
while. My persona was that of a busy woman, industrious, smart and self
assured, yet still yearning for the right man. One might think that I
was a teacher, or dress shop owner, reading romance novels while I
imagined that I was waiting for the right man to cart me away and make
love to me endlessly.
But I was far from being a gullible young girl. I was now a woman with
a mission. On Sunday, I drove to the cemetery to visit the graves, but
this time I stood there in a black dress, my heels sinking into the
moist ground as I spoke to them. A robin, maybe the same one, once
again sat on a headstone and watched me, a curious bent of its head
telling me that I seemed somehow familiar, yet different.
"I'll be back when I am done, and this is over. Then you can rest in
peace." As I walked away I heard the raucous sounds of the birds, like
laughter in the background as I walked to the car.
Ben called me to set up a meeting with myself and all of my
collaborators in this event. That afternoon I went into his office, and
found Laura, Greg, Audrey, his parents, and a stranger. The only open
chair was next to Greg, and he stood for me as I sat, something the
others did not miss. Once we were all seated, Ben stood up and spoke to
the group.
"We all know why we are here, and for various reasons and objectives.
Jill here wants to put a man in a situation he has no recourse from. My
parents want the man's father in law put out of business and ruined
socially and financially. Audrey, because of her love for Jill has
agreed to help as well, but her motivation is Jill's safety. My brother
Greg has contributed his enormous skills to helping Jill achieve the
look she wanted, but I think he is also in love." At this, I looked at
Greg and saw a slow silly grin highlighted by a blush on his face.
Shaken, I turned back to Ben. "My friends, let me introduce you to Ian
O'Keefe. He is the preeminent private detective in the business. Mr.
O'Keefe."
"This is not the most dangerous thing I ever heard of, but I want to
hear the entire plan from you Ms. Grant. Tell me all about it."
I stood up, joining Ben at his desk. "I plan to try and get close to
his wife, Marianne, become best friends and so on. Her husband, if he
is true to form will hit on me and I will let him think he will
succeed. At my home, I will drug him, and Laura will start her magic on
him. In a single weekend, Laura and I, working together, will change
him from a robust male to a sniveling female that will seem not a whole
lot brighter than he will look. Then, after he is dressed correctly, we
will release him in front of a whorehouse I know of."
"Not bad, but it does not address the needs of everyone here. Let's
talk about it."
O'Keefe lit up a cigar that smelled like he was smoking a dead rat, and
after a few coughs, Ben opened a window.
"Sorry about that folks, it helps me to think. Okay. First, there's no
denying the fact that you are winsome lass, and would have no trouble
fitting in with Marianne's crowd, and convincing her husband to hit on
you doesn't seem like to big a stretch. But turning him into something
that looks like a hooker probably wouldn't even register on the old man
at all. No, we need to find a way to link the two of them, then make it
public. Very public."
"Sir?" The shaky voice of the elder Mr. Hassan broke the silence. "I
have a friend, more an acquaintance, but he has connections in some
very low places. In my country we have Harems, outlawed now, but still
around; not all of them are filled with women. Some are filled with men
that look like women. Some of the very wealthy go there. Some think
that a boy once in a while makes them more virile. This boy, can we do
that to him?"
Before he could answer, Audrey shocked me with a suggestion of her own.
"If we get that far, maybe we can maneuver the father in law into
meeting the kid in some sexual way. That way we would have them both!"
"That is an excellent idea Audrey! Mr. Hassan, if you would, contact
your friend and ask him if we can depend on his help."
"I met the father in laws wife a few times at charity events" said Ben,
"She's a bit of a lush, and a charity dilettante. Her old man keeps her
on a short leash, but I'll bet I can get her to help me get close to
the old man, then I can suggest a trip to a place where they have
more...exotic forms of pleasures. I'll bet he goes for it."
"That my boy, is an excellent idea! Ben will take care of the old man
while Jill gets the son in law. Mr. Hassan, here's my card. If you can
arrange it, I would like to meet your friend."
The meeting broke up, Audrey was half expecting to talk to me, but when
she turned around she saw that Gregory Hassan was talking to me, and a
smile came to her face. She knew that being a woman had its benefits,
and Gregory Hassan was certainly one of them.
"Please, let me take you to dinner. A beautiful woman like you should
never dine alone!"
It would be my first 'date', and liking the tall doctor, I nodded my
head yes. He took my hand in his and walked out of the office, Audrey
and the others watched us leave, smiles traced on the faces of the
others. His father merely shook his head.
I went home, thoughts of my first date hard on my mind, wondering why I
felt the way I did. After living as a woman for the last five months, I
was just now getting comfortable in my new role, and Gregory Hassan had
added to my mental confusion by merely being my friend. No matter how
hard I tried, I could not think of one reason to be celibate, or not go
out with the tall dark and very handsome man that so attracted me. He
said he would be over at seven, and after a quick peek at the clock, I
saw that I had a few hours to get ready, and I spent it wisely. As I
sank into the warm water and let the bubbles rise to my neck, I relaxed
and decided to let nature take its course, but for some reason, the
image of Greg Hassan stayed in my mind. When I had dried off, I
powdered myself all over, and went to my dresser. For this, my first
date, I wanted to be sexy as I could be, and I grabbed the thin green
panties and slipped them on. The high cut legs let my hip show more
than usual, which brought a smile to my face. Barely visible, the cleft
of my sex reminded me that I was now a woman as I reached for the bra.
It was also green, the thin lacy cups had built in push up pads, and
when I fastened the front hook my breasts rose and filled out the bra,
threatening to over flow, which is exactly what I wanted.
At the vanity I brushed out my hair, adding two gold barrettes, one on
each side, which let my hair hang down the back and left my face and
ears open. My makeup was understated yet enhanced my face perfectly;
the black eyeliner outlined my almond shaped eyes while the soft gray
and rose eye shadow made my green eyes a sparkle. The dress was a new
one that I had bought a few days ago simply because I liked it; now I
hoped Gregory would too. I slipped it over my head, letting it settle
before I zipped it up. The straps fastened behind my neck, making the
emerald green dress sleeveless, with a huge slash down the front that
exposed my cleavage in a way I had always admired on certain women.
Now, I was that woman, and as I stepped into the black heels and bent
over to do up the straps, I saw myself in the mirror, my breasts
hanging like rich globes of passion fruit, just waiting to be plucked.
I added perfume, then gold button earrings and my bracelet, and
finally, the reddish brown lipstick. My wallet went into the small
black clutch bag just as the doorbell rang.
He was charming and erudite, funny and extremely handsome. That was a
term I had never used about a man until I became Jill, and began to see
the effect I had on men in general, and Greg in particular. I had never
had a thought about another man in any way except in friendship up to
this point, but as he talked, I warmed up to him and relaxed. My once
tenor voice now a contralto because of his expertise, made me sound
very sexy, and I could tell that just the tone of my voice made his
heart beat faster. When the music started he swept me into his arms,
and during a slow number, with my arms around his neck because there
wasn't anyplace else to put them, he kissed me! Gently at first, then,
his tongue tasted my lips and I groaned in confusion. Later, he took me
home, holding me in his arms on my doorstep, my face upturned to him as
he bent to kiss me again. His lips touched mine, and my firestorms of
internal protests gave way to the kaleidoscope of an urgent need. It
was the first time another human being had paid this much intimate
attention to me since the accident, and I was surprised that I hungered
for it. All thoughts of being a man escaped my mind as he held me in
his arms, kissing me, and making my knees weak. I opened the door, my
eyes pleading for more of his attention, and was prepared to let him
come in, but he would not.
"Not yet little one, but soon, very soon. Goodnight."
I stood in the doorway and watched as he drove away in his sports car,
the throaty roar of the exhaust loud in the night.
In my bedroom I undressed and slipped into a babydoll nightgown, the
blue one I liked, and crawled into bed, wondering why I had felt the
way I did. Right up until tonight, if someone had asked me, I would
have said I was a heterosexual male. Now I wasn't so sure. Greg had
ignited a fire in me that still burned. He made me feel sexy and
wanted, ladylike, not like a cheap whore. His hands had massaged my
back as we danced, strong yet gentle, his aftershave cloying, my nose
telling me it was expensive. I had felt so natural letting him take
charge, and after a lifetime of being the one in charge, I found it
refreshing and it made me feel very feminine. My hand wandered to my
sex, and I wondered if he knew it was fake, but then, of course he
knew. His hand, when it touched my breast, was warm and made me tingle
all over, something that had never happened before, and I liked it!
Smiling, I fell asleep, dreams of his crooked smile in my mind all
night.
The next morning, after aerobics class, I dressed for the occasion,
wearing a low cut sundress and strappy sandals for my first encounter
with the airhead, Marianne. She and her mother were going to be at a
charity garden party at ten, and I made sure I had my makeup and hair
perfect for the day. On the way over I picked up my new drivers
license, Social Security card, new checks, and passport. Then I drove
to the huge garden party. Marianne was easy to spot, because, like her
mother, she had a drink in her hand, even at this early hour in the
day.
Marianne was skinny, with tiny boobs and almost no butt, and her dress
hung from her like she was a hanger. Her hat shaded her eyes from the
sun, but the baggy eyes told the story. Marianne was well on her way to
becoming a lush, just like her mother. I worked my way closer to her
and struck up a conversation.
"You're Marianne Benson! I saw your picture in the paper not to long
ago! My name is Jill Grant."
Marianne smiled and put her hand out to take mine. "Thanks Jill. Are
you new here? I don't think I've seen you around before now."
"Yes, after daddy died I sold everything and moved down here. I like
Savannah so much better, don't you?"
Instantly Marianne warmed up to me. It was obvious that I had money and
'breeding' as her own daddy called it. The host of the garden party
urged everyone to contribute, and as Marianne rummaged in her purse, I
calmly wrote a check for $1000. Marianne saw the amount, and was now
convinced that I was 'of her class'.
"Listen, I'm having a small get together on Friday night, why don't you
join us?" This was going a whole lot better than I ever thought
possible and accepted on the spot. "Just ask for the Benson Mansion;
everybody knows where it is."
"Thank you Marianne, I'll be there."
That afternoon I drove to Audrey's house so that the kids could meet
'Aunt Jill' for the first time. They were young enough to accept me for
what I seemed to be, and little Sara climbed into my lap and promptly
went to sleep. Audrey put the kids down for their nap, and joined me on
the patio.
"How did the date go?" It sounded like such an innocent question, but I
knew that Audrey wanted the details, all of the details!
"We had a nice dinner, we danced, and he took me home. It was very
pleasant."
"Jill!" A smile, unbidden, came to my face and I started to giggle.
"I never thought that I would go out with a man Audrey, never! But Greg
has a way about him that is so hard to say no to!" Then, in a more
serious tone, I added, "I kissed him Audrey, and I liked it! It was
like a jolt of electricity went through me and I couldn't stop."
"You have become a woman Jill. After all this time, your mind has
accepted that the way you look is the way you should be. When I saw you
for the first time after Laura was done, I knew then that Jimmy wasn't
coming back. Jill, you started this with an admirable motive, but now,
while the motive might still be there, you have changed in more ways
than you can realize right now. I see it, and Greg sees it. You have
become not merely a man that looks like a woman, but inside, in your
heart, you have become the woman you always should have been."
"Greg likes you, he's handsome, and you make a cute couple; don't fight
it Jill." Then she added, "I don't think you can anyway. After this is
over, follow your heart and do what you have to do to find happiness.
If that includes Greg, so be it. Just be the best wife you can be." I
did not expect her to say that, and I was confused, but knew that
Audrey was right.
At that same moment Ian O'Keefe was sitting in a magnificent wing back
chair, across a huge, beautiful rug, facing a man with no name. "My
name is not important Mr. O'Keefe, let it suffice to say that I am in a
position to help you." The man that spoke wore a thin gray robe that
swirled around him as he walked, his headpiece sparkling white, his
eyes gray like the ocean, yet sharp and keen. He had a thin narrow chin
covered in hair that was going gray. The image was deceptive. The man
spoke with an English accent and his use of the language belied his
education.
"Ibriham has never once asked for help from me, or anyone I represent,
yet he has always been there when someone needed a bag of groceries, a
coat, maybe some advice, or even a doctor. He and Petra have raised to
two fine sons and they have the honor to watch over our small
community. They have raised them well without any help. Now, after all
these years, he comes to me for help, and not for himself, but for
another, and she is not even of our country! My heart swells with pride
for Ibriham, so how could I possibly say no? Tell me how I can help
you."
Ian O'Keefe wasn't the least bit intimidated by the man, because he
understood the custom of family this man represented. In his culture a
tribe was a single unit and they all worked to support each other in
times of need. No questions, simply a need, an