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The forced feminisation of Simon Part 1 By Dawlish Matt Chapter 1 My nightmare first began in February 2013. It was around 11 on a Tuesday morning and I was in the classroom alongside 20 or so of my classmates in the middle of a history lesson, when there was a sudden knock on the classroom door and a young boy entered and handed a piece of paper to Mr Briggs, the history teacher. After reading the note, Mr Briggs called out my name in front of the whole class, saying " Simon Wilson, you are not in any trouble, but you are to report to the headmaster's study straight away ". Nervously, I gathered up all my belongings before I made my way to the headmaster's study. After knocking on the headmaster's door and being told to enter, I was surprised to see alongside the headmaster were stood 2 female police officers. For the second time I was assured that I was not in any kind of trouble, but I was to go with the two policewomen. They took me outside the building to where their unmarked car was parked. Once we reached the car, I was told to take a seat in the back of the car. By this time I was very scared and began sobbing in the car. The policewoman who sat beside me told me that her name was Kerry, whilst her partner's name was Lucy. As the car began its journey to an unknown destination, Kerry began to explain what the hell was going on. " We have picked you up because you are being detained under section 8 of the 2012 Diversity Act and it is our job to take you to the Assessment Centre." By this time I was sobbing uncontrollably and was comforted by Kerry putting her arm around me. " But I'm not a sissy" I pleaded, "and I definitely don't want to be forced to become a girl", " If what you say is true, then I'm sure that they will soon discover that you are not suffering from any Gender Identity disorders and you will soon be discharged", said Lucy. The journey to the Assessment Centre took about 2 hours and I was escorted to the centre by the two policewomen. Once inside, we were taken to a large room and informed that the doctor would see us shortly. We only waited a few minutes before 2 women entered the room. I guess the older of the women was about 50 years old, whilst the younger lady probably around 30. Shortly after the doctor arrived, the policewomen both wished me luck before they left. The older lady introduced herself as Dr Whitelegg, Consultant in Gender Identity Disorders and the younger woman introduced herself as head nurse Lisa Hogg. Dr Whitelegg started the conversation by explaining why I was being detained at this centre. "We had a referral from your family doctor who was concerned along with both your mother and sister that you may be suffering from a condition called Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder. It is our job at this centre to properly assess you". " But I don't have any gender disorder and I'm happy as a boy. I don't want to be forced to become a girl ". " You may well be right and if so, you will be discharged in a few days," the doctor said. "You must be very anxious, angry and upset right now, Simon," nurse Lisa said. "I will take you to your room where you can relax for a few hours before teatime at 7pm. At tea you will get the chance to meet the other 11 clients we have staying here for assessments. " Lisa then handed me 2 leaflets which explained Section 8 and Section 9 of the gender Diversity Act 2012. I was horrified as I began reading first the section 8 leaflet. THE GENDER DIVERSITY ACT 2012 SECTION 8 The ASSESSMENT. 1. You have been detained at a Gender Identity Centre as your doctor or a parent/guardian believes that you are suffering from Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder (SGID) 2. Under Section 8, you can be detained for up to 28 days for a full assessment to take place. 3. During the 28 day assessment period, you will not be allowed to leave the centre, unless the consultant in charge of your assessment believes that you are not suffering from SGID, in which case you will be discharged from the centre. 4. If after the section 8 period of 28 days has expired and your consultant has diagnosed you as suffering from SGID, you will be placed on Section 9 of The Gender Diversity Act 2012 and taken to a treatment centre. 5. There is no right of appeal under section 8 of this act. If reading the leaflet that explained section 8 of the Gender Diversity Act, 2012 wasn't scary enough, the section 9 leaflet was yet worse. THE GENDER DIVERSITY ACT 2012 SECTION 9: TREATMENT 1. You have been detained at a Gender Identity Treatment Centre because your consultant has assessed you under Section 8 of the Gender Diversity Act 2012 and diagnosed you as suffering from Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder. 2. Under section 9 of this Act, you can be detained against your will for a period of up to 2 years. This is because your complete transition from male to female, or from female to male, will take up to 2 years to complete . 3. After the detention period of 2 years has expired, you will be discharged from the clinic. 4. There is no right of appeal of Section 9 of the Gender Diversity Act 2012. I spent several hours in my room trying to understand why my mother and sister would think that I wanted to be a sissy girl. I certainty had never cross-dressed or had any desire to have a sex change. I was very happy at being an average 14-year-old boy. At around 6.45pm, nurse Lisa came to my room to inform me that it was teatime and to take me to the dining room where I would meet the other 11 clients being held for assessment at the centre. On arrival at the dining room, Lisa introduced me to the other clients. What surprised me was that out of the 11 people, 2 were girls. I also discovered that all 12 of us were children, Eric at 17 was the oldest, while I at 14 was the youngest. After we had finished our food, 8 of us went to the lounge while the others went to their rooms. I was astonished to discover that the lounge was huge and contained a snooker table, a very large television, hundreds of DVDS and a wide selection of books on various subjects. It soon became clear that despite being detained against our will, the 28 day stay at the centre would be made as comfortable as possible. Being the new patient, everyone wanted to know how I ended up at the centre and I told them that I had been picked up at school during a history lesson earlier that day. All the others had similar stories. Eric had been picked up from home 10 days ago; Martin, Stephen, Robert and Peter were, like me, picked up from school. Matthew and the 2 girls were picked up on returning home from school: the police were waiting for them inside their homes. All of us agreed that there must be a mistake as none of us wanted to be turned into girls and the two girls, Penny and Sophie had no desire to become boys. At 10pm, we were all told by nurse Lisa that it was time for bed and to go to our rooms. I however first had to follow Lisa to her office for a blood test. Inside her office, Lisa requested that I remove my trousers and underwear. Once naked from the waist down, I was instructed to lie on the couch. After taking my blood sample, Lisa explained that as there were both boys and girls at the centre, all the boys had to be fitted with a chastity device. She then proceeded to place a metal ring around the base of my penis, before placing my penis inside a small metal tube. Both the tube and ring were then joined together before being locked by a padlock. Once she had finished, I got dressed and returned to my room for the night. Chapter 2 I was surprised how well I slept on my first night at the assessment centre. Looking back now, I guess that the glass of orange juice that I drank about half an hour before going to bed must have been laced with a strong sedative. I was awoken the following morning, my first full day at the assessment centre, by a pretty young woman whose name badge told me that she was Emily Brooks, nursing assistant at the centre. " Wakey wakey, sleepy head ", she said. " It's 7.30 and breakfast time is in half an hour at 8 o'clock ". On getting out of bed, a feel of discomfort from my groin soon reminded me of the chastity device that had been fitted to my penis the previous night. Nurse Lisa had said that all the boys at the centre had to wear a chastity device because there were girls as well as boys being detained at the assessment centre. I guess that made some sort of sense. After taking a shower, I returned to my room and began to look for some clothes to wear for the day. I was somewhat surprised that the wardrobe and drawers in my room contained my own clothes from home. I guess that my mother or the policewomen who first brought me to the centre must have brought my clothing. I decided to wear my favourite top, a Liverpool football club shirt and a pair of jeans. Once dressed, I made my way to the dining room for breakfast. When I entered the dining room, several of the other clients were already there, eating breakfast. I helped myself to a couple of slices of toast and a bowl of cornflakes. As I was eating, Emily approached the table I was sitting at alongside Stephen, Robert and Sophie ,and informed me that I had my first formal assessment consultation with Doctor Whitelegg at 11am. Nervously, I asked the other 3 at the table what would happen at my first assessment. Robert said that they ask you all sorts of questions, such as how well you are getting on at school, do you have many friends and what are your hobbies. It's nothing to worry about, Sophie added. Chapter 3 I was in the lounge just before 11am watching YouTube music videos alongside most of the others when nurse Lisa came to collect me, for my first assessment. On the way to the assessment room, Lisa could clearly see that I was very anxious and tried to reassure me that I had nothing to worry about. As we entered the room, Dr Whitelegg asked us to sit down, and proceeded to introduce the other three women sitting with her behind a large table. Firstly she introduced Samantha Walker who was a social worker. The second woman she introduced as Debbie Valentine, a junior doctor and Dr Whitelegg's assistant. Lastly she introduced the third lady as Susan Saunders, who, like Lisa, was a senior nurse at the centre. Dr Whitelegg began the assessment by saying that I was going to be asked several questions by both herself and Samantha Walker, the social worker. " So Simon, tell me a little bit about yourself,". "What do you want to know?", I replied. "How well are you doing at school, what are your favourite subjects at school, do you have many friends at school, what are your hobbies, that sort of thing," Samantha asked. " Well I guess I do well at school, and have many friends both at school and at home. My favourite subject is mathematics, and I love watching and playing sports and watching my favourite team, Liverpool, play" I responded. The next question that I was asked, this time from Dr Whitelegg completely caught me by surprise. " So when did you first start wearing your sister's clothes?", she asked. Close to tears, I responded " I have never worn any of my sister's stuff or any other girl's clothing. I am not a sissy". " Interesting" was the doctor's reply. Dr Whitelegg then opened a folder which was on her table and produced several photographs. The first one she handed to me was a photo of me wearing exactly the same clothes I was wearing today. " Look closely, Simon, and tell me if you can see anything out of place in the photograph" "No " I responded. The second photo she handed me was much larger, but was an exact copy of the first one. " This photo is the same photo as before, but it has been enlarged to 10 times its original size. Take a close look at your chest, Simon, can you see you have two little breasts? Also, if you look at your back, you can clearly see the outline of the bra that you are wearing". To say I was shocked by this evidence was a massive understatement. I had never worn any item of girls' clothing and definitely not a bra. But I can't deny that somehow the photos said otherwise. The next 2 photographs that I was shown were even more shocking. They both showed me in my bedroom at home, sitting on my bed and doing my school homework. In both of them, you could clearly see the school uniform that I am wearing. The only problem was that I'm not wearing my own uniform, but clearly wearing my sister's school uniform. They showed me wearing her school blouse, and the bra underneath can clearly be seen through the thin material of the blouse. Lower down in the photos, they clearly showed that I'm wearing her knee length black school skirt. Both photos also showed my legs encased in a pair of black tights. After seeing the photos of me wearing my sister's school uniform, I became hysterical. " This can't be true ", I protested. " I don't know what the hell is going on, but I have never worn my sister's school uniform " Thankfully, seeing my distress, Dr Whitelegg concluded the meeting and nurse Lisa was asked to take me back to my room. Shortly after returning to my room with Lisa, another nurse entered the room and gave me an injection in my left arm to calm me down. Chapter 4 Following the disastrous first formal assessment with Dr Whitelegg and the other 3 women, the injection that I received shortly after returning to my room with nurse Lisa certainty did its job, for the next thing that I can remember is being woken up by Emily, the nursing assistant. " What time is it?" I asked her. " It's 7.30, and you need to shower and get dressed for breakfast" she responded. "Breakfast?" I said, very surprised. " Yes, sleepyhead, that injection the nurse gave you yesterday knocked you out for 19 hours". After showering and getting dressed, I made my way to the dining room for breakfast. After getting my toast and cornflakes, I sat at the same table as the day before, with Stephen, Robert and Sophie. As I ate my food, I was rather quiet and subdued, probably due to the effects of the injection and the trauma of my formal assessment of the previous day. This didn't go unnoticed by my 3 new friends and it was Sophie who spoke first, asking if I was OK. I was very reluctant to talk about my assessment, especially the damming evidence of the photographs, so I just responded by saying that I was both anxious and scared in case I was diagnosed with Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder and placed on section 9 of the Gender Diversity Act, which would mean that I would be forced to have a sex- change operation. Peter tried to reassure me by stating that he had been detained at the centre for 3 weeks and in that time a total of 8 boys have been released from their Section 8 order and discharged and sent home. Not one single boy or girl had been given the diagnosis of SGID and sent away for a sex change. After breakfast, the 4 of us who had become friends in just a couple of days, made our way to the lounge to continue our conversation. The conversation changed to one about what happens day to day on the unit. "What do you guys do on a daily basis?" I asked my new friends. " It can be quite boring at times" said Sophie, "though there is quite a lot that we can do. They have literally hundreds of the latest DVDs that you can watch, and there's obviously the snooker table and cable TV. " "Outside the unit they have a tennis court, a football pitch and even a heated swimming pool located in the grounds", Peter added. " Oh," I responded, " I didn't know that we were allowed outside". "Yeah, usually they let you outside accompanied by a member of staff after a few days, and after a couple of weeks we're allowed outside alone", Stephen added. " I know it's probably a stupid question, but why don't you just run away?", I asked. "Security is very tight here and very hi-tech. Haven't you noticed that none of the doors here have a lock and key?" said Sophie. She then went on to explain how the tight security works. " Every single door has a little pad for fingerprint recognition. The computer stores all the staff members' fingerprints and when they place their fingers on the pad the door automatically opens. Before we are allowed outside and into the grounds of the centre, we have to wear an electronic bracelet that only the staff can remove. Around the edge of the grounds there are electronic sensors and if you get too close the bracelets start to vibrate. If you move closer to the sensors you start to receive an electric shock. The closer you get, the more powerful the shock". " I guess we are just like prisoners then, locked inside the centre's boundaries?" I moaned, "and the worse thing about it is that it's all legal!" "Yes", said my 3 friends in unison. Chapter 5 I was sat in the lounge in mid-afternoon, watching YouTube music videos when I was approached by Lisa and Emily. " The Doctor has given us permission to take you outside for some fresh air, if you would like a tour of the grounds" Lisa announced. "Yeah, I'd love to get some fresh air" I responded. " You'd better go to your room and get your coat, it's freezing cold outside", replied Emily. After wrapping up nice and warm, Lisa requested that I hold out my left arm. I knew from my conversation with my 3 friends from earlier what to expect, so I was not surprised when she locked the bracelet around my wrist. I must say that I really enjoyed my walk around the grounds, as it gave both myself and Lisa a chance to discuss informally the purpose of my detention. Lisa began by explaining in detail all about my Section 8 detention. "In the 2 years before the Gender Diversity Act 2012 became law, there were over 3,000 suicides of people who were having gender identity issues. In response to this, the 10 different Sections of the Gender Diversity Act were drawn up by several world-renowned gender specialists from around the globe and thankfully became law by an Act of Parliament in 2012. Our expertise is in Section 8 of this Act. Our unit deals with both boys and girls whom close family members believe may be suffering from a condition called SGID, or Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder. In your particular case, your mother and sister were very concerned about you. After showing the photos of you, the same ones that Dr Whitelegg showed you yesterday wearing your sister's school uniform, she made a Section 8 referral to us. After we saw the photos, we decided to place you on a Section 8 for assessment here at the Centre". "But I'm so confused, Lisa. I've honestly never worn my sister's school uniform, her underwear, or any item of any girls' clothing in my life. I love being a boy". " I understand completely what you are saying, Simon, but the photos suggest overwise". " That's just what I don't understand. How can you have photographs of me on my bed at home dressed in my sister's school uniform?" "I don't know, Simon, but we can only base our assessments on evidence. And the evidence is pretty conclusive" On returning to the centre, I knew that as it was now the third day of my 28-day assessment, I had 25 days to discover where these photos of me in my sister's school uniform came from. I knew that they were forgeries and had get released before I could be diagnosed with SGID and put on a Section 9 and forced to become a girl. I therefore decided that tomorrow after breakfast I would tell my 3 friends my story and try to figure what the hell was going on Chapter 6 At breakfast the following day, I told Peter, Stephen and Sophie all about my first assessment and about the photographs of me wearing my sister's school uniform. Sophie tried to ease the situation by joking, saying that she had some skirts and dresses in her room that I could borrow - at least I hope she was joking. "Seriously guys, it's not looking good for me", I said. " Yesterday I had a walk around the grounds with Lisa and Emily and we discussed my first assessment. I tried to explain to them that somehow they had got hold of forged photographs and I was insisting that I have never worn any girls' stuff, but I know she didn't believe me." For the next few days I settled into a routine: each day after breakfast, my friends and I went to the lounge to talk, we would watch 2 or 3 DVDs a day and I would go for a walk with Lisa or another member of staff. This situation changed on day 8 when I had my second formal assessment. I was both anxious and nervous as Lisa came to take me to my second assessment. She tried to reassure me, but remembering my disastrous first assessment, unfortunately her attempts were in vain. As we entered the assessment room, in addition to the same 3 women who were present at my previous meeting, I was shocked to see my mother and sister too! After the several minutes it took me to regain my composure and recover from the shock of seeing my mother and sister present in the room, Dr Whitelegg began the meeting. "We have invited your mother and your sister Hailey to get their side of the story, as they are the ones who first believed that you may be suffering from SGID and informed your doctor." Turning to Hailey, Dr Whitelegg asked her why she had suspected me of having SGID. "Well doctor, I first noticed about 2 years ago that some of my clothing would disappear from my underwear drawers and would reappear a day or so later." "Can you give us some examples, Hailey?" the Doctor asked. "I can remember about a year ago I had just purchased an expensive set of lingerie as I had a hot date with my boyfriend Alex. I also purchased an expensive figure hugging white minidress which cost me over ? 200. The day before my date I went to my lingerie drawer as I wanted to put on my new basque, matching panties and the black stockings to show my mother and ask her if she thought I looked sexy enough for my boyfriend. When I opened the lingerie drawer, all these items were missing." "So what did you do, Hailey?" "Well doctor, I guessed that my brother had taken my lingerie, as this was not the first time, but although I was furious, he was not home so I couldn't confront him. When I looked in my closet, I also discovered that my expensive white minidress was also missing" At this point, I was furious. I stood up and shouted at my sister " You're a liar Hailey, you know what you just said is a pack of lies. Why are you doing this to me, Hailey?" Dr Whitelegg intervened and asked me to sit down. "Simon, you need to calm down", she said. "Your sister maybe telling us the truth, or she may be telling us lies. Please remember that you are here for 28 days for assessment for SGID. The 28 days gives us plenty of time to discover who is telling the truth and who is not. Think of the situation as a courtroom. You are on trial for murder and have pleaded not guilty. It is the prosecution's job to prove that you're guilty and your defence team's job to prove your innocence. We are like the jury. We make our decisions only on the evidence provided." Dr Whitelegg again turned to Hailey and asked her " Can you give us some other examples of your suspicions that your brother was secretly wearing your clothes?" "It was about a year before the example that I gave you earlier that I became suspicious about Simon wearing my stuff. Sometimes after I would buy a new skirt, dress or top, when I came to wear them, they seemed stretched, like they were secondhand or something. Being new and very expensive, I knew that it had to be Simon. That's when I knew I had to tell mum, but first I wanted to have some clear evidence. This is when I had the idea to secretly take photographs of my brother wearing my clothes." " So, tell us, Hailey, how you executed your plan and took the photos of Simon in his bedroom wearing your old school uniform", asked Samantha Walker the social worker. " It was quite easy really. Mum had gone away on the Friday night for a short weekend break with Sean, her new boyfriend, leaving just Simon and me at home for 3 days. On the second day, I told Simon that I was going to my best friend's home and that in the evening we were going to a party. I told Simon that I would be spending the night at Sarah's house and would be home the next day. Although there was not a party, I did plan to sleep overnight at Sarah's house. At around 6pm, I secretly sneaked back home and when I crept upstairs to Simon's bedroom, I saw his door was wide open and I could clearly see him on his bed, wearing my old school uniform. That's when I took several photographs." "So what did you do next, Hailey?" "I went back to Sarah's house and waited until mum returned home to show her the photos. After several days, not knowing what to do, mum decided to tell our doctor." "Thank you, Hailey, you've been very helpful", Samantha Walker concluded. I don't know how on earth I managed not to explode, having just listened to the complete pack of lies that my sister had told. The only thing I did know for sure was that I was now in deep deep trouble. Chapter 7 Nurse Lisa walked me back to my room following my assessment. Obviously, I was still angry and upset at what Hailey had said at the meeting. Every single word that came from her mouth was a lie. Lisa asked me if I wanted anything to calm me down but I declined, knowing that the two previous times I received medication I was knocked out, the second time for 19 hours, For the next hour or so, I sat on my bed, trying to work out why Hailey would tell all those lies about me cross-dressing, but I could not come up with any explanation. I loved my family and I was pretty close to both mother and my sister. Yes, we had arguments, but so does every family. I was trying to think back as to what had caused Hailey to tell such serious lies, the result of which could completely change my life. But the Section 8 detention on which I was being held didn't allow me any direct contact to any of my friends or family. After lunch, I approached Lisa and asked her if I could go for a walk outside to get some fresh air. Lisa said that would be fine, but she couldn't take me as she had another assessment to attend that afternoon. "I will get Emily to take you," she suggested. After wrapping up warm, it being the end of February with the heavy snow that had fallen a few days earlier still on the ground, I wore my warm coat, hat and scarf. After Emily had placed the bracelet on my left wrist, we left the building and began our walk. Emily was a very attractive young woman; she told me she was 22 years old and I guess I did have a crush on her. This was confirmed, as during our 2-hour stroll, the discomfort I felt coming from between my legs, the result of my penis trying to become erect but unable to do so due to my chastity device, proved this. After about 20 minutes, we found a seat and sat down and had an interesting conversation. Emily's story of how she ended up working as a nursing assistant in a Section 8 assessment centre was a sad one. " I was born alongside my twin brother 22 years ago in the south west of England", she began. "For most of my childhood I was a very happy young girl. My father was a managing director of a large engineering company and my mother was a solicitor working for a firm in Exeter. When me and Daniel, my twin brother, were around 14 years old, I discovered that he was secretly wearing my clothes." " How did you find out?" I asked her. "Well, it was in the school summer holidays and with both mum and dad at work, it was just Daniel and me at home. On this particular day I had arranged to go into town with a few of my friends. After about an hour or so, I began feeling unwell, so I decided to return home. When I entered the lounge, my brother was sat watching the television. I was shocked to see him wearing my favourite flower print cotton dress" "Oh my god", I said, " what did you do?" "Well, on seeing me, Daniel got up from the chair and ran past me and upstairs to his bedroom. At this stage, I didn't know what to do. Should I phone mum, should I go upstairs and confront him? I just didn't know what to do". I could clearly see a few tears rolling down Emily's pretty face as she continued her story. " After about 15 minutes, I heard the front door close, I was sat in the lounge and I knew it was Daniel. He was probably very embarrassed that I had caught him wearing my clothes. A few hours later, mum and dad returned home from work. Meanwhile, I had decided not to tell my parents about Daniel just yet, as I wanted to confront him first. At around 7pm and there being no sign of Daniel, mother asked me where he was. I don't know, I said, he's probably in the park playing football with his friends. At around 10pm and still no sign of Daniel, we all began to get worried. I therefore had no choice but to tell them what had happened earlier and that I had caught him wearing my clothes. After hearing my story, mum called the police and reported Daniel missing. Because of the circumstances, the police treated the incident as a priority and a search party was launched. Shortly after midnight, Daniel's body was found, hanging from a branch of a tree in nearby woods. Poor Daniel had committed suicide". By this time, the tears were flowing down poor Emily's face and so I put my arm around her to comfort her. Emily completed her tragic story by saying that she wanted to dedicate her life to help young people who are struggling with their gender identity, in her brother's memory. On returning to the building, I was met by Sophie and Peter who had some very good news. "I've been discharged from my section and am going home," Peter said excitedly. " Wow, that's fantastic news, Peter. I'm so happy for you. What happened?" I asked. "I went to my fifth formal assessment, and Dr Whitelegg said that I showed no signs of SGID, and to pack my stuff as my parents were on their way to the unit to take me home." I felt happy for Peter, and his being discharged after being detained for over 3 weeks gave me a glimmer of hope. Peter's room didn't stay vacant for long though, as within a few hours, a new patient, a young girl called Vanessa, was admitted to the unit. Vanessa was probably the most stunningly beautiful girl that I have ever seen. What the hell is she doing here, detained on Section 8 of the Gender Diversity Act? This I was determined to find out. Chapter 8 It was at breakfast the next day, day 11 of my detention, that I had my first opportunity to speak to Vanessa. She was a 17-year-old girl who had been detained for assessment at the centre because she regularly self-harmed. The mental health professionals didn't know why she regularly cut herself and wanted to explore the possibility that she may be suffering from SGID. To me, this seemed ridiculous. Looking at her across the breakfast table, it was hard to take my eyes of this beautiful woman who was wearing a figure hugging mini-dress, which did nothing to hide her huge beautiful breasts. Several times during breakfast, I kept moving around on my seat, due to the damn chastity belt preventing my penis from becoming erect. The next few days passed without any problems and on day 16 of my detention, I was informed that I was to undergo my 3rd formal assessment. Coincidentally, Sophie, who was on day 25 of her 28 day detention, also had a formal assessment, her fifth in total. While I again was nervous, Sophie meanwhile was very excited. She said that she was expecting to be discharged from her section and allowed to go home. I was first to be called to the assessment centre by nurse Lisa and on entering the room, I was relieved to see that neither my mother or sister were in attendance. Alongside Dr Whitelegg were Dr Debbie Valentine, and Samantha Walker, the social worker. As on the previous occasions, it was Dr Whitelegg who began the meeting. There are literally dozens of gender identity disorders, she began, Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder, SGID, being just one of them. Even SGID has many forms. It may be that an individual is very aware that they are transsexual, but for many different reasons they choose to keep their gender issues secret. Perhaps a father may feel that his children would disown him, it may be because a child feels that their parents would disown them if they came out as being trans. There's also the fear of losing friends or their job; the list is endless. A much rarer form is when the individual concerned doesn't realise themselves that they are suffering from SGID, but it is noticeable to their close family members and friends. "We here at the Assessment Centre believe that you are suffering from SGID " she continued. "Although the clinic has only been open for 6 months, we have had over 50 patients sent here for assessment, of which only 2 have been diagnosed with the condition. But in your case we are 100% sure that you would grow up to be a very unhappy man and probably commit suicide by the age of 25 if we release without further intervention. You will now be placed on Section 9 of the Gender Identity Act and this evening you will be taken to a treatment centre to begin your transition. We all wish you well for the future, Simon." Before I even had a chance to respond, I felt a sharp prick on the back of my neck and had just about enough time to turn around and see Lisa put the empty syringe back into her pocket before I collapsed. Part 2 Chapter 8 I awoke somewhat confused, and it took me several minutes before I realized that I was not in my old bedroom at the Assessment Unit. I also realized that my chastity device was causing a dull pain between my legs. Getting out of bed, I found I was now wearing what was clearly a girl's nightdress instead of wearing my boy's pyjamas. The bedroom I was in was obviously a girl's room and I was totally confused. My last memories were of my 3rd assessment at the assessment centre and of being given the shocking news that they had diagnosed me as suffering from SGID and I was to be transferred from Section 8 to Section 9 of the Gender Diversity Act. It was now clear that I was now being held at the treatment centre and that my forced feminisation was about to begin. I approached the large mirror situated in my room and lifted my nightdress to try and adjust my damn chastity device that was causing me discomfort. After removing the nightdress, I stood naked in front of the mirror and was horrified to see that I was no longer wearing that awful device, but the pain was caused because I had been castrated. I still had my penis, but hanging either side of it was my now empty scrotum. I went back to my bed and sat down on the bed feeling angry, upset and devastated; the floods of tears were rolling down my face as I now knew that my forced feminisation had begun and that I would never grow up to be a man. Instead I would be forced to live the life of a woman. A few minutes after the shock of realising that I had been castrated, there was a knock at my room door before 2 women entered my room. " Good morning Alice," the older of the two women said. " I see you're quite distressed. I completely understand that finding that you have been castrated must be a huge shock, and we are here to help you". The name badges that these women wore told me that the older women was senior nurse Maureen Clarke and the younger woman was nursing assistant Beverly Thomas. Beverly was holding a large file and Maureen asked her to give it to me. "This file contains everything you need to know about the Ferndale Treatment Centre and what to expect during your 2-year stay with us. I know you must have hundreds of questions right now, but I suggest you read the folder first and if you are unclear about anything, we will be happy to help. Now we need to get you dressed, Alice." The 2 closets located in my new bedroom contained nothing but skirts and dresses; there were even 2 identical schoolgirl uniforms, and the underwear drawers were full of lingerie. Although reluctant, I decided to cooperate with the women at this stage because I guessed that if I refused to wear the girls' clothing they would somehow force me to do so. First of all, I picked a plain white bra and pantie set; having put on the panties, I picked up the bra, but having no idea how to put it on, Beverly had to show me how women put on their bras. Although she said nothing, I could clearly see the look of confusion on Maureen's face as Beverly explained to me how to put on a bra. Being clueless about young girl's fashion, I reluctantly accepted Beverly's suggestions and slipped into a knee length cotton print dress. Next came the gel inserts that I placed inside the cups and Maureen commented that I would have to wear them until my own breasts developed in a few months time. Great, I thought to myself, not only have I just found out that I've lost my balls, now I'm being told I'm going to grow tits! After a wig, girls shoes and socks were added. I was now ready to face the other patients on the ward. On leaving my room with Maureen and Beverly, I said to them " I guess I'm Alice now and not Simon?" Despite my great embarrassment, Beverly tried to reassure me that I looked fine and so my tour of the place which was to be my home for the next 2 years began. The Ferndale Centre was huge and covered an area of 10 acres. "There are between 600 and 700 patients of all ages at the centre" Maureen began. " Most of the patients here are voluntary. We cater for transsexuals who are undergoing their gender change, plus a small number of people, usually around 15 to 20, who like you are detained on a Section 9. We have 2 wards for Section 9 patients and you're on Ash Ward, alongside 8 other patients. The other ward, Oak Ward, currently has 10 patients. At the moment we have just over 200 children aged between 14 and 18; you are the youngest. Of these there are about 180 male to female transsexuals and 30 female to male patients. All the children at the Ferndale Centre have to live a normal a life as possible during their transition and we even have a school here which you will attend, which has 8 classrooms". " I wondered what the two school uniforms were doing in my closet", I commented. As at the treatment centre, security was very tight; they even had the same fingerprint activated door lock system on Ash and Oak wards. Slowly, we walked from one end of the ward to the other. I was introduced to the other 8 patients on my ward, 5 of whom were sat in the lounge watching a DVD. Julia, at 19, was the oldest patient on the ward. She was what I would describe as good-looking and had been a patient for around 18 months. She had large breasts, much bigger than my B-cup inserts, and she wore a red blouse and a pair of jeans. When she stood up to shake my hand, it was impossible to detect that just 18 months ago, she had been a boy." God", I thought to myself. "I hope my boobs don't grow that big". Next I was introduced to Donna. Donna had been a patient for about a year and although her body was very feminine, her boobs were not as big as Julia's. She was wearing a yellow tee-shirt and a knee length jeans skirt. Next came Holly, Catherine and Penny. Holly had been here for about 9 months, Catherine 6 months and Penny had been detained for 3 months. Holly was wearing a black jumper and trousers and her body was less developed than the first 2 patients that I was introduced to, although her boobs were about the same size as my falsies. It was hard to tell if they were real. Both Catherine and Penny were wearing dresses and I guessed that their boobs were false as it was clear to see that the hormones had yet to feminise their bodies. There were 3 further patients that I was yet to meet. As we went to the dining room area, we came across 2 more patients who Beverly introduced as Sabrina and Lucy. Sabrina had been detained for just over a year and Lucy for 5 months. Like Julia, Sabrina's body looked well developed and her boobs were much bigger than any of other patients' except Julia. Lucy meanwhile, was probably wearing gel inserts. The last person I was to meet was, like me, a new arrival to the ward. His name was Martin and he was the only female to male patient being detained on a Section 9. We eventually located Martin in his bedroom. After Maureen knocked twice on his door, Maureen, Beverly and I entered his room. Martin was sat on his bed, sobbing, and Maureen and Beverly sat down either side of him on his bed, trying to comfort him. When I finally got a chance to look at Martin's face, I nearly died from the shock. Martin was actually Sophie, my friend from the assessment centre. After recovering from the shock of seeing Sophie and explaining to both nurse Maureen and Beverly that I was friends with Sophie, now Martin, both women left us alone to talk. Like me, Martin had already had the first of many surgeries. He lifted up the black tee-shirt he was wearing and showed me his chest. Instead of seeing his generous breasts encased in a bra, his chest was as flat as mine; the two large scars on his chest confirmed that he had undergone a double mastectomy. I explained to him that I had also undergone surgery, an orchidectomy. Looking at the situation we were both in, we agreed that we would help each other through our enforced sex changes by being there for each other. Chapter 9 Like me, Martin had been given a large file, explaining what to expect during our 2 year stay at the Ferndale Centre and we decided to go through the file together. The first several pages explained the Section 9 of the Gender Diversity Act that we were being held on, the next subject was about the 3 different levels of our detention. Level 1 patients were like me and Martin, new patients who had just been detained at the clinic. Basically, all level 1 patients were closely monitored, with checks made every 15 minutes to minimise the risk of self-harm or suicide. I guess that this made sense, as waking up to find that you've had an orchidectomy or a double mastectomy could drive many patients to kill themselves. Level 2 patients were monitored less frequently, usually the checks on their welfare are made every 2 or 3 hours and Level 3 patients were checked only a few times a week. The next section was what I called the scary section. This part explained the complete 2-year process of the medical treatment we would undergo during the 2 year detention period. Part 1 explained that on admission to the ward, all patients were now considered as being of their new gender. Former males would undergo an orchidectomy within 24 hours and at the same time, 6 very powerful slow-release female hormone implants would be placed at various sites in the body. The reason given for the castration was that the main source of the male hormone testosterone was the testicles. Removing the testicles allowed the new female hormones to become more effective. For people like Martin, the explanation for his double mastectomy was a simple one: Martin was now a officially boy and boys don't have C-cup breasts like Sophie did just a few days ago. Like the new girls, the new boys were given 6 slow release powerful testosterone implants to slowly reshape their bodies. Part 2 explained how the hormones would slowly reshape our bodies. For the new girls like me, the first symptoms of the female hormones would be nausea. You may feel sick or be sick for the first few weeks, it said: this is normal, as your body adjusts to the new drugs. After about 3 - 4 months, you will notice that your nipples will become itchy and in some cases, painful. This is the first sign of your breast development. After around 9 - 10 months, your breasts will have grown to be B-cup in size and will continue to grow. At the same time, your body will become more feminine. After 16 - 18 months, your breasts should have reached their maximum size. The hormone implants that you have given contain a hormone that will make your final breast size at least a C-cup. Your body will also now be fully feminised, and you will have a hourglass figure. "Great", I said to Martin. "In 18 months time I'm going have huge tits" This made Martin laugh. "It's pretty ironic isn't it" he said. "Just a few days ago I was a girl with C-cup tits and you were a flat chested boy. Now my tits have been cut off and in 18 months time you're going to have C-cup tits hanging from your chest. Why didn't they just cut off my tits and sew them onto your chest and save time?" This made me laugh also, and this was noted by both Maureen and Beverly who had entered Martin's room to check up on us. I was glad that at least I had a friend and we could support each other as we went through our enforced gender changes. Chapter 10 The first two weeks of my detention at the Ferndale Centre passed very slowly and I became very bored, having little to occupy my mind. Most of the other patients had activities to attend on weekdays and were only around during the day at weekends. Julia, the oldest patient at 19, was working at one of the 4 hairdressing salons located on the Ferndale site and seemed to have accepted her fate. After 12 months detention, she would always look stunning. Everything about her screamed female: the way she dressed, either in a short skirt or figure- hugging dress seemed to confirm my suspicions. Donna who was 17 years old, Sabrina and Catherine who were 16, and 15 year old Lucy, all attended the school. I watched with mixed emotions as each weekday morning at breakfast, the 4 former boys sat at the table in their smart schoolgirl uniforms. I dreaded the thought that soon I would be joining them, dressed in one of the 2 schoolgirl uniforms that were in the closet in my bedroom. The other 2 patients, Penny and my friend Sophie, did not yet attend school. Penny apparently had been detained for about 3 months and like Donna was 17 years old. But it seemed Penny had complications following her castration and both Sophie and I were given a month until we had to attend school, to allow our surgeries to heal. Being classed as level 1 patients, both Sophie and I were closely monitored for the first 2 weeks as we were deemed to be at high risk of suicide, and checks were done as to our whereabouts on the ward at 15 minute intervals. This I found to be quite annoying. During the first week, both Sophie and I were assigned a psychologist, Miss Doreen James, to help us cope with the surgeries that we had already had and the surgeries that we were going to have during our detention. We were also assigned a consultant psychiatrist, Dr John O'Leary whose job was to regularly assess our mental health during our enforced gender change. Although my name had been legally changed from Simon to Alice and Sophie was now legally Martin, we both decided that we would use our former names and try and put up a fight to the end. Our first sign of rebellion was that we decided to become transvestites. As part of the process, all new girls had to wear skirts or dresses and lingerie, whereas Sophie could only wear boys clothing. Each day I would be forced to wear lingerie and a dress, but after breakfast we would go back to Sophie's room and swap clothing. It sounds bizarre that Sophie, who was born a girl, and I who was born male, were being forced to change our birth sex and dress as a member of our new gender. By me wearing Sophie's boy clothes and her wearing my lingerie and dresses, we were technically transvestites. Unfortunately our rebellion backfired on us: after several warnings, which we ignored, Sophie was transferred from Ash Ward to Oak Ward. But her transfer made me more determined than ever to rebel. Although I knew deep down inside that the enforced sex change was quite legal under the new Gender Diversity Act and I had no right of appeal against Dr Whitelegg's diagnosis of SGID, I would nevertheless fight every stage of my transition from male to female. At my first session with Doreen James, the psychologist, I refused to answer any of her questions and insisted that she call me Simon, not Alice, which she refused to do. And at my first session with Dr O'Leary, I refused to cooperate with him too. It was during the third week that I was forced to attend a meeting with the ward manager, Mr Stephen Jones. In addition to myself and Mr Jones, the meeting was attended by nurse Maureen, Beverly the nursing assistant and Doreen James, the psychologist. Mr Jones sat behind the desk in his office and I sat facing Mr Jones with Maureen on my left side and Beverly to my right. Doreen James sat a few feet away from me. Mr Jones began by asking me a very odd question. " Do you like breasts Alice?" he said. "My name is Simon, not Alice and yes I do like breasts" I responded. He then proceeded to show me four pictures of topless women. The first picture was of a woman aged about 20. " I want you to take a close look at her breasts and tell me if you like them". Looking at the picture, the woman's breasts were hardly noticeable. She was flat chested. " They're very small," I responded to the question. The second picture showed a woman of about the same age but her breasts were much more noticeable "Do you like those breasts Alice?" Mr Jones asked. "I guess they're OK " was my response. "Well Alice, those breast' are B-cup in size," he said. The third picture was that of a woman, again around the same age as the two other women, but the most noticeable difference was that this time the breasts were much larger. " Do you like these breasts Alice?" Mr Jones again asked. " Yes," I said," they're beautiful". "Those breasts are C-cup in size," he said. The fourth picture was again of a topless woman, but this time her breasts were huge. " Those breasts that you are looking at are a DD-cup size", Mr Jones said. " You have been on the ward for three weeks now, Alice, and I think it's time to put you straight about a few things. You are being held here because you have been diagnosed with Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder, SGID, and sent here for treatment. You may try and fight us, most new girls do, but you will not succeed. You will complete the treatment plan that our doctors have drawn up for you and you will become a woman. If you try and fight us, you will be punished. Take another look at the fourth picture I handed to you earlier, the one with the woman with the DD-cup breasts. If you continue to refuse to cooperate with us, you will be taken to the surgery unit and given similar DD-cup breast implants. Then, as your own breasts begin to develop, I imagine that when you are discharged in 2 years time, you will probably have grown to gigantic HH-cup breasts. If that's what you want, then carry on rebelling. If not, I suggest you cooperate with my staff". I knew at this point that there was very little I could do but to cooperate with the staff. The only glimmer of hope that I could hang on to was to go back to those photographs that Hailey my sister had somehow made and prove to the staff that I had been set up. Chapter 11 As the end of March approached, and with the Easter weekend just days away, I received 2 pieces of bad news. Both my mother and Hailey were coming to visit me for the Easter break and would be staying in one of the 3 hotels located in the Ferndale Centre grounds. My mother and sister were the last 2 people on earth that I wanted to see, especially Hailey, as it was her lies that were forcing me to become a woman. But with the threat of DD-cup breast implants still fresh in my mind, I realized I had no option that to cooperate. The second piece of bad news was that on the following Tuesday, after the Easter weekend, I would be starting to attend my new school. On the day before Good Friday, nurse Maureen informed me that when my mother and sister were coming to visit, I would, for the first time in nearly a month, be allowed out into the grounds of the Ferndale Centre. They had a similar security system to the assessment centre and I would have to wear the bracelet locked onto my wrist. Whist talking with Maureen, she asked me, considering the situation I was in, a very strange question. "Alice, before admission to the Ferndale Centre, had you ever worn girl's clothing?" "No "was my honest response. "Why did you ask me that?" " I am a trained nurse and have been for 27 years" she began. "During that time, I've seen just about everything. For 10 years I worked as a senior nurse in a adult mental health unit. Have you ever heard of a condition called Munchausen syndrome?" "No" I responded. "Well Munchausen syndrome is a condition in which an individual repeatedly fakes illness to get sympathy or medical attention from others, usually a doctor or other medical staff. Sometimes they will deliberately self-harm: for example, they deliberately take an overdose not to kill themselves, but so they will then turn up at an Accident and Emergency Centre in order to receive medical treatment from the staff. These people are very clever and very convincing, and the condition is very hard to spot. My job and expertise was to spot these people and so I picked up on every single thing they did or said. "But I don't have Munchausen syndrome, do I?" I said. "Of course you don't, Alice. If you remember the very first time we met, it was when you had just woken up from being sedated following your castration. "To be honest, I can't really remember" I said. "Well Alice, I came into your room with Beverly. On looking at your file, which contains over 20 different photographs of you wearing your sister's clothing, you can clearly see that in most of them, you are wearing a bra." "But they're all fake" I protested. What nurse Maureen said next both shocked and surprised me. "Alice, I believe you." "What, how, why?" was my confused response. "The main purpose of that first meeting was to get you out of bed and dressed in your new lingerie and into your dress. When Beverly handed you your bra, you didn't have a clue how to put it on. That didn't make sense. The pictures in your file indicate that you have worn a bra on multiple occasions, yet you didn't have a clue how to put on the bra that she gave you. From that moment I suspected that something sinister was going on." On hearing this, I collapsed to the floor in floods of tears, tears of joy. The revelation from nurse Maureen that she thought that there may be something sinister behind my sister's many lies, the forged photographs and her resulting belief that I may have therefore been mistakenly diagnosed with SGID really lifted my spirits. Maureen also told me that as there was no evidence yet against my sister or anything to show that the photographs had been altered it would need to be proved and this would take some time. But of course time was something that was against me: daily the female hormones were slowly but surely feminising my body. Indeed, over the last several days, my nipples had become itchy, sore and tender. Maureen explained that this was the beginning of my breast development. She planned to secretly take several of the original photographs and have them examined by an expert. Meanwhile, she advised me to tell nobody about her plan and to carry on as normal, both when my mother and sister arrived the following day and at school which I was to start on the following Tuesday. The next day, Good Friday, I was very nervous as I ate breakfast in the dining room alongside my fellow patients. Taking Beverly's advice, I dressed in a black knee-length dress, tights and flat Mary Jane shoes. Of course with my hair still being too short, Beverly fixed the brown shoulder length wig to my head after she had put light makeup on my face. At 10.am, Beverly announced that my mother and Hailey had arrived and I held out my left arm to allow her to place the electronic bracelet around my wrist. She said I didn't need a coat as it was a warm spring day and so I was now ready to meet the two people I hated the most, my mother and sister. On seeing them for the first time since that dreaded interview when I was being held at the Assessment Centre, mother ran towards me and gave me a huge hug; at the same time I noticed the smug look on Hailey's face. " Wow, you look amazing Alice" mother said. " I can hardly recognise you" At this point I wanted to punch both my mother and sister in the face, but somehow I kept my cool. For the first hour or so, we walked around part of the huge Ferndale Centre and mother said that she was so happy that she was going to have a new daughter and was counting the days until I was released and returned home. Little did she know that I would rather walk on hot coals than return home following my release. Hailey asked how well I was adjusting to my new life and even had the nerve to ask if I was on hormones yet and had I been castrated. When I told her that yes I was on hormones and yes I had been castrated, I've never seen such a large smile on somebody's face as I was seeing now. "It's for the best Alice", mother said, and I responded by saying that she was right, and I even thanked Hailey for outing me as a transsexual. I even joked that when I returned home in 2 years time, we could have such fun borrowing each other's clothes. At lunchtime we went into one of the restaurants located in the grounds of the Ferndale Centre before I had to return to the ward because I had to attend a medical examination there. After arranging to meet the following day at 10am, we all walked back to the ward where, after pressing the door bell, mother and Hailey both kissed and hugged me before the door opened and Beverly escorted me back to the ward. My medical examination was carried out by a doctor I hadn't met before, Dr Gillian Harris. Dr Harris asked me to take off every single item of clothing as she needed to examine my body. First she examined my empty scrotum and commented " Your castration surgery has healed well and there's no sign of infection". Then she took a tape measure and took measurements of my hips. "Your hips are developing nicely", a comment I didn't want to hear. Next she started to feel my bottom. " Your bottom is beginning to show signs of fatty tissue and I expect in about a year, you will have a stunning hourglass figure" Then she placed her hands on my chest and began to feel my nipples and the area surrounding them. This caused me considerable discomfort which didn't go unnoticed by the doctor. "Excellent" she said, as she removed her hands from my chest and asked me to pee in a container that she picked up from the trolley located in the room. It was embarrassing giving my urine sample in front of the doctor. Finally, she took a blood sample from my arm, and told me to get dressed. "Your breasts are starting to develop and the tenderness you feel at the moment will pass in a few months. Your areolas are developing nicely, and you already have small swellings around your nipples. These swellings are the beginning of your breast development". After being told that I would have my next medical in 4 weeks time, I was allowed to leave the examination room and return to the ward. That evening most of the patients were in the lounge and I began to form new friendships with some of my fellow detainees. In my first few weeks, I didn't have much contact with the others as I had spent most of my time with Sophie, before she was moved to another ward. I had already decided that when someone would ask about my own situation, I would give the false impression that I had accepted my feminisation and was looking forward to growing breasts and eventually having my final surgery. Penny, who was the newest patient on the ward apart from myself and Sophie, explained the circumstances that led to her being detained on a Section 9 order. Just a few months ago, Penny had been Andrew. Penny was 17 years old and been a crossdresser from about the age of 10. She couldn't make up her mind whether or not she was transsexual because she enjoyed being a boy and playing sports with her friends, but she also enjoyed her girl time and dressing up in her sister's clothing, before her parents started purchasing her own lingerie, skirts and dresses. At school and elsewhere she was bullied and had been beaten up many times. Penny's family had therefore decided that they needed expert help, and after a visit to the family doctor, it was decided that she be sent to a Section 8 Assessment Centre. The Centre decided that as Penny couldn't decide if she wanted to transition, it would in her best interests to be placed on a Section 9 treatment order. Penny explained to me that she had mixed emotions about being forced to change her sex, because although the idea of having breasts excited her, she didn't want to lose her penis. Sabrina's story as to how she ended up at the Section 9 treatment centre was, if true, similar to my own. Just over a year ago, she had been found asleep on a park bench near her home, dressed like a prostitute. She was found wearing a black leather mini dress, fishnet stockings and knee-high boots. Sabrina, who was called Brian at the time and just 16 years old, was rushed to hospital, where he spent several days. Because of his age, Social Services were contacted, and he was closely monitored. Throughout this time, Brian insisted that he had been drugged by Joanne, his 19-year-old step-sister, been dressed up in the clothes that he was discovered wearing in the park and somehow taken to the park by Joanne and her friends. At the time, The Gender Diversity Act had not yet become law, so Brian was placed in the care of Social Services and held at the Ferndale Centre where he lived as a boy for 6 months until the Act became law and he was assessed as having SGID and placed on a Section 9 treatment order and his name changed to Sabrina. Julia's story was the most shocking of all. She born a hermaphrodite and raised as a girl on the advice of the medical experts. Against medical advice, her parents refused permission on religious grounds for castration and removal of her penis. At the age of 10, she began living as a boy with the full support of her parents, which worked well for a couple of years until puberty set in. Poor Julia's body began to feminise, whilst at the same time puberty did not affect her male equipment. Aged just 15, and having developed C-cup breasts, she had little choice than to return to living as a girl. Understandably, this seriously affected her mental health and aged 16 she had a nervous breakdown and spent over a year in a juvenile mental health unit. Because her parents refused to consent to any surgical procedures, Social Services made an application to have her made a Ward of Court, then had her placed in foster care until being sent to the Ferndale Centre when she turned 18. When the Gender Diversity Act became law just over 7 months ago, the decision to remove her male organs was made and in 8 weeks time, she was due to become the first person to undergo the final surgery under the Act. Chapter 12 Today was the day that I had been dreading the most in the month or so of my detention at the centre. Although I had been wearing skirts and dresses for the entire month, there was just something about having to attend school in my new girls' school uniform that I guess took my enforced feminisation to the next level. I was nervous as hell as I put on my white lingerie, school blouse and red school tie, quickly followed by