The forced feminisation of Simon Part 1
By Dawlish Matt
Chapter 1
My nightmare first began in February 2013. It was around 11 on a
Tuesday morning and I was in the classroom alongside 20 or so of my
classmates in the middle of a history lesson, when there was a sudden
knock on the classroom door and a young boy entered and handed a piece
of paper to Mr Briggs, the history teacher.
After reading the note, Mr Briggs called out my name in front of the
whole class, saying
" Simon Wilson, you are not in any trouble, but you are to report to
the headmaster's study straight away ". Nervously, I gathered up all my
belongings before I made my way to the headmaster's study.
After knocking on the headmaster's door and being told to enter, I was
surprised to see alongside the headmaster were stood 2 female police
officers. For the second time I was assured that I was not in any kind
of trouble, but I was to go with the two policewomen. They took me
outside the building to where their unmarked car was parked. Once we
reached the car, I was told to take a seat in the back of the car. By
this time I was very scared and began sobbing in the car. The
policewoman who sat beside me told me that her name was Kerry, whilst
her partner's name was Lucy.
As the car began its journey to an unknown destination, Kerry began to
explain what the hell was going on. " We have picked you up because you
are being detained under section 8 of the 2012 Diversity Act and it is
our job to take you to the Assessment Centre." By this time I was
sobbing uncontrollably and was comforted by Kerry putting her arm
around me. " But I'm not a sissy" I pleaded, "and I definitely don't
want to be forced to become a girl",
" If what you say is true, then I'm sure that they will soon discover
that you are not suffering from any Gender Identity disorders and you
will soon be discharged", said Lucy.
The journey to the Assessment Centre took about 2 hours and I was
escorted to the centre by the two policewomen. Once inside, we were
taken to a large room and informed that the doctor would see us
shortly. We only waited a few minutes before 2 women entered the room.
I guess the older of the women was about 50 years old, whilst the
younger lady probably around 30. Shortly after the doctor arrived, the
policewomen both wished me luck before they left.
The older lady introduced herself as Dr Whitelegg, Consultant in Gender
Identity Disorders and the younger woman introduced herself as head
nurse Lisa Hogg. Dr Whitelegg started the conversation by explaining
why I was being detained at this centre.
"We had a referral from your family doctor who was concerned along
with both your mother and sister that you may be suffering from a
condition called Suppressed Gender Identity Disorder. It is our job at
this centre to properly assess you".
" But I don't have any gender disorder and I'm happy as a boy. I don't
want to be forced to become a girl ".
" You may well be right and if so, you will be discharged in a few
days," the doctor said.
"You must be very anxious, angry and upset right now, Simon," nurse
Lisa said. "I will take you to your room where you can relax for a few
hours before teatime at 7pm. At tea you will get the chance to meet the
other 11 clients we have staying here for assessments. "
Lisa then handed me 2 leaflets which explained Section 8 and Section 9
of the gender Diversity Act 2012. I was horrified as I began reading
first the section 8 leaflet.
THE GENDER DIVERSITY ACT 2012
SECTION 8
The ASSESSMENT.
1. You have been detained at a Gender Identity Centre as your doctor or
a parent/guardian believes that you are suffering from Suppressed
Gender Identity Disorder (SGID)
2. Under Section 8, you can be detained for up to 28 days for a full
assessment to take place.
3. During the 28 day assessment period, you will not be allowed to
leave the centre, unless the consultant in charge of your assessment
believes that you are not suffering from SGID, in which case you
will be discharged from the centre.
4. If after the section 8 period of 28 days has expired and your
consultant has diagnosed you as suffering from SGID, you will be
placed on Section 9 of The Gender Diversity Act 2012 and taken to a
treatment centre.
5. There is no right of appeal under section 8 of this act.
If reading the leaflet that explained section 8 of the Gender Diversity
Act, 2012 wasn't scary enough, the section 9 leaflet was yet worse.
THE GENDER DIVERSITY ACT 2012
SECTION 9:
TREATMENT
1. You have been detained at a Gender Identity Treatment Centre because
your consultant has assessed you under Section 8 of the Gender
Diversity Act 2012 and diagnosed you as suffering from Suppressed
Gender Identity Disorder.
2. Under section 9 of this Act, you can be detained against your will
for a period of up to 2 years. This is because your complete
transition from male to female, or from female to male, will take up
to 2 years to complete .
3. After the detention period of 2 years has expired, you will be
discharged from the clinic.
4. There is no right of appeal of Section 9 of the Gender Diversity Act
2012.
I spent several hours in my room trying to understand why my mother and
sister would think that I wanted to be a sissy girl. I certainty had
never cross-dressed or had any desire to have a sex change. I was very
happy at being an average 14-year-old boy.
At around 6.45pm, nurse Lisa came to my room to inform me that it was
teatime and to take me to the dining room where I would meet the other
11 clients being held for assessment at the centre.
On arrival at the dining room, Lisa introduced me to the other clients.
What surprised me was that out of the 11 people, 2 were girls. I also
discovered that all 12 of us were children, Eric at 17 was the oldest,
while I at 14 was the youngest. After we had finished our food, 8 of
us went to the lounge while the others went to their rooms. I was
astonished to discover that the lounge was huge and contained a snooker
table, a very large television, hundreds of DVDS and a wide selection
of books on various subjects. It soon became clear that despite being
detained against our will, the 28 day stay at the centre would be made
as comfortable as possible.
Being the new patient, everyone wanted to know how I ended up at the
centre and I told them that I had been picked up at school during a
history lesson earlier that day. All the others had similar stories.
Eric had been picked up from home 10 days ago; Martin, Stephen, Robert
and Peter were, like me, picked up from school. Matthew and the 2 girls
were picked up on returning home from school: the police were waiting
for them inside their homes. All of us agreed that there must be a
mistake as none of us wanted to be turned into girls and the two girls,
Penny and Sophie had no desire to become boys.
At 10pm, we were all told by nurse Lisa that it was time for bed and to
go to our rooms. I however first had to follow Lisa to her office for a
blood test. Inside her office, Lisa requested that I remove my trousers
and underwear. Once naked from the waist down, I was instructed to lie
on the couch. After taking my blood sample, Lisa explained that as
there were both boys and girls at the centre, all the boys had to be
fitted with a chastity device. She then proceeded to place a metal ring
around the base of my penis, before placing my penis inside a small
metal tube. Both the tube and ring were then joined together before
being locked by a padlock. Once she had finished, I got dressed and
returned to my room for the night.
Chapter 2
I was surprised how well I slept on my first night at the assessment
centre. Looking back now, I guess that the glass of orange juice that I
drank about half an hour before going to bed must have been laced with
a strong sedative. I was awoken the following morning, my first full
day at the assessment centre, by a pretty young woman whose name badge
told me that she was Emily Brooks, nursing assistant at the centre.
" Wakey wakey, sleepy head ", she said. " It's 7.30 and breakfast
time is in half an hour at 8 o'clock ".
On getting out of bed, a feel of discomfort from my groin soon reminded
me of the chastity device that had been fitted to my penis the previous
night. Nurse Lisa had said that all the boys at the centre had to wear
a chastity device because there were girls as well as boys being
detained at the assessment centre. I guess that made some sort of
sense.
After taking a shower, I returned to my room and began to look for some
clothes to wear for the day. I was somewhat surprised that the wardrobe
and drawers in my room contained my own clothes from home. I guess that
my mother or the policewomen who first brought me to the centre must
have brought my clothing. I decided to wear my favourite top, a
Liverpool football club shirt and a pair of jeans. Once dressed, I made
my way to the dining room for breakfast.
When I entered the dining room, several of the other clients were
already there, eating breakfast. I helped myself to a couple of slices
of toast and a bowl of cornflakes. As I was eating, Emily approached
the table I was sitting at alongside Stephen, Robert and Sophie ,and
informed me that I had my first formal assessment consultation with
Doctor Whitelegg at 11am. Nervously, I asked the other 3 at the table
what would happen at my first assessment. Robert said that they ask you
all sorts of questions, such as how well you are getting on at school,
do you have many friends and what are your hobbies. It's nothing to
worry about, Sophie added.
Chapter 3
I was in the lounge just before 11am watching YouTube music videos
alongside most of the others when nurse Lisa came to collect me, for my
first assessment. On the way to the assessment room, Lisa could clearly
see that I was very anxious and tried to reassure me that I had nothing
to worry about. As we entered the room, Dr Whitelegg asked us to sit
down, and proceeded to introduce the other three women sitting with her
behind a large table. Firstly she introduced Samantha Walker who was a
social worker. The second woman she introduced as Debbie Valentine, a
junior doctor and Dr Whitelegg's assistant. Lastly she introduced the
third lady as Susan Saunders, who, like Lisa, was a senior nurse at the
centre.
Dr Whitelegg began the assessment by saying that I was going to be
asked several questions by both herself and Samantha Walker, the social
worker.
" So Simon, tell me a little bit about yourself,".
"What do you want to know?", I replied.
"How well are you doing at school, what are your favourite subjects at
school, do you have many friends at school, what are your hobbies, that
sort of thing," Samantha asked.
" Well I guess I do well at school, and have many friends both at
school and at home. My favourite subject is mathematics, and I love
watching and playing sports and watching my favourite team, Liverpool,
play" I responded.
The next question that I was asked, this time from Dr Whitelegg
completely caught me by surprise.
" So when did you first start wearing your sister's clothes?", she
asked.
Close to tears, I responded " I have never worn any of my sister's
stuff or any other girl's clothing. I am not a sissy".
" Interesting" was the doctor's reply.
Dr Whitelegg then opened a folder which was on her table and produced
several photographs. The first one she handed to me was a photo of me
wearing exactly the same clothes I was wearing today.
" Look closely, Simon, and tell me if you can see anything out of place
in the photograph"
"No " I responded.
The second photo she handed me was much larger, but was an exact copy
of the first one.
" This photo is the same photo as before, but it has been enlarged to
10 times its original size. Take a close look at your chest, Simon, can
you see you have two little breasts? Also, if you look at your back,
you can clearly see the outline of the bra that you are wearing".
To say I was shocked by this evidence was a massive understatement. I
had never worn any item of girls' clothing and definitely not a bra.
But I can't deny that somehow the photos said otherwise.
The next 2 photographs that I was shown were even more shocking. They
both showed me in my bedroom at home, sitting on my bed and doing my
school homework. In both of them, you could clearly see the school
uniform that I am wearing. The only problem was that I'm not wearing
my own uniform, but clearly wearing my sister's school uniform. They
showed me wearing her school blouse, and the bra underneath can clearly
be seen through the thin material of the blouse. Lower down in the
photos, they clearly showed that I'm wearing her knee length black
school skirt. Both photos also showed my legs encased in a pair of
black tights.
After seeing the photos of me wearing my sister's school uniform, I
became hysterical.
" This can't be true ", I protested. " I don't know what the hell is
going on, but I have never worn my sister's school uniform "
Thankfully, seeing my distress, Dr Whitelegg concluded the meeting and
nurse Lisa was asked to take me back to my room. Shortly after
returning to my room with Lisa, another nurse entered the room and gave
me an injection in my left arm to calm me down.
Chapter 4
Following the disastrous first formal assessment with Dr Whitelegg and
the other 3 women, the injection that I received shortly after
returning to my room with nurse Lisa certainty did its job, for the
next thing that I can remember is being woken up by Emily, the nursing
assistant.
" What time is it?" I asked her.
" It's 7.30, and you need to shower and get dressed for breakfast" she
responded.
"Breakfast?" I said, very surprised.
" Yes, sleepyhead, that injection the nurse gave you yesterday knocked
you out for 19 hours".
After showering and getting dressed, I made my way to the dining room
for breakfast. After getting my toast and cornflakes, I sat at the same
table as the day before, with Stephen, Robert and Sophie. As I ate my
food, I was rather quiet and subdued, probably due to the effects of
the injection and the trauma of my formal assessment of the previous
day. This didn't go unnoticed by my 3 new friends and it was Sophie who
spoke first, asking if I was OK.
I was very reluctant to talk about my assessment, especially the
damming evidence of the photographs, so I just responded by saying that
I was both anxious and scared in case I was diagnosed with Suppressed
Gender Identity Disorder and placed on section 9 of the Gender
Diversity Act, which would mean that I would be forced to have a sex-
change operation.
Peter tried to reassure me by stating that he had been detained at the
centre for 3 weeks and in that time a total of 8 boys have been
released from their Section 8 order and discharged and sent home. Not
one single boy or girl had been given the diagnosis of SGID and sent
away for a sex change. After breakfast, the 4 of us who had become
friends in just a couple of days, made our way to the lounge to
continue our conversation.
The conversation changed to one about what happens day to day on the
unit.
"What do you guys do on a daily basis?" I asked my new friends.
" It can be quite boring at times" said Sophie, "though there is quite
a lot that we can do. They have literally hundreds of the latest DVDs
that you can watch, and there's obviously the snooker table and cable
TV. "
"Outside the unit they have a tennis court, a football pitch and even a
heated swimming pool located in the grounds", Peter added.
" Oh," I responded, " I didn't know that we were allowed outside".
"Yeah, usually they let you outside accompanied by a member of staff
after a few days, and after a couple of weeks we're allowed outside
alone", Stephen added.
" I know it's probably a stupid question, but why don't you just run
away?", I asked.
"Security is very tight here and very hi-tech. Haven't you noticed that
none of the doors here have a lock and key?" said Sophie.
She then went on to explain how the tight security works.
" Every single door has a little pad for fingerprint recognition. The
computer stores all the staff members' fingerprints and when they place
their fingers on the pad the door automatically opens. Before we are
allowed outside and into the grounds of the centre, we have to wear an
electronic bracelet that only the staff can remove. Around the edge of
the grounds there are electronic sensors and if you get too close the
bracelets start to vibrate. If you move closer to the sensors you
start to receive an electric shock. The closer you get, the more
powerful the shock".
" I guess we are just like prisoners then, locked inside the centre's
boundaries?" I moaned, "and the worse thing about it is that it's all
legal!"
"Yes", said my 3 friends in unison.
Chapter 5
I was sat in the lounge in mid-afternoon, watching YouTube music videos
when I was approached by Lisa and Emily.
" The Doctor has given us permission to take you outside for some fresh
air, if you would like a tour of the grounds" Lisa announced.
"Yeah, I'd love to get some fresh air" I responded.
" You'd better go to your room and get your coat, it's freezing cold
outside", replied Emily.
After wrapping up nice and warm, Lisa requested that I hold out my left
arm. I knew from my conversation with my 3 friends from earlier what to
expect, so I was not surprised when she locked the bracelet around my
wrist. I must say that I really enjoyed my walk around the grounds, as
it gave both myself and Lisa a chance to discuss informally the purpose
of my detention.
Lisa began by explaining in detail all about my Section 8 detention.
"In the 2 years before the Gender Diversity Act 2012 became law, there
were over 3,000 suicides of people who were having gender identity
issues. In response to this, the 10 different Sections of the Gender
Diversity Act were drawn up by several world-renowned gender
specialists from around the globe and thankfully became law by an Act
of Parliament in 2012. Our expertise is in Section 8 of this Act. Our
unit deals with both boys and girls whom close family members believe
may be suffering from a condition called SGID, or Suppressed Gender
Identity Disorder. In your particular case, your mother and sister
were very concerned about you. After showing the photos of you, the
same ones that Dr Whitelegg showed you yesterday wearing your sister's
school uniform, she made a Section 8 referral to us. After we saw the
photos, we decided to place you on a Section 8 for assessment here at
the Centre".
"But I'm so confused, Lisa. I've honestly never worn my sister's
school uniform, her underwear, or any item of any girls' clothing in my
life. I love being a boy".
" I understand completely what you are saying, Simon, but the photos
suggest overwise".
" That's just what I don't understand. How can you have photographs of
me on my bed at home dressed in my sister's school uniform?"
"I don't know, Simon, but we can only base our assessments on evidence.
And the evidence is pretty conclusive"
On returning to the centre, I knew that as it was now the third day of
my 28-day assessment, I had 25 days to discover where these photos of
me in my sister's school uniform came from. I knew that they were
forgeries and had get released before I could be diagnosed with SGID
and put on a Section 9 and forced to become a girl. I therefore decided
that tomorrow after breakfast I would tell my 3 friends my story and
try to figure what the hell was going on
Chapter 6
At breakfast the following day, I told Peter, Stephen and Sophie all
about my first assessment and about the photographs of me wearing my
sister's school uniform. Sophie tried to ease the situation by joking,
saying that she had some skirts and dresses in her room that I could
borrow - at least I hope she was joking.
"Seriously guys, it's not looking good for me", I said. " Yesterday I
had a walk around the grounds with Lisa and Emily and we discussed my
first assessment. I tried to explain to them that somehow they had got
hold of forged photographs and I was insisting that I have never worn
any girls' stuff, but I know she didn't believe me."
For the next few days I settled into a routine: each day after
breakfast, my friends and I went to the lounge to talk, we would watch
2 or 3 DVDs a day and I would go for a walk with Lisa or another member
of staff. This situation changed on day 8 when I had my second formal
assessment.
I was both anxious and nervous as Lisa came to take me to my second
assessment. She tried to reassure me, but remembering my disastrous
first assessment, unfortunately her attempts were in vain. As we
entered the assessment room, in addition to the same 3 women who were
present at my previous meeting, I was shocked to see my mother and
sister too!
After the several minutes it took me to regain my composure and recover
from the shock of seeing my mother and sister present in the room, Dr
Whitelegg began the meeting.
"We have invited your mother and your sister Hailey to get their side
of the story, as they are the ones who first believed that you may be
suffering from SGID and informed your doctor."
Turning to Hailey, Dr Whitelegg asked her why she had suspected me of
having SGID.
"Well doctor, I first noticed about 2 years ago that some of my
clothing would disappear from my underwear drawers and would reappear a
day or so later."
"Can you give us some examples, Hailey?" the Doctor asked.
"I can remember about a year ago I had just purchased an expensive set
of lingerie as I had a hot date with my boyfriend Alex. I also
purchased an expensive figure hugging white minidress which cost me
over ? 200. The day before my date I went to my lingerie drawer as I
wanted to put on my new basque, matching panties and the black
stockings to show my mother and ask her if she thought I looked sexy
enough for my boyfriend. When I opened the lingerie drawer, all these
items were missing."
"So what did you do, Hailey?"
"Well doctor, I guessed that my brother had taken my lingerie, as this
was not the first time, but although I was furious, he was not home so
I couldn't confront him. When I looked in my closet, I also discovered
that my expensive white minidress was also missing"
At this point, I was furious. I stood up and shouted at my sister "
You're a liar Hailey, you know what you just said is a pack of lies.
Why are you doing this to me, Hailey?"
Dr Whitelegg intervened and asked me to sit down.
"Simon, you need to calm down", she said. "Your sister maybe telling us
the truth, or she may be telling us lies. Please remember that you are
here for 28 days for assessment for SGID. The 28 days gives us plenty
of time to discover who is telling the truth and who is not. Think of
the situation as a courtroom. You are on trial for murder and have
pleaded not guilty. It is the prosecution's job to prove that you're
guilty and your defence team's job to prove your innocence. We are like
the jury. We make our decisions only on the evidence provided."
Dr Whitelegg again turned to Hailey and asked her " Can you give us
some other examples of your suspicions that your brother was secretly
wearing your clothes?"
"It was about a year before the example that I gave you earlier that I
became suspicious about Simon wearing my stuff. Sometimes after I would
buy a new skirt, dress or top, when I came to wear them, they seemed
stretched, like they were secondhand or something. Being new and very
expensive, I knew that it had to be Simon. That's when I knew I had to
tell mum, but first I wanted to have some clear evidence. This is when
I had the idea to secretly take photographs of my brother wearing my
clothes."
" So, tell us, Hailey, how you executed your plan and took the photos
of Simon in his bedroom wearing your old school uniform", asked
Samantha Walker the social worker.
" It was quite easy really. Mum had gone away on the Friday night for a
short weekend break with Sean, her new boyfriend, leaving just Simon
and me at home for 3 days. On the second day, I told Simon that I was
going to my best friend's home and that in the evening we were going to
a party. I told Simon that I would be spending the night at Sarah's
house and would be home the next day. Although there was not a party, I
did plan to sleep overnight at Sarah's house. At around 6pm, I secretly
sneaked back home and when I crept upstairs to Simon's bedroom, I saw
his door was wide open and I could clearly see him on his bed, wearing
my old school uniform. That's when I took several photographs."
"So what did you do next, Hailey?"
"I went back to Sarah's house and waited until mum returned home to
show her the photos. After several days, not knowing what to do, mum
decided to tell our doctor."
"Thank you, Hailey, you've been very helpful", Samantha Walker
concluded.
I don't know how on earth I managed not to explode, having just
listened to the complete pack of lies that my sister had told. The only
thing I did know for sure was that I was now in deep deep trouble.
Chapter 7
Nurse Lisa walked me back to my room following my assessment.
Obviously, I was still angry and upset at what Hailey had said at the
meeting. Every single word that came from her mouth was a lie. Lisa
asked me if I wanted anything to calm me down but I declined, knowing
that the two previous times I received medication I was knocked out,
the second time for 19 hours,
For the next hour or so, I sat on my bed, trying to work out why Hailey
would tell all those lies about me cross-dressing, but I could not come
up with any explanation. I loved my family and I was pretty close to
both mother and my sister. Yes, we had arguments, but so does every
family. I was trying to think back as to what had caused Hailey to
tell such serious lies, the result of which could completely change my
life. But the Section 8 detention on which I was being held didn't
allow me any direct contact to any of my friends or family.
After lunch, I approached Lisa and asked her if I could go for a walk
outside to get some fresh air. Lisa said that would be fine, but she
couldn't take me as she had another assessment to attend that
afternoon.
"I will get Emily to take you," she suggested.
After wrapping up warm, it being the end of February with the heavy
snow that had fallen a few days earlier still on the ground, I wore my
warm coat, hat and scarf. After Emily had placed the bracelet on my
left wrist, we left the building and began our walk.
Emily was a very attractive young woman; she told me she was 22 years
old and I guess I did have a crush on her. This was confirmed, as
during our 2-hour stroll, the discomfort I felt coming from between my
legs, the result of my penis trying to become erect but unable to do so
due to my chastity device, proved this. After about 20 minutes, we
found a seat and sat down and had an interesting conversation. Emily's
story of how she ended up working as a nursing assistant in a Section 8
assessment centre was a sad one.
" I was born alongside my twin brother 22 years ago in the south west
of England", she began. "For most of my childhood I was a very happy
young girl. My father was a managing director of a large engineering
company and my mother was a solicitor working for a firm in Exeter.
When me and Daniel, my twin brother, were around 14 years old, I
discovered that he was secretly wearing my clothes."
" How did you find out?" I asked her.
"Well, it was in the school summer holidays and with both mum and dad
at work, it was just Daniel and me at home. On this particular day I
had arranged to go into town with a few of my friends. After about an
hour or so, I began feeling unwell, so I decided to return home. When I
entered the lounge, my brother was sat watching the television. I was
shocked to see him wearing my favourite flower print cotton dress"
"Oh my god", I said, " what did you do?"
"Well, on seeing me, Daniel got up from the chair and ran past me and
upstairs to his bedroom. At this stage, I didn't know what to do.
Should I phone mum, should I go upstairs and confront him? I just
didn't know what to do".
I could clearly see a few tears rolling down Emily's pretty face as she
continued her story.
" After about 15 minutes, I heard the front door close, I was sat in
the lounge and I knew it was Daniel. He was probably very embarrassed
that I had caught him wearing my clothes. A few hours later, mum and
dad returned home from work. Meanwhile, I had decided not to tell my
parents about Daniel just yet, as I wanted to confront him first. At
around 7pm and there being no sign of Daniel, mother asked me where he
was. I don't know, I said, he's probably in the park playing football
with his friends. At around 10pm and still no sign of Daniel, we all
began to get worried. I therefore had no choice but to tell them what
had happened earlier and that I had caught him wearing my clothes.
After hearing my story, mum called the police and reported Daniel
missing. Because of the circumstances, the police treated the incident
as a priority and a search party was launched. Shortly after midnight,
Daniel's body was found, hanging from a branch of a tree in nearby
woods. Poor Daniel had committed suicide".
By this time, the tears were flowing down poor Emily's face and so I
put my arm around her to comfort her. Emily completed her tragic story
by saying that she wanted to dedicate her life to help young people who
are struggling with their gender identity, in her brother's memory.
On returning to the building, I was met by Sophie and Peter who had
some very good news.
"I've been discharged from my section and am going home," Peter said
excitedly.
" Wow, that's fantastic news, Peter. I'm so happy for you. What
happened?" I asked.
"I went to my fifth formal assessment, and Dr Whitelegg said that I
showed no signs of SGID, and to pack my stuff as my parents were on
their way to the unit to take me home."
I felt happy for Peter, and his being discharged after being detained
for over 3 weeks gave me a glimmer of hope. Peter's room didn't stay
vacant for long though, as within a few hours, a new patient, a young
girl called Vanessa, was admitted to the unit. Vanessa was probably the
most stunningly beautiful girl that I have ever seen. What the hell is
she doing here, detained on Section 8 of the Gender Diversity Act?
This I was determined to find out.
Chapter 8
It was at breakfast the next day, day 11 of my detention, that I had my
first opportunity to speak to Vanessa. She was a 17-year-old girl who
had been detained for assessment at the centre because she regularly
self-harmed. The mental health professionals didn't know why she
regularly cut herself and wanted to explore the possibility that she
may be suffering from SGID. To me, this seemed ridiculous. Looking at
her across the breakfast table, it was hard to take my eyes of this
beautiful woman who was wearing a figure hugging mini-dress, which did
nothing to hide her huge beautiful breasts. Several times during
breakfast, I kept moving around on my seat, due to the damn chastity
belt preventing my penis from becoming erect.
The next few days passed without any problems and on day 16 of my
detention, I was informed that I was to undergo my 3rd formal
assessment. Coincidentally, Sophie, who was on day 25 of her 28 day
detention, also had a formal assessment, her fifth in total. While I
again was nervous, Sophie meanwhile was very excited. She said that she
was expecting to be discharged from her section and allowed to go home.
I was first to be called to the assessment centre by nurse Lisa and on
entering the room, I was relieved to see that neither my mother or
sister were in attendance. Alongside Dr Whitelegg were Dr Debbie
Valentine, and Samantha Walker, the social worker. As on the previous
occasions, it was Dr Whitelegg who began the meeting. There are
literally dozens of gender identity disorders, she began, Suppressed
Gender Identity Disorder, SGID, being just one of them. Even SGID has
many forms. It may be that an individual is very aware that they are
transsexual, but for many different reasons they choose to keep their
gender issues secret. Perhaps a father may feel that his children would
disown him, it may be because a child feels that their parents would
disown them if they came out as being trans. There's also the fear of
losing friends or their job; the list is endless. A much rarer form is
when the individual concerned doesn't realise themselves that they are
suffering from SGID, but it is noticeable to their close family members
and friends.
"We here at the Assessment Centre believe that you are suffering from
SGID " she continued. "Although the clinic has only been open for 6
months, we have had over 50 patients sent here for assessment, of which
only 2 have been diagnosed with the condition. But in your case we are
100% sure that you would grow up to be a very unhappy man and probably
commit suicide by the age of 25 if we release without further
intervention. You will now be placed on Section 9 of the Gender
Identity Act and this evening you will be taken to a treatment centre
to begin your transition. We all wish you well for the future, Simon."
Before I even had a chance to respond, I felt a sharp prick on the back
of my neck and had just about enough time to turn around and see Lisa
put the empty syringe back into her pocket before I collapsed.
Part 2
Chapter 8
I awoke somewhat confused, and it took me several minutes before I
realized that I was not in my old bedroom at the Assessment Unit. I
also realized that my chastity device was causing a dull pain between
my legs. Getting out of bed, I found I was now wearing what was clearly
a girl's nightdress instead of wearing my boy's pyjamas. The bedroom I
was in was obviously a girl's room and I was totally confused. My last
memories were of my 3rd assessment at the assessment centre and of
being given the shocking news that they had diagnosed me as suffering
from SGID and I was to be transferred from Section 8 to Section 9 of
the Gender Diversity Act. It was now clear that I was now being held at
the treatment centre and that my forced feminisation was about to
begin.
I approached the large mirror situated in my room and lifted my
nightdress to try and adjust my damn chastity device that was causing
me discomfort. After removing the nightdress, I stood naked in front of
the mirror and was horrified to see that I was no longer wearing that
awful device, but the pain was caused because I had been castrated. I
still had my penis, but hanging either side of it was my now empty
scrotum. I went back to my bed and sat down on the bed feeling angry,
upset and devastated; the floods of tears were rolling down my face as
I now knew that my forced feminisation had begun and that I would never
grow up to be a man. Instead I would be forced to live the life of a
woman.
A few minutes after the shock of realising that I had been castrated,
there was a knock at my room door before 2 women entered my room.
" Good morning Alice," the older of the two women said. " I see you're
quite distressed. I completely understand that finding that you have
been castrated must be a huge shock, and we are here to help you".
The name badges that these women wore told me that the older women was
senior nurse Maureen Clarke and the younger woman was nursing assistant
Beverly Thomas. Beverly was holding a large file and Maureen asked her
to give it to me.
"This file contains everything you need to know about the Ferndale
Treatment Centre and what to expect during your 2-year stay with us. I
know you must have hundreds of questions right now, but I suggest you
read the folder first and if you are unclear about anything, we will be
happy to help. Now we need to get you dressed, Alice."
The 2 closets located in my new bedroom contained nothing but skirts
and dresses; there were even 2 identical schoolgirl uniforms, and the
underwear drawers were full of lingerie. Although reluctant, I decided
to cooperate with the women at this stage because I guessed that if I
refused to wear the girls' clothing they would somehow force me to do
so. First of all, I picked a plain white bra and pantie set; having put
on the panties, I picked up the bra, but having no idea how to put it
on, Beverly had to show me how women put on their bras. Although she
said nothing, I could clearly see the look of confusion on Maureen's
face as Beverly explained to me how to put on a bra.
Being clueless about young girl's fashion, I reluctantly accepted
Beverly's suggestions and slipped into a knee length cotton print
dress. Next came the gel inserts that I placed inside the cups and
Maureen commented that I would have to wear them until my own breasts
developed in a few months time. Great, I thought to myself, not only
have I just found out that I've lost my balls, now I'm being told I'm
going to grow tits! After a wig, girls shoes and socks were added. I
was now ready to face the other patients on the ward. On leaving my
room with Maureen and Beverly, I said to them " I guess I'm Alice now
and not Simon?"
Despite my great embarrassment, Beverly tried to reassure me that I
looked fine and so my tour of the place which was to be my home for the
next 2 years began.
The Ferndale Centre was huge and covered an area of 10 acres. "There
are between 600 and 700 patients of all ages at the centre" Maureen
began. " Most of the patients here are voluntary. We cater for
transsexuals who are undergoing their gender change, plus a small
number of people, usually around 15 to 20, who like you are detained on
a Section 9. We have 2 wards for Section 9 patients and you're on Ash
Ward, alongside 8 other patients. The other ward, Oak Ward, currently
has 10 patients. At the moment we have just over 200 children aged
between 14 and 18; you are the youngest. Of these there are about 180
male to female transsexuals and 30 female to male patients. All the
children at the Ferndale Centre have to live a normal a life as
possible during their transition and we even have a school here which
you will attend, which has 8 classrooms".
" I wondered what the two school uniforms were doing in my closet", I
commented.
As at the treatment centre, security was very tight; they even had the
same fingerprint activated door lock system on Ash and Oak wards.
Slowly, we walked from one end of the ward to the other. I was
introduced to the other 8 patients on my ward, 5 of whom were sat in
the lounge watching a DVD.
Julia, at 19, was the oldest patient on the ward. She was what I would
describe as good-looking and had been a patient for around 18 months.
She had large breasts, much bigger than my B-cup inserts, and she wore
a red blouse and a pair of jeans. When she stood up to shake my hand,
it was impossible to detect that just 18 months ago, she had been a
boy." God", I thought to myself. "I hope my boobs don't grow that big".
Next I was introduced to Donna. Donna had been a patient for about a
year and although her body was very feminine, her boobs were not as big
as Julia's. She was wearing a yellow tee-shirt and a knee length jeans
skirt. Next came Holly, Catherine and Penny. Holly had been here for
about 9 months, Catherine 6 months and Penny had been detained for 3
months. Holly was wearing a black jumper and trousers and her body was
less developed than the first 2 patients that I was introduced to,
although her boobs were about the same size as my falsies. It was hard
to tell if they were real. Both Catherine and Penny were wearing
dresses and I guessed that their boobs were false as it was clear to
see that the hormones had yet to feminise their bodies. There were 3
further patients that I was yet to meet.
As we went to the dining room area, we came across 2 more patients who
Beverly introduced as Sabrina and Lucy. Sabrina had been detained for
just over a year and Lucy for 5 months. Like Julia, Sabrina's body
looked well developed and her boobs were much bigger than any of other
patients' except Julia. Lucy meanwhile, was probably wearing gel
inserts.
The last person I was to meet was, like me, a new arrival to the ward.
His name was Martin and he was the only female to male patient being
detained on a Section 9. We eventually located Martin in his bedroom.
After Maureen knocked twice on his door, Maureen, Beverly and I entered
his room. Martin was sat on his bed, sobbing, and Maureen and Beverly
sat down either side of him on his bed, trying to comfort him. When I
finally got a chance to look at Martin's face, I nearly died from the
shock. Martin was actually Sophie, my friend from the assessment
centre.
After recovering from the shock of seeing Sophie and explaining to both
nurse Maureen and Beverly that I was friends with Sophie, now Martin,
both women left us alone to talk. Like me, Martin had already had the
first of many surgeries. He lifted up the black tee-shirt he was
wearing and showed me his chest. Instead of seeing his generous breasts
encased in a bra, his chest was as flat as mine; the two large scars on
his chest confirmed that he had undergone a double mastectomy. I
explained to him that I had also undergone surgery, an orchidectomy.
Looking at the situation we were both in, we agreed that we would help
each other through our enforced sex changes by being there for each
other.
Chapter 9
Like me, Martin had been given a large file, explaining what to expect
during our 2 year stay at the Ferndale Centre and we decided to go
through the file together. The first several pages explained the
Section 9 of the Gender Diversity Act that we were being held on, the
next subject was about the 3 different levels of our detention.
Level 1 patients were like me and Martin, new patients who had just
been detained at the clinic. Basically, all level 1 patients were
closely monitored, with checks made every 15 minutes to minimise the
risk of self-harm or suicide. I guess that this made sense, as waking
up to find that you've had an orchidectomy or a double mastectomy could
drive many patients to kill themselves. Level 2 patients were monitored
less frequently, usually the checks on their welfare are made every 2
or 3 hours and Level 3 patients were checked only a few times a week.
The next section was what I called the scary section. This part
explained the complete 2-year process of the medical treatment we would
undergo during the 2 year detention period.
Part 1 explained that on admission to the ward, all patients were now
considered as being of their new gender. Former males would undergo an
orchidectomy within 24 hours and at the same time, 6 very powerful
slow-release female hormone implants would be placed at various sites
in the body. The reason given for the castration was that the main
source of the male hormone testosterone was the testicles. Removing the
testicles allowed the new female hormones to become more effective.
For people like Martin, the explanation for his double mastectomy was a
simple one: Martin was now a officially boy and boys don't have C-cup
breasts like Sophie did just a few days ago. Like the new girls, the
new boys were given 6 slow release powerful testosterone implants to
slowly reshape their bodies.
Part 2 explained how the hormones would slowly reshape our bodies. For
the new girls like me, the first symptoms of the female hormones would
be nausea. You may feel sick or be sick for the first few weeks, it
said: this is normal, as your body adjusts to the new drugs. After
about 3 - 4 months, you will notice that your nipples will become itchy
and in some cases, painful. This is the first sign of your breast
development. After around 9 - 10 months, your breasts will have grown
to be B-cup in size and will continue to grow. At the same time, your
body will become more feminine. After 16 - 18 months, your breasts
should have reached their maximum size. The hormone implants that you
have given contain a hormone that will make your final breast size at
least a C-cup. Your body will also now be fully feminised, and you will
have a hourglass figure.
"Great", I said to Martin. "In 18 months time I'm going have huge tits"
This made Martin laugh. "It's pretty ironic isn't it" he said. "Just a
few days ago I was a girl with C-cup tits and you were a flat chested
boy. Now my tits have been cut off and in 18 months time you're going
to have C-cup tits hanging from your chest. Why didn't they just cut
off my tits and sew them onto your chest and save time?"
This made me laugh also, and this was noted by both Maureen and Beverly
who had entered Martin's room to check up on us. I was glad that at
least I had a friend and we could support each other as we went through
our enforced gender changes.
Chapter 10
The first two weeks of my detention at the Ferndale Centre passed very
slowly and I became very bored, having little to occupy my mind. Most
of the other patients had activities to attend on weekdays and were
only around during the day at weekends. Julia, the oldest patient at
19, was working at one of the 4 hairdressing salons located on the
Ferndale site and seemed to have accepted her fate. After 12 months
detention, she would always look stunning. Everything about her
screamed female: the way she dressed, either in a short skirt or
figure- hugging dress seemed to confirm my suspicions.
Donna who was 17 years old, Sabrina and Catherine who were 16, and 15
year old Lucy, all attended the school. I watched with mixed emotions
as each weekday morning at breakfast, the 4 former boys sat at the
table in their smart schoolgirl uniforms. I dreaded the thought that
soon I would be joining them, dressed in one of the 2 schoolgirl
uniforms that were in the closet in my bedroom. The other 2 patients,
Penny and my friend Sophie, did not yet attend school. Penny apparently
had been detained for about 3 months and like Donna was 17 years old.
But it seemed Penny had complications following her castration and both
Sophie and I were given a month until we had to attend school, to allow
our surgeries to heal.
Being classed as level 1 patients, both Sophie and I were closely
monitored for the first 2 weeks as we were deemed to be at high risk of
suicide, and checks were done as to our whereabouts on the ward at 15
minute intervals. This I found to be quite annoying. During the first
week, both Sophie and I were assigned a psychologist, Miss Doreen
James, to help us cope with the surgeries that we had already had and
the surgeries that we were going to have during our detention. We were
also assigned a consultant psychiatrist, Dr John O'Leary whose job was
to regularly assess our mental health during our enforced gender
change.
Although my name had been legally changed from Simon to Alice and
Sophie was now legally Martin, we both decided that we would use our
former names and try and put up a fight to the end. Our first sign of
rebellion was that we decided to become transvestites. As part of the
process, all new girls had to wear skirts or dresses and lingerie,
whereas Sophie could only wear boys clothing. Each day I would be
forced to wear lingerie and a dress, but after breakfast we would go
back to Sophie's room and swap clothing. It sounds bizarre that Sophie,
who was born a girl, and I who was born male, were being forced to
change our birth sex and dress as a member of our new gender. By me
wearing Sophie's boy clothes and her wearing my lingerie and dresses,
we were technically transvestites. Unfortunately our rebellion
backfired on us: after several warnings, which we ignored, Sophie was
transferred from Ash Ward to Oak Ward. But her transfer made me more
determined than ever to rebel. Although I knew deep down inside that
the enforced sex change was quite legal under the new Gender Diversity
Act and I had no right of appeal against Dr Whitelegg's diagnosis of
SGID, I would nevertheless fight every stage of my transition from male
to female.
At my first session with Doreen James, the psychologist, I refused to
answer any of her questions and insisted that she call me Simon, not
Alice, which she refused to do. And at my first session with Dr
O'Leary, I refused to cooperate with him too.
It was during the third week that I was forced to attend a meeting with
the ward manager, Mr Stephen Jones. In addition to myself and Mr
Jones, the meeting was attended by nurse Maureen, Beverly the nursing
assistant and Doreen James, the psychologist. Mr Jones sat behind the
desk in his office and I sat facing Mr Jones with Maureen on my left
side and Beverly to my right. Doreen James sat a few feet away from me.
Mr Jones began by asking me a very odd question. " Do you like breasts
Alice?" he said.
"My name is Simon, not Alice and yes I do like breasts" I responded.
He then proceeded to show me four pictures of topless women. The first
picture was of a woman aged about 20.
" I want you to take a close look at her breasts and tell me if you
like them".
Looking at the picture, the woman's breasts were hardly noticeable. She
was flat chested. " They're very small," I responded to the question.
The second picture showed a woman of about the same age but her breasts
were much more noticeable
"Do you like those breasts Alice?" Mr Jones asked.
"I guess they're OK " was my response.
"Well Alice, those breast' are B-cup in size," he said.
The third picture was that of a woman, again around the same age as the
two other women, but the most noticeable difference was that this time
the breasts were much larger.
" Do you like these breasts Alice?" Mr Jones again asked.
" Yes," I said," they're beautiful".
"Those breasts are C-cup in size," he said.
The fourth picture was again of a topless woman, but this time her
breasts were huge.
" Those breasts that you are looking at are a DD-cup size", Mr Jones
said. " You have been on the ward for three weeks now, Alice, and I
think it's time to put you straight about a few things. You are being
held here because you have been diagnosed with Suppressed Gender
Identity Disorder, SGID, and sent here for treatment. You may try and
fight us, most new girls do, but you will not succeed. You will
complete the treatment plan that our doctors have drawn up for you and
you will become a woman. If you try and fight us, you will be punished.
Take another look at the fourth picture I handed to you earlier, the
one with the woman with the DD-cup breasts. If you continue to refuse
to cooperate with us, you will be taken to the surgery unit and given
similar DD-cup breast implants. Then, as your own breasts begin to
develop, I imagine that when you are discharged in 2 years time, you
will probably have grown to gigantic HH-cup breasts. If that's what you
want, then carry on rebelling. If not, I suggest you cooperate with my
staff".
I knew at this point that there was very little I could do but to
cooperate with the staff. The only glimmer of hope that I could hang on
to was to go back to those photographs that Hailey my sister had
somehow made and prove to the staff that I had been set up.
Chapter 11
As the end of March approached, and with the Easter weekend just days
away, I received 2 pieces of bad news. Both my mother and Hailey were
coming to visit me for the Easter break and would be staying in one of
the 3 hotels located in the Ferndale Centre grounds. My mother and
sister were the last 2 people on earth that I wanted to see, especially
Hailey, as it was her lies that were forcing me to become a woman. But
with the threat of DD-cup breast implants still fresh in my mind, I
realized I had no option that to cooperate.
The second piece of bad news was that on the following Tuesday, after
the Easter weekend, I would be starting to attend my new school.
On the day before Good Friday, nurse Maureen informed me that when my
mother and sister were coming to visit, I would, for the first time in
nearly a month, be allowed out into the grounds of the Ferndale Centre.
They had a similar security system to the assessment centre and I would
have to wear the bracelet locked onto my wrist.
Whist talking with Maureen, she asked me, considering the situation I
was in, a very strange question.
"Alice, before admission to the Ferndale Centre, had you ever worn
girl's clothing?"
"No "was my honest response. "Why did you ask me that?"
" I am a trained nurse and have been for 27 years" she began. "During
that time, I've seen just about everything. For 10 years I worked as a
senior nurse in a adult mental health unit. Have you ever heard of a
condition called Munchausen syndrome?"
"No" I responded.
"Well Munchausen syndrome is a condition in which an individual
repeatedly fakes illness to get sympathy or medical attention from
others, usually a doctor or other medical staff. Sometimes they will
deliberately self-harm: for example, they deliberately take an overdose
not to kill themselves, but so they will then turn up at an Accident
and Emergency Centre in order to receive medical treatment from the
staff. These people are very clever and very convincing, and the
condition is very hard to spot. My job and expertise was to spot these
people and so I picked up on every single thing they did or said.
"But I don't have Munchausen syndrome, do I?" I said.
"Of course you don't, Alice. If you remember the very first time we
met, it was when you had just woken up from being sedated following
your castration.
"To be honest, I can't really remember" I said.
"Well Alice, I came into your room with Beverly. On looking at your
file, which contains over 20 different photographs of you wearing your
sister's clothing, you can clearly see that in most of them, you are
wearing a bra."
"But they're all fake" I protested.
What nurse Maureen said next both shocked and surprised me.
"Alice, I believe you."
"What, how, why?" was my confused response.
"The main purpose of that first meeting was to get you out of bed and
dressed in your new lingerie and into your dress. When Beverly handed
you your bra, you didn't have a clue how to put it on. That didn't make
sense. The pictures in your file indicate that you have worn a bra on
multiple occasions, yet you didn't have a clue how to put on the bra
that she gave you. From that moment I suspected that something sinister
was going on."
On hearing this, I collapsed to the floor in floods of tears, tears of
joy.
The revelation from nurse Maureen that she thought that there may be
something sinister behind my sister's many lies, the forged photographs
and her resulting belief that I may have therefore been mistakenly
diagnosed with SGID really lifted my spirits. Maureen also told me that
as there was no evidence yet against my sister or anything to show that
the photographs had been altered it would need to be proved and this
would take some time. But of course time was something that was against
me: daily the female hormones were slowly but surely feminising my
body. Indeed, over the last several days, my nipples had become itchy,
sore and tender. Maureen explained that this was the beginning of my
breast development. She planned to secretly take several of the
original photographs and have them examined by an expert. Meanwhile,
she advised me to tell nobody about her plan and to carry on as normal,
both when my mother and sister arrived the following day and at school
which I was to start on the following Tuesday.
The next day, Good Friday, I was very nervous as I ate breakfast in the
dining room alongside my fellow patients. Taking Beverly's advice, I
dressed in a black knee-length dress, tights and flat Mary Jane shoes.
Of course with my hair still being too short, Beverly fixed the brown
shoulder length wig to my head after she had put light makeup on my
face. At 10.am, Beverly announced that my mother and Hailey had arrived
and I held out my left arm to allow her to place the electronic
bracelet around my wrist. She said I didn't need a coat as it was a
warm spring day and so I was now ready to meet the two people I hated
the most, my mother and sister.
On seeing them for the first time since that dreaded interview when I
was being held at the Assessment Centre, mother ran towards me and gave
me a huge hug; at the same time I noticed the smug look on Hailey's
face.
" Wow, you look amazing Alice" mother said. " I can hardly recognise
you"
At this point I wanted to punch both my mother and sister in the face,
but somehow I kept my cool. For the first hour or so, we walked around
part of the huge Ferndale Centre and mother said that she was so happy
that she was going to have a new daughter and was counting the days
until I was released and returned home. Little did she know that I
would rather walk on hot coals than return home following my release.
Hailey asked how well I was adjusting to my new life and even had the
nerve to ask if I was on hormones yet and had I been castrated. When I
told her that yes I was on hormones and yes I had been castrated, I've
never seen such a large smile on somebody's face as I was seeing now.
"It's for the best Alice", mother said, and I responded by saying that
she was right, and I even thanked Hailey for outing me as a
transsexual. I even joked that when I returned home in 2 years time,
we could have such fun borrowing each other's clothes.
At lunchtime we went into one of the restaurants located in the grounds
of the Ferndale Centre before I had to return to the ward because I had
to attend a medical examination there. After arranging to meet the
following day at 10am, we all walked back to the ward where, after
pressing the door bell, mother and Hailey both kissed and hugged me
before the door opened and Beverly escorted me back to the ward.
My medical examination was carried out by a doctor I hadn't met before,
Dr Gillian Harris. Dr Harris asked me to take off every single item of
clothing as she needed to examine my body. First she examined my empty
scrotum and commented " Your castration surgery has healed well and
there's no sign of infection".
Then she took a tape measure and took measurements of my hips.
"Your hips are developing nicely", a comment I didn't want to hear.
Next she started to feel my bottom.
" Your bottom is beginning to show signs of fatty tissue and I expect
in about a year, you will have a stunning hourglass figure"
Then she placed her hands on my chest and began to feel my nipples and
the area surrounding them. This caused me considerable discomfort which
didn't go unnoticed by the doctor. "Excellent" she said, as she removed
her hands from my chest and asked me to pee in a container that she
picked up from the trolley located in the room. It was embarrassing
giving my urine sample in front of the doctor. Finally, she took a
blood sample from my arm, and told me to get dressed.
"Your breasts are starting to develop and the tenderness you feel at
the moment will pass in a few months. Your areolas are developing
nicely, and you already have small swellings around your nipples. These
swellings are the beginning of your breast development".
After being told that I would have my next medical in 4 weeks time, I
was allowed to leave the examination room and return to the ward.
That evening most of the patients were in the lounge and I began to
form new friendships with some of my fellow detainees. In my first few
weeks, I didn't have much contact with the others as I had spent most
of my time with Sophie, before she was moved to another ward. I had
already decided that when someone would ask about my own situation, I
would give the false impression that I had accepted my feminisation and
was looking forward to growing breasts and eventually having my final
surgery.
Penny, who was the newest patient on the ward apart from myself and
Sophie, explained the circumstances that led to her being detained on a
Section 9 order. Just a few months ago, Penny had been Andrew. Penny
was 17 years old and been a crossdresser from about the age of 10. She
couldn't make up her mind whether or not she was transsexual because
she enjoyed being a boy and playing sports with her friends, but she
also enjoyed her girl time and dressing up in her sister's clothing,
before her parents started purchasing her own lingerie, skirts and
dresses. At school and elsewhere she was bullied and had been beaten up
many times. Penny's family had therefore decided that they needed
expert help, and after a visit to the family doctor, it was decided
that she be sent to a Section 8 Assessment Centre. The Centre decided
that as Penny couldn't decide if she wanted to transition, it would in
her best interests to be placed on a Section 9 treatment order. Penny
explained to me that she had mixed emotions about being forced to
change her sex, because although the idea of having breasts excited
her, she didn't want to lose her penis.
Sabrina's story as to how she ended up at the Section 9 treatment
centre was, if true, similar to my own. Just over a year ago, she had
been found asleep on a park bench near her home, dressed like a
prostitute. She was found wearing a black leather mini dress, fishnet
stockings and knee-high boots. Sabrina, who was called Brian at the
time and just 16 years old, was rushed to hospital, where he spent
several days. Because of his age, Social Services were contacted, and
he was closely monitored. Throughout this time, Brian insisted that he
had been drugged by Joanne, his 19-year-old step-sister, been dressed
up in the clothes that he was discovered wearing in the park and
somehow taken to the park by Joanne and her friends. At the time, The
Gender Diversity Act had not yet become law, so Brian was placed in the
care of Social Services and held at the Ferndale Centre where he lived
as a boy for 6 months until the Act became law and he was assessed as
having SGID and placed on a Section 9 treatment order and his name
changed to Sabrina.
Julia's story was the most shocking of all. She born a hermaphrodite
and raised as a girl on the advice of the medical experts. Against
medical advice, her parents refused permission on religious grounds for
castration and removal of her penis. At the age of 10, she began living
as a boy with the full support of her parents, which worked well for a
couple of years until puberty set in. Poor Julia's body began to
feminise, whilst at the same time puberty did not affect her male
equipment. Aged just 15, and having developed C-cup breasts, she had
little choice than to return to living as a girl. Understandably, this
seriously affected her mental health and aged 16 she had a nervous
breakdown and spent over a year in a juvenile mental health unit.
Because her parents refused to consent to any surgical procedures,
Social Services made an application to have her made a Ward of Court,
then had her placed in foster care until being sent to the Ferndale
Centre when she turned 18. When the Gender Diversity Act became law
just over 7 months ago, the decision to remove her male organs was made
and in 8 weeks time, she was due to become the first person to undergo
the final surgery under the Act.
Chapter 12
Today was the day that I had been dreading the most in the month or so
of my detention at the centre. Although I had been wearing skirts and
dresses for the entire month, there was just something about having to
attend school in my new girls' school uniform that I guess took my
enforced feminisation to the next level. I was nervous as hell as I put
on my white lingerie, school blouse and red school tie, quickly
followed by