Coming to Terms
Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]
"You can't say that you won't look nice, not unless you try it!"
"No!"
"But why not? I mean, it's not like you haven't done it before,
remember that Halloween party?"
"Yeah, but I was ten, not 18!"
"I know that honey, but you know that we need the money, and Cheryl
assures me that this is a job is a gimme!"
"Maybe, but why do I have to dress up like a girl!?"
"Cheryl told me that since all of her clients are women, and she
advertises her place as an ALL female establishment, she would require
a girl in that job, even though it's working in the back! It's not like
everyone will see you honey, and it pays really well, more she said, if
your work is as good as I told her it would be!"
"So... it'll just be taking care of the books?"
"That and some other computer related things, but yes, that's what she
told me."
Cheryl was my mothers best friend growing up, and had become very
successful. When my dad suddenly died of a bad heart, we began to
struggle. There was never enough money, and mom's job at the school
just wasn't enough to cover the gap. Now I had the chance to finally
help my mom, but Cheryl's job offer would require that I do it while
dressed as a girl! While I had my doubts about how I would look, mom
was confident that I could be passable, at least passable enough to
work in a back office. As much as I feared that I would look like a
clown, how could I possibly say no? Mom had done everything in her
power to make it possible for me to finish school, even borrowing
against the house, and had never once complained or asked me for any
help. I owed her, and I owed her big, and I knew it.
"Okay" I said with some trepidation, I guess I'll try it, but if I look
like a clown...."
"You won't, I promise!" Mom sounded confident.
At her direction, I sat in a tub of bubblebath shaving every inch of
skin I could easily reach. That took a bit less than two hours or so,
then she came in and went over my skin again, getting the places I
missed or could not reach. Then came the skin lotion she had me rub in
all over, saying it would make my skin softer, and feel better.
Glancing into my room, I could see the clothes laying on the bed and
wondered once again if there was any way that I could do this without
feeling like a chump, or worse. Panties, then a bra filled with socks,
a half slip, pantyhose and a blouse followed by the skirt and low
heels. Then came the makeup and her old wig. By the time mom was done
with me I reluctantly had to admit that it might, if nobody looked real
hard, and if it was just a bit dark, it just might be possible for me
to do it. While not what I would call pretty, and certainly not a
knockout, I did not look nearly as bad as I feared. That surprised me
because of my build.
I was about average for a guy, 5' 7" tall, not heavy, but not exactly
skinny either. Mom took me into the kitchen and began to file and paint
my nails, then, when she was finished, told me that Cheryl was going to
stop by and interview me!
"She thought it would be easier for you to do it here, and she can give
you more details about the job and any other requirements. But you do
know that her chain of stores caters to women, from a full range spa to
clothing, so I'm sure that she'll want you to look nice, even if you do
work in an office. Just listen to her before you decide to take the job
or not, okay?"
"Sure," I said, still wondering how mom managed to make me look at
least as nice as I did. I was positive that I would look somewhere
between terrible and outlandish! Cheryl showed up about an hour later.
She was the epitome of feminine style and looks, and just one look at
her made me feel like that clown I had worried about, but, she was very
gracious in her comments about how I looked.
"Oh my! You look wonderful! Stand up dear, and let me see." I stood up,
turned around, then sat back down. "I know that you are wondering why I
suggested this, so let me tell you." She sat back in the chair. "I've
known you since birth, and your mother since grade school, and would do
anything to help her.... and you of course; I even wanted her to work
for me, but she turned me down because of some silly notion that I had
pity for her! However, my accountant just quit, without notice I might
add, and I really need to fill that job. When I found out that you're
quite good at math, and computers, and with your outstanding grades in
business studies, well, I made the suggestion to your mother that you
might want to fill that spot. As far as dressing like this goes, I'm
sure you already know that my clientele are all women, and since they
are always moving around the shop, usually wearing nothing but short
gowns, it would not do to have a young man there, which, I'm sure, that
you can understand. That's why I have an all female staff.
Unfortunately we do not have a private entrance, so you would have to
walk through the shop just to get to your office, and during the day
there will be times that you'll have to be in the shop, which is why I
need you to be a girl. But, I really want to stress, that that is the
only reason! However, all of my employees can avail themselves of our
services at a vastly reduced rate, or even free if the situation
warrants it, and that would certainly include you. Now, I have a disk,
one of my back up disks. I want to see what you can do with it if I
changed a few things. I want to see if you are as good as your mother
says. Care to try?"
"Yes Ma'am," I said, much calmer because I was about to be back in my
element.
We all crowded around my computer as I popped the cd into the computer,
opened the file, and looked it over. Frankly, it was a mess! Cheryl
began to suggest changes, which I made, then I stopped her.
"This is what you work from?"
"Yes, why?"
"Because it does not meet any accounting standard I ever learned in
school! This needs to be over there, and this column does not compute
the actual numbers to reveal the net! Whoever did this used a simple
math function way down at the bottom to arrive at this number, which
does not account for some of the expenses! This is a mess!"
"And you could do better?"
"Of course I could do better than this; but I would have to reformat
the entire file before I could even attempt to refine it. The format
you're using is messy, poorly defined, doesn't use the right formulas,
and from what I see here, I can't see how you could arrive at any kind
of accurate picture of your business!"
"That's exactly what my tax advisor told me. I guess you do know your
stuff!"
"Thanks, but...."
"But you're worried about having to work as a girl?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"And this is your first time dressing as a girl?"
"Yes Ma'am."
"Well, I don't think you have anything to worry about; and if you let
me, I can offer you some help. After all, we do specialize in making
women beautiful; and trust me, some of them need all the help they can
get!"
How much does it pay Cheryl?" Mom asked that casually.
"Given what I've seen here, and if she does as well at I hope, I'll
start her as $2500 a month, plus the use of the salon, for free, for as
long as she feels she needs it."
"That's 30 grand a year," I said excitedly.
"Yes dear, I know," said Cheryl with a grin, "but from what you've
showed me, I'll probably get all of it back, just in savings! Now then,
what do we call you?"
"Her name is Kathy," mom said. "Katherine was her grandmothers name."
"Okay Kathy, I'll expect you promptly at nine tomorrow morning!"
"I'll be there," I said, all those dollars making the decision easy.
And that my friends, became the beginning of my adventures as a girl.
Since I had virtually no clothes other than what I had on, mom insisted
that Cheryl provide a small cash advance so that I could buy some of
the things I needed, like shoes. But also some skirts and blouses to
start with. With a laugh, she wrote out a check.
"I like my staff to be on time Kathy."
"I'll be there," I said shakily, a queasy sense of unease working on
me, after I agreed to work for her.... as a girl!
After Cheryl left, all I could do was stare at the wall, wondering why
I let myself get dragged into this, but I knew the answer well. Money.
It was just that simple. We needed it, and she offered a lot of it, so
I didn't have any choice but to accept it. Mom had gone into more debt
than she could easily handle, just so we could stay put until I
graduated. Now I had the chance to get rid of that debt, only I would
have to do it in a dress! I told myself it would be like wearing a
uniform; you might not like it, but you wore it because you needed the
job. Hopefully that would work, because I felt like an inept fool in a
dress.
Mom left, telling me that she was going to get me a few things, and
that we would practice my walk and so on when she got back. Goody! Mom
returned with several bags of clothes; assorted skirts and blouses as
well as two dresses and some shoes and pantyhose. Mom had me try on
everything, then I spent an hour or so trying to learn how to walk and
sit, along with some other things. The following morning mom got me up
early to help me get ready. Once she was satisfied, she sat me at her
vanity and began to show me how to do my makeup, telling me that I
might as well learn to do it myself. The wig was attached, then the
earrings, and finally, I stepped into the low heels. The skirt was
gray, the blouse red, my shoes black. As I looked in the mirror, I knew
that I was on the precipice, that very thin line that fell between
admitting to myself that I looked almost good, and scared to death that
I even had that thought!
Leaving the house wasn't that hard, walking into the salon was. I just
knew that I didn't, couldn't, fit in; I was awkward in my movements,
and trying to mimic the women only made it worse. At least that's what
I thought, but Grace, the receptionist, was quite pleasant, and led me
into the back where Cheryl had her office. After a quick hello, Cheryl
quickly showed me my office, and handed me a slip of paper with my log
on info.
"Coffee is in the outer closet, the restrooms are just down the hall.
Take as much time as you need, but please check the files carefully
before you do anything, but I'm sure that you already know that."
With that Cheryl left me alone, and after a cup of coffee, I went to
work. I backed up the entire file, then began trying to make sense of
things. That took most of the morning, and ten pages of notes before I
even thought about reformatting the file. New formulas, dates, and
different calculations were required for almost all of the fields since
most of the old ones were worthless. Values compounded by reductions in
equipment usage via the IRS code, or costs incurred for free services
or promotions were not even documented. In short, the books were a
mess. I spent that entire first morning outlining most of the changes,
without actually making any. I reviewed the first batch of changes with
Cheryl, and got her blanket okay to proceed.
"Can I suggest something Kathy?"
"Sure."
"Lets spend the rest of the day making you more comfortable."
"Huh?"
"What I mean is, lets get your nails done, and that wig, while it looks
nice, does nothing for you. I have some of the best stylists working
here, and I'll bet that they can do your own hair in a way that would
allow you to forget that wig. It'll be cooler, and you'll feel much
more natural, and we can fix up a small makeup kit for you too."
"Now?"
"Now." She said, then led me out to the front of the shop, which was
not quite empty, but close. "This is Sheila. She is the lead stylist,
and will guide your entire makeover. You can trust her, I promise."
Sheila greeted me warmly, giving no sign that it was in any way odd to
have a guy sitting in her chair. She removed the wig, and began by
washing my hair. Once that was done she started to weave in some
extensions. That took quite a while, then she dyed my hair so it was
all one color, a strawberry blond color, and set it in rollers. While I
was under the dryer, another girl, named Kelly, started in on my nails.
After removing the polish mom had used, she began sanding and buffing,
cleaning, and by adding acrylic extensions, she made my nails a bit
longer and narrower, then painted them a soft reddish pink color. Then
it was back to Sheila, who removed the rollers and began cutting,
brushing and styling. I had no idea what she was doing, only that it
did feel cooler. My first glimpse of what Sheila had done came when I
was seated at the makeup specialists table, and I saw myself in the
mirror.
Used to seeing medium brown hair, I was a bit shocked to see myself as
a blond, but the way she fixed my hair made my face seem somehow
softer, less angular I guess, and every time I moved my hands, my eyes
were instantly drawn to the painted fingernails! Nancy had to know that
I wasn't a girl, but she said nothing as she wiped away the makeup mom
had done, and started all over.
"I want you to use this every day before you do your makeup. Okay?
It'll help cover that faint beard shadow you have."
She showed me how to use it, then proceeded to show me how to apply
makeup, making me do it myself several times before she gave the okay.
By the time I was "done," as Nancy put it, I had to admit that I did
not look like a boy in a skirt, but rather, a modestly attractive girl!
My self esteem had taken a beating when I first saw myself dressed up
as a girl, but when I looked in the mirror, I could honestly say that I
felt relieved in a way. Just walking into the salon each morning would
be much easier... if I could manage to look about the same each day,
and not walk like a guy!
When I left for home that night I had a certain liveliness in my walk,
knowing that I looked better than I had any right to expect, and
certainly not at all like the clown I had feared. Feeling that I had a
chance to fit in, I dared to go in the mall, get my ears pierced, and
bought several sets of earrings before I went home. Mom was totally
shocked at the way I looked, and just stood there gaping at me.
"Lordy! Just look at you! You're gorgeous!"
"Yeah, I guess. Cheryl offered to help, and with these extensions
Sheila put in, it's a lot cooler, that's for sure!"
"And the pierced ears?"
"I stopped at the mall and had that done."
"Alone?"
"Of course alone! I'm a big girl, I can handle it!"
"A big girl?"
"I guess that's what I am now, at least until we get the second
mortgage paid off, right?"
Mom didn't say anything, and that night I spent an hour or so doing my
makeup over and over until I was sure that I had it right. I told
myself that if I had to dress like a girl, I damn sure didn't want to
look foolish doing it, especially working for the queen of beauty!
Fitting in was my major driving force, because while I can't say that I
hated it, dressing up as a girl was my uniform, and looking passable
would only make it easier for me to exist as a girl in the shop. I put
out my clothes for the next day; my summer dress. Mom said it looked
delicious on me. A clean bra and panties, and my white shoes. Then I
went to bed.
I had not realized it, but the dress was short, almost two inches above
my knees, and with the petticoat, it sort of floated out a bit. I did
not have mom help me get ready, so when she saw me, she almost swooned!
I thought I looked like someone named June Cleaver, especially after
mom added that pearl necklace and earrings, but she once again said
that I looked "gorgeous," to use her word. I left for work after a
quick bite, strolling through the salon as if I owned the place. I saw
Sheila smiling at me when I walked in. Cheryl was in my office when I
went in.
"Sheila said that you looked quite lovely, and it looks like she was
right! That dress suits you!"
"Thanks. But Sheila didn't have a lot to work with!"
"Don't ever degrade yourself Kathy, you look very nice!," Cheryl paused
a moment, then.... What are you using to create your breasts?"
"Socks, why?"
"It shows honey. No bounce. All girl have bounce when they walk."
"But I can't.... "
"We have a specialist that comes in on request. She helps women who are
less... round than they would like, or need to be. I have asked her to
call me today. I want you to visit with her. I'm sure that she can give
you the right amount of bounce."
"How much does she..."
"We'll work that out later. Right now I want you to see if she can help
you. If it helps any, she works with many of the finest female
impersonators and the best Hollywood makeup people in the country. She
makes some of the very best devices, and is always in demand. Just let
her do her thing, okay?"
"Yeah, sure, I guess."
"Okay! I'll call you when she gets here."
Putting boobs out of my mind the best I could, I went to work. After
creating the new page format, I began to move the numbers into the
right cells, creating the new formulas as I went. In some cases, it was
easier to just type the information than copy it; in fact, that's what
I did most of the time. The biggest results came when I took the gross
income minus the noted expenses and after factoring in the deductions,
the number was at least 30 percent greater than previously noted! I
kept at it for another hour, then took a break. It was like that every
day as new revelations in the old accounting method brought on new
problems. It was tedious, but a challenge as well. three weeks later,
Cheryl called me into her office.
"Kathy, this is Carolyn. She's the woman I mentioned to you? The
specialist in body makeovers? Just follow her, talk things over, and do
what she tells you."
Carolyn and I went into a back room, one obviously set up for her.
After explaining what she did, and some of the basics on how she did
it... "I want you to undress Kathy, down to your panties please. And
don't be nervous, I've done this for many males, some of them very well
known."
Once I was undressed, she began to test my skin tone for color, then
showed me a pair of breasts that looked alive, and they were just
sitting there! Again she explained how everything worked and why before
she asked for my approval.
"Once I attach them, you'll have them for at least six months, so I
want you to be very sure about this Kathy."
You could easily say that I was very conflicted at that point. I tried
real hard to view wearing a dress as a uniform, and while it worked
once in a while, not always. By letting her attach breast forms to my
chest, I would be telling everyone that I had accepted my new role in a
more vigorous, and very undeniable way; however, since my work would
take at least that long, maybe longer, and we truly did need the money.
I looked at her, still unsure if my determination to pay off the debts
offset the certainty of what having breasts would mean.
"Kathy," Carolyn said softly, "concern is a good thing, and it can help
you make great decisions, but fear, if you let it, can swallow you
whole, leaving nothing behind! I heard that the work you are doing is
very good, and I know that Cheryl is very happy with you; I also know
that as much as you are fighting it, you are beginning to get used to,
if not beginning to enjoy being a girl. It's not something you can hide
from and old broad like me, so let me attach these to your chest. I
know they'll feel odd for a few days, but they will help you in many
ways, and I think you know that!"
She was right, and I knew it, so I nodded my head yes. Carolyn
carefully prepared my skin, then one at a time, she attached them to my
chest. When she was done, she had me look in the mirror. Shockingly, it
looked like I had grown my own boobs in just a few minutes!
"Now for the bottom!"
"Bottom?"
"Well, girls are different there too, right?" I started to say
something, but, "Kathy, girls have a certain roundness at the hips, in
the front just below the waist, and on the bottom! It's what their
clothes are designed around and are made to fit. Cheryl has already
told me that you'll be here for at least six more months, and I already
know that you're trying very hard to fit in, or you would not have let
me attach the breast forms! In this environment, working as a young
lady, you'll certainly want to have your clothes as comfortable as
possible and fit properly, especially if you're going to mingle with
the customers once in a while, right? Besides, it'll make it easier
when you have to use the restrooms, wear a swimsuit, or maybe shorts!
Now, off!"
"Does it... I mean, will it make me look like a girl?"
"Yes, of course! That's the idea! Not only will you look like a girl,
you'll have to use the facilities like a girl, which will ultimately be
safer for you, and as a special gift from me, you'll also enjoy the
experience of having the monthlies!"
"Periods!? I'll have periods?! No!"
"Oh yes! And why not? Cheryl told me that you only took this job to
help your mother, even agreeing to dress as a girl so you would fit in!
That is so brave! Not many guys would even try it; but since you have
already agreed to the breasts, why not go the whole route? I mean,
being half a girl won't be easy, will it?"
"I guess not, but periods? Isn't that a bit out there?"
"It is one of the preeminent things about women honey, and by having
periods, there isn't going to be anyone that can say that you're not a
female, right? And isn't that the idea in doing all this? So you can
fit in? Cheryl tells me that you think of wearing a dress as a uniform;
well, think of this as just another part of that uniform!"
Then she showed it to me. Just looking at it, I could see that just
laying there on the table like that it, truly looked ugly as sin, but
she did have a point. Standing up in the ladies room like I had been
doing wouldn't be very good if anyone caught me, and fitting in was
definitely one of my preeminent goals, so after some consideration, I
grudgingly agreed. Her logic was impeccable of course. Having to stand
there like that as she measured and so on was embarrassing, but she was
very clinical as well as very efficient, and within a bit over an hour
and some help from her to get it on, I was standing there naked, and I
looked exactly like a girl! Pulling on my panties, I could tell they
were tighter, like they should have been, and the bra, well, it held my
breasts up while pushing them out a bit. I did not expect that, and
when I had the dress on you could see just a bit of cleavage! With all
of the other changes, my hair, the makeup and nails, I could not help
but think that I looked pretty good, and seeing cleavage peeking out of
my dress was definitely new and different!
I had always known that my appendage could cause me trouble if I sat
down the wrong way, that happened once in a while, and it always hurt
like hell; while that special panty eliminated that issue, it felt
really strange not to have anything between my legs. The smooth
swelling roundness from my waist to my.... twatsie, covered in a thin
brush of light colored hair, only made it clear that Carolyn was quite
good at what she did. I looked over at her and saw the smile on her
face.
"It'll take a while to get used to it honey," she said softly, "but you
know I'm right, or you would not have agreed. I strongly recommend that
you buy some tampons and carry them in your purse, since I can't say
exactly when you'll start. I'm guessing about three weeks, but it may
be less, or maybe even a bit more, but it's better to be safe rather
than sorry."
"Thanks Carolyn, but I can't say when I can pay you!"
"Since you have such a great need, I used a new, and experimental panty
on you, so the panty is free as long as you and I talk about it when
I'm here?"
"Experimental?"
"The overall fit, and the way the inner parts are designed Kathy. The
packets containing the faux blood are new, as well as the time delay,
and the design of the tube for the tampon as well as the adhesive I
used is also new. This design also puts the seams in the natural folds
of the skin, such as where the leg and hip come together. It makes
detection virtually impossible. Take my card. I want you to let me know
right away if you have any reaction, okay?"
"Sure."
Having wider hips made my waist look smaller, the dress did look
better, and of course, I had "bounce," as Cheryl put it. It was an
eerie feeling, that lack of parts below, yet I found that I could
easily sit with my knees together without pain, as before. My breasts,
obviously heavier than the socks, would pull at my chest when I walked,
the gentle tug at my skin letting me know they were there. My mind was
racing, caught up in the moment, knowing that for all intents, I had
become a female, and nobody could tell I wasn't. Only two months had
passed since this all started, and now I was a girl! I went back to
work, trying to focus on the work rather than the changes; that was a
very hard afternoon.
My mom did not find out about the panty or boobs for another three days
because I didn't tell her. I guess I was both ashamed that I had let
that be done to me, but also, a small part of me was proud; I had
achieved my goal of fitting in. I no longer looked like a boy in a
dress, but instead, I looked like an average looking girl, complete
with all the right parts! I was in my bedroom checking my email,
wearing nothing but a bra and panties when mom walked in on me. There
was no way she could miss my boobs, or my wider hips. I was a full B
cup, which, in that underwire bra, gave me great cleavage. Without
thinking, I popped out of that chair and just stood there facing her.
My breasts, wider hips, bigger butt, and a groin clearly defined by a
faint crease in the panties, all made her eyes go wide as she gasped.
"What has happened to you!? You have... and you have a...."
"Mom," I said, Cheryl has this friend...." I went on to explain what
she did and why I let her do it. "Now I'll fit in a bit better, I don't
have to worry about using the ladies room, and besides, now my clothes
fit better!"
"So... you like being a girl?"
"No ma, it's not like that! We both know that I'll be there for at
least six months, most probably more if she likes my work, and if I
have to dress as a girl, why shouldn't I let her do it? I mean, for
example, for you it's normal to just go into a ladies room. For me, it
was always an adventure because I never knew who would be in there! And
before, if I sat down wrong, well, trust me, that's a thrill I can
really live without. I just decided that since I'm doing this, I might
as well do the best I can, or not at all, and the very last thing
anyone wants is for me to be found out. That would be bad for me, very
bad for Cheryl, and not good for you! This way they won't find out...
ever!"
"So... you look.... completely like a girl?"
"In every way mom. Here, look." Hooking my thumbs in my panties, I
pulled them down and stepped out of them; and there it was for mom to
see. Nothing but a stripe of light blond hair and my brand new vagina!
She flopped on the bed in astonishment, not saying anything, and before
she did, I added....
"There is one thing though," I said sheepishly, "I was told that in a
few weeks I'll start having periods, and since I don't know anything
about that...."
"PERIODS! You can have periods?"
"It's something Carolyn built into it. She told me that it was a
special feature she's trying out. She said it was new, and besides,
nobody could say that I'm not a girl, not if I'm having periods,
right?"
Her reaction was first one of stunned silence, then she started to
giggle. That gave way to a very hearty laugh, and finally she was
roaring; tears came from her eyes, she couldn't get her breath, and she
clutched her side, all while I just stood there. Finally, once she
regained control of herself....
"So! I have a daughter now! I guess I'll have to explain a few things
to you then!"
"I'm still your son mother!"
"Lets see, you have breasts, nice ones by the way, wider hips, and of
course you can have periods! Now. Can boys do that? No. Only girls, and
girls are called daughters, which makes you my daughter!"
"But I'm only doing this for the money!"
"I know that honey, I'm sorry, it's just that... well, you've had your
hair and nails done, and now this! I understand the reason you took the
job, and I really do appreciate the effort, but you have become so...
feminine in the last few weeks that I'm already beginning to think of
you as a girl, it's hard not to, and now this!," There wasn't anything
to say, so I didn't. "Let's talk about feminine hygiene, since you
obviously need to know. I'll get a tampon and we'll go through it."
Trust me. That was a discussion I could have lived without, but I had
to know what to do, so I listened to what mom told me, even trying it
once. As that white tube disappeared up my twatsie, it was like a bolt
of lightening hit me as I suddenly realized what else could go in
there! The very thought of that scared me, but there was no way that I
was going to let that happen! I quickly got dressed, then helped make
dinner. My revelation left me with no option. I could not deny that I
could have sex. All I could do was make sure it didn't happen! Mom was
quiet through dinner, and I had time to consider things. There were
only two choices. I could flat out quit, remove the appliances and go
back to being my old broke self, or I could embrace my new status. At
the ripe old age of 18, almost 19, I had gone from male to female! I
knew that I wouldn't quit, we needed the money badly, so my only option
was to become the girl that I looked like, and do my best. Then mom
suggested that she and I hit the mall.
"You have your second paycheck, and now that you really need them, you
should buy more bras, and maybe a few more skirts and tops. Maybe some
shorts? And shoes?"
She was right, so even though we needed the money, she insisted and we
left for the mall. I bought three more bras, all soft cup with a front
hook, in different colors, plus more panties, the high cut ones. Then
three pairs of shoes, some skirts and tops, and two pairs of shorts.
That was all I needed, so I was prepared to leave; mom had other ideas.
"You should get yourself a little black dress honey; all women have one
for that special occasion. Lets see if we can find one, then get you
some inexpensive jewelry. You need more than those hoop earrings
Kathy."
We found a nice sheath dress, then I picked up six more pairs of
earrings, and just as we left the store, I ran into Sheila!
"Kathy! You look great!"
"Hi Sheila, this is my mom, Janet."
"Hi Janet! Kathy is doing a great job; Cheryl is very pleased with her
work!"
"That's nice to know. Kathy has always worked hard and has always tried
to do her best."
"Given how hard she's worked just to look the way she looks, I know
that's true!," Turning to me... "Listen hon, I'm having a small get
together on Saturday night, and I would like you to come. It's just the
girls from the shop and their husbands, and a few friends. Want to
come?"
I was about to say no when mom told her that I would be there! "You
can't stay home all the time Kathy! Girls your age you should out be
doing things, and this sounds like a nice party!"
I wasn't sure mom was right, but I just could not say no, not after
what Sheila did for me, so on Saturday afternoon, I changed into a
short skirt, pulled on a light top and put on my gym shoes. As I left
the house I noticed that mom was getting all fancied up. When I asked,
she told me that the new shop teacher had asked her out!
"He's very nice Kathy, and this is the first time I've been out since
your father died. I'm probably going to be late, so if I'm not home
when you get back, don't wait up."
I'm not so dumb that I couldn't figure out that mom was, more likely
than not, planning on getting her fancy tickled, but she had been alone
a long time, almost two years, and she had every right to find someone
that would love her. Grinning, I left the house. For some strange
reason I finally felt as if I belonged with the girls. It wasn't just
the boobs and the rest, it was something else. Maybe the way I looked,
I don't know. I only knew that I was looking forward to relaxing at a
picnic of sorts.
Sheila greeted me at the door, and as I walked to the patio, I saw
Nancy, Marcie, Carolyn and Cheryl standing together. I walked up and
said hi.
"Just the girl I want to talk to," Marcie said as she took me by the
arm. Once we were a few steps away... "listen Kathy, I know this might
be a delicate subject, but have you considered having your beard
removed? Or thinned a little?"
"No, why?"
"Wouldn't it be nice to just use some powder and lipstick every day,
rather than that beard cover, foundation and powder? I mean, it's not
like you're doing anything wrong, it'll just that it'll be easier,
that's the only reason I mentioned it. I'd be happy to do it, and I
just know that you would like it too."
"But what about after..."
"You like shaving every day?"
"No..."
"Well?"
Marcie had made her point quite easily, and she was right. Even when I
went back to being myself, not having to shave every day would not only
save time, it would reduce costs. No razors. I told her I would do it,
and she told me when to see her. Just then Nancy walked over, a young
man with her.
"Kathy, this is Ethan. He's Janice's nephew. I found him standing over
there all alone; he looked like a lost puppy, and I thought that you
kids would have more in common than we would, so...."
"Hi," he said shyly.
"Hi. I'm Kathy."
"You get dragged here too?"
"No, I work at the salon."
"Doing what?"
"I handle the books."
"Whoa! You must be really smart!"
"It's not that hard once you understand the format."
"Want a soda?"
"Yeah," I said softly, "I guess I could use one."
Ethan took me by the elbow and steered me to the cooler, then onto the
grill where we each got a burger, then other things, like a salad.
Never having had to relate to a guy as a girl, I was a bit nervous, but
he was, like me, shy in many ways. He was very tall, over six foot, and
with his reddish blond hair, blue eyes and crooked smile, he wasn't bad
looking I guess. Not that I considered that of course. He and I sat
together to eat, then, when someone put on some music, he cautiously
asked me to dance.
"I'm not a very good dancer Ethan, I'll probably step on your feet, a
lot!"
"Me neither, but let's try it anyway."
Taking me lightly by the hand, we stepped out on the small patio, he
took me into his arms, and we began to dance. I was shocked to find out
that following him wasn't that hard, and against all my natural male
instincts, I actually enjoyed it. We did not get close, but his arm
around my waist was more than enough to reinforce just how much like a
girl I had become. Combined with the fact that more than ever I felt
that I fit in with the other girls, and I just relaxed and enjoyed his
attention. The party broke up about seven, and after thanking Sheila, I
started for my car. Ethan did not ask for my number, but he did walk me
out to the car. On the way home I was surprised to find myself
wondering if I would ever hear from him again! Mom wasn't home when I
got there, but I wasn't surprised. I took a shower, changed into a
nightgown, an sat watching television until I went to bed.
The next day was Sunday, and per arrangement, I met Marcie at the shop,
and we began the laser treatments to remove my beard. Since it didn't
hurt, and she was very deft, I spent almost four hours there. Both
sides of my face, some neck and under my nose were done. A thinning she
called it, which meant that she didn't try to get it all, just a
portion of it. I could feel the difference with my hand.
"Four, maybe five more sessions, and voila! No more beard for Kathy!"
"Thanks Marcie. It feels nice."
"Ethan? That guy you were with? He likes you."
"How would you know?"
"He told Janice, and she told me. But he's a little shy, and I'll bet
that he probably didn't even ask to call you!"
"No, he didn't, but I'm not a.... and I never...."
"Honey, you look like one, act like one, smell like one, and dress like
one, so like it or not, you are one! You're a girl! Whatever you were
before you came here is irrelevant! Listen, everyone here knows that
you're going to get that job full time, which means that you'll be a
girl for a very long time, so unless you plan on being a nun or
something.... you can't stay home all the time; all work and no play
makes for a very cranky Kathy!," I started to say something, but....
"Ethan might not be the guy for you, but he's very nice, and they would
not have introduced you two if they didn't think so too, so quit
fussing about what you were, and start being what you are!"
Marcie was elegantly terse, but she hit that nail right on the head.
After almost three months of living and working as a girl, any pretense
I harbored about being a boy was just wishful thinking. In virtually
every way I had become a female, and nobody thought of me as a boy in a
dress any more. I was Kathy, the bean counter. Even though I felt like
I fit in as one of the girls, deep down I knew that I wasn't, and that
little bit of hesitation was all that was holding me back. It was
making me cautious about dating, and certainly more. I left the salon
and went home, only to find mom and her friend there.
"Kathy! I was wondering where you were! This is David. Dave, my
daughter Kathy."
We said our hello's, and I went to my room. I checked my face, but
quickly decided to check the internet on the subject of boys becoming
girls. It was tedious wading through all of the porn stuff, but I
found out what I wanted to know. By the time I emerged from my room,
mom and David were gone. I picked up the phone and called Janice, and
told her to tell Ethan he could call me if he wanted to. I know it was
forward of me to do that, but I after what I learned on the internet, I
finally decided to join the girls fully, and that meant dating, and
Ethan was as good a candidate as any!
Mom and David returned a bit later, holding hands. By the look on her
face, mom was very happy. I didn't ask why, and she didn't tell. David
however kept staring at me in a way that gave me the willies. It was
like he was undressing me. Mom was 38, and I assumed that he was about
the same age, so why was he looking at me that way? I went in my room
and changed into a pair of jeans and a clean top before I walked out to
the front room. Mom and Dave were sitting there waiting. Mom had that
look on her face.
"Honey? David has asked me to move in with him."
"And?"
"And I'm going to."
"So... what about the house?"
"You can live here, or we can sell it. If we sell it the debt will be
gone and your paycheck will be all yours; if you decide to stay here,
I'll see to it that you have the title in your name."
"I see; so.... when?"
"This weekend honey."
I was crushed. I went in my room and slammed the door, then flopped on
the bed. I had become a girl to help mom pay off the debt, now she
wanted to sell the house? I felt as if she had deceived me, and the
more I thought about it, the madder I got. Just then she came into my
room.
"Kathy, honey, I know how this looks, and you have every right to be
mad at me, but it just happened! You know perfectly well that I would
never intentionally do anything to hurt you! But David is offering me a
chance to start a new life, and at my age, I just can't let it slip
away!," Sitting on the bed next to me, she stroked my hair. "Honey,
this... change you have made for me, I really do appreciate it because
I absolutely know you only did it for me. But you have a great job, one
that that pays better than any other 19 year old you know of, and since
I'm sure that you won't give it up on a whim, or in anger, lets look at
the facts! You need to dress this way to work at the salon, right? So
that's a given. And now that you look as much like a girl as I do, why
would you quit? If we sell the house, the money you make is more than
enough for you to live on very nicely, in an apartment or condo, and
you'll be able to live your own life without worrying about me, the
house or a debt!"
"I suppose, it's just that when I need to talk to someone, you'll be
gone!"
"Ever hear of a telephone?"
"Yeah, I guess, but isn't this kind of quick? I mean it's only been
what? A few weeks? What if this doesn't work out?"
"Then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it."
"I don't like the way he looks at me mom, like I was some kind of...
fresh meat? It's creepy."
"Some men just have that look Kathy. They can't help it, but if it
makes you feel any better I'll mention it to David."
"Don't bother," I said irritably, "sell the house. I'll get a place of
my own, and I won't have to be around him, and I want my bedroom set
when I move."
"You can have more than that honey, he has a house full of furniture
too, so as soon as you find a place, we'll divvy up stuff, okay?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Rather than stay there and fight, I left. I called Marcie on my cell,
then went over to her house. She was just 21, close enough to my age
that we had things in common. She lived with her parents just across
town. I sort of dragged her outside, and proceeded to tell her what
happened. Like the friend she was, she listened until I managed to quit
talking.
"Well," she said, "it seems to me that your mom was right! Having your
own place might be just what you need!"
"Then why are you still at home?"
"I'm still paying off my college loans."
"Maybe you're right Marcie. Maybe being on my own would be better. And
I really don't like the way her friend David looks at me. He seems....
creepy."
She and I spent the afternoon together, and she helped me understand
that our hearts take us places that might hurt others, and we just have
to cope with the changes. In a sense, I felt as if my mom betrayed me,
yet I knew in my heart that it wasn't true. She was following her
heart, and felt that I was old enough to deal with it. The next day I
began looking in the papers for a place, and discovered that buying a
condo would be cheaper than renting, and I would gain equity to boot!
Cheryl was in her office, so I asked if I could talk to her. As I began
to tell her what was going on....
"Hold it Kathy; you're getting all worked up over this, and that's not
going to be helpful. You know that your mother would never hurt you,
right? So why not let her enjoy the rest of her life? If this fellow
makes her happy, isn't that the only thing that counts?"
"I suppose, but it feels like I've been used!"
"I can see where you might feel that way, but we both know that isn't
true, so why not accept it and get on with your own life?"
"But I only dressed this way to help, and...."
"Okay, stop right there young lady! I can accept the fact that this
began this as an effort to help your mother, but it has gone farther
than that, much farther! Isn't that right? What I mean is, at every
step of your... ummm... transition, you had the chance to say no, yet
you didn't, did you? Now, you are doing spectacular work for me, and I
am thrilled with it, and I know that I set the parameters for your
employment, but you seem to have embraced this change rather
vigorously! Like it or not honey, you have become a young lady! The way
you walk and move has become very feminine, and so far, not one of the
clients has suggested that you are anything but a girl! You have a
choice Kathy. You can keep working for me, as a girl of course, and
earn a very nice living, or you can quit. It's just that simple!"
"I know, it's just that I'm beginning to like..."
"Being a girl? What's so bad about being a girl?"
"Nothing I guess," I said softly.
"Then lets talk about an advance so you can buy that condo!"
Cheryl loaned me some money, and I bought a two bedroom condo a week
later. Mom let me take enough furniture to get by on, and I moved in
about a week later. During that week I did a lot of soul searching. I
was living and working as a girl, I looked nothing like a guy in any
way, and, according to Marcie and Cheryl, my mannerisms had changed
dramatically. For all intents, I had become a female, and after
thinking about it, I guess I finally accepted it. It really wasn't that
hard to accept, one look in the mirror was all it took; but to abandon
ones past isn't quite as easy as it sounds. Every day I saw kids that I
went to school with, and even though they never once recognized me, the
fear was always there. Also, I didn't have even one piece of ID that
had the name Kathy on it, and that was a worry, because a simple
traffic stop could become a much larger, and more traumatic event.
Since I had accepted that I was going to be a female for an
indeterminate length of time, I asked Cheryl about becoming more
"legal". I asked her if she knew someone that could help, and of
course, she did. Without a pause, she called her lawyer and set him to
work. He visited me in my office where I provided the documents he
asked for, then he took a picture of me. Telling me that it would take
a week or more, then left. I still harbored some reservations, because
by legally changing my name, I would be forever known as a girl. I did
not know it at the time, because I still thought that sooner or later I
could return to my old self, but it was just one more step on the path
of a total reversal of roles.
Ethan had called me, right in the midst of my turmoil, but we talked
for almost an hour! He offered to help me move, and not being a dummy,
I accepted! Mom and I had tagged the items I was going to take, and had
amassed a pile of things like towels, linens, and so on as well. When
Ethan showed up, he had two friends and a truck with him! He hugged me,
then, surprisingly, he kissed me! Mom saw that, and I heard her ahem
behind me. I smiled, and we went to work. It took several trips, but we
got it all moved, then I got us several large pizzas. Ethan's friends
left after we had moved things around the condo, leaving Ethan and I
alone.
"Thanks for the help."
"It was nothing Kathy."
"You kissed me; I thought you were scared of girls..."
"I guess I am a bit shy around girls, but for some reason, you make me
forget all about that. Was it that bad?"
"Not at all; but my mom was watching."
"So? She's a big girl, she can handle it."
"It's just that I've never... what I mean is, I wasn't that big on
guys.... so I never...."
"You were the techie girl the guys were afraid of, the girl that was
smarter than they were on computers, right?"
"I guess."
"I'm not afraid of you," he said, then slipped his arm around my
shoulder. "Let me show you."
He kissed me again, but not gently. He was pushing his lips against
mine with an eagerness that made me gasp inside. His hand moved to the
back of my head as he did not pull away. New sensations rippled through
my body, leaving me nothing but to accept his fondness. I pulled away
to get my breath, seeing him smiling back at me, his face flush and
red.
"Those guys did not know what they were missing Kathy!"
"Me neither I guess!"
"I have to get home Kathy, can I call you again?"
"Of course!"
He kissed me goodbye and left for home. As I began to sort through
those odd items I had to put away, it hit me that I had not pulled
away, or tried to stop Ethan from kissing me! I was both confused and
elated at my reaction; why did I like it so much? That was the
question. I did not think I was Gay, nor did I ever feel anything
towards guys before, so why was I so excited that Ethan had kissed me?
The fact that he had caused me to tingle all over gave me no answer as
to why I reacted that way, because other than my mom, I had never
kissed anyone, not even a girl! That meant that I had no way to say it
was him, or could be caused by anyone else. I went to bed late that
night, falling into a deep sleep in moments. When I woke up I felt like
a new person; no dismay, no doubts, and no fears. It was as if I were
struck by a bolt of lightening, and I realized that I did not want to
go back to being a guy! The minute I stepped out of the shower, I knew
what I was going to wear to work, and began to set out my clothes.
The high cut panties with a shelf bra, my pleated gray miniskirt, with
a pink shell, pantyhose and my black heels. I brushed out my hair and
put on my makeup, adding mascara and eyeliner along with some blusher
before I put on my earrings and a small pendant necklace. When I was
ready, I left for work, knowing full well that I could not return to
being a guy... ever. The revelation came to me during the night. How I
looked, Ethan's response to the way I looked, my job, and my own
realization that Cheryl had been right. There was nothing wrong in
becoming a girl. Besides that, I had come to like the way I looked. A
skirt that had a hem four inches above your knees will do that to you.
I walked in the front door and strolled across the room, drawing a
whistle from Nancy as I went into my office and set about my job. I was
deep into the tax code, trying to find a way to deduct certain things
when Marcie walked in.
"Well! Look at you! Little miss wonderful has finally awakened!"
"I just felt like dressing a bit more...."
"You've got the look of a girl that got laid last night!"
"I didn't... he...."
"He?"
"Ethan. He helped me move in yesterday."
"What else did he help you with?"
"He's just a friend Marcie!"
"Yeah. And I'm the tooth fairy. He likes you Kathy, and you know it! So
why fight it? He's kind of cute, polite as hell, and he has a job; what
more could a girl want?"
"But..."
"Never mind. You'll get there sooner or later."
"Where?"
"The point when you stop saying to yourself that you're a guy, and
accept the fact that you're a girl and everything that goes with it!"
Grinning, she left, and I went back to work. I had almost completed the
conversion to the bookkeeping routine, merely fine tuning it for the
odd quirks that popped up. As I worked, I realized that I had been
living as a girl for a long time, long enough to become accustomed to
life as a female. But the day was coming when I would have to remove
the panty and breast forms so Carolyn could redo them. I had become so
used to them that I sincerely hoped that I would be able to keep them,
at least the panty anyway. All I could do was wait and see what
happened.
My mother called a few times, asking about Ethan, but I put her off by
telling her that he was just a friend. I'm positive that she didn't
believe me, but she didn't push it. Then she invited me over for
dinner. Since I did not trust David at all, I told her that Ethan would
be with me, and she agreed. At least David wouldn't get stupid with
Ethan there. I called Ethan, and he agreed to pick me up after work at
my place. Then I went back to fixing the odd problem in my data. I had
moved all of the cash registers and charge card readers to the network
so that every transaction would be automatically recorded, omitting the
need to manually input that data, decreasing the likelihood of a
mistake. That alone raised the income 2 percent! Cheryl was so pleased
that she told me that the money she advanced me for the condo would be
my bonus! Then....
"Kathy, could you come in here please?" I went into Cheryl's office.
"Sit down please. I want to talk to you about your future." She sat
back in her chair.... "Your work is absolutely first class Katherine,
and I want you to know that you have a job here for as long as you want
it. In fact, I'm so pleased that I'm raising your salary to 3 grand a
month, starting today. I also want to talk about the long term. You
have made every effort to fit in here, and have managed to become so
feminine that it's hard to believe that you are not a female, which is
why I'm going to suggest something. I want you to think about taking a
more positive approach to being a young woman. I want you to think
about starting on hormones. By taking them you will develop a naturally
rounded body. Your hips, bottom, and breasts will all fill out, and
you'll eliminate the need to go through the waxing to remove your body
hair." I started to say something, but.... "Kathy, you are a pretty
girl, and eventually you'll meet someone, a guy that adores you, and
you, like the rest of us girls, will want to please him. Having a more
feminine body will go a long way towards letting you enjoy the true
experience of being a woman. The choice is yours of course, but Dr.
Smith has told me that he will help you along those lines. Let me know
what you decide?"
I can't say that I was shocked, I had already looked into it on the
internet, but I was always afraid to make that kind of commitment. It
would definitely put any remaining maleness I had behind me! Cheryl
just sat there watching me as I tried to gather the courage to make the
appointment.
"Let me put it this way honey," Cheryl said, "you and I both know there
isn't any way that you can return to being a guy; you have come to far,
and you enjoy being a girl to much for that, so why not become the girl
everyone sees?"
"Okay," I said softly, sealing my future. "But don't say anything to
anyone, especially my mother... okay?"
"It'll be our secret Katherine. Dr. Smith will be here on Tuesday. I'll
set up an appointment. By the way, the lawyer dropped these off this
morning. Take some time and get a new drivers license."
As I walked back to my office I was surprised that I felt relieved in a
way. All doubts about my future were finally settled. I had agreed to
start taking hormones in order to develop the body of a girl, the first
step in removing all traces of manhood. I wasn't scared or even
worried. I was, in a word, terrified yet relieved. I guess I knew in my
heart that I could not go backwards. It was not the job, it was
everything else. My friends, Ethan, myself, and even my own mother all
saw me as a girl. Even my name had been legally changed! Katherine
Elizabeth the papers said. The change was done. I was a female.
I got a new drivers license that afternoon, then went home to change.
For some reason I was eager to flaunt my decision without actually
saying it, so I carefully selected what I was going to wear to dinner.
I wanted everyone to know that I was not just a girl, but a woman with
goals. I started with a long soak in the tub, then began to get ready.
Even though nobody would see them, I wore lacy black panties with a
black bra and garterbelt. Once I had the hose on, I sat at the vanity
to do my hair and makeup. Brushing it out, I let my hair fall to my
shoulders, using a small black and gold barrette to hold it away from
my ears. Light foundation, then gray and blue eye shadow, accented with
deep black eyeliner and mascara. A soft rose blusher to highlight my
cheeks and I was ready for the dress.
I had bought it on a whim at one of our shops. It was a sleeveless
sheath dress, low cut in front and back, about three inches above my
knees, and fit me like a coat of paint, accenting my curves perfectly.
Once I had it zipped up I stepped into my black heels and put in the
small gold hoop earrings. With the addition of candy red lipstick and
some perfume, I was ready. If I did not make an impression in that
outfit, I never would! I stood staring at the reflection I cast in the
mirror, and could not help but smile. I was ready.
Ethan showed upright on time, and by the look on his face, I had
succeeded. His eyes, as well as his face, smiled at me. After a quick
hug, we left for the restaurant. I was holding his hand when we walked
in. I saw mom waving at us, and we made our way to the table. My
mothers eyes went wide just before she smiled at me. David however,
once again made me feel dirty with the way he looked at me.
"You look spectacular Kathy! And that dress! Wow!"
"Thanks mom. You know Ethan?"
"Yes, we've met. Ethan, this is David."
Ethan did not shake his hand; I could sense Ethan tensing up when David
started asking me some questions that I thought were inappropriate. I
did not answer any of them. All he managed to do was reinforce the idea
that he was creepy. I squeezed Ethan's hand, and he calmly told mom and
David that he and I were going to the balcony to see the lake. Once we
stood up, he slipped his arm around my waist and led me away from the
table.
"That guy... he looks at you like he wants to...."
"Thanks for getting me out of there Ethan."
"Kathy... I uh... um... I want you to have this."
"This", was a small gold ring with a modest sapphire set into it.
"Ethan! What is this? Are you asking me to marry you?!"
"It's a friendship ring Kathy. I thought that my class ring might not
be.... suitable. Will you take it?"
"Yes! Of course I'll take it!"
I was excited that he even considered me that way, even after such a
short time. Then came the other shoe.
"I was called up today Kathy. I have to report in ten days."
"Called up?"
"I joined the Navy in high school, then NROTC. I'll be one of the
newest ensigns in the Navy."
"Ten days? That's not very long..."
"Long enough for me to give you this ring and ask you to wait for me."
How could he do that to me I wondered, both elated and crushed at the
same time. Ethan was one of the good ones, and while I had previously
held onto my doubts, I had set them aside, ready to explore what being
a woman was all about, then he goes in the Navy! Still, I rushed into
his arms and kissed him, hard and long, letting his tongue into my
mouth as we held each other, stepping over another threshold.
"I'll wait," I said softly into his ear, 'but don't you dare get hurt!"
"I won't get hurt honey, I'm a missile control officer! I'll be at
sea!"
"We should go back to the table Ethan."
I slipped the ring on my finger and took his hand as we walked back. As
we ate dinner, Ethan casually mentioned that he and I were sort of
engaged, and I showed them the ring. David just sat there, while mom's
eyes went wide; no smile that time. Just about the time dessert was
served mom motioned towards the ladies room, and I joined her.
"Engaged!? How? You're not a female! You can't do what he expects!"
"Not true mother. I can do anything you can do! Besides, I have legally
changed my name, and I have no plans on going back to what I was!"
"Just what does that mean? Anything I can do?"
"Mother, I'm having periods, remember? So yes, anything."
"I hope you know what you're doing honey."
"David is a creep mother. The way he looks at me... even Ethan noticed
it! I wouldn't trust him very far if I were you, no matter how much you
think you need him, there are some nice guys out there!"
"I can handle David. Are you sleeping with Ethan?"
"No, if it is any of your business, but I'm considering it!"
"I suppose you know what you're doing, just be careful."
"Just keep David away from me mother. I don't like, or trust him."
Ethan and I left right after dessert. On the way back to my place I had
to decide if I would commit the sin of loving him the way a woman just
"sort of engaged," would. By the time I had opened the door I knew the
answer. I could, so I would. It would answer many of my questions about
my transition. Once the door was closed and locked...
"Kathy, you are the most beautiful woman in the world!"
I was thrilled that he thought that, but also, I was a bit scared.
Ethan was standing there in front of me, then his arms surrounded me,
and as he blew in my ear, I felt his hands beginning to roam all over
my body. Then came the deft movement as he tried to unclip my bra!
"none of that," I said softly. For a shy guy, he certainly knew what to
do! His kissing was driving me into a heightened state of lust, yet
while I was eager to try what he wanted, I was also scared. I wanted to
drag him into the bedroom and let him just take me, but I was afraid
that he would realize that it was all latex and gel.
Anxious at the very thought that I would, or even wanted, to serve him
made me quiver. Each moment was one of discovery; how he made me feel,
the smell of him, the touch of his lips against mine. His hands were
all over me, cupping my breasts, fondling my bottom, touching my hair,
all of which turned me on even more, and even though I truly wanted to
shove him to the couch and please him, I resisted. The ugly specter of
getting naked, then being found out was more than I could bear. Then he
put my hand on it. I could tell that he was rock hard and ready for me
to give it some attention, so I began to stroke it. In what seemed like
seconds, he started moaning, and began to try and remove his pants and
briefs so he could let it jut out proudly.
I stopped him, but by then it was to late. I had to do something to
please him, so, I wrapped my hand around his naked member and began to
manipulate him. Ethan started to buck up and down, then in a sudden
spasm of release, he collapsed. Later, as he lay back smiling, I went
in the kitchen to get a soda. While I never thought that I would ever
do that, give a guy a hand job, I cannot say it was unpleasant, and it
proved to me that I was more than ready to be the woman I appeared to
be. I did not feel any remorse, only joy that Ethan had selected me to
be his special friend. Velvet over steel. That's what it felt like. We
kissed and snuggled a bit more, then he fell asleep right there on the
couch! I'll admit that I spent almost the entire night just watching
him, stroking him and kissing him softly. I was in heaven, just knowing
that like so many girls my age, I had a guy of my own. In the morning I
woke him up with nudge and a smile; then I started kissing him softly.
He seemed to like that.
After showers we each went to work. My inability to remove my clothes
and sleep with Ethan was in direct proportion to my doubts. I wanted to
sleep with him, to feel him inside of me, to experience the joy of
making a man happy, yet even though I knew that I would forever be a
woman, I still retained a bit of the old me. The one that had never
once considered "helping," another guy reach enjoyment. My transition,
from the beginning had all been about the work, the money, and our
debts; but just a bit more than six months later, all that had changed.
Each passing day had moved me closer to being a female, and at every
step I had agreed to the changes. Now, I had pleasured Ethan with my
hand, and found myself anticipating what would come next.
That was the frame of mind I was in when I went to see Dr. Smith, eager
to begin the hormone treatments. I wanted to feel Ethan's hand on my
breast. I wanted to enjoy it when his lips began to suckle, and I
wanted to feel his hand on my naked bottom. I wanted to be a complete
woman. He did prescribe the hormones, and I took one right then and
there. My commitment had taken it's first turn towards becoming the
woman everyone thought I was.
At lunch, as I walked towards the deli to get a sandwich, David stepped
out of a doorway, stopping me.
"You don't like me do you?"
"No. I think that you're a pig."
"That's okay Kathy, I don't like you either. You're a stuck up bitch as
far as I'm concerned. You make more money than your mother ever did,
and you flaunt that cute body of yours every chance you get!"
"Just stay away from me David."
"Your boyfriend isn't here to protect you now, it's just you and I...
and my car. Get in the car Kathy!"
"Go to hell!"
With that, he grabbed my arm and began dragging me towards the car, but
I started screaming, as loud as I could. He tried to shut me up by
slapping me, and he did manage to hit me once, then a mountain came out
of the shoe store. Almost seven foot tall, and three feet wide, he
grabbed David by the shirt, and with one yank, easily pulled him away
from me.
"This asshole bothering you lady?"
"He hit me," I said while holding a hand to my face. "He tried to drag
me into his car!"
The mountain looked down at David, who was cowering. "So! You're one of
those guys! I don't like guys like you. In fact, I hate guys that try
to molest girls!," With that, the mountain gave David a slap across the
face with the back of his hand, dropping David to the ground. "You
o