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Tyler tried not to squirm as he headed home from school on the chilly January morning, even though he knew what was waiting for him when he got there. It had been no ordinary Tuesday at school- then again, few days were 'ordinary' for the sixteen year old boy. Tyler had been born on the third of January 1993, the third child of his parents. His oldest brother, Lincoln, had been the envy of everyone at his school- a running back for the successful school football team, who dated and ultimately married the captain of the cheerleading squad. His second oldest brother, Harrison, had been on the school wrestling team and won many competitions- and had also dated and was engaged to the captain of the cheerleading squad from his school year. Both of the boys were lauded by their father as 'real men', successful sportsmen who earned an honest living working for the same truck dealership that he did. Tyler, on the other hand, didn't get that same praise from his father. Tyler might not have been as tall or as strong as his brothers- though at 5' 10", he stood above average height for his age- and it's not that he wasn't athletic, winning medals for the school's swim team. Where Tyler failed to measure up in his father's eyes was that he wasn't as 'overtly' masculine as his brothers, not asserting himself, not engaging in the outdoor activities his brothers loved like fishing, hunting and shooting and not following the sports they loved like Football or NASCAR. Whilst Tyler didn't like the ridicule he faced from his father and his brothers, he endured it and kept his feelings bottled up, as he knew that he could never reveal the real reason for his 'different' behaviour- that all his life, he'd longed to be a girl. Every time Tyler went to swim practice and pulled on his speedo, he would envy the girls in the other locker room, stretching their clingy one-piece suits over their bodies. He'd envy them at the end of practice as they dried their long hair, put their jewellery back on, reapplied their make-up, changed back into the skirts or shorts they wore to the pool... Tyler had on very rare occasions secretly worn some of his mother's dresses, but only for minutes at a time, such was his fear of being discovered even when he knew he was completely alone in the house. Tyler occasionally wondered what would happen if his family ever found out about his secret, but those thoughts never ended with him being accepted by his family. Occasionally, they ended with him not even being alive anymore. He knew his father would never accept him, nor would his brothers, and his mother would blindly follow along with the other men of the family. However, Tyler held out hope that his younger sister Monroe, who was three years younger than him and very headstrong, would at least offer some sympathy. However, if Tyler was to get sympathy and acceptance from his family, it would certainly not be on that particular cold Tuesday. This was because the date was the 20th of January 2009, and 630 miles north-east of his hometown, an event had taken place that made many Americans excited- and many others, such as his family, furious. Earlier that day, Tyler and the rest of his class had watched intently at the events that were taking place on the screen in front of them. "I, Barack Hussein Obama," the tall, dark-skinned man had said, "do solemnly swear that I will execute the office of president of the United States faithfully, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the constitution of the United States. So help me God." Tyler knew he was witnessing history. He suspected that life in America was about to change. But his life would not change for the better. Even before he reached the front door of his modest family home, Tyler could hear the yelling coming from within. "...Going to shit!" the angry voice of Tyler's father yelled. "This whole country's going to down the crapper the next four years, you mark my words!" How, exactly? Tyler thought to himself, knowing better than to voice his question, especially when he saw who was sat on the opposite side of the room. "You said it, son," the gruff voice of Tyler's father's father snarled. "I never thought I'd live to see the day they let someone like THAT into the White House! What next, a queer president? A Mexican president?" "Don't get yourself too worked up, Bill," Tyler's mother said in a soothing voice as she handed the nearly 80 year old man a glass of whiskey. "'Worked up'?" Tyler's grandfather spat. "We'll see how 'worked up' you get when that nig-" "Grandpa," Harrison said nervously, gesturing with his eyes toward the corner of the room where the youngest member of the Cope family was sat with a nervous look on her 12 year old face. "...It's her I'm most worried about," Tyler's grandfather grumbled as he drank his whiskey and let out a long, angry growl. "You know what these goddamn Muslims are like..." As the men of the family offered their criticism of their country's new commander-in-chief, Tyler sat back and tried to drown out the noise. It didn't matter to him whether the president was Obama or McCain- from his limited perspective, nothing would change. He would still be trapped in a body that didn't belong to him, he'd still wear the same drab, male jeans and sweaters to school, and he'd still be surrounded by a family that would never accept him even if he was ever able to become the woman he longed to be. In the months following the inauguration, life in the Cope household slowly returned to normal, as Tyler knew it inevitably would. His father and brothers returned to their work, he and his sister returned to their schoolwork and the goings-on in Washington felt further and further away with every passing day. However, that didn't stop Tyler's life from feeling increasingly stressful, especially as he started to be less of a boy, and more of a man- something his family, particularly his father, was quick to pick up on. "Put it into drive," Tyler's father said calmly as the nervous teenager gripped the steering wheel with his left hand and tentatively shifted the gear lever with his other. "Stop being so goddamn delicate with it, it's not going to bite you!" "S- sorry," Tyler replied. "I get that you're nervous," Tyler's father said. "But you ain't gonna get anywhere in life if you don't know how to drive a car! Now, slowly push down on the gas, just enough to get us moving." Tyler took a deep breath as he pushed down on the accelerator pedal, letting out a gentle yelp as the car slowly moved forward. "That's it," the older man said encouragingly. "Now, just a little more pressure, so we're not crawling along like a goddamn old woman..." Tyler applied more pressure to the pedal, chuckling as the car increased its speed, and his father nodded approvingly. "Is this- is it fast enough?" Tyler asked. "For now," Mr. Cope replied. "No need to go speeding off like some lunatic but you need to learn to drive to the limit, which is 30 miles per hour, not 13. We'll get you up to speed the next couple of lessons, first you just need to get used to handling the car." "Did it take Lincoln and Harrison long to get the hang of it?" Tyler asked. "Don't worry about them," Tyler's father advised. "Just learn to drive at your own rate, in your own time." "O-okay," Tyler replied, though he knew deep down that his father's wish for him to be his own person was not sincere- as was proved when they returned to the driveway and the older man immediately reached over to pop open the hood of the car. Tyler internally groaned- this was a part of the lesson he'd been desperate to avoid. "Okay," Tyler's father said as he leaned over the engine bay. "This is a bit different from the trucks you'll be working on when you start work at the dealership, but the basic stuff's the same so it's a good place to start." Tyler's heart sank as he exited the car and walked around to where his father was stood. It had been made clear to Tyler from a young age that he would work at the same place his father did when he grew up, just as his brothers had done when they'd left high school. Tyler had tried to protest that he didn't want to be a mechanic on many occasions when he was younger, but he had quickly learned that any such protests were futile- he was going to be a mechanic and that was that, and this was lesson number one. Forty-five minutes later, it was all Tyler could do not to sprint into the kitchen to wash off the grease, oil and dirt that had accumulated on his hands and underneath his fingernails throughout his 'lesson'. More than anything, Tyler hated being dirty, especially when it came to his hands. His father and brothers had gone through their lives with perpetually grimy hands, both from their work and their outdoor hobbies, and with every speck of dirt that landed on Tyler's hands, he felt himself sliding further and further away from his dreams of being a woman- and closer and closer to the nightmare of being a man just like his brothers. "Better get used to it now, your hands are gonna get a LOT dirtier than that when you start work!" Tyler's father scoffed as his son plunged his hands into a sink full of hot, soapy water. "So stop acting like a goddamn woman, for Christ's sake!" "...Sorry, dad," Tyler mumbled, removing his still-dirty hands from the water and heading upstairs to his bedroom, where he let out a long, pained sigh. As he laid on his bed, trying not to touch anything in his bedroom with his dirty hands, Tyler thought about the girls in his class and how they'd also have started to learn to drive, the only difference being that they wouldn't be expected to learn how to take an engine apart and put it back together, and they could object to getting their hands dirty without worrying about being disowned by their families. And, most importantly, they could live their lives as women, they could go to school wearing skirts and make-up and daydream about kissing boys, and no one would bat an eyelid. Whereas if Tyler did even a tiny fraction of that... Several weeks (and several lessons from his father) later, Tyler passed his driving test on his first attempt, and eventually the summer holidays rolled around at the end of June. However, unlike his classmates, who were all eager to make the most of their new-found freedom (and driving licences), Tyler was dreading the summer holidays, and it took a mere three days from the start of the summer break for his fears to be realised. "Welcome to your new home, son!" Tyler's father said, giving his youngest son a pat on the back as he led him into the loud, busy garage. Tyler forced a smile on his face as he stared down at the loose, drab overalls that were covering his skinny body. If he closed his eyes, he could picture his body being covered by a bikini, or a loose summer dress, or a short, tight skirt and a crop top... But every time he opened his eyes, he was forced back to reality, and he knew that the overalls were just the tip of the iceberg. "Didn't realise we were hiring sissies now," a familiar voice snorted from the back of the garage, a voice that made Tyler bristle. "Harrison, don't talk about your brother like that," the boys' father chastised. "Any Cope who picks up a wrench and gets their hands dirty is a man in my eyes, and yours too!" Whether I like it or not, Tyler thought to himself. "Oh come on, pa," Lincoln moaned as he wiped his hands on an oily rag, before tossing it to his youngest brother and grimacing as Tyler flinched. "...Seriously?" "You two were just as green your first days," Tyler's father said, taking a deep breath to calm himself- and Tyler was sure that it was he, and not his brothers, that was the source of their father's frustration, just as he'd always been. Tyler's relationship with his brother's had been much like it was with his father, with one notable difference- Tyler's father took his parental responsibilities seriously, while his brothers felt no sense of responsibility toward the young man whatsoever. For all his young life, Tyler had been mercilessly teased by Lincoln and Harrison, had to endure their endless and often cruel practical jokes, and even suffered the occasional beating at their hands, all under the pretense of 'toughening him up', trying to make him into the 'real men' that they were. Tyler never complained to his parents- his father would simply side with his brothers and encourage the torment, while his mother would defer to her husband, leaving Tyler right back at square one- alongside two tall, muscular men who thought nothing of using him for football or wrestling practice. And as Lincoln's throwing of the rag had shown, Tyler wouldn't even be able to escape from the same treatment in what he'd assumed would be a professional environment. "What next, we gonna expect Monroe to start here in a few years?" Lincoln snorted. "No you ain't, and you know why!" The frustrated patriarch snarled. "Now get your brother settled in here, he's gonna be here a long time!" Tyler could tell from the looks on his brother's faces that neither of them were thrilled by the prospect- though their reluctance paled in comparison to the dread that Tyler felt as he entered the workplace's break room. It was a room he was familiar with from his previous, mercifully brief visits to the dealership with his father and his brothers, and every time he set foot inside the room, it was like he lost a part of his soul. The first thing Tyler always noticed about the room was the smell- the unmistakable cocktail of engine oil, body odour and tobacco, which felt like acid against Tyler's young skin. Piles of hunting and used car magazines littered the two tables, while the small radio seemed to be perpetually tuned to the local sports station- though that at least drowned out the noise of the other men's conversations, the topics of which rotated between sport, vehicles and their sexual conquests with absolutely no deviation. Tyler braced himself for the inevitable questions about himself, his life and his sports preferences that he would be obliged to (untruthfully) answer, when the unexpected happened- and suddenly, the room didn't seem so bad to the sixteen year old boy. "Jack!" Lincoln yelled, attracting the attention of a young man who looked no older than eighteen himself. "Get your butt here! This is Tyler, my little 'brother'. He's new here, so he needs someone to show him the ropes, and that ain't gonna be me." "Hi," Jack said, extending his hand for Tyler to shake and nearly making the young man's knees buckle. Jack was quite unlike the rough, grizzled men that usually inhabited the room- while tall and muscular, he clearly took care with his appearance- his short brown hair was styled rather than the crew cuts or straggly messes of the other employees, his face was clean shaven and he actually appeared to be wearing deodorant, the smell of which filled Tyler's nostrils and made his heart beat faster. "H- hi," Tyler said nervously, giving the young man a loose handshake that made his older brother snort derisively. "Jesus, you call that a fuckin' handshake," Lincoln scoffed before heading back out to the work area and leaving the two young men alone in the room, which was quickly filled with an awkward silence. "So..." Jack said, smirking at Tyler's continued attention. "You- you're the boss's son, then?" "Yep!" Tyler said, barely suppressing a breathless giggle. "Well, third son, I'm guessing you know Lincoln and Harrison?" "...Yeah," Jack said with a derisive snort that forced a giggle out of Tyler's mouth. "They like- well, THAT at home too?" "Ugh, all the time," Tyler dramatically sighed. "Lincoln probably more 'cause he's the oldest, you know. You got any brothers?" "Nah," Jack replied. "Two little sisters, though, and trust me, they can be almost as bad!" "Doubt it," Tyler sighed, unconsciously pouting at the young man. "Well- umm, yeah..." Jack chuckled, trying not to blush at Tyler's pout. "Anyway, I'm- I'm supposed to be showing you round, heh..." "I'm in no rush," Tyler chuckled. "Dunno if you can tell, but I ain't exactly thrilled to be here." "I could kinda tell," Jack chuckled. "Pressure from the old man?" "'Pressure' doesn't even begin to describe it," Tyler snorted. "Pa decided I'd be working here from the day I was born." "It ain't all bad," Jack shrugged, escorting Tyler toward the door. "And some of the folk here are friendly enough." "Yeah," Tyler said, biting his lip as he tried to read the signals Jack was giving off- or whether or not he was giving off any signals at all. Tyler knew that as bad as his life was, if he followed his instincts, it could get infinitely worse very quickly. But it wasn't going to get any better if he did nothing at all... Tyler took a deep breath, leaned into Jack as he went to open the door, and gave him a kiss on his lips. A short, soft, gentle kiss that stunned the older boy into silence. As Tyler broke the kiss and saw the surprise in Jack's eyes, a million worst case scenarios played in his mind. Jack could assault him for even daring to threaten his masculinity. Or worse, he could tell his brothers, and the beating would get even harsher. Or he could tell his father. Or Jack's father. Or his grandfather. Or the kids at school, ensuring that Tyler took a beating every day for the rest of his time at school. Or every day for the rest of his life... What Jack did next, however, surprised Tyler almost as much as his kiss had surprised Jack. Jack kissed Tyler back. "Oh- uh-" Tyler gasped as Jack broke the kiss, both boys' cheeks having turned a deep shade of red. "...Yeah, that's another thing about me," Jack said, biting his lip and giggling. "I mean, I saw you, and I didn't want to assume-" "So you let me do the assuming?" Tyler asked, before giggling himself. "It's okay, ho- honey, hehe!" "Dad's always on at me to find a girlfriend, god knows what he'd do if he found out," Jack sighed. "Yeah, I know the feeling there too," Tyler chuckled. "But your secret's safe with me!" "Same here," Jack said softly. "Though you- you might want to sit down before you go out there, hehe!" Tyler blushed and giggled as he stared down at his overalls, and the telltale bulge in the front- though it was the bulge in Jack's overalls that interested Tyler more. "Maybe working here won't be SO bad after all..." Tyler mused aloud. Over the next few weekends, Tyler went into his job with a smile on his face, not because of the work, but because he knew Jack would be there. Every day that Tyler worked at the dealership, he would find a way to be alone with Jack, which always ended in a make-out session. During the sixth weekend they worked together, Tyler and Jack made love for the first time in the staff bathroom. The lovemaking was hurried and lacking in romance, but that didn't matter to Tyler. All that mattered was that he and Jack had expressed their love to each other in the most intimate way possible. And yet, every time the two young men made love, or kissed, or even spent time together, Tyler felt guilty. He had shared his body with Jack, and shared many of his most intimate thoughts, but there was one secret that he didn't dare tell his boyfriend, and as the months wore on, the stress of keeping the secret began to show on Tyler's young face. "Hey," Jack said as Tyler entered the break room and, after checking to make sure they were alone, greeted the young man with a long kiss on his lips. "Hey yourself," Tyler replied with a grin, before sighing. "Is it just me, or does this time, you know, in here, get shorter and shorter every week?" "I know what you mean," Jack sighed. "Sometimes I just wish we could, you know, sit down and talk and not have to worry about anyone walking in on us. We don't even have to be, you know, physical, just having the chance to talk... That'd be a dream." "You don't know how right you are," Tyler sighed as he gave his boyfriend another gentle kiss. "There's so much I just want to, umm, say to you, so much I've wanted to say for a long time..." "I know," Jack sighed, making Tyler momentarily panic as he wondered just how Jack would know about his secret- before his rational mind concluded that there was no way Jack could know. "You don't know," Tyler whispered. "I wish you did, but- but you really, really don't." "T- Tyler?" Jack asked softly. "What- what are you saying? Is- is there something I should know?" "I-" Tyler said, before feeling his vocal chords seize. As much as he desperately wanted to tell Jack his secret, his fear overwhelmed him. Secretly being a gay man was one thing. But secretly being a woman? That was something else entirely. As much as Tyler knew Jack liked him, there was no guarantee that the older boy would accept him as 'her'. From Tyler's perspective, Jack thought he had a clandestine boyfriend. What Tyler wanted to say would completely shatter that view. "Tyler, come on, you know you can tell me anything," Jack said, gently stroking the younger boy's cheek. "Anything. I promise." "I- I want to be a woman," Tyler mumbled in a voice Jack could barely even hear, let alone understand. "I- I'm sorry?" Jack asked. "I said-" Tyler hissed, before frowning and feeling his entire body tense up. "I- I wish I was a girl. I'm sorry..." Tyler felt his heart race as Jack paused to process the information he'd just received. "...Why are you sorry?" Jack asked with a warm smile on his face. "Well, because- umm..." Tyler stammered. "Because...?" Jack asked in a teasing voice. "Did- did you think I'd be offended? Or that I'd, I dunno, kick your ass or something?" "Something like that," Tyler mumbled. "Ty, look at me," Jack said, gently taking the younger man's head in his hands. "I'm a gay man in a very, VERY heterosexual world. I know what it's like to not fit in, trust me." "But- but would you, you know, be a gay guy if I, umm, started being, you know, girly?" Tyler asked. "Only one way to find out," Jack shrugged. "Yeah, like THAT's an option," Tyler snorted, before hastily jumping back from his secret boyfriend as the break room door opened and the younger of his two older brothers walked in. "...You ever gonna do any damned work here?" Harrison snorted as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, before leaving the two teenagers in peace. "Okay, point taken," Jack sighed. "But- but there's got to be something you can do, right?" "I wish," Tyler sighed. "I really, really do. I told you I'm on the school swim team, right?" "Yeah," Jack replied. "I get to wear my speedos to the pool, the girls get to wear their skin-tight one-pieces," Tyler explained. "And I hate it. All of it." "So quit the team, then," Jack shrugged, chuckling as Tyler gave him a playful shove. "That ain't gonna solve the REAL problem," Tyler sighed. "But it's okay, I guess." "If you say so," Jack said softly. "But you never know, I mean, it's Christmas in a few weeks, your birthday a few days after... Figure you're due a Christmas miracle, right?" "I stopped believing in Santa a long time ago," Tyler sighed as he and Jack left the break room and headed to work. On Christmas Day 2009, Tyler opened his presents and found them to be nearly identical to the presents he had received in 2008. He received clothes- boys' clothes, naturally- hunting and fishing books, auto repair manuals and Atlanta Falcons memorabilia. The following day, Tyler went into work, where, as always, he greeted Jack with a discreet kiss in the hope that it would help him out of his funk. However, it wasn't just Jack's kiss that awaited him on that particular Saturday. "Looks like Santa might be real after all," Jack said as he handed Tyler a brightly-coloured package that Tyler could instantly tell contained an item of clothing. "This had better not be a Braves jersey," Tyler joked. "All I'll say," Jack teased, "is that you might want to open that at home, when you're alone." Tyler did as he was told by his boyfriend, and later that night, opened the gift and almost wept at what was inside. There, in his hands, was a brand-new, plain blue one-piece swimsuit, identical to the ones worn by the girls on his swim team. It wasn't long before Tyler was living his dream and relishing the sensation of the clingy fabric as he stretched it over his slender frame- an action he would repeat many times over the next few months. Jack's gift helped to bring the secret couple even closer together throughout the first half of 2010, and as winter slowly changed into spring and eventually summer once again, Tyler found himself actually looking forward to the end of his junior year of high school so that he could spend more time at his father's dealership. He still hated the work, of course, as well as the atmosphere (both metaphorical and literal) within the place, and all of his co-workers too- all but one, who made the whole experience not just bearable but almost enjoyable. It was on a warm Saturday at the end of July, however, when all that would change. "Hey you," Jack said as Tyler entered the break room and, after checking to confirm they were alone, gave the young man a gentle kiss. "Didn't think I'd see you this weekend, thought you and your family were off on vacation?" "Ugh, we're heading out Monday," Tyler sighed. "...And I take it you're not exactly thrilled by the idea?" Jack asked with a smirk. "Heading to Orlando again for what must be the fifteenth year in a row," Tyler snorted. "They just opened the Harry Potter thing at Universal Studios and my sister's a big fan, so she asked to go there." "...Could be cool, I guess?" Jack shrugged. "Never read the books but I've seen the first couple of films." "Hmm," Tyler replied. "'Cept my dad calls Harry Potter 'gay and British', then corrects himself and says 'they're both the same thing', so we're going to Disney World again." "Meh, nothing wrong with Disney, I guess," Jack shrugged. "I guess," Tyler sighed. "'Cept we're sat next to the busiest airport in the whole world, and we only ever go to Florida. I want to see the world, you know? Hell, if everyone IS gay in England, I'll buy a one- way ticket when I can, heh." "Think your dad might be exaggerating a little there," Jack giggled. "Though I get what you mean about travelling. I've made it my life's goal to visit all 50 states, plus Puerto Rico and Guam, before I'm 30." "How far have you got?" Tyler asked. "Umm... Four," Jack replied with a giggle. "And yes, before you ask, the other three are South Caroline, Alabama and Florida." "Gotta start somewhere," Tyler shrugged. "How 'bout you?" Jack asked. "Where'd you REALLY like to go? Other than 'gay England', anyway?" Tyler bit his lip as he thought long and hard about his answer. "...Anywhere where I can be the person I feel like I truly am, deep down inside," the seventeen year old boy replied. "Anywhere I can be a woman and not face ridicule or anger from other people just because I can't be what others say I must be." "Think you might be waiting a while for that place to be real," Jack sighed. "Anywhere in the meantime?" "Eh, Paris, I guess," Tyler shrugged. "The most romantic city in the world?" Jack asked, grinning as his boyfriend giggled in reply. "Maybe we'll go together one day." "I'd love that," Tyler whispered. "Hell," Jack shrugged. "Maybe you can blow this place off, get a job as a stewardess and get paid to fly back and forth to Paris!" "I'd love that even more," Tyler giggled, leaning in to give Jack, a long, intimate kiss- so long and so intimate that both boys failed to notice the break room door opening. "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Harrison yelled, his face quickly turning red at the sight of the two young men's embrace. "Dad! Lincoln! Get in here!" Tyler felt himself freeze to the spot as his older brother approached, looming over him like an angry bear. Before he had time to react, he felt a ball of pain explode in his abdomen as his brother's fist hit home, sending him crashing to the floor as Harrison turned his attention to Jack, effortlessly pinning the young man to the wall with his strong arms. "What's all the goddamned yelling about?" Tyler's father snapped as he and his eldest son entered the break room. "...The fuck is this?" "I came in here and found these two little faggots kissing each other, that's what!" Harrison snarled. "What?" Mr. Cope snapped, before turning to his youngest son. "Is this true?" Tyler felt all resistance drain from his body as his father fixed him with the same angry stare he'd used all throughout his childhood. All Tyler could do was meekly nod, close his eyes and await the inevitable. "I should've known," Lincoln spat. "What do we do with this one, pa?" Tyler shivered as his father and brothers' anger turned toward his no longer secret boyfriend. "Consider yourself fired, you little queer," Mr. Cope spat in Jack's face. "I don't ever want to see you in this- no, scratch that, I don't ever want to see you in this TOWN again. Boys, take him outside and let him know why it'd be REAL bad idea to come back here." "With pleasure," Harrison growled as he and Lincoln frog marched Jack out of the room and out of Tyler's life. "As for you, you little fag," Tyler's father growled at his youngest son, who was still curled up in the foetal position on the floor. "Pick your ass up. We're going home. And if you want to still have a home to go to, you need to think real long and hard about what just happened!" The next few hours passed in a blur for Tyler. One by one, his family members returned to the house, first his brothers, whose bloodstained knuckles made Tyler feel physically sick, then his sister, his grandfather and even aunts and uncles that Tyler hadn't seen in years showed up to pass judgement on him. Tyler's father and grandfather would punctuate their anger with sharp whacks from the latter's cane, punishment that only intensified when Tyler's brothers ransacked his bedroom and discovered his Christmas gift from Jack. Tyler's punishment only ended when the family all went to bed, though Tyler was unable to get even a second of sleep that night as every worst case scenario played in his mind. He wondered whether or not he'd be able to return to school after the summer break, or whether or not he'd have a family, or a home- or even if he'd be alive after the summer... Eventually, the morning sun poked through Tyler's curtains, and before it rose high in the sky, his father entered the room uninvited and pulled the covers off of the young man's bed. "Get up," the older man said in a gruff voice that barely concealed his anger. "Get dressed. We're going to church." "I- umm, I don't feel like-" Tyler feebly whimpered. "After the embarrassment you caused me yesterday, do you think I give a SHIT what you feel like?" The young man's father hissed, his face mere inches from his son's. Tyler simply shook his head in response, and minutes later, the family, all dressed in their best clothes, drove in silence to their local Baptist church. All throughout the service, the family neither spoke about or even hinted at the events of the previous day, and when the congregation was dismissed, Tyler felt a sense of relief, hoping that maybe, just maybe, he could return home and get on with his life like nothing had happened. However, when he went to stand up and leave, he was roughly shoved back into his seat by his father, the older man's angry stare telling him in no uncertain terms that he was to remain seated until told otherwise. "Pastor?" Tyler's father called after the priest as he began to head back to his office. "Can we speak with you please? I private?" "Of course," the minister replied. A gesture from Tyler's father quickly brought the young man to his feet, and seconds later he was sat in front of the man of god trying not to shrink into his chair as his father filled him in on the events of the previous day. "I see," the pastor said, leaning back in his chair as he processed the information. "Tyler, is what your father says true?" "...Yes," Tyler meekly mumbled in reply. "Is- isn't there something we can do about this?" Tyler's father asked. "I figured you'd be the best person to ask, please- please tell me we're not the first family to have had this problem?" "Well, as I'm sure you're aware, it isn't illegal to be gay, or to dress up in women's clothing," the pastor said, momentarily lifting Tyler's spirits as he hoped that maybe, just maybe, the minister would take his side. "But what about, you know, the big guy?" Tyler's father asked. "Your boss?" "Well, Tyler has to find his own relationship with the lord," the pastor said, before his facial expression darkened, sending the young man sinking back into his chair. "But the bible is very clear about homosexuality AND pretending to be a woman when you're not. However, this isn't a situation that can't be fixed. You asked me earlier if you were the first family that this has happened to. Let me reassure you that you're not, and there is a place I know that can help Tyler with his problem." "What, you mean, cure him of being g- g-" Tyler's father said, stammering as he tried and failed to say the final word of his sentence. "It has had countless successes in the past," the pastor said with a reassuring smile. "I'm confident that if Tyler listens to the counsellors there and does as he's told, he'll be another one." "Well- well how soon can he go?" Tyler's father asked as his son's mind began to spin, terrified at the prospect of heading to an unfamiliar place where he could all but guarantee that everyone there would be judging him. "I can give them a call, see if there are any free spaces today?" The pastor asked, causing Tyler to start to hyperventilate. Sensing his son's distress, Tyler's father turned to him, making no effort to disguise the fury in his eyes. "If you ever want to come back home," Mr. Cope hissed, "you WILL go to this place, you WILL thank the pastor for trying to help you and you WILL be straight when you leave there. Am I clear?" Tyler meekly nodded as the pastor took his cellphone from his pocket and began speaking into it. Later that afternoon, after briefly stopping at home to pack a bag with clean clothes and underwear, Tyler tried not to fidget on the back seat of his father's car as he was driven to a small complex in the outskirts of Atlanta. Tyler remained silent as he and his father walked up to the front door, where they were met by a thin, well-dressed man in his early thirties. "Ah, you must be Tyler," the young man said. "My name's Graham Williams, I'm the manager of this facility. Please, come on in." "Thank you," Tyler's father replied in a gruff voice. "Will you be able to cure Tyler of this- this thing?" "That is what we do here," Graham replied in a calm, comforting voice. "And we have a very high success rate. In fact, just last month I was invited to the wedding of a boy who came here a few years ago, who wasn't much older than Tyler is now." "So how long will it take before Tyler's- well, normal?" Mr. Cope asked. "That depends on Tyler," Graham replied, making the young man shiver. "All I can say is it'll take as long as it takes, but we will do everything we can to help Tyler get back on the right path." "Well it'd better not take too long, given how much I'm paying for this," Mr. Cope growled as he placed Tyler's bags into the room that had been reserved for him. "I have your contact details," Graham said as he shook the older man's hand. "Feel free to call any time you need an update, our opening hours are in the brochure." "Oh don't worry, you'll be hearing from me soon," Tyler's father said, glaring at his son before leaving without even saying goodbye to the young boy. Tyler shivered again as Graham closed the door, before sitting down on the room's plain single bed and gesturing to Tyler to join him. "Umm... Hello," Tyler said nervously as he sat down next to the older man. "Hello, Tyler," Graham replied with a smile. "I know this must be scary for you, but trust me when I say we- by which I mean both the staff here and your family- only have your best interests in mind." "O- okay," Tyler replied. "First, I think it's fair that you know a little bit about me, before I know a bit more about you," Graham said. "I'm 36 years old, and for the last 12 years I've been helping confused young men and boys like you. For the 24 years before that... I was as confused as you are right now." "You- you mean you were-" Tyler asked. "I am ashamed to say that yes, I had some incorrect thoughts during my early years," Graham said quietly. "But that is a part of my past, where it belongs. Now, I only want to help people, people like you, Tyler." "O- okay," Tyler stammered as Graham fixed Tyler with a kind, almost loving gaze. "I can see you're still nervous," Graham said in a soft, soothing voice. "That's okay, it really is. Why don't you tell me a little about yourself? Take your time, I don't need to be anywhere else right now." "Well, umm," Tyler mumbled. "I'm, umm, seventeen, I- I've, umm, been in love with a boy for the last year-" "Ah," Graham interrupted gently. "I just need to correct you on how you said that, when you said you were 'in love'. Tell me, have you ever been in love before?" "Umm, well- no..." Tyler was forced to admit. "I thought not, but that's okay," Graham said, before smiling again. "I know, you probably think what you felt for this boy was 'love', like you've seen on TV or in movies, but answer me this question- in all those TV shows and movies, were any of those characters ever 'in love' with someone the same sex as them?" Tyler racked his brain, desperate for an example, but could only think of one. "...Brokeback Mountain?" Tyler replied. "Have you ever seen the film?" Graham asked, smiling as Tyler shook his head. "That's okay, you're not the first boy to come in here and try to use that as an example. Well, let me just say that that film doesn't end well for the two guys. Unless you count 'died young', 'divorced and estranged from family' or 'addicted to Mexican male prostitutes' a happy ending, 'cause I sure don't." "...Oh," Tyler replied. "Can you think of any same sex couples whose story ended happily?" Graham asked. "...No," Tyler was again forced to admit. "And there's a reason for that," Graham said. "Gays can't get married. Without marriage, the union can't be recognised by God, and without God, there isn't really any 'love'." "Umm, okay," Tyler replied. "I can see you're not convinced," Graham said with a chuckle. "But that's okay. Like I said to your father, you won't be cured overnight. But you WILL be cured, Tyler. I promise." Tyler bit his lip and nodded, before grimacing at the knowledge of how angry his father would be if he didn't mention the other reason for his stay at the facility. "There's, umm, something else," Tyler mumbled. "I- I like, umm, wearing women's clothing..." Tyler felt his whole body start to tremble as Graham nodded silently, carefully considering his response. "Okay," Graham replied. "How long have you had these feelings?" "As long as I can remember," Tyler replied. "I- I get jealous of the other girls, I want to be like them-" "Okay, just need to interrupt you again," Graham said softly. "When you said 'other' girls. Do you see any girls in the room with us?" "Well- no..." Tyler mumbled. "That was the right answer," Graham said with a smile. "I mean, sure, you can wear a dress, or even have surgery to make you look like a girl on the outside, but a boy is what God made you, and you can't change what you are on the inside. Have you done genetics in high school biology?" "Umm, a little," Tyler replied. "I- I know the difference between, you know, XX and XY..." "And that can't be changed by any medicine or surgery," Graham said. "Have you ever seen a film called 'Boys Don't Cry', which was released about ten years ago?" Graham waited for Tyler to shake his head before continuing. "That film was actually about a girl who thought she was a boy, but it still applies to your situation. She started a relationship with another girl, and when the rest of the town found out, she- the girl who thought she was a boy- was beaten to death by them." "Oh my god," Tyler whispered. "I know, right?" Graham said. "And the worst thing is, that film was based on a real life story. A story that's repeated far, far too often. I personally think that violence is never the answer, I say only God should be allowed to pass judgement, but the fact is that people who think they're the opposite sex and try to act like it more often than not face violence like that. Do you want to face violence like that, Tyler?" "No," Tyler said, shaking his head as fear began to grip his body. "I don't want that for you either," Graham said. "I want you to lead a happy, successful life. I want to be loved by your friends and family, and to have a family of your own that you love just as much. But that isn't going to happen unless you make some changes." Graham paused as his iPad beeped to inform him of a new message. "I think they're ready for us downstairs. Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone." "Umm, okay," Tyler said, his knees quivering as he stood up to follow the older man. Graham led Tyler downstairs to a large meeting room in which around a dozen boys were sat, all of whom appeared to be the same age as Tyler. What alarmed the young man the most, though, was the coffin that had been placed at the front of the room- and the fact that his photograph had been placed beside it. "Boys, I'd like you all to meet Tyler," Graham announced as he sat Tyler down in front of the coffin, facing the stares of the young men. "Hello, Tyler," the teenagers said in a monotone that unnerved the newcomer. "Tyler was born in January 1993," Graham announced. "But sadly passed away in early 2015 after years of living on the streets and fighting addiction." Tyler felt his whole body tense up as the young men all regarded him with judgemental stares. "I wish I could say that he has been passed into God's tender care, but the truth is, he rejected God and his teachings, and as such now faces eternal damnation, all because he made one wrong choice- he chose to be attracted to boys instead of girls." Tyler closed his eyes and tried not to show any emotion as the older man continued his 'eulogy'. "Tyler was born into a loving family," Graham said. "A loving mother and father, two older brothers who looked out for him and a younger sister who looked up to him. But at the age of sixteen, when boys should be focussing on school, or working up the courage to ask a girl to the prom, Tyler instead chose to be attracted to a young boy who worked with him. They concealed their relationship, which was the beginning of the end for Tyler. After the relationship inevitably ended, Tyler began seeking sexual encounters with any other gay men he could find, and soon became infected with HIV, gonorrhoea and many other sexually transmitted diseases. These men also introduced him to illegal drugs, his addiction to which caused him to lose his job, his home and his family, and at the far, far too young age of 22, his life. His rejection of his family, his rejection of God cost him his life and his soul." Tyler opened his eyes as Graham finished speaking, before tensing up again as the older man placed a hand on his shoulder. "Of course, none of this needs to happen," Graham said, flashing a reassuring smile at Tyler. "We are here to help Tyler turn back to God, back to his family and away from the life he has chosen, aren't we, boys?" "Yes we are," the young men replied as one. "So together, we will pledge to help Tyler," Graham announced. "Now as this is his first day here, he won't know the words to the pledge, so together, we will help him take this first step. Ready?" The boys all nodded, waiting for Graham's lead. "I pledge to turn away from evil, and toward God," Graham and the boys said as one, before staring at Tyler expectantly. Tyler felt himself squirm as prepared to repeat the words that had been said to him, before a memory suddenly flashed into his mind- a memory of a Saturday that he'd spent working with Jack, when they'd been able to talk freely. "There ain't nothing wrong with who or what we are, Tyler," Jack had said firmly. "Don't ever let anyone tell you any different, even if a million, a billion people say you're wrong, you promise me you'll always remember that you ain't wrong for being who you are, right?" "...Right," Tyler replied. "I- I promise." Back in the present day, Tyler tried to draw strength from his promise to his boyfriend, but his resolve began to falter. He could ignore what a billion strangers would say, but if even one of those billion strangers was his father, or his mother, or one of his sisters, it was another story. Tyler began to wonder whether or not he shouldn't just capitulate, surrender to Graham's teaching. His life would be easier in the long-term if he did- sure, it'd take his family a long time to trust him again, but they'd eventually come around, and he was sure he could learn to be attracted to women, to give up on his dream of ever living as a woman, or seeing the world, or travelling to Paris, or doing anything with his life other than being a grease monkey... "Promise me you'll always remember that you ain't wrong for being who you are," Jack's voice repeated in Tyler's mind. "Promise me you'll always remember. Promise me. Promise me." Tyler opened his eyes and looked into the faces of the expectant young men in front of him. "I promise," Tyler began, "to turn away from evil, and toward God." Tyler took a deep breath, before mentally adding the word 'suckers' to the end of his sentence. "...Close enough," Graham said, before leading the teenagers in the next line of the pledge. "I pledge that I will dedicate my time to getting better, and that I will help others along the path back to God." Tyler dutifully repeated the line, though with just as little sincerity as the first sentence. For the next three weeks, Tyler performed the tasks he was assigned to help him 'recover', though before every task, he remembered the promise he'd made to Jack. Even as he was forced to repeat prayers dozens of times in a row, as he was coerced into watching images of scantily-clad women, he remembered his promise. Even when he was fed food laced with ipecac and forced to vomit when showed a photograph of Jack, he remembered his promise. Tyler's promise even helped him to fool a polygraph test he was made to take before he could leave the complex, and mere hours afterward, he was being driven to the family home in the back of his father's car. "I hope my money hasn't gone to waste on this place?" Tyler's father asked as he drove his son back to their home. "If you ain't anything other than 100% straight now, I'm turnin' this car round and-" "I am fully cured," Tyler lied with a cold, confident smile. "Graham's set up weekly sessions for me on Skype, just to check in on me." "Good," Tyler's father said, before sighing. "It- it'll be good to have you back home, Tyler. Graham said it's important that you know that. I want all three of my sons under my roof again." And no mention of your daughter, Tyler thought to himself, mentally repeating his promise to Jack as his father continued talking. "Hell, now that you're cured, maybe you'll find a girlfriend before the summer's out?" "Maybe," Tyler replied with a chuckle that disguised his determination to follow through with his promise to Jack. "And don't worry about Jack," the young man's father said. "You'll never, EVER see him again." We'll see, Tyler thought to himself as he headed back home. Over the following months, Tyler played the part of the dutiful son, graduating from high school and going to work full-time for his father's dealership. He kept up his Skype appointments with Graham, but as they grew less and less frequent, he tried his hardest to block the memory of his time at the complex from his mind, convincing himself that it was just a bad dream. He dated girls, but never entered into any serious relationships and certainly never had sex with any girls. He saved up his money, and in the autumn of 2014, without any warning, he bought a one-way ticket to Paris to attend a job interview he'd secured for himself after his final meeting with Jack had become stuck in his mind, and after he'd read an article on the internet about an airline who had been forced to employ transgendered stewardesses by EU regulations. Emboldened by his promise to Jack, Tyler made the announcement to his family in the minutes before his taxi arrived to take him to the airport, knowing full well that he would need a quick exit. "If you do this," Tyler's father hissed angrily while his mother said a silent prayer, "you will never, NEVER be welcome in this house again!" "That's fine with me," Tyler spat back. "Because I never was in the first place." Without looking back, Tyler took his bags out to the waiting taxi, and before long, he was on a plane heading eastward to his new life in Europe. First, though, he had to deal with the small matter of his interview. "Your qualifications are certainly adequate, Monsieur Cope," the interviewer, an older man named Robert Marotte, said in his refined Parisian accent. "But we have many applicants to be a stewardess with Soixante-Trois Airlines. What can you bring that they cannot?" Tyler took a deep breath before answering, his promise to Jack still fresh in his mind over four years after it was made. "I'm from the south," Tyler explained. "And if there's one thing we know about, it's hospitality. Ain't nowhere in the world more friendly." Or at least, that's the way it should be, Tyler thought sadly to himself. "I'm guessing you don't have many stewardesses from the south working for you?" "We had an American girl in our last intake in August," M Marotte explained. "I think she was from the south, a city called Baltimore, I believe?" Despite himself, Tyler was forced to let out a quiet chuckle. "Trust me, Baltimore ain't the south," Tyler replied. "Well, 'southern belle' or not, I'm sure the two of you will become friends," M Marotte said as he extended a hand for Tyler to shake, a hand Tyler graciously accepted. "I would like to formally extend an offer of employment with Soixante-Trois Airlines, monsieur- or should I say, mademoiselle Cope. Though that does raise one final question- what name shall I put on your contract of employment?" Tyler bit his lip, before smiling at the 'southern belle' comment the interviewer had said. "Call me Annabelle, honey," the new hire said with a confident smile as she remembered her promise to Jack- and swore that she would do everything within her power to become the woman she always dreamed of being.