The Punishment, Chapters 19 - 23 free porn video

THE PUNISHMENT A man is unjustly accused of rape. His trial ends in a hung jury. To correct this "miscarriage of justice," a coven of witches punishes him by turning him into a girl and raping him multiple times, and then enacts spells forcing him to become a prostitute, while still remaining a man inside. But s/he manages to build a life with dignity and purpose, and eventually with love and happiness. Warning ... Contains limited descriptions of violence and rape. Table of Contents Prologue 1. North Western Texas State College 2. The Date 3. The Charge 4. The Trial 5. The Coven's Punishment 6. To Las Vegas 7. First Trick 8. The Day After 9. Life as an Escort 10. Life as an Escort - First Pregnancy 11. Life as an Escort - The Dance Troup and Sam 12. Life as an Escort - Special Assignments 13. Life as an Escort - The Rescue 14. Life as an escort -- Meeting Danno 15. Life as an Escort - Celia's Detox 16. Life as an Escort - Strange Date 17. Life as an Escort - Meeting Rosemary 18. Life as an Escort - New Apartment 19. Life as an Escort - Date with Hugh Hampton 20. Second Pregnancy, Escaping Las Vegas 21. Reno, Finding Work in the Medical Field 22. Brad, New Friends, and a New Apartment 23. Coping with Spells, Friends Again, and Danno 24. Travel to Thailand, Lily Prepares 25. Spending time with Sam and Family, Meeting Clarisse 26. Big Email from Mitty, Talk with Evelyn 27. Final weeks in Thailand 28. Move to Sam's Place 29. Dealing with the Coven 30. Meeting my Family as Helen 31. Back to Sam's House with Aunt Helen and Mitty 32. Marrying Sam 33. My New Life Epilog This is the third of five sections in The Punishment. The first section of this book described how Elvis became Blossom, a prostitute in Las Vegas. Elvis was a returning veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan. He attended college and went out on a date with an attractive girl. He woke up the next day with limited memories of what happened and was arrested for rape. Unable to come up with bail, he spent three months in jail, before being tried, but not convicted. He was released, only to have a coven of witches abduct and punish him. First, they turn him into a woman and rape her multiple times after enhancing themselves. Then, the witches cast a series of spells that force him/her to become a prostitute and service abusive men. They give the new woman the identity of 'Helen,' who is 19 and just graduated from high school. Then a witch seeks to help him by connecting him with an escort agency in Las Vegas, where he is given a trade name of 'Blossom.' The remainder of the first section describes Blossom's first experiences as an escort, and her first trick. The second section described Blossom's life and experiences as an escort engaged in prostitution. In addition to her professional experiences, Blossom has some bad things happen to her outside the profession, as well as some of good things. She gets pregnant but is forced into an abortion by her employer. She makes friends with a woman police officer, who persuades her to play on a woman's soccer team. She tries out as a part time show girl. She helps rescue a teenage girl who is being abducted. And she meets two guys who she really likes, Sam, and Danno. And she makes friends with another escort, Ally. 19. Life as an Escort - Date with Hugh Hampton xxxxx The next incident I will describe ended my stay in Las Vegas and forced me to change my life. That was not bad. I was ready for a change. The interpreter had explained that this life as an escort would require one day of abusive sex a week, but would allow me six days to try to establish a different life of dignity and purpose. But that assumed that AAA would assign me special dates every seven days like clockwork. Instead, the special assignments were sporadic and unpredictable. I had to accept special assignments more often than every week, or risk not getting them often enough to prevent me from suffering effects of the spell. More importantly, I found that the need for abusive sex could be satisfied by a nice guy who was willing to slap me on the ass during sex. I did not have to subject myself to a terrifying date with a psychopath, which is what most special assignments amounted to. But most important, I found myself more and more wanting to be with a nice guy. They were so much more interesting and fun than a bad boy. In other words, I wanted a relationship, with a guy. It surprised me. Clearly, Elvis was no longer in control. But to find a nice guy for a relationship, I needed to get out of this profession. Nice guys didn't want a relationship with a whore. But another factor came into my decision as to what to do. That was the need to send money to my aunt and my sister. I loved them, and they were struggling and needed that money. So, it was hard just to stop being an escort. But then something happened that changed everything. In late May, I accepted a special assignment. But Joyce told me that this guy seemed strange, even for guys wanting a special. She asked what kind of activity he wanted, and he said he wanted everything. She told him about the rules for special assignments, and he questioned her closely, as though he was trying to be certain how far he could go. In the end, he agreed to use a condom and gave her a credit card number. She ran the $1500 credit, and the card was good. So, she figured she could trace him down if needed. Only then did she agree to supply someone for the assignment. He expressed a preference for an exotic escort, code for non-white. So, she was giving me the first shot. But she told me that she wouldn't blame me for turning it down. I had been without abusive sex for nine days, so I didn't feel I could turn it down. There might not be any other special assignments before the two- week limit was up. However, I was within the time in the pill cycle when getting pregnant was possible. The guy being willing to use a condom made my participation possible, whereas another special assignment within the next five days might insist on bareback, which I could not do. I got the particulars from Joyce, along with a commitment that a bodyguard would be in the casino. The guy had asked me to dress young, so I decided on my cheerleader outfit, since it had boots in which I could hide my knife, and it allowed me to move quickly if need be. I washed up thoroughly, did my makeup, and put the panic button in my hair, my knife in my boots and my pistol in my purse. Finally, I said goodbye to Celia and went out to meet the Uber driver. Wearing the cheerleader outfit in a casino in the evening, I looked like a call girl going to meet a john. A couple of young guys whistled as I walked through the casino, and I automatically acknowledged them by swaying my ass a little more. But Joyce's comments had made me concerned, and I was subconsciously looking for escape routes if I needed one. I knocked on the door to the room that Joyce had specified, and it opened. I went in and turned and looked at the man who had let me in and gasped. It was Hugh Hampton, from the Alpha Sigma Fraternity. He said, "Hi, I'm Kevin Smith; you may call me Master." It was already clear this was going to be a weird and unpleasant encounter. But I knew my role and said, "Yes, Master." I looked at him to see if he was joking. There was no indication. Then I remembered that Hugh never joked. He took himself very seriously, and had no sense of humor, apart from dealing out nasty semi- witty criticism. Then he said, "I'll call you Whore. Come over here, Whore." Geez, it was going to be a very weird encounter. I put my purse down on a table by the entrance, and walked over to him, trying to look like I wanted to do so. Then he slapped me, hard enough so it hurt badly, although I knew he could do much worse. He said, "That is a taste of what you will get if you don't do exactly what I tell you." I looked up and nodded. He was still 6'5" tall, and strongly built, but he looked much bigger to me now than when I was back in college. He said, "Arms up." Then he pulled my top up and off, and then undid my bra. He said, "You're not much in the boob department, are you, Whore?" I shook my head, no. He briefly caressed my small breasts, and then put a finger and thumb on each nipple and pinched hard. I squealed in pain and tried to pull away, but he slapped me in the face again, even harder than before. It hurt so much that tears came to my eyes and I was sure this one would show, so he was not behaving as he and Joyce had agreed. At this point, I felt that I could be hurt badly, so I tried to reach into my hair and hit the panic button. He didn't notice what I was trying to do, and just laughed and said, "I told you what would happen if you didn't do what I told you to." Before I could find the panic button, Hugh grabbed my hair and pulled me back to him, and then pushed me to the floor. He pulled down his pants and underwear. His penis was hard and long and thick. He told me, "Get up on your knees, Whore, and suck it." I did as he demanded but couldn't get it all into my mouth. It was way too long. He told me several times to take it all, but I couldn't. Finally, he reached behind my head and forced his cock down my throat and fucked my face until he came in my throat. My God, it hurt, and I almost passed out from lack of oxygen. When he finished, I fell to the floor, gasping and gagging. This qualified as abusive sex, and I orgasmed, but I don't think he could tell because of my choking and trying to get his cock out of my throat. He watched me writhe on the floor for a moment, and said, "Shut up, Whore." After a short while, I was able to get myself under control. Then he laughed again and grabbed me by my crotch and around my neck and picked me up and carried me over to the bed and threw me onto it. He turned me over and put his left forearm on my shoulders and stuck the middle finger of his other hand in my pussy and the thumb in my ass and squeezed. It hurt like hell. Without thinking I cried out, "No, Hugh, please no." All his merriment ceased, and he looked at me angrily and asked, "What did you say, Whore? What did you call me? I realized what I had done and tried to draw it back. I replied "Master, I said 'please, please no.'" He looked at me and thought a moment and said, "No you didn't, Whore. You called me a name you shouldn't know. How did you know it? How do you know me?" While this all happened, I ended up on my back with my hands above my head, and I brought my hand into my hair and triggered the panic button. Now, I could only pray that help would arrive in time. Hugh looked at me carefully. Then he pulled me up and looked at the side of my face first on the right and then on the left. He said, "Elvis. Elvis is that you?" I shook my head, no. He didn't believe me. He laughed and said, "So those rumors were true. The women who were so mad at you were witches and turned you into a chick and a prostitute. Nobody believed those crazy rumors. It sounded like low-quality teen girl fiction. But it's true, isn't it?" He looked me in the eye and gave me a shake. But the spells would not let me say yes. Then he said, "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. I'll still do what I planned to do. It'll just be more fun." Then he said, "Spread your legs, Whore." Then he put his dick at my pussy entrance and started to push in. I writhed and closed my legs and said, "No, you're supposed to use a condom. It's my time of the month when I can get pregnant." He laughed and said, "Don't worry, you won't be pregnant long. Now spread more or suffer my wrath." I would have laughed at his delusion of grandeur, but it didn't seem advisable. He choked me for a few moments, and I acceded to the inevitable and spread my legs. He climbed on the bed on top of me and entered me. His cock was large enough to stretch my pussy out and to hit parts of my vagina that few men could hit. I was not producing enough lubrication, and it hurt, which again qualified as abusive sex, and I orgasmed again. I think this time he noticed because he laughed a bit and increased his pace. Soon he came inside me. He spurted out a lot of semen, and I could feel it oozing out around his cock. Then he put his full weight on me. I struggled and tried to push him off, without moving him at all. I could not breathe, and I thought I would be crushed. At this point, I realized I still had my boots on. I focused on finding an opportunity to get to the stiletto. After a few minutes, he got off me. I was still gasping for air, when he got on his side and said, "Hey, Elvis. You're a good fuck. Becoming a woman has been good for you. You've developed a useful talent." Then he casually slapped me on the face. I had been moaning in pain, but that shocked me into silence. He asked, "What's it like being a woman?" I somehow managed to reply, "It was strange at first. But I've adapted, and it feels natural now. I guess I've consoled myself that I deserve whatever they did to me." Then I continued quietly, "After all, I'm a rapist." Hugh laughed at that, then said, "You really are a pussy. And you were a pussy before you became a woman." He laughed some more. Then he said, "You simpleton. You're not a rapist. You were never man enough to be a rapist. You pined for a girl who was out of your class. She rejected you. And you did nothing act disappointed. What a pussy." I said, "What do you mean? I raped her. I'm so ashamed of myself." He said, "You didn't rape her. You weren't man enough. I raped her, with you laying there, drugged into unconsciousness, the perfect patsy." I was shocked. I said, "But it was my DNA inside her, not yours." He laughed and said, "I know, I used a condom when I raped her, and then I used an electro-ejaculator and took some semen from you and put it inside her." If she had gotten pregnant, it would have been yours, not mine." I asked, "What's an electro-ejaculator?" He laughed, "It's gross. It's something you stuff into a male animal's ass and turn it on, and it induces ejaculation. It worked. I had to use a higher voltage than recommended because you were such a wuss. But it worked eventually." God, that must be why I woke that morning with my ass and balls so sore. Damn. I asked, "Why? I know we weren't friends, but I never did anything to you." He said, "I was testing to see if I could rape a woman and get another man to take the fall. And It worked. But it wasn't worth the effort. There wasn't a lot of pleasure in raping a sleeping woman while I was wearing a condom. I haven't done it again." I said, "You screwed with my life, just to see if you could. You are an asshole." Then he slapped me again. He said, "That's enough of that, Whore. You better be respectful of your Master, or else." Then he got off me and turned me over. I felt something mechanical stuffed into my ass and felt lubricant pushed into me. Then he got back on top of me, put his hand on my head and pushed it into the bed, put one of his thighs between my legs and angled himself so he could push his cock into my ass. It was an awful, crushing, experience, but it qualified as abusive sex, and I orgasmed again, although I managed not to show it. The position left my right arm and leg free, and my knife was in my right boot. One of the advantages of being a woman is that I was limber. I managed to reach my boot and pull my knife out. Now all I needed was an opportunity to use it. I decided to try for a stomach stab. I just wasn't strong enough to do much damage if I stabbed him in the chest. I didn't expect to win a fight with Hugh. He was enormously stronger than Blossom. But by now, I was convinced he was planning to kill me. Else why would he have told me how he had put my semen into April's vagina. I'd be damned if I'd go down without a fight. Finally, he finished and pulled out and pulled me up, keeping me in his grasp. I decided I wasn't going to get a better chance, and I twisted the knife in my hand and stabbed backward as hard as I could. It wasn't very hard, but I felt it enter his leg. I twisted it and tried to stab again, but he pushed me away and looked down to try to see what had happened. I jumped off the bed and ran to the door and grabbed my purse. He was on me in an instant. He was trying to pull my head up; I think so he could get his arm around my neck. I assumed he was planning to twist my head and break my neck, which I'm sure he could easily do if he got me in position. But I focused on keeping my head down to my knees. He managed to lift my shoulders up, but my legs came with them. As I was fighting to avoid him getting a hold of my head, I put my hand in my purse, grasped my pistol, and put it between my legs and aimed upward as well as I could. Luck was with me. When I shot, I heard him scream. Just as important, I had not shot myself at the same time. I shot again, and he fell and pulled me down with him. I slipped under his arms and slid a few feet away and turned prepared to shoot again. But he wasn't there. He was laying on the ground holding his groin cursing at me. Then he started to scream for me to help him -- the hell with that. I wasn't going to go anywhere near that asshole. I pulled my gun out of my purse and continued to aim it at Hugh. As he thrashed around, he seemed to be coming closer. I told him, "Hugh if you come anywhere near me you are going to die." I laid the purse on the floor and used my left hand to find my phone. I had an emergency ap, and I just pushed it once to get 911. The operator came on the line, and I said, "Sunny Skies Casino, Room 511, I was just assaulted and shot the assailant. Please get someone here now." They wanted to ask a lot more questions, but I just repeated what I'd said, except I gave them my name, Blossom Miyamoto. I had been beaten up too much today to play a lot of games. Two minutes later, my 'AAA protector,' a big, heavy guy named Mike Akuza, walked in the door. He looked at Hugh and me and asked, "Hi Blossom, who's that." I replied, "Hugh Hampton, aka Kevin Smith. He was my John tonight. He tried to kill me. He messed with the wrong whore." Mike laughed and said, "I can see that." Then Hugh noticed that Mike was in the room and begged him for help and told Mike that I was a whore he hired, but I tried to rob him, and when he wouldn't give me any money, I shot him. Mike said, "I'm not buying it, Partner. She's never done anything like that." Then he asked me, "What do you want me to do?" I said, "I called 911. I'd appreciate it if you stayed until the police show up. Stand outside the door like you're a gawker. Then walk away before they can question you." He said, "I can do that." Then he told Hugh, "I'm right outside. If you try anything, you'll regret it. Just sit here and wait for the police and medics." Then Mike left. About five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. A female voice called, "Police, come out with your hands up." I said, "I can't. I have a guy who tried to kill me in here. I'm holding him at gunpoint. I'm worried that he has guns in this room and will use them if I let him go." I knew they didn't want to come in without clearing things, because it could be an ambush. But then the woman said, "Is that you, Blossom." It was Trudy. I replied, "Yes, it's me. Blossom Miyamoto." She said, "Is it safe to come in?" I said, "It's safe." A moment later, Trudy and her partner kicked the door in and Trudy came in ready to shoot. But she saw me armed and Hugh sitting there in pain, and relaxed. She said, "Damn, Blossom. Can't you stay out of trouble?" I just shrugged. Trudy called her partner in and told me to put down my weapon, which I happily did. Then she asked me what happened. I told her I had come here for a date, and this guy had tried to kill me. So, I shot him to protect myself. After the dust settled the prosecutor declined to press charges. Even though there was physical evidence that showed battery and asphyxiation, I was a prostitute occasionally engaged in rough sex. Hugh could creditably claim that the battery and asphyxiation was part of the sex, and I had just misunderstood. And I could not point out any motive for attempted murder. I told the prosecutor, "Hugh's a psychopath, how's that for motivation?" The prosecutor pointed out that there is no evidence of that. Of course, the spells wouldn't let me give the real motivation, that Hugh had framed me for rape in the past, and now he was afraid I would give information on that action to a bunch of witches. Hugh tried to get me charged with attempted robbery and assault, but the prosecution declined to prosecute that too. Hugh didn't have a lot of cash in the room, and he had already given me (and AAA) $1500, which I would forfeit if I tried to rob him. And besides, when the police came I had almost no money in my purse. As far as assault, the fact that I had been beaten and choked would allow me to claim self-defense, which the prosecutor could not disprove. So, the prosecutor put the whole incident in the category of rough sex gone bad. He told a newspaper reporter, "Dustups between prostitutes and their johns are common. These two are both lucky that nobody was killed." I couldn't disagree. If I had killed him, I probably would have been prosecuted. Plus, I didn't want to kill anyone, however much I hated them. After spending a few days in the Las Vegas Municipal hospital, Hugh was released and went home to explain to his parents why he had been visiting a prostitute when he was shot. While he was in the hospital, my protector, Mike Akuza, visited him and explained to him how dim a view the Mob took of him trying to kill one of their contractors, and how they might react to that in the future and how he would be much better off staying away. However, I wasn't sure Hugh would heed that warning. After all, he would be more afraid that I would someday come back to Collegeville, Texas and tell the witches what he had told me. So, Hugh would feel much safer with me dead. And he was so arrogant that he would think he was smarter than the mob and be able to handle anything they would throw against them. Nevertheless, I didn't expect to have to worry about him soon. A gunshot wound to the stomach tends to slow a man down. I was sure Hugh had intended to kill me after he recognized me. And he had hurt me badly, even though he had not made many marks. But having failed to kill me, he had given me a great gift. He had restored my respect for myself. April had been beaten badly and raped anally and vaginally. (Actually, the beating she had taken had not been unlike what Hugh had done to me.) Before Hugh told me the truth, I thought that I, as Elvis, had done that to her, that I was at heart a brutal rapist who not only would take advantage of a woman's weakness to make myself feel good but would enjoy her pain and degradation. Now I knew I had not done that, and that knowledge lifted a black cloud that surrounded my soul. After a week of healing at home, with help from my two roommates, I returned to my routine. I had become very comfortable in that routine. I hated being a whore, but I had my two roommates, and we had become very good friends and spent a lot of time together doing those things girlfriends do, shopping, going to various events, and just socializing. And I had the dancing troupe, which I enjoyed greatly. And I had soccer. 20. Second Pregnancy, Escaping Las Vegas xxxxx But then my next period didn't happen as expected. I didn't bleed or feel uncomfortable at all. I suspected I might be pregnant again. I also realized that the only person who could have made me pregnant was Hugh. Damn It all. I bought a home pregnancy kit, and it verified that I was pregnant. For most women, the next step would be to ask a gynecologist for final verification. However, the last time I was pregnant, one of the muscle guys for AAA had dragged me to an abortion clinic. I had vowed I would not let them do that to me again. I would make my own decisions. I might decide to have an abortion. Or I might decide to run off and do the best I could to carry the child to term. But it would be my decision. I agonized whether I should abandon my current life, with all its flaws, for a child whose father I despised above all other men. Who was the man who had set me up to be accused of rape, and in that way had led to me my transformation to a woman? And I knew that if I stopped being an escort, I could not send much money to my Aunt and Sister. I knew that they needed that money badly. My sister continued to send emails, even though I could not answer them and told me of their financial travails and how welcome the $100-dollar bills were. I had to decide soon. Because of my slenderness, I would probably start showing at 12 weeks. If I was going to flee Las Vegas, it would have to be before then. I spent a lot of time the next week after the incident with Hugh thinking about what to do. In fact, outside of dates, I spent almost every waking minute trying to decide what to do. It became an obsession and both my roommates noticed it and asked me what was going on. At first, I didn't answer, but they persevered, and I finally swore them to secrecy and told them what was going on. Both had the same advice, "Get the abortion, of course. Be done with it." A couple of times I came within a hair's breadth of going into the clinic. But something always stopped me and threw me back into indecision. Finally, I decided to talk to a clergyman. They were familiar with moral dilemmas. But I didn't want to talk to just any clergyman. I couldn't give any credence to the thoughts of a male clergyman who had never even thought about the issues of being a mother. However well-intentioned such a clergyman might be, his advice must of necessity reflect dogma of some kind. I didn't want to listen to dogma. I wanted to talk to a thoughtful woman who had at least contemplated bearing and raising a child. I was slipping more and more into feminine modes of thinking. I wanted advice from a woman, who shared the concerns and the reality that was mine now. I went on-line and looked up churches in Las Vegas and visited their websites to find woman pastors. I found an Anglican church with a woman named as one of the co-pastors. That was what I wanted. My family had attended an Anglican church in Tempah. I called the number listed and asked to schedule an appointment with the female pastor. The receptionist said she was on vacation until next week, but the other (male) pasture was available today or tomorrow. I said, "No, I want to talk to a woman. Please give me a time next week." Without further questions, she scheduled me for the following Tuesday morning. Knowing I was going to talk to someone who might have some insight into my dilemma gave me peace. The next Tuesday, I put on my most conservative dress. It was tan with yellow flowers and came down almost to my knees. Without thinking about it, I put on a neckless, earrings, and a ring and some bracelets Ally and Celia had given me for various reasons. I put on conservative makeup and checked to see that I looked as chaste and grown-up as possible. Then I called Uber and soon was on my way. I arrived a little early, but the pastor called me in as soon as she saw I was there. She introduced herself as Pastor McCready but said I could call her Linda if I preferred. I said, "It's nice to meet you, Linda, I'm Helen Watson. How are you?" She said she was fine, and in return asked me how I was. I told her, "Well, not so good." She asked, "What's wrong, Helen." At that, all the pain and uncertainty overwhelmed me and I burst into tears and said, "Everything's wrong. Pastor McCready, Everything." She came over and held me and let me cry for a moment. Then she said things might not be as dark as I thought. She returned to her seat, invited me to expand on what I meant by 'everything.' The spells wouldn't let me tell her that I had been a man and had been accused of rape, that I had in turn been turned into a woman by a coven of witches and raped myself, that I had had spells applied that forced me to become a prostitute. So, I had to start in the middle. I said softly, "I'm pregnant." She said, "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard. Did you say you were pregnant?" I continued a little louder, "I'm pregnant. I'm a prostitute. A john forced himself on me when he was not wearing a condom. Now I am pregnant." She said gently, "I'm sorry, Helen. Have you called the police?" I replied, "Yes. The city declined to prosecute. The prosecutor doesn't believe a prostitute can be raped." I knew I wasn't being fair to the prosecutor, but at that moment I didn't care. I had planned to be very methodical and rational when I talked to this lady, but for some reason now I couldn't. I continued, "I think the john was trying to kill me. We knew each other from before and had never gotten along." I realized in the back of my mind how tawdry and unlikely this entire story sounded. I continued, "After he raped me, he had me by the throat, and I pulled a knife out of my boots and stabbed him and then ran and got a gun out of my purse and shot him twice." She asked, "Did you kill him?" I shook my head. I said, "No. They were just flesh wounds. I'm glad I didn't kill him. I didn't want to kill him. I hate him for what he did to me. But I didn't want to kill him. Just get him away from me." Then she asked, "Are the police prosecuting you for assault?" I shook my head again, and said, "No, apparently they didn't think they could prove that it wasn't self-defense." She replied, "Yes, they don't like to lose. So, they might or might not believe you, but they won't prosecute unless they have a case they can win. Then I said, "A week later, I missed a period. So, I tested myself and found I was pregnant. I've spent another couple of weeks agonizing over what to do about it." She looked at me. I'm sure she realized that that was code for the question of whether to abort the fetus or not. She said, "What to do with a baby is an awful decision for someone who's little more than a child herself." I smiled at her wanly and said, "I'm older than I look. I'm 19. I have ID." To her credit, she didn't laugh outright. Every underage prostitute on the strip had ID showing they were 19. She asked, "Do you want the father to take financial responsibility?" I replied, "Not really. He's a total bastard, and I never want to talk to him again." Then a phrase came to me from high school literature. I said, "He's mad, bad, and dangerous to know, like Byron." I think up to then the pastor thought I was a very young high school dropout, but now she realized I had more education than that. She said, "Well if you change your mind, it's still possible. But it would require a blood test and a DNA match. And it would probably be a messy legal battle. And he might get visitation rights." I said, "My God, I would have to be crazy to buy into that process. No!" Then I continued, "I'm a ... a call girl, and work for AAA Escorts." At that, the pastor's demeanor changed. I think up to then, she had thought I was a very young teen who had gotten abducted off the streets and into a pimp's stable of prostitutes. Unfortunately, it happened way too often. Now, I think for the first time she accepted that I might be a 19-year old woman who was legally responsible for herself and had decided independently to be a prostitute. I continued, "I signed an agreement with AAA not to get pregnant and if I do, to consent to an abortion. If they find I am pregnant, they will send someone to take me to an abortion clinic by force. So, I couldn't possibly take the time to sue the john who raped me." The pastor said, "OK, so tell me how I can help you." I replied, "I need to make a major decision. Should I voluntarily go along with AAA, and abort the fetus, and continue with my current life. It isn't ideal, but has some good things about it? Or should I run off, and carry the child to term, even though he or she is the child of a man I absolutely despise." Then I asked, "Do you have any children?" She reached over to the desk and turn a picture around. She said, "Yes, a son and two daughters. They are the light of my life. Every day I go home happy to see them again. And if you're asking if it was worth all the pain and discomfort of giving birth to have them, the answer is yes. Absolutely. But I must say that is partly because I have a wonderful husband who supported me all the way." For some reason, that made me cry again, and I told her between sobs that I was happy for her. Once I had collected myself again, I said, "There's another little wrinkle in this soap opera. I am sending money back home to my aunt and my sister. My aunt is undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. She can't work, and my sister is only 16. They really need that money. If I run off, I can no longer send that money home." She replied, "How much money?" I answered, "It averages $1000/week. I send whatever I have that I don't need. My aunt does not have any insurance. She has taken a second mortgage out on the house, but a lot of that is already gone." The pastor said, "So is the decision is a choice between the welfare of your aunt and sister, and your unborn child?' I nodded and said, "I think so. I mean they might muddle through even without the money. But I think they need it." She asked, "Does all this money come from prostitution?" I replied, "Most of it. A little comes from dancing. I'm a showgirl." She said, "Oh, I knew I'd seen you before. My husband and I went to a review a few weeks ago and saw you. Your appearance is very striking. A very young Eurasian girl with a big smile who seems to love to dance. We enjoyed it very much." I smiled and said, "Thank You." Then she asked, "Do your aunt and Sister know where the money comes from?" I said "No. No way either would accept it if they did." Then I asked, "What would you do in my place?" She said, "I can't tell you that Helen. I'm not in your place. I don't know what you know or feel what you feel. I can only make an observation; the child is innocent. The child didn't choose his or her mother, or his or her father. The child didn't cause you to be beaten up by the father. The child isn't the cause of your current difficulty. And the child didn't choose to be born of rape. The child is just like any other, with unknown potential and totally innocent in the eyes of God. I have a couple of other questions you might want to ask yourself. What would your aunt and sister choose? Have you asked them?" I said, "I just can't talk to them about this. I can't. But I know what they would choose. They are kind and unselfish and would tell me to bear the child, and they would manage." Then she asked, "What about your father and mother. You haven't mentioned them." I answered, "They're both dead. I miss them very much. I wish I could talk to them. Particularly my father. He was kind and gentle and loving and wise. I think he would have some answers." Next, she asked, "Do you think you could love this child in spite of how he or she was conceived?" I answered, "I don't know, Pastor McCready. I don't know." She said, "If not, you could find adoptive parents who would love him." I said, "I suppose." Then she asked, "Do you think you can safely carry the child to term? Do you even weight 100 pounds? You don't look it." I said, "I'm stronger than I look, Pastor. I might." Finally, she asked, "If you were to run off, where would you run to? Would you go home to your Aunt? Do you have any friends who would help you?" I answered, "As much as I would love to be with my aunt and sister, I just can't. I haven't decided where to go yet. But I would like to be a nurse or a doctor someday. I was thinking of looking for a job in the medical field, somewhere far away from Las Vegas." She asked, "Do you have any experience in the medical field, Helen? They won't hire people without experience or training." I said, "I know. I could start in records maybe, or even in housekeeping. I've had some experience that won't show up on my resume. But I know I liked working with patients." She gave me a strange look, waiting for me to tell her what experience I had had, but I couldn't do that. The spell wouldn't let me. Finally, she gave up, maybe thinking I was deluding myself. Then she asked, "Is there anything else you would like to talk about, Helen?" I answered, "I can't think of anything right now. Could I come back later, if I need to talk more?" She said, "Yes, of course. I've enjoyed talking to you. You have a big decision. I'd be happy to talk to you more if you wanted. And I'll pray for you, Helen." I said, "Thanks, Pastor. I need all the help I can get." After leaving the pastor, I felt that I had accomplished what I had wanted. She had helped me see things more clearly. I knew what I had to do now. I decided that I had to have this child. I couldn't punish him or her because the father was an evil man. That meant that in a little over two months, I would have to leave Las Vegas and find a new life somewhere and prepare to have a child. It would require some sacrifices, but I had to do it. I thought and made plans over the next couple of days. The first part of the plan was to accumulate as much money as possible before I left. I took every assignment and date I could, even specials. They now terrified me, but I had to. Then, I needed to figure out where to go when I ran off. Geographically, I decided to go west and north, where the political climate was better for unwed mothers. And I wanted to be in suburban or rural areas. I was frankly afraid of big cities. I'd never lived in one. I thought big cities were dangerous, and it would be too easy to get lost in the crowd. I needed to figure out how I would support myself and my baby. That would help me decide exactly where to go. I wanted to work in a medical job. I wasn't going to give up the dream that Elvis had had, to be a doctor or nurse or an emergency responder at some level. If I had been looking for work as Elvis, with credentials as an Army medic, I could have qualified for any number of jobs as an EMT or a paramedic. But Helen didn't have those credentials. She didn't have any credentials. What could she do in the medical field? Well, she could pick up work in hospitals or treatment centers in some job that didn't require patient care, such as housecleaning or records, or in some job that didn't require much contact with patients, such as a low-level helper in any number of fields. Often, that sort of job required a lot of physical strength, and I would be competing against people who were much stronger than me. But other jobs just required being at the right place at the right time. Another area I could work in was as an optician or audiologist. A person with a bare high school degree could get a job as an assistant in these areas. The prospects of getting a good job weren't great, but once I had a job, I would get to know people and could find better work with time. The problem was finding a first job that would allow me to support myself and my baby. The thought briefly crossed my mind that I could pay for false credentials as an Army medic. I wasn't too troubled by the thought of lying. After all, I really did have 6 years of experience as an Army medic. But a girl who was 19 and looked 14 couldn't possibly have such experience, whatever credentials she might have. However, how about a false letter of recommendation that showed I had worked as a student nurse's aide or physician's aid in high school? I certainly had at least that much experience from my former life as Elvis, so I wouldn't be claiming I could do something that I couldn't. Combine such a letter of recommendation with high school grades of an A in science and biology, and it might help convince someone to hire me as an aid, even without formal credentials. I hated using false credentials. No matter how you cut it such credentials were a lie. But I couldn't help it. I was desperate. I wrote down a draft letter of recommendation from a fictitious Nurse Practitioner in Tempah. It said that while I was in high school I had worked for her as an aid. And it said that I had learned to do some very routine medical procedures; intake; taking blood samples; applying bandage; giving shots; helping patients who were not very mobile; and filling out insurance paperwork. Then I asked a local credential 'vender' to make it look genuine. I knew this sort of letter would only be useful if I were sitting there talking to someone who was hiring low-level aids, and if I could talk knowledgeably about the procedures, which I could. Another thing I did was sit down and tell Celia and Ally that I was leaving and begged them not to tell anyone until I had already left. I told them I would take off the first time I looked in my mirror and saw a baby bump forming. Although they both thought I was crazy, they understood why I felt I had to do this. I also told them I would pay my share of the rent on the apartment ahead, so they would have some time to find another tenant. But, predictably, my two friends both said, "That's not necessary. You should save your money." It was a bittersweet time, knowing I would soon leave them and my other friends in Las Vegas behind. But I was determined I would give my child a chance to live. I was able to increase my gifts to my aunt and sister, and still save what I thought I would need to give myself a reasonable start. I wished I could somehow alert my family that my gifts would soon stop. But that would be communicating with Elvis's relatives and was forbidden by one of the spells cast on me. I tried to slip a note into my gifts, but just couldn't. I tried to text my sister, but still couldn't. I even came up with a plan to write them, and leave the envelope with AAA, hoping that Joyce would notice it and mail it to be helpful. But I couldn't do that either. Somehow the spell sensed my intent and acted to frustrate it. Then Celia came to me and asked if she could come with me. She said she wanted to get away from Vegas, and this was as good a way as any. I said, but you are still making money as an escort and using that to pay for the classes you are taking. You can't support yourself in any other way until you have finished the classes. So just leaving wouldn't work. She said, "I don't know Blossom. The chance to pack up and move somewhere new with a friend and start a new life really sounds, oh, romantic and exciting. And I have saved enough to live on for half a year, so I can still take classes if I want. I may never be able to do something like this again. Plus, I think you may need my help. After all, it won't be easy being pregnant as time goes along." Celia was probably right that being pregnant would be harder than I thought. Being a pregnant woman was a foreign concept to Elvis. And although Helen was a woman, she had never talked to relatives or friends about pregnancy or asked herself how a pregnant woman might feel, or how she might cope with this or that feature of being pregnant. So, now she was becoming something that she had never contemplated. I replied, "Celia, I can't let you mess up your plans just because I might need your help. I won't allow you to come with me." She laughed and said, "Blossom, I'm a big girl. Now that I am off drugs, I can make my own decisions. And this is something I want to do. Come on. It will be good for both of us." I guess I was weak. The thought of having a friend with me sounded very good. So, I said yes, and we became a team. And I must admit, in retrospect, I couldn't have done it without her. I did ask Trudy for advice. Thankfully she didn't even try to guarantee me protection if I decided to stay in Vegas. We both knew it would be better for me to leave if I decided to abrogate my contract with AAA. Trudy gave me the name of a good gynecologist in Vegas who could be trusted to keep my visits confidential. Thankfully the gynecologist was on a bus line too, so I did not have to use Uber. It wasn't that I didn't trust the drivers, but the added security of using an untraceable ride on public transit gave me comfort. I came into the doctor's office and told the receptionist I was here for an appointment for Blossom Miyamoto. I wished I had had time to get another ID, but somehow that had slipped through the cracks. I didn't want to use my 'sort of' real name, Helen, and would rather have separated the visit from my current escort identity, Blossom. But now I had to risk compromising one of my two female identities. and I chose the Blossom identity. I planned to stop using it when I left Las Vegas anyway. The receptionist asked me to fill out some insurance forms, but I told her I didn't have insurance and would be paying in cash. That raised an eyebrow. But she was nice and offered me paperwork to apply for aid. But I knew I wouldn't be eligible, and I declined. When I first saw the doctor, her immediate assumption was that I was underage. I wished the witches hadn't made me look so damn young. I told the doctor I was truly 19 and showed her my Blossom Miyamoto ID. I'm sure she was aware that fake ID's were easy to get. But I think she decided to play along for the sake of enabling my medical care. She did a pelvic exam with me in stirrups. That was awkward, but it didn't bother me as it seemed to bother many women. The stirrups appeared to me to be well designed to allow the doctor to do what she had to do, get a good view of my vagina. I did let slip that this was only the second time I had been through this type of examination. I'm sure that cemented the doctor's thought that I was much younger than 19. But she continued anyway. After the exam, the doctor talked to me and said it would be safe to tell her my story. I still insisted I was 19 because I was. I couldn't tell her the real reason I was not more familiar with gynecologist procedures, i.e. because some witches had transformed me from a man into a woman. The spells wouldn't let me, even if I wanted to. The gynecologist noted that I was sexually active. I decided to tell her I was an escort. It might be important for my treatment. Then she lectured me about the possibilities of disease and said I should be seeing a doctor routinely regardless of the pregnancy. I told her I was seeing a doctor routinely, but a doctor who didn't treat pregnancy. The doctor just shook her head at that. The gynecologist prescribed some vitamins and supplements but told me OTC vitamins would work as well. Then the doctor looked at me carefully, and looked at my record and said, "You only weigh 96 lbs. That's not big enough to ensure the child gets enough nutrition. Is the father small like you?" I shook my head and said, "No, he's 6' 5"." Then she lectured me about gaining some weight. She told me my nutrition was the fetus's nutrition, and the fetus could be good-sized, so I needed to eat more, at least 2000 calories a day. I had eaten easily that much as Elvis, but couldn't remember ever eating that much in a day as Helen, and I doubted I could. It sounded nauseating to stuff myself like that. But I told her I would try. Then the doctor said I should see her every month and told me to make an appointment for a month from now. As I left, I paid the receptionist in cash. It was over $400, but I supposed I was paying for a few professional's times and for the office. Then I remembered I had heard that doctor's malpractice insurance premiums were through the roof. I suspected a good portion of the charge was insurance. That was crazy. Did juries ever think about the ramifications of some of these goofy multimillion-dollar awards to litigants even when no negligence was proved? I monitored myself for the appearance of a baby bump because that would trigger my leaving. It was supposed to appear between 12 and 16 weeks, but I expected to see one starting at 12 weeks because I was so slender. But to my surprise, I didn't see anything at 12 weeks, or at 13 weeks, or at 14 weeks. When I first saw one on a June Sunday between the 15th and 16th weeks of pregnancy, the bump seemed enormous. I wondered how long it had been there? I put my plan for leaving into effect. I requested Ally to do what she had promised. The next morning, I did not go to the AAA meeting; for fear Don would recognize I was pregnant. I went to the bank, and withdrew all my money, and deposited $5000 in an account at Wells Fargo that I could access on the road. I kept another $1000 cash and sent all the rest to my aunt and sister. I hoped that the odd amount would be a clue that this was the last. I had a date at 6 tonight and went ahead with that. It was another $400. And I might be able to persuade the john to spank me and give me release from the need to have abusive sex for a week. This would provide me the maximum amount of time to find someone else. The john was about 30 and seemed like a nice enough guy and was a considerate lover. He wanted to talk a little and told me he and his wife were in the process of getting a divorce. Fortunately, they had no children. He was seeing an escort now to relieve some sexual tension that he said was making it hard for him to function. I suggested he not give up on normal relationships with women. There were lots of good girls out there that he could still enjoy being with. He laughed and said he supposed so, but for now, he didn't feel he was up to it. And I was able to persuade him to spank me and give me the release I sought. At the end he gave me a nice $50 tip. So, I guess you could say my career as an escort ended on a high note. But I couldn't say I had been happy being paid to open my legs for random guys. Some of the guys had been great. I was thinking of that older guy, Sam, whose wife had died. He had two daughters, and his in-laws lived with him, so he felt he couldn't have another relationship with a woman. He was nice and so smart that I loved being with him. And I was also thinking of Danno, who was considerate when he didn't have to be and was also very smart and was incredibly attractive. I surprised myself feeling the attraction to these two guys that I did, seeing that I had been an exclusively heterosexual man less than a year ago. Most of the other johns had been OK, to a greater or lesser extent. Some were young guys with money who just wanted to get their rocks off with a prostitute as long as they were in Vegas. Others were older guys who had relationship problems and turned to a prostitute for comfort. And some guys were not particularly attractive and lacked the self-confidence even to try a normal relationship. I always told the latter that they could have a relationship, that being nice and supportive was more important than being a stud. I was kind of a lonely-hearts service for these guys. However, I had run into some very sick, mean guys. These guys wouldn't tell me much. So, I really didn't know why they were visiting prostitutes. I think some of them recognized their problems and were using a prostitute to blow off steam, so they didn't do anything that hurt people they cared for. And some may have been blowing off steam, so they didn't do something stupid and be in jail for the rest of their lives. Guys like that were at least trying not to cause random pain, albeit by causing me pain. But I could forgive that. After all, I profited from it. But many of these mean guys just visited escorts to have another opportunity to abuse women. I put Hugh in that category. At any rate, I was glad to leave the business. But I was aware I would still have to sleep with someone every week to satisfy the spell that forced me to seek abusive relationships. I wasn't sure how that would work out, but I didn't see any alternative for now. I might have to be a part- time prostitute in the future for that reason. But at least I would no longer spend all my working life on my back. The next morning, I called Joyce early on her cell and told her I was very sick with the flu, and I needed to cancel all appointments until further notice. I told her that my date last night had given me the fee of $1000 and said that I needed the cash and asked if she could take AAA's $600 out of what they owed me for the last week's dates. Joyce said that would be OK. A half-hour later Celia, did the same. I gave Ally a deposit envelope and asked her to pick up the rest of the pay AAA owed me and Celia (with Celia's permission of course) and sign it and mail it to the bank. 21. Reno, Finding Work in the Medical Field xxxxx Then Celia and I boarded a greyhound to Sparks, Nevada. I chose Sparks for several reasons. First, the Reverend Edward Fletcher lived there. He might be willing to help Celia and me find a reasonable place to live and to work. More importantly, I hoped he could provide advice, and maybe introductions to employers. I knew I might have to suck it up and go to his church once or twice, but I could do that, I hoped. The second reason was that although it was not near a resort area, where accommodations would be expensive, it was near the relatively large Reno-Tahoe population centers and had many hospitals in the area. That would improve my chances of finding the work that I wanted. We arrived in Sparks at 5:30. I called Reverend Fletcher's number. A woman answered, and I said, "Hi, I'm Blossom Miyamoto." At first, she didn't recognize the name, but in a moment, she said, "Oh, Blossom. Hi, I'm Susan Fletcher. It's nice to hear from you. How can I help you? I said, "Hi, Mrs. Fletcher. I've left Las Vegas and am in Sparks for a few days at least. I might look around for work. I wonder if I can get some advice on accommodations and employment in town." She answered, "The Reverend is in meetings with church elders today. He's not available. He can probably call you tomorrow." I replied, "Right, so where would YOU recommend Celia and I stay for a few days?" She said, "Oh, wait a minute." Then she came back on the line and said, "Here is a list of places to stay for visitors to the church, along with prices and some comments. I can read it to you." I said, "Can you take a picture and text it to me?" Apparently, she had never done that. So, after hemming and hawing for a few moments, I said, "OK, just read it. Let me get a piece of paper." She read off five or six places, along with prices and comments on three of them. Then I asked her, "Have you visited any of these places? Do you have any personal observations?" She thought and said "No." I said, "OK, thank you for the suggestions." I expected her to ask some questions. And I'd hoped she would suggest she would help, maybe take us around. But she just said, "Your welcome," and hung up. It was an odd conversation. Well, I guessed I would call the Reverend tomorrow. Celia and I took the list from Susan and then brought up bookings.com and between the two of them identified several motels in the area. One was less expensive, and we decided on it. It was called the Sunset Motel and cost $80, so $40/night for each of us. I called it, and they had a vacancy. It was a half-mile walk from the bus station on a very warm August evening on a busy road. Nevertheless, I elected to walk because that money that Celia and I had saved, about $5000 each, would not last long if we weren't careful. Getting to the motel took a half hour. We got some honks from passing male motorists, even though we were dressed conservatively, in shorts and tee shirts. But I guess just being two women walking down a busy road gave the impression we were prostitutes. Halfway there, a police officer stopped and asked us some questions. We explained we were relocating and would be looking for work. He looked skeptical, and I showed him my letter of reference and my ID as Akira Helen Watson. Finally, he decided we weren't streetwalkers, which is illegal in Nevada even though prostitution is not. And he decided that we weren't involved in any other nefarious scheme, and sent us on our way, wishing us luck and cautioning us to not be out alone after dark. I was a little disappointed. I'd hoped he might give us a ride. But Celia told me cops weren't allowed to do that sort of stuff. Her father had been a cop, and she knew quite a bit about their procedures. By the time we got there, I was sweating and tired. We had a choice of top floor or street level. I was inclined to take the second floor. It was quieter and seemed safer. But there was no elevator, and I wasn't sure I could lug my suitcase up the stairs. But Celia had the same idea and said we could do it together. So, we took a second-floor room. After we got our suitcases to our room and turned on the air conditioning, we sat down and took stock. I looked around and laughed. It was a lot like our first place in Vegas. Celia asked what I was laughing about, and I told her, and she admitted it was a little funny. We had come full circle. By this time, it was almost 7. We had not had breakfast, and I tended to get car sick now that I was pregnant, so I didn't get a sandwich when we stopped on the way. I called the desk and asked if there were any fast food places nearby and they said there was a sandwich shop about two blocks on the other side of the street. We guessed it was in the same way we had been walking to get here since we had not seen any sandwich shops as we had walked from the bus station. So, we walked the same way and ran across it where the concierge had said. We sat there and talked as we ate. We were both excited but worried. Now that we were out of Vegas, where we had a profession, a second-class profession, but a profession, we were starting to realize what a monumental task we had ahead of us to establish new lives in a place where we had did not know anybody. And it might not work out in this area, so we might need to do it again. I don't know about Celia, but I was intimidated. It was dark by the time we walked back to the motel, and we got honked at several times and propositioned by one guy who didn't want to take no for an answer. He kept driving alongside us, jumping from parking space to parking space and shouting out what he would pay, even though we were not interested. After a couple of minutes of this, I took my phone out and conspicuously dialed 911 and started talking to the dispatcher. Finally, he drove off, after flipping us the bird. What a bastard. After getting back, I used my cell and found all medical facilities within walking distance. This included doctor's offices, dentist's offices, emergency clinics, free clinics for people, a veterinary clinic, a couple of optometrist offices, an eyeglasses retail store, and the Northern Nevada Medical Center. There were quite a few. I prioritized them and decided to start calling at 9 AM. Celia did the same but was looking for more general types of employment. Then we got to bed. Even though we had sat on our fanny most of the day, leaving Vegas and starting over was stressful and we were tired. In the morning we went next door to a pancake house to eat. When we got back to the room, I made call after call. Everyone who has looked for a job has had the same experience. It was hard to remember you were a good, hard-working person when business after business told you they don't need you. I did get some interest. Glasses-crafters told me they had part-time work available if I wanted to come in and apply. But when I asked them the hours, they told me they were variable. But that would prevent me from working anywhere else, so I word like that. I finally was invited to come in and apply for a part-time job at a Doctor's office, where the hours were fixed so I could look for something else. And I called on a job opening at a drugstore and they invited me to apply. And Celia came across an opening at a nearby restaurant that needed multiple waitresses. I decided to start with the job opening that I was most interested in and apply at the doctor's office. And later the drugstore. And finally, the restaurant. It was a mile and a half walk to the doctor's office. I walked in and introduced myself as Akira Helen Watson to the receptionist, a 35year-old Japanese-American woman who introduced herself as Aiko. I was worried she would greet me in Japanese and force me to show my embarrassingly poor knowledge of that language. But she spoke only English. Aiko directed me to a website to fill out application forms. I signed into the office WIFI and spent a half-hour on the application. After that, I went over to Aiko and told her I'd finished it. Then I brought out my fake letter of recommendation and said I had worked in a clinic in high school and had a letter of recommendation from them. Aiko did not seem impressed but said I should take a picture of the letter and text it to her and she would attach it to my application. Then Aiko told me that if I could wait, the Doctor had a couple of gaps in his schedule and would be able to interview me today. So, I sat. Aiko was quite busy, but whenever she had a break, she would start up a conversation. It turned out she was from a third-generation Japanese family. They had gotten on the outs with the government and fled Japan and come to America just before WW2, just in time to be interned. But they hung in there, and her grandfather served in the US Army in Europe. He came home and started a construction business that catered to Japanese home buyers. He prospered and was able to send her mother to Stanford. She went straight through medical school but then married a mixed Japanese-Caucasian man who was a classmate. Aiko also attended Stanford and had met and fallen in love with a Caucasian man there who went into business and became an accountant for a casino. She had four children. She was working because she was the doctor's sister and he needed her help. All in all, she was a very likable person. She asked me for my story, and I gave her a very edited version. I had graduated from high school and gone to West Texas State University but had met a guy and moved to Vegas with him. He had found another girlfriend and left me. Then I had found out I was pregnant. The father had moved and not given his new address to me or to anyone else the two of us had known. I said I thought about terminating the pregnancy, but I couldn't cheat my child out of a chance for life. I decided to get out of Vegas, which had too many bad memories, and try to find a job further north related to medicine, which I had wanted to do since in high school. And here I was. She laughed, but then said my boyfriend was a total bastard to cheat on me after he had talked me into uprooting myself and following him to Vegas. Then she told me not to give up on men, though, because there were lots of good men out there. I agreed, the father of my child was a total bastard. I told her I hoped to meet one of those good men someday. She laughed. I asked if the doctor was a good man. She said, "Yes. He is a very good man and a very good doctor. His patients love him. And he runs a clinic on Thursday evening for the indigent, without pay." Then I asked, "Do you help him when he does that?" She said, "Yes, he needs someone who knows records or else he could get into big trouble. And if he can provide records for his indigent patients to take to another doctor when they move on, it's an important service. Then the doctor called me in for the interview. He was about 5'10" and good looking, and he had a smile that lit up the room, although something about him seemed a little off. He smiled and shook my hand and introduced himself as Dr. Larry Ikeda and asked how I was. I said I was OK and asked how he was. He looked a little surprised, but then said he was fine. He told me to take off my clothes and put on a robe hanging in the corner, and he would be back in a minute. I said, "Doctor, I'm here for a job interview, not an examination." He laughed at his error, with no self- consciousness, and said, "Oops. OK, I won't get your medical records. I'll look up your job application." He came back in a few minutes later. As I sat there, I thought to myself that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to have an exam. I hadn't seen a gynecologist for over a month, and it might be good to take the opportunity. I decided that I should check out this free clinic when I had a chance. Then Dr. Ikeda came back in with a tablet, presumably opened to my application. He sat down in the doctor's chair and asked me about myself. I gave him the same carefully edited story I had given Aiko. He asked me penetrating questions about the time as a high school I had supposedly assisted in a clinic, and what I had done. Then he asked me about some medical procedures and pharmacology I had intimated I learned. Perhaps I had oversold what a student might have done. I had not expected to be quizzed this carefully. I was making it up as I went along, based on Elvis's experience as an Army Medic. I remembered a quote from a play by Sir Walter Scott that I read in high school drama class. 'Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.' I slowly tied myself in knots, trying to explain how I had learned what I knew, without being able to give the true explanation because of the spells the witches had put on. As we went along I thought that Dr. Ikeda must consider me a miserable liar and wonder what I was covering up. Did he consider me someone who was trying to make herself seem more competent than she was, or someone covering up some nefarious deed, or just someone who lied out of habit? Whichever, I thought that he would never hire me. Hell, I wouldn't hire someone who seemed as slippery as I. But in the end, Dr. Ikeda said, "Well, you did learn a lot. But if you worked for me, I would not want you to use any of these procedures unless I was present and approved. OK?" With relief, I said, "Absolutely, OK. Does that mean I have the job?" He replied, "Yes. I need someone as soon as possible. Could you start today?" I asked, "Sure. But I'm not dressed appropriately for a doctor's office?" He said, "We have a few uniforms that you can try that will only be a little bit big on you. You can choose the one you like best and wear that for the day. Aiko will get your measurements, and we will order you a few new uniforms." Then he said, "My previous assistant quit last week. She was very young, only 22, and got another opportunity and left me high and dry, not even thinking what it meant to my practice." I said, "You did notice I was only 19, right? But I promise I won't leave without notice. I'm very responsible." He laughed and said, "I have a good feeling about you Helen. But you need to know something before accepting this job." I asked, "What's that?" He said, "I'm transgender. I have been living as a woman full time for over a year, except at the office. But I don't pass perfectly. I've been working on it and am getting better. But because I don't pass that well, I am maintaining my male gender at my office. I am just starting this practice and don't want to upset patients and their parents looking like some sort of half-man and half-woman. When I can pass better, and I have officially changed my name and reapplied for a license to practice as a woman, I will start being a woman doctor. In a few months, I will be flying to Thailand and getting sexual reassignment surgery. I think when I get back, I'll be ready to be a woman doctor." I took a few minutes thinking about what I knew about transgender people, trying to get a grip on what the doctor had said. I remembered hearing someone ask about sex changes when I had been in Army Medics training, and then being amazed that a guy would be willing to get his dick cut off to become a woman. It had given Elvis the willies just thinking about it. But Elvis (I was now thinking of him as a different person) was a good guy and did not react with condemnation. He was just surprised that a boy, or man, could be so unhappy that he would go to such extremes to become a girl. Then I realized what had seemed off about the Doctor. He had breasts. They must be bound, or they would be obvious. But he couldn't completely conceal them under his white coat. I felt bad for him, not being able to be himself, or herself. And I realized he did not show the normal affect of a man. He was more sensitive and calmer. Not drastically, but he was unusual for a man. That's because he wasn't a man, Duh. I found myself thinking that I was grateful that my transformation had come about through magic. No pain from surgery, no difficult real-life test, no having to come out to friends and family, and I could have a baby if I wanted. Then I kicked myself. It wasn't the same thing. Elvis hadn't wanted to be female and had transformed against his will. Now Helen felt happy to be female, probably because the spell that transformed her body had also modified her mind. Nevertheless, there were some similarities to Dr. Ikeda. I had once been a man and was now a woman, the same as him. I could sympathize with his feelings and with him having to learn a lot of new things about being a woman. I could easily put myself in his place. I told the Doctor, "I sympathize with the difficulties that lead to your decision, although I don't understand them. If it makes you a happier person, I am happy for you. And I would love to work for you and help you in any way I can." He said, "Good. You're hired. Now, we will need to measure you for uniforms, but for now, we have two used uniforms in the break room. Hopefully, one of them will fit. So, please get dressed. I have another patient soon." I said, "Before that, could you tell me what I should be doing while the patient is here?" He said, "For now just take notes, respond to my requests, and help the child and his or her parents be comfortable. I'll show you later how to enter the information from your notes into the database." I went and looked at the two uniforms in the break room and picked the smallest one and put it on. It was still way too large, but I could deal with it. Then I put my street clothing into a locker. I went back to the examination room, where Doctor Ikeda was with a patient and her parents. He introduced me as a new assistant. I tried to take thorough notes as he had suggested. In fact, I almost transcribed what they were saying since I did not know exactly what was necessary for the database. But a lot was going on, so it was quite confusing, and I was not sure I was getting everything. But I entered the data as soon as the doctor showed me when my memory was relatively fresh, so I think I managed to get everything. Once Dr. Ikeda asked me to get something from another room. With my experience as an army medic, I knew what he was talking about and managed to find it quickly. By the end of the day, I learned other aspects of the job. I would only take notes during visits if no other patient was at the office. If another patient was there, it was my job to greet the patient and family and get them to the right exam room and tell the doctor they were ready, and then if the child was healthy, I might go back and amuse the child until the doctor was available. I also learned how to handle children who had a cold or flu to minimize infection. And I became adept at cleaning rooms between patients. Doctor Ikeda told me that he would show me how to ask routine questions about background and illnesses and enter the patient information into the computer before he came into the room tomorrow. He would also show me some routine physical measurements that I could do. During a break between patients, the doctor asked me if I had had my monthly pregnancy checkup yet. As busy as we had been, I had temporarily forgotten all about being pregnant. But the Doctor had noticed my baby bump. I laughed and said, "No, I just got into town yesterday. I am due for a visit to a doctor soon." He said, "One of the benefits of this job is that I offer free pediatric and gynecological medical care to my staff. And since I am board certified in both gynecology and pediatrics, I am qualified to care for you during your pregnancy, if you want me to." I said, "Sure, Doc, that sounds great." I had seen the stirrups earlier and had wondered about them. But all his earlier patients had been pediatrics. He said, "Well, do you have time to do an exam now. I have no commitments." I said, "Sure, no time like the present, I guess." He smiled, "Right. Let's take the opportunity to talk about procedures for gynecological patients. He told me what information I should have from women before the Doctor came in, how to ask them to disrobe, how to help with breast x-rays (I had not had a breast x-ray yet. They sounded painful), how to help with pelvic exams, etc., etc. Then he said, "Well, let's do your exam." Then he showed me how I should help a woman get herself comfortable in the stirrups. As he did the exam, he explained what he was looking at. The emergency medicine Elvis had learned as an army medic had not included gynecological exams, so I learned a lot of new things. Additionally, I gained a lot of general information about women's bodies, my body. I suspected that girls learned this from their mothers and their doctors when they went into puberty, and from their girlfriends. But I had only seen a gynecologist twice before and had never seen one who was as good as Dr. Ikeda at explaining what was going on. And I had never been a young girl or had girlfriends to explain such things. And my mother and aunt had never had a reason to talk about women's bodies with Elvis. Not for the first time, I regretted not having the opportunity to learn how to be a woman from an older woman. But even more, I regretted missing out on a girl's experiences, not being able to talk with girlfriends about all kinds of things that were important to girls and women (to me now), and not having other girls' experiences that I thought I would be fun. I thought of dance. If I had been a girl, nobody would have teased me about ballet. Would I have pursued it? Probably. And what about just dressing up and going out and the endless girls' activities that Elvis had only been aware of on the periphery. Would I have enjoyed them? Of Course. Water under the bridge now, though. Not that I felt cheated by my childhood. My father and my aunt had been wonderful. And I'd had a special relationship with my sister. That made me think about what I had lost since then. My father had died about a year ago, and my aunt was very sick, and I couldn't even tell her I loved her. Damn. I had zoned out and became aware of the doctor looking at me. He asked, "Are you OK?" I replied, "Yes, I was just thinking about when I was a girl." He looked sad and said, "I missed out on a girlhood. Was it fun?" I said, "Yes, Doctor Ikeda. A wonderful aunt and father raised me. I had a little sister that I dearly loved, and lots of good friends and fun activities; dancing; sports; and drama. I know it's unusual, but I loved my classes. They were all fascinating, but especially drama and science. I had no heavy responsibilities. No having to earn a living. No having to worry about a baby." I laughed at the latter. He said, "Drama and science? That's a weird combination." I said, "I know -- Right." I'm sure he interpreted my comments to refer to a girl's young life, but I had been as much a boy as him. I looked at this doctor whom I had unconsciously placed in the category of 'responsible young man and saw sadness and knew that inside he had been a girl, a deeply unhappy girl. And he envied what he thought I had had. Now I felt bad like somehow, I was making a mockery of his envy. Next, he focused on my exam and asked me a series of questions. Then he told me why he asked the questions. God, I envied his education. I would have given my eye teeth to have gone to college and medical school. Well, I might still be able to do it. It wasn't too late for either of us to have what we wanted. Finally, he said I seemed to be doing fine. He told me, though, that I needed to gain weight and get stronger or my pregnancy would be very difficult. I wasn't sure I could do either one. I think one of the spells was intended to freeze my physical status below the level April had been at when she was raped. I was sure the purpose was so I would remain physically defenseless as she had been at the time. But I was angry that this unjust punishment might cost my child its life. Damn those witches anyway. The doctor gave me some information on physical training classes for expectant mothers, and I told him I would go if I could. He also gave me nutritional information. I told him I would try to put on some weight, even though I knew it was unlikely. We finished at 5:30. Aiko had already left to get home to her family, so it was just the Dr. and me closing the office. He told me he would get me an office key tomorrow, just in case. I had to be in at 8:00, so we could prepare for the first patients who would arrive at 9:00. On the way home, I stopped at the drugstore that had a job available. I would apply and see what the hours were. I had foolishly forgotten to ask what the salary was at the Doctor's office. So, I didn't know what I would need to make at the drugstore in order to live. But I still thought I would apply and later see if the hours would allow me to do both jobs and if the total wages for the two jobs would amount to a living wage. I walked into the drugstore at 6, after a half hour's walk, and asked the cashier if I could talk to the manager about the job they were advertising. She said the store manager had gone home, but the assistant manager was in. I said, "Great. Can I talk to him?" The clerk said, "Her. The Assistant Manager is a woman. " I said, "Great, can I talk to her?" She laughed and said, "I will page her." She activated the intercom and said, "Assistant Manager to the front, please." A few minutes later a 40-something woman came up and talked to the cashier, then she came over to me and said, "I understand you are interested in applying for the job we are advertising?" I nodded, and she said, "OK, you need to go to our contractor's web site and apply. Then if you are qualified, they will notify us." I said, "Oh. Will I need to come back later then?" She said, "Probably not. This is an entry-level job, and unless the police are after you or have a record of stealing from your employers, your application will be forwarded to us almost immediately." So, I went on the website she referred me to and filled out the application using my phone. It was more complicated than the one I had filled out at the Doctor's office and took nearly an hour. At about 7:30, the manager came back and said, "OK, would you like to interview now?" I nodded, and we went to her office on the second floor. They were interested in my medical background and my having a job with a Doctor in town. After all, they were a pharmacy, and they thought my experience would be useful because their retail employees sometimes assisted the pharmacists. But they were concerned about my lack of retail experience. And the woman noted, "This job has some hard, physical labor moving inventory and stocking shelves. Do you think you can do that? I mean, you are very thin. I would guess you weigh about 100 lbs. And you are pregnant. What, four months?" I said, "Yes, I'm four months pregnant. And there would be times in the future when I would have to take time off to give birth and care for my child. But I understand your store does not discriminate on that basis. And I'm stronger than I look. I'm young, and I can do the job." She said, "OK, it's good to have a positive attitude." But I don't think the Assistant Store Manager was impressed. She said they would call in the next couple of days and tell me if I was hired. Before I left, I did find out that the pay was $12/hour, and that it was an evening job they were trying to cover. Since I was already working during the day, evening work was perfect. I finally got back to the motel at 8:30. It was dark, and I had been propositioned again as I walked, although at least this guy moved on when I said no. I wished I could find a way to avoid walking at night, but nothing came to mind. I had bought a sub sandwich and a plastic bottle of milk and some cereal at the drug store, so Celia and I didn't have to go out for dinner. We just sat in the room and ate and shared experiences. Celia had applied for a job as a 911 dispatcher. She was not optimistic because someone with experience in law enforcement had also applied. And she had applied for the waitress job and would be told in a day or two if she was hired. She thought that they were waiting to see if anyone with experience applied for that also. I checked my phone and found a voicemail from a local number. It was the Reverend Fletcher, saying I could reach him tonight if I wanted. I called his home number, and his daughter answered. I said, "Hi Amy, it's Blossom Miyamoto. Is the Reverend home?" Amy replied, "Oh, Hi Blossom. It's nice to hear from you. Are you planning to visit our church?" I said, "Possibly. Celia and I have decided to leave Las Vegas and have moved to the Reno area. We were hoping to get some advice from your father about places to live and work." She replied, "Cool, I'd love to get to know the women who rescued me." Then I said, "Oh, Amy. I am not going by my, umm, stage name anymore. I am going by my true name, Akira Helen Watson. Just call me Helen. Could you please NOT tell anyone that 'Blossom' is in town? I want to leave BLOSSOM behind me. Especially since there may be people who are looking for BLOSSOM who I would rather not find me." Amy replied excitedly, "Oh, of course not, Helen. Could you tell me what's going on? I'd really like to help." It was clear that like most young people, Amy loved mystery and intrigue. I said, "I suppose so if you promise not to spread it around. Maybe we could talk later? In the meantime, can I talk to your father?" Amy replied, "Oh, Sure Blossom, err, I mean, Helen." Then she ran, and a little time later the Reverend came on and said, "Hi, Helen. Amy told me you're in Reno. I'd still like to see you in church." I said, "I will try to come in the next few weeks Reverend I will also ask Celia, who is here with me. But for now, I was hoping you might have a line on places to work and live in the Sparks area. He said, "Oh, I'm happy to hear that Celia is here too. Have you both decided to repent your sins and adopt a more moral lifestyle?" The reverend had a disconcerting ability to speak pleasantly while accusing a person of the basest outrages. I replied coldly, "I have decided to try to do something that is less self-destructive than prostitution. But that is not the real reason I left. I'm pregnant. Had I stayed in Las Vegas; I would have had a lot of pressure to get an abortion. My child is innocent and deserves to have a chance at life. That is why I left." The Reverend was silent for several moments. I think he was parsing what I said. Finally, he replied, "That is a good and moral decision, Helen. I'm sure God is pleased with you." I decided it was time to get the conversation back on track and said, "So, Reverend. I have already gotten a job with the Central Sparks Pediatric Clinic. I am still looking for an evening job. I will need that to live and care for my child when he or she is born. I have applied to the Sparks Drug Store for evening work. I am interested if you know of any other jobs that have some relationship to health care. Or if you have any suggestions or know anyone involved in health care that might have suggestions?" The Reverend said, "Oh, the Central Sparks Pediatric Clinic is owned and managed by a Chinese transvestite. We are telling parishioners not to go there. You should quit and find other work." I counted to three and said, "We have had this conversation before. Dr. Ikeda is an American of Japanese descent. He is not Chinese in any sense, not that it would be bad if he were since the Chinese are the originators of a marvelous civilization and Chinese immigrants to the US have made many great contributions to our society. Furthermore, Dr. Ikeda is transgender, not a Transvestite. Most transgender people, like most people, are very moral, so that is no reason to keep away from Dr. Ikeda. And no, I will not quit that job on the basis that he is transgender." He told me, "You are only saying that because your sinful ways have corrupted you. I have studied the bible for years, and I know what it says, and it says the woman should cleave onto their husband. I think I know what is right better than a Chinese prostitute." I took a deep breath and realized that we fundamentally disagreed and did not connect. The Reverend considered the bible the inerrant basis of all morality, and believed he knew exactly what the bible said. I did not. And I would bet that any help The Reverend gave me would come at the cost of going along with his beliefs, which I would not do. So, I said, "Sorry I troubled you Reverend. Goodbye." I hung up. As Elvis, I had never been comfortable with people with rigid beliefs who refused even to consider that another person might have a different take on an issue and still be honest and well-intentioned. Such people occurred among conservative Christians, radical Moslems, right-wing Republicans, and so-called progressive Democrats and Socialists. They could not listen to other people and share views without anger and hatred. And they thought pure believers such as themselves should never compromise, even if it meant they would be forever at war with others. As Helen, I felt the same. I told Celia what had happened and asked if she would like me to call him back and apologize and try to get some advice on jobs and apartments. She said, "No, I don't think I want to spend any time with someone like that either. I want to do something positive, not be overwhelmed with criticism for mistakes I've made in the past." I got into work at the Pediatrician's Office by 8:00 the next morning. I put on my uniform from the day before and asked what I could do. The doctor gave me a list of items that were supposed to be in the examination rooms and asked me to check that. I did so, although I had to search around to be sure I had found all the supplies in each room. After I finished, I asked Aiko how I would refill the supplies. She gave me a key to a storage room on the other side of the building, and I loaded the supplies I needed into a box, although it seemed we were low on some. So, I went through the list of supplies the Doctor had given me and inventoried the storage room. I updated the supplies in the exam rooms and then asked Aiko if she ordered supplies, as we were low on several items. She said, "No. You do. Here's the web site." I quickly went online, used the login Aiko gave me and placed an order. I finished just before our first appointment. I greeted a mother and her daughter, about 11. I brought them to exam room one and went through the questions I was supposed to ask and wrote down the answers. Then I went and found the doctor and told him his first appointment was ready. After that, I checked the reception room and found the next appointment was there, so I brought the 8-year-old boy and his mother back to Exam room two and went through the questions. This time I stayed and tried to put them at ease. The boy was in for a physical exam for football, so he was feeling fine. I had gotten along well with children as Elvis. I had had to babysit my sister often and found I could understand a child's point of view and communicate well with him or her. So, when a neighbor occasionally asked me to babysit, I was happy to do it. However, such jobs were not frequent. Parents did not trust boys to babysit their children, particularly girl children. However, I had babysat enough to work up a little routine that I used to interact with children and used it with this boy. It worked fine to identify common interests, and I noticed that the mother was at ease with me talking to the boy. That was one advantage of being female. After I got them settled in, I went out and checked the schedule and realized the Doctor was still with the first patient and the third appointment of the day was already there. This was an OB-GYN patient. She was a teen Hispanic girl. She was with a teen boy and seemed very nervous. I asked if she was feeling OK, and she said, "I suppose." Then I asked if I could bring her some water or anything else. She bleakly joked, "How about a lifetime supply of birth control?" I sat down beside her and said, "I'm sorry you're so unhappy. I' sure the Doctor will be available soon. He is a very good person to talk to." Then she looked at me and said, "Are you happy you're pregnant?" I laughed and joked, "I'm happy enough now, but maybe in five months I may change my mind." It was a bad joke. She looked like she was going to cry, so I sat closer and said, "Look, I, we, are not unique among women in having to deal with this. Other women have been able to successfully birth and raise a child, and we can too." I smiled at her, and she brightened up a little. She put her head close to mine so the boy could not hear and shared how she had given in to temptation and had sex with him. But they must have used the condom wrong. She missed a period and a drug store test showed she was pregnant. Then she found her boyfriend wasn't interested in having a child at this time. He said he needed an education to have any shot at a decent life, and this was his only chance. He was urging her to get an abortion. She said he was a nice guy. He was paying for this doctor's visit and would pay for the abortion if she had one. Then the boy asked her what we were saying, and she smiled at him and just said, "Just girl's stuff. It's nothing you would be interested in." He turned red and resumed reading his magazine. I remembered that as Elvis, I had not wanted to be involved in any conversations about 'girl's stuff.' She had been raised a Catholic and didn't believe in abortion but, faced with having to raise a child alone and missing her own best chance to get an education, she was considering it. First, she needed to have a doctor confirm the pregnancy. I told her this Doctor was very good and would have good advice for her. She looked at her boyfriend, and brought her head close to mine again and said, "How can a man give us advise on this? He will never know what we're going through." I just reiterated that the Doctor was very good. Then the first patient was done, and Aiko was making a follow-up appointment, while I hustled into the open examination room and did a quick clean and disinfect. Then I brought the Latina into Exam Room One and asked the questions I was supposed to ask, and went and handed the Doctor the little plasticized note that said the patient in exam room one was ready. Then I went back to the exam room and kept the girl company until the next patient came in. The entire morning went like that and when lunchtime came at 12:30, I was happy to get a break. I had planned to walk a few blocks to main street and look for someplace to buy a sandwich. But the Doctor wanted to show me how to do other simple tests he would like to have done before he saw a patient and to show me how to enter the information from the interview and the tests into the computer. I was busy all lunch hour and the afternoon was as busy as the morning. By 5 PM, I was very tired and hungry. As I was changing and preparing to walk back to the motel, the Doctor asked me if I wanted to help him at the free clinic tonight. Aiko could not come, and the Doctor could use the help. I would rather have headed back and gotten a sandwich and started looking for permanent housing. But this was an opportunity to learn some medical procedures and get to know the Doctor better. I said "Sure" and after the office had been cleaned and prepared for the next day, I climbed into the Doctor's car. He went to his condo first and spent a while changing, into a woman. I looked at her quizzically and raised one eyebrow. She said, "Hey, I'm volunteering. I will dress as I want. If someone refuses treatment for that reason, it's their loss. You can call me Lily when I dress." I smiled and nodded. When Lily finished, I saw what she meant by not passing very well. It was mainly her face. It had hard edges, a prominent Adam's apple, and a masculine look that couldn't quite be covered up by makeup. The Doctor saw me looking and said, "When I have the SRS, I will also have some face and rib surgery to help me pass better. Then she said, "Can I buy you some dinner before the clinic." I instantly said, "Yes. Please." We stopped at a local Mexican restaurant, and I had a taco salad. While it was coming, we talked. I found out that Aiko and the Larry were sister and brother and had been good friends all their lives. When Larry had come out, both Aiko's father and husband threatened to cut off contact between the Doctor and their families. Aiko had raised hell with both of them and said she would take her children and leave if they did any such thing. And to cap it off, she had volunteered to help Larry get his practice established. That had infuriated both men, but after she had been on the warpath for a few weeks, they knew she meant business and finally capitulated and allowed contact with Larry. I said, "So Aiko is a heroine?" Lily smiled and said, "I think so." I told her that my girlfriend and I were looking for someplace permanent to live in Sparks and asked Doctor Ikeda if she had any recommendations. Unfortunately, Lily didn't. But she promised to ask her contacts around town and tell me if she heard about any good apartment openings. The free clinic was interesting. Not surprisingly, it was focused on OB- GYN and pediatrics. There were free clinics on other nights for other issues. Despite the focus, there were man men there. Most of the patients were Mexican immigrants, and Mexican families are very strong. The men just would not let their wives and girlfriends and daughters go to the clinic alone at night. With the men there, the women would also bring all their children, and while they were seeing the doctor, the husband could care for the children. As a result, it was a very busy place. I did basically what Aiko and I did at work, tried to maintain an appointment list, got required information from patients and parents before the doctor saw them, and, if possible, did some basic blood pressure and temperature measurements. I was busier than a cat on a hot tin roof. About an hour and a half in, there was a commotion near the entry. Then a boy came down and said something in Spanish. I don't understand Spanish, but then a woman came up and almost dragged me to the entrance. I got there, and a man was lying on the floor. He was about 50 and was tanned and looked like he worked outside. People talked to me in Spanish. I kept saying that I don't understand. Then, the clinic interpreter came up and listened and said, "Senor Garcia just fell. He won't say anything." I went over to the man. He was lying on his stomach. Elvis's army medic training kicked in, and I went over and attempted to roll the man onto his back, but he weighed over 200 lbs. I asked the interpreter, "Can you or someone help me roll him on his back?" She said something to a couple of men nearby, and they did as I asked. Then I got on my knees. I was still fairly agile. Thank God I wasn't further along. I put my hand on the man's shoulders and shook him a little and asked, "Can you hear me? Are you all right?" He did not respond. Then I pulled his chin up while pushing his forehead down and listened for breathing and put my cheek a little away from his mouth to see if I could feel air blowing. No. Then I put one hand on his Carotid. Nothing. Damn. I told the interpreter, "Call 911. Now." I opened his mouth and felt for obstructions. There weren't any. Then I breathed in and put my lips on his and forcefully pushed air into his mouth. His chest hardly moved. So, I tried again harder. This time the chested puffed up as I'd intended. Then I repeated. Two breaths. Then I got up and put my two hands on his breastbone and pushed 30 times at half- second intervals. Again, it took much more effort than I remembered to push the breastbone down the 5 cm that was required to compress the heart. Of course, I was Helen now, not the strong, athletic Elvis. Now I was in the CPR mode. Give him two breaths of air. Then thirty chest compressions. Then take a brief look for any signs of recovery. Not seeing any improvement, repeat. The room had gone silent. I repeated the sequence at least twenty times, getting more and more tired each sequence. Finally, I heard a siren, but it seemed like it took forever to get here. In the meantime, I kept at it, breath, breath, compress chest thirty times, check response, again and again. By the time the medics arrived, I was exhausted. One of them took my hands off his chest, and said, "OK, girly; we'll take over now. Stand down. Do you know what's going on?" I gasped and said, "Maybe some of his friends know. He was completely unresponsive when I came up. No obstructions in his mouth." The guy said, "OK. Thanks. And he started the sequence, but with much less effort. His partner got out a shock kit. I stood there to watch, but one of the Mexican women put her arms around me and took me to an empty chair. She said, "Let the men do their job, Chica. You need to save some energy for your baby." I smiled at her and sat down and said, "Thanks, Maam." But my heart was racing, and I was breathing heavily, and my head had started aching. 'I need to get into shape,' I thought. But I realized it was not as simple as that. The spells fixed my physical form, and I could do little or nothing about it. After I started feeling better, I got up and went back to my worktable and tried to get back into the flow of helping Doctor Ikeda. We stayed until almost 10 PM. Dr. Ikeda refused to leave any patients untreated. As time went along, I started seeing and talking to patients who had witnessed Mr. Garcia's collapse. They all noted my role in it and thanked me. I noticed they all called me Chica. I asked the interpreter what it meant, and she said, "It means 'Little Girl." Great, I thought, I'm a pregnant little girl. Dr. Ikeda drove me home, so I didn't have to walk in the dark. She complimented me, telling me I was very hard working and very organized. Then she said it was great that I had been there to help the man who collapsed. I hadn't been aware she had known that was going on. She explained she hadn't spent a lot of time or effort on emergency medicine, so she didn't feel she needed to get involved after she had seen what I was doing. I got home at about a quarter to 11. But Celia was not there. I was always worried that she would relapse into either drugs or prostitution or both. I thought about staying awake and waiting for her, but she was a grown woman, and I was very tired. I awoke when she finally came home at 2 AM. She was wearing a waitress's uniform. I was relieved. We stayed awake for an hour catching each other up what we had done. The last thing I did was look at my phone and note that the drug store had called and wanted me to return the call as soon as I could. I would call tomorrow morning at break. I awoke early enough to be at the Doctor's Office by 8:00 the next day, but I missed breakfast again. Not good for the baby. I had to figure this out. The Office was very busy, and I missed my break. So, I couldn't call the drugstore until lunch. Then they said they would like to hire me for evening work on a probationary basis but would withdraw the offer if I physically couldn't do the work. They wanted me to come in tonight. OK, I could do that. It would mean another day where I had no leisure time in the evening. But if I wanted two jobs that was going to happen. I got to the drugstore a half hour early and contacted the assistant manager I'd talked to when I applied. She brought me to an 'employees' break room,' assigned a locker, and gave me a company shirt to wear. She said I would get a name badge in a week or so. The shirt was very big, and I asked if they had a woman's petite medium. She said, "No, but I will order a couple now that I know we need them." I was sure that the assistant manager would only order these things after I showed I could do the job. The assistant manager told me that I needed to buy a lock for my locker, and that locks were for sale on the floor. The employee discount would apply. I thanked her and went into the ladies' room and changed. I hung my blouse up in my locker and went out on the floor and bought a lock. The employee discount was 30%, so it wasn't too expensive. Then I went back to the employee break room and was sure to lock my purse in the locker. I was carrying, and I didn't want the weapon lying around. Then I reported for work, 10 minutes early. I spent all three+ hours until 9 handling stock. They had not stocked shelves since yesterday when they decided to hire me provisionally and test whether I could do the job. They gave me lists of items to stock and the location in the store. It took a while to learn the store and stock room organization. After that, the only challenge was that some of the stock was very heavy. In particular, there were several rows of grocery items to be stock. Some of the stock, particularly canned goods and wine and other beverage bottles, was very heavy. I did have a cart, so it wasn't as though I had to carry heavy boxes from the stock room to the floor. But I did have to load the cart in the stock room and unload it at the shelf. There were some large items in boxes that I couldn't easily lift, and I took those items out of the box and put them in the cart individually. They also had some new deliveries that I had to transport from the loading dock and organize them in the stock room. In that case, I had to deal with the entire box at one time, no matter how heavy it was. I couldn't directly lift heavy boxes onto the cart. Instead, I had to reposition things until the height of the lift to the cart was small. Then I would pick up one end and put it on the cart and then slide the rest on. I was slower than a man or strong woman who could pick the box up, but I could do the job. I managed to finish everything the manager had given me to do, mainly by just keeping at it and not taking any breaks. All told, I did far more physical work than I had ever done before as Helen. Because I was still tired from the evening before, my muscles were fatigued, almost twitching, by the time I finished. But it felt good to know that I could do almost everything I could do as Elvis. I just had to be a little cleverer than before. I was not helpless, even if I had much less strength. When we closed at 9, the assistant manager checked and told me she was surprised at what I had accomplished. She hired me permanently but part- time. She said I would work weekdays from 5 to 9 and occasionally be asked to come in and cover shifts on Saturday and Sunday. And she wanted me to work tomorrow. I told her the Doctor had asked me to work at a free clinic on Thursday nights. Was there any chance of switching things around a little? The assistant manager, it turned out, had gone to a free clinic herself when she was young, and so she was sympathetic. She let me off Thursday nights. The hours were great, and I was happy that I had a second job. I needed two jobs; especially since both jobs were part-time. But now that I thought about it, the doctor had me working full time. I was happy to work for her full-time. But I needed to know what to expect, so I had to sit down with the doctor and talk about this, along with other things, like pay. Before I left the drugstore, I bought some peanut butter using the employee discount. They didn't carry fresh bread, so I still needed to go to a grocery store before I could start making sandwiches for lunch. I had to walk home in the dark again. It was a little less than a mile, but I cut over to the main road, which increased the distance but required less time on dimly lit back streets. I got home at 10 PM. Another day with no time to look for permanent housing. We might have to stay at the motel for a while longer. I went to bed soon after I got home and woke at 6:30 the next morning. I had time to prepare myself for work at the drugstore and eat some cereal and milk for breakfast. My duties at the drugstore were different than my first day. I did a little stocking and cleaning up. But I learned the cash register, and I spent a couple of hours helping in the pharmacy. Apparently, the man I was filling in for usually helped in the pharmacy, so it was natural to put me there. I was pleased with that. It was an opportunity to use some of what I had learned as a medic, while I also refreshed my knowledge of pharmacology. I was impressed with how methodical the pharmacy was at keeping track of prescription items. And they were all about customer service. If someone had a problem with a prescription, or if an item wasn't in stock, they aggressively tried to solve the problem right away. I decided that when I needed a prescription, this is where I would come. The employee discount would help too. One convenient thing for employees was that they sold energy bars and items that I could microwave for lunch. I wound up eating an energy bar that Saturday and going for a walk. I have to say that while I loved working at the doctor's office, a lower-key day here at the drugstore was nice. 22. Brad, New Friends, and a New Apartment xxxxx When I got back to the motel at 6, I had missed Celia again. She left me a note with her schedule. She waited on table Wednesday through Saturday, 6 PM to 2 AM. Then she worked from 11 AM to 7 PM Sunday. Bummer. When were we going to be able to get out to look for apartments? Well, it was Saturday night. I was feeling a progressively increasing agitation because I hadn't had rough sex for over a week. I couldn't just sit in the motel room and relax. I added some makeup, combed my hair in a more festive way, touched up my lipstick, put on a nicer dress that showed some skin, and decided to go out to where Celia was working and maybe have some dinner. I took my pistol with me, as I would be walking in the dark later on. I got to the restaurant where Celia was working, and they asked if I had a reservation. I said no, but I was just going to the bar. Would that be all right? The food service section was happy to move me to bar service, even though I probably did not look to be of drinking age. A too youthful appearance had been a problem in Las Vegas too, so I had purchased a duplicate ID in the name of Helen Watson with an age of 21. I sat at the bar and looked around the restaurant for Celia. Then the bar waiter came up and asked for my ID. I showed him the one that said I was 21, and he looked at the picture and verified it was me. Then I ordered a light beer and asked about Celia. He laughed and pointed to the woman mixing drinks and said, "That her?" I laughed too and said, "Yes. Would you tell her Helen is here looking for her?" "Sure thing," the man said. A few minutes later, Celia came up. She was wearing a cocktail dress with a bar apron over it. She had a big smile and talked loudly and confidently. She seemed as happy as I've ever seen her. I said, "I didn't know you tended bar, Celia." She said, "Yeh, I learned over 10 years ago. I enjoyed it. Don't know why I ever left it." Then she said, "Here's your beer. Are you sure you want it?" I said, "I shouldn't, I guess. Pregnant and all." She said, "And you are already skinny. You shouldn't be drinking diet beer. How about I make you a Shirley Temple? No charge if you get something to eat." I said, "Sure. Can I get a menu?" So, she brought one over. As she handed me the menu, Celia said, "Helen, I had visions of you sitting in the room watching TV by yourself. I'm glad you came out. You look nice." I said, "Yeh, as nice as a skinny, pregnant 15-year-old girl can look, I guess." She replied, "Oh, Helen. You look very pretty, and you know it. What are you up to tonight? Are you looking for companionship?" I said, "Maybe. Depends." She said, "Well, this is a hookup bar. If you just stay here and look pretty and talk to me on and off, I bet one of the college kids who come in here will talk to you." I said, "College kids?" She replied, "Yes, most older men will look at you and see jailbait, at least any that are smart enough to be worth being with." 'Great,' I thought. But sure enough, a guy who looked a couple of years older than me came over and asked if I wanted company. That was an OK pickup line, giving me an out if not. I said, "Sure, I'm Helen." He said, "I'm Brad. How're you doing?" I replied, "Pretty good. How about yourself?" He said, "Fine. I saw them card you, so I know you're legal. You know you look pretty young." I said, "Really, I'm 27." He laughed and said, "Bullshit. If I didn't know you were of drinking age, I would've guessed 14, 16 at the oldest." I said, "You'd have been wrong. I'm 21." He shook his head and said, "Right." Then he said, "Hey, I'm at a table with a couple of friends, each with a date. I could use some feminine companionship myself. How about joining us?" So, I got my drink and my menu and walked over to his table and sat down with him and his friends. He introduced me to John and Cindy and Gil and Zoe. All five of them were juniors at the University of Nevada in Reno. The men were members of the Tau Kappa Alpha fraternity. They were congenial company and told me a lot about themselves and their school. Brad was a physics student. That got my interest up, and I asked him some questions about what was going on in Cern. One of my favorite magazines was Discover, and I had read a lot about Cern and understood some of it. Brad, for his part, was surprised at my interest and asked me if I was a college student. I said, "No. My parents had no money for school. My sister and I lived with my Aunt who has been very sick. So, I set out to make my way in life. I spent a few months in Vegas as a showgirl but decided it wasn't for me. I just moved up here. I'm interested in being a nurse or physician's assistant, but now I'm working as office staff for a pediatrician, and I have a second job in a drugstore." All of them had noticed I was pregnant and asked me about that. I said, "I miscalculated my pill timing when my boyfriend and I had sex, and here I am. My boyfriend bailed. He moved without telling me where. I don't believe in abortion, so I will have the child." The girls at the table agreed that my hypothetical boyfriend was a bastard, although they thought I was crazy not to have an abortion. The boys remained silent -- a good decision. Brad said, "Geez, don't the kids at the Pediatrician's office bother you. Screaming kids drive me crazy." I said, "No, most of them are pretty nice. And the ones that aren't nice are having difficulty expressing their feelings. As an adult, it's my responsibility to show them how to express themselves. Actually, kids are often more mature than men." I had meant the latter as a joke, but Zoe laughed and said, "You got that right." Then Brad asked, "So, Helen. We're going to a fraternity dance tonight. Are you interested in going with me as my date? I had a date, but she couldn't make it last minute. I guarantee you a good time." I was a little surprised at his courage to ask a total stranger to be his date. But I supposed in his position; it was a chance to have a date to the dance or not. He seemed like a nice guy, and it sounded like fun. I said, "How would I get back here? He said, "I promise I will drive you home, wherever that is." I finally said OK, after all five assured me I had dressed well enough and that it would be fun. I went over and told Celia where I was going, and she said to have a good time. The dance was fun. I would have liked to have heels on, like most of the girls, but my flats were nice enough. Elvis had enjoyed dancing, unlike many boys. And with the experience she had had as a showgirl, Helen loved it. Brad wasn't so enthusiastic, particularly when it came to fast interpretive type dancing. So, I badgered him to dance every time there was a slow dance. In the end, we danced at least a quarter of the dances. And when Brad wouldn't dance, I received a few offers from other guys. I even danced with the fraternity president and vice president, who were making the rounds. When I wasn't dancing, I was talking to Brad and his four friends. Zoe and I seemed to get along well. She wanted to be a lawyer and provide legal service to the poor, although she admitted that many of the poor caused their own problems and a lawyer wasn't going to keep them out of trouble. I told her that although I would settle for being a Physician's assistant or ad Nurse Practitioner, I really wanted to be a doctor. Then she tried to convince me to apply for all kinds of loans and scholarships and start school ASAP. She came from a very wealthy family and thought that money came easily. I told her that I didn't want to owe my first-born to some bank for the sake of going to school, holding my baby bump to emphasize it. She laughed. Zoe went through the numbers and showed me that using my strategy; it would take 15 years to get a medical degree. I said, "Hey, I have a kid to raise. I couldn't start school tomorrow if I won the lottery and had all the money in the world." She replied, "What, you're going to raise that child, the child of the bastard that got you pregnant and then abandoned you. Get real, girl. There're hundreds of childless couples who would love to give your child a home and a fabulous future. Adopt it out." What would she think if she knew the true story, that I might be raising the child of the man who raped and beat me? I told her I would think about it. But I knew in my heart that I didn't want to give anyone my child. He or she was my responsibility, and I was not going to fail them. Plus, as time went along, I found myself feeling an emotion that I'd never even contemplated feeling, maternal love. It was taking me over, and I couldn't avoid it. Probably because of one of the spells. At the end of the dance, we three couples went our separate ways. I hugged Zoe and said I had enjoyed talking to her, and she said she hoped to see me around. I had the impression that John was going to get lucky, but I didn't know if Gil would. Zoe was very intense, and there seemed to be some friction in their relationship. As for me, I was praying that Brad would try to get lucky. I thought I could talk him into spanking me while making love and giving me release from the spell requiring abusive sex. But even aside from the spell, I was horny. I had been that way for the last few months. I decided it must be because of the hormones from pregnancy, preparing my body for childbirth. My breasts were swelling. I was now a 26 B, no longer an A. Brad asked if I wanted to see a spectacular viewpoint, and I said that sounded great. He drove up a winding road into the mountains and stopped at a parking place overlooking Reno. Brad pointed out some features of Reno, and I found him getting closer and closer, and finally, I turned toward him, and he was right there. I asked him, "Brad, are you trying to seduce me?" He said, "What if I am? Is that so bad? You seem to enjoy being with me." I said, "Yes, I am." And he put his arms around me and kissed me. He was a fabulous kisser. He then moved his hand from around my waist and put it on my breast, my 26 B breast. He caressed me while he kissed me. It felt wonderful, and I turned toward him more. I said, "Why don't you come out from behind that steering wheel so we can be closer." He scooted over to my side of the car, and I turned and swung my far leg over him, so I was in a cowgirl position and kissed him again. I think I surprised him by being so forward, but he soon adjusted, and we were kissing again. Then he pulled back a little and said I was beautiful, and I had danced so well. He said I was very feminine, and he enjoyed being with me. Then he started undoing my buttons on the back and soon had my blouse down and my bra off, and he was caressing my breasts directly. I told him it felt wonderful. Then I stood up on my knees, and he started licking and sucking my breasts. I was getting very turned on, and I reached down and undid his belt and zipper. It was awkward in the front seat like that. Brad was over six feet and muscular. I was just under average height for a woman, 5' 6", although very skinny. But he managed to undo the button on my skirt and pull it and the slip up high on my body. He spent a few minutes caressing my ass through my panties, while I unbuttoned his shirt so I could feel his chest. I sat back on his knees so I could get his cock out of his pants and hold it. Then he slid a little further down on the seat, so his knees were touching the dashboard. I stood up on my knees again and positioned myself above his cock. He pulled my panties aside, and I slowly lowered myself onto him. I moaned in pleasure. I kissed him again and said, "Brad, will you do something for me?" He said, "Sure, Babe. What do you want?" I said, "While we're having sex, could you spank me?" He said, "What? No, I don't want to hurt you. I don't get off on that." Kudos for him. I replied, "Please, Brad. I need it. It's important to me." He said, "OK, but I'd better slide back, so I have room." We shifted around a little, and he started pounding me. I felt nice, and I slowly became more and more aroused. And I was shaking my boobs right in his face, so I think he enjoyed that because, occasionally, he would snag a tit in in mouth. We laughed about that. I decided that now was the time, and I said, "Brad. Spank me now." But he was too considerate, and it felt like a little tap. I said, "Harder, Brad, spank me harder." So, he wound up and slapped hard. I think, at first, he was concerned that he had hit me too hard, but I came in a thunderous orgasm, partly fueled by the pain of the spank, and partly by the hormones flowing through my body. I think the sight of me shaking and gasping pushed him over the edge, and he started groaning, and soon I felt his cock twitch and semen pumping into my pussy. That felt great and prolonged my orgasm. We stayed in that close embrace for several minutes. Then I pulled my head off his shoulder, and kissed him gently and said, "Thank you, Brad. That was wonderful. I loved it." He looked at me and said, "Thank You, Helen. You're a very passionate woman." Then I kissed him again and said, "I better get off of you, or I will be leaking all over your pants." He laughed and said, "I think it's too late." I replied, "We can avoid the worst of it." Then I opened the door, stuck my left leg out and use it to push myself off him, and I then got out of the car. I used a clean Kleenex to wipe the semen that was leaking out, applied a pad from my purse, pulled my panties on and pulled down my slip and skirt. I retrieved my bra and blouse and put them on and reached back and tucked my blouse into my skirt and buttoned it up. Then I looked out and saw a car about 20 feet away from us, with the guy and girl looking out the window at me. I turned red and hastened back into the car. Brad had gotten his t-shirt back down and his pants up. When I jumped in, he asked, "What's wrong, Helen." I said, "There's another car out there." He looked out. Then he put his hand where they could see him and gave them a thumbs up. The guy in other the car did the same. I guess it was funny, because Brad laughed, and I could see the other guy was laughing. I was embarrassed. But there was nothing to be done about it, so I just huddled close to Brad, and he hugged me again. Somehow, that made it a little better. We talked a little. I said how much I'd enjoyed the evening, and he agreed with me. We kissed some more, and Brad continued to feel me up. It felt good, and I returned the favor. But after a while, I started feeling tired and asked Brad to drive me home. When we got back to the motel, Brad hugged me again and started to feel me up. But we were in a motel parking lot with people coming by occasionally, so I said I had to go in. He asked for my phone number, and I gave it to him. He said he would call me. I went into the motel and noted it was 3 AM. I took off my soiled clothing and took a bath. Then I put on a nightgown and crawled into bed. I got up in time to have some breakfast with Celia. I told her I didn't think we would have time to look for an apartment this week, so we should tell the motel we were staying for another week. I could call around some today. If I found something in our price range, which was about $1300 per month, I could see it, and if I liked it, she could go separately. She agreed that this was a good way to handle searching for an apartment. I also said I was going to a laundromat and would be happy to do her clothes with mine if she put out what she wanted washed. So, she went through her stuff and put a bag of clothing out. Then she asked me how last night had been. I said I had a great time at the dance. She asked me about later, and I turned red, and she laughed at me. Then she said she had gone out with a cop after her shift was over. I cautioned her to make sure he was a good guy. She said, "Yes, Mother." Point taken, Celia's a grown-up and didn't need me worrying about her. After she left, I gathered up my clothing and hers and walked a couple of blocks down the road to a strip mall where I had seen a laundromat. At this early hour, there were plenty of machines available. While the clothes were washing and drying, I looked up apartments in Sparks on my phone and found four that were in my price range. I called them all. One did not answer, one was rented already, and two were available for viewing today. I told them I would be by later, and the apartment manager said OK. I was almost through washing when I got a call from Brad. He said he had gotten up early and finished some homework and asked if I wanted some lunch. I said sure, and he said he would be over in about 45 minutes. I told him I might be at the laundromat for a while. He said he would pick me up there. I told him where it was, and he said goodbye. There were no endearments, no romance, no compliments, no thanks, just goodbye. Oh well, some guys were like that, all business. But, somehow, I was a little disappointed. We had shared some very intimate moments last night, and it would be nice if he told me he cared a little, anyway. Thinking about it made me realize how much Elvis had changed. He hadn't particularly given a dam if anyone said they cared for him or not. They did or they didn't, and he would deal. But Helen just couldn't. Helen wanted, dare I say it, needed some romance from any male friend she dated. I guess wanting to be with me for lunch was sort of romantic. But I got the impression that Brad's main interest in a different sort of romance. Should I do that? Should I be that easy? On the one hand, it would extend the time before I needed to find abusive sex another day. On the other hand, if I wanted Brad to respect me, should I have sex whenever he requested it? And did it matter if Brad respected me? I didn't know. I wished I could talk to a female relative or friend about these issues. OK, how about Celia? I texted Celia to give me a call when she could. Anyone else? Somehow, I thought of the Doctor. I think we were friends. And I bet she had thought of things like this. She was very introspective and insightful. On the other hand, did I want to call my employer and tell her I had sex last night and ask if I should have sex again today? Would she think I was a slut and revise her opinion of me downward? There was a very real chance she would. Hmm, think, think, think. So, I called the Doctor on her cell. She answered and said, "Hello, this is Dr. Ikeda." I said, "Hi, Doctor. This is Helen. How are you this beautiful day." She said brightly, "Hello, Helen. I'm fine. How about you?" I said, "I'm good, Lily. I wondered if you had a few minutes to chat?" She said, "Sure, what about?" I said, "It's a friend thing, not a Doctor thing." She seemed surprised. But she said, "Go ahead." I said, "Well, Last night after work at the drugstore, I went to visit the friend with whom I'd traveled to Sparks, Celia is her name. She works at the longhorn restaurant, as a bartender. Anyway, while I was there, I met a guy and he asked me out to a fraternity dance. Well, I went, and we had a great time. And afterward he took me up to a parking space overlooking Reno, and we sort of had sex." Lily laughed and said, "How do you sort of have sex, Helen?" I replied, "I guess I didn't want to say that I had sex on a first date. But yes, we had wild, passionate sex. In his car." She kidded me, "Oh, in his car. You both must be very athletic." I laughed and said, "A little athletic and a lot horny." Then I said, "Well, he just called me and wants to see me today. I think he wants to have sex again. Do you think I should?" Lily said, "Are you afraid he might think you're a slut?" I said, "Yes. I must seem like a slut already. But having sex again would remove all doubt." She said, "Maybe. After you had sex did he take you out somewhere to get some food or drinks or just to talk?" I said, "No. He just brought me back to the motel where I'm staying." She said, "Hmm, so it doesn't seem like he thinks you both might have fallen in love at first sight. It seems that he thinks of you as a willing sex partner, not a lover. Is that OK with you?" I said, "I don't know. If we're in a sexual relationship, I would like him to care for me and respect me? I guess loving me would be too much to ask given how little we've been together. I'm not sure I could fall in love with him. He's very distant." Lily said, "So, friends with benefits. That might be the best you two can be. If that is it, maybe it would be OK for him just to call and expect to come over and have sex. Provided you feel OK about it and want the sex too." We chatted a little more. Then Lily said, "Helen, thank you for considering me a friend, and not just a boss. One of the most important things I want as a woman is a circle of women friends. And you are the first regular woman who had just approached me as a friend. Thank You." I realized she was almost crying. I said, "Thank you Lily, my good friend. I needed someone to talk to. Please feel free to call me if you need to talk." Then we both started to tear up. It took a while to get our goodbyes said. Lily was wrong about one thing. I wasn't a regular woman. I was as much a foreigner in the realm of womanhood as she was. But I had felt a warmth of sharing that was very good to have. I decided I also wanted a circle of woman friends. I knew that to have a friend, you had to be a friend. So, I decided to be willing to talk or share or help another woman when they needed it. There, I just thought it. 'Another woman.' I was accepting fully that I was a woman. I was also becoming more and more convinced that the witch's spell had messed with my mind as well as my body. As Helen, I was feeling more and more that the future I wanted was being a mother and a wife of a man who cared for me and who I could love and respect, someone like that guy a few months ago who was a little older than Elvis. What was his name, Sam? He had been so nice and so smart and interesting, and so sweet. Or maybe that younger guy, just out of high school, Danno. He had also been nice and sweet and had seemed to care for Helen. He was not as smart or mature as Sam, but almost. And he was physically very attractive. Maybe I should just cut Brad loose and look for someone more copesetic. But I needed the sex. I was horny in general. The need for rough sex the witches had laid on me meant I couldn't go without a sex partner, and I realized I preferred a male sex partner now. So, it seemed best to stay with Brad for now. A few minutes later, I got a call from Celia. She advised me essentially the same as Lily and added that if someone cared for me, they would overlook my not being pure, as long as I didn't cheat on my current main guy. Nobody expected purity of women anymore. Hmm, maybe. In another half hour, the clothes were dry, and Brad picked me up. He took me back to the motel. I took him up to the room and offloaded the clean clothes. Then I asked him if he would drive me out to see the apartments I was interested in. Brad seemed happy to do so. Both apartments were workable. But the first was a little beat up. It had been occupied by three college guys for a couple of years and was a mess. But I was assured it would be cleaned up and sanitized before I moved in. It was close to both places of work and close to the shops on the main drag, which was good. But it was noisy with lots of guys knocking around on a Sunday afternoon, and even a dog barking. Brad thought it was great, and that I should take it. But I decided to look a little more. The second place was similar to the first, but not as conveniently located. So, I eliminated it. On a whim, I called the place that I had not been able to reach earlier. I got the manager, and she said the apartment was open and available for viewing. Brad drove me over, and I looked at it. A couple with a baby lived there now. The wife was very nice, and the apartment was clean and tidy. She noticed I was pregnant and said my husband and I would love the place. I let that pass. And I connected well with the manager. She seemed responsible and on the same wavelength as me in terms of cleanliness and noise. She said they allowed pets, but they required a large deposit and had stringent rules. I said, "Thank God. A lot of dog owners think their animals are perfect, even though they yap or bark constantly and poop everywhere. I wouldn't want you to allow out of control dogs." The location for this third apartment I had looked at was not quite as convenient as for the first apartment. Brad thought the woman who managed this place was a control freak and recommended the first apartment. But I liked this place and decided I would pass on what I had seen to Celia and let her look at the two places and together we would make a choice. Then Brad took me back to my motel, and we had sex. It was not as wild and passionate as the night before, but he was gentle and considerate. He spanked me during sex, per my request. It triggered the orgasm due to the spell requiring rough sex, so I didn't have to worry about more rough sex until next Sunday. Brad took me out to dinner at a good hamburger place and then took me to a grocery store on the way home so I could pick up a few things for breakfast and lunch. I also bought new Discover and Economist magazines, so I had something to read. He even helped me carry the bags in. As he was setting the bags down, he happened to move my purse. He noted the weight and was surprised. He jokingly asked if I was carrying. I said, "Yes. I have to walk to work and back, sometimes in the dark. I'm not going to be a victim if I can help it. If some freak messes with me, I'm planning to shoot his ass off." Brad looked at me like he thought I was crazy. I don't think men appreciate how easily rape and worse can occur, especially for a small woman. I also don't think he believed I could be competent with a gun. Nonsense, I had a small weapon that I could shoot easily. No reason I couldn't be competent. And then I realized again how completely I was identifying as a woman in my thoughts. Brad only stayed for a few minutes after that. I think he was a little wary. I did tell him, "Oh, Brad. I'm not going to go crazy and start shooting just because of some minor thing. Give me some credit." He laughed, but still seemed worried. When he left, he didn't seem to want a kiss goodnight. I wondered if I would see him again. Oh well. About 7, I got a call from Amy Fletcher. I answered, "Hi, Amy. How're things?" She said, "OK, I guess." She hesitated a moment before continuing. She said, "I was hoping to get together and talk to you some time. But my father is mad at you. He's walking around telling everyone what a whore and a sinner you are. He doesn't know I'm calling you." I wasn't at all surprised. I replied, "Oh, Honey, "I'm sorry you're involved in this." She said, "Um. That's OK. It's not your fault. So, are you working with that Chinese transvestite my father keeps talking about?" I said, "Amy, she isn't Chinese. She grew up in America, attended American schools, and speaks perfect US English. She's as American as you and I. Besides, she's not a transvestite. She's transgender." Amy asked, "What's the difference?" I said, "Well, I'm not an expert on this, but I've looked it up on the internet. A transvestite is a man who likes to dress as a woman and occasionally pretend he's a woman. Someone who is transgender feels they should be of the opposite gender. They think they were born in a body of the wrong gender." She asked, "So they don't dress like a woman?" I replied, "Transgender people can be men who think they should have been women or women who think they should have been men. They do often dress in clothing of the opposite gender. But not always. Some of them hide their feelings, sometimes forever. And some of them kill themselves because they feel so trapped." She gasped when I said the latter. I continued, "And those who do confide in other people what they feel and then dress as the gender they feel is right are almost always ostracized and sometimes abused. The fact that they tell people despite that indicates how important these feelings are to them." She was very calm and composed, and said, "My father says they are immoral and disgusting, that they are defying God's plan and should be punished." I replied, "Amy, I have worked for the Doctor for only three days. But in that time, I've never seen her be anything other than kind and generous. I don't think she is immoral, and I don't think she is disgusting. The Doctor participates in a free clinic for the poor. She works free of charge, treating young and old every week for almost 5 hours." Then Amy seemed to make up her mind about something. She said, "Blossom, err, Helen, the church is planning to picket her office. I'm not sure when, not right away, but soon. They need to have a board meeting first. I'll try to call you back when I know anything more. You should know that some of the church members are mean people, much meaner than my Father. It could get crazy." I replied, "Thank you for telling me, Amy." She answered, "I owe you that, Helen." Then she started sobbing. I said, "Amy. It'll be OK. I'm sure it'll be OK." She said, "My father demanded I be there part of the time. I didn't want to, but I have to." Then she hung up. I called the Doctor and told her what I had learned. She was, of course, concerned and said she would call Aiko and they would decide what to do. She would talk to me in the morning. The next morning, I got up a little early and had breakfast and got to work at 8:15. Aiko and Dr. Ikeda were already there. They told me they had decided to get a video camera so they could record any misbehavior and inform the police of it. A police officer was going to come by and talk to us about what the limits on picketing were, so we would know if/when they exceeded legal limits. And Aiko was going to call everyone who had an appointment and tell them there might be pickets and give them the option to cancel. The early part of the week was routine. Doctor Ikeda asked if I would be willing to work fulltime. She and Aiko had talked, and Aiko wanted to be home more for her four children, now that someone they trusted was working at the office. They paid $12 at first and had health insurance. I said I would love to work full time. So, Aiko set about making sure I learned scheduling and other office procedures, as well as procedures for assisting Dr. Ikeda. I was a very busy girl, but I loved being busy, and l loved my job. I asked the doctor about other opportunities to learn so I could help more with patients. She got a friend from the Reno Hospital to come in and talk to me about what opportunities there were. I found that to work at all independently I had to go to school. I couldn't afford it, but Dr. Ikeda mentioned that in the future when her financial affairs were better off, she might be willing to help. Dr. Ikeda asked me to help at the free clinic again on Thursday, which I did willingly. Aiko took the opportunity to take the evening off and be with her family, so it was just the Doctor and me again. There were no emergencies for me to attend to this time. The family of the man to whom I had given CPR the previous week, came up and thanked me for that. They said he had had a triple bypass but had come through it OK. That was good. Being able to help people was the reason I had always been interested in the medical field. Then they gave me a package of homemade tamales and told me, "Eat lots Chica, your baby needs nutrition." Friday morning, I got a call from Amy saying that they would be picketing next Monday. I passed it on to the Doctor and Aiko, and I split up the patients scheduled for Monday and called them all. About 30% canceled, most of them with small children. They sympathized, and they were angry about it, but they just couldn't drag their children into a dicey situation. I couldn't blame them. The OB/Gyn patients all maintained their appointments. Most were really pissed off at the picketers, saying they didn't need anyone else telling them what was moral and immoral. Most parents with older children that could understand and learn from the experience also maintained their appointments. Aiko called a local company to install the video cameras the Doctor had purchased a few days before. She learned that the local company could get to it this weekend if someone could be there. The Doctor and Aiko had previous commitments, so the doctor asked me if I could be Saturday Morning. I thought it was no problem until the drugstore also asked me to work on Saturday during the day. But I managed to get it switched around so someone else could cover the morning and I could do the afternoon and evening. Everything would be fine if the company did the camera installation in the morning as planned and were not late Friday afternoon, Brad called and asked if I wanted to go out and have dinner and a drink after work. I guess he decided sex was important enough to risk being around a crazy Jap chick who carried a loaded weapon in her purse. I wished he'd have called me during the week. I would have enjoyed just talking to someone in the evening. I was tempted to blow Brad off, but my need for some form of abusive sex would kick in soon, so I accepted his offer. He picked me up from the drug store at 9 PM. We went out to a bar nearby, and he bought me fish and chips while he had a hamburger and a beer. I would have liked to have a beer too, but I just had a coke since I was pregnant. I asked him how he was doing, and he told me about his classes. God, I envied him that. Then, even though he didn't ask, I told him about being picketed next week. To my surprise, he didn't blame the picketers. He said he wasn't a religious nut and agreed that people had the right to lead the life they wanted. But he said that "Hey, Helen, it would be traumatic for a young girl using a public restroom to have a guy who claimed to be transgender come in to use it." I repeated some points I had seen on the web, "But Brad, an M2F transgender woman would only use a women's public restroom if she was dressed appropriately, in which case a young girl would not know. And in a school, they have a separate restroom for transgender girls." He said, "An M2F woman could make a mistake and show her/his penis." I said, "Sure. And a heterosexual guy could blunder into the restroom and zip down his pants and look around for a urinal while a young girl is there. I don't think we should outlaw heterosexual guys because of that. Look, with proper rules society can handle the bathroom issue. The protesters are not worried about that anyway. Their point is that transgender people are evil and they should be ostracized and punished. That's so 19th century." Then he said, "I've read that some perverts have pretended to be transgender and used the bathroom thing to get close to young girls. We shouldn't allow it." I replied, "Yeah, but perverts will find a way to be perverts whether they label themselves transgender or not. If not by pretending to be transgender, then some other way." In the end, Brad halfway came around and admitted that people who strongly felt they should have been born the opposite gender should be able to change gender and earn a living without harm or hindrance. But I remained very unhappy with him. My friend, Dr. Ikeda, would be affected by uninformed idiots and I wasn't in the mood for someone to tell me it was OK to ostracize transgender people, even if he changed his mind when I challenged him. Brad sensed this and told me, "Look, Helen, you're a very compassionate woman and a very passionate person. I understand you have a friend who is transgender and is the target of this picketing, so you are upset. But she does have a choice. She could just become a man again, and the picketing would go away." I replied, "I don't think she has a choice, Brad. She lived as a man for 26 years and was miserable." Brad said, "That's what she said. But you really know nothing about how it would feel being the wrong gender. You're obviously 100% girl and always have been and hate the idea of feeling like a girl and having to act like a boy. But are you sure your friend actually feels like a girl?" That shocked me. I wanted to tell Brad the truth, that I had once been a man. But the spell wouldn't even let me even formulate the words, let alone speak them. I was tempted to say that I was transgender M2F, just to yank his chain. But the spell wouldn't let me say anything. I guess Brad could see the steam coming off my forehead because he wisely suggested we talk about something else. After we finished dinner, we went to the motel room and had sex. It wasn't as good as it had been last week. I guess I was still ticked off. But it was good. Brad was a good lover, and I had that spell where he would spank my ass during sex, and I would orgasm. So, it was good sex. Brad told me it was great for him because when I orgasmed, my pussy clenched tight around his cock, and it was very pleasurable for him. He said that was an important factoid he had learned with me that he put in his vast store of knowledge about women. I just shook my head. Then Brad said he was glad things had gone well because he had half expected me to be on the rag given my general bitchiness that evening. I counted to three before saying anything. Then I counted to three again. Then I said, "Well, Brad, here's another factoid that you should add to your vast store of knowledge about women. Pregnant women don't have periods. Periods are nature's way of preparing a woman for pregnancy. After she is pregnant, she doesn't need periods. So, I couldn't possibly be on the rag." Then I took a deep breath and continued. "So, my bitchiness, as you call it, must be caused by something else since I'm not on the rag. It could be because I'm pregnant and starting to feel awkward and heavy and uncomfortable. But that's not the reason, which you could have found out if you'd asked about how I am. I'd have said I feel fine; I'm not feeling pregnancy much yet. I'm sure I will in a few months, but not yet. So why am I bitchy? It might be because someone called me out of the blue and suggested sex tonight. Perhaps if that someone had called me during the week just to talk and get to know me, as though I were an interesting and worthwhile person, I might not have been so bitchy. Or perhaps if that person had invited me to do something fun and told me I didn't have to have sex unless I wanted, I might have forgiven him for not calling earlier and not be so bitchy. Or perhaps when I mentioned a problem I was worried about if that person had been sympathetic and not just discounted my concerns and arrogantly acted like he knew everything, I might not be so bitchy. But none of that matters now, because I am bitchy. So, maybe you should leave before I show you how bitchy I can really be." By this time, I was crying. I didn't want to, but I was so angry that it just happened. Brad put his clothes back on and got his things together and started to leave. But he stopped and said, "So, does this mean you're breaking up with me?" I said, "I don't know, Brad. Maybe you should call sometime, and we can talk?" He nodded and left. I got myself cleaned up and went to bed. But it took a while for me to calm down. The alarm went off at 6, and I got up in time to have some breakfast and be at Dr. Ikeda's office by 8 to supervise the installation of the video cameras. But the company doing the job didn't show up until 10. I did have to call the Doctor with a couple of questions. But they managed to finish the installation and do the testing by 12:15. I signed off on the completion and hot-footed it over to the drugstore. I walked in a few minutes late. The assistant manager was a little bit peeved, but I reminded her that I had said I was working at the Doctor's in the morning and might be a little late. I worked at the drugstore until 9. In the afternoon, I assisted in the pharmacy. I loved that work, and my knowledge of pharmacology from my army training stood me in good stead. In the evening, I put out stock. There was a lot to do, and I was not finished by 9. The assistant manager had cooled off by then and told me, "No big deal. They will finish it tomorrow." Then I walked back to the motel in the dark, thankful for my weapon in my purse. I had bought an energy bar at the drugstore and eaten it at dinner time, so I wasn't hungry. But I was tired and went right to bed. Sunday, I got up and talked to Celia for a few minutes over breakfast until she left for work. She had gotten a guy she had met at the bar to take her to see the apartments I had referred her to before work on Friday and had liked the same one I did. I was a little peeved. She was supposed to have rented it if she liked it. Anyway, we decided we would rent that one if it was still available. I would call them later this morning. I called the manager of the apartment at 9:30. Her name was Nancy. She answered and asked if I could call back at about 11. Apparently, her mother was there, and they had had a little disagreement. She commented, "You know how mothers are with their daughters?" Actually, I didn't. Little did she know how much I envied her. I would have loved being able to talk with my mother about what had happened to me. What would she think of me, her little Naozumi, now Helen? Would she have any comfort for me or good advice? I knew that I was whining, a little anyway. After all I had a wonderful aunt who was like my mother. And I would love to talk to her too. I gathered my and Celia's laundry and walked it up the street to the laundromat. I started the wash and called the apartment manager. She answered and said, "Hi Helen. I'm sorry I put you off earlier. My mother lives with me. She treats me like a brainless little girl sometimes, even though I run a successful realty and own and manage this apartment. Mothers!" I laughed with her, and said, "You should appreciate that you have someone who cares for you, Nan." She asked, "Don't you have a mother, Helen?" I said, "No, she died when I was 9." She said, "Oh, I'm sorry, Helen." I replied, "It's OK. My sister and I lived with my father and an aunt after that. We were lucky; they were wonderful parents." Nan said, "But you missed your mother, didn't you?" I replied, "Yes, I did." Then I said, "My roommate and I would like to rent that apartment I looked at, Nan. Is it still available?" She said, "Yes. There've been lots of people coming by. But nobody has handed me a check for first and last, that clears. I have some people coming by later. If you want it, you should be here as soon as possible." I said, "I am at the laundromat. I'll be there as soon as I can, Nancy." She said, "Well, if you bring over wet clothes, I'll let you dry them as we fill out paperwork. I inferred from her offer that she wasn't all that confident she could rent it later today. But it was a nice gesture, and I thought I should take advantage of it. So, after the clothes finished washing, I packed them into the laundry bags I had used to bring them here and carried them to the apartment. The clothes were much heavier wet than dry. By the time I knocked on the apartment manager's door, I was tired. And it was getting hot. An older woman opened the door, and I said, "Hi, I'm Helen. I'm here to see Nancy." She looked surprised. She said Nancy was showing an apartment. 'Damn,' I thought to myself. Well, I wasn't going to give up. I said, "Can I bring these in and wait for her?" She looked at the bags I was carrying and said, "Umm, sure." I said, "Nancy told me I could use your dryer. Is that OK?" She said, "Nancy didn't tell me anything about that. But it sounds like her. She is so unbusinesslike sometimes." I said, "Why don't I call her, and you can talk to her about it." I called her number. When she answered, I said, "Nan, This is Helen. I'm standing in your apartment with a check for first and last in my purse. I also have some wet clothing. Can I put them in your dryer? Your mom's a little hesitant." She laughed and said, "OK, I will tell the people I am showing the apartment to that I have provisionally rented it. Let me talk to my mom." I handed her Mom the phone, and she and her daughter talked for a few minutes. Then her mom said, "Let me show you the dryer. Can I offer you some coffee?" I said, "Yes, Please. A little cream and sugar if you have it." As she was getting coffee, I sorted my clothes and put the heavier items in the drier. Then she came back and handed me a cup and said, "I have cream and sugar on the kitchen table." So, I went back to the kitchen and thankfully sat down and fixed up my coffee. Her Mom said, "I'm sorry I wasn't very friendly. I was surprised. I don't see many Japanese women who speak perfect English." I replied, "I'm not Japanese, I'm mixed race. My mother was Japanese. My father was an American. He was in the foreign service stationed in Japan, where they met. And I was raised primarily in American. So, I'm an American." I tried not to be obnoxious about it. But it was a bit of an issue with me. Fortunately, she accepted my comments without rancor. She said, "My, what a nice story. Of course, you're American. I can see how what I said might be offensive. I apologize." I said, "It's OK. I know you meant no harm. And I'm also proud of my Japanese heritage. It's just that culturally I'm American. And I am proud of that heritage too. Let's start at the beginning. I'm Helen. I am here to put money down on that apartment for rent." She replied, "I inferred that from your conversation with Nancy. She told me about you. She expected you earlier and thought you had changed your mind when you didn't show." I said, "I had to walk. I don't have a car." She said, "Oh, my name's Eva, by the way. And you carried those clothes from the laundromat in this heat? You're a determined young lady, I must say." I replied, "Hi, Eva." She said, "Hi. Do I detect a slight southern accent in your voice?" I said, "Yes. I grew up in Texas. My drawl was a lot stronger a few months ago, but it's faded since I moved to Nevada." Then Nancy came in, and I handed her a check for first and last month's rent before she could say anything. She looked at it, and said, "The people who were looking today are not ready to take the apartment anyway. Now you have it. If they call back, I'll tell them that." I said, "Good. When can we move in?" Nancy said, "Two weeks, at the beginning of the month." I said, "OK. We will move in as soon as we can." Then she said, "Boy, I' always glad when I have all the apartments rented. How about some wine." I said, "I'd like to. But as you can see, I'm pregnant. No wine or any other alcoholic drink for another four and a half months." She said, "Oh, I'm sorry. How about a cup of coffee?" I said, "Thank You. Your mom had already gotten me one." I sat and talked with Nancy and Eva for another hour. They were smart and funny and congenial. They did tend to kid each other horribly, like when Eva said she agreed that I shouldn't drink alcohol when I was pregnant. She said, "I drank all kinds of beer, wine, and liquor when I was carrying Nancy and look at her." I half expected Nancy to explode, but she just said, "Like mother, like daughter." Then they asked me to lunch, and I had a half sandwich and another coffee. They told me I ought to wear a pad on the way home in case I peed my pants. If Brad had said something like that, I'd have interpreted it as criticism and been angry. But knowing the two of them, I just laughed. Then they told me the story of when Celia had come to look at the apartment, accompanied by a fully armed police officer. They said they thought it was a raid. They quickly dumped all the contraband in the sink. So, if a diamond comes up while I am bathing, it's theirs. I wasn't too surprised that the guy friend who had brought Celia over was a cop. She told me her father had been a cop, and she had loved him to death. She hadn't talked to him for years because she was so ashamed of where her life had gone. But now that she was clean, she wanted to be a cop. If she couldn't do that, she wanted to marry a cop. I had advised her to start by just talking to her father again. She said, she still needed to stay clean a while more, to be sure. Hopefully, soon she would contact her parents again. I got home about three and put my clean clothes away and laid Celia's out so they wouldn't get wrinkled. Then I took my magazines down to the motel pool and laid in the sun and read. Celia came home at 8 and offered me a hamburger. It was a mistaken order, and they had just given it to her. Sounded good to me and I ate half of it and put the other half in the fridge. As I was eating, I told Celia about the apartment and my encounter with the manager and her mother. She laughed and said she had enjoyed meeting them. I asked who her cop boyfriend was. She laughed and said his name was Arnold or Arnie. He was a very nice guy. He wasn't her boyfriend, but they were spending time together. She wrote me a check for half the first and last. I would deposit it tomorrow. She said she might need me to move her stuff since she worked both days on weekends. I told her no problem, glad to do it. I surprised myself by falling to sleep easily and woke at 5:30. I ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, did my makeup, dressed, accessorized, and was out the door in time to be at work at 8. The Reverend Fletcher got there before me, and he and his group of protesters were standing outside the building containing the Doctor's Office when I arrived, including Amy. I felt sorry for her. I still didn't know if she had passed information to me because I had convinced her that her father's views of transgender people were wrongheaded, or because she thought she owed it to me. But in either case, I doubted she wanted to be here. I thought her father was a bastard for dragging her into it. I had noticed before that all these crazy groups who thought they knew everything, i.e., Religious right, Antiwar activists, Muslim extremists, environmental activists, etc., dragged their children into their protests as though they provided some sort of corroboration of the views expressed. Why should any onlooker be impressed that a child raised in a household where parents constantly badgered him or her to instill the 'Truth' was at a protest? What a joke. I vowed I would never do that to my child. I had to walk through the protesting crowd. Those who didn't know me tried to give me pamphlets and told me the Doctor was a sinner, and I should find a good Christian to treat my pregnancy. The Reverend told me that if I associated with sinners, I was a sinner. Amy, who was the only one who I cared about, said nothing. I got into the office and Aiko and Dr. Ikeda were there, and I briefed them on the installation of the cameras. They asked about my experiences coming in, and I told them that I wasn't obstructed or threatened, but I was annoyed. That caused the Doctor to laugh and 'he' said, "Unfortunately it's legal to be annoying." It was an odd day. We were not busy, of course. With about 30% cancellations, there were lots of holes in the schedule. But there were a lot of patients, and most of them came in the door pissed, at the protestors. Most of them had chosen Dr. Ikeda because (s)he was rated highly and were aware that the Dr. was transgender. So, they thought the protestors were jerks, trying to come between them and their chosen Doctor. A few patients made the mistake of saying something to the protestors, which cause the protestors to focus on them and harass them as they walked to the office. I felt sympathetic for them. The local media was present, and the Reverend got his airtime and managed to put out some misinformation about transgender people, statistics collected by people who already hated transgender people. To the reporter's credit, he asked the Reverend where the statistics came from, and by the end of his answer, anyone with half a brain would know the statistics were bullshit. The reporter offered the Doctor time to make a statement, and the Doctor went on camera and gave a low-key statement. (S)he said (s)he had worked very hard to be a good doctor and would continue in her efforts to help people with their health, and that her being transgender was not connected to how she treated her patients. She was not in the business of proselytizing; she was in the business of treating people who needed medical care. Of course, the reporter asked more questions about the Doctor, and the Doctor answered them with grace and generosity. In the end, I thought the Doctor came across as a thoughtful, sincere, competent person. But I could see the strain on her face after the interview. I asked, "You all right, Doctor?" She laughed and said, "Well, I've heard there is no bad publicity." I told her I thought she did great. Fortunately, the protestors left at about 3, so I didn't have to deal with them on the way out. I thought they might not be back. They had gotten what they wanted, press coverage. Nevertheless, we had to assume that they would be there on Tuesday, and Aiko and I called all the appointments for that day. They did come back Tuesday morning, but fewer protestors. As the week went along, they petered out. But on Friday, there was a sizable contingent protesting again. The Reverend asked the press to come out, and he gave a press conference, saying they had accomplished their goal, which was public awareness that a sinful person was running this doctor's office so people could make up their minds whether they wanted to go to a good moral Christian doctor or to this sinful abomination. He said that for now the protests would be called off, although they reserved the right to come back at any time. The press asked Dr. Ikeda if she wanted to respond, and she said, "No, I've said all I wanted regarding the protests." Given the Reverend's announcement, we did not call and warn patients with appointments the next Monday. Brad called on Wednesday evening, but I was at work at the drugstore and couldn't talk, so I called him back later. We talked about what had happened the previous Friday, and he said he agreed he had acted like an ass. He suggested we start again. I was willing, even though I still didn't think we would have a long-term relationship. But I enjoyed having a steady I could depend on. I think he felt the same. He asked me out to a Shania Twain concert in Reno. Elvis had always loved female country- western singers like Shania Twain, and I said, "Sure, I'd love to go." So, I had a date on Saturday night, as a woman. It was a date in the normal sense, not in the prostitute sense. This was a first and marked yet another step toward becoming a real woman, although I guess having sex with men as a prostitute and getting pregnant had been a huge step. But those things didn?t reflect the emotional acceptance of womanhood that having a romantic date with a guy did. I was a little concerned because Saturday would be the 8th day since I had last had sex. I expected to start feeling the nervousness and agitation that indicated I had not fulfilled the conditions of the spell that required abusive sex every week. But I knew from experience that the 8th day would be tolerable, and even the 9th and 10th days. So, I didn?t expect it to be a big deal, only a little uncomfortable. Saturday, I had to work at the drugstore from 9 to 5. I had hoped to go shopping for an outfit to wear to the concert that fit me better, maybe at the Goodwill. But I couldn?t. So, I had to wear an outfit from my time in Las Vegas as an escort. It was very seductive and showed a lot of skin. I thought it looked a little slutty. On the other hand, how slutty can you look with a more and more noticeable baby bump? I knew this would probably be the last time I could wear this outfit until I was over my pregnancy. But it was OK for tonight and comfortable enough. The concert was wonderful. I insisted we go out in the aisle and dance to some of the slow dances. And I participated enthusiastically in the sing- alongs. Brad was as charming as I had ever seen him. Although he did seem bemused at some of my antics. But I was relatively subdued compared to some of the other girls. (Other?) After the dance, we went and had a late dinner. Brad was a college student and did not have a lot of money, so I ordered light. We had an interesting conversation. Brad asked how I had gotten pregnant. I thought that was pretty forward, but given we were somewhat romantically involved I thought it was a fair question. I told him a date raped me. I had not intended to have sex, and it was a time I was potentially fertile on my pill regimen. I wound up pregnant. These statements were all true. Then Brad asked if the police arrested my date. I said, "No, he claimed it was consensual, and the police declined to press charges." True again. Then he said, "Well, is he at least accepting some responsibility for the child?" I said, "No, he disappeared before I could get a blood test to prove paternity and a court date." This was only sort of true. Then Brad said, "So, why not get an abortion. I mean, why have the child of a rapist?" I looked down and tried to explain, "I believe in choice. But I don?t want an abortion, so I choose not to have one. I don?t believe that the sins of the father devolve to the child. This child didn?t choose the circumstances of his conception. He or she is innocent and deserves a good life as any other child does. This child is mine too, and I can?t just get rid of it for convenience." Brad just shook his head. Then for a minute, Brad reverted to his old insensitive self. He said, "You know, rape is something that some otherwise monogamous animals engage in too. For instance, a male duck can rape a female duck. Ducks form monogamous pairs. If the female in a pair is raped, the male duck in the pair immediately rapes his partner, so there is a 50% chance that any offspring are his. It makes sense from the point of view of maximizing his offspring." I looked at him. I asked with an edge in my voice, "Does it make sense from the point of view of the female?s happiness and well-being?" He laughed and said, "Well, maybe since she loves her partner, she offers herself to him to maximize his offspring." I replied, "I don?t think so, Brad. I think if any boyfriend of mine had come close to me right after I was raped and tried to persuade me to have sex to maximize his offspring, I?d have shot his ass off." Wisely, Brad said we should talk about something else. Then I thought about it for a moment and realized I was looking at things incorrectly. First, consider the ducks. It would be to her advantage for the female to mate with her partner after being raped for two reasons. One was because presumably she thought he was genetically fit, whereas she didn?t have a clue about the rapist. So, mating with her partner would increase the average genetic fitness of her ducklings. A second reason is that in monogamous species, there is usually an important role for the male. For gibbons, the male is necessary to protect the offspring against other males. For other monogamous animals, the role is to share in providing food for offspring. In some birds, keeping the eggs warm is a tag team affair, so both parents are necessary. But all these roles take a high level of commitment from the male. If the male did not think he was the parent of a female?s ducklings, he might not have that commitment. So, a female duck may want to invite sex with her partner after being raped by a stranger male just to assure her mate?s commitment. But does that happen? Do female ducks invite sex from their drake after rape by another male or are they totally passive recipients of a second rape by their partner. I had never read anything about that. It seemed to me it would be hard to tell because if the female does not fight sex with her partner after a stranger rape, it could be because the female is very tired. Or it could be because she is willing to have sex. How about people, not ducks. People are different because they can understand the implications of things and act to minimize damage. They are also different because they can fall in love. Suppose I had had a man whom I loved back when Hugh had raped me. What would I have done? I closed my eyes and pretended, and thought about going and hugging my man, and feeling the comfort of his arms around me, ... and having sex. Maybe. Maybe not. The conventional idea was that a woman who is raped won?t want any man, even her husband, to touch her. But I wasn?t so sure. I thought if I really loved and trusted a man, I would want him to hold me and provide comfort at a time like that. I would need him to say he still loved me and would stand by me. But what the hell did I know? Had the witches made me into a real woman? Do my feelings, which were projected from role-playing an awful experience, mean anything? Who knew? Then Brad asked me, "What are you thinking about, Helen?" I told him most of it, and he said, "God, you?re a strange chick, Helen." When I had been Elvis, I had also read the same thing about male ducks raping their mate after rape by another male, and I also thought that what the male of the pair did was a reasonable response. I also remember thinking it was harsh for the female to be raped twice. I had a much different perspective now. I was willing to consider that the female might be an active partner in a joint response by a couple to a rape of the female. Brad and I talked about other things for a while, and the tension went down. Then Brad asked what next. I said, "Why don?t you come back to my motel and I will fix you a nightcap." Clearly, that was what he was hoping for. Me too, I guess. We had the best sex of our relationship that night. We both worked hard to please each other, and he brought me along with him. As he felt himself come, he spanked my ass hard, and I orgasmed along with him. We lay together for a while, gasping and feeling our hearts beating. Then I kissed him and said, "Thank You, Brad. That was wonderful." He said, "Yeah, Thank You too. It was wonderful. Make Love, not War, right." I laughed and said "Indeed." We fell asleep together for a half-hour, and then I awoke with him kissing and caressing me. I asked, "Seconds?" He said, "If it?s OK?" I said, "Sounds good." So, we repeated the process, almost identically. Then Celia came home, with her boyfriend, Arnie, in uniform. They were both just off work. It was embarrassing to be caught together in bed like that, especially by a cop. But Celia?s boyfriend was a nice guy, and Brad was at his best so it all worked out. Brad took me out for a drink to give them 45 minutes of privacy. Then he dropped me off. Celia?s boyfriend was still there, so I just slipped in and went to bed. I decided I was really looking forward to moving into our apartment next weekend. The next morning, I woke up early and spent a few minutes talking to Celia. We laughed about last night, and I told her I would be happy to be in an apartment with my own bedroom again. She said she would too. She asked, "What are you doing today, Helen?" I said, "I don?t have much that I have to do. I think I will go shopping and see if I can find a couple more outfits at a reasonable price." She said, "Come by about 1 and have lunch with me. I can give you my employee?s discount." I said, "You won?t get in trouble, will you? It isn?t worth that." She said, "No. Sunday is a slow day, and they allow that. It brings in customers, and they still make money." So, I said, "Sure, sounds like fun. I?ll feel a lot better when I make some close friends here. It?s boring being out by myself on the weekends." She said, "Hey, why not ask that boy, what?s his name, Brad, over. I?m sure you and he could have a lot of fun." I said, "Well, he?s great at sex. But not so good at just companionship. We always almost wind up fighting. I meant I would like to have some more close girlfriends." She said, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I love sports and all, but I would like to talk about something else." I said, "Besides, he said he had to study for a midterm. So, he?s going to be hiding out at the library." It was odd to prefer the company of girls for casual socializing. Another indication that the spells had revamped my entire psyche. After that conversation, I sat alone in the main room as Celia got dressed and did her makeup and had an almost overpowering urge to call my sister or aunt and talk with them about home and themselves and how they were doing. But the spells wouldn?t allow that. Damn. After Celia left for work, I looked online and found a thrift shop in downtown Sparks. I walked the six blocks to downtown and spent the morning going through what they had. I had to be careful. I was determined to preserve as much money as I could, so my purchases had to be limited. Additionally, I had never had a chance to develop a woman?s fashion sense growing up (duh). I had developed somewhat of a fashion sense appropriate for an escort in Vegas. But I could see that as an escort, I had dressed more like a tart than most women my age. So, I had to think and rethink every outfit. It was slow going. Damn the witches anyway, not to have included a fashion sense in their spells. I finally found three outfits. Because of sizes, I had to get most of the stuff from the junior?s section, but it had to have room for my baby bump. So, I was looking for Juniors clothing that was mature, like maybe things young women have worn for church or a formal dance in school. Of course, I couldn?t wear jeans or t-shirts. The spells required me to dress in a feminine manner. Besides, jeans and t-shirts do not allow for a baby bump. While I was shopping and trying things on, I ran into a couple of younger girls who were shopping in the same section, although not for feminine outfits. They mainly wanted jeans, that they could rip the knees out of and look cool. Both had piercings, and one of them had a huge nose ring that looked to me as though she had a bugger sticking half out of her nose. But as I said, I have no innate fashion sense. Nevertheless, they were nice girls. We exchanged names and they introduced themselves as Cary and Skully. The one named Skully said that was really her last name, but she thought it was cool, so she went by that name. They said they went to Wilson Jr. High School and asked where I went. I told them that although I looked young, I was 19 and was a high school graduate. They didn?t believe me, but I persisted, and they eventually accepted it. After that, I tried to be the one asking questions rather than answering. I learned a lot about them. They were both intelligent girls, just indulging in a little rebelliousness. After seeing the outfits I had selected, they had tons of advice as to how I should dress, and how I should accessorize. In their case, that meant what tattoos and piercings I should get to look cool. I listened politely, but then pointed out I was supporting myself and working two jobs at a Doctor?s office and drugstore, so I had to dress to look as mature and responsible as I could. They were intelligent enough to understand that. It was fun to talk to girls that looked my age. But in the end, we were not at the same stage of life and had little in common, so we were not going to hang out together. After I paid for the outfits, I walked to the restaurant where Celia worked and had a sandwich and some milk. Then I took the outfits home and hung them up. What now? I looked for things to do in Sparks online and found there was a flea and farmers marked downtown on Sunday. So, I walked back to town and looked around. I spent a couple of hours at the market and bought a few things to decorate our apartment. I also got a vegetarian sandwich to eat for dinner. Then I got a call from Aiko. She said, "Hi, Helen. I?m having the Doctor and my parents for dinner tonight. I wondered if you wanted to come over." I said, "Thank you for the invitation. But I don?t want to intrude on a family dinner." She said, "You wouldn?t be intruding. I could use the help. Plus, if someone new is here, people will be on their best behavior. Considering that this is the first time the Doctor will be at a family gathering en- fem, it would be good for my husband and my father to be on their best behavior." I said, "OK, I?d be happy to help. When should I come?" She replied, "As soon as you are comfortable." I said, "I?m at the market. Are you close to that?" She said, "Yes, just a few blocks." Then she gave me her address so that I could get directions on my phone. I was there about a half-hour later. I rang the doorbell, and a 35-year old Anglo man answered and said, "Can I help you?" I said, "Yes, I?m Helen, Aiko?s friend." He looked at me blankly. I said, "I work at the pediatrician clinic." Another blank look. "Aiko asked me over for dinner." At that point, his good manners took over, and he said, "OK. Glad you?re here. The only other woman visiting is my mother-in-law. But she has a bad back and can?t sit in the kitchen and talk or help. I?m sure Aiko will be glad to see you." Then he walked me into the kitchen and screamed above children?s voices, "Aiko, Helen?s here." Aiko escaped from three kids wanting her attention and came over and hugged me and said, "Nice to see you, Helen." In my ear, she said, "Thank God you?re here. My Mom can?t help, and the kids seem to be in a needy mood, and I?m already hours behind." I laughed and said, "What can I do?" So, I started peeling potatoes, cutting vegetables, browning meat, and various other food preparation steps. I was glad that my aunt had insisted that Elvis learn how to cook. She had told me, "Elvis, even boys will have to take care of themselves at some point." She might have added, "And who knows when some witches might transform you into a woman." In an hour a casserole was in the oven, and some steaks were marinating in teriyaki sauce awaiting being barbequing by the man of the house. And Aiko?s kids were happy that their mother was able to give them plenty of attention, even though she had also been supervising me. Aiko?s mother, Hiroko (Generous), had come into the kitchen briefly to meet me (and get away from the football game). She was a pleasant woman, and I liked her immediately. She and Aiko were very much alike. But soon Hiroko had to go somewhere else to find a more comfortable place to sit. About an hour and a half after I got there, Dr. Ikeda arrived. Aiko went to greet her, and then accompanied her into the living room so she would be more comfortable. Aiko told the children to stay in the kitchen with me, Aunty Helen. So, I made conversation with the children. I asked them about themselves. Most children liked to talk about themselves. I asked about school, sports, dance, boy scouts, girl scouts, etc. They were delightful children. Aiko and her husband must be good parents. After a while, one of the girls, who did not have strong Asian features, asked me, "Are you Japanese like my mommy?" I told her, "I?m half Japanese. My mother was Japanese, and my father was Caucasian. I?m American. I grew up in Texas." Then I said, "You are part Japanese, too." She said, "I don?t look it." I said, "Nevertheless, you are. You should be proud. The Japanese invented a fine culture and Japanese people have made many contributions in America." She asked, "So are Japanese better than ...?" I said, "Than Caucasians? No, they are both great people, as are all people." I could see in her eyes that she was parsing that. Then she nodded. Aiko and Dr. Ikeda came into the kitchen and greeted the children. The children had never seen Dr. Ikeda as a woman and were confused. Aiko gave them a simplified explanation of being transgender. Then they asked a lot of questions of Dr. Ikeda. They seemed satisfied, and their behavior toward her became affectionate. Dr. Ikeda had been a popular family member as a man, so once their curiosity had been satisfied, it was natural for the children to feel affectionate toward Lily. A couple of the kids had seen Dr. Ikeda at the office, where he still dressed as a man and asked about that. She assured the children that she was the same person whether dressed as a man or a woman. At 5:30, the casserole was almost done, and the football game was over, and Aiko?s husband came in and took the meat out to the BBQ and started it up. There was a stream of male family members out to the patio. I realized the Aiko?s mom must be by herself in the living room, and I went out and sat with her. She was a very sweet woman, and she was happy to have company. She talked about her family and the difficulties she had had understanding her son wanting to be a woman. She was happy that Aiko had intervened when her husband had threatened to cut off all contact with him/her. But she was still dubious about what it all meant. Would her child, Larry/Lily find a way to be accepted, to be happy? She noted he didn?t look completely like a woman, so that worried her. Then she said, "Helen, you are so lucky you don?t have to deal with gender confusion. I wish Lily didn?t." Interesting she should choose me to say that too. By the time we were done talking, we had become friends. Then it was dinner time. The children sat at their own table. I was pleased to hear one of them ask if I could sit with them, but Aiko assigned the doctor to sit with the children to further their awareness that this new woman was now part of the family and to reduce direct contact with the two adult men who were struggling with acceptance. So, I sat with the adults. Aiko made a point to ask me to tell my background, which interested her father because I had lived in Japan my first 9 years. I told about my mother not being happy in America, and going home, and then being sent back, before coming home for good. Aiko?s father nodded. Then he said he was surprised my grandfather didn?t send my mother back to America again unless he thought she was being abused. I said, "I can assure you my father never abused anyone. He was a perfect gentleman. He never hit my sister or me even once, even though we were far from perfect children." As for my Japanese relatives not wanting to raise me, Aiko?s father said, "That?s surprising. I could understand it if you were a boy. Boys carry on the family name and tradition, so it would be natural to insist they be true sons of the father. But culturally, adopting a mixed-race girl relative should be perfectly acceptable." Then he laughed. Apparently, the issue of Lily wanting to change genders sparked a thought, and he said, "Were you a boy back then, Helen?" The spells kicked in, and I froze, unable to speak. But his wife got angry and told him to hush up, that wasn?t funny, and she was sure neither I nor Lily appreciated it. That night, I got an email from my sister thanking me for the nearly $10000 I had sent just before I left Vegas. I said a silent ?You?re very welcome, Sis.? But apparently, my Aunt was still having chemotherapy and was miserable. I felt so bad for her and wished I could do something. The next morning at work, we dissected the events of the dinner and agreed that it had been a good first step toward total acceptance of the Doctor by his family. I told them that it was fun to be able to be at a family dinner again and that I really liked their mother. Lily thanked me and said she was glad she had asserted herself and insisted their father attend, although she regretted that I had had to be the target of a terrible joke. I said I was sure he didn?t mean anything by it, no problem. The next Sunday, I moved Celia and me out of the motel and into our new apartment. I walked over to the motel early and cleaned it thoroughly and then put some new sheets I had on my bed. The previous tenants had cleaned it too, but I wanted to be sure. Then at 11, Brad came over and brought me to the motel. I took everything out of the room and checked twice and cleaned it a little, Then I paid our final bill, and Brad took me back over to the new apartment and helped me load the suitcases up two stairs and into the room. Then Brad and I initiated my new bed by having sex, complete with the hard spank that gave me the release that the spell demanded. The next month went on in a similar fashion as the last couple of weeks. Then Brad broke up with me. Brad had finished summer school and started the regular Autumn college term and apparently met someone else. I was not very upset about it. Even though on paper Brad and I should be compatible because of shared interests, we just weren?t. There was something about me he didn?t like. Various times he had declined to introduce me to friends when he had the opportunity. And once his parents had been in town and he had arranged things so we wouldn?t meet. Maybe it was because I was not in college. A college girl was a prestige thing compared to a girl who worked in unskilled labor. Maybe it was because I was noticeably pregnant. That could certainly be considered a negative if we stayed together because he would wind up caring for another man?s child. Or maybe it was because I was mixed race. He had said his parents were a little racist. Maybe he had soaked up their attitudes, although he had sworn he hadn?t. And maybe it was just because he just didn?t feel a lot of affection with me. I guess I had not always behaved affectionately toward him. In truth, I didn?t love him. He had a streak of arrogance that rubbed me the wrong way. He was always sorry when I called him on it, but it always came back. At any rate, it was clear that the main thing holding us together was the sex we shared, and in the end that was not enough. 23. Coping with Spells, Friends Again, and Danno xxxxx But that did leave me with the problem of how to obtain abusive sex. Brad had called Friday night to break up, and we had had sex the previous Saturday night. So, I only had a few days to figure out how else to satisfy my need. I decided to walk over to the restaurant where Celia worked and see if I could get picked up. But there weren?t many young guys there, and I guess I was too young-looking and too pregnant for older guys to be interested. I even ordered a Shirley temple and tried to talk to guys at the bar, but nobody wanted to spend time with me. Sunday night, I went to a lower-class bar, but they threw me out, thinking I wasn?t of age. I told them I had ID, and they asked how much I paid for it. I decided I was getting nowhere and just went back to my room and tried to think of a way to meet a man for sex. Nothing came to mind. I thought about calling Brad and asking if he just wanted to have sex, but I was almost certain that he wouldn?t have given up our relationship unless he had someone else. I guess I was too proud to call casual male acquaintances and ask if they wanted to have sex. So, I put it off, even though I was becoming uncomfortable. During the week the agitation and discomfort got worse and worse as I approached Friday, two weeks after my last abusive sex. I was able to do the free clinic on Thursday night, thinking I might meet a man there. But it was busy, and there were no men in their late teens or early twenties there who seemed at all interested in me. I stayed till the end of the clinic anyway. I determined that if I were going to die on Friday, I would do something worthwhile on Thursday. On Friday morning, I got up sick to my stomach, with a raging headache. I had had almost no sleep. I was agitated and found it almost impossible to concentrate. What would happen if I went for more than two weeks without abusive sex? I didn?t think I would die. I seemed to remember I would go mad. That had always been a fear of mine because of my mother?s mental problems. Would I go mad and then kill myself? Damn, what about my baby? It wasn?t fair. I decided to call into both workplaces and tell them I was nauseated and couldn?t work. That was true. During the morning, Celia noticed I was at home instead of work, and looking like hell. She asked what was wrong. I didn?t think I would be able to tell her, but for some reason, I managed to get a partial explanation out. She said, "Damn, girl. I?ve never heard of that. Are you sure?" I said, "God, Celia. Look at me. I?ve been going nuts since last weekend. This has happened before, but it never lasted this long. If I don?t get someone to fuck me and hurt me before 8 tonight, I don?t know what will happen." Celia looked at me for a minute and said, "Does it have to be a man?" I answered, "I .. I don?t know?" she said, "Well, Hell Helen. I?ll fuck you and slap you around. I?ve wanted to slap you around all week anyway, you?ve been such a pain in the ass." I said, "What do you mean you?ll fuck me?" She said wait and then went into her bedroom and brought out a strap- on. The ?penis? part was almost a foot long and was modeled to be veiny with a textured portion at the end. She said, "A client in Vegas gave me this, and we used it on each other. She was a Lesbian, and that?s what she wanted. The customer is always right. But it doesn?t mean I?m a Lesbian. I haven?t used it since then." I said, "So how does this work? What should I do?" She said, "Wait a minute." Then she went into her room again and got some jelly lubricant. She came out and said, "Pull down your panties." I did and put them aside neatly. Then Celia said, put your hands on the counter, and bend over. I did that too and watched out of the corner of my eye as she put on the strap-on and put a lot of lubricant on it. Then she came over behind me and carefully positioned herself, so the strap-on tip was at the entrance to my pussy. Then she pressed. At first, my muscles tightened and wouldn?t let her in. But after a moment I relaxed, and the dildo slowly slid into me. Celia did not push all 12 inches in at first, but went slow and easy, increasing the depth each push. I managed to take all 12 inches without pain. But it felt really strange. Its texture didn?t feel like a penis. For one thing, it was not hot. It was room temperature. For another thing, it was both too rigid and not rigid enough. But I had to admit it was a reasonably good substitute. When Celia was sure she wouldn?t hurt me, she increased the tempo. As the dildo part warmed up from being inside me, it felt better and better, and eventually, I was feeling pretty good. Not as good as if it had been Brad, but pretty good. She said, "Tell me when you want me to spank." I said breathlessly, "Any time would be good." So, she spanked me gently. I said, "For God?s sake, Celia, hit me harder than that." So, she wound up and wacked my ass. That caused me to orgasm. It was a big, noticeable orgasm because it had been so long since I?d had sex. I screamed, and Celia stopped. But it didn?t matter, because I was spasming and gasping hard. After about 30 seconds I stopped, and she said, "Jeez, girl. You weren?t kidding. You do come when you?re spanked. I?ve never heard of that really happening before." I said, "Thank You, Celia. I was really in a bad way, and you came through for me." Then I hesitated, and then said, "Would you like me to do anything for you, Celia." She looked at me and said, "No. I?m not a Lesbian. I?m having great relations with Arnie. No. And I was OK with doing this for you in an emergency. But, please try to find another solution." I promised her I would. I was embarrassed because of what had happened; because anyone who had sex with me and abused me would get me to orgasm. But I couldn?t do anything about it. I quietly went back to bed. I slept for hours, and when I woke up Celia was gone to work. But I felt wonderful. All the tension and upset was gone. The physical symptoms were gone. So now I knew, abusive sex from a woman would fulfill the conditions of the spell. I called the Doctor?s office and said I was feeling better and asking if I should come in late. I guess Aiko had hoped to get home early, so she said she would appreciate it. I also called the drugstore and told them the same thing, but they had the shift covered by now. They did ask if I could work on Sunday. That was fine with me. I didn?t have anything to do anyway. Saturday was boring. It was only me. I walked to the farmer?s market and wandered around. But I didn?t have much money to spend. The pregnancy was starting to affect me, and I couldn?t walk as much as I used to. I wound up going to the library and signing out a couple of magazines and a book and went back to the apartment and read and watched some sports on TV. In the evening, I went down to the restaurant where Celia worked and tried to meet young men. No luck. I was happy to go to work on Sunday. During the week, between both jobs I was busy 12 hours a day. It was nice because I was earning pretty good money. Since I was available, Aiko had cut back to spend more time at home. So, I had gotten a raise to $15/hour: not big money, but enough to pay my expenses. In fact, I even sent a hundred dollars to Texas. Not a lot, but it might help. However, I knew that I would be in a different situation early next year if I kept the baby. I would have medical expenses to pay and a baby to care for and wouldn?t be able to work near the hours I was now. I suppose lots of women had faced the same problems and managed to do OK. But the spells presented additional problems. I needed to find a man to fulfill my need for rough sex. That would not be easy with a new baby taking up most of my time. Additionally, the fact that the spells wouldn?t allow me to gain weight or strength made it dubious that I could even give birth successfully. I resented that those stupid spells put on me unjustly by that stupid coven would endanger my child. I had to get the coven to remove or modify the spells before I was ready to birth my child. But the idea of talking to the coven scared the willies out of me. They could do virtually anything to me, as bad as turning me into an animal, or worse, and I didn?t want to speculate about worse. I hoped that if I told them how Hugh had tricked them into assuming I was guilty, they might be willing to help me. But what sane person wants to walk into a meeting of a witch?s coven, where most of the members thought I was a brutal rapist and tell them they screwed up? The next weekend I attended a two-day workshop at the University of Nevada in Reno with Aiko and the Doctor entitled ?Best Practices in Pediatrician and OB-GYN Care.? So, day 8 and 9 since my last bout of rough sex would be spent sitting in a classroom. Just the thought gave me a headache. But I needed this job, and I liked the Doctor, so I had to tough it out. I thought about getting Celia to help me again, but her schedule was not right, and when she was not working, she was with Arnie. Saturday morning, the Doctor picked me up in front of my apartment. We were at the college and parked by 8 am and went in and had a continental breakfast before the first class at 9. The Doctor and Aiko and I attend different classes. Aiko and my classes focused on office procedures, medical measurements and records, and emergency procedures. I assumed the Doctor?s classes focused on medical procedures. I would have given my eye teeth to be there. But my classes related to medicine and were relevant and relatively interesting. So, I was happy. We all got back together at lunch in the student union building. I was sitting at a table with Aiko and Dr. Ikeda and a bunch of college students in athletic clothes came by and grabbed some lunch. Then one of them came running up to me and said, "Oh my God, is it you Blossom? I never thought I would see you again." It was Danno. I screamed "Danno," and jumped up and hugged him. (I was such a girl now.) He hugged me back, and then put me at arms-length and looked at me, and we said simultaneously, "It?s so good to see you again." Then we both laughed. I remembered my manners, and said, "Danno, this is my friend Aiko, and this is my friend and employer, Dr. Ikeda. Dr. Ikeda and Aiko, this is a friend I met in Las Vegas, Danno." Danno shook hands with each of them, and I said, "Would you like to sit with us?" He replied, "No, Sorry, I?m turning out for the soccer team and just came here to grab a sandwich. We have to get to practice by 1:30 Can I see you later?" I said, "Sure, I think I?m free at 4:30." Dr. Ikeda nodded. I continued, "I?ll wait here for you. He said, "Great. See you later. Nice to meet you Aiko, Dr. Ikeda." When he left, Dr. Ikeda looked at me and said, "Blossom?" I said, "Yes. It was just a stage name. I was a showgirl remember." Dr. Ikeda said, "Right. I envy you those experiences. I?m sure it was a lot of fun." I said, "It was absolutely a lot of fun. But now it is time to find something where I contribute more and have a steadier wage." I felt badly I was not telling the Doctor the truth. The showgirl experiences were a lot of fun. But the accompanying escort experiences, not so much. Actually, I envied the Doctor her opportunity to attend college and medical school. I?d have given my eye teeth be able to learn fascinating concepts as she had. Aiko asked, "So, how did you meet Danno?" I lied, "He was at a showgirl event, and came up afterward and introduced himself to me. We spent a weekend together. It was a real loss when he had to go home." She said, "Is he the father of ..." I said, "No. definitely not." Aiko said, "I?m sorry I asked. I?m sure you wouldn?t have greeted a guy enthusiastically who raped you." I shook my head. Then I said, "Danno is a very sweet guy, and is very smart. I didn?t know he was going to go to school in Reno. God, I?m glad to have run into him." Aiko said, "Yes, I can see that. Are you going to try to get a ride home with him?" I said, "I guess so. I?d really like to talk to him again." When the afternoon sessions were over, I went back to the student union building and got a cup of coffee and read a kindle book on my phone until Danno showed up. When he got there, he had some coffee with me. The attraction we had felt last May was still there. I learned that Danno?s father had really cared for all his children, and when he realized that Danno and Rosemary were in danger from his wife, he talked to them and they persuaded him to let them go home to their mother. So here he was. And he was very happy about it. I told him that I had decided to give up the escort business and find other work and had wound up in Reno. I told him that my real name was Helen and I would prefer that name. I told him about my work and how happy I was to be in the medical field. And he seemed to care. That was so sweet. Then he said, "Rosemary is coming to pick me up. She will want to say hello." I said, "Oh?" He said, "Yeah, she told me about how our foster mother persuaded her to eliminate you, but how you got the draw on her but didn?t shoot her when you could have. She counts you as a friend. I also appreciate that you didn?t shoot my sister. I got to tell you; some crazy things happened back in Vegas. Rosemary and I know we were lucky we got out of there alive. You too, I think. The fact that I cared for you made you an enemy of the family. Not a big enemy, but an enemy none-the-less." I said, "Well, I only met Rosemary that one time, but she seemed like a nice girl. Certainly, not like a killer." He replied, "She isn?t. As I said, some crazy things happened." Then he got a call. He said, "Hey, Rosemary. You?ll never guess who I ran into. No, not him. No. No. I ran into Blossom. Yeh, that Blossom. Yeah, she?s sitting here talking to me. Yeah, we?ll meet you at the stadium entrance." He said, "Rosemary would like to say hello if you have time." I said, "Sure. It?ll be nice to see her." We walked to the athletic entrance. It was about 1/3 mile, but the walk felt good. However, I noticed Danno was occasionally wincing as he walked. I felt sorry for him. I remembered turning out for college soccer and how my shoes were so tight and how I always hurt. And the first turnout was always the worst. I asked if he was hurt, but of course, as a macho guy, he denied it. I offered to rub his feet, and he gave it some thought but said he could make it. I remembered Elvis would never have admitted to a girl that he was hurt. Men! We had to walk around the parking lot a bit to find the car. When we got there, an older woman was in the car with Rosemary. Danno was surprised too but recovered quickly and introduced me to his mother, Imogene Valentino. She seemed like a nice lady. Danno took over driving, and I got in the back with Rosemary, and she hugged me like we were old friends. Then she looked at me and whispered, "Are you pregnant?" I nodded. Then she asked, "Is it on purpose?" I shook my head. She said, "Are you getting an abortion?" I shook my head again. She grimaced and gave me a look of sympathy. We were just two girls sharing something that might happen to any girl. Danno?s mother turned her head and said, "We?re going out to dinner, Helen. You want to join us?" I said, "Sure. That sounds great." She said, "Shouldn?t you call your mother and ask permission." God, I wished I could call my mother, or my father, or my aunt, or my sister. I said, "I?m on my own, Mrs. Valentino." She said, "That?s sad that such a young girl is alone." Danno jumped in and said, "Mom, I didn?t get a chance to tell you, Helen?s an adult. She graduated from high school the year before me." Mrs. Valentino said, "Oh. You look very young, Helen. How old are you?" I said, "I?m 19, Mrs. Valentino. I?m supporting myself and have been for a while. I work two jobs, one at t Doctor?s Office and one at a drugstore. I have some ID if you would like." She shook her head and said, "That?s amazing. I would have guessed 14. And I work with kids as a psychologist. I usually can tell the age of a teenager." We wound up going to a steakhouse. I ordered a steak salad since I couldn?t eat an entire steak. We had a congenial conversation. I said the person I worked for was Dr. Ikeda, and Mrs. Valentino asked, "Oh. Is she the transgender Doctor who was picketed a few weeks ago?" I said, "Yes. She is." Mrs. Valentino said, "What a fiasco that was. Ignorant people were picketing someone who has no choice in her feelings. I have counseled several transgender youths, and they go through hell, with most people condemning them as perverts, but being unable to change the way they feel. And this idiot reverend spewing hate makes the problems caused by ignorance worse." I smiled at her and said, "I couldn?t agree with you more, Mrs. Valentino. Dr. Ikeda is a sweet person. I hope she comes out OK in the end." Mrs. Valentino said, "Has she already had the operation?" I said, "No, soon though." During the meal, Mrs. Valentino said, "You know, Helen, you need to gain weight and strength if you expect to carry that baby to term and birth it safely. And eating half a salad and some iced tea without sweetener won?t do it." At that point, Danno almost choked on his burger. "What," he said, "you?re not pregnant, are you, Helen?" I almost laughed. How could he miss it? But I guess young men who had not been around pregnant women might. I said, "Yes, Danno. I am. I guess I didn?t get a chance to mention it to you." Mrs. Valentino said, "Why would you. It?s not Danno?s, is it?" I shook my head. I said, "I had a date with someone who pressured me into sex without any birth control." Mrs. Valentino said, "That sounds like rape?" I nodded and said, "I guess so." Mrs. Valentino said, "So did you call the police?" I said, "Yes, but they didn?t think they had enough evidence to prosecute." Rosemary jumped in and muttered, "Bastards." Danno said, "Give me his name, and I will take care of him for you, Helen." It was sweet to have them support me like that, but I reflected that blind belief in one side of a story without knowing the other side can cause injustices, as had happened to me. Mrs. Valentino said, "I assume you?re not having an abortion, Helen. Since you didn?t have one earlier when it would have been easy." I said, quietly, "Yes. That?s right." She said, "Do you have a religious problem with abortion?" I said, "No, I believe in a woman?s right to choose. But my choice is not to have an abortion. More positively, I choose to have this child. He or she did not cause me to be raped. He or she is innocent and deserves to have a life as much as any other child does. And, I must admit I have grown fond of the child. I guess I?m getting soppy. I couldn?t bear to have him or her terminated." I was about to cry, and Mrs. Valentino got up and came over and hugged me. It?s all right sweetie. You?re very brave. I?m sure it will be OK." To change the subject, I asked Danno about college. He was enthused to be going to UNR. But he was even more enthused to be home with his mother and sister and going to UNR. He said, "Everything is just so much easier being with my mother. No overbearing father. No scheming foster mother. No psychotic half-brother. Just a normal life; going to school and learning something interesting and useful." I understood completely, remembering Elvis?s few weeks of happiness at North Western Texas State College before being accused of rape. Then I asked Rosemary whether she liked her high school, and she said: "Yes, like Danno said, being among normal friendly people is wonderful." Then Rosemary asked, "You want to come over to our house for a while, Helen. We just moved in a few weeks ago, but it would be nice to show my room off to someone. I laughed and said, "Sure, Rosemary. I?d love to see it if it?s all right with your mother. But only for a while. I have some more workshops tomorrow." Rosemary looked at her mother and raised an eyebrow, and Mrs. Valentino smiled and said, "Sure, Helen, just tell me when you need to go, and I will take you." Rosemary loved to show off her stuff. It was cute. I remember my sister doing the same thing, so I assumed it was common in young girls. Of course, it was something I had never done. Elvis?s room tended to be functional with a few science and soccer posters, although he had kept it neat. But nothing like a girl?s room. Recently, however, I had developed a taste for pretty things in my room, and it looked quite feminine. I assumed this was part of the spells. I think Danno felt left out because he followed us into Rosemary?s room. That didn?t cause a problem between the two of them. They were very close. I asked him, "Do you want to show me your room, Danno?" He said sure. So, the three of us went and looked at computers and soccer posters. He also had an Army ?Be all you can be.? Poster. I asked, "Are you still thinking of the army someday, Danno?" He said, "Yeh. I haven?t decided. But I think everyone should do their share." I said, "You should look into the medics. They do a lot of good." He asked, "Did you think about being a medic, Helen?" I said, "Yes, I did. Someday I want to be a Doctor. It?s just something I?ve always wanted to do." He said, "Cool, Helen. I hope you get your dream." I knew he did. He was a very nice guy, as well as being very attractive. I think if Rosemary had not been there, I would have sat as close to him as I could get, maybe on his lap. Then he surprised me by stepping a little closer and giving me a kiss and a hug. He said, "I?ve missed you, Blossom, err. Helen." I think Rosemary was starting to feel like a third wheel because she said, "Um, I?ve got to help Mom with something," and left. Then Danno put his arms around me and gave me a real kiss. I almost melted. He said, "My team has a start of the season social, tomorrow. I?d like you to attend if you wanted." I smiled and said, "I?d love to, Danno." Then he hugged me and kissed me again. It was wonderful to be kissed by someone that I cared for so much. But I didn?t want this to go too far right now, and said, "Well, I think I need to get going. Maybe you and Rosemary would like to come along when your mother brings me home, and I will show you my apartment." Danno said that sounded like a great idea. So, Mrs. Valentino drove me home with Danno and Rosemary in the car. I showed Rosemary and Mrs. Valentino what I had done with the place, and they seemed impressed. I was worried that I wouldn?t be able to talk about my apartment like a woman, but when you?re among friends, it?s hard to go wrong. And I realized that I was among friends with this family. Mrs. Valentino laughed midway through the conversation, and I asked her why. She said it was so funny to hear someone who looked two years younger than her daughter but sounded like a 25-year-old woman. Yeah, funny. Mrs. Valentino could only stay for a while, so soon I was alone again. It hadn?t bothered me before, but now I felt so lonely. When they were gone, I called Dr. Ikeda and told her I would be waiting at 7:30 AM outside my apartment building. She said, "OK, see you then, Helen. Aiko won?t be there tomorrow morning. She wants to be with her family and go to church. Did you have a good time with your friend?" I said, "Yes. He?s a nice guy, and fun to be around. His family picked him up. I knew his sister from Vegas too. I wound up eating with them and spending a little time at their home. Then I showed them my apartment. It was a nice night." She said, "Sounds like it. Is this a romantic friend, or just a friend- friend?" I said, "Danno is definitely a romantic friend. I get a rush every time I?m close to him. He asked me to a team party tomorrow after his practice, so I won?t be going home with you." She said, "Oh, that sounds like fun." I knew she was a little envious. Growing up, she had had to act like a boy and never got to have a girl?s social life. She would soon have her SRS and hoped she would be able to have a woman?s social life. Of course, I had never had a girl?s social life either. But she didn?t know that. My feelings toward having never had a girl?s social life were ambiguous. At the time, Elvis hadn?t missed it. But now, under the influence of the spells, I sometimes wished I had grown up a girl. I said, "Yes. It?s nice to date a boy who wants me to socialize with him. Brad never took me to parties, except for that formal dance. And he never introduced me to friends. I was starting to think I had two heads or something." Dr. Ikeda said, "Did he ever say why?" I said, "No. I tried to look nice when we were together. And I try to be kind and fun when I?m around other people. But for whatever reason, Brad seemed to want to hide me. I?m glad that relationship is over. It was a real downer." It was getting late, so I said goodnight, did my nighttime routine and selected an outfit for tomorrow morning, something a little fun so I could feel nice at the party with Danno. I laid it out on the half of the bed that I didn?t sleep on, and then went to bed. I had started keeping a diary when I decided I would probably keep the child. I thought he or she might be interested sometime. Plus, I found it was fun to look back and read about good days. Of course, I omitted sex. That would be inappropriate for anyone else to read. I kept a side diary with comments that I didn?t want in the main diary and that I never wanted anyone else to read. I thought about writing it in reverse lettering as a code. But that seemed like overkill. It was just a personal diary. The side diary contained all sorts of comments about sex, good and bad, and about my reactions to and frustrations with the spells. Strangely enough, I had found that although I could not talk or otherwise communicate with anyone else about these things, I could write them down in a personal diary. Once I finished my diary and put it back in my hiding place way back in my undie?s drawer, I went to sleep. The alarm rang way too early, but I was prepared and was able to be ready by 7:30. I found myself excited like a teenage girl at being able to see Danno again, and at going to his party. Of course, that wasn?t too surprising. After all, I was 19, still a teen girl. I had to calm myself to absorb what I could from the workshops. I was not only excited to see Danno, but I also had to cope with the spell causing me to be edgy because I had not had abusive sex for over a week. It did not escape my notice that Danno might be willing to help me with this. Danno called me at lunchtime and told me he was running late so he couldn?t come to the student union building, but he still wanted me to be at the party tonight. He asked if I could find the athletic fields on my own. I said I could probably accomplish that not too difficult task. So, after my last workshop, I found a map of the campus and plotted my course and started down. I did stop and ask a couple of girls halfway there to be sure I was on the right track. I arrived while practice was still going. There was a group of girls sitting in the stands watching, and I went over and sat close to them. One of them called to me, "Hey. Why don?t you join us? We don?t bite." Another laughed and said, "We do scratch, though, but just a little." So, I joined them. As I had suspected, they were all friends of players. They were a nice group of kids. I?m sure they were trying to figure out who I was. I looked very young. Was I a little sister of one of the new players that they didn?t know? Probably not. What little sister would waste her time watching her brother practice? So, if not a little sister, was I a girlfriend who had gotten pregnant with one of the new players? Finally, one of them moved to sit beside me and introduced herself as Alice, and I said I was Helen. She asked what player I was watching. I pointed out Danno, and she said, "Oh, he?s dreamy." I giggled and said, "Very." Then she pointed out her boyfriend. I said he was very attractive. She said they were thinking about getting married. I said, "Oh, that?s cool." Are you going to graduate soon? She said he was a senior, but she was a year behind and had two years to go. She might drop out. I replied, "Oh, you?ve come so far. Don?t drop out now. You might need that degree sometime." She was a little surprised at my advice, seeming to think it at odds with my being pregnant. But she said, "You think so." I said, "Yes. Hopefully, you two will have a great life together, and he will be very prosperous, and you can focus on children. But lots of things can happen so you might have to support yourself and a couple of kids. Then it would be important to have a degree to fall back on. And you might never get that if you quit now." She said, "So how about you? Are you going to stay in school even when you have that baby?" I said, "Unfortunately, things didn?t work out for me to go to college. My father died last year and my aunt, who raised my sister and me, is very sick. I will get as much training as I can. But I don?t think college is in the cards, at least right now. But if I were halfway close to a degree, I would fight like mad to finish it. Right now, I?m working at a Doctor?s office, and hope to get further medical training, maybe become an LPN." She said, "So do you have a high school degree?" She was must have been confused about me since I looked so young and dated a freshman." I told her I finished that last year. To change the subject, I told her I had known Danno from where he had gone to high school. She asked, "So, is he the father of, umm ...". I said, "No. I wish he were. But, No." I realized that I had shown I had slept with at least one man and was dating another, so I might be a ?loose? woman. But she didn?t shy away from being with me. Instead, she invited me to move to be more a part of the group. After that, we focused on the players and talked about our respective guys. I must admit it was fun being part of this group of girls watching their boyfriends. The conversation was light and non-critical and fun. After about a half-hour practice broke up and some of the guys came over to the group of girls. Danno said Hi and gave me a little kiss but didn?t get too close. It was a hot day, and sweat was streaming down his face. I remembered being the same as Elvis. He said he would take a shower. The party was going to be in an air-conditioned meeting room, and I could wait there. I said I would go wherever the rest of the girls went. After a while, some of the girls started heading for the team meeting room. I attached myself to Alice and a friend of hers, also a junior. We seemed to hit it off, and I enjoyed talking to them. In truth, I envied them being in college. I would love to go to classes and be learning lots of new things. I asked them a lot of questions. And they were, like most people, happy to talk about themselves. They asked me about myself too. I told them I had graduated from high school and couldn?t afford college. So, I went to Las Vegas and became a showgirl, a class B showgirl. After doing that for a while, I decided to try something else, and came up here and got a job in a Doctor?s office. I had always wanted to work as a nurse or doctor or paramedic or almost anything in the medical field. So, I was happy for now. Alice?s friend asked about my baby, and I told her that a date had not been willing to accept ?No? for an answer, and I wound up pregnant. I couldn?t bear to terminate the pregnancy, the child, after all, was totally innocent. So, here I was. Of course, both girls had been angry that the police had refused to prosecute. I didn?t say so, but I cut the police some slack on this one. If they couldn?t prove a charge, it might not have happened. I?d some history being prosecuted for rape, and it?s not something a prosecutor should enter into lightly. We went into the team meeting room, and I was surprised that Rosemary and Mrs. Valentino were there. We said hi and hugged each other and yakked until Danno showed up, and then Rosemary said, "Jeez, Bro, why are we here. I mean, it?s been so long since we?ve seen you. But why now." Danno said, "I don?t know, Sis. The coach said we should invite mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, girlfriends, anyone we were close to. So, I did. I assume he will tell us what for. For now, I need something to drink." Then he got an apple juice and took a long drink. I came over to him and hugged him and said thanks. He said, "What for?" I said, "For including me in the group you are close to." He said, "Yeah? Never a question about that, Helen." He hugged me close, and I hugged him back. Then the coach came in. He said, "Hi, players, and Hi to their friends and family. Thanks for coming. I asked you all to this meeting to kick off the season. I do it every year, but this year is special because we have a fine group of veterans and some talented incoming players. Our recruiting effort this tear were very successful. And we have had a couple of surprise walk-ons who will be fine additions to the team. If everything gels, we will be competing for the league title and even for a national championship. I will be driving the players you care for to the brink. I need to for our team to be the best it can be. Please be supportive. After all, your son, or brother, or boyfriend will never again have this good an opportunity to be a major factor in collegiate soccer. And to my players, I want you to realize that your parents, brother or sister, girlfriend or wife, love you and will be with you for far longer than this season. So, return their love and support, even though you may be tired or discouraged. OK, we have some burgers and dogs and beer and wine available, along with a fine cake and ice cream. Let?s enjoy ourselves and meet other players and their families. You will be spending a lot of time together between now and March. So, we did just that, although I didn?t have any alcohol and only ate a half hot dog and a little fruit salad. Danno had a lot more, although he did not gorge himself as some of the players were doing. The coach made the rounds greeting each player and their friends and family. He came over to our group, and Danno introduced his mother and sister and then introduced me as his girlfriend. The coach looked at me appraisingly. I?m sure he noticed I was pregnant, but he didn?t comment on it. Instead he said, "You seem familiar to me. But I can?t remember exactly how I know you. Do you have any ideas?" I said I didn?t. But that triggered a memory, and I realized he had been the coach of a college in central Texas last year, and Elvis had talked to him about walking on. But he hadn?t thought much of Elvis?s chances since Elvis hadn?t played for six years. So, Elvis had gone elsewhere. Small world. A few minutes later, the coach came back, and asked me, "Do you have a brother named Elvis?" I said, "Yes." He said, "I thought so. You and Elvis look a lot alike. If you see him, say hi for me." Danno heard that, and said, "You never said anything about a brother, Helen." I replied, "I don?t talk much about him. He spent six years in the Army and served in Iraq and Afghanistan. When he got out, he attended North Western Texas State College. He was a soccer player, like you." I continued, "In his first quarter, a girl accused Elvis of rape. But I?m sure he didn?t do it. He just was not a violent rapist. Anyway, after being tried and acquitted, he disappeared. It?s been over six months since I?ve heard from him." Danno thought for a few minutes, shook his head and said, "I?m sorry I mentioned it, Helen." I met quite a few of Danno?s teammates who?s names I would probably forget unless and until something reinforced them in my memory. I also met a lot of their girlfriends, who were all coeds except me. Most of them were nice, smart, and pretty. Seeing I was pregnant, and finding out I was working for a living, some of them seemed cool to me. I?, sure they thought I wouldn?t last a long time as Danno?s girlfriend. I was an anomaly, a temporary enthusiasm that Danno had somehow gotten involved with. That was OK. I thought of myself in the same way. Danno was a young high school graduate in college. He was very likable and very attractive. But in some ways there was a huge gulf between us. We did have one similarity. Just like him, I had once been a young man who played college soccer and liked science and thought about the Army. But I could never share those experiences, because of the spells. And even if I could, it?s hard to think that that would enhance Danno?s and my relationship. What Danno and I did have was a genuine liking for each other, a sort of animal magnetism. But while that might lead to some passionate sex, was it enough for a long- term relationship? Probably not. I had to prepare myself for the inevitable breakup. In the meantime, I was determined to enjoy the relationship we had. Then the coach started a music tape, and Danno and I danced. He frankly wasn?t very good. But he was enthusiastic. I still enjoyed dancing, although I was starting to be awkward because of my pregnancy. Danno told some of his friends that I had been a showgirl. As the evening went along, Danno?s friends encouraged me to show them some showgirl moves. I slowly went through a couple of kicks and turns when music came on that had the right beat. Danno and his friends clapped, but after that, I told him only slow dances from here on. But that dance seemed to show some people that I could do something interesting, so I was glad that I had done it. A few of Danno?s teammates without dates asked Rosemary to dance. She seemed to be having a good time, although I noticed she never danced with the same guy twice. Danno would tell her what he knew about each guy. Some of them, he flatly told her were not people she wanted to be with. She seemed to listen and take advantage of his advice. At about 9, Danno?s Mom told us she had to leave. She asked if I needed a ride, and I agreed. I was certainly ready to call it a night. Rosemary complained a little, but not much. Danno asked if he could borrow the car to take me home, and his mother said yes. So, we stopped at Danno?s house, and his mother and sister got out, and Danno and I climbed into the front seat, and he drove me home. When we got home, I turned to him, and he surprised me with a passionate kiss. It was wonderful. When it ended, and I could breathe again, he said, "Helen, I was glad you were there tonight. You were the prettiest girl there and the sweetest." I blushed. I was sure I wasn?t the prettiest girl there, but who was I to argue. I thanked him for the compliment. Then Danno asked, "I?ve been wanting to ask, Helen, how does it feel being pregnant? I mean, I never thought about it before. Boys never think about that, because we can?t be pregnant. I know Rosemary has thought about it. She told me. I guess all girls do. I?m sure you did." I thought, ?No. Not really.? But I said, "Only occasionally, Danno. Most of the time I was just like you, trying to do the best I can at life. So, how does it feel to be pregnant? Well, awkward. I mean, I?m only a little over four months along, and I already feel fat and ungainly. I think I felt the baby kick a couple of days ago. That was special. But I probably imagined it. It?s early for that. But mainly I feel I need to be as responsible as possible. I mean, I have someone else?s life in my hands. I want to give him or her the best possible start. So, I find myself thinking about what is best for him or her before doing almost anything." He looked at me and said, "I?m sure you will behave responsibly. It?s who you are. Have I ever told you I fell in love with you the first night I saw you?" I replied, "No, you haven?t. Why? I didn?t do anything but what I was hired to do." He said, "Yes, but you did what you did with such grace and self-control. It must have been hard. I know my stepmother was nasty to the girls they hired, calling them whores constantly and making it clear she considered them nothing. And being hired as almost a party favor, with no human feelings at all, must have been galling. But you did what you had to do and held your head high all the while. I was impressed." I said, "I was lucky. I was your party favor, and you treated me decently and minimized the embarrassment. I appreciated that." He said, "After that, I found out how intelligent and moral you were. And you were able to defend yourself from my sister without killing anybody. I knew you were special. Plus, as I found out tonight, you are fun. I love you, Helen." I smiled at him. I?d heard sweet nothings before. I said, "I love you too, Danno. You?re a very sweet guy. You?ve always treated me well. I hope to return the favor by making you as happy as I can." We sat there together for a while, hugging each other. Then I said, "I should get in, Danno. I have work in the morning. Can I invite you in for a while?" He smiled and said, "You bet." We went into the apartment and found it empty. Celia should be home by now. But I wasn?t going to complain. I sat with Danno for a while, and he said, "I need to ask you a question. Please don?t take offense. I need to know if pregnant women can have sex. Does it hurt the child? Does it hurt you?" I said, "Yes, No, and No. Danno, my body is filled with hormones of pregnancy. I?m very horny. I would love you to make love to me if you want to. But there are some things I can?t do. Mainly I can?t be on the bottom." Danno said, "Helen, I want to make love to you." Then he gently pulled me close to him and took off my blouse. He said, "Umm, Helen, am I correct that your breasts have grown." I replied, "A little. My body is getting ready to nurse." He gently caressed my breasts and leaned down and put one in his mouth and sucked it. It felt great. I tried to get his shirt off. I wanted to feel his bare chest pressed against my breasts." With Danno?s help, I managed to get his shirt off, and then he hugged me closely. I realized how much I enjoyed being with him. Was I falling in love? That couldn?t be. It was one thing enjoying sex with a man but falling in love with one was an indication that I had changed to become fully a woman. Those must be powerful spells to do that to me. Danno made love to me gently and lovingly, and I tried to return the favor as best I could. Both of us told each other of our love. Was that real, or just a normal consequence of warm, gentle sex? At the end, Danno remembered to slap me on the ass, and it stung enough to trigger the release I needed. It was a twofer ? sex that I loved, and sex that freed me for another week. We lay together for a while, and then Danno asked if I wanted to make love again. I said, "Sure." My need for sex was not as urgent as before, but the sex was satisfying, nonetheless. And Danno again remembered to spank me hard enough for another release. What an evening? Then he said he had to get going because he had practice in the morning. I told him I had work too. After he left, I felt lonely and wondered what it would be like to be married and always be together. But I told myself he was just telling me sweet nothings, and I couldn?t let myself get dependent on him. The next week, I started a new routine. I had two jobs during the week. Then usually I worked at the drugstore on Saturday. Then I spent the rest of the weekend with Danno. I was very happy. It went on for a couple of weeks and ended all too soon. In mid-September, the Doctor closed her practice to go to Thailand and get her surgery. I expected to be without work for two months. I had hoped to pick up some additional hours from the drugstore. But then the Doctor asked me to come to Thailand with her. There was a requirement to have a friend or family member there to help the patient after the surgery. Dr. Ikeda was originally going to have a friend from college go with her. But her friend had been diagnosed with breast cancer and couldn?t go anywhere until that was resolved. Aiko was willing to accompany Dr. Ikeda to Thailand but would like someone else to do it so she could stay home with her four children. Dr. Ikeda?s mom couldn?t go. And Lily?s relationship with her father was such that neither he nor she wanted him to accompany her on a long trip to Thailand. That was sad. But as I became better friends with Dr. Ikeda, she started thinking I was another possibility. A couple of weeks before Dr. Ikeda left, Aiko invited Dr. Ikeda and me over to her house for dinner. There, Dr. Ikeda explained the situation and asked if I could accompany her to Thailand. Dr. Ikeda said she would cover all my costs and pay me full time while we were gone. I was very surprised and initially reluctant, because of the potential difficulties coming up with proper ID, and because I was concerned about my family. But it was a chance to help my friend. And I could do it more easily than anyone else. I had no children (at least at this time). I would lose wages at the drug store while I was gone, and I would badly miss Danno. But you don?t often get an offer of a five-week free vacation to Thailand. After a lot of thinking, I said I was honored to be asked and would be happy to accompany Dr. Ikeda to Thailand. I think Aiko was very relieved. It would make things easier between her and her husband. So, I had to hustle and get ready for the trip. Dr. Ikeda gave me a lot of advice. The most important thing was to apply for a passport right away. Of course, I had had one as Elvis. But that would never work. I remembered how closely airport security had checked the picture on Elvis?s passport. I asked the Doctor how to get one fast, but she had known about this trip for months and already had her passport. So, I went online the next day. Official offices said 6 to 8 weeks. But I noticed that one commercial service, fastpassports4u.com, said it would take only a few days. I had to leave in 12 days. OK, I decided, let?s give them a try. The website said I could have a passport in under a week for $250 plus $170 government fees. I called them up. They told me what I needed to supply. I couldn?t supply a US birth certificate. Elvis had been born in Japan. And, therefore, so had Helen. But Elvis had gotten a certificate of citizenship when the baby Naozuma Elvis Watson was first brought to Texas. I remembered having to order a copy of that certificate when Elvis enlisted. The question was whether the spell that transformed Elvis to Helen was smart enough to create this document with appropriated dates. If so, that would work for a passport. I searched as instructed by fastpassports4u, and there was indeed a certificate in the name of Akira Helen Watson, with the right birthdate and entry dates. Hot Dam. The coven had done it right. I ordered an official, certified copy and arranged for fastpassports4u to pick it up. I gave fastpassports4u a credit card number for a charge of $420, and they said I would have the passport by the next Monday. But that gave me some pause. With what I had had to buy in preparation for the trip and the first and last months rent included I had had to pay to rent my apartment, I was down to $2000 in the bank. I hated to spend $400 and draw the balance down still more. So, I went to the Doctor and explained things, and she offered to split the passport with me. That was the best I could expect. I know her finances were stretched a little too. Through the week I read about Thailand and looked at our itinerary and planned some excursions while the Doctor was in the hospital. The next weekend, I told Danno. He was a bit upset, but in the end, Danno understood friendship, and he understood why I would want to see Thailand. So, he said he loved me, and that he would miss me terribly. I told him I would miss him terribly too. We made a date for the following Friday to have our last night together before the trip. The next week I worked on packing. I packed one large suitcase, which I borrowed from Celia. I wanted to keep the weight down, so I could haul it around airports. Plus, I needed to leave room for shopping. There were some good deals on clothing in Thailand, and I had an $800 duty exemption. It would be sinful to not buy at least one Thai outfit and one nice dress. Friday finally came, and we closed the office and put out a sign that we would reopen in two months. I went home, and Danno came over after practice and took me out to dinner, and then we went back to the apartment and made love. Our last evening together was very sweet, and our parting was poignant. I tried to put it in perspective. After all, we would only be apart for a little over a month. That would go by quickly. But, somehow, I sensed that this would represent a change in our relationship and felt saddened. I was very fond of Danno, and I think he cared for me. But there was no way he could come, and I felt I had to go. I owed it to my friend. Danno didn?t leave until the wee hours, and I only got a couple of hours sleep before Lily knocked on the door at 3:30 AM. Lily had never seen my apartment before. Celia and I had decorated it to be quite feminine. Or I should say I decorated it and Celia advised and helped. I had put up lots of pictures of Danno and I. Somehow that had become important to me. Lily saw Danno?s jacket hanging on a chair. She looked at it, and I said, "Oh, Danno must have forgotten that last night. I?ll have to arrange for Celia to give it to him." I think Lily thought I had some sort of perfect feminine existence, secure in my gender and knowing exactly how to live as a young woman, and with a wonderful boyfriend, with whom I occasionally enjoyed sex. I couldn?t tell her it wasn?t true, that I wasn?t secure in my female gender, that I only approximately knew how to live as a woman. I couldn?t say that I had had much less than a year?s experience since the spells and put me in this position. I packed a tablet, a change of clothing, and a light jacket in a small backpack and grabbed my purse. Then, without thinking, I grabbed my large suitcase in one hand, rolled it to the stairs, and tried to carry it down the stairs, as though I was still Elvis. Lily said, "Here, let me help with that. I hoped she didn?t admire my weakness, a result of the spells, and ascribe that to my femininity. I badly wished I had the strength of an average woman.