A New Job For Ash, And A New Life free porn video

A New Job For Ash, And A New Life Chapter 1: A New Start Evening was coming on after a day of typical late April rain, accompanied by a drop in the temperature. Ash, standing in the front doorway, glanced out at the dark and damp street, sighed and then turned back to his mother. "Good-bye, Mom," he said as his mother gave him a hug and a slight kiss on the cheek at the door to the home he was leaving. "I feel bad that you're going, Ash," she replied with a worried look. "Don't feel bad, Mom, please. I understand your and Dad's situation. It's probably a good idea that I head out. I've got a place like I told you. If, well, when I get it fixed up, maybe I'll invite you and Dad over for dinner sometime." "That would be nice. We'll still miss you. Now please keep in touch, take care of yourself. Good-bye and I'm sure things will work out for you." "Thanks, bye," Ash said as he turned and walked down the front steps of the small house hearing the door close behind him. Walking to the street and carrying a suitcase along with a medium sized box, he saw a car approaching from down the block. It was most likely his older brother. Fortunately for Ash, the rain had stopped but the cold remained as he stared out at the dark street before him. It was bad enough that he had been kicked out of his home. Well, 'kicked' was probably a little harsh. His step-father had requested that he leave and find his own place in the world as they could no longer support him. Ash was 19, turning 20 in September. He had finished one year of community college with much less than the stellar grades that would indicate he would be successful in future educational institutions. It wasn't a lack of understanding that kept him back, for whatever reason he just didn't put the time in that was needed. As opposed to schooling, he was an excellent worker, and had had part time jobs as a stock boy, janitor and convenience store clerk as well as the usual younger boy jobs of paper delivery, lawn maintenance, and snow shoveling. None would readily qualify as steady work or as examples of increased responsibilities and advancement, but all his bosses liked him and his work ethic, and expressed regret when he would turn in his resignation. He had little interest in enlisting in the military as he felt that being small and youngish looking would more than likely subject him to all sorts of unwanted attention such as bullying or hazing. Ash knew looking like he did that he wasn't exactly a shining example of a man's man, like his two older brothers, Harper and Logan, were. They were both over six feet tall and had excelled in sports as well as having adequate grades and had received financial aid to attend small colleges, participating on the schools' athletic teams. The extra costs that accompanied that limited aid had pretty much drained their parent's resources. A bigger financial problem for his parents was that his younger sister, Bailey, barely 16, after having about a year earlier, run off with some boy, had very recently returned home with an infant in tow as the father had taken off to parts unknown. They were not married and she and her child badly needed support. It had put a strain on living arrangements in the small house as well as on household finances. Ash was short and slender, maybe about 5 feet 7 inches, 130 to 135 pounds dripping wet. He did have a nice smile, almost dimples, bright blue-green eyes, dark hair that was quite full and was now getting fairly long if not yet shaggy, and he had a fair complexion. He had always been shy and had hardly dated any girls, although in school through the years a number of girls had been friendly with him. But he felt that was probably because they didn't feel threatened by him. He was sure their steady boyfriends didn't feel threated by him at all. He suspected they thought he was probably gay. He wasn't. At least not that label. He had a few friends in school, the slightly chubbier, less handsome, non-athletic ones, although of course, a number of them were academically advanced. And that meant that as the school years went on, he saw fewer and fewer of them in the classes in which he was placed. Schooling was not his strong suit, as his grades indicated. There were still a couple of friends with whom he would hang out, although their times together were getting less as other interests and commitments were causing each of them to grow apart. Two weeks earlier his dad (or step-dad) had taken him aside and said, "Your mother and I have talked, and we feel that much as we might want to, with the current economy and the cutbacks in my work, and your sister and child rejoining us, that we can't continue to support you here. You need to look for a full time job somewhere and find a place to live. We'll help you as much as we can to get started but you'll have to be on your own." While not liking it, Ash fully understood as his parents had already downsized moving to a much smaller house in a less desirable part of town to save expenses, but they still had a mortgage, and bills. He sort of understood his parents' concern but he also had other thoughts especially about his step-father. He didn't have any ill feelings toward his step-father, especially since that was the father with whom he had grown up. He could only remember maybe one or two brief moments of his natural father. His older brothers had a lot more memories and would sometimes share them with Ash. Ash grew up calling his step- father, Dad, and accepted him as his father. When thinking very deeply about it, he felt that in some ways, he did sort of love his father, and even more so, really wanted his approval. He would remember the few times that Frank seemed to have tried, like when he brought home a baseball glove that Ash needed to join his friends in the recreational league, or when he came with him to several father-son outings. Yet, more often, it just seemed that no matter what he did, he could never get his father's approval. Not that his father hated him either, it just seemed that his father to Ash's eyes, treated him more as a responsibility of raising a stepchild because of his mother, and not because he had any deep feelings for Ash. As the years went on, he began to feel that his dad also treated him a lot differently than how his older brothers were treated. Frank seemed proud of their accomplishments and often either spent a little extra time with them, or talked in glowing terms about them to the neighbors as well as friends and relatives. The older boys were included in things like fixing up the house, offering suggestions which were often accepted for repairs as well as suggestions for family trips and the like. Ash on the other hand seemed to take the brunt of any displeasure his father had. His responsibilities, no matter what his age, with things like chores, house repairs or upgrades consisted of handing the tools to the older three, and cleaning up after everyone had gone on to other pursuits, taking out the trash, drying and putting away the dinner dishes and so on. He was never asked his opinion about anything, and was admonished to keep quiet when he would try to offer it. His older brothers on occasion would remark to him that they could see the way he was being treated, but there was little they could (or would) do to change anything. For whatever reason, his sister, Bailey, seemed to get away with ignoring lots of 'rules' she was supposed to follow, with little to no punishment, but certainly not Ash. It seemed to him that his stepfather 'disciplined' him constantly usually with a sharp fist to his upper arm. That stopped when Ash was about 15 and swung back. After that incident, Ash now felt that at least his father treated him with a little more respect, although not as much as Ash had hoped. He also acknowledged a slight (very slight) improvement in his father's expectations of him. He did get along quite well with Bailey as they were growing up, although there were a little over three years difference in their ages. They played some together, got along well during family activities, and generally liked each other - except, of course, when he got punished for some minor infraction while Bailey was barely disciplined for major ones. He blamed it more on his stepfather than on Bailey. He would babysit Bailey - far more than his brothers - for several years starting in his pre-teens until in high school when he became involved with other activities and being with friends all of which greatly reduced those times. As he got into his late teens, it was apparent that Bailey had grown to be about as tall as he was, and when either were in very casual clothes, when they had their backs turned and Ash had let his hair get a little shaggy, they were on occasionally mistaken for the other, which also encouraged them to be closer. Sometimes during his later years in high school, they would occasionally get into long discussions about their parents, life as teens, and other issues which Ash really enjoyed, and Bailey seemed to as well. It may have been that she appreciated a sibling taking interest in her as Logan and Harper were so much older than she was and they basically ignored her. Ash's father had died of an incurable illness when he not quite three, and his mother remarried within less than a year. Ash's actual name was Marion Ash Miller, his first name being the same as his natural father. His mother had named her first two boys, but when Ash was born, as his father was already in the late stages of his illness, they named him for his father, but his mother gave him his middle name (she was a fan of Bruce Campbell). He was called Ash from then on. After his mother remarried, for some years as he got older, Ash thought that she was probably lucky to find a man willing to take on a widow with three boys, although adults around him would mention that she was attractive. Of course, she was also...his mother, after all. Remembering those days following his father's passing, he eventually came to understand that things were getting a little desperate, until his mother's re-marriage. His younger sister (well half-sister, technically) was born less than a year later which as Ash matured, had him wondering exactly how well his step-father and mother 'knew' each other before their marriage and exactly when they met and got to know each other. He only vaguely remembered the actual moments such as that. Both of his two older brothers had finished college and moved out, gotten decent paying jobs, with Logan already hinting at a possible upcoming wedding. Ash understood that in some ways it did make some sense for him to move on. So, he had spent the previous two weeks really focused on answering job ads, sending out resumes, and even knocking on doors, mostly to no avail. All too often when he did receive a reply, he was told that he was too young, too inexperienced, too uneducated, too whatever for almost any job except the most menial ones, dishwasher, janitor, fast food help, etc., which he hoped he would never have to accept. He wasn't sure whether those or the military, for him anyway, were the lesser of evils. Now, being given a ride by Logan, who had come by as Ash got to the street, and sitting there in the car, he kept his face forward to the darkened streets around as he headed to, at least for the moment, his new residence, carrying most of what he owned which were packed in the suitcase and small box. The rest was still in another single box in his parent's house - slowly receding into the background - which he would come back for later. He was also a little worried about what he would do if things didn't work out. He had started with a little less than a thousand dollars to his name, but he knew that wouldn't go far. He had saved part of it which he had originally hoped to use to help finish his two year degree (which was now a forlorn hope). The rest came from some money his father had given him, and a little his mother had slipped him on the side. He had found a single room with an attached small bath in a seedy part of town for $375 a month, one with basic furnishing, a place called Walnut Arms in the Woodside neighborhood. It had multi-room apartments as well as very basic efficiencies, which was what Ash was renting. They only asked for a $150 refundable security deposit besides the first month's rent(both of which came out of his initial funds) which helped but what with food costs, his cell phone, transportation and other necessities he doubted his money would last two months. He needed a job immediately. "Thanks for ride, Logan, I appreciate it," he said to his brother beside him in the car as he got in. "No problem, little brother. I know how Dad can be, so maybe this is a good thing for you. And at least you won't be hearing a screaming baby. That kid of Bailey's sure has a loud voice." "Yep, but he is cute, and Dad doesn't seem as cranky when he's holding Jared." "Yeah, I noticed. Makes me miss our dad even more. You know what I mean?" "Yeah." "So, you got any job prospects? Any call backs or anything? Wish I could help but with this economy around here, my company's not hiring or even looking." "I know and thanks for the thought. But I did get a message on my cell phone that some manager, a Mr. Relsly, I believe, at Johnston Industries would call me sometime soon, like maybe later this week." It was currently a Sunday afternoon. "I've heard a lot about them, they're into a lot of things, with several offices around. Any idea what it's for?" "No, I don't think it's from the division I applied to which was basic factory type work, so maybe they passed my resume around. I was a little surprised that later that day I got a text asking for my picture. I had to take a selfie and then text it back." "Hmmm, that's a little odd. Maybe the job is in the public eye and they want to make sure you look decent. It probably doesn't meet current laws, but lots of places slide around regs." "I guess that could be it. I hope I don't look too young." "Sometimes you do, but when you showed me your resume, I would have guessed you were around 18 to 20, so I wouldn't think so. Well, for your sake, I hope it turns into something. I know you're dedicated when you do a job and it's mostly really good work. If you need a reference, count on me." "Thanks, I was hoping you'd say that. I did put your name down." "Well, that's all right; I'll give you a great recommendation. Oh, here's your address. Looks okay, not the best part of town, but not the worst." "I hope I can get a decent job so this won't be permanent." "I hear ya. Well, good luck, and keep in touch. You need any help or anything, give me a call, okay?" "Thanks, I will, and thanks for the ride." Ash knew he couldn't ask for too much. Logan was living with his girlfriend in a small one bedroom apartment. Harper was living several states away where he had been attending college and was hired right after graduation. "Hey, no problem. Bye and good luck with that job." Ash walked to the building as a light drizzle started again, and entered his now room, which was dark and barren, with a single lamp turned on by a switch at the door. At least it had its own entrance. You could barely turn around in the room, and the bathroom, with a small sink, old toilet, and tiny shower, was even smaller. In the main room, there was also a small threadbare rug, a double bed that needed sheets and pillow (which he had brought), a chair, a small desk with drawers that could double as a dresser. There was no TV, no radio (he brought a clock radio). There was also one window with a barely working shade, one ugly picture on a wall. There was a very small closet next to the bathroom. A rod attached to the front door could also double as a closet...of sorts. Although a little dingy looking, the room was clean. He unpacked what little he had, hanging up some clothes on hangers he brought, putting the rest including a few special items in drawers which got full fairly quickly. He put his toiletries in the bathroom and turned on the water. Like when he had first looked at renting the room, the water came out clean looking and at least didn't smell. It was the same with the shower, both of which he was thankful for. He had made arrangements to buy a used hotplate and as well as a small refrigerator. Someday he would try to get a table of sorts, maybe another chair or two. At least the room seemed warm enough as he found the thermostat. He made sure the thermostat was working. He was now in his own place, such as it was. At least he was now responsible strictly for himself. He wondered for a few moments, if that call back might lead to something. He hoped it would, but was slowly learning to never get his hopes too high. He thought about what his future might be, hopefully sooner rather than later - leave this place behind, finish schooling when he had saved enough, maybe even meet someone. He sighed at that last thought. As it had stopped drizzling, he then wandered out and down to a little market not too far away in a small strip mall, bought some non- perishable food, went back to his place and had a bite to eat. Finishing that, he got out his small laptop and logged on. The place did have Wi-Fi but Ash had guessed it wasn't very secure, so he had installed a program to give him some protection from others trying to see what he was doing. He checked his email and finding nothing interesting there, followed up on his other social accounts, and also found nothing interesting. Later, Ash logged on to several sites and briefly enjoyed - in a way - what he found there. Soon he logged off, made up his bed, got ready for the night and went to sleep. But as was often the case, he spent some time with his imagination working overtime until he drifted into a nice slumber. He didn't like when it would start, but the thoughts had always eased him into a nice solid sleep. Each weekday for the next week, he was up, got himself ready and dressed in clean but casual clothes and prepared to walk the streets again knocking on doors and trying to pass along his resume, as he did not expect to get any immediate interviews. He had intentionally found that place to rent near a major bus route so he had access to get around. He would take the bus to the center of the city and start at the library to look through a daily newspaper as well as to check some online job sites and then start his walk, knocking on doors that looked interesting. His mother and Bailey drove over a little over a week after he moved in, which he wasn't happy about as he was a little disappointed in the run down look of the building and his room. They had called first which he appreciated, and upon arriving, he could see the look of concern in his mother's eyes and replied, "Mom, I know it's not the best, but for me just starting out with the limited funds I have, until I get a solid job and a decent paycheck, this will have to do." "I understand, Ash. If you'd like, maybe some time I could come back and help you fix it up a little." "Okay, just let me work on it for a while. And now that you've seen it, please don't come back unless I invite you both back, which I will. It'll just take some time." His mother understood, and then took him and Bailey out for an early dinner which Ash appreciated, and then dropped him back at his place, with them giving each other a hug, and Mary giving Ash a little kiss on the cheek. He hoped that he would get a really good job before they wanted to come back so he would be in a much better place. But, he would now have to focus on getting that good job. Rather than use a briefcase to keep his resume, notes with reference names and addresses, a notepad as well as his smallish laptop, he carried a shoulder bag. Yes, he realized, it did sort of give him a less manly appearance, but it was easy and convenient, and he planned that if some company requested an interview, he would go back to his room and get totally cleaned up and wear the one suit to his name. He got practically no responses to most of his applications, and he did apply at any number of places. The few places that did reply were rejections. He was getting quite depressed as the second week wore on. He would have to find a job somewhere within the next week or two at the most to be even able to continue living in the little room he had. Fear of not finding anything decent had not quite set in, yet, but it was getting close. As a last resort, he accepted that he would consider those menial jobs he didn't ever want. On the following Monday morning, now mid-May, as Ash was making his rounds, Logan called, "Hey, there, got a call from Johnston Industries, I think your Mr. Relsly. He was asking about you, I gave him a really positive reference." Ash breathed a sigh of relief that some place might give him a chance as he said, "Thanks, Logan, I really appreciate it." Ash now really hoped for that call back from that company later on Monday, but, the week dragged on and it was now around 10AM on Thursday, and no call back, as he left the library. In fact, no calls at all, although he had called his Mom several times, sort of fibbing a little about his job search. He got worried that maybe Johnston Industries had lost interest in him. Maybe one of his other references gave a negative response, he thought, or something else happened. Maybe they found someone else, someone with a better background. The one bright spot in his life was that as Spring was turning to Summer, the days were becoming quite comfortable, and continued warm and nice weather was forecast for the next week or so. He had also found a used hotplate on one of the marketplaces or lists online as well as a small refrigerator and could now keep a small amount of food available. His daily intake, though, would be reduced until he found a job and a steady paycheck. Again following his now daily routine, on the street, and now starting to get a little more desperate, he felt a small bit of relief as his cell phone rang a moment or two later. Looking at the screen, he recognized with a slightly bigger sigh of relief, that it was the call back from Johnston Industries he had been hoping for. And even hoping more so that it wasn't a rejection. They wouldn't call with a rejection, would they, he thought. Please, no. "Hello, may I speak to.. Ash Miller?" To Ash it definitely sounded like a male, maybe not that old, as well as sounding positive. He replied, rather excitedly, but trying to hold back a little, "This i.is Ash Miller speaking." "Good morning, my name is Brad Austin, I work with Mr. Relsly, the section manager. I...we want you to come in for an interview, today preferably." Ash thought first, that is so great, an interview! Then he realized, 'Uh oh, I wasn't expecting it to be this soon after the call, and I'm dressed way too casual.' He knew he had to be positive but was hoping it would have been for tomorrow or early next week, or even later this afternoon, so he could get back to his place and change, as he replied, "Yes, I can, when would you like me?" "Let's see, where are you right now?" "Um, downtown, 5th and Broad." "Ah, okay...so, how are you dressed? Ready for an interview? We will expect you at our office here on Central just off Broad, in business office dress, tie optional, the usual standard attire." Uh oh, they're on the far side of town from where I am now, and totally opposite from where I now live. That's not at all enough time with the bus schedules to get back to my place, clean up, change, and get to them. "Oh, I, um, just have on, like regular clothes and, I'd have to go back to my place to change. When did you want to see me? Maybe later today say around 3?" "Three this afternoon is too late. And we do have a style in mind for what we'd like our employees to wear," Brad continued, "but, regular clothes, you say. Okay, yes, I'm sure... we can work something out here. That is...if you're...willing?" While there was a strange tone to Brad's voice as he said that last, Ash was greatly relieved as he had thought for a moment that this chance at a job had all but evaporated, and replied, quickly and hopefully, "Oh, yes, I certainly am, what would you like?" "Well, I...that is, Mr. Relsly...we do want to see you today, as soon as possible. You said you're at 5th and Broad?" "Yes." "Well, that's good, that's very good, very good indeed. That will work out just fine and let me see here...hmmm, yes, there is enough time. Okay, follow my instructions exactly. Go right now to VanHisen Clothiers, should be about a block or so away. Go the third floor and ask for Jen. Give her your name. She will get you outfitted exactly as we would expect you to be. Don't worry about the cost, for now. Mr. Relsly...I mean, we'll work something out with you one way or the other. So, let's make it 1PM and be prompt please, not a moment later. As I said, our office is on Central right off Broad. Are you familiar with the area?" "Yes, I am." Ash had looked up the location when he got that first text several days earlier. "Good. Ask for me when you get here. Brad Austin. Do you understand?" "Yes, VanHisen Clothiers, I know the location, 3rd floor, Jen, 1PM, Brad Austin. Thank you, I will be there." "Good. I expect to see you then. Good-bye." "Bye." Ash took a breath. It was a job interview. And they wanted him in business attire. 'VanHisen,' he now considered, 'is the most expensive, most upscale, most fashionable clothing store in the area if not the state. Everything is sky high prices, but, I would think they'll get me looking really good, better than the beat up suit I now have. And maybe Johnston Industries is ready to hire me and only wants to make sure I look right in a suit of their choosing, presentable I guess. Why else would they want my picture and then after seeing it, send me to the fanciest clothing store in the area? I hope they can find something on sale for me so I can afford it.' Wanting to have as little problems as possible, and hoping that this job interview may turn into a real job, especially if they wanted him dressed looking really current, he hurried right over. Now that he had an interview and a chance at looking really great, he was determined, absolutely determined, that he would use this opportunity to not only be totally presentable but that he would also absolutely ace the interview. That would be his goal, he vowed to himself. He walked (or almost ran) rather quickly over to the store. Upon getting to the third floor which he had hardly ever been in as it held mostly exclusive - and expensive - designer clothes, he went to a counter in the men's area and asked, "Is, um, Jen available?" The older woman clerk behind the counter looked down her nose at him and said rather sternly, "Why do you want to see her?" Surprised by her rather coldness, but remembering that when people talked about this place they usually included the comment that the sales staff were not always the most friendly, especially to those they saw as not having the funds to purchase any of their lines, he replied, "Uh, I was told by a Brad Austin at Johnston Industries to see her about some nice clothes?" She sniffed, pointed and said, "Turn around, go over to that section, she should be at the counter about in the middle. You can't miss her." She shook her head and turned to another customer coming up. "Uh, thanks," Ash said softly and turned around as she was now completely ignoring him. 'That section' was the women's clothing section which not only included women's clothes but had a large cosmetics area and a salon. As Ash went over, he first glanced at the various women's clothes on the racks that he passed by. His thoughts turned momentarily to some deep seated memories and desires that would come into his mind off and on for years. Thinking 'not now, please,' he quickly put them aside and focused on the counter he was heading towards. Concentrating again on his goal of looking great and acing the interview, he assumed that this Jen was probably a contact and whoever got sent to her, that this Jen would look the person over and choose appropriate outfits from whatever side of the aisles matched the person's gender. They, that is, he and Jen, no doubt, would be coming back to the men's side, and maybe even this Jen would turn him back over to the somewhat rude woman he just left. A person who obviously didn't care for him. Yet, if this Jen was with him, maybe that other saleswoman would change her attitude towards him. Or not. He sighed. Finding the counter as described, he saw an attractive young woman, somewhat slender, long reddish blonde hair below her shoulders, fairly straight, significantly taller than he, in an outfit similar to the older woman's - obviously a store uniform, he thought - but filling it out in all the appropriate places, and she was at most a few years older than he was, if that. She saw him come up and met him with a pleasant and approachable smile as he reached the counter. For a moment a thought struck him, to be as tall, as beautiful....but, like his previous thoughts, he quickly put it out of his mind. She continued giving him that appealing smile, which he liked immediately, and she asked, "Hello, sir, how may I help you?" He again thought how absolutely gorgeous she looked, and that she was probably married or definitely going steady with some jock or soon to be movie star. But now, up close, although she was fairly tall, even without wearing the high heels she had on, she absolutely towered over him. He screwed up his courage and said, "Hi, I'm, um, looking for...Jen?" "Oh hi! Yes, I'm Jen. Pleased to meet you." She glanced at him sort of all over and continued with an even bigger smile, "And you must be Ash Miller. Mr. Austin phoned and said he was sending someone over." "Uh huh," he squeezed in, "I, um, need proper attire for a.a job interview. Something elegant, that'll, uh, leave a good impression. Yes." "Ah, so you need nice office attire, clothes that will be more than just appropriate," she replied giving her head a knowing nod. "Y.yes," he said with a huge smile, now quite happy as she seemed to know exactly what he was looking for. "Well, very good, I think we should be able to completely get you looking really well dressed, just as your future employer would like you to be. When is your interview?" "Um, today, this afternoon, 1 PM....if that's, uh, all right?" "1 PM. Oh my goodness," she replied looking at her watch, "that's barely enough time to get you into everything. We've got lots to do and little time. Please follow me to the back here." Chapter 2: Transforming A Life Ash was thrilled as here was someone who was nice, seemed to be on top of everything and was ready to do whatever it took to get him ready. He guessed if he didn't get the job, at the worst, they would most likely take whatever clothes he was provided back, giving him a full refund. Maybe he wouldn't even have to pay now if this Mr. Austin had called. If he got the job, maybe something could be worked out with this Mr. Relsly to get a discount, or something, especially if he liked the outfit. "Oh, um, okay," he said as she came around the counter and grabbed his hand and off they went towards a section about two aisles to the right. He wasn't sure where they were going as it was definitely not back to the Men's side. Glancing at him every so often, seemingly taking him all in, she said, "I think I know what will be absolutely perfect for you, and looking at you, I'm sure we have almost if not exactly the right sizes." "Um, good?" They stopped in a section with racks of clothing that were obviously for young professional women, and she pulled out on hangers, a combination light pink full sleeved silk looking button up blouse with tight wrists, a loose scarf tie around the collar and down the front and a white skirt slightly pleated. She stood behind Ash and held them up to him. He saw that they faced a full length mirror opposite them, with Jen holding the outfit on the hangers in front of him with her right hand and her left hand around him on his left shoulder. "I think this is absolutely perfect for you, and I'm guessing just the right size. And knowing Mr. Austin and Johnston Industries, this is definitely the look they want to see from their employees. We'll, of course, have to find the right pair of white patent pumps, probably a 2 or 2 ? inch heel, some nice foundation wear and get you looking absolutely per..fect. You show up in this, and all we'll be doing for you, and I'm guessing you'll be hired right on the spot." Ash was now terribly confused and in a little shock. Okay, he understood he was young looking and slender, hardly any facial hair yet, and yes, his own hair was dark, and thick, and way over his collar as he didn't have the money for regular haircuts, yet, anyway. And he was on the smaller side. And, yes, he thought to himself in that dark place deep within his mind, that he would sort of, well, kind of, well, maybe, I mean, if no one was around, and well, there were no problems, that just maybe he might like to, well, gee, let's see...try them...on, but not now! Not when someone was around, not when he needed a job, not when he was hoping to impress his interviewer, and certainly not to meet someone in a couple of hours. Did this Jen not know his gender? He realized as she was right behind him, holding up the outfit in front of him and they were in front of the mirror, that he could easily see his reflection and the outfit did look like it would fit him, and he thought it looked really attractive, quite pretty actually, but he saw that he was sort of cowering back from the outfit, almost into her arms and body. Going to an interview looking like the reflection he saw wouldn't work at all. He'd be terribly embarrassed; they'd laugh at him, maybe even worse. Is this what that Johnston Industries wanted? But how could he say anything without embarrassing her, or him, or anyone who might be watching them. She continued smiling and gently and quite friendly said, "Well, what do you think? Do you agree? We can look for something else, but I do believe this is most definitely you." "Um, yes, it, uh, does, look....nice, but, um, see..uh, I.I don't think that's really right for me. It's for a wom...." Never breaking her smile, she gently interrupted, "Yes, it absolutely does look nice. Better than nice even. So, you do like it? Am I right?" "Well, yes, but, um, I was, uh, looking, for, well, you know, g.guy clothes." "Good, you do like it, it will look so good on you, so let's plan on this outfit. But you are right, we do believe the customer is right. So don't' worry about it not being really right at this moment. We have a service that can take care of all that. Why, in a while, this will look absolutely exquisite on you. Come on now, we have to move along." Before Ash could do anything, she grabbed his hand again and they headed back to the counter, with Ash not sure what was happening. "Um, wh.where are we going?" She dropped off the outfit on the counter and told another saleswoman who was behind the counter, "This should work, you've seen our customer, she'll need foundation wear, matching white patent pumps, some jewelry. Sound about right?" Jen was all smiles and with her highly positive and cheerful attitude, Ash did not want to make a scene or cause any problems so he kept quiet, although he was still quite confused about what was happening and more than a little worried. The other attractive young woman glanced in Ash's direction with a big friendly smile of her own and replied, "Absolutely, I'll have it all picked out in a few moments." "Good, thank you, so much. Now Ash, dear, we're going to get you looking so good, fix your hair a little, get your face, nails, and things looking just right. You'll be absolutely adorable when we finish. But first let's leave your shoulder bag here, behind the counter to be safe. You won't need it until we're done, and we don't want you to forget it." Catching him totally off guard, Ash quickly replied, "Oh, okay," and basically let Jen take it from him, with her passing it along to the other salesclerk. "Good, thank you. So, now we're going to take you to the salon right over there. "The salon? But...." "You do want to look your best don't you? You do want that job that's waiting? Like I said, when you arrive, they'll take one look at you, and you'll be hired directly on the spot. No questions. Isn't that what you want?" "Well, I, um, guess so." "Of course it is, now here is Lisa, she and her girls will take really good care of you. Lisa? This is Ash, she needs the full treatment for Johnston Industries. Mr. Austin like we've talked about. And she has to be ready by 12:30. Will that be all right?" "Yes, of course, for Mr. Austin. So, 12:30, it will take some doing, but, yes, it can be done. Come along, Ash, dear, we'll take good care of you and get you looking great in no time." Jen turned to Ash before he could say anything, and said, "Now, you listen to Lisa, she is the most expert person on this in the whole city. You listen and do exactly what she says. I'll be seeing you close to when you're done." Ash was completely speechless at all this, having no idea what was happening, as Jen gave his hand to Lisa who immediately took him through the doorway into the salon area, saying, "Come along dear, right back here and we'll get you looking great." Thinking back on it, he realized that a few moments ago, Jen had referred to him as 'she'! Several times, now! Before he could think on that, he was through the doorway and inside, where he was overwhelmed by a half dozen young women, who quickly had his pants and shirt off and had him sitting in a salon chair with a full cape surrounding him before he could even take a breath. Lisa continued, "Hi, Ash, looking you over even this quickly I can see that you certainly have a lot to work with. Me and my girls will have you looking positively outstanding in no time." She then handed him a cup of what appeared to be water and said, "Here, if you would, please take this, just something a little refreshing." "Is it okay? There's nothin.." "It's fine; here, I'll show you," she said as she apparently poured a little into other cup she had and took it, and then said, "See? No problem." "Oh, okay, I guess," he said as he took the cup and drank down the rest of liquid in the cup, although he was not at all sure what was going on. And he was still confused over the clothes Jen had picked out as well as how quickly he had been undressed and how the other young women had gently eased him into a salon chair. At that moment, Jen had peeked in from the opening to the salon and said, "See? I told you we'd take care of everything." The young women surrounding Ash had now become quite busy. Two of them had taken each of his hands and immediately set to working on his nails, filing, buffing, adding extensions, polishing. Another two began working on his face, while a fifth was working feverishly on his hair. After a few moments, Ash secretly admitted to himself that this was slowly becoming sort of a dream to him, a very pleasing dream, but he was terrified to admit it. One of the women working on his face said, "These eyelashes are to die for!" The other said, "You'll be gorgeous, dearie!" Ash tried to speak up, to outwardly in some way, hold on to some of his maleness while his mind was filled with all the ramifications of what was happening to him and what they would portend. He had to say something and finally meekly said, "W.wait. I.I'm not....What're you....?" Basically ignoring him, as they were working all over him it seemed, one of the young women working on his nails glanced up at him, smiling and then went back to work on his nails saying, "Hmm...another coat. I believe." Before he knew it, some kind of cream had been applied to his cheeks, around his lips, and down his neck. It stung just a bit, and after several moments, was wiped off. While that was going on, eye liner was being applied to his eyes, his eyebrows had been plucked and shaped and eyebrow pencil applied. The young women working on him continued their chatter about how attractive Ash was going to look, and discussed the various shades of cosmetics they were applying and which shades would look better. Ash tried again to say something with a significant amount of desperation creeping in, "Are you all crazy? This...isn't right," as, once the cream was removed, one of them began applying lipstick to his lips while holding his chin, and another was brushing mascara onto his eyelashes, obviously making them fuller and somewhat longer. The young woman applying the lipstick replied without flinching in the least and sort of holding up the tube for Ash to see, "Really? But this shade's perfect for you." Not sure what to do or say, as his face was being blushed, another coat of nail polish was being applied, and now a young woman was applying polish to his toenails, he finally blurted out, "My interview is in just a couple of hours! I'll...I'll have to wash thi.." Before he could finish, Lisa cut him off with her infectious smile, "Actually, this is all long-lasting." Another woman chimed in, "That's correct. It won't be coming off anytime soon." Ash let out a slight wail, "What! No! No! No! Stop! I...can't go in looking like this." "Well, of course not, dear, we still have some shadow to apply to your eyes, close your eyes, please. That's right. And to finish applying the extensions to your hair will take a little longer. Then we'll have to style it a little. And of course get you all dressed. Add a touch of perfume. But just wait, when we're finished, we're sure that you'll love the finished product and you'll be able go right in and be hired." Ash was now in a terrible conflict with himself. Why were they doing all this? Why were they so determined to make him appear as a young woman? How could he even dare dream of going to an interview looking like he imagined he would. Yet, another part of him was telling him, let them finish their job. They seem so sure you will look perfect. At least you should see for yourself if they're right. He wanted to push his way out of the chair, run away from all this, and get back to his room. But he also realized that he wanted badly to stay and see what he would soon look like. He just slumped back in the chair as he was getting frustrated having to deal with all this indecision and confliction. However, he began feeling relaxed and was able to take some nice deep breaths, which eased his conflict. Now feeling even more relaxed as time went on, 'Well,' he then decided to himself, 'rather than put up any more fight, I guess I'll just wait until they were all done, and they allow me to leave. And anyway, I can't leave looking like. I don't even know where they put my shirt and pants. Somehow, I'll make my way back to my place, stay there a few days until I can get this all washed off or removed or whatever it takes, and start again. But I surely will not be coming by here ever. And there's no way that I'll be going to that interview. It's probably not that good of a job to begin with, there are probably no benefits, the pay will be too low, the hours horrendous, the working conditions disappointing, and the other workers there, insufferable. Surely, for a day or two, while hiding in my room, I suppose I can at least dream a little about how my life could have been...if, yes, if only I had been born.... He put up no more resistance to anything they were doing, which included working on and polishing his toenails, finishing up his fingernails, adding some kind of weight to his hair, completing their work on his face. "Oh, good, your ears are already pierced a little. That'll help on the time." He felt something going through each earlobe and remembered back in early high school, a girl had helped him to pierce his ears and then put studs in them. It was an 'in' thing in school for a few years, but he had eventually removed them and not paid much attention. If they were going to put studs back in, considering he was still seeing guys around with studs, well, he could deal with that. "Just to make sure that everything's okay there, we'll use ice and a hot needle." He didn't say anything as he felt a slight prick in each ear, and then the young woman worked on each one for just a moment more. When she stepped away, he could feel something lightly touching either side of his head just below each ear besides a slight weight on each ear. He sighed as he understood they were more than just studs in his ears. Being mostly done with his face and nails, there were now two young women working on his hair, as one had moved there to help. Two of the others were patiently standing on each side of him. Jen and other young female sales clerk now came back into the salon, bringing several items of clothing with them as Ash was becoming quite relaxed. Yes, maybe he could live with this for a day or two. That would certainly be interesting. Of course, there was still no way he would being going to that interview. "Hi!" Jen said. "You certainly are looking quite suitable, just perfect for your upcoming interview. Now we just need to start getting you dressed appropriately. We'll be doing it all as your nails still need to completely dry, and we certainly do have to be careful and not smudge any of your makeup. How are you feeling?" Ash took a long deep breath and replied, "Okay...I guess, but..." Before he could get another word out, with the two young women on either side of him taking each hand firmly in theirs, Jen said, "That's very good, we want you to like what we're doing, and it appears you do. Now please just relax your body and let us do what we need to do. It should only take a moment or two at most." Without waiting for a reply, the two salesclerks quickly removed Ash's remaining clothes. They leaned him forward in the chair and then they must have somehow sliced the back of his t-shirt as it just slipped it off his arms to the front. Before he could grasp that action, Jen had something white in her hands and was guiding each arm through some kind of opening of a strap, and then once against his chest, reaching behind him and apparently hooking two ends together. He felt the material now push against his chest all the way around to his back along with these straps over his shoulders. He also felt a little weight against his chest. It felt like...no, it couldn't be, but it did. It felt like a brassiere. He was still wondering, and terribly worried about what she was doing when the other salesclerk after slipping his shorts off of him said, "Now, pick up one foot. Good, now the other. He now felt something like his shorts being pulled up his legs, except the feeling of the material was smooth and soft. That was quickly followed by something else he had never felt before, some kind of tube material that seemed stretchy yet tight on him around his stomach area. While the one young woman was doing that, at the same time, Jen was also doing something under the cape that he couldn't see, but could definitely feel. "Wh...what are...y.you d.d.doing?" he asked with an almost fear laced voice. "Just moving things around, you certainly don't need any odd things noticeable, now do you?" Before he could answer, she quickly finished. He knew something was different down there as his male parts seemed almost squashed together as if they were pushed right up tight against his body. "There we go, no problem at all." Ash had little time to think on it, as whatever that tube was that was being placed on him around his stomach area, it was far more constricting than he could imagine. For a moment, he was worried he might not be able to breathe any more. Lisa said, "Now, Ash, when this is on you, it's going to hold in your stomach very tightly, so much that you'll have to learn to breathe a little differently, as breathing now will take place a lot higher in your chest." She was right, Ash thought, this is so tight! I can barely inhale. Oh, yes, that's right, work on expanding my breathing higher up. Okay, something I'll have to learn, I guess. Before he could even get into that habit, a final piece of clothing was pulled up around his legs. He glanced down and saw it was the white skirt with the pleats. As the girls were working on that, the cape was removed from his shoulders and with two other girls, each holding one of his hands so that his nails could finish drying, they carefully slipped the button up blouse on him, and fixed the loose tie in front. Glancing down to look at the blouse and skirt on him, he now realized why whatever he was wearing underneath the blouse felt a little heavy against his chest. What obviously now looked like decent sized breasts were giving him a definitely noticeable but not overly voluptuous figure. The final items they slipped on him, Ash felt at first they were like socks, but, the girls kept working them up higher to his upper thighs where they stopped. Ash felt a tightness at that point on both legs, and glancing down realized they had put thigh top nude stockings on him. They were quickly followed by white patent shoes with about 2" heels. The girls by his arms had slipped on a bracelet on one wrist and several rings on a finger or two of each hand. Jen then said looking at the now appearing young woman all over, with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, "Well, I think we're just about finished here. You do look just perfect, absolutely adorable, exactly how Johnston Industries would like you. Don't you think so, girls?" The half dozen other young women in the room all agreed as Ash looked in the mirror at the reflection he was seeing. It no longer looked like the image of the young man with which he was familiar. Looking back at him was a fairly attractive, some would easily say cute, young woman about twenty years old, with a nice figure, long thick dark hair almost brunette in color and in waves around and falling below her shoulders, hoop earrings in each ear, perfectly made up, and looking like she was quite ready to go to work at some upscale office building. Ash was too amazed at the transformation to say anything and held the gaze into the mirror all the while thinking of those almost hidden thoughts of his throughout his growing up years. The vision of the young woman in the mirror was quite close to the one he imagined in those secret moments when Ash would picture a different life for himself. He had tried a number of times over the years to ignore those thoughts, even going so far as try to force them from his mind by giving himself a little slap or squeezing his wrists rather tightly. They would recede for a while but eventually return. Jen continued, "I do think that your shoulder bag will still work with this so let's make sure you have everything with you that you need." She apparently had brought the bag back in with her although to Ash's eyes, it looked a little newer, a little more petit, and definitely quite stylish as she handed it to him, helping him slip it onto his shoulder. Jen glanced in the bag and said, "You should find your papers and things still in there, although I added some needed items, a tube of lipstick, a small compact with a mirror, a hair brush, a few other things you should have with you. Now, let's see if we can do something with your voice. It's actually fairly nice, but we need to tone it up a little. We don't have a lot of time, but I need you to follow what I'm going to tell you and you need to practice it a little. So come with me." Ash was taken a little aback and said, "I do?" as Jen took her hand and led her into a small room that had a sign printed 'Employees Only." Ash thought about what Jen was suggesting. With the onset of puberty, his voice had not lowered that much and in the one vocal music class he took, he was placed in the tenor section. Even though he wasn't sure that this transformation was going to work out in any way, he decided that he'd at least try to do what Jen was suggesting. "Oh my yes, you look just adorable as a young professional woman, and with a little work, your voice will easily convey that image to everyone. Now let's get busy." With that, Jen had Ash sit down and for about a half hour, and gently worked with the now appearing young woman to find a better pitch and tonal quality. Jen's smile never left her face and everything she said to Ash was quite positive and reassuring. It gave Ash the feeling that he didn't want to disappoint her in any way as she was being so nice to him, that he followed carefully her every suggestion and with her slipping her fingers up and down Ash's throat, he found a place that she said was quite appropriate. "Okay, let's hear you say this," she said to Ash as she handed him a piece of paper. Ash read it back with Jen suggesting how to speed up or slow down the delivery, and finally said, "Good, just keep practicing that and it should work for you. Now, it's getting late and you do have to be at that job interview quite soon." "Oh, yes, um, what time is it?" Ash asked as he realized that getting him to look this way had taken some time. He was also a little surprised at how his voice now sounded. "A little after 12:30. And I do like your voice now, keep it up!" "Oh! Yes, I guess. But, well, the time. I can't...possibly make it now. I should have been on the bus that would have come by at 12:30. I'll have to call and see if I can reschedule. Um, thank you for everything you've done, but I guess I should probably go on back to my place...." Yes, that's it, Ash thought as he was saying this, this was all nice and everything, but I surely can't go to an interview looking like this. Even if my voice is a little different, what would they think of me? Thank goodness it's too late. Now I can go back to my place...um, maybe I should change first, well it would be interesting to stay dressed, but I can't...can I? Jen smiled and gently interrupted him, "No need to do that, I guessed we might run a little over on the time, so we have a limo that right now is waiting down at the street ready to take you directly to your appointment. You'll be there in no time. Now don't you look just perfect? Looking at you as well as listening to you, you'll breeze right through the interview, and they'll be offering you a job in no time." "I...I" Ignoring Ash's utterances completely, she said, "Come along, now, we have to hurry," and she took his well-manicured hand and led him to the elevator, and eventually down to the main floor and out to the street, all the time complimenting Ash on Ash's appearance. Ash was still in significant shock at how this was now turning out and put up little resistance, while stumbling a little as he got used to the heels he was now wearing. Ash asked on the way out, "Do, um, I owe you, uh, for...." She smiled back at him as she was keeping him moving, and said, "I'll be talking to Mr. Austin. So, we'll settle up later. You just focus on being the best you can be so you'll get that job." As they arrived down at the street with the limo there and waiting, Jen said, "Now you go to that job interview and show them what you've got, that you deserve the position. Do that and I'm sure they'll just want to hire you on the spot." She then took both of Ash's hands in hers and looking at Ash intently, said quite earnestly, "Oh, yes, Ash is such a cute little nickname, but you should definitely use Ashley. That sounds ever so much more professional. Don't you agree, Ashley?" Ash, now Ashley and again in a daze at what was happening, trying to think of some way to get out of this and failing, could only nod her head and mumble something close to an 'mmm hmmm'. "Let's hear you say it, say 'Hi, I'm Ashley Miller'." Ash, or rather Ashley now, took a breath, thought about where in the throat it should come from and said, "Hi, I'm...Ashley Miller." "Very good, Ashley, very good. So, Ashley Miller it is. Well, here we are and there's your ride. We're all pulling for you, Ashley, you're looks, and everything should do you well. It took a lot of work, and the girls gave it their all, but I have to admit, you came to us with all the basics needed to give you this gorgeous transformation and presentation. Now, just wow them at your interview, and come back with the good news. Okay, Ashley? Give me a hug now for good luck." "Um, uh huh," was all she could say as Jen slipped her arms around Ashley and as if by rote, Ashley did likewise and they gave one another a hug. Jen touched her lips to Ashley's cheek in a light kiss, which almost automatically, Ashley now returned. Jen then helped her into the limo and closed the door saying just loud enough for Ashley to hear and with a nod and a grin on her face, "I suspected as much. I think you'll do just fine, Ashley. Good-bye, now." Barely saying, "Good-bye," Ashley could only sit there amazed and still in some shock at how she looked, and now how she felt, and especially what had just happened. She had returned Jen's hug and kiss, just like she imagined any young woman would...just like...any.young.woman.would. That thought stayed in her mind for a little while. Considering everything that had happened, she could now feel the brassiere holding these breast inserts up. They must be excellent prosthetics, she thought, as they felt quite real. The waist cincher also appeared to be doing its job of giving her a rather nice figure, which was helped by what she now guessed were pads in her panties. She was also breathing higher up in her chest and becoming more used to it. She looked at her manicured hands holding them up almost admiring them. She glanced at her stockinged legs and down at her pumps. She felt her hair as it cascaded in soft waves down her shoulders and back and over her forehead. She felt her earrings dangling against her cheeks. Everything she noticed and saw and considered told her that here was a young woman, sitting in a limo, going to an interview for a job that seemed to be for her, and, more so, that she herself was now this young woman. As the limo pulled away from the curb and went down the street, Ashley could barely believe how she now looked. Almost in a trance, she reached into her bag and pulled out the compact with the mirror, opened it up, and began studying her face. She saw her curled up and mascaraed eye lashes, the eyeliner around each eye, the eye shadow on each lid, the contoured eyebrows that had been colored, the shaded lipstick on her lips and blush on her cheeks. She could still smell the fragrance of the perfume that had been spritzed on various parts of her body. For a moment or two, those old but often recurring thoughts sped across her mind, and she smiled for a brief instance and barely shook her head. Yes, she admitted to herself, there were times when Ash would imagine moments not at all dissimilar from this. Times where Ash would not only be dressed as a young woman, but would also have the physical body of one. Of course, that young woman would have had experience in being who she was. She'd know how to walk, and talk, interact with others. Perhaps even have moments, dates even, with young men. But Ashley as she now was, she considered, may look the part, even maybe sound the part. She may be even accepted as that dream girl of Ash's but there was no way she could actually be that girl at this moment. All the girls Ash knew growing up, especially those in high school and at the college, practically all of them were just...regular people, girls who had years of experience being who they were and living as who they were, and surely had no doubts, no terrible feelings of self- consciousness about who they actually were...or really weren't. 'How could I,' she thought, 'possibly get through five minutes, let alone an hour or more, with others who would be expecting a young man to show up, or worse, act and be like a young woman that I now look like?' Ashley now considered as her mind was just in a swirl about what had and now was happening to her, 'Am I the Ash that not too long ago walked into the clothing store? What happened to him? What would happen at the interview where they are obviously expecting a young male to come in and I appear? How could I possibly explain to them that although they're seeing, maybe even hearing a young woman that somewhere underneath this is...or was, I guess now, a male. Maybe I should just have the driver turn around and take me back to Ash's, no, I mean, my place. Remove all this. Go back to Ash's drab life. Um, my drab.... 'Maybe I shouldn't even take a chance on maybe having a job offered to me, Ashley. Well, Jen sure thinks I'll be offered a job looking like this. What kind of a job could it possibly be? Secretary? Some kind of office work like typing, and filing? Would they offer me some kind of wage or salary that I could live on? What if they did? Should I accept it? Nothing else has come up. I do need the money. No, they won't offer me a job, they'll just laugh me out of the building. What am I to do?' Her cell phone buzzed at that moment, and it was a text, from this Brad Austin, saying, 'Jen says you're on your way lookin great. Good. Can't wait to see you.' OMG, what do I do now? He's waiting for me. He wants to 'see' me! Maybe Jen told him what they had done to me. Maybe he won't be shocked, or displeased. What else can I do?" Noticing that she was breathing a little fast, she now just sat back and tried to relax again taking several deep breaths. It's just an interview, she thought, I've gone on them before, a number of times. This is no different. Just keep telling myself this. No different. The driver looked in the rear view mirror at Ashley and smiling, said, "Beautiful day, Miss." Ashley looked up and smiled back, replying, "Yes, it is." And she thought, 'That didn't sound too bad. And he called me 'Miss'. Do I actually pass? Oh, I just don't know if.... All too soon, for Ashley's concerns and continuing worries, the limo pulled up at an office building that Ashley assumed was one of Johnston Industries branches. It looked rather new, glass and steel, three stories high and was in an office park, with other similar looking buildings. As she started to reach for the door, the limo driver, who was already getting out, said, "I'll get that, Miss." Ashley sighed and sat back. In a moment, the driver had opened the door and offered his hand to her, which after a brief moment's hesitation, Ashley took and she got out of the car, smoothed her skirt, made sure her shoulder bag was securely on her shoulder and said, "Thank you," with a smile. He smiled back saying, "You're welcome. I'll walk you to the door." Ashley now accepted that this last possible avenue of escape, fleeing down the sidewalk away from this building, was fully closed to her. She would go into the building, meet this Brad Austin, and take whatever happened, still fully expecting to run (or be run) out of the building in shame, maybe tears, and somehow find her way back to Ash's place and try to put this behind her. Or maybe not until it was bedtime, would she change back....no, it had to be... "I understand you're on a job interview, Miss. Well, good luck, hope it works out, and good-bye," he said as he held the entrance door open for her. Ashley looked up at him, again with a small smile, thinking, 'He does look a little handsome, maybe in a certain way, no, wait, I can't think...well...maybe...' as she said giving him a smile. "Thank you, you've been so nice, good-bye." The look on his face suggested to her that he appreciated her response. Her now mind racing again, she considered, 'Now why did I say that? Think that? And it sounded like before. What is happening to me? I shouldn't even be here, I should never have let that Jen dress me like this. This just isn't going to work out, it can't possibly...can it?' But in a moment she was inside the building and walking up to the reception desk. She then thought, 'Well, walking in these heels doesn't seem too bad, just put one foot in front of the other, don't go fast, place each step firmly on the floor, keep a nice balance, focus on where my voice should come from, yes, I can do it.' "May I help you?" asked the young woman behind the desk as she smiled up at Ashley. Ashley took a breath, still sure that this was going to go all wrong and said, "Yes, I'm, um, Ash.ley Miller. I'm here for a 1PM interview with, uh, Mr. Austin?" The young woman looked at her computer screen and then said, "Oh, yes, I have you right here, Ms. Miller. One o'clock, that's right. Please wait just a moment, I'll have someone come right down to take you there." "Thank you," Ashley replied as her nerves were not quite getting the better of her, yet anyway. The receptionist mentioned, "You can sit over there if you'd like." She pointed to two chairs and a sofa, all corporate office styled, a few feet way. They were around a table with a few magazines, mostly business oriented, and some potted (possibly artificial) plants. "There's also a coffee station over by that wall, too, if you'd like a cup, regular or decaf." "Oh, thank you," Ashley replied and went over and sat down, making sure her skirt was covering whatever it could. No way did she want to drink anything at this moment, doubting her stomach would like that. She hoped the wait wouldn't be too long, and was thankful when within just a few moments a young woman showed up. She did seem to think her heart was now beating a little faster. She stood back up as the woman said, "Hi, Ashley Miller, I believe?" "Yes, hi. I'm, um, here for the 1PM interview with, um, Mr. Austin?" "Hi, Ashley. I'm Deirdre. Nice to meet you." She offered her hand and they shook. Ashley noticed that this woman, made no change to her expressions or body language as they shook hands. She wondered if she really did look enough like a young woman to be accepted. "We'll get you right up there. Come with me, please. I do like what you're wearing, very attractive. Where did you find it?" "Thank you," Ashley responded as they walked over to the elevators and rode up, "um, Van Hisen, their downtown store. They certainly do have nice clothes." "Ah, yes, I fully agree. They have such a nice selection, very stylish, I understand, now. So, you're seeing...Mr. Austin, right?" Deirdre asked with an odd tone in her voice, at least to Ashley's imagination. "Um, yes," Ashley answered wondering why she was being asked again. "Is, there, um, a...problem?" Deirdre was silent for a moment, then replied, "No, uh, not at all. I work directly for a Mr. Relsly, while Mr. Austin is also in the section. Mr. Relsly usually sees applicants, but he's out of the office at this moment, I'm not sure when he'll be back. But I work with Mr. Austin, too, on some projects, so I guess he wanted to talk to you. I think he is interviewing for a position." "Oh, um, okay," replied Ashley, again a little confused as from the phone call, she thought that she would be seeing Mr. Relsly, and maybe just this Brad Austin for a moment or two. Well, she surmised, this Brad must be his assistant or something and maybe starts the interview or he has a position he thinks I might fill. Well, one more person to convince...that is, if I want the job, if it's right for me...if I even get an offer. Deirdre was being quite pleasant with Ashley after meeting her in the reception area and on the way to the third floor. This allowed Ashley to calm down a little as they walked and as it appeared that Deirdre was fully accepting Ashley as a young woman job applicant. The elevator up, the hallways they entered, all looked very standard to Ashley. It helped calm her a little. They entered an outer office, with what looked like a secretarial desk and an open door to an inner one, and after Deirdre motioned Ashley to wait, she went to the door and said, "Ashley Miller is here, Brad." Ashley heard a male voice in there, "Okay, thanks, Deirdre, you can go, and close the outer door if you would, please." "Right." Deirdre turned to Ashley and said, "He'll be right out." She took a breath and with an attractive smile, said, "Good luck." "Thanks, um, it was nice meeting you." "Yes, nice meeting you too, bye. Maybe we'll see each other later. I can fill you in a little, if you'd like." Ashley smiled back, saying, "I'd like that. Thank you." With her own smile, Deirdre nodded a little as she left Ashley standing there in the middle of the room with the door closing behind her. Ashley now took a breath trying to remain as calm as possible. This Deirdre had certainly helped as she seemed friendly, non-judgmental, and just pleasant. That had aided her a lot in trying to maintain some kind of composure. Chapter 3: An Unexpected and Maybe Unwelcome Position She heard a noise in the interior office and then a young man came out, and stopped just across the doorway, as he looked at Ashley, practically staring at her, almost up and down with a smile forming and little nods both of which became more intense as the seconds ticked by. It made her a little uncomfortable and got her nervous again. The silence was also causing her to be more self-conscious than she had been since before she left the clothing store. Finally, she forced herself to say, "H.hello. I'm here for the One o'clock interview...? He continued staring at her, with a look she didn't fully understand, but it made her even more nervous. It reminded her of how some of Ash's more macho male friends would stare at some of the more attractive girls. She didn't really understand it then, and even less so now. More of a grin than a smile. Finally, he said, extending his hand, "Yes, Ashley Miller isn't it?" She nodded as he continued, "Brad Austin. Nice meeting you, Ashley. And right on time, I like that, very punctual, a good trait." She took his hand, and she felt that it was firm and while it could be a strong grip, it was rather gentle holding her hand, even with it being obviously larger than hers. She replied, "Nice meeting you, Mr. Austin." Not letting go of her hand he continued, "My, my, your job application gave no indication that you were so pretty. Why don't you step into my...office? Oh, and please call me Brad." Looking up at him, she did feel that he was even more handsome looking than the limo driver. He was solidly built, easily over six feet, penetrating dark eyes, an interesting smile, expensive looking suit. Like an older version of some of the 'jocks' she remembered from high school and the one year of college. But, the overriding thought she was now having was, doesn't he notice that I'm not quite the same person that sent in that photo? That my resume implied, well sort of I think, that I was a male? "Oh, um, okay," Ashley replied as Brad started gently pulling her arm, sort of directing her into the inner office. With that she walked to the door, while Brad continued holding her hand until she passed him. As she passed, he slipped his right hand onto her lower back, more or less continuing to direct her into the office, saying, "There you go." Slightly startled but trying to ignore it, she got up the nerve to ask, "Um, am I dressed...appropriately?" "Oh, yes, you certainly are. I'll have to compliment Jen when I see her again. You are very well attired, just perfect for the office. She does understand my, um, our...needs quite well. So have a seat right here, if you would." He directed her to a swivel chair in front of a desk, his desk, Ashley guessed and she said, "Okay." This interview was going in such a different direction than most all of Ash's previous ones. Brad had definitely taken full control and all Ashley could do was follow his directions. For some reason it gave her a little shiver. Once she was seated, he said, "All right, let's get you in the right setting," and he firmly swiveled the chair so that she was facing the desk with the chair rather close to the desk. He then stood right in front of her and sort of sat up on the desk, with one foot on the floor, looking down at her, with still that smile on his face. They were quite close now, with Ashley having to look up at him, and he down at her. The way this was going, Ashley felt, she didn't exactly know how to describe it, but she felt maybe somewhat vulnerable, perhaps, having to look up at Brad like this. He was definitely all male, and he was treating her definitely as a young woman, someone he seemed to find very attractive and in whom he was showing maybe more than just a professional interest. The thought of this and what it could lead to was starting to cause her a little embarrassment. Noticing that her resume with the picture attached (as Ash) was on his desk, and how he mentioned she now looked, she then thought that maybe he had looked at the picture and just mistakenly assumed that he was seeing a young woman, dressed in casual clothes and just glanced at the resume. Maybe the picture showing Ash's longish hair, his name which could seem non gender specific, the seeming neutral colors of his clothes and the way he was looking, maybe all that gave a mistaken impression. And when he talked to her on the phone and found that she was close to the clothing store, told her to go there, and called Jen and told her a young woman was coming. Jen then seeing Ash decided to correct his mistake and dress her as a young woman. How could she possibly now try to tell him any different? It would make for an embarrassing moment for both of them if she did and he actually had made a mistake and she acknowledged that she let Jen do it. He appeared to assume she was female, so why not follow through. Despite what Jen and the girls at the salon had said, she still doubted that she would actually get a job offer and anyway, she, no doubt, would have to refuse it if she did. "So, tell me a little about yourself," he asked. 'Oh, my,' she thought to herself, 'this is sort of a different way than job interviews in the past, she thought. First, he asked me to call him 'Brad'. I don't think an applicant or even a new hire is supposed to be that friendly with her potential boss. And isn't he supposed to tell me the job, then glance at my resume and ask how any of my previous jobs might fit into what they're looking for, and then my telling him about specific parts of each job? Well, just tell him, I guess.' And she did, some about where she now lived, her family, her schooling, her previous jobs, trying her hardest to keep all of them gender neutral at best as well as reasonably positive, of course. She decided also to pretty much agree to almost anything he said, as much as possible, as she just expected to say no to any job offer at the end, although she still doubted she would get one. He'd probably say something like, 'Thank you, we'll be in touch', and then she'd get a form letter or worse, a text, telling her she was rejected. "So you live over in the Woodside neighborhood? An apartment I would presume?" "Yes, just a small one...for now." "You're by yourself? No roommate?" "Um, no roommate. Just a single." "Good, good, nice to know. If I...um, we hire you, as my executive assistant, I would hope you would understand that it would be a long term commitment. Not only do I have several projects coming up that I would, um, need help on, quite close help, actually, but I'm also expecting to rise through the ranks here and I would want who ever I hire to stay with me as I go. The more assistance you can provide along the way, the more valuable you'll be to me. And, of course, as I get raises so would you." She noticed that his smile got wider and almost seemed to turn into a leer as he finished, "The more you can give to me, the more I can provide to you in return." Although it was a little unsettling, she didn't really understand what his look meant, and put it aside as she considered what he just said, thinking, 'Well, I guess I can understand that', and then finally saying, "I understand. I believe that's, um, something I'd like." "Good. Now of course there will be a significant number of late hours, times with the work load where we'll have to discuss things in detail and go over your current assignment, and even more travel, so if you have any commitments outside of the office, group activities, spending time with friends, and the like, they'll definitely have to be secondary, very minimal at the most to what I require here. I want someone dedicated to doing what I need to have done. Working...quite closely with me. Can you do that?" "Yes, I, um, believe I can," she replied. 'It does sound interesting,' she thought, 'although he hasn't yet told me exactly what I'll be doing. I would like to travel, however the long hours could be difficult, but I did decide to be agreeable until he offers me something.' "Very good. Now the salary for this position starts at $25,000 per year. That's because the workweeks could easily exceed forty hours, so since it's not hourly, there's no paid overtime. 1 week vacation at a year, 2 weeks in the 2nd year. And of course, the standard bank holidays and company benefits, health insurance, savings plans, the usual. And as I said, we'll look at yearly raises, depending on my promotions. So, what do you think?" 'My goodness!' she thought, 'that's a lot of money, way more than I've ever made before. I could move out of my place and into a nicer place in several months at most, maybe even consider a used car. That would be so great!' "That sounds really good, I, um..." "Now, so far I've interviewed several young women today and any one of you would be good choice, still I will have to make that choice." Ashley was now a little elated as well as somewhat worried. It sounded like he was seriously considering her, which she had not expected until just a few moments ago. However, she still didn't think she could accept an offer even with that salary and benefits, although she had to admit it would so greatly help her. She would no doubt have to keep coming in as Ashley, and while maybe it could work, she wasn't sure she wanted to do it, but to get this far in the interview and then be rejected, she felt that she would be very disappointed. But now maybe, he had made his choice and he was going to tell her, 'thank you, for coming in, I'll be in touch.' "But," he continued, "I'm very glad you're agreeable. Yes, after meeting you, getting to know you, and after comparing you to the others, I think you'll be perfect, absolutely perfect, just exactly what I'm looking for. So, you're hired! Welcome to Johnston Industries. That is, if you'll accept. And if you're ready, you can start now and we can get going on some of the projects immediately." It took her a moment for it all to sink in as she began to realize, 'He's offered me the job, and it's for more than I ever dreamed of. And starting right now! That's so wonderful as I can use that money as soon as my first paycheck comes. And my parents will be happy. But, I don't even know what I'll be doing! He hasn't described the job at all except working long hours, and traveling. I haven't even filled out any forms or anything. This is so very odd. And besides, how can I accept as I am? I can't keep living as a girl, can I? Even if I did, I certainly don't have enough clothes for tomorrow, much less any additional days, and I can't wear this again tomorrow, for sure. Anyway, eventually he's bound to realize I'm sort of a guy underneath all this, and then what will happen? He'll no doubt become upset with me, maybe call the authorities. But if I say 'no' will I ever get any other offer this good?' "Well? How about it? Since you're here, I can definitely show you around, get you set up, go over some of the projects. I think that would really work, don't you?" he asked as he got up off the desk and began leaning into her. "I...I don't....um....you see...." "Don't be a fool, Ashley! It's a great position...right under me, if...you catch my drift." Blushing a little at how close he was now, and not fully listening to him, she thought, 'I suppose I can start now, I mean, if I don't like it, I can always just quit at the end of the afternoon, say that it just isn't working out and I quit. I'm not doing anything else today, that's for sure. And what can happen? We're in an office, he'll just introduce me to people, show me where I would be working, and probably even let me get settled while he goes back to work. I could live with that for another hour or two, I suppose. "I, um, I....yes, I can, um, start now...I guess." "Good! Very good! That's my girl, I think you'll really work out well, and like it here," he said as he reached around and patted her lightly on the lower back. "So, come with me and I'll show you your desk and layout and everything." He reached for her hand, and without thinking she let him take it, and swiveling the chair, he helped her up. They went back into the outer office and Brad had her sit in her chair behind the desk which now seemed to be hers. He provided her with the various passwords to the computer and system, and had her log in to and learn where the various files and application programs were located as well as how to operate the printer. "I assume you're a good typist?" "Um, yes, I can type. Maybe not the best, but I think about 40 words a minute." "That's good for what I'll need. I'll be having you type up various documents, letters and such. Not a lot, but maybe a couple or so each day. Now let's work on the phone." He showed her how to operate the phone, how to ring him on the intercom part and how to switch calls to him. "You'll answer it, the standard way, 'Johnston Industries, Mr. Austin's office, who's calling' fairly standard, let me know by the intercom, then switch it over, or take a message. Now, I'll want you to keep an online appointment book for me, which is right here, and make sure I'm reminded of appointments, meetings, phone calls and so on. I'll also be asking you to do small errands for me as I can get quite busy and just run out of time. Not a lot, but I just want you to understand all that's required. Any questions?" "Um, no, not right now, but I might have some when I start doing things." "That's fine, you can come and ask me any time, of course, when I'm not terribly busy or in a meeting." "I understand." "Okay, the other important job will be to give a preliminary review to the documents that I have to study. Let's get one out right now, one I've already reviewed and we can go over it, and I'll show you what I'm looking for. I don't expect you to know everything right away, so we'll start off with the easier ones, so you can get used to them. So, let's do one right now." All the time he was showing her the various duties, he practically had one arm wrapped around her with it resting on the back of her chair while he remained quite close, enough so that she sometimes felt his chest moving as he breathed. She found it a little intimidating, but didn't quite know what to say or do about it, as she had never experienced anything like this before, and she certainly didn't want to upset him, having just started a job. As he began showing her the document he retrieved from a drawer in her desk, he moved in a little closer to her. He was now leaning right over her on her right side as she was sitting in the chair. He had his left arm now over the top of the chair towards her, so if she sat up a little straight, she could feel it against her back. She could also smell his cologne, and as close as he was now to her she could almost sense how masculine and strong he seemed. He showed her, as he had her page through it, where the parts were that he, and now she, should be looking for. Occasionally, he covered her right hand with his to show her an important part. She began feeling a little overwhelmed by how close he was, how he seemed to be manipulating her. She could almost constantly feel his breathing as his left side of his chest came against her upper right arm. He often complimented her saying things like, 'good girl, that's my girl, you're as smart as you are pretty'. She had never been this close to someone for this amount of time where they were so complimentary, so seemingly caring, so attentive, so forceful. She sort of admitted to herself that it was...interesting, and if she were actually a girl she might even consider, well, going out with him, if he were to ask, of course. Which she assumed would never happen. He remained close to her for the next hour or so. About 4 PM, he mentioned to her that the workday started at 8:30 AM and he expected her to be here on time every morning. She nodded, but then remembered and said, "Oh, I forgot, this, um, the outfit I'm wearing is the, uh, only um one...." He smiled at her, that sort of grin and said, "Yes, it is very attractive on you." He looked at her a little more and she guessed he saw the question forming in her eyes and he then continued, "Ah, yes, I understand. Okay, yes, yes, that's it." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her. It had a telephone number on it and the name 'Jen'. He said to her, "Call this number right now, ask for Jen, 3rd Floor, Women's Clothes, you know, the sales clerk you saw earlier today. And when she answers, tell her Mr. Austin wants to talk to her. Can you do that?" "Um, yes," she replied and took the phone from him which he now had in his hand and punched in the numbers. After a moment, with the phone against her ear, she glanced up at Mr. Austin and smiled, saying, "Hi, may I speak to Jen on the 3rd Floor, Women's Clothes?" "Yes, I'll wait." She looked up at Brad again and smiled and he smiled back. "Oh, hi, Jen? Mr. Austin from Johnston Industries would like to talk to you. Just a moment, please." Brad reached out his hand and took the phone. "Jen? Hi, this is Brad...Yes, you did a great job...exactly what I was looking for...yes, she's now working for me, that was her...Yes, you can do something. She'll need three or four nice outfits, also whatever accessories you think, that's right, you know her size....Good...You're open to 7, right?...Good, we'll be by about 6:30 to pick them up...That's right. See you then...Thanks so much...I will...You too... Bye." He put the phone back in his pocket and said, "That takes care of that, you'll now have nice things to wear into next week. Jen's a real doll. Nice to know someone like her." "I agree. She was very nice to me." As she considered what just took place, Ashley was beginning to understand what that all meant. She would now have clothes she could wear for tomorrow and into the next week, with the expectation of her coming back here every day. She would be remaining as Ashley for some time if she didn't stop all this. But how could she? She needed the money, and it would be great. Maybe just do this until she got that first paycheck, and then say it isn't working out. Could she do that? She seemed to have passed so far, but could she manage all this for another week or two? "Um, thank you for that call, but I'm not sure I can, uh, pay for all those new clothes. Is there some..." Brad touched his index finger to her lips and smiled at her, "Don't you worry about it right now, not at all. I do have an expense budget, we'll see how things go today, tomorrow and into next week and we can talk about it then. Okay?" "Um, yes. Okay. Thank you!" At that moment, his phone rang and he pulled it out of his pocket handed it to Ashley saying, "Here, you can get some practice now answering it, like I told you earlier. Can you do that?" "Yes," she said as she took the phone. "Hello, Johnston Industries, Mr. Austin's phone." "Yes, who's calling, please?" "Yes, just a moment," she said to the phone, then turned to Mr. Austin and said, "It's a Mr. Larry Donaldson." "Okay, I'll take it, just finish up." "Yes, Mr. Austin will be right with you." She gave the phone back to Mr. Austin as he smiled at her and said, "Very good, Ashley, you're a natural for this." The compliment made her smile. He then replied into the cell phone, "Hey Larry, you ol' dog you. What's going on?"...."Sounds great, but well, no, I can't make it tonight. Got something going on."...."Heh, heh, yep, you guessed it. Working out reallllly well."...."Oh, yes, definitely, I expect to. Pretty soon, I imagine."...."Next week?"...."Yeah, sure...Oh, definitely. I'll be glad to show you the goods then, maybe even share."...."Oh yeah. You got it. For sure."...."Hey, take care. Talk to ya later, pal." After punching off, he turned to Ashley and said, "Good job, Ashley, that's exactly how I'd like you to handle my calls, but, of course, future calls will be on the office phone." Brad continued to work very close to and with her for quite a while and when he finally went back into his office, she saw that it was closing in on 6PM. She now understood a little better what her days would be like, if she continued working here. He came back out after a few moments and said to her, "Okay, I believe we've covered more than enough for now. Do you have any questions?" "Oh, um, no. But, I didn't realize it was getting so late," she said to him, "I should really get going as the buses don't come as often and even stop running if it gets too much later." "Okay, let's call it a day. And don't you worry your pretty little head about getting back to your place. I'll be happy to give you a ride. We can stop at VanHisen's on the way so you can get your new clothes. Better than the hassle of a bus ride. Say, how would you like to have dinner with me after we pick up your things? I'd like that very much. We can talk about your job some more. And the restaurant is not that far away from downtown and even a little on the way to your place. It will be a lot easier than having to take the bus downtown, pick up those packages and then get back on and go to your place. What do you say?" She hesitated, not sure if it was a good idea, but realized it would make things so much easier. After a moment's hesitation she agreed and cleared off her desk and grabbed her shoulder bag. He held the door for her as they left his office. Once in the hallway, she realized how quiet things were and guessed most the others had left at 5PM. They went to the company parking lot and took his car, a late model rather expensive one, with Brad holding the door for her. They made their way to VanHisen's going in together and met Jen who was very positive and told Ashley that she had been absolutely sure Ashley would get the job and wasn't she right? Ashley could only agree. Jen also gave her a large envelope with some papers and other things which she said were helpful hints about doing her makeup and dressing. Brad and Ashley left with a bundle of boxes of clothes and other accessories they put in the back seat. They then went to one of the more upscale and expensive restaurants, one that Ashley never expected to ever get into, and had dinner. Brad ordered for both of them, a pasta salad for Ashley and a bottle of wine. For quite a while, Ashley could only think that for all intents and purposes, she was now on a dinner date with a young man, and she was his young woman date. No doubt anyone in the restaurant who glanced at them would just assume they were dating if not yet already married. During dinner, he kept her wine glass filled, to which she really didn't pay much attention, and by the end of the meal, she was feeling lightheaded. It was now after 9:00P.M., and, to her relief, he took her straight to her place. He helped her carry things in, although she was somewhat embarrassed about how it looked when they first entered. "I apologize for the room. I've only been in it for a week or two, and haven't had time...." "Ashley, it's all right. I understand. Starting out on your own and all that. Tell you what, in a month or so, I'll help you find a much better place. I have some contacts and maybe I can get you a real good deal. How does that sound?" "That would be wonderful, Mr., I mean, Brad. Thank you so much." They continued chatting for a few more moments as he said all the right things, and she enjoyed everything that was happening, how nice and caring he was, how dinner was, her getting a new wardrobe and especially her now having a paying job, especially with the possibility now of moving on to a better place.. As they set the last of the packages down, he said, "I'd really like to stay and talk some more, but it is getting late and we do have to be back at work tomorrow." "Oh, yes, of course. Well, thank you so much for dinner and getting these clothes for me and helping bring them in, I really appreciate it." She was starting to feel more relieved that he was going without hardly any involvement on either part as well as her not having to ask him to leave, but at the same time, to her surprise, she also felt a little disappointed that he was leaving as she had to admit he had been so nice to her and she certainly felt she had had a very nice time. He continued to give her compliments as they walked over to the door and he opened it. He then stopped in the open doorway, and turning to her, took her hands in his saying, "I really do like you, Ashley, you've been an excellent worker today, and now I hope for many more days, where I can count on you helping me move up the corporate ladder. You're just what I was looking for when I decided I needed an assistant, and I'm very impressed with how fast you're catching on, and showing that you're ready to take on the responsibilities of the position. I really couldn't be any happier with you than I am right now. And for that you deserve a little token of my affection as a reward." He had been slowly moving closer to her and with her hands in his, and her back to the side of the door frame, she really couldn't go much of anywhere, not that she wanted to, because she was enjoying everything he was telling her. With her hands in his, he then looked deeply into her eyes, as she stood there not sure at all of what to do or say. He then gently pulled her arms up to his shoulders and sliding his arms around her, he pulled her into him into an embrace and his head bent down as she almost reflexively turned hers up, and they kissed. As it sort of took her breath away, Ashley was too lost in everything that was happening to even have an inkling of what she might have wanted to do or if she even wanted it. But, it didn't matter as now her lips had met his and her arms were up on his shoulders. Her eyes closed rather instinctively and she in a small way, a little hesitantly returned the kiss, not trying to stop him or push him away in the least. She had kissed a girl or two in her life, and sort of liked it and hoped the girl did to, but she realized this was a rather deeper and more involved kiss than any of the ones Ash had given. And now she sort of guessed she might have an idea of what the girl felt when Ash had kissed her. She was simultaneously excited, embarrassed, worried, and shivering, from everything that had happened this day, and now especially to be kissed like that, as he finally pulled back and said, "I'll come by in the morning just after 8 and pick you up. No need for you to take a bus for your first full day of work." "Oh! Uh, o.okay, thank you," she stammered out still in a slight daze from the kiss. "Good-bye, Ashley, and thank you for a very enjoyable evening." "Oh, um, y.you're welcome, and th.thank you for ev.everything...Brad...b.bye." She stood at the doorway, still in that sort of a daze, watching him go to his car, then seeing him glance back and wave slightly with the smile of his, and finally drive away. She took a breath, the first really normal one in a moment or two, stepped back and closed the door, trying to understand all that had happened. She had planned to call her mother and tell her the good news about getting a job, and the first day at work, knowing she'd have to work on changing back to Ash's more male voice, but realized she couldn't really do that with what she was feeling right now. Sitting on the edge of bed, she had lots of thoughts about all that happened. She now had a job and it was definitely a well-paying one. But she now understood that she really had to appear as a young woman since she would have no choice, especially with all those new clothes Brad, Mr. Austin, got for her that were now hanging up. But the most involved thought was that a man was actually interested in her as a woman. And they kissed. And she would see him tomorrow and for who knows how many more months...and maybe even years. He certainly seemed to enjoy being with her. Could this be the start of some kind of relationship? Could those intermittent - and sometimes embarrassing and even a little erotic - dreams of the past fifteen or so years actually be coming true? And should she now consider, what was that word again she saw when furtively reading about transsexuals? Oh, yes, transitioning? She had once, sort of tentatively looked into it, but the cost and time involved, and fear of coming out to her family and friends, much less the thought of not being able to pass, all caused her to push it away from her mind. Now, though, there was maybe a reason to consider it again. Yet she also realized she was alone, and that made it all the scarier. Should she do it, and if so how would she even start? She finally got up and got ready for bed, carefully hanging and putting away what she had worn today. She tried wiping off a little of the make-up she had on, but realized the girls at the salon were right, it seemed definitely long lasting if not maybe permanent. She then, after considering it for a while, put on a teddy that she pulled from way in the back of the bottom drawer of the desk. She considered some of other items back there and realized the clothes that were now hanging up, were so much better, and more stylish, and just...more attractive than what she had secretly kept for some time. Since she had had a small breakfast, no lunch and then a decent sized dinner, she had to use the facilities. Now for the first time since around noon, she actually started examining things between her legs. Having been dressed and made up in that salon and not understanding what all had been done to her, she was a little taken aback at what she saw...practically nothing, although she felt like there was something there, just not dangling out. After feeling around a little she discovered that the various parts had been pushed up into her, there was some kind of very smooth and flesh feeling tape holding it all together which was barely noticeable. If she wasn't doing this somewhat thorough examination, she might not have noticed it. In feeling around, she discovered that there seemed to be a little tube just inside an opening neither of which had been there before. Not exactly sure what was going on, but having that urge from her bladder, she sat on the toilet and to her relief, things still worked, at least in a somewhat reasonable manner. This was now one more moment, where she felt like she was more girl than guy, at least on the outside. She guessed if she had to, she would definitely be using the woman's restroom at work. And she understood that she would surely be spending a lot more time in the restroom doing all that had to be done before and after. Finishing up, she now felt ready to retire for the night. Finally, once in bed, she relaxed more so than she had all day, thinking back a little on all that had happened to her. She had dressed and appeared as a young woman, and nobody with whom she came in contact seemed to think or treat her any differently than what she would have expected. Yes, Jen accompanied her to the street, the limo driver accompanied her to the front door of the office, and Mr. Austin, well Brad as he wanted to be called, accompanied her to his car, then back to VanHisen's to pick up her new clothes, then to dinner and finally home, all with no curious onlookers. Even in the restaurant, she didn't notice anyone looking or pointing in her direction or acting in any way out of the ordinary. Maybe it was because she was with someone, and two people, like a man and a woman, together might seem quite normal to others, not requiring a second glance. And maybe she actually did pass, and was fully seen as a female. Taking a deep breath, and after some tossing and turning, she eventually fell asleep and slept soundly until morning. The alarm clock woke her up at 6:30 and she immediately got up and started to get ready for the day. For some reason, she felt a lot more relaxed, until she focused on what waited for her, both looking presentable as Ashley, as well as Mr. Austin coming to pick her up and take her to work. She read the notes Jen sent along which gave suggestions on cosmetics and appearance, and spent some time trying to get her make-up just right, as well as her hair, both before and after dressing. The make-up was only a little problem as she just touched it up. She was less happy with what she could do with her hair, but it eventually looked presentable. She again used the toilet with fewer problems than the night before and accepted that was how she would be using it for the near future at least. In the bottom of that envelope that Jen had provided with helpful hints on dressing and applying cosmetics, she found a small prescription type bottle. She looked at the papers again and found a note where Jen had written, 'take one of these each day until they're gone. They're similar to that drink Lisa provided. They won't hurt you in the least and will actually help you through the day. You don't have to take them, but I would strongly suggest it.' Ashley thought about it for a few moments, then quickly poured herself a cup of coffee that she had made using the hotplate and took the pill. She would rethink all this tomorrow morning depending on what happened today. She also heated up a mini-bagel and adding cream cheese, ate it. She finished and put everything away as it was now close to 8. She then went back to the bathroom to make sure she was presentable. When Brad showed up several minutes later, she was as ready as she could imagine and met him at the door, walking out to his car with him. She was wearing a two piece cranberry colored outfit, skirt and matching vest, with a white long sleeved blouse and fluffy polka-dot looking bow tie, which when she had looked in the mirror earlier, she saw that the outfit appeared very slimming on her. He appeared quite pleased to see her and they exchanged friendly greetings. Brad complimented her on her looks saying, "That's a very attractive ensemble, and like yesterday it's perfect for what the company is looking for." She smiled, and replied softly, "Thank you." She liked him more and more with the compliments he was giving her. She was now starting her second day of work, still a little surprised she had a job, and even more so that she had been kissed by a man, by this man sitting next to her and with whom she will be working for and next to for some time. And more so that even if the kiss itself was only a little one, she didn't refuse it in the least and maybe in a way, sort of returned it. And mostly that she was now into the second day of being a young woman. "Should I bring a lunch?" she asked him after they greeted. He thought for a moment, and then replied, "No, not today, you can start bringing one next week if you want. Today, I can take you to a great place to have lunch, nearby, and it's quite reasonable. It's up to you what you'd like to do." "Okay, thank you, I guess that would work," she replied, not wanting to cause any delay. She then closed and locked the door, and they went to his car again with him slipping his hand onto her lower back and more or less directing where to go. She still wasn't sure what it all meant and even if it was acceptable, but she didn't say a word. At the car, he held the door for her and helped in her, then got in the driver's side and they drove to the office, with both keeping the conversation light but continuous. During the day, it became more and more apparent to Ashley that Brad was now expecting a lot more from her, mostly more intimacy. He continued staying very close to her, as in immediately next to her at her desk, patting her more, holding her hand more, getting in quite close as he continued showing her things, either at her desk, or calling her into his office. Having absolutely no experience in this sort of work place arrangement, she could only let him continue, although it worried her more and more throughout the day. Around 9:30, he came to her desk, with a bag in his hand, and said, "I'm going to get really busy for the rest of the day, working on some projects that are getting hot as well as helping you, so I'd like you to go to the dry cleaners for me and pick up my clothes. Here's the ticket. And I want you to drop off these clothes to be cleaned. Can you do that for me?" "Um, oh, yes, sure...um, right now?" "Probably a good idea. The cleaners is just down the street around the corner, from the caf? next to us. Here's some cash and the key access to my car, put the cleaned clothes in my car if you would." He pulled out two twenty dollar bills from his wallet which looked to Ashley like it was stuffed with lots of twenties. He also gave her the key access to his car. "Okay, Mr. Austin" she said and stood up and took the bag and bills from him. "Please, like I asked, here in the office, call me Brad." She smiled and nodded, and went to the cleaners as requested, and it didn't take that long. She was at first a little shy about being outside, by herself. But after a few moments, she did like being there and walking, as it was a very pleasant late Spring day with a comfortable temperature. Because of how the day before where she was seen and seemed to be accepted as a normal female, she now gained somewhat more confidence about herself as she made the trip. Eventually she just enjoyed the walk, especially hearing her heels - black opened toed slings with three inch heels - click on the sidewalk. She was wearing the waist cincher again beneath her outer clothes, and was thinking far less about it than before as she was now just more naturally breathing higher in her chest. She noticed that several males she passed, glanced her way, even smiling a little, and including the women, none seemed at all shocked or surprised or did second takes, and there were no pointed fingers that she could notice. She hoped it was because they just saw a young woman. If she was going to continue like this, she also hoped she would stop thinking about how others saw her. 'Maybe this isn't so bad, living as a young woman,' she considered, 'maybe it might work out for me just to stay Ashley, well, for a while, at least. I suppose I can live this way for the weekend and come back in Monday morning and decide if I want to continue. But things will work out so much nicer if Mr. Austin doesn't spend so much time with me.' She had felt a little good about getting out the office, but she sort of wished she could see who else worked there. Mr. Austin, Brad, had introduced her to the receptionist, whose name was Brenda, in the lobby, so she had no trouble leaving and entering the building again, or going to Brad's car and hanging the cleaned clothes on one of the hooks in the back seat. Returning to her desk, she pulled out one of the documents that they had looked at the previous day and again worked on learning what she was to look for. However, to her dismay, Brad kept coming out to see her quite often, which continually made her worry about what he seemed to be wanting and how he was treating her. They went out to lunch around 12:30 and as the caf? he suggested was just a little over a block away and it was a nice day, they walked. As before, Brad quite often had his hand on the back of her skirt, just above her hips, sort of directing her which way to go. She had no idea what to do about it, and let him pretty much do what he wanted. As he had mentioned, he talked to her about what he was expecting from her, how much he appreciated her apparent desire to learn as much as she could, and where he wanted his future to go, which would include her. He also paid for both meals, explaining that it would be charged to an expense account, which made her feel better about not contributing. She now had had dinner the night before and was now having lunch with Brad, Mr. Austin. She began to seriously consider that this could be leading somewhere. Was he interested in having some kind of social relationship with her and they would start dating? How could she do that? she wondered. Or were they already dating? And how could she get him to stop being so close to her, at least in the office. She was beginning to think that what he was doing may not be totally appropriate. Or, maybe that's how he just normally was. Maybe some people were like that. But she began considering that, even though she didn't know how, she shouldn't let it continue. Coming back from lunch, she now totally felt that his attention to her was almost overwhelming her, as he barely left her side once they were back in the office. After a few moments she said, "I do have to go the restroom, if that's all right?" "Of course it is, anytime you need to, that's fine." She grabbed her shoulder bag and walked to the women's restroom, hesitating for a moment outside the door, for as Ash, she had never been in one before. At that moment, the door opened and another young woman came out, which startled Ashley a little. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," the young woman said, then continued, "are you Ashley by the way?" A little surprised that someone else knew of her, Ashley answered, "Um, yes, Ashley Miller. I just started working yesterday in Mr. Austin's office." "Hi! I'm Lauren Samuels, I work down the hall for Mr. Relsly." "Hi, um, Lauren," Ashley replied and they shook hands. "Deirdre mentioned that she thought you started working here. Maybe we'll see each other around. Have a great day!" "Oh, yes, thank you, you too!" Lauren walked back down the hall, as Ashley went into the restroom, thinking that here was another person who seemed to fully accept her as Ashley. Maybe she really was passable, she thought. She went into a stall, and coming back out several minutes later, checked herself in the mirror, took a breath, and, thinking about it a little, pulled out her lipstick and touched up her lips a little. 'That wasn't so hard,' she thought, 'and another hurdle crossed.' Even though she wanted to, she had mixed feelings about meeting the other employees here. Would they all be as nice as Deirdre and now Lauren seemed? Would she fit in? She guessed women might be more discerning of what other women looked like. Maybe they would look her over and correctly see that she wasn't really female, just masquerading as one. She hoped that wouldn't be the case. She finished up, sighed, wondering what she could do about all the attention Mr. Austin was giving her, and walked back to Mr. Austin's office. She then remembered that she had not called his, no, her, no, Ash's mother to tell her about the job. She had wanted to the previous evening, but of course going to dinner with Mr. Austin, and getting back late as well as the moment of intimacy had her forgo the call. She ducked into what looked like an unused doorway, pulled out her cellphone, cleared her throat trying to find her lower voice and called. "Hi, Mom?"..."Yes, I'm doing fine, great even. I got a job!"..."Yes, and it's for a really nice salary and benefits."..."It's way across town on the east side, an office of Johnston Industries. I had an interview yesterday and they hired me and I, um, started today."..."Thanks, Mom, for your confidence in me."..."Oh! How I sound? I think I might have, um, maybe a little cold coming on?"..."Yes, I'll take care of myself. I promise."..."Yes, lots of fluid, and early to bed. I'm sure it's nothing. Don't worry about it."..."Oh! Dinner Sunday? I'm not sure, because I, um, have, uh, lots to study, to learn about my...new job. Maybe next week?"..."Ok, that might work. Oh, gotta go, get back to work now."..."I love you too, Mom. Tell Dad, please."..."Okay, good-bye." She was happy she made the call, it would ease her mother's worries. But now Ashley had a bigger worry, how to even begin to explain that for the near future anyway, they have another daughter instead of a son. She'll have to think of an excuse for next weekend if she kept up being Ashley. Which she pretty much now assumed she would most likely have to do. Once back at her desk, to her ever growing concern, Mr. Austin's presence close to her did continue into the afternoon, as he came to her a little after 2PM and asked, "Say, I have two tickets to that new play at the theater in town and if you're not doing anything tonight, I'd like you to come with me." He again stood almost right over her, with his hand on the back of her chair, such that if she moved even slightly, it was fully against her shoulder and upper arm. "Oh, um, when does it start?" "Around 8. We can drive downtown right after work, there's a small place we can get a bite to eat and then it's only a block to the theater. What do you say?" "I...I don't, um, know," she said as she thought, 'Would this be the third date I would have with him?' "I really plan to see it and these tickets were quite hard to get, center section 8th row which is the best location. I'd really like you to come with me, but if you can't I'll need to know pretty quick." She didn't like being rushed like this, but at the same time, still felt that even if she didn't owe him something for hiring her (which she still felt a little like she did), he was still her boss, and she should continue having him like her, so she replied, "Oh, um, okay, then yes, I...I guess I'd like that, thank you." "Good, good. We can head out right after work for a little supper, and then see the play." That only seemed to encourage him even more to stay very close to her, as she now began to imagine what all could happen that evening. They'd go to diner, then to the play, then no doubt he would take her to some place for drinks afterwards and then, based on what she imagined would often happen in situations like this, he'd take her back to his place, or he would encourage her to invite him into her place, and since it was a Friday, they'd spend serious time together perhaps whole the night, maybe the whole weekend and... No, no, that couldn't possibly happen. Not at all. He would find out about her, and there would be all sorts of problems. She would never consent to that. But, well, she had seen herself in the mirror a lot in the past 24 hours and she surely began to accept that she looked attractive. And he was a man and he was certainly showing some serious interest in her.... As she began to consider all sorts of possibilities, it made her increasingly nervous and even more worried as she realized he'd eventually find out about her, and probably get very upset. By around 3PM his constant presence by her along with her worries and concerns were now becoming so intense as to cause her to be almost in tears when he would leave. She finally decided she had to tell Mr. Austin (she also felt she couldn't really call him 'Brad' in the office, for sure), to not try be so close to her, and, more importantly, to tell him the truth about herself. And she had to do it soon, like within the hour, probably. Not that long after she made her decision, now only wondering exactly when to do it, he called her to come into his office. She decided now was the time and, upon entering and before he could say anything, she said, "Mr. Austin..." He cut her off, asking as sincerely as possible, "Please, like I've asked before, call me Brad. I'd really like that." She sort of ignored that and continued, "I...don't know how to say this." "Just go ahead, Ashley. It's all right. I find I'm liking you an awful lot, and I hope you're liking me. I am looking forward to going to the theater and everything this evening. I hope you are too." "I..I do like you, and.and the theater sounds really nice, but...I really have to say this, please let me." "I'm glad you do, so, okay, just go ahead, I'm listening." "Well, um, it's about...me." She gathered up all her courage, took a breath and said, "Um, well, I. I don't know how exactly to say this, but, well, you see, I'm, um, I'm not exactly...what I appear to be." He smiled at her, a warm, inviting, friendly smile and said, "Ashley, Ashley, you don't have to tell me anything! Johnston Industries is a very open minded company, and it welcomes diversity. I appreciate what you're trying to say, that maybe there's something about your appearance or yourself that you feel I might not find acceptable. I only care for what's deep inside of you, and how you're trying to express that. Everything you've done today and yesterday since we met, has told me that you are exactly as you appear, and more so, that you are perfect for the position that I've been looking for. Which is why I hired you. "Ashley, I want you to know that I understand there are those that have gender related issues, and that there are differences in people. I personally have found that transgendered women are more dedicated to doing the best job they can, and are more willing to do what is necessary to be that exemplary employee. I truly appreciate that in people I hire, and you are everything and more than I had hoped for. I'm really pleased that you applied for a job here and that I got to hire you." She blushed slightly at the compliment, eventually replying, "Oh! You. you know?" "I only know that you appear as a very attractive young woman and I am more than willing to treat you as that woman, and I only expect you to treat me as a man who is interested in that young woman's best interests and future. Excuse me for a moment." He picked up his desk phone and put on a voice response saying, 'Hello, you've reached the phone of Brad Austin, Johnston Industries. I will be unavailable for the rest of today and until Monday morning. I will be checking my voice mail, so if you would like, please leave a message at the tone and I will reply at my first opportunity. Have a great day.' He then went over to the door, saying, 'Just a minute, here." He made sure it was closed and then locked it. He then came back and took Ashley's hands in his saying, "Come on, let's sit down over here and talk about it." Sort of surprised and a little relieved, although she was a little confused as to why he closed and locked the door, she continued to let herself be manipulated by him and they sat down on the couch with Brad keeping both her hands in his. He had positioned her on one end of the couch so that she really had no room to move as she was up against both the back and the fully padded sidearm. Brad sat down extremely close to her, which made Ashley feel a little uncomfortable. She asked, "Why did you lock the door and.." "I think we're about to have a serious conversation and I want to make sure no one interrupts us or unexpectedly enters and overhears anything or gets the wrong idea. It's to protect you and me. I hope you understand." "Oh, yes, I see. That's a good thing, I would guess." He nodded and then said, "Ashley, I just want the best for you. I think you have a great future in this company being my assistant, keeping me organized, reviewing these documents. That will all help me move up the corporate ladder and as far as I go, you'll go right with me. So far, everything you've done yesterday and today, all you've had to learn and do, you've done exceptionally well. I see that you're already keeping my appointment calendar up to date, and I know you've been going through those documents I gave you. And besides, I really appreciate you taking in and picking up my dry cleaning. That's saved me a lot of time and has allowed me to be as productive as I know I'm able." Ashley replied, "Thank you for all those kind words, I don't know if I'm all that. I'm just trying to do my best." "Well, I think you're doing great, and you deserve praise when it's rightfully earned." She blushed a little again but tried to get back to what she wanted to say, "Mr. Austin.." "Please, it's Brad." She sighed and continued, "Brad?" He gave her a huge smile at that and squeezed her hands slightly. She went on, "It's just that these last two days, they've been wonderful and all, and I really like my job, but, it's just, well, I mean, you've been awfully close and everything..." "Ashley, I've known some transgendered young women, and I'm very accepting of how they, and you, are. I want the best for you, but I'm guessing you're still quite new to being what you now are. And let me tell you, you are a very attractive young woman. Someone I'm sure lots of young men would absolutely love to go out with and spend time and maybe even have a relationship." "Oh, I don't know about that..." "Trust me, as pretty as you are, before you know it, you'll be asked out a lot. I just don't want to see you hurt in any way at all. At least until you've had some experience and know how to handle it. Like last evening when we went to dinner." "Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I did." "No, you did nothing wrong at all. You were very polite, and charming, had excellent manners and you were a wonderful companion. Having been out to dinner with a lot of attractive young women, I did notice that you were still just a little hesitant in doing things, choosing the right tableware, even holding your wine glass. You did nothing wrong, but I could tell that you were perhaps a little nervous about things that women with experience don't even think about." "Oh! I didn't know..." "I'm not trying to criticize you in the least. What I'm trying to do for you is give you lots of experience in going out in social situations so you feel totally comfortable doing everything you feel like. Like dinner last night or going to the theater tonight. The more things you do like that, the more you'll feel good about yourself, and the more natural you'll be. And since I'm fully aware and very supportive of how you are, you won't have to worry in the least about how I'm thinking about you." "Oh, I think I understand." "Good. You know, I think of it like you're a little bird just learning to fly. Eventually you'll leave the nest and go off on your own, and find others, but while you're still learning, I just want to make sure you're safe and protected from harm, so that when you do leave, you'll feel confident in yourself. Like that kiss last night. That was a token of my affection for you, as you exceeded so many of my expectations of what I wanted for an assistant. Like I've said, I like you very much, Ashley, and want the best for you. Giving you that kiss was just something I felt I could do for you to help you grow in your experiences." All the time he was telling her this, he had released his left from her hands, and was slowly edging closer, including slipping his left arm along the back of the couch behind her. He still held both her hands in his right. He continued, "I hope you're not misunderstanding how I'm trying to help you. Like how I gave you the ride this morning just to make it a little easier coming to work today, your first full day. I would expect you to be taking the bus to and from here quite often going forward. Same with bringing your lunch. If you do bring a lunch Monday, I'll show you the employee break and lunch room, introduce you to some of the other employees. And like going to the theater tonight, maybe next weekend I can take you to one of those new movie openings. The other weeknights I'll probably be busy. How would you like that?" "Um, yes, that would be nice, thank you." Ashley was feeling a little better about Brad and what he was expecting. She was very happy that he seemed to understand and accept that she was still somewhat male appearing underneath, although she wasn't exactly sure that she was whatever it was called, cross-dresser or transvestite. Or maybe just transgendered. Maybe it was a good thing what he was suggesting. She could sort of explore all that and feel really comfortable without having a close relationship. Maybe they would go to dinner and the theater and he'd just take her back to her place. They'd kiss at the most and he'd leave. She could live with that, and it did sound sort of enjoyable. And she had to admit to herself that thinking back on the kiss, she sort of did like it, a little maybe. And maybe she did like Brad, even a little more, especially with all that he had been saying now. "Good, I'm happy you feel that way. Like I said, you're really a very attractive young woman, I'd even say beautiful." "Oh, I'm not..." "Ashley, yes you are. I know you were at the salon yesterday, but today, you even look prettier than yesterday, and I'm guessing you did your own makeup and everything this morning. Am I right?" "Yes. It's just that..." "You are much too modest. Enjoy being the woman you are, the gorgeous young woman who has a great job, and has a fantastic future ahead of her. And with someone who cares about her very deeply, showing her the way, and who's helping her become the woman she's always wanted to be." She had been looking down, a little embarrassed by all his praise and barely paying attention to how they now were. He had his left arm slowly moving on to her back just below her neck, and he gently let go of her hands, and moved his right hand up to her chin and lifted it up so that her eyes were now locked onto his. "I do care a lot about you, Ashley. Ever since I walked out of my office yesterday, I realized I was in the presence of a very special young woman, someone who was finding herself and wanting to like herself a lot. Someone who was ready to take the next steps forward in her journey of being the woman of her dreams. You're that woman, Ashley, and you deserve every compliment you receive, and every token of affection anyone can give." With that, he moved her chin up and his head towards her and their lips met in another kiss. She wasn't as surprised as she had been last night, and, closing her eyes, in a way welcomed his advances, having liked everything he had been saying to her. He seemed like someone who maybe understood her and accepted her for exactly who she was right now, and who she might actually become in the future. Right now, that seemed a very reasonable and even attainable future. He pulled back after a moment or two as she just relaxed there in his arms, enjoying the moment, wondering if all kisses from men could be like this. She finally roused and with a little concern asked, "Sh.should we be doing this?" "Ashley, it's Friday afternoon, a lot of workers are already taking off for a fun weekend. We've spent the last day and half working hard, and we deserve some relaxation and moments of sharing our appreciation for each other. Being a man and a woman." And he kissed her again. Here again, was a very handsome man kissing her, telling her she was all woman, and showing that he appreciated so much about her. This was now far more romantic than she had ever imagined a moment like this might be, far beyond those fleeting moments of bits of dreams over the years. She decided to just let go and relax into his arms, letting him hold her, and like he said, protect her as she took little steps to open up her wings. After a moment or two of the embrace, as they pulled back, and with her eyes still closed, just enjoying the moment, he put his hands on either side of her waist and pulled her gently but firmly across his lap so that her left arm was over his right shoulder and she was now sitting, on his lap and leaning into him. She was a little surprised by this, but even more so by how easily he had lifted and moved her. He must be very strong, she thought. They kissed once more, shared some more verbal compliments, and then he started exploring her a little more by gently and lightly moving his left hand and fingers over her body, barely caressing parts of her. She was now feeling all sorts of emotions as he did that, and had a tightening down between her legs. For a moment, she enjoyed the experience, still relaxing in his embrace. And then she started thinking about what all she was feeling. Initially there was a feeling of contentment, as she felt like those dreams from a past time, were now coming true. But she also began understanding what he was now doing, and she awoke from her almost trance like state and became fully aware of his hands on her, and then, where they seemed to be going, and everything else he was doing. It all definitely seemed to be leading to a place she didn't think or now feel she wanted or was even ready to go. She sat up and quickly and purposely unwrapped his arms from around her, and slid off his lap so that she was sitting on the couch with some space between them before he could respond and said, "Brad, I don't know, but I think this isn't right at all." "What do you mean?" he said seeming amazed a little. "Well, I truly appreciate all the confidence you've shown in me, and everything you've done for me, but I really don't think it's a good idea for us to go any further, like this. I...I think we're going way too far as it is. I like everything you've said, but maybe, oh, we should...," she took a breath, "well, maybe I shouldn't go out with you tonight." He smiled with almost a laugh, which surprised her as he replied, "Of course, we'll be going out tonight. I've got the tickets and a dinner reservation already made. Don't get so concerned, I'm only trying to show you that I really enjoy being with you, and I just want to show you the affection and closeness that you deserve and I'm guessing even enjoy. Come on back here, come in close with me, and let's talk some more." "I...I can't. I don't know, maybe a lot of what you been saying about me is true, but I'm just not anywhere near ready for the kind of close relationship you...you seem to want. If anything, I truly need you to slow down...a lot, maybe even take a step back...or more." "You want me to slow down? Step back? I'm not sure what you mean." "It's something that's been building for these last two days. I'm becoming very uncomfortable when you come to my desk and get in so close to me when you're helping me, like when you're hovering over me, and I can feel, well, like your chest against my body or your hand on my back. I do sincerely appreciate all the help and concern you been providing and all, but from a professional standpoint I don't believe we should be that close in the office, at least there...here. It's just getting way too intimate to be acceptable for what I believe it should be." "Well, that intimacy with you that I've been showing was exactly what I was expecting when I hired you yesterday. Didn't you understand? You certainly seemed to like going out to dinner with me, spending the evening together, having me buy all those nice outfits for you, and especially last night's good-night kiss. Now, lunch today, and from what I can tell, you practically jumped into my arms just a few moments ago and really liked being as close as we were. Exactly what did you expect me to do?" She slowly stood and said, "Brad, Mr. Austin, what I expect and I would hope any employee expects is a strictly professional relationship, more so when we're in the office and working together. Maybe some time in several months down the road, maybe we might become closer, start a relationship outside the office, but definitely not now and not here. Not when I know so little about you, and not just starting a new job." She could tell his tone was changing and not for the better as he said, "Well, if that's how you feel, I have little use for you. I can get secretaries a dime a dozen just as good as you if I wanted," he paused, then continued, "What I want is a very close relationship with my assistant, besides what you have already shown as far as assignments. And, anyway if you really didn't want me to be as close as I have been, you could easily have refused my kiss last night, and even more so, these several again just now. Seems to me you're saying one thing, but really, you do want my attention...and my intimacy." Realizing that this wasn't going the way she wanted at all, she turned and went to the door and unlocked it, then turned back to him for a moment, and after taking another breath and understanding what she now had to say, said "If that's what you want, I can't work for you anymore, I.I quit!" She hated to say that, as she had just thought that things may actually be working out, but he way crossed whatever line there was in employer- employee relationships by pulling her onto his lap and then starting to fondle her. She began realizing that she really should have stopped it a lot sooner. He raised his voice in a demanding tone, "If you go out that door don't ever come back!" She completely ignored him and walked to her desk, gathered her things and headed to the outer door and the hallway, getting more upset and disappointed by the moment. Just before she got through the outer door, he came to the inner doorway and said, "I never did like you. You're just a slut out to tease guys. You would have eventually failed here anyway. So, since you're not working out at all, you're immediately fired as of now. Get out." Ashley again was almost in tears as she shut the door behind her and rushed down the hall as fast as she possibly could, practically running, and now with those last words still ringing in her ears. She had to get away from that horrible Mr. Austin as soon as possible. Seeing the elevator just ahead she started thinking on what she now needed to do, other than getting away from this place in a hurry. Any chance at a job here was now gone forever. Even if she applied to another division, no doubt they would find her or his name somewhere, contact Mr. Austin for information and he would tell them to forget all about her. Her life wasn't over, but it was close, she felt. Now thinking about all that happened and with her head down, she just berated herself over and over. Why did she have these thoughts and even urges? Why did she let that Jen get her looking this way? Yes, she felt sort of a giddiness or something, a feeling that she now looked like she had dreamt a number of times. Well, she realized she looked even better than that...a lot better, a whole lot better. And was feeling so much more...comfortable...and right. But where did it lead her? She just knew that these thoughts would eventually cause some serious problems and it looked like what she suspected would happen if they continued or she allowed herself to experiment even a little, was now coming true. And what if she couldn't find another job? How could she could she come up with another month's rent, buy food, pay the bills that she knew would pile up. Were menial jobs the only ones left? She couldn't go back to her parent's home, especially not looking like this. Besides, there was no room, nor could she ask her brother to take her in. And if she stayed like this as Ashley, how could she even face her family? Wondering what she was going to do next, well, after getting on the elevator which hadn't come yet, she decided that getting downstairs and finding a way back to her place was pretty much the best thing to do, for now anyway. Get back to her place, get these clothes off, throw them in a pile and get those others out of hiding and get rid of them all. Just do that word she had heard and read about a long time ago, and follow through, once again. Yes. Purge. It sounded disgusting, but she had long worried that these thoughts of hers as well as acting on them, would eventually get her into trouble, trouble which was now happening. She would have to do that, and force herself never to think this way again, except she knew deep down, that was most likely impossible. Chapter 4: Turning It Around The elevator buzzed indicating that a car was coming, and the door opened. Without paying attention as she was deep in her thoughts, she walked toward the open door not at all looking up. Some man was coming out of the car at that moment and they walked into one another, colliding, not enough to knock each other down, but enough that Ashley had to reach out to the edge where the door was to steady herself. Her shoulder bag dropped to the floor and the man in his attempt to steady himself, accidently kicked it about 4 or 5 feet back into the hallway. They both let out an 'oof' when they collided, as the man then then quickly said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss, please excuse me. I wasn't paying attention." "No, no, it was my fault, I was looking down," said Ashley as she started looking around for her shoulder bag. The man reached over and picked it up handing it back to her and said, "No, it was my fault. I'm so very sorry. Are you okay? Here's your bag, please accept my apology." "Yes, I'm fine, thank you. And please, you don't have to be sorry, nothing to apologize for. It was totally my fault, really. I was worrying about something, just not paying attention. But thank you for picking up my bag." At that moment, the elevator door closed and the car left, before Ashley could reach over and push the button again, as she said, "Oh, no!" This afternoon was not going well at all, she thought. The man, probably in his 30's, decent looking, but not particularly handsome to Ashley's opinion, just average, then said, "Well, I do apologize if I caused you to miss your ride, Miss. I was only trying to help. I hope you're okay?" "Thank you, but it's all right, I just need to calm down a little. It wasn't your fault at all, although, I do thank you for your assistance. I'm fine now. I really am." He gave her a nice smile and slight nod before turning to start walking down the hall as Ashley stood in front of the elevator door, having pushed the button again waiting for it to return. If she knew where the stairs were...and where they led, she would have immediately gone to them but now she could only wait. She had to get out of here, especially before that Mr. Austin might show up. The man turned back and asked, "Pardon me, Miss. I don't want to intrude, but do you work here? Or are you just visiting. I know most everyone who works here. You do look a little familiar." She turned to him with a smile as she understood he was only trying to help and it was really her fault for trying to rush into the elevator and she replied, "No, I don't work here. I was here for a job, um, interview. I'm now leaving." "Oh, uh, I don't mean to pry but are you, uh, Ash Miller, by chance? Did you send in...a resume about two weeks or so ago?" "Um, yes...I am?" "My goodness, who may I ask were you interviewing with? Mr. Austin perhaps?" "Yes, but I...um, I turned him down." She didn't want to cause problems and give the real reason, not to a stranger anyway. "Oh, yes, I, um...hmmm, nevermind. Look, I'm terribly sorry I wasn't here for the interview. I wasn't expecting to interview you until early next week, probably Monday. I just returned from a business trip and I wanted to come in here and give you a call to schedule a time." "Ar.are you Mr. Relsly?" "Yes," he said and put out his hand, "Pleased to meet you...uh, Ms. Miller." She extended hers and said, "Pleased to meet you, and it's...Ashley." She considered why she said that, but realized that to anyone looking at her, and that she had given that name to several people here that she might as well keep it...for now anyway. "Ashley, that's nice. Mine is Paul, but for business it has to be Mr. Relsly. I hope you understand." Ashley nodded, but was thinking that she couldn't believe what was happening. She considered, 'Here I am talking to Mr. Relsly and he must fully know about me. He had to have seen my picture and read my resume but he's still treating me as I appear. And even out here in the hall, he sounds far more professional than that Mr. Austin ever did.' "I'm sorry to hear that you declined the job. I thought from your resume that it would work out quite well." "Actually, he, Mr. Austin, sort of said, too, that I, um, wasn't a good fit." He looked at her for a few seconds and nodding slightly, said, "Oh, hmm, I think I understand now. By chance, was he offering you a job as his assistant?" "Uh, yes?" "Of course, that explains it. That's not the job I had in mind for you, not at all. I told him to wait for me before he interviewed anyone for that position. I'll have to talk to him about this." The elevator opened at the moment and Ashley glanced at it. Quickly Mr. Relsly said, "Look, I've got an idea. They don't know I'm back here, yet. There's a coffee shop next door. How about I buy you a cup of coffee and we talk about the job position I wanted to interview you for. Would that be all right with you, Ms. Miller? Can you give us another chance? If you're still interested? Which I hope you are." Ashley thought, 'as much as I was so disappointed a few moments ago, I can't believe how lucky I am now, he's offering me another chance, and it seems for the right position. But, it better not be near that Mr. Austin. After what Mr. Austin tried to do with me, I should leave, but I really, really do need a job. Oh, I don't know, I suppose I should at least listen to it, and at least we'll be in another place.' She replied, "Um, yes, I guess I am. So, yes, I'd be...happy to take you up on the cup of coffee." Well, Ashley now reflected, he did seem like a decent person, very professional, not like that Mr. Austin. Maybe she was too hasty in wanting to leave this whole company. Maybe she happened to meet the worst person here. Deirdre seemed happy, so did the receptionist, even Lauren. None of them probably worked for Mr. Austin. And again, she fully understood she needed a job, really needed one. Maybe this other position he was talking about would work out. At least she had to give it a chance considering there was nothing else on the horizon. And a coffee shop would be far more open so nothing awkward could happen and if things didn't go right, she could easily excuse herself and leave. It would be quite simple. He stepped up to the elevator door and moved his arm in front of it to keep it from closing and said, "Thank you, I think the job I'm considering you for, you might like better than the one Mr. Austin was offering. So, let's be off." Ashley now thought, 'Oh, okay, I think I understand. If Mr. Relsly had been here, I would have come in as Ash, no clothing store, well, maybe not, I'm not sure. But, especially no Mr. Austin making those....well, I don't even want to think about it. But maybe I wouldn't be Ashley right now, I'd still be Ash. But, does it matter? I'm going to interview now as Ashley. I guess I'm going have to make sure he knows, although it does look like he already does. I guess I'll have to find out what the job is actually about before I decide too much more. The real question is, should I stay as Ashley, the person five people at Johnston Industries have now met, or should I go back to being Ash. And why am I even considering any of this? Mr. Relsly held the elevator door for her and he entered behind her - without even coming close to touching her, which she realized and was a little relieved about - and they were off to the coffee shop. They only made small talk on the way, mentioning the weather, the summer season quickly approaching, some local current events, nothing at all serious. All this helped Ashley as she tried to compose herself, trying to forget what had happened in Mr. Austin's office. It seemed to be working. Once they were seated and each had a cup, he started, "So, let me explain first what we do here and then the position I'm considering you for." "I'd like that a lot!" she said. "I may be repeating some of what Mr. Austin told you, but if you don't mind, I'd like to fully explain it." "I don't mind at all. He was rather brief in his explanation." "Yes. So, we're a rather new section. It seems that Johnston Industries has gotten into so many different areas rather quickly, dealing with many different suppliers, vendors, that sort of thing. As the growth came fast, so did the number of contracts that were signed, and not as much attention was being paid as needed to for some of the more obscure sections. Our job is to go through all the contracts, as meticulously and thoroughly as possible. We want to make sure we understand exactly what our and our vendors' obligations are. It takes some experience to learn how to read a contract but once you're up to speed, you can begin to look for things that might be misunderstood, or perhaps even detrimental to the company, for example. It turns out that in the recent past, the company has been caught in some disputes because we didn't fully understand parts of the signed contract. "Besides the small group of workers in my section who are going over the contracts, we have two lawyers on our staff. They have their degrees and are applying to the state bar, but until they pass, they're here to review any findings we come across that could be a problem and, after reviewing them, pass them along if warranted to our legal department. When they do pass the bar, they'll move on and we'll replace them. The people on my team are quickly getting up to speed. We're looking for those who have a decent work record and especially attention to detail. Because these are unique documents, we'll be training you on what to look for. One employee got married recently and moved away so that's why we have an opening. You'll be replacing her, but of course you'll be starting out, as there's a lot to learn." "Oh, my. Should I have taken some law courses in school?" "No, no. Not at all. Actually, since we have a fairly thorough training process, it's better that you don't come in with any previous training or knowledge. We'll start you on the less involved documents that have been reviewed and you'll learn what to look for. So, do you think you'd be interested? Or do you have any questions? I do think from your resume and now this meeting that you will fit in rather well." "I...I think I am interested. How long does it take to train someone?" "It can depend on a lot of variables. Several weeks to several months, although I would guess that even our more experienced workers are still learning." "I am a little curious, why do you think I'd be a fit?" "Well, if I remember correctly you do have some college credits, and your work history seems to be good, as you've worked summer jobs for several years and part time during your college year. And I've found over the years that certain people seem to have a better attention to the detail, they seem to pick it up more quickly. I'm hoping it applies to you." Ashley decided it was now time as she said, "Um, I have to tell you something about me. I believe I would really like to accept the job, but there's something you need to know about me." He looked at her with a rather tender look and smile and said, "I think I know what you're going to say, and it does not matter. As a company, we cannot ask about any personal issues that are not public record. We, of course, can do a background check on perspective employees and we do require that you take an employment drug test, but all that is standard in the country today." "I understand, but I still think you should know. I have male...." "I apologize for cutting you off, but any personal information that should not affect how you're able to do the assignments that we ask of our employees is not something that we need to discuss and it is against company policy to ask for certain personal information. I do have a question or two for you, though. How did you find us? Were you referred by a current employee, perhaps?" "No, I simply applied for a job, and you asked for a photo and Mr. Austin called me for an interview." "Oh, hmmm, I see. That's interesting. You know, I think there's somebody who you may want to talk to, let me give her a call and see if she's available." "Oh, um, okay." He pulled out his phone and punched some buttons, and in a moment she heard him as he said, "Hello, Deirdre? This is Mr. Relsly."..."Yes, hello. I just got back from my trip and haven't had time to come up to the office, but I'm in the area. Do you have a few minutes available?"..."Yes, I'm interviewing a prospective employee. We're down in the coffee shop next door."..."Yes, that's right, Ashley Miller."..."Oh, good, you've met her. Can you join us?"..."Great. See in a bit. Bye." He turned back to Ashley and said, "I understand you've met Deirdre. She's our office manager. I think it would be a good idea if you two had a talk. She can explain some things probably better than I can, and when she gets here, I'll leave you two alone, and that way, you two can discuss whatever you both feel necessary in an informal basis. How's that sound?" "Um, okay, I guess." "Good, good. So, I should give you some details about the salary and benefits. We'll start you at twenty-two thousand a year, with a raise at a year, assuming you're working to expectations. We have standard medical, dental, insurance, 401k, health savings plans. We do reimburse for continuing education. The medical plan does have some additional benefits most other companies don't have yet." Ashley thought, 'That's a little less salary than what Mr. Austin offered, but this sounds like a much better job, and it's still more than I was expecting or hoping. If Deirdre is as nice and decent as Mr. Relsly here, I will have to seriously consider accepting his offer. I just don't know why he won't let me explain myself. And I really don't know if I should stay as Ashley, but would he want me as Ash? Maybe being Ashley isn't that bad...but I'm still not sure I can keep making it work. Why can't I just decide?' They talked for a little longer until Deirdre arrived. Almost as soon as she got there, and Mr. Relsly introduced them, he left. Deirdre started if off, "I thought Mr. Austin hired you." "He did, in a way, I guess, yesterday afternoon, but when I came back this morning, well things got a little difficult and I sort of walked out, about the same time he told me I was being let go." She pondered that for a moment, keeping eye contact and replied, "I wondered what happened. I had thought he would bring you around to introduce you to everyone. But, to tell the truth, I'm glad however it happened, that you're not working for him. He can be quite difficult at times. I'm sure you had a good reason, and maybe sometime over drinks we can talk about it, but I'm happy you and Mr. Relsly got together. He's been a very good boss, and we all like him a lot." Ashley gave a brief explanation to Deirdre about how she met Mr. Relsly and that he offered her a job. "So are you going to accept it? From what little I've seen of you, I think you will fit in here." Ashley took a breath and said, "There's something I tried to tell Mr. Relsly about myself but he wouldn't let me, and then suggested that you and I might want to talk about it." She smiled at Ashley and said, "Okay, I'd be happy to talk about whatever you feel important." Ashley took a deep breath, worried that she will be outing herself with unknown consequences but at the same time feeling a little more comfortable with Deirdre, and said, becoming much quieter at the end, "Well, um, you see, I, um, have, uh...male parts." She dropped her eyes in a little embarrassment and hoped that Deirdre would stay as nice as she had been so far. She glanced back to see Deirdre still just smiling. Not appearing at all surprised, which surprised Ashley, Deirdre replied, "Oh! I wondered about that for a moment. It doesn't really matter, if that helps you any. So, do you happen to know anyone here? Did someone here refer you?" Ashley was a little surprised by this line of question, sounding like what Mr. Relsly asked, but replied, "No, I just applied here like I did a lot of places around town. I really need a job. You see, although my application form and resume didn't ask for my gender, I was asked for a photo, which I thought showed I was, um, well...male. So far, everyone has been treating me like how l now look, like I'm a natural female. Most all very decently by the way. But I initially applied everywhere as a...well, um, male, at least ...I thought." "Okay! Well, that's interesting. Right now we have five young women in the section and several of them are transgendered. Can I ask if you're transitioning?" "Um, yes, you can, and, if I understand that word, I'm not...or I wasn't, um, thinking about it." "Oh! You do pass quite well, I should say. I only wondered if you were transitioning because Marilou, the young woman you'd be replacing has completed her surgeries. She found this place a little over a year ago, and has been referring young tg girls since. I was her first referral. I thought maybe you were also referred." She paused for a brief moment, seemingly collecting her thoughts, then asked, "I don't exactly know how to ask this, are you transgendered?" "Well, um...I...I'm not sure," she replied. "Hmm, maybe I didn't use the right word. I don't want to offend you in any way, and I hope I'm not. You're presenting as a female, but you say that underneath you're a male. Are you a cross-dresser?" "I'm sorry, I really don't...I mean, it's just...," she hesitantly replied as it was obvious to Deirdre that she was blushing. Deirdre softly put her hand over Ashley's for a moment and said, "Ashley, that's all right, really. It can be confusing. And I will admit, I was that way once, so maybe I understand a little of what you're going through. So, can I ask you a few questions about it? Only if you're comfortable with me asking? If not, that's all right." Deirdre's demeanor was so open and friendly, so non-judgmental that Ashley felt she could open up, maybe just a little, and she replied, "No, you can ask. I've just never...well, I'm just not sure." As Ashley said that she thought, 'is Deirdre transgendered? She sort of admitted to it, I think. She looks like any young woman I've ever met. I'm not sure of anything now.' "So, okay, let me ask, do you have feelings every so often that you might be female, while you're dressed as a male?" Ashley again became a little embarrassed, but answered quietly but truthfully, "Um, yes." "Let me guess here, you've had them as long as you can remember, like back to childhood?" "Yes." "And there are times you want to try to get them out of your head, make them just go away, but they always come back?" "Um, yes?" Ashley replied, now seriously wondering how Deirdre knew these things about her. "And there have been times when you've wanted to give in to those feelings and desires, maybe see what it's like, and maybe even experimented a little? Possibly like you're doing now?" Ashley was now shaking a little and her breathing was increasing as she acknowledged these questions, and almost whispered, as she also was feeling embarrassed, "Y.yes." "And sometimes afterwards you've felt really, oh, exhilarated, truly alive, and sometimes, ashamed?" Ashley could barely speak as she barely could get an 'Uh huh," out. "But now that you're appearing as a young woman and, it would seem, being accepted, you're somewhat confused, but, and this is the big question, you feel...like maybe it sort of feels....right? Like maybe you've found yourself, but you don't know how to accept it?" Ashley breathing had become quite rapid as all this was just going too fast for her. Here was someone talking to her and saying all the things that she had been experiencing for years. How, how did she know this? "Yes...it.it does. I don't.... But, how.how do you know this? How are you able to tell me about...my secrets?" "Ashley, this is something most all us transgendered girls have gone through, t-girls for short. Yes, even me. And for a lot of years, like you, I'm guessing, I thought I was all alone with these thoughts and feelings and desires. There was nobody I could talk to, not even my family. And then I happened to come across a support group, met others like me, like both of us," she gestured to Ashley, and continued, "And here I am. Can I ask you another question or two, a little more personal?" "I...guess, I'm not sure I can deal with all this. But go ahead." "First, you look very professional, that blouse and skirt yesterday and now what you're wearing today, your makeup and hair. You pass very well. I wasn't sure at all if you were transgendered or a cis-girl when you came in yesterday, but since more of the girls who apply and get hired here have been transgendered and referred, I thought you might be. How did that come about, if you provided a picture of your male side?" "I, well, first, I've since thought about my picture. I've always been younger looking than my age, and as you can see, I'm not particularly tall. My natural hair is fairly thick and it was sort of shaggy as I hadn't had it cut in several months, and I was in, oh, neutral I guess is a good word, colored clothes. Maybe whoever looked at it, wasn't sure. Anyway, I was in, well, very casual male clothes yesterday morning downtown trying to pass along my resume, not expecting any calls, when Mr. Austin called and wanted me to come in immediately for an interview looking professional. I tried to postpone it, but he insisted. You might remember yesterday when we met that I said my attire came from VanHisen downtown?" Deirdre nodded in agreement and Ashley continued, "He then directed me to go there and meet up with a saleswoman named Jen. And she put me in the blouse and skirt, heels, and everything, and had me go to the salon where they did a makeover on me including adding hair extensions." "Hmmm," Deirdre nodded and continued, "That's one way of dressing, I suppose, and it does sort of explain it. I know Mr. Austin was looking for an assistant and I've heard he has some kind of relationship to VanHisen. I'm guessing he knew Mr. Relsly was gone for several days, saw your resume and picture and assumed you were transgendered, because he knew that's who would probably be asked to come in and make sure you were dressed for the job. He has sort of suggested that he would have liked one of us to move over to his office, but we all declined. So, would you consider yourself transgendered?" "I don't really...I mean...well, I wasn't at all sure yesterday when I left VanHisen's that I was doing the right thing, but as the afternoon went on, I just, well, I felt more comfortable with myself. I was still worried, but Brenda at the front desk, and then you, and then Mr. Austin, you all accepted me, and treated me so decently and as I would think a woman would be treated, that, well, it just seemed right, like you said. And certainly yesterday and again this morning, I did like the way Mr. Austin was treating me." "As I said, you do pass quite well, as good or better than most transgendered girls, which is sort of amazing for someone with so little experience. But don't put too much into how Mr. Austin treated you. I'm pretty sure he's what we call a transfan, someone who likes pre- operational transgendered women. I'm not saying it's a bad thing or anything, some tg girls like that attention, but many transfans try to discourage the girls from having that final operation. And they can get a little too personal with the girl. My thoughts are that he just assumed you were, and encouraged you to be that." Ashley thought about what Deirdre said, trying to understand it all and thinking back to what all happened just recently, earlier in the day and the afternoon before, and said, "I probably should tell you a couple of things. He took me out to dinner last night where I might have had a little too much to drink. And then he took me back to my place, but nothing...happened." She got a little embarrassed as she finished, "Except to be honest, I sort of, well, let him kiss me. I, well I thought he thought I was a woman, and I wasn't expecting it, but I didn't try to push him away, I just, well, maybe drew back a tiny bit, and was too embarrassed and went inside afterwards. He then gave me a ride to work this morning, I think to make sure I'd come back. But then he started to get way too...personal and I eventually got upset with him and told him I quit, and then he said I was fired." Deirdre nodded a little more forcefully and said, "I was afraid that might have happened. Are you going to tell Mr. Relsly?" "I don't know what to do. I don't want to cause any problems or start a new job on the wrong foot. I suppose if I'm not near Mr. Austin and he leaves me alone, I won't say anything, but if he starts anything, I may have to." "I understand. Mr. Austin has been doing a lot of really good work for Johnston, and I 'm pretty sure he's expected to be promoted up through the ranks. At this moment in his career, if nothing happened between you two, other than just what others would consider misunderstandings of how you work together, if you do say something, I'll be honest. It may cause you some problems. He may also have not fully submitted your name as an employee as of today, so he could make up any story about you he wanted and it would be his word against yours." "Then I probably shouldn't say anything, because I stopped it as I thought he was becoming far more friendly than one would expect or want." "That was a good idea. Tell you what, if you accept the job, I'll mention a little of it to Mr. Relsly, so if anything does come up, he'll be aware of it. Mr. Relsly right now outranks Mr. Austin, but Mr. Austin does not report to Mr. Relsly. He's here temporarily looking into other issues that are related to what we're doing. We think he'll be promoted and transferred in a month or two when he finishes. But back to you. What are you thinking about how you'll appear when you show up on Monday, if you accept the job?" Ashley thought for a moment, "Thank you so much for supporting me to Mr. Relsly, I really appreciate it. To answer your question, well, so far there are five people here at Johnston, that have met me as Ashley, you, the receptionist, Lauren earlier today, Mr. Austin and now Mr. Relsly. Besides what I wore yesterday, Jen also picked out this outfit, and three more that I now have back at my place. Which reminds me, I'm also not sure how I'll pay for them exactly." Deirdre laughed a little, "I'm glad you met Lauren. I think we're all rather nice woman, but she's really quite friendly. So, if you come in as Ashley on Monday, I'll talk to Mr. Relsly, and maybe he can encourage Mr. Austin to cover a significant amount if not all the cost. You may have to pay some, though." She stopped for a moment, looking directly at Ashley which made Ashley a little nervous, then continued, "I don't want to tell you what you should do, but if I were you, I'd give it a chance. Your story is not that much dissimilar to most the other girls in the office, some variations, but that's to be expected. And they're now quite happy with the choices they've made. Everyone in the office is nice and very supportive of each other. It's a great place to work." "I...well, I suppose I can. It's just that, like you said, I have so little experience, I hardly know anything. And of course, my family has no idea about me." "Do you see them often?" "Well, no, not now. I moved out a few weeks ago and have my own room. I call my mom of course, and I have an older brother I talk to, and a younger sister. She's a single mother living with our parents. I have another older brother but he lives several states away." Deirdre looked at Ashley and appeared in deep thoughts for a moment then replied, "I'm coming to like you a lot. Tell you what, it's Friday and our workday ends at 5 which is not that far away. If you'd like and if you do accept Mr. Relsy's offer, neither of which you have to, we'd be happy to meet you here, me and some of the other girls, and we'll all go out for drinks. You can see what they're all like, and they can meet you, and maybe we can help you get started. If you'd like that, of course." Ashley considered what she just heard and almost came to tears as she said, "I...I'd like that...a lot. Thank you." "Good, so, I've got to get back to work, I'll stop by Mr. Relsly who I see is over there and tell him you're ready to make your decision. Okay?" Ashley could see that he was sitting by himself at the lunch counter, just putting his cell phone away, and maybe trying not to look at what was happening with the two young women. "Yes, please do. And I mean it, thank you so much for being so nice to me." "Ashley? Thank you for being so open with me. You'll do just fine working with us for Mr. Relsly. I'm sure of that now. Bye. I hope to see you again in a little while." "Bye." Ashley was now getting a little excited again, as she realized she had found someone who was like her, and was friendly and helpful, and would introduce her to the other young women. This was turning out even better than she had dared hope. Deirdre left, walking by Mr. Relsly and quickly mentioning something. In a moment, he returned to the Ashley's table and sat down and asked, "Hi again. So, tell me, did Deirdre help you at all?" "Yes, she helped a lot. Thank you so much for asking her here." "Well, you're welcome. I thought you and she might hit it off. I'm now asking. Have you made a decision? Would you like to come to work for me and Johnston?" "Yes, absolutely. I would love to come and work for you and Johnston Industries. I accept your offer. Thank you so much for it." "You're welcome. I'm really glad you have. I think you'll make a fine addition to our group. Oh, yes, I'll make sure Mr. Austin does not interfere with your hiring. I don't know all the details of the position he offered you, but I will make one thing clear. Nobody should ever ask you to do personal errands for them, and if anyone does, tell them to see me." "Oh, okay, thank you." My goodness, she thought, did he find out about that? I'm so glad he made that clear. He nodded and then continued, "Tell you what, can you come with me to the office and we'll fill out some paperwork? A formal application form, the job offer sheet, and some other papers? When you come back in on Monday, 8:30, I'll have you go by the H.R. person who will have other forms like your W2 and Medical and Dental to complete, they'll give you a badge to get in each day. They'll also schedule you for a drug test and start a background check. I believe Mr. Austin had not scheduled you for any of that. So, is that all right?" All that he was saying made Ashley feel really good, as it was all what she would have fully expected to happen upon being hired. She realized she should have known something was wrong when Mr. Austin never even hinted that she should go through Human Resources. She replied, "Oh, my, yes. That would be fine. Thank you. I should mention that Deirdre asked me to join her and some of the other girls after work for drinks." He smiled at that, "I think that would be very good. You can all get to know one another. That's why I really like Deirdre. She's my best employee, well, since Marilou left. So, if you're ready, let's go on up." Upon arriving in Mr. Relsly's office, he and Ashley continued covering some of the job requirements and working conditions as well as having her read and sign some documents and giving copies to her. As she was looking them over, Mr. Relsly said, "I assume Deirdre covered most of your concerns. We try to be a fully equal opportunity employer and promote diversity in the workforce. I will say that with the hiring of Marilou - did Deirdre also mention her?" "Yes, she did." "Good. So with her hiring, Marilou became my very best employee. She then started referring other young women she knew and now all of them, like Deirdre, are performing at a very high level. I really appreciate that and it's made my job easier. The point I'm trying to make is that when you visit the human resources person, you are welcome to put down whatever you feel comfortable with. The responses are kept very private and only the values are reported. Like I said, whatever you feel comfortable with, it won't make any difference in your hiring, raises, job assignments. The only requirement is that on the forms you fill out, you have to use your legal name, your current social security number, and an ID, like a driver's license. I believe there's a place for preferred name, or nickname, where you can put what you want to be called. Nicole, our HR person can explain it better. " She took the documents, looked them over and was careful to use her legal name and social security number but checked the box 'other' for her gender. She gave permission for a background check as well as signing the formal offer sheet. When finished, she said, "I appreciate you letting me know all this, but especially offering me a position here. I promise I'll do whatever it takes to show you that giving me the chance was the right decision." "I'm sure you will, Ashley. You come across as a very bright and determined employee. But I see it's approaching 5 and I do have some things I have to do, and you have a get together coming up that I think you'll really enjoy. I'm glad we met, and I'll expect to see you Monday morning, 8:30. It's been a pleasure getting to know you a little more. See you on Monday." "Thank you again, Mr. Relsly, I can't wait to start work. Good-bye." "Good-bye," he said as they stood and they shook hands. This day had been the most emotional day Ashley had ever had, and one she never wanted repeated, since she was both fired and hired, she had had a boss who she now decided was probably groping her and maybe wanting more, and she was on her way to meet other young women who she understood from what Deirdre said were transgendered like she was. And yes, she now accepted that she probably was, something she had fretted over, and tried for years to ignore or even banish from her thoughts, all unsuccessfully. Accepting that actually made her feel better about herself. As she walked through the hallway, took the elevator down and walked out through the entrance foyer, Ashley didn't care at all anymore if she ran into Mr. Austin. Being with him was an experience she would hardly forget, but perhaps it was a fortunate one, in that she met Mr. Relsly, and she now understood a little more about herself, who she was, and how she should be. Chapter 5: Finding Herself She didn't have to wait long to meet up with Deirdre who brought Cassandra, Lauren and Josie with her, who were all t-girls like Deirdre. Deirdre introduced Ashley to the other girls and they were all quite welcoming and supportive of Ashley. Trying not to be obvious, she had to look quite long at each one before she thought she might have seen any kind of hint they may not be natal girls. Since they were so accepting of her, she soon stopped concerning herself with that and accepted them. Cassandra asked, "I understand you worked for Mr. Austin for a day. How was he? We've heard all sorts of stories." Deirdre replied first, "Ashley is still new here and we shouldn't put her in any awkward situations." Ashley said, "That's all right, Deirdre. I can answer this. In many ways he was nice, and if it weren't for some of his other less attractive traits, he might be a good boss to work for. But, at least for me, he insisted on being a little bit too close for comfort for most the day. I didn't appreciate that and I decided I didn't want to work for him. I walked out, met Mr. Relsly, and immediately he appeared more professional than Mr. Austin. And here I am." "Well said, Ashley. So since Ashley will be starting to work with us on Monday, why don't each of us tell her what we do and what a work day is like so she has a good idea of what to expect." They all did, both as they drove to a local bar in Deirdre's car, and after they went in and found a table. They all then continued chatting about the day, themselves, work, relaxation, and a little on their progress towards completing surgery. As they were walking up to the bar, Deirdre told Ashley, "This is the most accommodating bar in town, they encourage all different types of people to come, but they demand that things be kept orderly. Because of all that it gets crowded in a hurry, as many of the customers are lesbian, gay, bi, trans, gender fluid, and there are a lot of straight people here because they like the diversity. If anyone comes up to you, and it could be male, female, anyone, and you're not interested, just be polite. Of if you are, you're welcome to join them." "Wow, I've heard of this bar, but I had no idea. Thank you for telling me, but it will be a long time before I'd feel comfortable accepting any kind of invitation." "I understand, I just wanted you to know." They entered the bar and quickly found a table towards the back that was still empty. After sitting down and ordering, Deirdre said to Ashley, "See that guy up there by the bar?" "Yes, he's huge." "He's the bouncer. Anyone causing the least problem, he's on them so fast. And I think there's another backup somewhere in case things get out of hand, but I've never seen it get beyond him stopping any problems." "I certainly wouldn't want to tangle with him." "Most wouldn't, but I've met him, Ron, we shared drinks once, and he is the sweetest guy you'll ever meet. But don't ever cross him." "I certainly won't." The young women shared their stories with Ashley, and she was just amazed at how different their stories all were, from wealthy upscale families to lower class, from accepting family members to being kicked out and told never to return. At the moment, Josie expected that after her final surgeries she would go stealth, move to another town, and with all her records legally changed, begin life as a female with no mention of her male past. Her parents were split and her father had been abusive. Cassandra admitted to being a lesbian and had no interest in male companionship. Lauren was undecided but thought she would probably be interested in men. Deirdre was fully open to any kind of a relationship, at least where she currently was in her life. Ashley thought about all that they shared, and finally said, "When I have thought of ever being female, which I had always just assumed would never happen, I'd be with some fully accepting guy. And now that I'm thinking about it again and with all your stories, I'm fairly certain that I still feel that way." She had thought about what she felt when Mr. Austin was being close. In a way, she liked it, like she enjoyed going to dinner and then lunch with him, him being as courteous as he was, even the kiss. She just wished he hadn't been so overbearing and staying so close as often as he did. She accepted that deep down she knew that it wasn't the proper way to be in an office environment and it surely wasn't what she wanted in developing a relationship with a young man. Later in the evening, Lauren came over to Ashley and sat down next to her. "Um, Ashley?" Lauren said, "I know this is kinda early to ask, but I was wondering, you said you didn't like the place you're renting? Well, anyway, Marilou used to share my two bedroom apartment, and since she left, I was, well, looking for someone to share and help pay the rent, and I was wondering if maybe you'd,um,be interested? I mean whenever you want? You don't have to decide right now, I just thought I'd let you know, and if you are, that'd be great." Without having to think too much, Ashley replied, "Oh, yes, I'd be interested." She surely didn't like where she was now renting, and it was month to month, so she could easily get out of it. She'd lose the security deposit, but if there were a better place..., she then asked, "Can you tell me a little more about it?" "Certainly, it's up in the Greenbrier neighborhood, it's a two bedroom, first floor, so you'd have your own bedroom, it's about a block from the bus line, and your half of the rent would be $400, plus your share of utilities, of course. It's got an up to date kitchen, and a counter or bar." "That sounds really great!" Ashley replied, "Can I come and see it sometime next week?" "Why, yes, just tell me when." "I don't want you to get too anxious; right now I'm in a month to month rental, so I'll have to wait until the month runs out, if you can wait." "Yes, I can, and thank you so much. I know you can't commit until you've seen it, but I'm sure you'll really like it. I was worried about finding somebody who I could get along with, and well, you know, understand me...and after meeting you, I'm sure it'll really be nice." "Um, maybe you should get to know me a little more. I can be difficult at times," Ashley giggled a little. "So can I," Lauren replied, "so it should really work out well." A few young men came over and started up conversations, but Josie was the only one who actually went off with one of them, but soon she was back saying, "I could tell it wasn't going to work out." A little while later, Josie and Cassandra excused themselves to head back to the apartment they shared, which got Ashley thinking about how she was going to get back to her place. Deirdre solved that by saying, "Ashley, would you like a ride to your place?" "I don't want to put you out any. I think there's a late bus or I can call a Uber." "The buses are okay, Uber, I guess, but no reason to chance any issues. Lauren and I live near each other so I'll be taking her back, and, besides, I don't mind doing it." "Thank you, I'd like that." "You ready to go?" They left the bar, and Deirdre dropped Ashley off at her place, and asked once more, "Will you be coming to work as Ashley on Monday? I'm sure Mr. Relsly will accept whoever shows up. And not to make your decision any more difficult, but I really do like Ashley. I haven't met Ash who I'm sure is nice and all, but I really like you." Ashley sighed for a moment, "I think so, although I'll have to think about it some. Everyone I met tonight was super nice. Thank you for the ride and inviting me, and all. With you all being so nice, I can't wait to get to work. Goodnight, Deirdre, Lauren." "Goodnight, Ashley, see you Monday!" Ashley now had the weekend to think about it. She went straight to bed, as Ashley, and got up Saturday morning, and after only a moment's hesitation, considered she would stay Ashley for the weekend. As Saturday turned to Sunday, having already accepted that she was transgendered, she then convinced herself that she would definitely show up Monday morning as Ashley, and, well, probably for the entire week, and if it all worked out, for some time more, but she would have to see. Having made that decision, she then tried on the different outfits that she had brought back from VanHisen's and they all fit fairly well. At least now she had several changes of clothes. However, she realized if she were to stay Ashley, she'd need a lot bigger wardrobe, casual clothes, cosmetics, definitely several more outfits for work besides maybe even things she hadn't yet thought about. And she would have to figure out some way to avoid meeting up with her family until she was sure what her future would be - texting and phone calls with changing her voice would have to suffice, for now, anyway. By Sunday, she again had worked up the courage to go out and be seen. She walked down to the market in the strip mall two blocks away, as it was a nice day, to pick up a few things. She had already decided that for a bigger shopping trip, especially for more clothes, she would ask Deirdre or one of the other girls if they could accompany her, and give suggestions. There were a few things she could purchase now that she might need sooner. Since she had no real feminine casual clothes, and wasn't sure that Ash's jeans and tees would look appropriate, she put on the skirt and blouse from Thursday, and convinced herself that since it was Sunday morning, and a nice warm sunny day, that she could imagine she was going to or coming from church - of which there were several in the neighborhood - that is, if anyone stopped her for any reason. Of course, she did sort of, well, maybe, I mean if she really thought about it, she did like wearing this outfit...a lot. At the strip mall, she went into the drug store, guessing that it would have more of what she was looking for. She slowly went through the aisles, looking at all the various feminine products and wished one of the other girls was with her. She selected a few cosmetics, toiletries, and other items and went to the front where there was a young man clerking behind the counter. Glancing at him as she walked up - there was only one other customer in the store back by the pharmacy - she thought he looked a little handsome, and then wondered where that thought came from. She was glad there wasn't a crowd, and hoped to make it through the checkout fairly quickly "Hi!" he said cheerfully. "Is this all?" "Hi. Yes." "Do you have our courtesy card? You can save some money if you do." "Oh, um, I don't think so." "Would you like to apply for one? If you do, you can use it immediately." She took a breath, noticing that no one was behind her, and deciding saving money was a good idea, said, "Okay." He pulled out a small form with a card attached and along with a pen, gave it to her, after punching in some numbers in the register. As she was filling it out, he said, "Do you live around here?" "Um, a few blocks away by Walnut Arms." He would see the address anyway, so she didn't worry about it. "Oh, okay, I haven't seen you around and I'd certainly notice someone as attractive as you." She blushed a little and replied, "Um, I just moved in not long ago, this is the first time I've been in here." "Oh, okay, so, welcome to the neighborhood. My name is Erik, with a 'k'." "Oh, um, mine is Ashley. Thank you." "Ashley, that's a pretty name. I've lived here all my life. If you'd like, sometime maybe I could show you around, point out the stores and places that are okay, and those you might want to avoid." "Um, that would be, uh, nice. I'm sort of busy now, getting moved in and all, but maybe, next time I come in?" "Sure, that'd be great. Let's see, you save fived dollars off the regular prices and as a first time user customer, another twenty-five percent off, so your total comes to $32.76." Ashley smiled with a little relief as she had thought it would be a lot higher. She also realized this was the first time she was filling out a form, not work related, as Ashley. "Here you go," she said as she gave him cash from the wallet in her shoulder bag and got her change back. "Have a great day!" he said, "Hope to see you again." "Thank you, have a nice day, too," she said, giving him a nice smile. As she walked out, she realized that he had been flirting with her a little. A strange guy looked at her and saw Ashley, a young woman. And he had sort of asked her for a date, not that she would go out with him, well, not right away, anyway, but just the interaction made her feel very happy about herself. It was another positive indication that being Ashley may actually work. Monday morning, she was up early, showered, and again tried to use the various cosmetics to make herself presentable, besides wearing the third outfit, a nice dark blue and white, dress with a slight hourglass slimming design. She had to be on the bus that came by at 7:45 as she had to change buses in the center of the city for the one out to the office. She got on, paid her fare and got a transfer, found a seat that was empty, but by the next stop, an older woman boarded and sat next to her. They just exchanged smiles. Upon transferring to the next bus, she was surprised to see Lauren. "Hey there, Ashley, over here! You look great this morning. Ready for your first full day?" "Hi, Lauren! It's so nice to see you. Yes, I am." "Good. I ride this sometimes, although often, Deirdre gives me a ride, but she suggested I try to meet up with you, today, just to make your first day less stressful." "Thanks, that's so nice of her and you." They got off at the stop and walked the half block to their office, entered, said 'hello' to Brenda and went up to the office. Deirdre was there and welcomed Ashley, showed Ashley her workstation - in one of those low walled cubicles - and introduced her to the other girls that she had not yet met, Lynell and Rianne who were cis-girls. Both welcomed Ashley and told her she could ask either for help anytime she wanted. Everyone was very nice to her and made her feel welcome and accepted. Being her first day, she had an appointment with the human resources person, Nicole, where she filled out some more forms, received an identification badge, and was given several documents relating to the company's policies, as well as other items. She was told a background check would be performed and she was scheduled to take a drug test the next day. There were no other issues, and she returned to the office. Over the next several weeks, the two cis-girls in the office as well as Brenda became as friendly to Ashley as they were with the t-girls since they easily accepted the t-girls as women, and they all got along quite well. All of the young women would occasionally do things together, with Lynell joining in a little more often than Brenda or Rianne. As she got to know her co-workers better, she learned that Josie and Deirdre were closing in on their year of living as women and approaching their final surgery, like Marilou had done. Cassandra was about four months away. Lauren was mid-way. None as yet had decided if they would leave following their surgery although Josie was talking about it. As she had learned from Deirdre on Friday, the other t-girls knew each other from support groups and they had encouraged each other to apply at Johnston. They all were a little surprised that Ashley's applying was purely coincidental but were quite happy she did. Ashley fit right in and with Josie as her trainer, she quickly learned her job and began reviewing the various documents, finding the various parts that need further investigations. Mr. Relsly commented several times that he was impressed with her work, as well as her desire. As Ashley hoped, in talking to her co-workers, she found they were delighted to help her shopping as well as offering her suggestions which included make-up, clothing styles, various products she might consider using, shaving her legs, trying different hair styles, upgrading her breast forms besides covering a more important function, removing facial hair. That led to several of the t-girls casually mentioning their transitioning to Ashley, who after listening and thinking about it replied, "That is something I'm going to really want to talk over with you all, but right now, I want to focus on my job here, and just living as Ashley, getting to know myself a little better." They all accepted her decision as although each had a different story to tell, so did each girl come to the decision to transition in her own time and way. The next Saturday, just after noon, Ashley needed some items from the drug store again and walked down there, just enjoying the early afternoon as it had been sunny and warm. She had changed into white calf length pedal pushers and a colored tee. She was beginning to feel a lot more comfortable in the various changes of clothes, both casual and work related. Upon entering she saw the same clerk she had talked to on her previous visit, and started wondering what might happen when she checked out. She got the items and went to the counter and pulled out her card. "Is this everything?" he said, then smiled, and continued, "Ashley, right?" "Yes, that's right and you're Erik with a k." "You remembered, thank you. Ah, good, there's your card. I'll scan it in. So, have you had a chance to see our neighborhood?" "Yes, it's okay. There are some nice stores." "Um, have you been to the coffee shop down the street? They have some great brews." "No, actually, not yet. But, I may try it." "I get off in a little while. I'll be happy to buy you a cup. If you'd like?" Ashley looked at him for a moment, accepting that he again was asking her on a date of sorts, but the kind of date that would allow each to go his or her separate way if it wasn't working out for either. And he certainly wasn't pushy or persistent or, heaven forbid, obnoxious. On an unexplained impulse, she replied, "Yes, I'd like that, thank you. Later this afternoon?" He paused, possibly with a slightly startled look, took a breath and replied, "Well, um, I can be there in an hour?" "An hour? Yes, that sounds good. I'll meet you there." "Oh! Okay, great! That's great. Here's, um, your change." "Thank you, see you then, bye!" "Bye." She took a deep breath as she walked out of the store as she had just accepted an invitation from a guy to get together. Her first one from someone she had only casually met. She wondered for a moment why she did that, besides accepting that he had been very nice about it. She certainly wasn't seeing anyone. This was a first, she knew, but she already had some limited experience with Mr. Austin - much of which she never wanted repeated, ever. But some of it was okay. And she was feeling very comfortable as Ashley. It certainly wouldn't be going anywhere as she would be moving in the next two weeks to Lauren's which was across town from here. That is, of course, if for some reason, her interest in him might drastically increase, and he would show a similar interest in her. If all that happened, she had no idea what she would do then. Thinking about it a little more, she thought back to when Ash as well as his male friends talked about asking girls out. They were mostly resigned to the fact that more than likely if they did, the girl would not only say 'no', but maybe even embarrass them for asking. Maybe those were related to why she accepted his invitation. He was nice about it, she had nothing going on, and there was no reason to even think of rejecting it outright. She now guessed that it was also possible that back then Ash and his friends were just way too shy and insecure. She thought Erik did seem a little surprised by her accepting his invitation. Maybe he had been turned down in the past and was expecting it again. She took her purchases back to her room, checked her make-up touching up her lips, brushed her hair a little and walked back to the coffee shop. She was a minute or two early but saw Erik walking up from the other direction and he saw her and waved. They greeted each other and he held the door for her and once inside held her chair as he asked her what she would like. He went to the counter and ordered for both of them and then brought back their cups. "It's a little expensive, but the taste is great not like that burnt stuff at Starbuck's, and it doesn't cost quite as much." "Here," she said reaching into her bag, "I can pay for my own." "No, please, my treat. I asked you here so it's on me." "Thank you. That's nice of you." They talked about themselves, where Ashley worked, what the neighborhood was like, what they hoped for their future. She then said, "Thank you so much for the invitation, but I have to be honest. After I started where I now work, one of the other girls there needed a roommate, so I agreed. She lives up in the Greenbrier area, so I'll be moving up there in the next week sometime. I hope you can understand, especially if you know the area around Walnut Arms." "Yeah, they aren't the best, but you said you were just starting out, and that area is inexpensive. I am glad you're leaving there. You haven't had any problems living there, have you? I've heard some stories." "No, where I am, I have my own entrance, and I come and go quickly, and I have nothing of real value." "That's good. I should also tell you, I suppose. I wasn't expecting to see you again, and when you came into the store, I remembered you suggesting on taking me up, the next time you came in. I thought I'd ask again, but I really didn't think you'd agree. I met someone a few days ago, we haven't gone out or anything yet but we're going to meet up later tonight. I'm really enjoying getting to know you, sitting here with you. It's just that I'm not the kind of guy who can date different girls at the same time. I hope you're okay with that." "Oh, yes, I'm okay. Thank you for telling me. It's so nice to meet someone who seems to respect who he dates. Meeting you last week, I thought you were a nice guy, and I now absolutely know so. I just wanted to be open with you, too. But, we can stay friends, if you'd like. If you're ever up in the Greenbrier area, I'll be happy to return the favor and buy you a cup. I'm going to take a chance. Here's my number. Just don't let your new girlfriend see it." She quickly wrote down her number on a napkin and handed to him as he took it with a laugh. Smiling at that, he then replied, "Thanks, I've had casual girlfriends, off and on, and I really liked it. Just enjoying being friends with others, you know?" "Yes, I completely agree." They continued chatting and eventually left, with Ashley impetuously giving his cheek a little kiss just before they turned to leave one another. It just seemed like a nice thing to do, without overthinking it at all. "That's a thank you for buying me the cup of coffee, and for being a nice guy. Don't ever change." "Whew! I wish I had met you a while ago." "Don't think that, please. Give your new girlfriend all the attention and affection she deserves, for me, okay?" "Okay, bye." "Bye." That was so much better an experience than even a moment with Mr. Austin, Ashley thought as she walked back to her place. If she were to remain Ashley, which with each passing day seemed more and more likely to her, these were the kind of experiences she would treasure as she learned more about herself and how to be the woman she seemed to be turning into. It was the last week of July when Ashley left her old apartment and with Lauren's and Deirdre's help, moved in with Lauren. She was quite happy with the new living space as she now had a bedroom, sharing a full bath, and full use of a modern kitchen, besides attractive furnishings and several amenities in the complex such as a small swimming pool and a community room. She had now received three semimonthly paychecks from Johnston Industries with a forth due soon and was feeling very relieved as it looked like her money worries were at least temporarily reduced, and hopefully now for a very long time. Meanwhile, since she had been hired and coming to work as Ashley and having fit in so well with the other girls, besides now sharing an nice apartment with Lauren, as well as having the money to do so, she seriously started expanding her wardrobe. It was tentative as first, like in June, as this was all so new to her. Initially her first purchases were just to give her enough changes of clothes for work, but they slowly expanded to include casual clothes, shoes, undergarments, and supplies. It helped her immensely that she was able to go shopping with Lauren, or Deirdre or one or more of the other girls in the office. They all were so nice to help her choose clothing, accessories, and personal items that she could actually use. During her second month and third month, July going into August, she began facing up to the fact that she was living full time now as a woman, as well as seeing no real reason to change that. She decided in late July, it was now time to start getting a lot more serious about the possibility of transitioning. She started talking about it with Lauren and Deirdre and then with the other girls. "So, you're seriously thinking about looking into transitioning," Deirdre said. "We all here will be more than happy to help you in any way we can." "Yes, thank you. Each day when I wake up, I'm thinking of myself totally as Ashley, and nobody else. The person that was my past life, has been receding into what are now becoming distant memories, mostly good, but no longer of me. I'm not who I was anymore, but I'm not sure I'm actually who I should be yet." "That's an interesting way of putting it." "Well, I think I should probably should start seeing a therapist. I know nothing is guaranteed, but it's something I should at least explore." "You're absolutely right. You know, I really like my therapist. I can recommend you to her if you'd like." "Oh, yes, definitely. I'd like that a lot. Thanks." "Have you read our company's insurance plan coverages for reassignment surgery?" "Yes, I have looked at them. Do they seem reasonable?" "Yes, so far as we all have done. That's part of the reason most of us are here. The company seems to be a leader in offering insurance. You just have to make sure you follow every one of their rules and expectations, and you should have no problem." "If I'm going to do it, I certainly will do whatever's required. When I read up on gender reassignment surgery a few years ago, I saw that it can be very expensive." "It still is, but at least some of the costs are now covered, not all by any measure, but any is good. I'll make that call and let you know." "Thanks." Upon Deirdre making the call, Ashley then called and set up an appointment for mid-August and then, having been accepted, began regularly seeing the therapist recommended by Deirdre, then a specialist and upon being approved by both, began on HRT. That was followed by laser and electrolysis hair removal, serious consideration of breast augmentation and finally, after a year, SRS (or Gender Reassignment Surgery). She understood and was easily able to relate to her therapist that she felt now so much better about herself as Ashley than she ever did as Ash. After opening up with her childhood memories, her repressed dreams and thoughts, her attempts at cross-dressing, and her now heartfelt desire to live as a woman, she was approved for the transition followed by the surgery by both her therapist and physician. As she became friendly with the other girls in the section, she also realized she now had more friends than Ash ever did. And she was closer to them more than Ash had ever been to even a single other male friend. They greatly enjoyed doing things together, besides shopping, such as taking weekend trips, going to movies and even the theater. She never did run into Mr. Austin outside of work and he transferred to another department, with a promotion, in August. There was a rumor a month or so later that some young woman in another department had accused him of improper behavior, but nothing more was forthcoming. Ashley also enjoyed sharing the apartment with Lauren, getting to know one another, talking about being transgendered, and going out shopping, having dinner out, and going places with her as well as with the other women from work. As Lauren was approaching her surgery, she had begun dating guys. She didn't want any long term romances, as she would see a guy several times before either she or the guy called it off, and she would move on with little concern. During Ashley's second month of sharing the apartment, Lauren came to ask Ashley to join her and her current boyfriend on a double date. "Ashley, you are attractive, and you've become even better than you were being the woman you are on the inside. Are you interested at all in dating guys? I remember you mentioning the possibility when we first met. Gary, who you've met, has a friend and he wondered if you'd like to come with us on a double date." "I don't know that I'd be that good a date. I really haven't had that much experience." "You did tell me about going out to dinner with Mr. Austin, and then having coffee with that guy you met at the drugstore. Both of those from what you said, went quite well. Those were great starts. This would be the next step. Come on, I think it'd be fun." Ashley thought about it for a moment. Going to dinner with Mr. Austin was sort of a date, she guessed, but at the time, she considered it more of him being nice to her, getting to know each other better. Which, of course, turned bad very quickly. With Erik, it was just a chance meeting that didn't develop into anything other than a cup of coffee with a now friend. This would be a real date with planning, choosing an outfit, worrying, keeping a conversation going. Possibly leading to something more. Was she ready for it? "Okay, yes, I guess I'd like to. So, what's his name?" "Jimmy. And he's really a nice guy." "Uh, huh, I know what that means." "No, really. You'll see." He was, although he wasn't particularly handsome, just friendly and a little shy. The foursome went to a movie, then out for a bite to eat. Ashley had a nice time, but didn't feel anything about Jimmy by the end of evening, although she worked at being friendly and open which seemed to give him more confidence in himself. At the end of the date, they said their good-byes, and parted while Gary and Lauren got a little more intimate. Over the next several months, this led to several more double dates as well as going out in groups with some of the girls from the office and their dates. Now that Ashley had made herself available, Deirdre also asked her to join her in double dates which Ashley did. Very little came of the dates, although she did feel something for one of the guys she dated, and actually gave him her number, but he never called, and it only disappointed her for a moment. She continued feeling better about herself, and fully believing that she was doing absolutely the right thing - moving along with transitioning and having the final surgery. After several months of working at Johnston Industries, Ashley began seriously thinking about her future at her current job, and even in the general work place beyond Johnston Industries. She liked her job as did the other young women working for Mr. Relsly, but they started getting a little concerned about how long their current positions could last. They began to understand that eventually they would finish reviewing all the contracts and new ones or updates would be fewer and less frequent. They began to wonder if there would be enough work for Johnston Industries to continue employing the six women, Mr. Relsly, and the two law students, although Josie was planning on leaving soon, and Mr. Relsly indicated he was not planning on hiring a replacement. Mr. Relsly called them all together for a team meeting in early October where he explained, "I understand there have been some concerns about the future of this office. I haven't been able to say anything until now as I've been meeting with senior management to discuss this very issue. I'm happy to say that they approved my proposal to turn our group into an electronic document library, where not only electronic copies of contracts would be kept, but copies of other corporate documents such as job descriptions, ISO documentation, corporate policy documents, etc. would also be kept. We'll also be on future lists to review any new documents that may come up, as well as determine which departments or sections will be responsible for which documents, and when they should be reviewed, changed, updated, or discontinued. I want to also say that most every executive I've talked to, has been very happy with everything this office has accomplished. We'll have to learn some additional methods and actions, but I'm sure you all can handle it." The young women were all quite happy with what they heard. He didn't tell them that he was able to infer that most of the executives were also quite happy that the office helped the company meet diversity goals, and they hoped to maintain it in some fashion. Chapter 6: Coming Out In late September, after several visits to the therapist (and having been on just a few double dates with Lauren and her boyfriend) where she and the therapist discussed coming out to her family, Ashley finally decided it was time to start the process. She wasn't quite sure that it would work out, nor even how to start. After talking to Lauren, Deirdre and the other girls, she decided on a course of action. She would start slowly and maybe work on those she felt she might have a better chance of at least having them not immediately disapprove of her, or maybe even refuse to see her ever again. She would try Bailey first, and then Logan, as she had always been closest to those two, as well as them being younger, they might be a little more understanding. If that worked she'd then work on Harper and their mother. She had no idea how to even come close to approaching her stepfather. She called Bailey first, switching back to her 'Ash' voice, "Hi, Bailey? This is...Ash." "Ash! How are you doing? Haven't really heard much from you in some time other than a few text messages. And Mom mentioned that you don't call as often. Everything okay?" "Yes, I'm doing really good, so far, anyway. You know I have a job with Johnston Industries and I really like it, and they're very happy with my work, and it is demanding." "That great, Ash. Mom has been worried about you, maybe Dad too, but of course he doesn't show it as much. Um, is there something wrong with your voice?" "Maybe a cold or something," Ashley said quickly and immediately changed the subject, "So, anyway, I understand about Mom and Dad. Why I called is that I was wondering if sometime next week we could meet for lunch, downtown or wherever you would think convenient?" "There's no problem is there, I mean you said everything's okay?" "Yes it is, I just want to talk to you about something, fairly important, as well as catch up with the family but it'd work out better if we were together." "Yeah, okay, that would be good, how about, um, Tuesday? You work closer to the nicer restaurants than I am, any place that has decent food, I'm fine with." "Okay, um, how about Village Food and Spirits? Say noonish?" "Yes, I know where that is. That'd work. I've heard they have decent lunches. So Tuesday at noon." "Great, I may be a minute or two late, I can never tell when a project gets hot around here, but it should be okay for me. If it doesn't I'll call you as soon as I know. And thanks, I got to get back to work now, see ya then." "Okay, good to hear from you. Bye! Oh, and take care of that cold." "I will, bye" Ashley took a breath as she put away her phone. She was now more or less committed to meeting with Bailey, and hoping that it would at least go a little okay. If it didn't, she wasn't sure what she would do next about her family. They'd have to know some time, but considering the stories she had heard from the t-girls at work, the chances of being immediately accepted were only so-so at best. It was also becoming obvious that she was more into her Ashley voice than ever, and going back to Ash, in any way, could in the future, be a little more difficult than she had imagined. She spent the next several days fretting over how she would broach the subject, what she would say, even how she would appear. She again talked to both Deirdre and Lauren and they gave her suggestions, and how they handled less than supportive responses from their extended families. Tuesday finally came, and Ashley intentionally got dressed in her first outfit which she really liked, the pink buttoned blouse and white skirt and, after checking herself in the restroom mirror, left work to go downtown a few minutes early, but stayed across the street out of the way, watching for Bailey to arrive. After she was fairly certain Bailey was seated, she came over to the restaurant, told the hostess who she was meeting, took a breath, marshalled all the courage she could and walked over to the booth (she was happy it was at least a little private), and stopped. "Hi, you're Bailey, I believe? May I join you, if it's all right?" she asked with a pleasant smile and wanting Bailey to be relaxed and comfortable with her. Bailey was a little startled but quickly replied, "Yes, I am. Do I know you?" "Sort of, in a way." "Oh, do you know my brother, Ash?" Ashley giggled a little and said, "Yes, but sometimes not as much as I should." "Oh! Well, I guess you can sit down, he hasn't come in yet. Are you two dating?" "No, we're not dating, but he has come in." She glanced around the room with sort of a confused look, but Ashley quickly said, "Bailey, I'm Ash." Bailey looked at the young woman sitting across from her for a moment appearing almost stunned. "Y.you're Ash? My.my brother?" "Yes, but it's now Ashley. I know it's sort of a surprise, but yes I am. I had been your brother for over 16 years now." "I...sort of a surprise!...It's a lot more than that if you...really....?" "Yes, I really am. Remember Rabby, you're little soft rabbit you'd hold to your nose when you used to suck your thumb?" "Uh huh," she replied with sort of a questioning look, besides searching the face of this young woman sitting across from her for some familiar feature. Ashley continued, "And it accidently got left at that rest stop in Kentucky on our way back from Florida, and Dad turned the car around at that first crossover but in the 5 minutes we were gone someone else took it." "Yes, I remember I cried." "But you got over it like you did your thumb, will no teeth out of alignment, no hassles. You just did. And then a few years later Mom put you in that little girl ballet class, and made me come with her when she took you to your classes in that strip mall, and she had me record your lessons so you could practice the next Saturday before class and you were the best little ballerina every Saturday. And later...your first date with Jamie Wurster who you could not stand in 6th grade." "Okay, okay, you can stop now. You're Ash, I believe you, but I don't, I mean, why?...When? How!?" The waitress came up to take their order and Ashley said, "Let's order, then I fill you in." After the waitress left, she then told Bailey a lot of the story, about her desires and dreams as a child, an adolescent, and a teen. She glossed over how she came to be dressed that first day, only suggesting that she sort of discovered the position usually went to a young woman and she got to know some of the women there. And she told Bailey that she was seeing a therapist, and had appointments with a specialist and was on hormone replacement therapy. And in the meantime, she was scheduling laser hair removal, and possibly even breast augmentation. Bailey said, "That's all just, I don't know, amazing, maybe hard to.... And you're going to have the surgery?" "Yes, sometime after my year is up, in about nine or so months." "And then you'll be mostly a female?" "Yes, mostly. I won't be able to have babies, of course, I'll always be missing those parts. I suppose I'm a little sad about that, but most everything else will be there. But it's what I realize now I want...and need, and have thought about since I was aware of it. And I'll be going through changing all my records to reflect my new gender" "Oh, my. So, those, um, breasts aren't real...yet?" Ashley noticed Bailey looking at her chest, looked down at them for a moment and replied, "No, just very lifelike forms, like lots of t-girls have, although with the estrogen I've been taking, there is more of me there than there ever was. I'm starting to consider getting smaller forms to keep these a decent size. I may also go to padded bras, depending." Bailey looked at Ashley with a small smile, and finally said, "You do really look like lots of girls I know and have met, seen, your skin, your hair, your make-up. Is that a wig?" She ran her hand through her hair, shaking her head slightly and replied, "No, it mostly mine, but I have extensions, and of course when things grow out and I keep getting it cut and styled, it'll be all mine. I never had much of a beard or body hair, not like our brothers, and the pills I'm taking daily have done wonders giving me a little more breasts like I said as well as smoothing my skin, reducing the body hair I do have. I have been taking electrolysis to remove the unwanted hair. The make-up I just had to learn, like you and every other girl." Bailey nodded, then replied, "I suppose if I had thought about it, I might have noticed something, but you were always so nice to me, I didn't even think about what else may have been going on. I just thought that's how brothers are supposed to be. I mean, when I started seeing guys in middle-school, I might have had some thoughts that you didn't seem to be dating much, but I know you did, so I just assumed you might have been maybe a little shy." "There were probably several reasons for that, I think now, but they don't matter anymore." "So, I guess you don't really have a cold. Your voice does sound reasonable. Certainly not like Ash's." "No, I've been lucky, no colds, but I had to say something, give some reason. As to my voice, that's something I'm still working on. And, let me tell you, it's getting harder to keep switching. That's part of the reason I decided it was time to tell someone, well, you." "Have you told Logan or Harper? I do know they both like you an awful lot, just like I do." "I've gotten along with Logan really good, I don't hear from Harper very much. I never thought too much about how they felt about me." "Maybe I shouldn't tell you, but I will. I know Logan started college when you started high school, but when I was with one of my girlfriends, her older sister came by, she was two years older than you, and she knew Logan really well, they may have dated even. Anyway, she told me that Logan had met with all the younger guys on the football and basketball teams at the end of his last year in high school which included her older brother, and said that if he heard of anyone at all ever, laying a hand on you, he and Harper would come back and kick every one of their sorry asses. He made them all promise to treat you decently, maybe call you names sometimes but never touch you. She heard it scared the pants off them how serious and tough he was, and they all promised." The waitress came back with their orders and they started to eat. Ashley listened very quietly to all that Bailey was telling her and had trouble not breaking down. She had sometimes wondered why Ash was mostly left alone by the known bullies at the school where some of his friends definitely were physically terrorized. Of course, Ash heard the taunts and was a little fearful of what may then happen, but nobody ever came close to anything physical. Ash thought it might be because he didn't look like a threat to anyone. Now she knew what had really happened. She liked her brothers, they were always decent to Ash, just as Ash tried to be decent to Bailey. She now was gaining a much deeper appreciation for how her brothers treated Ash, as well as what she had learned and easily shared and tried to pass on. "You haven't told Mom or Dad yet, right?" "Yes, I wanted to tell you first because I felt you would hopefully be the most understanding and not just reject me outright. I hoped you would at least listen, ask questions and think about it. Which you have, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." "Ash...ley, Ashley. You know, I like that name for you, looking at you now, I think it fits you much better than Ash fit my brother. In fact, I think I'm going to enjoy having an older sister besides two older brothers." As she said this, she slipped her hands over Ashley's and they clasped their hands together. Ashley now felt closer to her sister than she ever had and said, "Thank you, thank you, Bailey, that means so much to me." She sighed in contentment and finished, "I'll probably come out to Logan in the next few days, Harper when he visits again, and Mom either before or after Harper. I have no idea how or when I'll tell Dad." "I can understand that. Dad can be a little difficult at times." "Yes, he can, but right now, I think Jared's the best thing that could have happened to Dad. He never had a son, as such, but now he has a grandson. And I always saw how much he seems to like Jared." "He does, the one saving grace of my coming back home. He's been treating me a lot better than I expected. I suppose it's a good thing that Jared is such a happy baby." "Um, Bailey, if you'd ever like to get together, go shopping, have coffee, just talk or anything, I'd be happy to do it with you." "Why Ashley, I'd like that a lot. I think that'd be a lot of fun, spending time with my big sister. Of course, until you tell Mom and Dad, you'll just have to be a new girlfriend." "That's probably a good idea." "If you want, I can be there when you do tell Logan. It might help him accept it a little more if he knows I support you. Would you like that?" "Bailey, I'd love it if you would. I'll call you and we can set up a time. Thank you so much." "I'm happy to help. So, do you still live over in Woodside?" "No, thank goodness, I only had a month to month rental, and as you saw, it was clean but really run down, and the neighborhood was getting bad. And then one of the girls in the office needed a roommate for a two bedroom up on the north side in Greenbrier, so I moved up there a little while ago with her. It's so much nicer than the place I had, and my roommate, Lauren, is really nice, too." "That is a nice section of town. So, is she, um,..." "Is she, what?" Ashley asked in a very open and friendly way. "Well, um, is this the right word? A trans, um, something? Like you?" "It's really not for me to say, she's one of the girls who I work with, and when I was hired, she came to me and asked if I would share an apartment with my own bedroom. We have become good friends, and like each other a lot and we've shared things about each other. It's just not for me tell others who or what she is. She deserves her privacy, like I do, like you do. I hope you understand. And we respect each other's privacy. I'm telling you now about me because I want to." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry." "That's all right, I understand. Lots of wrong attitudes of what trans people like me are really like. We're no different than any others, except having one gender showing on the outside and the other gender clawing to get out on the inside. Just like others, we like some privacy; it'd be like whether one should tell others if they have some non-transmittable ailment like cancer or even a toothache. Of course, just like the rest of the world, for instance, many are hetero like I am, although some could be lesbians." "Does that mean you'll date a guy eventually?" "I can't tell the future at all, but yes, I would like to have a relationship with some guy, if there's one out there that may decide he likes me enough to overcome my limitations." "If you decide to and would like some pointers or thoughts, I'd be happy to help you." "Thanks, Bailey, that's so nice of you. I should mention that before I moved to Greenbrier, I had coffee with a guy, Erik...with a k." She smiled at that with a small chuckle and then continued, "I met him at the drugstore. He works behind the counter. He's really a nice guy, but had started dating some girl after I first met him. We still sometimes talk on the phone, and have stayed friends. I've also double dated with my roommate and her boyfriend, several times with different guys each time, although nothing at all happened. They were nice times, but we didn't see each other again." "That's wonderful, Ashley! That's how you do it, starting like that. You know, I think you're really cute, and if and when you decide to jump in all the way, I don't think you'll have any trouble having guys ask you out like that Erik or those other dates. I assume you didn't tell any of them. Will you tell whoever you do date?" "Not for just coffee or a single date, I didn't tell any of them. That's a decision we t-girls all have to face at one time or another. Some girls do go stealth, change their names, give up their past lives, move somewhere else and basically start new as a female. I'd want to feel the relationship is going somewhere and feel really good about the guy, so yes, I would tell him. It would just be a decision as to how soon in the relationship. I do expect some rejections. It goes with territory, they say." "That's brave of you, I would hope it works." "So do I. This has been really nice, Bailey. Thank you so much for coming and listening, and accepting. But, looking at the time, I do have to get back to work. Thank you again for meeting me and being my sister. It means so much to me that you accept me." "Yes, it has been really nice, and looking at you, and talking to you, you appear so confident, so sure of yourself. I think you should have little problem going forward. And I'll be expecting your call about talking to Logan. I'll disown him if he says anything bad about or to you." Ashley said, "Thank you," as they got up to go with Ashley paying for both of them which Bailey appreciated. After walking out together, they each had to go in a different direction, and as they were saying their good-byes, Bailey gave Ashley a little hug which Ashley returned, and they both smiled at each other knowing they would remain close for a long time to come. Now that Ashley did feel that confidence that Bailey saw and that at least one of her siblings was now supportive, she felt a little better about talking to Logan, especially with Bailey next to her. It took some doing, but something unexpected happened that helped. Like with Bailey, she had called Logan using her Ash voice, which he seemed to accept, and set up a time to meet with him. He agreed but seemed even more interested when she told him Bailey would also be there, happy that he'd see his two siblings whom he hadn't seen in several months. Bailey also called him the day before to remind him. A few days later at a different restaurant than where Ashley and Bailey met, both young women were at a table waiting for Logan when Bailey said, "I can't really tell how Logan may take the changes you're going through, but I have an idea on how I can help." "What's that?" Ashley asked. "When he comes in, let me do the initial talking. I want to get him into a position where he'll have to listen, and can't just run away if he doesn't like it." "Please don't do anything rash, Bailey, I would hope that he'll be nice enough to listen and consider everything. If he doesn't, I don't want to have it cause a scene or have him leave having bad feelings towards you." "Don't worry, I won't go that far, just support me when he first comes in." "Okay, I can do that. I hope it works." When Logan finally arrived, and coming up to the table, it was obvious he didn't recognize Ashley at all as he smiled at both young women who were sitting across from one another, and then said to his sister, "Hi Bailey, been some time, you're looking good, and who's your gorgeous friend?" He then glanced at Ashley with a smile which made her blush a little. Bailey slid out from the booth and said, "We'll do introductions in a moment. Here, I'd like to sit next to my brother, so please slide in there if you would." "Um, okay, but I will need to get out in a bit." "That's okay," Bailey replied as after Logan slid in, she then sat next to Logan, which was her plan. Ashley understood right away what Bailey was doing to insure that Logan would at listen for a little while. Once seated, Bailey started it, "Logan, this is Ashley and she's more than a friend." "Hi, Ashley," he said with a big grin, reaching out to shake hands, which Ashley returned. He glanced back at Bailey. "Are you two, um..." Before he could finish, Ashley took a huge breath and said, "Hi, Logan, I was Ash, your brother...now I hope you'll accept me as your sister." "Uh...what? Um, you're my...brother? You've got to be kidding." He turned to Bailey, "She's my brother?" "Yes, and you'd better be nice to her, because she is no longer your brother, she is now your sister. And you can ask her anything you like." "I...I'm sorry, this is so sudden, I mean, well, ..." "Yes," said Ashley, "I don't doubt you're shocked. But this is who I am and have been since I can remember." She then told her story to Logan, who she could see was having a hard time accepting what he was seeing and hearing. And then, that something happened. Another young woman showed up at the table and said, "Hi, Logan. Here I am. So, which one is your sister? And you said your brother was also coming?" Logan started to ask Bailey to move, but she continued as she slid in next to Ashley, "No, no, you can stay there, there's an open seat right here. I'll be fine here." "Hi," she said taking both Bailey and Ashley in with her smile, "I'm Annie." Before Ashley or Bailey could say anything, Annie then looked at Logan with a smile, "I'm his fianc?e." And she reached out her left hand and showed them her engagement ring. Ashley was the first to respond as Annie directed her hand more towards Ashley at first, and said, "Oh, my, that's really beautiful. Congratulations. Oh, and I'm Ashley, Logan's sister." "Nice meeting you, Ashley," she said as they shook hands, "but, I'm sorry, I though your name was Bailey?" Bailey now piped up, "Hi Annie, I'm Bailey, also Logan's sister, let me say that it's really nice to finally meet Logan's girlfriend and see a ring on your finger. Congratulations." Turning to Logan she said, "It's about time, Logan." Annie looked at both women, and then at Logan, "Didn't you tell me you had one sister?" He rolled his eyes as he said, "Well... I guess I have two." Ashley then said to Annie who appeared really perplexed, "Let me explain." Which she did. Part way through the explanation, Annie interjected, "I want you to know that I do understand what you're going through, Ashley, at least a little. I have a cousin, a second cousin, I think, who is now into transitioning and I had a long talk with her, and I want to say that I find it so positive that you're willing to do what you can to get your mind and body to match. Good for you." With his fianc?e fully accepting Ashley, with a little hesitation, Logan now also accepted Ashley as his sister. The four then had a very enjoyable lunch sharing their stories as well as their joy in meeting Annie as they would soon be related. In talking about the wedding which was planned for about seven months later, Annie mentioned that she and Logan were planning a fairly big wedding. She finished by asking, "I know I would and I think Logan, too, would like you both to be a part of our wedding as bridesmaids. Would you two?" Bailey quickly replied, "I would love to, and I'm sure you would too, Ashley." Caught up in the moment and more than a little surprised, Ashley replied, "Oh, my, yes! I'd love to, thank you so much!" They parted with Ashley feeling really good about herself and her family. Both Bailey and Logan and now Logan's fianc?e accepted her, which she hoped would continue with the rest of her family. She thanked Bailey immensely for being so supportive and helpful. And she was absolutely thrilled that she had been asked to take part in a wedding, as a woman, as a bridesmaid. She could barely contain her joy. Getting together with Harper was more difficult because of the distances, but when he came back to town to visit, Ashley got Bailey and Logan, as well as Annie to be with her when she told Harper. It took a little more convincing by the four of them for Harper to come around, although he still expressed strong reservations. "Look, I understand a little what you're doing, but I'll have to think about it, maybe read up on it some. I'm certainly not going to reject anyone in our family for choosing a different lifestyle since it's not like drugs or booze or other anti-social or possibly destructive behaviors. I'll just have to think on it, and if you don't mind, I may have some questions." "Harper, you can call me, text me, or we visit anytime you want, I'll do my best to give any honest answer I can." It did take him some time to come around, with their distance apart being part of it, but when he finally did, it was for one of the biggest moments in Ashley's life. But that was still some time away. Feeling a lot better about how she was being accepted by her family, Ashley finally decided it was time to come out to her mother, and this time it would be just the two of them. She planned to meet her mother at her mother's house when Frank was at work. This way, she felt her mother would feel more at ease and relaxed, and Ashley could respond, and perhaps be considered, more as her now adult child. Calling her mother on a Tuesday morning, she said (trying to pull up her Ash voice), "Hi, Mom. If it's all right, I'd love to come over to your home and visit a little this afternoon. I've got the time off because I'm ahead on my work, so I asked and my boss is letting me take off this afternoon." "That would be wonderful, Ash. It's been too long since I've seen you and we've had some time together. I want to know all that you're doing and everything." "Oh, I plan on telling you as much as you want to hear, maybe even more." "Yes, that would really be nice." "Good, I'll be there about 1 if that's all right? I do have to get back to work right now, so I stay ahead, see you then. I love you, Mom." "That would be fine. 1 PM. I love you, too, Ash. See you then. Bye." At 1PM, Ashley was on the front porch of her parent's house, as nervous as anything, but knowing she had to do this. She rang the bell and waited, trying to keep her nerves in check. Her mother opened the door, gave sort of a blank look to this young woman standing and smiling in front of her and said, "Yes? May I help you?" Ashley took a deep breath and hoped for the best, and said, "Hi...Mom. I'm Ash, your son, would it be all right if I came in and we talked about it?" Her mother looked at Ashley with that blank expression and said, "You...you're Ash? My son? I...no, wait, are you in costume? In the theater or something?" "I'd love to tell you everything, Mom, but it would be so much easier if I could come in and we could sit down. But, if you don't want to, we can sit on the porch here, or...I guess I don't have to stay if you don't want me to." Mrs. Walters looked at Ashley for a long moment, then sort of exhaled a little and relaxed and said, "No, please don't go. Come in, I would like to know more." Ashley was already missing the usual hug she was hoping for, as her mother opened the door and motioned her in. She said, "Thanks, Mom. It's been really hard not telling you, I've wanted to for a long time, but I had to do some things first. I hope you'll understand." "I'll try. We can sit here in the living room." "Mom, how about at the kitchen table like we've done so many times in the past, here and in our last home on Central." Her mother looked at Ashley with a small smile that was slowly growing, "I'd like that a lot. Yes, we did have some nice conversations here. Can I get you anything?" "Um, if you have a Diet Coke, I'd love that, but if you don't, coffee or water even would be nice." "I was hoping you'd come by, as I've been saving a few bottles for you." She pulled one out of the refrigerator and poured Ashley a glass. "Thanks, Mom, I knew I could count on you for this." "I'm always ready to see my children, even if you do look so different. So, I guess before I start with all the questions I have, maybe you should tell me what all has happened to you, to get you to this." Ashley then explained to her mother most of her story, getting the job at Johnston Industries, meeting other girls like herself, learning to understand herself and what she was. She talked about the feelings she had growing up, and how she kept them hidden. And she explained that she had been seeing a therapist and a doctor for several months and was in the process of scheduling her surgery. After Ashley answered most the questions her mother had about surgery and seeing a therapist, her mother said, "You were mostly a happy child, Ash, but I could tell there were moments where I did wonder what you were thinking, what was bothering you, but you usually got happy again, and you hardly ever got into trouble or anything, so I just let it go, thinking, well, maybe that's just how you are." "Yes, I remember. I tried to hide it for years, that's why I didn't go out with girls that much. I always liked them and all, like I do now, as friends, good and close friends, but I just didn't see myself as their boyfriend. It just didn't feel right. But now, how I am, how I feel, and everything. I'm just about as happy as I could possibly be. I have a wonderful job, a great boss, I have lots of girlfriends, and we all go shopping together, and go out after work together, and I feel, well, I feel so right now." "You know, after having Harper and Logan, I was sort of hoping for a little girl, and then..." "No, Mom, I don't mean to interrupt you but I see where you're going. That's not at all how it works. Mothers can hope all they want, but it's how the genes come together, how certain things happen during a pregnancy, right at the beginning, when you're not ever sure you're pregnant. Your body, your and my dad's genes, they mostly come together normally, but sometimes, things happen inside, at the basic level, that you or anyone can't control, almost immediately. Nobody's sure exactly how it all happens yet, and most babies come out normal, a few come out with certain issues, some come out gay, and a few come out like me. The mind of one and the body of another. Now days, if the person wants, things can be straightened out. Not perfectly, but enough so the person, me, for instance, can feel right. And I so do. I absolutely do." "Oh, I didn't know." "Mom, don't feel you did anything wrong. In fact, you did everything I could imagine, right for what you and I and anyone else knew. You taught me right from wrong, to be responsible for my own actions, to respect people and their things for those who deserve it, and mostly you gave your love to me. I have always loved you, Mom. I've always thought you were the greatest Mom in the world. And I still do." Ashley could see that her mother appreciated those compliments. Mary then said, "Can I ask you this? Are you truly happy with what you've done?" "Yes, Mom, as I said, this is just about the best thing I've ever done. I am not just happy, but I'm more comfortable with who I am than I have ever been. It didn't quite start that way, but once I started, well, with each day, I more and more realized this is truly what I am and I want to be for the rest of my life." "Oh, Ash....ley. It will take me a little to get used to that, but I think I understand now. So I now have two daughters and two sons. I guess that you're all healthy and seemingly happy, successful in your own way, that's what I would hope for any of my children. And that you all four are, that's as much as I could possibly hope." "Thank you, Mom, I'm so happy you feel that way." "Well, you all are my children. I wouldn't have had any of you if I didn't want you. I wanted all of you, and you all are making me feel so proud. Do your sister and brothers know?" "Yes, I've already told them and they're mostly supportive. "That's good. Oh, are you going to tell Frank? Should I?" "I'll have to tell him. I don't know exactly when yet. I know he can be difficult at times, it will just depend on how things go." "Yes, I understand. I can't tell you how he'll react. He is a little opinionated, but I do love him." "Good, Mom, please keep doing so, regardless of how he may feel about me. It's something he and I will just have to work out. I'm hoping we can. Like I have already with Bailey and Logan, and I'm doing with Harper. He's taking a little longer, but I'm sure he'll come around." "I can talk to Harper if you'd like me to. I might be able to help him accept you." "Thank you for the offer. You can try, just don't push him too hard. I want you all to accept me because you believe in me and support me because you can see how happy I am now." "Yes, I can see that, Ashley. Oh, you know Logan is getting married. Annie is her name. Late February I believe." "Yes, I've already met her, and she asked both me and Bailey to be attendants in her wedding." Mary smiled, "Oh, that is so nice of her and Logan, to include you both. I think Harper will be an usher too." "Yes, it is." "I am such a lucky woman to have two handsome sons and now two beautiful daughters. And I love you all dearly. I'm such a lucky mother." She stood up and opened up her arms to Ashley who then with tears coming, embraced her mother back saying, "Like I'm a lucky daughter to have such a loving mom. Thank you, Mom. Thank you so much." And they held that embrace for a few moments, moments that Ashley absolutely loved, now knowing that her mother fully accepted her. When they broke apart, Ashley asked, "Mom, if you'd like, whatever weekday is convenient, I'd love to have you come into town and have lunch with me. We can also go shopping, too, if you'd like?" Ashley's mother looked at her with a slight smile and replied, "You'd like to go shopping with me? I'd love to. I do remember a little boy who absolutely hated it." Ashley giggled a little and said, "Mom, that was pretty much just an act. There were a few times where I badly wanted to go with you, but to look at clothes for girls. I just don't think you would have understood then and I didn't want to be reminded of my dreams and yearnings, thoughts that I was sure would never come to pass. I was so much trying to be the boy everyone expected of me, you know, a boy who would spit and swear, hang out with other boys and get into fights, pull girls pigtails. But I could never do that, it just didn't seem right. Now, with how I feel and am, I can't wait to have you help me shop in the young women's section, or help you pick out whatever suits your fancy." "Then, let's plan on it." Ashley and her mother talked for a while more before she finally had to leave. She now felt really at peace with herself knowing that her family, except for her father whom she knew she would eventually have to tell, accepted her. Sure, Harper was taking a little longer, but she just knew he would eventually come around. With all that weight off her shoulders, she now focused fully on her work. And it was so much so that besides the other women noticing, Mr. Relsly also began noticing. During her fourth month of working at Johnston Industries, Mr. Relsly called Ashley into his office. She had no idea why, wondering if there was something she did. "Ashley, I am very impressed with how well you're doing. You've fully caught up with the other young women, and are performing just as well if not better. I've submitted you for a raise of eight percent which works out to about two thousand dollars a year. Here's a copy of the request. It should start showing up in your next pay period." "Why, thank you so much Mr. Relsly. I didn't expect this at all. But, I truly appreciate it. I'll continue working to be the best I can." "I'm sure you will. It's been a pleasure having you on the team." Ashley continued being as happy as she could ever imagine, having a good job and a boss who appreciated her, surrounded by friendly and supportive women, having close friends as well as family members she could visit, get together with, go shopping with, share moments with. She continued being available for filling in on double dates, but in late October, there was one guy, Nick, she met that brought rise to some feelings she had seldom if ever experienced, and she accepted a second date with him. They had a very enjoyable time and upon dropping her off, and walking her to her door (she wasn't going to invite him in, for various reasons), she tried to let him know she was interested. He picked up on it and they kissed. She enjoyed it, actually quite well and more so than she had felt from Mr. Austin's kiss, as she felt Nick also did. He told her things she liked hearing and she replied in kind. He called her during the week, expressing his enjoyment of the date and being with her, and asked her out again, which she accepted. She didn't think she loved him at that moment although she felt she had definite feelings for him that seemed to be increasing. She certainly liked that he was very considerate, treated her well, and shared many common interests, which helped her in happily returning her enjoyment of being with him. They even held each other's hands on occasion. Sitting in his car outside her apartment after their third date, she decided that it was time to tell him, before they got any more involved, and her feelings grew even more. "Nick, I have to tell you something. Please, just listen for a moment, and think about it." "Sure, Ashley, no problem. You do sound so serious, though." "Well, I would say it is. It's about me. I like you a lot Nick, going out with you now, tonight, like the previous times, has been really enjoyable, and if you feel the same way, I'd, um, like to keep doing this. If you want..." "I do feel the same way, Ashley, I've really had a great time with you..." "Good, so please let me finish, okay? Well, before we get any more involved or serious, I have to tell you about myself, and it's important that I do and that you know. I'm...transgendered." Nick looked at her somewhat questioningly, and asked, "Transgen...what does that mean? Do you have some kind of illness or something?" "No, I'm don't have anything like that. I do have checkups and all that and I'm quite healthy. Everything is as normal as expected. Transgendered means I was born with the physical characteristics of a male, but inside I'm female, and I'm in the process, and getting closer to finishing, of having everything corrected." "Oh....oh! You mean like those drag queens on cable?" "Maybe at most, a very tiny bit like them, but those are guys who like to dress up, you know, get into costumes, and go way overboard to look like, oh, sort of a strange vision of a way overdressed woman, and for the most part, they want to stay guys. Some may be gay. People like me should have been born as girls, but something didn't quite go right, and so if we really, really want it, which I do, we then go through a process to get everything corrected. Which I'm doing and will finish in just a few months." "Um, I sort of see, I guess. I don't know how to ask this, do you still have, um, well..." "I know what you're asking, so let me cover what I do have. This hair is mine, I have had some extensions added, but even they will be gone soon as my hair continues to grow out. I don't have any facial hair, no bearded lady, these are my natural eyes, no contacts, I had a tiny bit of collagen added to my lips, but no place else. I am wearing a padded bra but behind them are my, well, boobs, which are still filling out. But, yes, there is still something down there, tho there's hardly anything left, and it will be fully replaced in just a few months." "Oh. So, like you have, um both parts and one is sort of extra?" She sighed, "No, just the one, but like I said it will soon be totally gone, and the exact right part will be there in its place." She glanced at him and could see even in the dark that he was somewhat confused if not in turmoil. She knew she had had to tell him, and she knew going in that it may not turn out well, but telling him was more important. She then said, "Nick, it's all right. I'm sure it's a surprise, maybe even a shock. If you have to think about it, that's all right, take as long as you like. I do like you, as me, Ashley a girl, and I really would like to see you again, but it's your decision." She paused hoping he'd say something, and when he didn't right away, she continued, "I can see myself in. This has been a very enjoyable date, dates. You're a great guy, really. Any girl would be lucky to have you." She started to get her things and open the car door when he said, "Ashley, you're right. It is a shock and I will have to think about it. But, I'll see you to your door." Her hopes increased a little as he came around, opened the door and they walked up to the apartment, but they hardly said a word to each other. Nor did their hands find each other's. She then felt that while he may not accept her, he still had good manners. He would make some girl happy, although it probably wouldn't be her. At the door, she glanced at him and could see that he was still having problems. This was what she feared might happen, and guessed she wouldn't see him again. It hurt, perhaps more than a little. He said as they stopped, "I had a really nice time, Ashley, thank you." She looked up at him with a soft smile and replied, "So did I." Very quickly she took his hands in hers, reached up, and like with Erik, gave him a kiss on the cheek, saying, "You are a great guy, Nick. Good- bye." She let go, quickly turned, heard him say, "Bye", and entered her place, just briefly glancing back to see him walking back to his car. She didn't want him to see the few tears welling up in her eyes. Back in the apartment, the next morning, Ashly and Lauren consoled each other as Lauren had broken up with the guy she was dating who had introduced Nick to Ashley. Lauren had not yet come out to him. They went shopping later that day to take their minds off the problems they had faced. When Nick didn't call during the week (nor ever again), as Ashley strongly suspected would happen, she now knew it was over. She got over it after a while as she had her job, her girlfriends, and now a wedding that was approaching where she would be in the bridal party. Two weeks later on a Saturday, now early November, she got a text from Erik, who said he was in the neighborhood and wondered if she would like to meet him for coffee. Pleasantly surprised, she accepted and they met at nearby coffee shop where as promised she paid for their coffee. They both had an enjoyable time, deciding to remain just friends, which they did, texting or phoning each other and every so often meeting like they had for just coffee and friendship. At this time, Ashley knew of no reason to come out to him, but felt that eventually it would be appropriate. Having Erik as a friend did help her get over Nick. Chapter 7 A Wedding to Attend Ashley now had a wedding to look forward to as a bridesmaid, as well as to help out in any way she could. Annie was quite glad to have both her and Bailey as attendants. They met Annie's maid of honor, Leslie, Annie's best friend from college and all four young women got along quite well. Annie's reason for having both sisters to be bridesmaids was that she had only one sibling, a brother, who would be part of the wedding as a groomsman, and she had a younger cousin of the appropriate age who would be a junior bridesmaid. She had room now to include Logan's family and Bailey and Ashley were very acceptable. As opposed to having had some tears of sadness when Nick never called back, Ashley would now sometimes go to bed with tears of joy as not only was she now moving towards living as fully as she could as a woman, she had supportive friends and family, she was dating guys occasionally, and now she would be part of her brother's wedding. Ashley said to her future sister-in-law, "Annie, I'm honored and thrilled that you've asked me to be a bridesmaid. I certainly will start making plans, and anything I can do to help you between now and then, please don't hesitate to ask." "Thank you, so much, Ashley. I'm so happy you accepted. I just know you and Bailey will help make my wedding just beautiful." "Only you have to beautiful, we just have to be a little less so. However, I do have one problem, which I hope you will understand. I haven't yet come out to my, our, father as he often is opinionated, and I'm not at all certain he will understand. With you and Logan getting married and all, I really don't want to do so before your wedding and take the chance that it may upset any part of the upcoming events. I do plan on telling him eventually sometime after, but I just don't know when. However, I have an idea about how I might handle that, but since it's your wedding, you should have the say so." "Oh, no! I'm so sorry to hear about you and your father. What are you suggesting?" "At this moment, if you're agreeable, I'd like to stay in the wedding party as a friend of yours, rather than as Logan's sister. Logan, Harper, Bailey and your soon to be mother-in-law all know about me, but besides my father, nobody else in the family or my parent's friends do. If I'm just a good friend, anyone else at the wedding, friends of my family, distant relatives, won't know anything to talk about who or what I am. I'll just be another girl. Do you understand? Is that acceptable? I don't want to put you or Logan on your special day in any kind of situation where you'll have to put your happiness of the moment aside to explain who I am, answer questions, that sort of thing." Annie replied, "Ashley, I fully accept you as you are. But I want you to be comfortable too. So, yes, I think that could work. Will you tell your father and your family's relatives and friends if you ever decide to get married and have a formal wedding?" "I'm not even thinking about any wedding I might have, I'm just focusing on continuing to be who I am," she smiled and continued, "although, it would probably help if I had a boyfriend." "Definitely, it would. But suppose you do find someone after your surgery. Would you tell him, and your father and other family members before you're married?" "I would definitely tell whoever I was intimate with. He has a right to know. But, the others? I suppose we could elope which would solve lots of problems." She paused for a moment, then continued, "No, my, our mother deserves better. It will be my wedding then, and I'll be fully responsible for coming out to everyone before then, or explaining myself at the appropriate time. I just don't want to in any way, cause any distractions from you and Logan on your big day." "Okay, I understand, I'll do what I can to help you with that. Now, if you're ready, here are some of my ideas for colors and design." Christmas and the holidays came, but Ashley came up with a reason not to visit her parents or see her father, since he would be expecting Ash. She exchanged gifts with her siblings, and with her friends at work. Lauren invited her to come with her to her family residence, who knew about her, which Ashley did, which helped explain why she wasn't around at Christmas day. She missed being with her family at her parents' house, but accepted the reasons why. As Annie and Logan's wedding approached, Ashley began getting a little excited that she was now over half a year in transition with her surgery planned for late July. She was taking all the prescriptions that her physician ordered for her and had been approved for the surgery. She now had had most of her excess hair removed, her skin was now softer, while various parts of her body were taking on a more noticeable feminine shape with her breasts filling out enough that she only occasionally used any pads. Depending on when any additional growth stopped, she was still seriously considering breast augmentation surgery. Her hair was almost as long as she liked as most the length of the extensions had been trimmed off, and she had a very acceptable voice. Since there would be several events besides the wedding and reception where her and Bailey's mother would be involved, such as bridal showers, rehearsal dinners and the like, Ashley sat down with both Bailey and her mother and explained, as she had done with Annie, that since Jack didn't know yet, nor did any of Jack and Mary's friends or relatives know about Ashley, that she would be participating as a friend of Annie's, with Annie's full approval. Bailey readily understood while Mary was just happy that her three children were involved in their brother's wedding and easily agreed. Ashley also talked to Harper who also agreed, and Annie told Logan. Nobody else including Leslie would know at this time to whom Ashley was related. Everyone else just assumed as Annie encouraged them to accept, that Ashley was a good friend. Ash's absence was eventually explained as him having been sent overseas for his job and unable to get back in time. Before the wedding there were three bridal showers that Ashley attended, one each given by the mothers and their close relatives and friends, and one given by Leslie and other friends of Annie's. Ashley had a wonderful time at all three, and was fully accepted as a young woman and friend of Annie's. She also made time for whenever Annie wanted to go shopping, talk about the upcoming wedding, or just hang out, as Leslie lived and worked some distance away. All this gave Ashley more affirmation that her transitioning was on track to be successful. She was also learning about what it took for the bride to plan and prepare for her wedding, which allowed her to dream about the possibility, although with no long term relationships in the offing, any wedding for her would be a long way away, if even that. As she had said to Annie, she did acknowledge that at this moment actually dating a guy would also help. At the wedding rehearsal, those in the wedding party were all introduced to each other. Ashley found herself paired off with a young man who was a friend of Logan's from college, Jason Williams, who was one of the groomsmen/ushers. She assumed it was a random pairing because she was the first bridesmaid to enter just after the junior bridesmaid, and Jason was down the line as groomsman. She didn't know until much later that Annie, with Bailey's help, had intentionally placed them like that as Logan had told both women that he didn't think Jason was seeing anyone. Annie and Bailey decided to see if anything would happen between the two, given a little nudge. At the dinner following the rehearsal, Ashley again found herself seated to next to Jason and they struck up a conversation which both seemed to enjoy. She did find him fairly handsome, and since she wasn't seeing anyone, considered that if he ever asked her out, she would probably accept. But not knowing him very well, she felt that he most likely had a girlfriend somewhere, although maybe not yet serious enough to have been invited. During the rehearsal and at the following dinner, Ashley did keep her distance from Logan, Harper, Bailey, and Mary so as to keep Jack from showing any curiosity about her as being anyone other than just a friend of Annie's. Spending time with Jason seemed to not only help with that, but it was so pleasant that the time just flew by. She finally glanced at her cell phone, and said, "Oh, my, I didn't realize it was getting so late. I should be finding my ride home. Now where are Annie and Logan?" Visually searching around the room, she saw that there were only a few people left, and none of them were either Annie or Logan. Jason quickly said, "Um, well, his brother, Harper, came by after you excused yourself, and said Logan had asked him a little earlier to give you a ride home as he and Annie were leaving at that time. He asked if you were ready to go as he and his date were ready. I said you were, um, busy, and I'd be happy to see you home...if that's all right with you? If not I can call for a taxi or something for you." "Oh, uh, are you sure it's not a problem for you? I didn't want to inconvenience Logan, or anyone, but, well..." "Hey, no problem at all. You said you live up in Greenbrier? That's not at all hard to get to and definitely not too far out of my way." "Then, yes, I would love a ride, thank you for offering." They left and on the way, Jason asked if she would like to stop for a drink. After a very brief hesitation, she agreed and they continued having a nice time together until he finally dropped her off. He didn't ask for her number, so Ashley wasn't sure if he was that interested in her, or was he just doing Logan a favor. Of course, they would see each other the next day at the wedding. She then realized she had better get to bed as it had been a long day and would be another long day. The next morning she was up and dressed and ready to go when Leslie picked her up to go meet with the other young women at a salon. This was the first time since her time at VanHisen that Ashley had been in a salon. In talking to the nail technician and a cosmetologist, she found out that the makeup that had been applied earlier was not fully permanent and they showed her a mixture that could remove it. She just had some touchups done, but purchased the remover as she desired to try different shades and possibilities. She also had her hair trimmed and styled. Finishing up, the women then went to the church to get dressed for the wedding. There were no issues as they dressed and, at the appropriate time, entered the back of the church. As Ashley started her walk down the aisle, she noticed Jason up front, smiling at her. The ceremony went off successfully with Jason escorting Ashley back up the aisle at the conclusion. This was followed with lots of pictures being taken. Finally, the wedding party went to the hall where the reception was being held, and after a receiving line, they found their seats. Ashley and Jason were again seated next to one another. Ashley was already sitting when Jason pulled up his chair next to her and said, "Hi!" Ashley smiled at him, thinking he does look sort of handsome and said, "Hi, again!" "We really have to stop meeting like this, I think people are starting to get suspicious." "Oh, I don't know, let them think what they want. I like it...here." Jason sighed, smiled at her and replied, "So do I." They continued chatting, sharing some of their thoughts of the bride and groom - all positive, as well as some of the dresses and attire some of the guests were wearing. There were toasts made, by Leslie, the best man, and Harper. And then Jason made the last one. "Here's to the groom, one of my best friends in college, to the bride, who will no doubt make Logan an even better man than he is, and to weddings everywhere, as they bring out such handsome men, and even more beautiful women." He lifted his glass to the bridal couple, then to the guests, and as people applauded and agreed, he then turned to Ashley and clinked the glass she had raised, smiling directly at her. For a moment, she felt a flush of slight embarrassment, but returned it, with her smile directed at him alone. They went through the serving line together with the rest of the bridal party, with Jason helping her with her dishes. Later when the music started and the wedding party took the floor, Logan partnered with each attendant including Ashley. "I will tell you that I never would have dreamed I'd ever be dancing with you, but I will admit, I think it's great. You look really pretty, Ashley. Are you having a good time?" "Oh, absolutely, thank you for asking and thank you so much for your comment. I so appreciate it. I just wish I could have danced with Dad like he and Bailey did. I know Mom probably pushed him to do that, but still..." "I understand. But there will be other weddings, I'm sure. Harper, even Bailey, possibly. Maybe even yours. That's the most important one. Are you going to tell Dad soon?" "Probably sometime in the next month or two. I just have to find the right time." "If you need any help, just ask." "I will if it comes to that. And thank you so much as I've told Annie so many times, for having me be part of this. I am so happy right now." "Good. I see you and Jason are having a good time." "Yes, he's really nice. It's been a lot of fun doing all these things with him." After dancing with Logan, she and Jason shared a lot of dances together, sitting together and talking, visiting with various people, walking off to quiet corners. She and Jason continued to take to the dance floor long after Annie had thrown her bouquet - which Leslie caught, and Logan had tossed the garter - which some male cousin of Annie's had caught. Logan and Annie said their good-byes to the remaining guests and left, but the bridal party was invited the next morning at her mother's place for a small breakfast before Logan and Annie left on their honeymoon. Jason by this time had offered to drive Ashley home, which she was now sort of hoping for. It was late when they got to her apartment, and they sat in his parked car for a while and talked. They found out each other worked at Johnston, but in locations of opposite side of the city. He was a design engineer and had only been to the building where Ashley worked on one occasion about a year earlier. Finally he walked her to the door, and after a moment's hesitation, asked, "Would you like to go to dinner and maybe see a movie next weekend?" Ashley took a breath as this was what she was really hoping would happen, and replied, slowly and calmly, which was the opposite of what she was feeling, "That sounds really nice, I'd like that. Thank you. Here's my number, call me this week with a time, okay?" "Sure!" They then sort of awkwardly looked at one another, and then to Ashley's happiness, they kissed. It was a brief one, but one Ashley really liked, as Jason said, "I have to go, I had a really great time this past weekend with you, Ashley, I hope we can continue it." "So do I." That was the start of them seeing each other which continued on through the late winter and into Spring. They had a number of dates where they continued enjoying being with one another, sharing their life stories (Ashley, of course, had to fudge it a little), and having their intimate moments become more involved. Besides movies, they attended concerts, sporting events, and going out with Jason's friends. Thinking back to how she felt about Nick before she came out to him, Ashley now understood that those feelings paled in comparison to the feelings she was having about Jason. Holding hands, sharing light kisses, being held by him and embracing him back, they all felt unbelievably wonderful. She was having feelings and emotions beyond even what she felt with Nick, and she knew it was Jason and his closeness, his touches, their embraces, even just being near him, that excited her in ways that absolutely no other person had ever even come close to. It was now remembering the times they had started professing their love for one another that added to her feelings about him. He had actually said it first, as she was still a little unsure of herself and the emotions she was feeling, but she immediately responded as she realized that he was expressing that he felt that way about her. "I do love you, Ashley. I haven't said it very seldom to any of the girls I've dated, but I do. You bring something out in me, that I really like, and I want it to continue." "I love you, too, Jason. I didn't exactly understand that I felt about you that way, but you saying that, all of a sudden it all became clear." They had professed their love for one another. She now accepted that with the way she now felt about him and the two of them, she knew it was time to tell him, and that meant to tell everything. She realized she maybe should have done it sooner, but she also realized she was a little selfish and wanted to enjoy how their romance was progressing and didn't want to do anything to upset it. She had to tell him. But suppose he rejected her like Nick had done? What would she do? How could she go on living? It was Spring again, about ten months since she started living as Ashley, but of course, not yet a year since she started seeing her therapist. The date of her surgery was now just over three months away. Perhaps she could just disappear for the several weeks, come back and meet up with him, and if everything had healed properly, maybe she would never have to tell him. But, she realized, that wouldn't be right, not at all. She would have to tell him, and regardless of when it was, he could still decide to call off their relationship. She had to do it. It was now the time. The following week, after their outpouring of emotions, they were together in her apartment after another wonderful time out. Lauren was gone for the weekend to her family's place, so Ashley and Jason had the apartment to themselves. Both Lauren and Ashley invited dates in when the other wasn't present, and so far it had worked out. Now, Jason and Ashley were sitting on the living room sofa being close, sharing embraces, and just idle conversation. Ashley then became very quiet as she knew now was the time and she would need all her courage. With his arm around her, and Ashley leaning into him, Jason quietly asked, "Babe? Is everything okay? You seem a little more quiet than usual." She took a breath, and looking up at him, replied, "Everything is so wonderful right now, we're together, we love each other. But, there's something I have to tell you. Something very important, and I hope you'll still love me as much when I'm done." "It can't be that bad. I do love you, Ashley, more than any other girl I've ever spent any time with. If there's some problem, we can work it out. Is there something I've done? Or didn't do?" "You've done everything right, everything. It's about me." "You're not, like, on the run from the authorities or anything? Do you have some kind of illness?" "No, I can't think of any law I've broken, maybe jaywalking, and I see a doctor regularly, but it is about my health." "You can share with me anything. We'll work it out together." "Thank you, but just listen, then you can make up your mind. First, I have tell you something I should have told a long time ago. When I explain it, you'll understand. Your good friend, Logan and his brother, Harper, are my brothers, and Bailey is my sister. My actual name is Marion Ash Miller. Frank and Mary Walters are my mom and dad. Well, Frank is my step-dad, but he raised me." "Wait! I'm confused here. Logan's dad is also your dad? But if I remember, at Logan's wedding, you two never talked or even seemed to notice each other, yet I remember you spending time with Logan's mom, Bailey, and Harper. It's like you two didn't even seem to even recognize the other." "So, what's happening is that I'm going through a very involved, difficult and even controversial process right now which started last fall. I wasn't sure for the wedding and I'm still not sure at all how my dad will take it. I've kept it hidden from him and, except for my Mom, Harper, Logan, and Bailey, from everyone else in our extended family because I didn't want to have my problems interfere in the least with Annie and Logan's wedding. It was their special day, and they deserved to have all the attention be on them, and them alone. What I'm doing may have caused some issues for them and my Dad and me." "I can understand that about wanting their wedding to be special, but what, um, process are you going through that would require all that." "Jason, I'm," she took a breath, hoping for the best, and finished, "transgendered...and I'll be having my final surgery in about three months now, to complete the process of becoming a mostly full functioning woman. I'm telling you this because before we go any farther, I have to be honest with you. I have just loved being with you since we met at Logan and Annie's wedding, and everything we've done, and been to each other, and I so hope it can continue. If you have questions, I'll answer as best and honestly as I can, if you need time to think about it, to learn more about it, to talk to others, I understand. Take as much time as you need." There, she had now come out to Jason. She hoped immensely that he could handle it, that he would ask questions, listen, understand what she was going through, but especially that she loved him, a lot even, and that she really wanted their relationship to continue. If Jason did the same as Nick, she would be devastated. But she had to do tell him. He deserved it. "Hmm! You're transgendered. I never would have guessed. Well, I suppose if we somehow got a little more intimate I would have figured out something was up." "You know what it means?" "Well, yes, but not because of you. A friend of a guy I knew at college was transgendered. We all talked about it for a while. The discussion got a little hot as some of the guys, guys I thought were reasonable, well they...they wouldn't accept it. I will tell you Logan wasn't one of them. Is that what you're thinking about with your dad?" She replied, thankful that at least he was listening, "Possibly. I know he can get very opinionated and I have heard him disparage gays and lesbians. I don't look hardly like I did before I started, and since I started, I haven't seen my Dad except at the wedding and he doesn't know what I've done. He thinks Ash is just busy with his job. Right now, to him, I just look like a young woman who is friends with his son's bride. I expect to tell him before I go in for my final surgery." "I hope it works out for you. I should mention that there have been a few rumors going around, not many and now not for some time, but someone mentioned hearing that Johnston had hired someone who was transgendered. Do you think it might have been you?" "Okay, I'm going to get into this a little bit more but you have to promise not to tell anyone ever. Okay? Ever!" "Yes, I promise." "I work in a section that has a mix of young women, some born, some by surgery. I was the last one hired in, as one of the group left. I'm the last to have my surgery. It doesn't matter the numbers. Just that by this summer we will all be women, legally, and physically looking. If there is another section, I'm not aware of it. And it's nobody's business what section it is or who is in it. I'm just glad the company is as open minded as they are and the insurance plan is helping pay for my transition." "Okay, I understand. You said your surgery was....?" "Towards the end of July. I've been seeing a doctor and therapist since last August and it will be a year, which is the standard requirement of living as the gender we should be. I actually started full time last May when I got the job at Johnston, but they don't usually let you count that." "So, I guess this is why you've been a little shy about getting more, um, intimate?" "Yes, I mean, there really isn't that much left, but if things did get involved, I didn't want you to run off in horror." He still had his right arm around her, but they were turned a little more to each other. She was absolutely thrilled that he still seemed to accept her, but she wasn't sure. He then moved his left hand slowly but deliberately up to her breasts as she had let him do in the past. "So, are these...?" She giggled a little, "Yes, they are real and mine. I still wear a padded bra sometimes. But everything you're feeling is pretty much me. They're still growing a little, I don't know how much more. I'm thinking about breast augmentation but with how expensive all the surgery, doctor visits, and medications are, I really can't afford it at this time." "They're nice enough for me. You know there are some things we can do." "I know, maybe sometime soon, now that I've told you, we can maybe explore some." "Okay, I understand a little. You said I could think about it if I wanted. I guess I do. It is getting a little late and I should be going. I do want to thank you for being honest with me. I really like that with whoever I'm dating. And I guess I understand a little about not telling sooner, the wedding, your father." "You're welcome. And take as much time as you feel you need. I just need to know what you decide. I told a guy I dated last fall and he left and never called or anything. That's sort of depressing, if you understand." "I do, and regardless we'll talk some more, I promise. But I should go." He pulled his arm back and slowly got up. She got up too, but she now thought that while he seemed interested in learning more, the longer they talked about it, except checking her breasts, the more his interest in her seemed to cool. She hoped he wouldn't break up with her, but she was more worried than before. At least, he promised to let her know. She now wasn't sure she wanted to see him again if he did reject her. He got his coat on, and they went to the door. And then he turned to her and taking her hands in his, said, "I really enjoyed tonight, having dinner, seeing the movie, and spending time here with you. You are a very beautiful woman, Ashley, and I can't ever imagine you being anything but." He pulled her arms up over his shoulders and slipping his arms around her, pulled her into an embrace. It surprised her, but the kiss was so deep and exquisite that it made her breathless, as he eventually pulled back. Her eyes remained closed as she stood there, in his embrace with her arms around him over his shoulders and upper back. She thought for a moment if he would release her right now, she would just collapse on the floor. "You are so beautiful, Ashley." She could only murmur, "Uh huh." "Your kisses are...." "Uh huh." "I have to go, I'll call you, one way or the other. I promise." "Uh huh." She didn't want him to let go of her, she wanted to stay in his arms forever. He pulled away, with her steadying herself a little, and said, "Bye." She barely opened her eyes, and replied, "Bye," as she watched him walk down the steps and walkway to his car. She had no idea if he had given her a farewell good-bye kiss, or a 'I'm still immensely interested' kiss. She hoped it was the latter but was fearful it was the former. She didn't hear from him the next day, but he didn't always call or text then either. He really wasn't much into texting. On Monday she got a little worried, and on Tuesday, she wondered if maybe she should call or at least text him. She didn't want to be pushy, but she was now getting very worried that he would call and tell her as nicely as he could that they should at the least take a break, or at the worst, he wouldn't see her again. She sent him a brief text, 'missing you', and hoped it wasn't too much or not enough. That evening, her cell phone rang and looking at the caller ID, saw that it was Jason. She was now terrified to pick it up but taking a huge breath, did. "Hi. Jason?" "Ashley! Hi! Look I can't talk long, it was a long day at work and I got to be there early tomorrow, big meeting and all, but I wanted to ask you, would you like to go to that concert we talked about a week ago? I was able to get some tickets for this Saturday. If you'd like?" "Oh! Yes! I...I'd love to. What time?" "I'll pick you up at six, Saturday. But I'll call or try to text again in a day or two when things settle down. Okay?" "Oh, yes, that'd be great." "Gotta go, I love you. Bye!" "I...love you, too. Bye!" Ashley was in tears of joy as she settled into bed. The kiss on Saturday had been for their future, she knew that now. The call about their upcoming date and how he ended it was just confirmation. He loved her and she loved him, and she would soon be a woman who could show her love for him in so many ways. And maybe they could start exploring some of the ways this upcoming weekend. They went to the concert, enjoying every minute of it, and went back to his place, where she spent the night with him. It was also the night where they spent a lot of time thoroughly exploring each other and finding out what each other liked...a lot, and a few things not so much. Mostly it was a night where they not only expressed their now deepening love for one another, but began to tentatively talk about a future they might someday share. On Sunday, after taking her back to her place so she could change, he took her to his family's home for Sunday dinner where she met his parents. She liked them and they were very pleasant with her making her feel quite welcome and accepted. No mention was made of her past. Jason and Ashley's relationship had entered a new phase. Ashley now acknowledged, to herself, to Jason, and to her therapist that she would have to come out to her father, especially since she sort of hoped that not only would he accept her, but, when she would tell him about her relationship with Jason, and what it might mean, he would understand that this could lead to him walking her down the aisle. Bailey's separation from the father of their child had sort of reduced the chances that Frank would be able to ever walk Bailey down the aisle, so maybe, Ashley hoped, it would provide an additional reason for him to accept her. Her mother, Bailey and Logan all now accepted her, and she was confident Harper would completely accept her (they just didn't see each other that much as the distances were large). They still talked as Harper continually had questions but seemed satisfied with Ashley's replies. Working on various ways to approach her father, Ashley called her mother to feel out how best to determine the right way to do that. "Hi Mom, this is Ashley. How are you doing?" "Very good, dear, it's so nice to hear your voice, how are things going with you?" They chatted for a little while, catching each other up. And then Ashley started it, as she said, "Well, the reason I'm calling is that, well, you know this wonderful man I've been seeing, Jason? Who I met at Logan and Annie's wedding? Yes, that's him. So, we sat down a little while ago and I told him everything, all about myself, and he needed a little time to think about it. He did, and we got back together, and we're now closer than ever, and I believe it's getting serious." "So he knows about you and accepts you? Oh, that's so nice to hear." "Yes, it is, we really care for one another, and I'm telling you first. I may be wrong, but I'm thinking there is a possibility that he could ask me to marry him." "Oh, Ashley, dear! That is wonderful. I'm so happy for you. I must say again, how beautiful you looked in Logan and Annie's wedding, as did Bailey. I was so happy to see you included. I wish Frank had known. I just know you'll make a beautiful bride. Are you thinking of having a big wedding?" "Please don't get too excited, and please don't mention it to anyone, as he hasn't done it yet, so I haven't even begun to think about any wedding. But this means that I will now have to tell Dad. If there is a wedding in my future, I would want him there, to be with me, us, so he will have to know all about me, and accept me." "I understand, do you want me to be there with you when you do tell him?" She sighed a little and began, "Well, I've thought about it a lot, and maybe for a moment or two at the beginning to make sure he feels he's in a comfortable place. But he and I will have to work it out, like I did with you, and my brothers and sister. That means being next to one another, and nobody else near where one of us thinks the third person is ganging up. That puts someone on the defensive, and while it might work in some situations, I think just the two of us with give and take, could lead to a better outcome." "Okay, dear, I trust you on this, just let me know when." "Thanks, Mom." Ashley then thought about it some more, and finally in late April decided it was time, as she and Jason were talking more and more about that possible future together. She came over to her parent's house on a Friday afternoon in the last week of April, just before Frank got home from work. She hoped he would be reasonable, and it wouldn't be a drawn out affair. She was planning on going out with Jason for dinner later that evening. She was sitting with her mother, in their living room next to her Dad's favorite chair where he would relax, read the paper or a book, or sit when entertaining family or friends. Ashley's heart was beating rapidly when she heard him come in door. Her mother smiled at her and touched Ashley's hand with hers, as she nodded and said, "It will be all right." Frank came into the room, barely stopping as he saw, to him anyway, a young woman he didn't know, sitting next to his wife. "Hello, dear, how was your day at work?" Mary asked him. "Hi, Mary. It was all right, no real problems, glad to be home." He sat down in his chair and turned to Ashley and said, "I don't think I know you, you're not selling something, are you?" Mary responded, "No, she's not, dear, not at all. I invited her over. This is Ashley." "Oh...good. Hello, Ashley, are you, um, a friend of Bailey's? Logan? Oh, wait, didn't I see you at Logan and Annie's wedding? A bridesmaid? So, you're a friend of Annie's. That's nice. How are she and Logan doing? I don't see him much lately." Ashley smiled back at him, saying, "Hi," took a breath and, with high hopes, replied "Um, they're doing fine, I think. But, I'm more than a friend of Annie's. Dad, I'm your child, I used to be Ash, your son, now I hope you'll accept me as your daughter, Ashley." Frank hesitated a moment with what Ashley felt like was a slowly developing scowl creeping across his face. Before he could say anything, Mary said, "Excuse me, there's a pot on the range I have to see about." And she quickly got up and left which is what Ashley was sort of hoping, to be one on one with her father. "Dad, please let me explain. This is someth..." Jack cut Ashley off with a tone that frightened Ashley, "You say you're Ash?" "I used to be Ash, now I'm on my way to becoming what I should have been all along. A woman, Ashley." He stared at her in a way that Ashley had never seen and it began to scare her a little. He finally said, "Look, I don't know who or what you are, but you are definitely not Ash. We got some perverts and queers at work, and I'll be damned if I'll put up with any in my home. " "But, Dad...?" "Don't ever call me that anymore, you hear me? If you were Ash, then he is...dead to me. Now get the fuck out of here, I don't want to have anything to do with someone who's mutilated the body of my son." "Please, Dad, I love...." "I said out! Now! Don't ever come back, don't speak to me or any of my still living children or my wife. You hear me? Get out of my house!" he was now yelling. Mary reappeared and pleaded, "Frank! Ashley is my guest. This is just as much..." "Oh, you, too! Might have known. How can like you this freak? This monster." He turned back to Ashley as the anger in voice reached a crescendo, "Get out, you queer. Or do you want me to throw you down the steps?" Ashley got right up and headed to the door, "I'm going. Bye, Mom, I love you. I love you too, Dad. I always will." And she left in tears and torn deeply apart to her very inner self. She heard continued yelling from inside the house as she hurried to the street, texting for a Uber ride back to her place. She was in tears for the rest of the afternoon, and still in tears when Jason came by to pick her up. Chapter 7: An Even Better New Start "It was terrible, Jason. He.he was so mean, I just...." She continued crying as he held her in his arms for a long time. "I'm sure it was difficult, more than I can understand. We can stay here and I can hold you as long as you want. Or we can still go out to dinner, if you'd like. Whatever you want to do, I'll be here for you," he eventually said. "Oh, I suppose. I'm sorry I'm this way. I hoped..." "I know you did; just remember, you did nothing wrong. His problem is only about him, not you. I love you, as the beautiful woman you are. You know your mother loves you, so do your brothers and sister. My family adores you, you know that. I do know it would be devastating to me if either my mom or dad wanted to disown me, but you still are surrounded by so many people many who like you an awful lot and many of us who love you. We'll always be there for you, just like we know you'll be there for us. That's a wonderful thing, something to be proud of and carry around with you." "Oh, thank you, thank you," she replied as he pulled her into an embrace and a kiss that lasted a long time. She couldn't stay upset when he held her like this. Being in his arms, hugging him back always made her feel so good about herself, and him, and them. Something deep down always made her feel that this is how she always should have been, here in the arms of a man, loving him, having him love her back. This was right. "Would you like to go to dinner?" Jason asked after a little while. "Yes, I guess so. I can't feel sorry for myself forever." "That a good girl, I'm sure there will be happier days ahead." They went to dinner that night at the same restaurant they first had dinner together, which they both liked. They kept the conversation light and pleasant, as Jason tried to help Ashley take her mind off what had happened earlier, and it seemed to be working. However, Ashley thought there was something a little different about Jason, but wasn't sure enough to ask about it. Having finished their meal, with Jason working slowly on his cheesecake dessert (he really liked cheesecake and this restaurant offered one of the better tasting ones), while Ashley was sipping on her second glass of wine, he said, "Ashley, I have really enjoyed being with you since we met, what? Coming up on two months now?" To her agreeing nod, he continued, "Anyway, I have to tell you that it has just been an amazing, and wonderful time. Like no other time I've ever spent with a girl. Not only are you beautiful, smart, caring, everything I totally like, you are so totally different, too, in a really good way. And, well, I want to give you this, if you'll accept it, I mean, it's sort of special, because, you..you're so very special to me. We've spoken of our love for one another, and I do love you Ashley, and I want to share that love for a long time to come." He handed her a little box with a ribbon and bow, as she replied, "Oh, my goodness! It has been two months, hasn't it. This is such a surprise, a two month anniversary gift. Thank you." "So open it, and if you like it, well, it's very special and I hope you'll like it and want it." "I'm sure I will, anything coming from your love is special to me." She unwrapped it and opened the small box and saw what was inside. After looking at it for a moment, she then looked back up at Jason, exclaiming, "Jason! It's absolutely beautiful, I mean, it's so gorgeous, the little stones, green and blue, emerald and sapphire I think, and the center stone, it's so bright and I can see it reflecting the light. It's a diamond!" She glanced down then looked back up at him, and could barely get out, "Is it what...oh my goodness, it...is" she could hardly breath as some tears started to come. "Yes, it's an engagement ring, and it's for you. Ashley, will you marry me?" Ashley was in shock, and could barely say anything as she looked at the ring and at Jason. Yes, she had mentioned it to her mother, just her mother, as she didn't want to take a chance that she was wrong and would be embarrassed by others. But here he was asking her to marry him. It was still an unbelievable moment for her, as even though she had imagined it in the darkest corners of her mind growing up as Ash, she never really believed it would actually happen. Yet, here it was. "I hope you like the setting. I look at you in the sunlight and sometimes you're eyes are green as anything, and sometimes they're somewhat blue. I thought it would be something special for you to have both in a ring." "Oh, Jason, it's so beautiful. I..." "Here let's see if it at least fits." He carefully took it out of the box that was still in Ashley's now shaking hands. He gently then took the box out of her hands and set it down, took her left hand in his right, and holding the ring in his left hand slipped it on her left hand ring finger. "Good! It fits. So....?" She could still hardly breathe as she looked at the ring and at Jason. This was now a dream coming true, something that she now realized that was what she had wanted all along, to be loved by someone who would want to share his life with hers, and for her to love that person back. It had now been almost a year since she started being Ashley and it all came flooding back to her, all that she had gone through, and done, and been, and learned, and enjoyed. That flood of memories was now followed by a flood of tears, which she couldn't stop and didn't want them to stop. "Is everything okay? I mean..." "Jason, I love you," she managed through her shaking and tears, "I love you so much. This is so beautiful a ring and I'll treasure it forever, because I'll be with the man I love for all that time. Yes....yes, yes, yes, I'll marry you. I love you so much." Like a day some months before, this went from one of her worst days to the best day she could ever imagine. He had taken her hands in his, with his underneath, so that they could see the ring on her finger. "It looks really good there. I hope it's what you really want, I mean the setting and all." "Oh, it is, it's beautiful, it's absolutely perfect. I love it. I love you." They reached across the small table and gave one another a kiss. At that moment, the waiter arrived with two new glasses of the wine they had been drinking and said, "Compliments of some of the patrons." There was a slight applause from some of the tables around them, and they raised their glasses outward to the room and to each other and took a sip. They finished the drinks, and soon paid, and left arm in arm, planning on spending another very enjoyable night together at Jason's apartment. The next morning they talked about when the wedding should take place. There wasn't anywhere near enough time for a June wedding and they decided they didn't want to wait over a year now for it to be June again. She had her surgery coming in late July and would be recovering for the next several weeks. She definitely wanted to be as physically ready for marriage as she could be, so they decided on an early October wedding. Later that day, she called her mother, Bailey, Logan and Harper. Later she shared the news with Lauren, and Deirdre asking them all to be in the bridal party for her wedding. She also asked Cassandra, as Josie has left the company, to help with wedding in special ways, hostess, guest book, reader at the ceremony, and of course they all would be included in all activities. She now had her own wedding to plan for, but she realized she now had something that had to be done before anything else. Understanding that she had to give it one more try, and hopefully get her father to agree to walk her down the aisle, Ashley gathered all her courage and called her parents. Her mother answered. "Hi, Mom, is Dad there? Can I speak to him?" "Yes, he's here, I'm not sure he'll come to the phone, although I'll try." There was a pause, and then a man's voice said, "Yes?" A little surprised but happy that he actually came to the phone, Ashley took a breath, and said as quickly as she could, hoping to get it all out before he hung up, "Hi Dad, this is Ashley. I'm getting married in October, to a very wonderful man, and I would so love to have you walk me down the aisle. Would you, please?" She was surprised upon finishing that he was still on the line, but there was a long pause. "I'm not interested. It's been nice talking to you. Good luck and goodbye." The phone clicked. It was not what Ashley hoped, but at least he was civil, or maybe because her mother was in the room with him, or that he didn't have enough time to think of anything meaner to say. She now hoped that in a few months he might come around, but most likely not in time for her wedding. She would not postpone it based on his feelings. So, now it was time to ask Mr. Relsly. She had told him about the wedding and he had been on the list for a save the date letter. She had previously met his wife at a company outing, and they had gotten along quite well together. The next day at work, she knocked on the door to his office and he invited her in. "Mr. Relsly, I have a huge favor to ask and you can decline if you want. My father still doesn't approve of my transition even though it's done, and he turned me down when I asked him to escort me down the aisle at my wedding. I would be so happy if you would do me the honor. Would you?" If he did decline, she still had Logan whom she was sure would agree. He smiled at her, and replied, "Of course, I would be so honored to do that for you, Ashley. Just fill me in on the details and when and where I should be." "Thank you so much, Mr. Relsly." While some problems were being resolved around the wedding, Ashley's mother, Mary, was heartbroken as she saw that with Frank's rejection of Ashley as well as his forbidding Mary to have anything to do with Ashley, she again seemed like she wouldn't have the opportunity to be mother of the bride that she also wasn't for Bailey. But with encouragement from Bailey and Logan, as well as Ashley, over the next several weeks, she would slip out and join Ashley and the others when she able, to help Ashley select a wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses, attend three showers, one hosted by Jason's mother, one hosted by the Lauren and the young women where Ashley worked, and one hosted by Mary's sister. Since Ashley had now come out to her father, even though he didn't accept her, she also informed several of her relatives, her mother and sister informed the rest, and all were invited to wedding. Her mother did what she could to help in little ways. She also gave Ashley what money she could to help defray some of the costs for the wedding, with Ashley and Jason paying for what they could. Ashley also, with Jason's agreement, after explaining their relationship, invited Erik and a date. Late July arrived for Ashley. Now like Marilou, Deirdre, Josie, Cassandra, and Lauren before her, Ashley traveled to where her surgery was to take place. To her delight, Bailey had agreed to accompany her so she wouldn't be alone. She had to see the doctor several days before to be thoroughly checked over, and then stay for a few days after to make sure things were healing as expected. The surgery was to take place in a larger city across the state, so they booked a motel room for a week. Bailey's absence with Mary watching Jared was explained to Frank as a little vacation for Bailey to be with some friends, which he accepted. Jason was at her apartment with her when they left in a rented car, and would be there when she returned. Lauren was also ready to help Ashley in her recovery, as Ashley had done several months earlier with Lauren. The operation was successful with it taking several more weeks for a full recovery, but by early September, she was on her way to be significantly recovered. Ashley had not taken any vacation days her first year and so had three weeks, with Mr. Relsly's blessing, to use as she was now in her second year at Johnston. Jason did drive over one day as Ashley was recovering in the motel, to be with her and give her support which she greatly appreciated. Ashley was thankful that she had been a part of Annie and Logan's wedding. She got to see and experience close up much of what it entailed and at least a little of what she, and Jason, would have to do. She couldn't count on her parents for contributing much if anything, as she was still not even on speaking terms with her father. She hoped that would change, but she had her doubts. With about six months from their engagement to when they wanted the wedding, Ashley and Jason had to make plans rather quickly. For the reception location, at that time of the year, there wasn't as much demand for venues as there usually was over the summer, but they still had to find a hall and have an idea for how many would be attending, get a caterer and choose a meal plan, hire a dj for music, hire a photographer, decide on alcoholic beverages and much more. There were also planning for flowers, invitations, as well as dresses for her attendants. She contacted the church where she attended as a child, and reserved the date. The church would provide a coordinator for the wedding. Since they would try to pay for it all themselves, Ashley and Jason hoped to keep the guest list to about one hundred, which would mean around 60 guests from Ashley's side and 40 from Jason's. Their first pass at a list showed about two hundred which included spouses, significant others, and children. They did get a surprise anonymous cash gift which allowed them to go up to 150 total meals which was the maximum they could accept. Ashley, Bailey and their mother began immediately looking for wedding dresses, and Ashley chose one as soon as she could, a fitted sheath with thin shoulder straps and a chapel length veil and train. She wanted a dark blue color theme for the bridesmaids dresses and together with Bailey, Deirdre and Lauren, as well as her mother, they were able to select a style with time for fittings and adjustments, one which the other women liked. They sent a save the date note in June with the invitations going out in August. As Ashley was recovering from her surgery in August she had time to get on the phone as well as be driven by someone so as to keep in contact with all the various hired people involved in the wedding and reception to make sure things were progressing appropriately. In the days leading up to the wedding, Ashley learned that her mother was slowly working on breaking down Frank's stubborn attitude towards Ashley one bit at a time. Ashley also heard about some of his rants from her siblings like that Frank swore that neither he nor Mary would ever attend the wedding or be anywhere near there during that time. Mary did share with Ashley that he was very slowly coming around, she just didn't think not fast enough for him to be at the church on Ashley's wedding day, much less walk her down the aisle. When Ashley first opened up to her father, every time Ashley's name was even mentioned by Mary, Bailey, Logan or Harper, he would go into a diatribe ranting about how he had lost a son, and this mutilated person had taken Ash's place. As it appeared that no one was going to support him or even listen to him, he just closed up and would leave the room when any mention of Ashley was brought up. After a number of times like this, he would sink into his chair and act like he wasn't listening. But he did hear. Ashley recovered from her surgery with no complications as everything was healing correctly. Her physician gave her a clean bill of health. She had started the process of legally changing her name and getting all her identification along with credit cards, accounts changed to her new gender. She thought long and hard, and decided to keep her name change simple, and make it Ashley Marion Miller, to still show a remembrance of her natural father. The day of Ashley and Jason's wedding finally arrived, with the bridal party having appointments all morning long, for hair and their nails, and make-up if desired. They all had a good time, and were there for each other, and especially for Ashley. She was sad her mother couldn't be here for this, as Frank knew of the wedding date, and seemed to be keeping a close watch on Mary, but Ashley was thankful that both she and her mother had been able to be together to plan for the wedding with the other young women. Her mother had been with her as Ashley selected and was fitted for the wedding gown, as Ashley met with a wedding planner and worked out the details of the wedding and reception, and she even met Ashley and Jason for lunch several times as he and Mary got to know one another. It had rained the night before, and there were still little pockets of drizzle during the morning of the wedding and reception. The weather did not dampen anyone's spirits as Ashley and the others had heard the weather forecast and hoped it was correct that the rain would soon stop, and perhaps at worst it would just be cloudy for the afternoon. The young women finished their initial preparations and drove to the church where the wedding would take place, brought in the dresses into which they would change into, and finished working on their makeup and getting themselves ready. Besides Ashley and the church assigned wedding coordinator who assisted where she could, in the changing room were the two bridesmaids, Bailey and Deirdre, and Lauren as maid of honor. Cassandra was also there as Ashley had asked her to assist in several ways, and who had been to all the events leading up to the wedding. Josie had moved away, going stealth and had left no further information. "I really wish Mom and Dad could be here," Ashley said to Bailey as they as well as Lauren and Deirdre finished getting dressed and themselves ready in the side room of the church. Harper had agreed to be in the wedding party, although he hadn't fully given Ashley his acceptance of her. She was just happy he was there along with Bailey and Logan. "I know, Sis. But you have me, Logan and Harper here, besides our relatives and Mom and Dad's friends and all your and Jason's friends and his family. And Mom has helped where she could." "Yes, but to tell the truth, I had imagined it with both of them here, besides you four. It's just the biggest day of my life. So far, anyway. I have so wanted it to be very special." "So far, you have to admit, it is. And besides, you do have your boss to walk you down. I've always thought it was great of him that he hired you, knowing about you and that you think so much of him to have asked him. Meeting him and your co-workers, I wouldn't be surprised that he thinks of you all as his daughters, or maybe favorite nieces." Lauren added, "I think it's so sweet that you asked him and he accepted. From what I've seen of him today, he looks like he's in heaven." At that moment there was a knock on the door, and when Deirdre answered it, to the surprise of Bailey and especially Ashley, it was their mother, and she was wearing a very attractive dark lavender dress appropriate for a bride's mother, which fit in with the colors Ashley had selected for the wedding, which included the brides-maid's dresses. "Hello, Ashley, Bailey. I hope I'm not too late!" she said as she opened her arms. Ashley rushed to her waiting arms and said, "Mom! I'm so glad you're here. Can you...stay for the ceremony?" They hugged as her mother replied, "Yes, dear, I'm staying. There was no way I was going to miss any of my children's weddings." "How did you persuade Dad? I remember him saying he forbade you to attend." "Yes he did, but I told him in no uncertain terms that I was going and there was no stopping me. We had a big fight, but I wore him down and I made him drive me here." "Is he going to be here?" Ashley said, hoping but believing it to be rather vainly. "No, darling, I'm afraid not. He said as he let me out in front that he would not come anywhere near you. I wasn't really sure he would let me out of the car, but as we drove by, Harper was standing on the curb, and he motioned for Frank to stop, which surprised me a little that Frank did. Then Harper helped me out of the car and told me to go right inside. Once inside, I saw Logan, he was talking to Jason. Oh, Jason looks so handsome. Anyway, Logan directed me here to see you, and here I am." "Mom? I love you so much right now. I mean just as much as I've always loved you, but having you here on this day, means the world to me. Thank you, thank you," Ashley said as tears were streaming down her cheeks as they hugged again. Bailey came up and said, "Here you go, Sis. We can't have tears messing up your makeup, and anyway you'll have to save them for the wedding itself." She handed her sister several tissues. "Thanks, it's just...I'm just so happy right now." Bailey replied, "Well, we still have a few more minutes, so let's make sure you still look just as beautiful as you can be." Looking at her daughter up and down in her white wedding dress, chapel train, and all, Mary said, "You do look absolutely beautiful, Ashley, as do the rest of you all. I'm so proud to be the mother of the bride and see my daughter on her big day and be a part of it." She turned to Bailey and said, "And, my other darling daughter, if you do get married, either to Lucas or you find another who loves you back as much as you love him, like Ashley and Jason do, I'll be right there to help you with your wedding any way I can." "I know, Mom. And if someone asks me, you'll be the next to know. And then Ashley here. Although she may suspect before any guy does pop the question. I have no doubt that as close as we are now, that she may even know it's going to happen before I do." She giggled a little which Ashley gave a grin in return. At that moment, there was another knock on the door. Logan peered in the door, saying, "Mom? We're about ready to seat you, Mother of the Bride. Are you ready?" "Yes I am dear," she replied as she again looked Ashley over, smoothing some of the dress lines, fluffing out the chapel train a little. She then leaned over and kissed Ashley on the cheek saying, "You're the most beautiful bride I've ever seen. This is your day to share the beautiful woman that's both what others can see and more importantly what's inside of you, with all your friends, and family and with Jason. I love you, Ashley, and I'm so proud to be your mother." "Thanks, Mom. I love you too. I'll see you in a little while." Every last word her mother told her, brought Ashley a little more joy, about herself, the day, and her life with Jason going forward. Mary left with Logan, while the young women in the room, with help from Cassandra and even the coordinator, looked each other over, made slight adjustments to their own and each other's dresses, and then, along with the coordinator, walked around to the church narthex coming in a side door. Cassandra left them to be seated and an usher escorted her down a side aisle to the row right behind Ashley's mother, and Bailey's son, as she would be a reader during the ceremony. The earlier rain had now completely stopped with the day still cloudy, but looking like it might break up. As they came to a side door, Ashley smiled as the clouds did appear to be breaking up. She barely noticed that there was a car parked out in front with someone in it, and two people standing next to it. One looked a little like Harper, who was holding a box, the other she couldn't quite see but it wasn't Logan. She thought it was most likely Jason's brother. She decided it was probably some late arrival which if it was, both young men would easily take care of it. Her thoughts quickly returned to focusing on what was to happen. As they came inside and up to the entrance to the main sanctuary, Ashley glanced in and saw that sunlight was now beginning to occasionally stream in through the windows. The rain before and now the clouds, both as predicted, were moving out and it was slowly becoming a gloriously beautiful afternoon. Paul Relsly was waiting for them, looking very distinguished in a tuxedo, as he said, "Ashley, you look absolutely gorgeous. And you other young women look just as beautiful." "Thank you, Mr. Relsly, and thank you again so much for being here to walk me down the aisle. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." "I'm happy to do it, Ashley. You, and you two others," he gestured to Lauren and Deirdre, "as well as the other young women here today who work for me, are such wonderful workers and employees. I'm honored just to be working with all of you, that anything I can do for any of you, I'd have no problem. Having met Jason before and now again a few moments ago, I am very impressed with him, I think he'll make a wonderful helpmate to you. And I told him that he is a very lucky young man to be getting someone as special as you, Ashley, to be that helpmate to him." Ashley again was close to tears at this voluntary affirmation, and both Bailey and Lauren were there with tissues. The coordinator motioned that the processional was just about to start and had the young women line up, Bailey first, then Deirdre and then Lauren, followed by Mr. Relsly with Ashley on his arm. This was also the expected time for the groom and his attendants to enter from a side door up near the front of the main sanctuary. At that moment, to the surprise of everyone in the Narthex, both Jason - the groom - and Harper quickly came in through the front door and rushed to a side aisle, with each glancing at Ashley and both giving her a nod and a thumb's up. They very quickly hurried up the side aisle, hastily joined Logan, the best man and the other groomsman in front all who had come out from the side room. Ashley and Bailey looked at one another with questioning looks and shrugs, not exactly knowing what was going on, but since everyone appeared to be accounted for, they lined up accordingly and, as the music started for the entrance of the bridesmaids, and with the coordinator motioning, Bailey went in first. Up front, Jason was now where he should be, waiting for his bride to come down the aisle, with his closest friend as best man, and his brother as the next groomsman followed by Logan and Harper. Since there were five of them and only four young women, the plan was for Harper to wait by the pew to escort their mother back down the aisle along with Mr. Relsly after the wedding party had exited. As Deirdre entered the main sanctuary, there was a sound behind them from the front door area. Ashley could only glance back for a brief moment to see who was there. It appeared to be her father, Frank, who had just entered wearing what looked like a dress white shirt and dark pants and carrying something over his arm. Ashley was in a little shock at this, and wasn't sure what to do as she turned away from him, not wanting any image of him to intrude on her hopes for the day. She could only pray that he wasn't there to disrupt the wedding in any way. Mr. Relsly looked at Ashley, with sort of a questioning shrug, and Ashley quietly whispered, "That's my father." Mr. Relsly looked at her and then back in the direction of Frank, nodded to Ashley and excused himself to go over to talk to him. Ashley hoped, for all she could, that Mr. Relsly would be able to handle any issue and that her father wasn't there to cause problems or create that issue. She remembered some of the terrible words he used the last time she saw him. This day had gone so perfect up until now, and she thought for a long moment, that this may cause all sorts of problems and possibly even ruin the day. She felt he was fully capable of doing just that. The coordinator motioned for Lauren to enter and then nodded to Ashley to come up to the doorway to wait for her entrance. Ashley was now concerned that Mr. Relsly was not at her side. She hoped that he would somehow get her father to just stay there or have him silently slip in one of the side aisles and take a seat way in the back, or even leave if he wasn't going to be decent. However, now almost expecting the worst, Ashley walked up to her spot as the coordinator turned back, apparently to Ashley's thoughts to get Mr. Relsly to come up and stand next to her so he could walk her down the aisle. Standing at the entrance, she took in all the people in attendance, Lauren walking down the aisle, Deirdre almost to the front, Bailey standing up there looking on with a huge smile. They all looked so lovely to Ashley. The flower arrangements up front and at the end of each pew were spectacular. The sun's rays were now coming through the stained glass windows and lighting up the entire sanctuary. For a moment, she thought it was almost magical looking. Both sides of the center aisle had a number of people in the pews and to Ashley's somewhat amazement, there were more on her side than she ever thought might show up. She had seen the responses, but the thought came that maybe they were just being polite, and when the day came, they would back out. Besides her mother, a friend of Bailey's watching Jared (who was still too young to be a ring bearer), the other young women from the office, there were a number of cousins and other relatives as well as friends of her parents. She was sure they all knew about her, and that they were there and obviously accepting her, just amazed her. Many of these were people who knew Ash for most his growing up years and now they were here to celebrate the wedding of the young woman Ashley had become, and that again caused some tears to come. The coordinator was ready with more tissues, as the wedding march itself began and everyone stood and, turning slightly, glanced back at her. Ashley no longer cared what her father might do to cause any problems. She was a young woman now, getting married and this was her day, a day becoming most special, and anything her father might try to do would only reflect badly on him. She was now as confident of what she was doing and who she was as she had ever been, and most importantly, she knew within her heart that there was a young man down at the end of the aisle with whom she was deeply in love, and everything he had said and done and been had shown her to her very core, that he was just as deeply in love with her. She couldn't wait to be at his side, now and for many years to come. The coordinator motioned that she was to enter, and at that moment, someone came up next to her and took her left arm and very tentatively put it in his right. Ashley glanced to her left, and to her shock and slowly growing joy, there was her father, wearing a tuxedo, with an apologetic look, ready, it now seemed, to escort his daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. He whispered, "I am so sorry, Ashley. I was so very wrong about you, about everything. I just met Jason, I don't think I've ever met a better man, one I'd be proud to call my son in law. Please forgive me, if you can." He looked at her arm in his and continued, "Is it all right?" Not quite sure what to do, but glancing forward for a moment, she noticed that Harper was up there nodding with a smile to her. She then looked at Jason, and he also gave her a bigger nod. Beginning to understand what may have taken place, she then smiled and nodded back at both of them, understanding that not only did Harper now fully accept her as his sister, which made her very happy, but that the love of her life had helped make this day, her day, even more special, if it could ever be, than it already was. And she also understood exactly what her father was giving to her as well as was asking for, something she had been longing to receive as well as return, so that they could finally accept one another and maybe even have the kind of father-daughter relationship for which she had so ardently hoped. She then glanced back and saw Mr. Relsly also nodding at her with a huge grin on his face, as she now recognized what he had done and she mouthed out a 'thank you.' With that, his grin got bigger if possible as he turned to a side door to duck in and sit down. She was now as ready as she could possibly imagine to take that first step as she then smiled at her father. Leaning over and up, she kissed him lightly on his cheek, saying, "Yes, Dad, I absolutely do forgive you. It's all so very right, now. I love you, and you're here, it's wonderful." He whispered, "As I...have always loved you, my beautiful daughter." She saw that just like she, he also had a few tears as he firmed up his hold on her arm and momentarily reached over with his other hand, touching her arm with a pat. The coordinator who had stood patiently by as she saw what was going on, finally motioned to Ashley that they should start. This was Ashley's wedding day, a day she had once thought impossible yet one that had been there in her imagination and daydreams as Ash had grown up. The impossible was now happening, and as Ashley walked down the aisle, her father at her side, she understood that this was a beginning again to a new life, not only for her and soon to be husband but for her and her father, and like the previous beginnings, it was the one she chose, because it was her life, Ashley Miller, very soon now to be Mrs. Jason Walker. And if there was anyone more ready to take on that new life, Ashley couldn't imagine, as her gaze was now fixed on man she loved, who in moments would be joined with her as husband and wife. The End Epilog: The marriage lasted only a few years as Ashley and Jason quickly grew to hate one another. Ashley took up work in the sex industry and became a famous video star and for a moment had more twitter followers than anyone else...WAIT! No, NONE of that happened. The applause at the conclusion of the ceremony as Ashley and Jason kissed was greater than anything Ashley had expected, as were the congratulations at the reception. As a late wedding present, Frank paid for or reimbursed a lot of the wedding costs that Ashley and Jason had taken on, which greatly helped the newly married couple. Ashley and Jason remained married and deeply in love for the rest of their lives. They adopted two children whom they also loved and cherished dearly. Ashley continued working at Johnston Industries for a number of years, first taking over as office manager when Deirdre left, taking leave twice for the adoptions, and eventually being promoted into other divisions with increasing responsibility. She passed Mr. Austin on occasion in a hall way, but they basically avoided one another and were only curtly polite which lasted until he left to become President of another smaller company. There were always rumors going on about him, but nothing that could be substantiated. He left that company after several years over accusations of fraud and malfeasance, although he was never charged. Mr. Relsly eventually became an Assistant Vice President. Ashley, Lauren, and Cassandra remained friends, with Ashley a part of Lauren's wedding. Ashley remained in touch with Deirdre after she moved away. Bailey did marry and had a small ceremony, with Ashley standing up for her. Harper married, and like Logan before, later had several kids. At his wedding, Ashley was responsible for the guest book and she got along quite well with her new sister-in-law as well as with Logan, Annie and their family. Mary felt blessed by having all these grandchildren she could dote on. Frank fully accepted that he now had two sons and two daughters and besides being a good grandfather, would brag on Ashley as much as he was doing for his other three. Ashley's life was as full as she had ever dreamed. Notes: I am indebted to Meowwithme, an artist on TGComics, who's illustration "Job Interview" inspired this story. I thought about the very short sequence shown and as I usually do, wondered, 'How did she get there? What is she going to do now?' I'm always thinking about motivation, why do people do what they do? And what happens as a result, to themselves, and to others. There never really is no one answer, the above story is just one of many possibilities to address that.