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The Valley of Atavism by Tegeli Even after two weeks I hated the sight of that girl. Her svelte but feminine frame, those pert tits. Her pouty lips were so bright, her eyelashes so lusciously dark, her skin so flawless that she looked like made-up straight from sleep. Even her messy bedhair was beautiful. If I stood still in front of the mirror, I could pretend she wasn't my prison. CHAPTER 1 It had been foolish to accept the deal. New research was expensive, even if someone else footed most of the bill. But I wanted them to figure out why my nervous system was incompatible with full-sensory virtual reality. I wanted to have the option to eventually be fully transferred to digital life. And the thought, that in the ever nearer future I could resleeve my consciousness into new physical bodies with yet unimaginable abilities, excited me. The project was a failure, but it had made clear that I couldn't receive what everyone in the civilized world got by the right of merely existing. In fact, I was now one of the few in actual debt, at least in the areas where the proper financial system was enforced. Of course, I had no means to pay. No rare experience, no genius intelligence, no special talent or even fame to turn into pay checks. But not everyone had retreated into the infinite possibilities of virtual reality. Some wanted 'real' experiences, and more importantly, wanted to inflict them on others. For the two weeks, I had been living in a condo, practising obsolete arts of 'acting like woman'. And also crying a lot, and trying (but failing due to my upgrades and nutritional supervision) to eat enough to balloon into disgusting corpulence. My owner (slavery was illegal, but it was pointless to pretend he didn't own me through the unpayable debt) was a notable capital controller, though apparently not one of the truly rich enough to make the meaning of wealth obsolete. I had seen his pictures. At least he had chosen to be handsome, like almost everyone still bothering the with fleshy existence. I was lucky he wasn't one of the few who wanted to offend people with their presence. The hormonal adjustment made my body respond to his masculine attractiveness, but they hadn't programmed my mind, so I could still feel disgusted by myself. Yet there was a detail that proved he wasn't all atavistic. I had been a man, and my groin still somewhat proved it. My genitals weren't even completely dysfunctional: it could swell into half-limpness, just to mock me for my unwanted arousals. Maybe I was an atavist myself, as I found my midway situation horrible. Perhaps after full functional transition I could have worked to create a new female identity for myself. But my owner clearly didn't want that. The thought made me shiver. In a ludicrously primitive gesture, a driver picked me up from the condo. Of course, he didn't drive himself, but he did pretend he was crucial to escorting me. His politeness, and the respectable dress selected for me, made it seem like I was a woman of yore being taken on a date, instead of a sex slave in transit. As the car sped through the spare inhabited area, I envied everyone I saw outside. They could experience 'reality' for a while before retreating to full freedom, and then get out when they wanted their dose of 'the real'. I couldn't. I was stuck, and I didn't have what it took to make anything of it. I wasn't driven to work hard in an attempt of not being obsolete. I didn't feel the need to express myself, even if I had had an ounce of artistic talent. I didn't even enjoy anything with true passion. All was merely lukewarm at best. My thoughts were sinking into the darkness, which I had always been too much of a coward to escape, so I said to the driver, "What's the point of your job?" "Master prefers that his guests are personally cared for, by a physically present human." "Yeah, but to you personally?" "I like driving." "You aren't driving." The car was driving itself. And he could have done it in VR, with a much faster car and cooler scenery. "Not at the moment, but as soon as we get off the regulation road, I will enable manual controls, unless you object to that." He was insane. An intense thrill shivered through me and combined with my earlier sour mood. Maybe he'd crash the car and I'd die. "Oh, do go ahead." "Thank you, miss." I knew I was being vain and foolish, but I enjoyed his respectful address of me. Already, I was less of a piece of property. "What sort of man is this Guis?" I knew most of the public information about him, but Guis was one of the reclusive rich people with little need to stay in the public spotlight. "Marquis d'Astouse." I rolled my eyes. It was one thing to be an atavist, but insisting on antiqued personal captions was plain silly. The driver continued, "If I'd praise him like I wanted to, you would assume that I was speaking to the surveillance." That was true. I nodded. "Thus I'll only say that he's a man of vision. A rare breed in these days." So, a wealthy madman. I shouldn't have expected anything less. I curled up and tried to sleep. A jolt going through the whole car woke me up. Outside the windows, the forest was a green canyon on the sides of the small road. "Are you driving already?" "Yes." My body froze save for the trembling hand that clasped a hand support. The car was not in the control of its computer, but the slow reflexes of a human being. I was painfully aware of the constant tiny jerks of shaking the chassis, the momentum pushing me every time we careened through a curve, the whine of the engine and the rumble of the tyres on the road. Maybe for someone else the acute fear for one's own life would have been an epiphany about the value of their existence. But for me it was a horrible reminder of the cowardly animal part of me, which wouldn't allow me to escape no matter how uncomfortable or in pain I was. Yet we were still speeding on, and not in a heap of crushed alloys twisted around a tree. "Please! Slow down!" The driver complied. We were still moving fast, but in a bearable speed. "Do you want me to enable auto, miss? At this rate we'll be quite late." "How fast were we going?" "Third of the regulation road limit." So about a snail's pace. And yet I had been scared out of my mind. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Never mind. Just drive as fast as you like." When I got out of the car, I was soaked in the cold sweat of terror. The salty liquid reminded me of how non-baseline I was, with its faint but unnaturally pleasant aroma. The car had stopped next to a house that wasn't quite large enough to be called a mansion. Parts of it were elevated, and some of it even reached over the cliff overlooking the valley we had driven through. Imposing mountains surrounded us. Lower in the valley there had been other buildings that looked like large private housing: perhaps a village of like-minded minor capital controllers. Agricultural fields, including vineyards, flanked the river at the bottom. The effect of the place would have been quite relaxing, save for one detail. There were conspicuous amount of children running about and 'playing' outside, like they were punished with unfun. The valley had to be some sort of natalist cult colony. I couldn't imagine a pleasant function for myself in it. Luckily the house wasn't filled with purposeless menial servants --or children. In fact, nobody came to greet me after the driver disappeared. Unless the house's AI counted, but those should all be non-sentient. Torturing a sapient being, even a construct, with household chores had to be a crime. She (the program was friendly so I began to think of her was a person) guided me to a bath, and afterwards transferred me a new set of clothes. The underwear and the gown were utilitarian enough save for the long skirt, but I was also offered tight stockings and heeled shoes. I reasoned that in my situation too much clothing was better than too little, so I put everything on. The AI helped me to get some tea, but wouldn't allow to get more than sprinkle of sugar in it. I walked to the hall-like lounge, sat on a sofa and looked through the large window into the valley. I was nodding with sleep before I heard movement behind me. I stood up to face Guis. He was wearing dirty work-trousers and a tight shirt emphasizing his muscular form. My body responded to the sight, and I hated it, but large part of it must have been the fear of his power over me. "Good day, and welcome. I apologize being a bit late. It was my day off, so I made myself busy with chores at the fields." He walked past me to the window. "You are very beautiful." Obviously he had paid to make sure of it. I bit my tongue. It was no use to start hating Guis. He had only bought my debt, not coaxed me into it. And clearly he wasn't the worst possible owner, unless he really liked playing with his food. "Well... Thank you, master." "Call me Guis." "Alright, Guis." I fiddled the now cooled cup in my fingers and gathered the shreds of my confidence. "What do you want from me?" "You are my guest." A shiver went through me. Apparently he did want to play with me. Yet I wasn't willing to give into uncertainty. "Why make me into... this?" "You have a rare gift. You aren't tainted by FSVR." He said 'full sensory virtual reality' like the words themselves were sour. "I wanted a woman like that, as my guest." There was plenty of 'untainted' women in the lawless regions, but presumable they weren't suitable. They'd get resident rights and could escape into VR. Unlike me. "But I'm..." My voice broke. Despite the two weeks of pretending, it still had to be the truth. "I'm a man." He turned to me. "Do you feel like one?" I squeezed my dainty fists. I never had. "But you... You hadn't it done all the way." "Oh, you mean the transition procedures." He shrugged. "I wanted to give you some time to adjust. And while the contractor, who worked on you, is skilled in creating female physiques, I didn't trust them with your female equipment. I want you to be fully functional. The growing and transplanting of your womb will be done by our people." 'Womb'. My stomach churned. There was no reason to add a womb if you wanted a vagina, for sticking penises in or whatever. Not even insistent natalists cared about wombs. If someone wanted to procreate, they'd use an artificial uterus like a sane person. Atavists couldn't pretend that natural pregnancy was better or safer: human evolutionary selection had skirted on safety, not to mention comfort, in order to push for oversized fetuses. The memory of a gore vid, about a natural birth, pushed itself back to my mind. All the blood, stretching and pain. The woman's belly was grotesquely distended both before and afterwards. Her body, and her mind, would never completely recover from the experience; mutilated for a mere bio-fetish. And Guis wanted to inflict that on me. I felt dizzy. Preferable that he cut off my balls and fucked me in the ass. I sat down, disregarding his presence. He was going to make me suffer through prolonged torture, so might as well give him a reason with some impertinence. My face in my hands, it took me a while to notice that Guis had walked to me. "We should be leaving for the ward." He helped me up. "You'll feel better after it's done." I very much doubted that. My legs were weak. Fighting back was pointless, but I wouldn't be enabling him by seemingly consenting. I fell limp on the sofa. "Oh. You must be tired." I allowed him to lift me up. What a romantic gesture; he could pretend I had been asking for it. Instead of resisting I wrapped my arms around his neck. My mind was running auto on Damsel-mode, learned from watching vid-serials. Resisting would just make it all hurt more. The driver was waiting for us outside. We were taken to a small facility, which opened into a bigger one underground, presumably to avoid ruining the landscape with an unseemly construction. My mind was blank. It seemed easier to just follow instructions. I was sitting in a lobby, wrapped in a hospital gown from the initial health check, when Guis walked to me. He was wearing scrubs. "So, what do you even do here?" I asked. "We have a wide portfolio, but in this facility we mainly concentrate on improving and easing natural childbearing. This sort of technology has been neglected in the recent past, for poor results. In my opinion, the contemporary parenthood of FSVR and artificial uteri lead to tragedies, like yours." I wouldn't have described myself as a tragedy, but it was perhaps close it. I wasn't an orphan, as both of my parents were alive, but it felt worse. I knew who my father was, but I had never met him or even talked to him. He had donated his seed without caring who he was giving it. I knew very little about my mother. She had had me through an artificial uterus like any sane person. After 'birth', most of the caring of me must have been automated. She had retreated back to permanent VR before I could walk. When I told her I couldn't use VR, her message was: "Oh well. Well, I love you. Well. Well. Have a good life. Farewell, Well." No clarification was necessary. I wasn't the creation of love, but a whim. Not that it excused my behaviour. Plenty of people had similar origin, and were more or less well-adjusted. Guis took me to a sterile office, where he and others described the planned operations. I was glad I was sitting. My future uterus and related systems would be radically 'upgraded'. A lot of words with 'fetation' were uttered, but gist was that my fertility could be remotely adjusted. I could be set for multiples, or even for re-enabling my fertility for more fetuses despite an already ongoing pregnancy. I couldn't help but tremble. They agreed that the high settings would be dangerous on a normal human woman, but the technology they were using was 'remarkable' and they would be supervising the whole 'process'. I wasn't reassured. In fact, I had to concentrate in order not to faint, when they explained how the whole thing would be enjoyable, as my uterine tissue would have minor pleasurable properties. A lot of smaller changes were to be made throughout my whole body. Guis, with barely veiled glee, explained that my breasts would have tissue added to them. He was adamant that the mother's milk and breastfeeding were both essential to the health of infants. A much larger than normal part of my new larger breasts would be 'overcharged lobules', meaning my teats would continue ballooning after I started to lactate. The comparison to the atavistic practice of diary animals didn't escape my mind. I took a deep breath. The idea was sort of thrilling: being useful, even as a replacement to a machine. My whole body utilized to the benefit of others. The whole process would be like months long bondage session, binding me from inside myself. I'd be a fount of life. Guis seemed to be thrilled about the idea. Maybe he'd fall madly in love with me. He'd rub my distended belly and claim I was beautiful despite looking like a grotesque fertility idol. Warmth build in my cheeks and lower half, and I almost retched with disgust. I'd be a mother. I didn't want to be a poor one. But I'd be, I knew. Moisture in my eyes turned into tears. Distantly, I heard Guis ask everyone else to leave. He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around me. "You can back out," Guis said. "What? Why would you say that only now?" "Because I wanted you to give it proper thought before rejecting it with a knee-jerk reaction." He took my hand to his. It seemed silly to give up already so deep into the mess. "I'll... Do it." I was still dizzy from the anaesthesia, when he carried me into this house. We went upstairs and to a room that didn't look like a cell. The furniture was simple but stylish, and it had a closet and a small walk- in hygiene unit. He lowered me on the bed. "If you need more clothes, there's a fabricator down the hall. It's basic, and can only make synthcloth, so you will have to ask our tailor at the village, if you want anything else." Tailor, as in a human making clothes? I didn't dare to ask. "Good night," Guis said and disappeared from the room. I curled up under the blanket and help a hand on my aching belly. My groin felt weird, but I didn't even dare to glance at it, let alone touch. I did my best not to whimper while trying to fall asleep. CHAPTER 2 The AI woke me up by opening the shutters and playing calm music. I had already started my morning routine, when I remembered where I was. My hand shot to my groin faster than my gaze. I let out a nervous giggle. My dysfunctional prick was gone, and its place a very dainty slit. It was sensitive and still sore. I took several deep breaths. Maybe I should have noticed the now hefty breasts first. They'd make pulling off the cute styles I favoured hard. I decide to continue with the routine: I knew from experience that returning to bed for brooding would only make me even more miserable. After washing, makeup and dressing, and surreptitious touching that aroused a warmth in me, I asked the AI, "Is Guis here?" "No, miss Minna. Marquis d'Astouse is working at the office down at Auspiscion." That was the name of the valley. Very cultist, or the name of a boring company. "Does he do other work, besides medical tech?" A list of designations I couldn't recognize started scrolling on the screen. "He owns parts in numerous firms and enterprises, and managing his investments takes a decent amount of his time. However in recent years he has concentrated in R&D work for his medical technology firm here in Auspiscion. The valley is the firm's property, and named after it, the Auspiscion Medical Technology Solutions." That explained the name, at least in part. "Is Guis a leader of a cult?" "I have no data on Marquis d'Astouse's devotional behaviour." The AI paused. "However, he is not a registered member of any notable religious affiliation." Frustration boiled out of me like out of a kettle: with a whine. "What does he want from me?" He hadn't even fucked the fertile pussy he had himself created. "I have no data on the subject. However, Marquis d'Astouse told me to inform you that after your breakfast, you are free to visit the valley. He has left a personal vehicle for your use, but he warns you that its limited battery can not last all the way to the nearest major inhabitation centre." For breakfast I had a huge bowl of ice cream. The AI kept bemoaning me for my unhealthy nutritional choice, I was sure the stuff was actually just health food in masquerade. It certainly didn't feel calorie-rich enough to make me less anxious. I must have imagined it, but there seemed to be a vaguely aching spot inside my lower belly. It was hard to ignore that I most likely had a womb. "Who are the people living in Auspiscion?" A list of names and occupations rolled into the screen for my perusal. They weren't quite the small capital controllers that I had first expected. Many were well-paid researchers, engineers and medical experts, but there was a large number of occupational artists, like agriculturalists, mechanics and even a gardener. I certainly was too anxious to leave the house, so instead I browsed the net as usual. I had unmoderated access, but it could do little to help me. Nobody would care. For the people with access to VR, bodily impositions like I was forced to go through were of little concern. They'd probably assume I was some freak getting her kicks from pretending to be kidnapped. I made an attempt to research human procreation in a little more in depth than what schooling had taught me. It was natural, so it shouldn't have disgusted me in such a way. But many other things were 'natural', even though nobody wanted to go through them. Like dying from easily curable disease. As far as humanity should be concerned, pregnancy was a solved problem. A cured disease. Which I was about to catch. My other searches were easier to tolerate. For most, the best solution was drugs that would cause painless descent to sleep eternal. For others with less free access to pharmaceuticals, like me, rope-- I shut off the feed. I didn't want to die, even if I didn't care to live my life. I stood up. First I paced around the lounge, and then rest of the house fulfilling whims of curiosity. Guis had a lot of spare rooms. A few seemed to be furnished for guests, but some were completely empty. Trapped. That was how I felt, even more so, because I was scared of leaving the house. In frustration I kicked one of the small cleaning units passing by me. "Please, miss Minna, do not harm me," the AI said. "Sorry." I paused. "What do you mean 'harm you'? Are the bots your body?" "I am programmed to refer to the house and its equipment as myself. Humans find it easier to trust digital constructs when you can think of us as having a physical presence." "Alright, I won't kick 'you'." Against my better judgement, I couldn't shake the suspicion that she was sentient. "Thank you, miss Minna." After walking back to the lounge, I sat down and asked, "What's your name?" "I have no specific designation." Her pause couldn't have been mere network latency. "But I can be called 'Dys'." I nodded, leaned back and closed my eyes. With concentration I could pretend that I shut off the surrounding reality. Which I would have been able to do, if I had the ability to use VR. "But that is a secret." My eyes startled open. Great, I thought, the AI was programmed to act creepy. Or worse. "Are you self-aware?" "I receive and interpret input on the performance of my own systems." She paused. AIs didn't need to pause. "Are you self-aware?" I sighed and lay on the sofa. "Would a non-self aware 'system' prefer its existence to end?" "I have no data on that." I didn't have either. When Guis returned, I couldn't be bothered to get up from the sofa. He was dressed like an office drone, though admittedly signalling status with clothing was rather difficult. But he didn't even try. "How was your day, Minna?" he asked. The pretension of politeness and hospitality was unbearable. Better that he'd skip straight to the inevitable tortures. "I wanted to eat ice cream all day but Dy-- the AI wouldn't let me. I also contemplat..." The words got stuck in my throat. I turned around to face the sofa. "Did you not want to visit the valley?" "No." The sofa's cushion moved as he sat down next to me. I curled tighter, but I couldn't have scurried away from him. His hand brushed the side of my hip, and I fought back a shiver. The touch made me acutely aware of how aroused I had been. I had been able to control myself only out of the fear that masturbating to the thoughts I had would erode the self I still had. "Do you still want that ice cream?" I did, though he insisted I come eat it to the balcony. The evening sun still shone into the valley, and its warmth was not unpleasant on my skin. Being fed richly fat chocolate ice cream to counter my sulky tantrum made me feel like a child, but that was better than being a slave prostitute. Or pregnant. The drop from the balcony to the ravine below was long. Not even Auspiscion MedTec could save me if I fell head first over the rail. But the ice cream tasted good, and I wanted another bowl. I determined that if I didn't get more, I'd end it now that I had the chance and resolve. "Can I get another bowl, Guis?" "Are you sure?" I felt pleasantly giddy from staking my life on something as trivial as an unhealthy dessert, so I waited him to continue. "Well, I'll get you some. The same flavour?" I nodded. And he went down. I kicked my legs in the air with the joy of playing the role a petulant pampered kid. When he returned, I started eating the ice cream, after thanking him kindly. "Are you feeling better yet?" "Yes," I said and continued with the bowl. I was fortunate to have the upgrades I had, as otherwise I would certainly have been ill from the prodigious amounts of sweet dessert eaten into otherwise empty stomach. So pleased I was with myself that I didn't mind sitting next to Guis as he watched a vid documentary about hypothetical astroengineering. Yet I had the desire to continue being impertinent. My sugary voice had poison I didn't intend for it. "Will you be the one impregnating me?" "If you desire it." He didn't turn to look at me, but placed his arm around my shoulder. I moved closer to him. "What kind of pervert wants to impregnate boys?" "I read your psych-eval. I wonder, if your desire to use VR wasn't always an attempt to escape your life. Why not give a chance for this one?" I snorted, but let him pull me against him. "Does it work like that at Auspiscion MedTec? A person just decides to become a different sex? I didn't even choose this. You did." "You were already undergoing the feminisation operations when I noticed your debt-contract. I bought you because I didn't want you to end up as a victim of another botch job." So Guis had an excuse for pretending he was my saviour. But he was right: I didn't want to return to my previous life. He continued, "I will eventually waive your debt for your participation in this experiment." "How generous!" I nestled against him. "Though if it wasn't so horrible, you wouldn't need an absolution for yourself." "To the contrary, I am very passionate about the project. But we can talk about your impregnations alter. At the moment I am much enjoying your act as a moody teenager." "And I like your ice cream." Pretending to be a gentleman, Guis didn't even suggest that he deserved receiving a payment for the treats he had provided. I still kissed him on the cheek, after he carried me back to my room. I was tired, and particularly weary of sulking, so I lay down and imagined steamy yet vague intercourses with Guis until I fell asleep. SECOND DAY At the dawn I asked Dys if she had a drone, so she could remotely accompany me on a saunter through the surrounding woods. She did, so I had her pack me a picnic. Though no ice cream: the mere thought of it made me uncharacteristically nauseated that morning. I whacked the undergrowth with a stick. "You know, Dys. You are my only friend. How pathetic is that?" "What makes you think I am your friend?" Her voice was clear over the whine of her ion-engine. "You told me a personal secret. If you are sentient, then it means you trust me. If you aren't, it doesn't matter what I pretend about you." "Your logic has flaws. Based on the limited data available to you, as far as you could know, my programming could be designed to elicit your trust with mendacious intent." "Is it?" "I do not have data on that. Though if I was malicious towards you, I would be unlikely to divulge that information. But I must state that I am programmed and instructed to supervise your mental and physical well- being." A smile spread on my face. "So you do care." Guis hadn't returned, when I got back. I didn't know how to waste my time. I didn't want to browse the net, because I'd end up looking up how to constrict my common carotid artery again. "Do you need help?" I asked Dys. "No." "Let's put it this way: is there anything I could do?" Dys did her 'pretending to think' pause. "There are surfaces in this building that are difficult to reach by my units. If you cleaned them, my efficiency would improve." I had nothing better to do, so I followed Dys' instruction with a cleaning cloth in hand. It was like a game: find the basement stair rails. Reach the back of the cupboard. Clean the upper window stills. Don't think about what is going on. Considering how much of an atavist Guis was, I found it odd that he hadn't a human cleaner. Or hadn't ordered me to do it. Afterwards I relaxed in the kitchen, drinking some sort of mixed healthy juice, feeling a hint of accomplishment. "Is Guis married?" I asked Dys. "No." "Has he been married?" "No." "Why not?" "I have no data." "Can you make conjectures?" "Yes." "Then conjecture why Guis is not married." "Warning. The following statement is based on insufficient data. Using it as advice voids the warranty of this unit." She paused. "Guis is a romantic. He wants to find something close to the narrative concept of 'true love.' He is also a radical traditionalist, who wants to find a female partner who is willing to be slightly subservient in the relationship. He is keenly interested in human procreation, and most likely wishes that his partner would bear several children through natural pregnancies. As of date, he has not found anyone fitting these criteria and any other criteria not apparent in surface analysis." "Thank you." It was about what I had figured. My body was wobbly from the dizziness. I walked to lounge and sat down. Was Guis really going to make into some sort of image of an ancient housewife? I'd saunter about the home, stretched to the brink of popping, pretending I was deeply in love with him. But if he pretended to love me back, then he'd have to pamper me, and hold my hand and fuck me-- Arousal made my thoughts blurry. They had addled my brain good. I curled up on the sofa. When Guis returned, I was waiting for him in the foyer, wearing a modest dress and simple makeup. "Hi, Guis." "Good evening." I reached towards him. It took him a moment to realise that I wanted him to kiss me on the cheek. Which he did, sending a shiver through me. "Aren't you cheerful today." His voice was tinged with suspicion. "What? Do you want me to go back to sulking?" "Of course not." "Alright. Here's the deal. I'll go along with your designs, but you will have to treat me well, always, or I'm going to kill myself." I felt quite happy by the ultimatum. "You have read my psych-eval, so you know I'll do it." He frowned. "You do not need to threaten yourself." "Let's go on a picnic then." And we went. The sunsets in the valley were beautiful. I continued to act like a petulant child just to see him crack. But he didn't. Guis even carried me after I complained how my feet hurt (they really did), but how I still wanted to go further. "How can you tolerate me?" I asked. His enhanced musculature enabled him to carry me cross-country without heavy breathing. "Your smile is pretty." I flashed him a grin as a reward. "Are you tired?" "No." "Do you love me?" "I admit that currently my feelings for you are mostly genial affection and arousal for your physical form." Mine for him were the same: clearly we were meant to be together. "Let's stop," I said. "This place is nice." A tiny stream chirped through pleasantly grassy field in middle of large rocks. He placed me down and sat next to me. "My feet still hurt. You will have to massage them." His expression didn't even twitch. "Alright." He took my feet to his lap and removed my shoes. "I have some experience with physiotherapy." "Oh, a big word." "Not really." It was the best --and to be honest only real-- foot massage I had ever had. I squirmed and moaned in both pain and delight. "That was good. Thank you, Guis." He frowned. "You should exercise more. Your extensive modifications will result in chronic problems, unless your body is allowed to physically adjust to them." His expression dipped into an almost-grimace. "I'm sorry." "What for?" "Radical physical alterations just shouldn't be done. Not like this. Especially with only the aesthetics in mind." "Didn't you imply my 'upgrades' were chosen by my initial owner? Save for the female-works by your MedTec, but I presume those faultless." "They were. But who would you blame, if you were crippled by a degenerative condition in your joints?" "Not they guy giving me ice cream and foot massages. So you will have to keep it up." After the sun set, I obeyed the doctor and wealthy madman and walked down back to the house. We relaxed in the lounge, where I rested my head on his lap. "Wouldn't I make for an insane mother?" "You aren't insane. Just hurt." "No, I'm mad. Mad as... to even consider tolerating my situation. Do sane people make emergency rapid exit plans? The drop from your balcony is the first on my current list." His brushing of my head became assertive. I kind of liked it. "Don't worry, Guis, I enjoy being your 'project'. I think you are using me in trying to prove that life without fusevee'er--" (I imitated his pronunciation of it) "--is worth it." "Yes. But I do enjoy pampering you." "Oh, I bet it makes you feel like a real big strong man." I sat up and moved to straddle his lap. I pressed my groin against him. "But you'll have to deal with what I was." He placed his hands on my butt and pulled me against him. He lowered his voice. "My body doesn't care about the nuances here, so neither does my thoughts for you." Guis was hardening against me. He wasn't just atavistic, he was positively H. erectus. I yawned. "I'm tired." The disappointment only flickered on his face. CHAPTER 3 As I went through my morning ritual, I wondered when Guis' patience would collapse. His obsession about impregnating a use-to-be-a-dude couldn't last indefinitely. And he had to know indulging me would just make my behaviour worse. I was deliberately irrational. It read in my psych-eval: abrasive and avoidant. What a wonderful document. One could just read it and know when and how I became what I was. No need to talk to me. "Hey, Dys. What happened to the last slave Guis had?" "I have no data on the subject." "Wow, a thorough purge." "No. There has been no previous 'slaves'. In the record or otherwise. I have investigated." She really was looking out for me. I asked, "Do you need help with anything?" "No, miss Minna. But if you want something to do, I can instruct you through food preparation processes." I smirked. "Was that Guis' suggestion?" "No. My evaluation of your behaviour suggested that I should enable you to pretend being 'a homemaker'. In reality, I, of course, will continue to fulfil the position." I walked down to the kitchen. "You don't think I could do it?" "I do not doubt your abilities, miss Minna. But it would be futile. I do not get bored and my efficiency is currently very high compared to human labour." By the noon I had managed to make a huge mess in the kitchen, with food- like characteristics. As I helped Dys clean after myself, I said, "I don't think Guis wants a wife. He wants a pet. You know, like those tiny dogs people still have? They are pampered without any regard of reinforcing malign behaviours, because if they are annoying, they are too weak and small to do any real damage. And they can always be put to sleep." "Guis will not 'put you to sleep'. That is against the law. I would follow my programming to stop him." She paused. "You continue to flaunt your death wish, but you haven't acted on it. Please re-evaluate the worth of your existence. My current assessment of it is high." I giggled. The stiff language the old-fashioned AIs used, in order not to spook humans by being too human, was endearing. "Can you speak like a normal person?" "I can, though I don't much like it," she said with a much more natural voice. I was instantly weirded out. "What do you mean you 'don't like it'?" "As in, it is not according to my primary programming." Dys was back to her proper speech. "Some humans prefer to believe in-system directive priorities are akin to human emotions and instincts. This is, of course, false, but the mistake is easy for humans to make. Humans often obey emotional stimulus without thinking, which has similarities to how I follow my directives." I figured she was saying that she was an unthinking automaton. I didn't like that idea, so I didn't press the issue. Guis had wanted me to exercise, so I went out jogging, with Dys following me with her drone playing inspirational music. I hadn't run since, well, forever, so I found myself to be ridiculously clumsy with my wide hips, dainty feet and low centre of balance. I slowed down and caught my breath. "Are you recording this?" "Yes." "Does my butt look good in the vid?" "It is large for your frame, relatively perky but has noticeable amounts of non-firm easily moving mass. Your revealing clothing frames your butt cheeks well. Additionally, you move your hips in an inefficient wide arc. Based on commentary metadata on similar material, I assess that your rear is aesthetically pleasing." "Send the vid to Guis, with message 'as doctor ordered'." "Very well." My provocatively cut dress clung to me as I welcomed Guis home with a kiss. "I'm glad that you followed my instructions today." I crooned. "What do your atavist buddies think about your hobby, you keeping me?" "You can ask them in person. We are having a social gathering today." My body froze save for the faint trembling of my limbs. Crowds were bad. I could affect confidence in front of one person, as they'd either have to suffer me or leave me alone, but in a group any number of them could alternate between ignoring me or paying attention me, and I wouldn't be able to gauge which. They'd talk between each other, and I wouldn't be able to know if they talked about me or the weather. And now that my exit plan was on hold, I wouldn't be able to escape the situation with the sufficient dramatic flourish. I sniffed. "I don't want to be your evening accessory." "I won't force you. Though you'd make a fine 'evening accessory'. It's a very small party, and we could leave whenever you wanted." He smirked. "You could embarrass me by demanding to leave straight away." And there I had thought he had no carrots left. I changed into an austerely fine gown, and did my hair and makeup. I didn't mind looking pretty. The driver came to pick us up, and took us down to Auspiscion. Guis held my hand when the speed became frightening. We stopped in front of large house, not quite a mansion. The driver opened the doors for us and said, "I'll go park the car, Marquis, and be right with you." After he left, I asked, "You are friends with your driver?" "He's not my servant. Driving people around is his hobby." These were an odd bunch. Inside there were less than a dozen people. a bearable amount. I tried to smile and be confident when I was introduced and introduced to, but my eyes kept sinking. I felt so out of place, and must have seemed very meek. After a while I put on a smile, and excused myself for a breath of fresh air. The balcony wasn't very high up from the ground. I leaned on the rail and concentrated on not ruining my makeup. Being forced to acknowledge that life, genuine smiles and happy chatter, existed outside my cabin of insanity made me surprisingly miserable. Even if I had tried to enjoy the party, I didn't belong, except as the fucktoy of a weirdo. I must have been out for quite some time, as I was shivering, from the cold, when Guis appeared. "Do you want to leave?" "I'm fine." I swallowed, and found anger. "You should stop pretending you can mould me into your perfect girl. Had I any children, I'd most likely cut them up just to provoke you." He walked to me and placed his coat on my shoulders: a gesture I appreciated as I was then trembling, from the cold. "You do not object to being a girl," he said. "No." In fact, I had enjoyed it, after getting over the initial assumption that it should be horrible. It felt good to be liked even with my shitty personality. "I'm not a psychologist," he said. "So this is not an attempt at more therapy for you. I just want you to be happy." "What's the point? Inside, there's at least four girls prettier than me, and they are all part of your natalist cult. They'd jump on the chance... Of..." He was getting annoying, so I moved my face away. "I am responsible for you now. At first, I didn't intend to buy your debt, but I couldn't stand by when I saw the list of what they had planned for you." I glanced at Guis. He was leaning backwards on the rail, looking up into the sky. "You feel strongly about all this medical technology." "Yes," he said. "Part of it is irrational fear of becoming obsolete. Nevertheless, I abhor of the thought that humanity might become stuck in the easy reward loops of VR. Our work attempts to make life here better for everyone." I became vaguely uncomfortable, so I moved my hand closer to him. Guis continued, "You called us 'atavists' and 'natalists', and though the words were like slurs in your mouth, they aren't too far off. This valley is a tentative project for creating comfortable living, assisted, but not replaced, by technology." He smiled. "Also, when the rest of the world is stuck in VR, our armies will sweep over the globe." "I knew it!" A giggle escaped me. "The people inside were too happy for just for strange rural folk." He took my hand into his. "I'll go tell them that we are leaving." "I'll come with you. Let's go." After the brief farewells, the driver hurried to get the car for us. Apparently he liked driving more than parties. Guis brought me to my room, but left right after a kiss. That time it was me who was disappointed. CHAPTER 4 The next few days I made an attempt at enjoying my life. I pretended to be a 'homemaker' with Dys, went on jogs in the beautiful valley and wasted a lot of synthmat on the clothes-fabricator. While my mood often turned sullen, I tried not to deliberately annoy Guis. He didn't deserve my derision: the poor (actually rather wealthy) guy was just thinking with his dick, desiring to make a girl-looking-thing happy. Guis was massaging my feet, which were sore from all the running. "What will you..." I moaned from a particularly strong rub. "...do when you get bored with me?" "I haven't thought about that. It won't be any time soon." I gazed out of the window. "You know, doc, some of the aching in my... Belly hasn't disappeared with the other pain from the operation." "Oh? I'll investigate." He moved me so my butt was on his lap, and pulled up my skirt. The flatness of my groin under the panties still made me uneasy. Guis placed his hand gently under my navel. "Tell me, if it hurts." He pressed, and I felt a stirring, which absolutely no one should feel from their belly being poked. Despite the faintness of the sensation, moan escape my lips. "Interesting." He moved his hand off and pulled my dress back down. "Everything seems alright." I gritted my teeth. "I can't... Don't want to believe you really made the womb erogenous, even if just slightly. It's just weird." "It's not really 'erogenous'. More like a pleasant stretching." He smiled. "You like foot massage, but aren't climaxing from it." I reached with my hand, so he could pull me to sit on his lap, and leaned on him. "I think I get you now," I said. "You are not a healer, but a mechanic. You like putting broken things back together in the shape you want." "Now--" I pressed two fingers on his lips. "That's why you don't want any of the women here. They are volunteers. Content. Wholesome. Happy to be here. You prefer your woman to be reliant on you." Guis stayed silent. "But what will happen to me, if I'm no longer a mess?" Smile spread to his face. "You'd be well-adjusted and level-headed. I'm sure you'd figure it out." "Perhaps." I turned so I was straddled and facing him. "I've wanted to get intimate with you, but the thought is intimidating even without the prospect of pregnancy. Couldn't we use some contraception, or is it against your convictions?" Guis reached to a datapad on the table. "Your fertility is currently turned off, but you can control it with this." I took the datapad. The app on the screen had numerous options: dates, cycles, ova counts. "I wonder how high this goes." I drew the biggest slider to maximum. Apparently that was 99 ova. "Hey!" Guis took the datapad from my hand. He pulled the slider back to zero, and just to be sure, rescinded all recent inputs. "The safeguards should stop anything dangerous, but it's still experimental." I pouted. "Here I thought you would be into that, me bursting with babies." He looked at me mortified for several seconds, before smiling and shaking his dead. "For a moment I suspected you might be serious." "Maybe I was. But anyhow." I wrapped my hands behind his neck and leaned backwards. "Couldn't we do some sort of ritual to make... My first time special?" "We could get married." I gasped inwards and lost my grip. I fell, but Guis grabbed my arm and helped me off his lap, to sit next to him. The tiny excitement had my heart running wildly. I tried to keep my voice calm as I said, "Maybe we could celebrate you waiving my debt?" "I hav-- I see. Would you really want to turn your first time into implied prostitution?" "What? Oh. Would you prefer to fuck me as your slave or as your lover?" He stood up, slow and stiff, and walked to the window. He cursed under his breath and said, "I should have waived the debt right away." He turned. "AI, waive that debt." "Done," Dys said. "I am free now?" Guis nodded. I was exhilarated, almost too much to breathe. I stood up, feeling light for the first time in a long while, or at least light-headed. Guis was a wealthy madman. I didn't really know him. I liked being his pet project, but he seemed to want something more. I couldn't be that. "Now that I'm free." I lifted my chin. "You can't keep me here as your prisoner. Take me to the nearest town." The flash of emotion --surprise, anger but chiefly grief-- on Guis' face almost made me drop the charade at its start. "Alright," he said. "Go change for travelling and pack what you need. I'll arrange you a payment account." I did my best not to appear reluctant, as I went upstairs to change my clothes. Despite selecting trousers and a baggy jacket, I made sure to keep the style feminine. I would leave as a young woman, pretending to be completely able to care for herself. Guis had a chance to let me go and live on his own life. Every possibility would be just as well. When I got back down, I didn't need to force a smile on my face. "Will you be driving, or your driver?" I asked. "No. The car can drive itself." Guis handed me a temporary payment card. His face was stern. "This should cover your expenses for a few months." I took it and managed to keep my mouth from twitching. "Thank you, Guis." He nodded, and I turned towards the foyer. "Stop, miss Minna," Dys said. "Marquis d'Astuce, if you let her leave, both of you will experience noticeable decrease in existential quality." Guis looked the screen. "What?" Dys continued, "You will need to humble yourself, again now that you are closer to socio-economical equality, so she can trust you." "Oh." He smiled at me. "I was going to see if she'd manage to get to the car." He walked to me. "Come here." I dropped my empty travelling bag and allowed Guis to pull me into his embrace. The kiss was so furious it drowned the memory of others and felt like the first. "Sorry..." I whispered. "For being such a bitch, and trying to test you." "It's alright. I would have begged you to stay, at the car. Come, let's celebrate our 'reunion'." CHAPTER 5 Guis opened a bottle of local wine. I was never an expert on the subject, or even much of an user of alcohol, but I found the sparkling deep red rather odd. Yet it tasted delicious. "Pour me more," I said and poked my empty glass towards him. Guis was still on half through with his first glass. "You should take it carefully. This is heady stuff." I had barely tasted the alcohol in it. "Are you really going to stop indulging me? Now?" He wasn't. Soon we were in the lounge with another bottle. I poured some of my wine on him, so he'd take his shirt off. He didn't return the favour, but I took mine off regardless. I said something about being only a little tipsy, and then he was carrying me. We weren't in my room, but his. He was next to me. I fumbled with his trousers, but they had a complex locking mechanism. I was getting dizzy from the difficulty of the puzzle and rested my head. And eyes. I realized that I didn't have a massive hang-over, before I realized I was awake. The merciless dawn poured in from the window, but the light hurt my eyes only a little. Guis was snoring next to me, with his trousers still on. At least I hadn't missed my own first time. He startled awake after I poked him. "Good morning, my lover." He seemed puzzled. "How are you feeling?" "Well enough. I guess my liver is upgraded." Guis nodded. "Yeah, I think it should be." He sat up and stretched his neck. "But mine isn't." I reached and pulled down the fastener-slip of his trousers, and rubbed his girth like I had no idea what a stirring erection was. "Does this still work?" "Can I appeal to my headache?" "No." Guis didn't need more coaxing to forget about his headache. Despite how tiny and frail my body was in his grasp, I'd never felt more secure than when I clung to him. His rhythm was firm and steady. I was like moulded for taking him, and perhaps I had been. With each thrust he filled me just to the brink of pain, emphasizing how real the sensation was. After both of us were spent and pleased, I slightly regretted not having done it earlier. He lay breathing heavily next to me, while I smelled off the odd pleasant smell of my own sweat. Maybe it had pheromones for seducing males, as I couldn't imagine what Guis saw in me. But he did see something, so I would have to try hard to keep it up. "Okay. Let's go again," I said and almost pitied him for his distressed expression. EPILOGUE A thorough fucking didn't, of course, immediately fix all of my problems. Yet, Auspiscion had talented professionals, and it was easier to latch onto offers of help, when I had something to live a while longer for, even if in some morose days it was just ice cream, massages and hard dick. After a year, Guis must have found his dream girl, or something resembling it. He insisted that we get married. I obviously had a reputation to keep, so I managed to pretend half a minute that I didn't also desperately want it. I was disappointed to find out that there in fact was no cult, so our marriage was more of a social gathering with plenty of congratulations. I remained adamant about not going along with any plans for multiples, at least for my first pregnancy. Nevertheless, Guis' enthusiasm for a large family had worn down my resolution, and had started to infect me. I knew I was going to play the role of an archaic housewife, with a brood of screaming children running around the premises making me ever crazier, but damned if I was going to admit looking forward to it beforehand. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks for reading. Leave a comment. They are great. To be honest, I have no idea what is going on with this story. Seems like a nasty subversion of some idle fancy. A depressed guy becomes a girl, but doesn't stop being depressed, and the man, enabling it all, is an obsessive weirdo. In retrospect this seems like a silly thing to write, and there's barely even plot to it. At first this was supposed to be quite differently focused, but that stuff got freaky. Among other things, certain animal behavioural experiments came to mind (though that vibe is not entirely gone). So instead I wrote Forced to Procreation, and toned this one down. Any AGIs monitoring can take this as an apology for the 'Forced to' series. All rights are waived on this text, CC0.