This To Keep Me Quiet
By
Michele Nylons
Chapter One - It's Not Right Uncle John, For All Sorts of Reasons
Author's Note: This is a little two-part tale similar to my early
stories. It has all the trappings of a Michelle Nylons story: a little
incest, a little blackmail, a lot of sex and surprising ending. I hope
you like it.
Crystal Palace sat at the bar watching Melanie Starr singing The Crying
Game. Melanie sang it so well that the club was silent and Crystal
suspected that some of the patrons were actually tearing up. The
shocking twist in the movie of the same name was no longer a secret of
course, the movie had been released nearly a year ago but Melanie's
poignant rendition of the classic was, in Crystal's opinion anyway, as
good as the original by Dave Berry and better than the Boy George version
used in the film.
Crystal slipped off the barstool being careful not to snag her pantyhose.
The Horseshoe might resemble a fashionable nightclub in the gloom but
when the lights came on after closing time all of its cheap tacky foibles
were revealed including the odd nail-head protruding from the regularly-
repaired ancient barstools that had claimed the hosiery of many a
performer and customer alike.
She made her way through the dark club to the stage door with such
familiarity that she was able to avoid the many pitfalls such as ripped
carpets, uneven flooring and puddles of stale sticky beer that had been
the bane of many a customer. She slipped inside and carefully climbed
the four rickety stairs to the stage. The sound guy Steve was sitting at
the deck and he nodded at Crystal and handed her a cordless microphone.
Crystal remained in the wings until Melanie finished her song and
congratulated on her on her performance and gave her an air-kiss when she
came off stage, both women being careful not to smudge their makeup.
Crystal took a deep breath and stepped into the spotlight. The spotlight
followed her to centre stage accompanied by light applause from the
audience and a wolf-whistle from some larrikin.
She did look splendid in her off the shoulder red sheath, the sequins on
the bodice sparkled in the bright light; the thigh-high split displayed
her long legs, sheathed in glossy pantyhose. She wore red six-inch heels
to complement her dress, her 'stage heels' she called them because they
were too dangerous to wear around the club. Her copper-blonde hair was
perfectly coiffed and her heavy stage-makeup accented her emerald-green
eyes and sculpted cheekbones.
Standing centre-stage with her legs slightly parted and her head bowed
she waited for the intro to her song as the applause died down. Steve
cued up the track and the intro to Our Lips Are Sealed wafted through the
speakers. It was the Fun Boy Three version and Crystal sang it in her
own style, her raspy-voiced rendition pitch perfect and soulful. She
left the stage to raucous applause and more wolf-whistles and catcalls;
the crowd was getting rowdy as the night was coming to a close.
Steve the sound guy cued up Are You Gonna Go My Way and left the sound
board to play the pre-recorded compilation he'd put together over the
weekend. Performing his secondary role as cellarman, Steve went down to
the cellar to tap another keg, although Barry Culpepper the owner of The
Horseshoe Club would argue that it was Steve's primary role. The girls
could work the soundboard if they had to.
Crystal made her way backstage to the dressing room, if you could call it
that. It was a pokey dark alcove with nicotine stained walls that reeked
of years of stale cigarette smoke, beer and cheap gin. Overlaying that
was the smell of cheap perfume, makeup and hairspray. Melanie Starr sat
before the vanity table removing her makeup.
"You're not staying to mingle with the punters?" Crystal asked, slipping
off her six-inch heels and slipping her feet into the more manageable
four-inch heeled version of the same shoes.
"Not tonight love. Eddie taped East Enders and we're going to watch it
together in bed eating crisps and drinking pop," Melanie replied,
standing to slip out of her blue sequin-spangled form-fitting evening
gown. She'd already dispensed with her heels and hose and put them in a
carry bag.
"Crisps and pop... that dress won't fit you if you keep that up," Crystal
chided her, dropping her stage heels into her own carry bag.
"Fat chance of that. When we finish East Enders we work off the calories
under the covers," Melanie started to put on her street clothes.
"TMI darling," Crystal waved a hand at Melanie and went back out to the
bar.
Mingling with the customers after the show bought in a few extra much-
needed pounds. Barry paid the girls a flat rate to perform and five quid
per hour to mingle with the punters after the show. The girls also got
free drinks although they weren't supposed to, and sometimes the punters
gave them a tip. It was the girl's job was to keep the punters in the
club and get them to spend money over the bar. If a punter bought them a
drink, they pocketed that money too, splitting half with the barman.
With Melanie heading home that left Crystal, Bianca and Pamela to work
the crowd. Crystal hated schmoozing up to the punters but it came with
the job and she did like to hear the accolades regarding her performance.
Bianca and Pamela were sitting with a crowd of high-rollers who had come
into the place slumming it after a night out in the West End. Crystal
went back and perched on her favourite barstool and hoped that she would
be left alone for the rest of the night.
"Can I buy you a drink?" the baritone voice came from behind her and
Crystal turned on her stool, a forced smile on her face.
The smile froze when she saw who was addressing her. It was Alan Wright,
a co-worker at the financial institution where Crystal worked during the
day.
Alan studied her face and a spark of recognition passed across his face
and then vanished.
"Sorry. Thought I recognised you from somewhere else; anyway, can I buy
you that drink?" his face was handsome when he smiled.
The blonde wig, the heavy makeup and the poor lighting helped keep
Crystal disguised. She doubted the management at Stills and Shipley
Financial Services would condone her extracurricular activities as a
cabaret singer in a seedy nightclub.
"Yes you can. Gin and tonic please," Crystal gave him her best painted
smile.
She deliberately kept her head low and avoided making eye contact.
When the drinks came Alan put a finger under Crystal's chin and lifted
her face.
"Even in this awful light you are beautiful," he said.
Crystal blushed. She was used to being hit on; it came with the
territory, but this was different. She knew this man, even though he
didn't know who she was.
"And that song was amazing; you sing so well," Alan kept laying on the
compliments.
"I'm Alan. Alan Black," he offered his hand awkwardly.
Crystal gave him a bemused smile; she knew he was lying. He too had
secrets to keep; sneaking around sleazy cabarets late at night was not
considered de rigueur for a London banker.
Crystal took his hand but when he leaned in to kiss her cheek she pulled
away.
"I'm sorry. I'm new at this," he blushed and stammered.
"New at what?" Crystal couldn't help but be amused.
"Nightclubs. Party-girls. Late night drinking," Alan managed to smile
again.
"Are you calling me a party girl?" Crystal harried him.
"No! No! No! That's not what I meant. I meant hostess... no that
doesn't sound right either," Alan stammered and Crystal pretended to be
shocked.
"What about if you just refer to me as a performer?" Crystal came to his
rescue and smiled at him, genuinely amused at his discomfit.
She patted the stool beside her and Alan sat down. At first she had
hoped that he would just buy her a drink and move on when she showed him
disinterest, but she was amused by the fact that Alan didn't recognise
her. She was probably playing a dangerous game, she had no rights
working in a club like the Horseshoe but Alan Wright shouldn't be here
either.
When he was settled at the bar Alan seemed more relaxed, although when
Crystal caught him staring at her long legs sheathed in the glittering
stage hosiery he blushed. She smiled at him and patted his hand.
"You know most of this isn't real. Most of it is just padding, lipstick
and powder, as Dave Edmunds sang back in the seventies," Crystal took a
sip of her drink.
Alan studied Michelle's pretty face and long, pale, elegant neck; he was
fascinated by the little heart-shaped mole in the hollow.
"Well I think you look beautiful and you sing beautifully too," Alan
moved his hand to her knee.
Crystal stopped smiling and firmly removed his hand.
"Buying me a drink doesn't mean that you get to maul me," she reproached
him.
"Patting your knee is hardly mauling you," Alan baulked.
"Ok. Thanks for the drink Alan, I think I'd better get changed and go
home; I also have a day job I need to tend to," She smiled wanly at him.
Alan looked at his watch.
"Shit! Is that the time? I have to go too, I have an important meeting
first thing this morning," Alan finished his drink and stood up.
He held out his hand and Crystal took it to steady herself as she
alighted from the stool. Her long fingers were elegantly embellished by
bright-red acrylic fingernails. She stumbled a little and Alan pulled
her close to him to stop her from falling.
Her soft body pressed against his and he inhaled her perfume. He leaned
into her, his lips millimetres from hers and then he whispered in her
ear.
"Elvis Costello's version was better."
"What?" Crystal looked confused.
Alan was still holding her close.
"Girls Talk. There are some things you can't cover up with lipstick and
powder. You said it before. Dave Edmunds. But the Elvis Costello
version is better," Alan gave her one final squeeze and let her go.
"Maybe I'll come and listen to you sing again sometime," Alan smiled at
her.
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.
Crystal gave a sigh of relief when he headed to the door.
"That was close," she said to herself.
Crystal headed back to the dressing room and sat at the vanity and
removed her high heels. She carefully guided her acrylics under her wig
and prised it loose, wincing a little when patches of the glue stuck
stubbornly to her skin. She brushed out the wig and carefully arranged
it on a wig stand then she removed her wig-cap, really just the panty of
a pair of pantyhose with the legs cut off, and brushed out her hair. Her
own hair was brunette, shoulder-length, long and straight.
She used moisturiser and towelettes to wipe away her heavy makeup and
went over to the small sink to wash her face with soap and water and
dried it on the towel hanging from the rusty nail. The towel was still
damp from when Melanie had dried herself and she found a dry corner of it
to pat her face dry. She carefully removed her acrylic nails and tossed
them in the bin. She bought them in boxes of twenty sets for a quid.
Crystal sipped the gin and tonic that Alan Wright had bought her, the ice
had melted and it was insipid but she was thirsty. She struggled out of
the red sheath and noted that a couple of sequins had fallen off during
her performance; she would sew on replacements at home tomorrow. The
dress was designed so that she didn't have to wear a bra and she
carefully removed her lifelike breastforms, once again wincing when the
glue proved difficult to budge. Patience was required; the breastforms
were expensive and she didn't want to damage them.
She wiped her recently shaved chest with a flannel to remove any remnants
of the glue then she slipped out of her red satin panties and dug the hip
pads out of the panty of her dance tights. She was lucky that she had
full shapely buttocks and didn't need padding there. She shimmied out of
her flesh-toned, shiny, seventy-denier dance tights as they were
correctly called, although the generic term pantyhose was used by the
girls, and removed the surgical tape holding her genitalia in place
against her perineum. She stood up and tensed and relaxed to lower her
testes from her inguinal canals down into her scrotal sac.
Crystal put on underpants, jeans, a longsleeved stretch t-shirt and
pulled a woollen jumper over and then put on thick woollen socks and
ankle boots. She carefully put the dress in a garment bag and the wig
into a silk bag and packed everything into her ripstop carry bag. She
brushed her hair again and put on her overcoat.
Crystal looked at herself in the cracked and spotted full-length mirror.
Her transformation back into Michael Tanner was complete.
Michael picked up the garment bag and carry bag in one hand and hooked
them over his shoulder so that he had one hand free to open the door. He
left by the back exit of the club after signing out.
It had been a good night; his performances had been well received. He
was just a little disconcerted that he had ran into Alan Wright but he
was certain that Alan hadn't recognised him. He smiled wryly to himself
as he walked home in the cold and the dark. If Alan Wright had realised
that he was caressing the knee of Michael Tanner dressed in drag he would
have had a fit. He sniggered to himself as he let himself into the small
walk-up flat where he showered quickly, set the alarm and went to bed.
*****
Michael had an interest in women's clothing for as long as he could
remember. He adored the feel of silk, satin, nylon, lycra, rayon and the
tickle of lace against his body. The flick of a hem against his thighs,
the freedom he felt when wearing a skirt or dress, heels and hose were
almost indescribable. It wasn't really sexual, at least not until he
entered puberty, it felt comfortable... it just felt right.
When he was younger he had borrowed items of clothing from the laundry
basket, his sister was only a year older and her clothes fitted him.
Then his mother's clothes fitted him too as he got older and bigger. He
remained slim and svelte and grew his hair long. He was confronted by
his mother after his sister complained that her brother had been wearing
her clothes, although his mother suspected that he had been wearing her
clothes too.
Michael broke down and confessed his obsession with dressing enfemme to
her and she was as understanding as any mother could be. Her husband had
abandoned his wife, son and daughter just after Michael's birth and she
had been forced to become resilient and self-supporting.
Michael was sent to see a psychologist who diagnosed him with mild gender
identity disorder, as it was called at the time, possibly linked to the
absence of a male role model but more likely deeply rooted in his psyche.
The psychologist didn't observe any traits in Michael that indicated that
he actually wanted to physically become a woman; he didn't seem to want
to undergo gender reassignment. Michael just seemed happy to spend time
dressed as a girl. It comforted him; made him feel special.
The psychologist explained that there were thousands of men and boys who
liked to dress like a woman in the privacy of their homes and they were
not in any way abnormal, not was their crossdressing linked to any sexual
deviancy. In the nineteen eighties the spectrum of gender dysphoria
disorders, as it was coined back then, was only just being understood.
She recommended that, provided that Michael did not show any abhorrent
behaviour, he be allowed to continue to dress as a girl in private.
Obviously it was best kept a secret.
Lucy Tanner was a progressive woman who was fiercely protective of her
children and always did what she thought was best for them and allowed
them to experience the world in their own way provided they were not
doing anything illegal or dangerous. She sat down with Michael and Janet
- Michael's sister, and explained what the psychologist had said. There
were very few secrets in the Tanner household.
Michael would be allowed to dress enfemme at home and Lucy and Janet
would keep his secret. Lucy would buy him his own small wardrobe of
female attire that he could wear in the confines of his bedroom or around
the house if it was safe to do so but his secret must be kept. As
progressive as the world was in the nineteen eighties, transphobia was
still rampant.
To Michael and Lucy's surprise, Janet was supportive of her brother's
penchant for crossdressing. She not only kept his secret she actually
helped him in his quest to look as feminine as possible.
Sixteen year old Michael Tanner walked into his sister's bedroom in the
winter of 1986. He was wearing a black denim miniskirt, mauve satin
blouse with puffed sleeves and padded shoulders, sheer nude pantyhose,
and strappy four-inch heels with a small platform. He was adept at
walking in heels having been getting around in them now for over a year.
His brunette hair was cut in a shoulder-length bob which he could get
away with as being fashionable at the time. He'd had the same hairstyle
for so long that people just associated it with him as part of his style.
"I want you to show me how to wear makeup," Michael said a little sulkily
to his sister.
Janet was sitting cross-legged on her bed and she looked up from the book
she had open in her lap. Her face lit up.
"About time Michelle, you look so good when you're dressed but without
makeup you're just not finished," Janet grinned.
Michael had adopted the name Michelle when he was dressed enfemme. At
first his mother was concerned but the psychologist said that it made
sense because although his dysphoria had not progressed beyond
crossdressing Michael would want a girl's name because while he was
crossdressed he identified as female. Both Lucy and Janet were careful
not to misgender Michael or Michelle: Michael was he, him, his and
Michelle was she, her, hers.
By the time Michael turned eighteen he could pass convincingly as a
woman. His makeup skills exceeded those of his sister; he had closely
watched and mastered female mannerisms, even his voice when dressed was a
sultry sexy feminine rasp. He and Janet even put on little performances
for themselves: fashion shows and song and dance routines. Although Lucy
allowed her children latitude, she had to admit that she was little
concerned when Janet started to treat Michelle as a pet project, almost
like a younger sister. She tolerated their little dress-up performances
but she would be glad when Janet left home. She and a girlfriend had
saved enough to get their own flat.
Two thing things happened around this time that profoundly affected
Michael. One was illicit and remained a secret; the other was quite
traumatic and had a tumultuous effect on Michael and the Tanner family.
The first thing happened the day before Janet was to move out of the
family home. She and her girlfriends had a hen's night to celebrate her
last night living in the family home. Janet came home drunk and tried
her best to sneak upstairs to bed without waking her mother or her
brother.
As she passed Michael's room she saw a light under the door and feeling
playful she decided it might be fun to play a prank on her brother. She
opened the door a crack and saw that it was Michelle not Michael lying on
the bed reading. Michelle was wearing rayon babydoll pyjamas over
stockings and suspenders and was still in full makeup. She had her back
to the door and was concentrating on her magazine. The room was lit only
by the bedlamp over which was draped a red gauzy scarf which gave the
room an eerie pink glow.
Trying not to giggle Janet slipped off her heels and slipped into the
room in her stockinged feet, carefully closing the door behind her. She
tiptoed up to the edge of the bed and was about to grab Michelle by the
shoulder and shout "boo" to scare her.
But just as she was about to grab Michelle, Janet realised that Michelle
was reading a pornographic magazine and masturbating. Her long sleek-
skinned cock protruded out of baby-doll panties and she was slowly
stroking it. Janet recognised the red nylon knickers that Michelle was
rubbing on her cock. They were hers.
Michelle sensed Janet's presence either because of the smell of alcohol
or because Janet gasped when she saw what Michelle was doing. Michelle
looked horrified and threw the magazine on the floor and pulled the
covers over herself.
"Shit! I'm sorry honey," Janet whispered, careful not to speak too
loudly and wake her mother.
Michelle and Janet often used sweet terms of endearment when Michael
presented as Michelle.
"I'm sorry Janet," Michelle whimpered, she was close to crying with
embarrassment and shame.
"You have nothing to feel sorry about sweetheart. What you are doing is
natural, everybody does it," Janet said reassuringly.
"Not every boy does it dressed like girl looking at other girls dressed
in lingerie," Michelle sighed.
Janet looked at the magazine which lay open on the floor. It featured an
attractive mature woman dressed in sexy black lingerie, stockings and
high heels. She knew the magazine, Fiesta, which was a soft-core
pornographic periodical; her current boyfriend read it.
"Don't be silly Michelle. Your crossdressing has nothing to do with your
sexuality... does it?" Janet frowned.
Michelle had been adamant that she was not sexually stimulated by wearing
feminine clothing, she just felt comfortable: normal, whole, well-
adjusted, natural. These were the terms she used to describe how she
felt when dressed enfemme.
"No... not really but sometimes it feels nice when I do... you know... do
it when I'm dressed as Michelle. I like looking at women dressed like
that and I like being dressed like that when I do it," Michelle admitted,
pointing her toe at the magazine.
"Michelle... Michelle... are you a virgin?" Janet crept onto the bed and
lay on her side stroking Michelle's back and shoulders, comforting her.
"I've had girlfriends. We do stuff... you know... but no, I've never
done it," Michelle blushed and turned to face her sister.
"I see. But you like to do stuff with girls?" Janet couldn't help but be
inquisitive.
"Yeah... kiss and that. Wendy Spencer let me touch her through her
knickers and she touched me through my trousers. I was wearing panties
under them so I wouldn't let her put her hand inside because I was too
embarrassed but it felt good. Too good," Michelle blushed a deeper shade
of red.
"Too good? Did you come?" Janet whispered.
Michelle just nodded; she couldn't look her sister in the eyes.
"And did it feel good because you were wearing knickers or because Wendy
Spencer was touching you?" Janet reached out brushed Michelle's fringe
out of her eyes.
"Both really," Michelle murmured.
"Michelle? You know mom and I sometimes find stains in our knickers and
on our stockings when we do the laundry. We know what they are but we
haven't said anything because we don't want to embarrass you. But why do
you do that with our underwear; you have plenty of your own?" Janet
stroked Michelle's arm to comfort her.
Michelle's face burned crimson and she shed a tear.
"It's because... well it's because you have worn them. I do it at aunty
Joan's too when we go visiting. I go to the loo and take her knickers
out of the dirty laundry. I don't know why it feels so much better
knowing they have been worn," Michelle sighed.
"You know what you need? You need a girlfriend. She doesn't have to
know about your crossdressing but you can tell her that you like knickers
and stockings and stuff and she will probably wear them for you. Tim is
always asking me to wear stockings for him," Janet said, trying to cheer
Michelle up.
"Do you and Tim?" Janet put her hand over Michelle's mouth before she
could finish the question.
"There are some things even sisters don't share," She smiled
conspiratorially.
Michelle smiled back and Janet snuggled up to her and pulled the coverlet
over them.
"Just two girls gossiping," she snickered.
"I'm going to miss you when you move out. I love you sis," Michelle
sighed.
"I love you too sis and I love my brother when he's around too," She
kissed the tip of Michelle's nose.
Michelle put her arms around Janet and pulled her close. They often
hugged each other; the Tanners were a very touchy-feely family but this
was the first time they had snuggled under the covers and there was an
intimacy to it.
The two 'sisters' cuddled and whispered, Michelle asked Janet how her
hen's night had been. Janet was fully clothed except for her shoes and
Michelle was dressed in satin lingerie and stockings. They clung
together in the soft glow of the bedlamp, both of them becoming sleepy
until Janet became aware of something.
She could feel Michelle's erection pressing against her thigh.
Michelle's penis was shrouded in the soft satiny material of her baby-
doll pyjama bottoms but there was no doubt about what it was. An
uncomfortable silence ensued.
"Sorry," Michelle whispered.
"That's ok," Janet murmured.
"Are you really a virgin Michelle?" Janet whispered.
Michelle nodded.
"Michelle... I'm going to do something for you but you have to swear to
me that you will never tell anyone about it, including your psychologist
ok?" Janet looked into Michelle's heavily made-up eyes.
Michelle nodded again.
"Say it," she whispered harshly.
"I, I promise," Michelle stammered.
"No one! Ever!" Janet hissed.
"I promise," Michelle said a little more forcefully.
"You can't fuck me because I'm your sister, but I'm going to help you
ok?" Janet said frankly.
Michelle nodded once more. Then she gasped when Janet's hand lightly
brushed her swollen appendage through the rayon knickers.
Janet brushed it again, this time her fingers lingered and lightly
grasped the shaft before she let go.
"Oh!" Michelle drew in a deep breath.
"Nice?" Janet smiled at her sister.
"Mmm," Michelle replied.
Janet took Michelle's hand and guided it between her thighs. Michelle
softly stroked Janet's pubis through her satin panties and pantyhose.
This time it was Janet who gasped.
Then she took Michelle's cock in her hand, gathering the slippery
material around the shaft and began to softly stroke it.
"Now you do that to me, nice and soft and slow," Janet whispered in
Michelle's ear.
Janet put her calf over Michelle's thigh, opening her legs wider. Their
bodies remained pressed together while their fingers explored each
other's private parts. Michelle liked the feel of Janet's warm, nylon-
clad leg pressing on her own stocking-sheathed thigh. She purred and
pressed a little harder against Janet's groin, she could feel the outline
of her vulva, the heat generated by her sister's cunt and the spreading
dampness. Janet was rhythmically humping Michelle's hand.
Michelle pressed against Janet's hand insistently and Janet took the hint
and gripped Michelle's penis tighter and stroked it a little harder and
faster. When Michelle pressed her lips against hers she let her. They
could taste each other's lipstick and smell each other's perfume. It was
a soft, intimate and feminine experience; new to both of them.
The sisters stroked each other, building the tempo and then tapering off.
Michelle's penis swelled to full tumescence and began to throb whilst
Janet's knickers and pantyhose were soon dank and soggy with her juices.
"Ok Michelle, be careful now, no penetration ok?" Janet moaned as she
opened her legs wide and eased Michelle on top of her.
She wrapped her gossamer-sheathed legs around Michelle's flanks and
lifted her groin so that Michelle's satin-sheathed member pressed on her
pubis. It felt good but it felt even better when Janet freed Michelle's
cock from the confines of her knickers and let her rub it directly on her
panty-clad cunt. Janet let Michelle slide her cock inside the gusset of
her panties so that just the translucent fabric of her pantyhose
prevented Michelle from entering her.
Michelle drove her tongue into Janet's mouth, as much to stifle her moans
as to kiss her. The delightful sensation of her cock being enfolded in
Janet's vulva evoked the most indescribable pleasure she had ever
experienced. Janet adjusted her buttocks on the bed to ensure that
Michelle's penis pressed directly on her clitoris as Michelle began to
hump her lustfully. She returned Michelle's kisses and locked her arms
and legs around her and rose up off the bed to meet Michelle's thrusts.
Janet's sex was suddenly awash with hot creamy semen; the musty smell of
it rose to her nostrils and inflamed her desire. Janet began to shake as
her own climax erupted. The two beautiful creatures rutted and rubbed
against each other, extracting every scintilla of pleasure from one and
other. Their tongues lashed and their teeth cracked as their passion
soared.
They clung to each other in a paroxysm of lust and desire until their
orgasms subsided.
Michelle lay panting on top of Janet, her cock slowly contracting.
Janet's panties and the crotch of her pantyhose were a sodden mess as
were Michelle's knickers. They disengaged from each other and Michelle
rolled onto her back.
As they descended from the dizzy spiral of their lust-fuelled tirade they
realised the enormity of their transgression. Neither felt guilty but
they both knew that what they had done was forbidden and immoral.
Janet turned on her side and Michelle turned to face her.
"We tell no one and we never do it again ok?" she whispered.
Michelle nodded sagely.
"Was it nice?" Janet smiled wickedly.
"It was wonderful," Michelle returned her smile.
"Make sure you wash the sheets tomorrow while mom is out," Janet said and
sat upright, ready to get out of the bed.
And they never did tell anyone about it. It remained their secret.
*****
The second thing happened not long after Janet moved out of the house.
Michael missed his sister. He missed playing dressup with her and
confiding his secrets in her. He visited Janet at her flat but there
wasn't the same intimacy because he had to go as Michael. The days of
the 'sisters' putting on their little concerts and fashion shows were
gone.
Because Lucy worked so hard Michael had the house all to himself most of
the time which allowed him to bring Michelle out of the closet whenever
he wanted to. He spent most of his time at home dressed as Michelle and
had become comfortable doing so. One advantage of Janet moving out was
that her girlfriends and boyfriends no longer visited. Michael was sure
that his mother was dating but she never brought men home although she
would sometimes stay out overnight.
It was one such evening that Michelle was home alone, her mother had told
her that she wouldn't be home and would be out all night so Michelle
decided to put on her own little cabaret. She put on her prised
possession, a green satin cheongsam that she had found at the street
market and begged her mother to buy for her. It was form-fitting and
split from hip to heel down one side.
She wore sheer-to-the-waist pantyhose with it to show off her long toned
legs. She had learned how to tuck and had tucked herself using the tight
gusset of the pantyhose to keep her genitalia in place. The dress was
too tight to wear knickers under without showing VPL so she went sans
panties. She didn't yet have breastforms so she used two rice filled
stockings to fill the cups of her bra. She spent a long time getting her
makeup perfect and selecting the songs she would sing, stacking them in
order on the record changer on the Panasonic stereo.
She and Janet would sing along with their favourites, sometimes singing
as a duet and sometimes solo; tonight Michelle would be singing solo.
Michelle was belting out her rendition of Material Girl mimicking
Madonna's moves in the video clip as much as possible and she didn't hear
her uncle John's car pull up in the driveway. John came to the front
door and pressed the doorbell, he smiled to himself when he heard the
loud music. He knew that his sister-in-law liked to listen to popular
music.
John did not approve of his brother abandoning the Tanner family and he
helped them out as much as he could. He also had to admit that he quite
fancied Lucy Tanner and had let her know it. Maybe it was because she
had once been married to his brother but for whatever reason Lucy had
rebuffed his advances. He did not hold a grudge and kept in touch and
assisted the Tanners whenever he could. He had heard that his brother
had a windfall at the greyhounds and had shamed him into donating half
his winnings to Lucy.
John had arrived unannounced to surprise Lucy with her share of the
windfall with hopes that the influx of cash might tempt her to be a
little more receptive to his advances. He'd had a few whiskeys in the
pub and it had given him some Dutch courage. When no one answered the
doorbell he tried the door and finding it unlocked he let himself in.
John was very surprised when he saw the beautiful young woman dressed in
the tight evening gown standing in the middle of the cleared lounge room
singing into the microphone plugged into the auxiliary jack of the stereo
swaying her body in time with the music. He wondered who she was and
where Lucy was. The girl was likely some friend of Janet but he thought
that Janet had moved into a place of her own. She might be a friend of
Michael's but that seemed unlikely. Michael seemed a little effeminate
to him and unlikely to have attracted the sexy young woman strutting her
stuff before him.
He particularly liked her long legs, she had a good figure although her
hips were a little slim but from what he could see of her face she looked
pretty.
He stood in the archway admiring the woman who was engrossed in her
performance and hadn't yet noticed him. She spun on her heels as part of
her performance and suddenly saw him.
Michelle froze mid-verse. The music played on while she stood in the
centre of the lounge room absolutely stunned.
"Hello darling," John smiled at her and walked over to the stereo and
lifted the arm off the record.
To Michelle the silence seemed like the calm before the storm.
"Who are you and where is Lucy?" John asked, approaching her slowly.
There was something about the woman that seemed familiar and she was
indeed stunningly beautiful and sexy with her theatrical makeup, teased
out hair and form-fitting dress.
"Lucy is out for the evening," Michelle had recovered her composure
enough to answer her uncle.
Her smoky feminine voice came naturally to her when she was dressed
enfemme.
She realised that her uncle John had not recognised her but now she
needed to maintain her subterfuge and somehow get him to leave before he
did.
"And I'm Michelle, Janet's friend," she said, the irony of the half-truth
not lost on her.
"And I'm John Tanner, Janet's uncle. I've come by to see Lucy but she's
out as you say, so where is Janet... or Michael for that matter?" John
suddenly suspected that this girl might be here on her own, which raised
his suspicions.
Michelle put down the microphone and moved across the room as far away as
John as possible. She was caught in a conundrum; how was she to explain
being in the house whilst none of the family members were present.
"Janet and I are amateur performers and we were supposed to practice
tonight but she's running late. I started without her. I don't know
where Michael is," Michelle countered.
John strode across the room and fronted Michelle. He looked at her
closely, examining her. His face showed complete amazement when he
finally realised who he was addressing.
"Michael?" he whispered.
Michelle lowered her head in shame.
John lifted her chin and gazed at her.
"You're beautiful," he gasped.
"I'm not Michael; I'm Michelle," she replied softly.
John looked confused.
"Here. Sit," Michelle sat and patted the seat beside her on the couch.
John sat, still stunned. He was amazed at how sexy the young woman was.
She was so beautiful and feminine and her perfume was driving him a
little crazy. When she sat the split in her dress opened wide exposing
acres of shimmering nylon-clad thigh.
"It's a family secret but I guess you are in on it now," Michelle gave
her uncle a condensed and sanitised version of why she was a crossdresser
and her mother and sister's acceptance of her presenting as female.
John listened intently but he was distracted by Michelle's appearance.
She was not his nephew; she was some amorphous female presence who he
felt unrelated to. If he was honest with himself he would admit that as
well as fancying Lucy, he also had licentious thoughts about his niece
Janet as she had entered adulthood. This person Michelle resembled them
both a little, but her makeup, dress and demeanour presented her as a
sexy amalgamation of them both.
John scooted across the couch so that he was sitting close to Michelle.
She was prevented from moving further away from him by the arm of the
sofa.
"So now you need me to keep your secret too," He smiled at her
lecherously.
"Yes I do uncle John," Michelle replied, but she misread his
lecherousness for kindness.
That idea soon dissipated when John put his hand on her thigh.
"You're very convincing," John rubbed her thigh sensuously.
Michelle froze but she could feel the heat generated by John's hand and
deep in her psyche she had to admit that she was flattered. It was the
first time she had presented herself enfemme to a man and it was somewhat
empowering to know that the man found her attractive and feminine.
"And don't call me uncle John; just think of as your new friend John and
I won't think of you as my nephew Michael but as my new friend Michelle,"
John began to stroke her leg all the way from her knee to the top of her
thigh.
"Ok; if you say so. Do you promise not to tell anyone?" Michelle sighed.
"Not even your mother or your sister. It will be our little secret,"
John smiled at her.
Michelle sensed that she was standing into danger but what could she do?
She could tell her mother that John had found out about her secret but
she doubted there was much her mother could do to make sure he kept it a
secret. Michelle was on her own. It was up to her.
"Do you understand what quid pro quo is Michelle?" John leaned in even
closer.
"It means something for something or a favour for a favour," Michelle was
well educated and intelligent.
"That's right. A favour for a favour. I want a favour from you
Michelle," John whispered in her ear.
The feel of his lips on her flesh and the warmth of his breath in her ear
felt strangely alluring. She could smell the whisky on him.
John got up from the couch and Michelle was relieved but, even though she
would never admit it, she was also a little disappointed. She quite
liked the effect that she was having on her uncle. She quite liked being
appreciated as an attractive woman.
He went over to the sideboard and poured them both a large whisky and
then stopped at the stereo and picked through her record collection. He
took the stack of records off the spindle and put a record on the platter
and lowered the tone arm to it.
A slow song began to blare out of the speakers, Up Where We Belong. John
lowered the volume then took the drinks back to the couch.
"Here; drink this," He offered the drink to Michelle.
Michelle, still frightened, gulped down the spirit. It burned her throat
but she didn't care. John put out his hand and she took it; what else
could she do? He pulled her into his arms, held her close and began to
slow dance.
Michelle felt awkward and a little silly dancing with her uncle, but she
had to admit to herself that she kinda liked it too. She admitted to
herself that this was what she had been missing. Janet treated her like
a sister and her mother treated her like a girl when she presented
enfemme but his man treated her like a woman, like a desirable object, he
made her feel more feminine than the two women in his life could simply
because of his maleness.
After starting off stiff and clumsy, Michelle found the rhythm and the
steps and began to dance with John. She rested her head on his shoulder
and he held her close as they shuffled around the room. Michelle felt so
soft and dainty in his arms. John knew that Michelle's breasts were fake
but they still felt nice pressing into his chest and feel of the sleek
satin gown was delightful as was the scent of her perfume.
Michelle felt safe and comforted in John's arms, his hard body pressing
against hers made her a feel comforted and relaxed, she closed her eyes
and enjoyed the sensation of their swaying to the beat of the music, she
smiled and sighed contentedly. If this was the favour her uncle John
wanted, she was more than willing to offer it.
Michelle's eyes suddenly shot open. There was no doubt as to what she
felt pressing into her belly through the satin cheongsam. Uncle John was
hard. She tried to arch her back to prevent him from pressing his penis
into her midriff but he pulled her hard against him.
"When I was in the navy I used to go to a couple of bars in Portsmouth
where special girls like you hung out. On the odd weekend I'd take the
train to London and go down to Soho and watch girls like you perform.
After the show, if I was lucky, one of them might invite me home or we'd
get a room," John whispered in Michelle's ear.
"But I'm not like that uncle John. I don't dress like this to do that,"
Michelle struggled a little but John held her tight.
The struggle was half-hearted but Michelle was not about to admit to
herself that she liked the effect she was having on this older man; her
father's brother.
"How do you know Michelle? You only ever come out at home in front of
your mother and sister, you told me so yourself. This is the first time
that you have presented yourself to a man," John countered.
"It's not right uncle John, for all sorts of reasons," she replied.
John lifted her head from his shoulders and studied her pretty face. Her
green eyes, highlighted by the multi-hued eyeshadow, the black eyeliner
and the mascara applied to her long eyelashes, her fine cheeks defined by
the pink blush, and those full red lips with the red lipstick, just
begged to be kissed.
So he did.
And at first Michelle was unresponsive. It felt so wrong to be kissed by
a man... and then it felt so right. She opened her lips a little and
returned the kiss and when John slipped his tongue into her mouth she let
him. He tasted like whisky and cigarettes and she could smell his musky
aftershave and underneath it his sweat. It wasn't a bad smell; it was a
manly smell and the feel of his hard body, his virility, the graze of his
stubble on her soft cheek, the pressure of his lips and yes... the heft
of his penis pressing into her belly, made Michelle feel fully feminine.
John made her feel desired and wanted and treasured.
But she knew it was wrong.
John broke the kiss and gazed into her eyes once again.
"I know what you're thinking. But it's this Michelle; this to keep me
quiet. No one need ever know," He smiled at her.
Michelle knew that she was being blackmailed and deep down inside she was
glad. She could justify her actions by pretending that she had been an
unwilling accomplice, an innocent pawn, duped into allowing her uncle to
molest her against her will.
Her thickening penis threatening to spring free from between her legs
might signify otherwise however.
She closed her eyes and opened her lips in anticipation and was rewarded
when John leaned down and kissed her. She let him use his tongue and she
had to admit that it felt very sensual. Michael had kissed plenty of
girls and Michelle had kissed Janet but this was different, she was the
passive receptive participant and it felt so right.
Michelle baulked when John guided her hand between their bodies and put
it on his penis but she didn't hesitate much before she gripped the
appendage through her uncle's trousers. She imagined she could feel the
heat radiating from the engorged flesh and she could certainly feel the
tumescence as it pulsed and throbbed.
The song finished but John kept holding her close and guided her over to
couch. When the back of her knees came in contact with the cushions she
dropped down on it and John followed her. They lay side by side smiling
at each other.
"Was that nice?" John asked, his breathing was laboured with lust.
"I had no choice did I? But it wasn't exactly awful. If I forget that
you are my uncle I think I can bear it," Michelle said, the lie on her
lips was more than evident to John.
"Can you turn out the light?" Michelle asked.
Although he didn't want to move, John got up and turned out the overhead
light and opened the curtains so that the room was lit only by the
moonlight steaming through the windows. Michelle usually closed the
curtains so she would not be seen but the house was surrounded by a large
hedge and with the lights off she was not concerned about being seen from
the street.
She used the opportunity to free the burgeoning erection that had become
increasingly uncomfortable tucked between her legs and let her testes
descend into her scrotum. She assured herself that she had done so only
for own comfort.
But when John came back to the couch with refilled glasses she had no
interest in the drink he had bought her. She swilled it down quickly to
give her some fortitude and lay prone on the sofa when John settled
himself on top of her, keeping his weight on his elbows.
"You're beautiful," he whispered as he lowered his face to hers and
kissed her and she instinctively wrapped her arms around him.
When John began to free his penis from his trousers Michelle began to
panic. The kissing and caressing were wonderful but she had no idea what
John's intent was once he had his flesh out. She was not na?ve, the
romance of the kissing and cuddling might be delightful but she was
horrified at the thought of John putting that thing anywhere near her
mouth or her bum.
Her fears were unfounded. John was so excited that he had no intention
of asking his niece for fellatio... at least not yet. He wanted to feel
those firm silken-shrouded thighs on his flesh and when he opened the
split in Michelle's cheongsam and put his cock between her legs Michelle
actually felt relieved.
She'd heard of the Oxford Rub at college. It was joked about by the gays
at college who were no longer repressed and openly expressed their
homosexuality. There were still plenty of homophobes of course, but time
was marching on and acceptance was more common than ridicule.
John kissed Michelle harder and more passionately and she assisted John
by opening her legs a little and then clamping them around his cock.
John groaned and Michelle had to admit that feel of the throbbing veiny
appendage pressing against her flesh felt quite delightful.
When John began to grind against her she put her arms around him and
raised her buttocks in time with his thrusts. Her own cock was fully
tumescent and leaking pre-seminal fluid into her pantyhose and she
reached between their bodies to move the fabric of the cheongsam away
from her groin. She may have been in the throes of an illicit tryst, but
this was the most expensive dress she owned and she had no intention of
ruining it.
John smiled to himself when she did this. He could feel Michelle's cock
hard and trapped inside her pantyhose. It lay flat against her belly
shrouded in the gossamer fabric, leaking droplets of precum.
Michelle was a little disappointed when John stopped rubbing against her
and lifted himself onto his elbows but he had only done so, so that he
could unbuckle his trousers and pull them down to his knees. When he
lowered himself back down on top of Michelle he directed his penis so
that it pressed directly on hers.
Michelle struggled a little. This was a little further than she was
willing to go but her struggles only enhanced the pleasure that John was
feeling as his cock grazed and kneaded Michelle's erect member. The
slinky hose felt delightful against John's sensitive phallus and Michelle
began to experience the same wonderful sensations and when John kissed
her and humped her she wrapped her legs around him to encourage him.
The two forbidden lovers kissed and caressed and ground against other,
groaning and moaning with wantonness. Michelle could no longer pretend
that she was anything other than a willing participant. The feel of her
uncle's hard throbbing penis pressing on her own with only a scintilla of
translucent fabric between their flesh felt both lecherous and divine.
This was even better than the time Michelle had panty-popped her sister.
John drove his tongue deep into Michelle's mouth and he put his palms on
her shoulders and drove her into the sofa as he wedged his cock against
her and ground it hard, pressing the pulsing flesh onto Michelle's
throbbing cock. The first hot, viscous gobbet of his spend splashed on
her belly and soaked into her pantyhose, followed by spritzes of hot,
milky, musky semen which Michelle felt spatter on her tender flesh.
Rather than being repulsed, Michelle felt excited, lustful and debauched.
The improperness of the situation only heightened the intensity of the
wondrous feelings that were surging though her body. She shuddered and
writhed under her uncle as her own orgasm exploded and wracked her body.
She kissed John passionately and pulled him harder against her with her
legs which she had crossed behind his back. She raised her groin off the
sofa and rubbed her ejaculating penis against her uncle's.
And that was how Lucy Tanner found her brother-in-law and her son.
Rutting on the sofa in her lounge room.
Lucy's date had turned sour and she had abandoned the man who was fully
expecting to spend the night with her in his council flat. She had left
him in the pub after they got into an argument and caught a taxi home,
only to be confronted by the bewildering sight of Michelle and John
rutting on the lounge.
The fallout was catastrophic. Lucy set about beating John with her fists
as he valiantly attempted to pull up his trousers and flee. She followed
him to the door and told him never to return and threatened to go to the
police. Then she turned her anger on Michelle.
"You told me there was nothing sexual about your crossdressing! You lied
to me Michael!" this was the first time Lucy had misgendered Michelle.
"I don't know what happened. Uncle John got me drunk and took
advantage," Michelle cried, her back turned to her mother while she wiped
at her crotch with a tea towel whilst holding the cheongsam out of the
way.
She had never felt as undignified as she did then.
"I'll go back to see the psychologist, I promise never to do it again...
mom... I promise," Michelle pleaded with her mother.
"I'm sorry I've had enough. I condoned your crossdressing and even put
up with you spunking in my knickers and tights but this is just too much!
We're finding you your own digs. You're an adult now. You're moving
out!" Lucy stormed off to her bedroom.
Michael went to see the psychologist as promised and told her what had
happened. He did not tell the physiologist that the man she had sex with
was her uncle nor did he tell her about what happened with Janet in his
bedroom. The psychologist once again questioned Michael as to how he
felt about his gender. Was his intent to undergo transformation or to
present as a woman full-time?
Michael repeated his stance that occasionally crossdressing made him feel
content and that he had no intent to change his gender or present himself
to the world as a woman.
As Michael was now an adult the physiologist requested that Michael
permit her to share her findings with his mother in order to reassure her
that what she had witnessed was most likely just a one off glitch. An
experimentation that had gone horribly wrong and that Michael promised
would never happen again. Michael agreed.
Lucy Tanner was comforted a little by what Michael's psychologist told
her but she could no longer tolerate seeing her son dressed as a woman.
If Michael wanted to pursue his transvestism, he would have to do it
elsewhere.
Michael moved out one month later into a dormitory in the university
where he was studying Economics and Business Administration. He was able
to dress in his dormitory but it was infrequent and unsatisfying and when
he graduated and took a position at Stills and Shipley Financial Services
and got his own flat he was delighted.
After the debacle with his uncle, combined with the guilt he felt about
having sex with his sister, he vowed that he would keep his sex life
totally divorced from his penchant for crossdressing and he stuck to his
druthers and never engaged in sexual activity when he presented as
Michelle.
As well as being able to present as Michelle in the privacy of his own
flat Michael explored the London nightlife. Now that he had a steady if
meagre income he could afford to pamper himself a little. He had a
string of girlfriends but never had the courage to tell them about his
alter ego Michelle. He preferred to have sex with them when they were
clothed in sexy attire and wearing full makeup; for some girls that was a
problem and some of them were willing to pamper to his fetish but none of
his relationships lasted long.
What he did discover during his exploration of London nightlife was a
thriving burlesque and drag scene. He visited the Royal Vauxhall Tavern
and other venues, mainly in Soho where drag queens performed. He was
immediately taken with the queens and their performances although he
preferred the realistic female impersonators who sang live compared to
those distorted overly feminised drag queens who dressed in exaggerated
costumes and mimed to pre-recorded music.
He became a regular at The Horseshoe Club, which whilst being a little
seedy and not as opulent as some of the better venues, presented
convincing female impersonators who sang live. Michael eventually
convinced Barry Culpepper, the owner of The Horseshoe, to let him
audition.
Michelle was an instant hit and Barry hired her to perform under the
stage name Crystal Palace which Michelle thought was clich? and gauche
but she put up with it because she loved presenting herself enfemme and
it was a safe place to do so. She perfected the skills that she and
Janet had worked hard at all those years ago and she became a popular and
professional performer.
Most of the 'girls' who performed at The Horseshoe were gay and a couple
were in various stages of transitioning, presenting themselves to the
world as transgender women. Michelle had no compunction to do so and did
not consider herself queer, despite the one indiscretion with her uncle
John who was now banished from the Tanner household.
She also kept her female persona secret from her employers at Stills and
Shipley Financial Services, knowing that she would likely be fired on the
spot if they found out. In 1993 transgender and gays were not covered by
the employment and equality laws and she still felt profound guilt about
her crossdressing proclivities. She knew that she would be harassed and
bullied if her secret was ever revealed.
However Michelle was comfortable presenting herself as Crystal Palace,
when she looked in the mirror she didn't see any evidence of Michael,
only a slight family resemblance to her sister and her mother.
*****
The morning after her performance at The Horseshoe Michael awoke to the
alarm clock. Working The Horseshoe four nights a week was tiring,
especially Thursday because he had to work his day job on Friday. Today
he couldn't be late because he had an important meeting first thing. He
left home in a hurry without breakfast.
Michael had just enough time to grab a cup of tea and a finger bun off
the tea lady's trolley before he entered the conference room five minutes
late.
Most of the others were seated at the conference table and Michael
managed to squeeze himself between two other attendees, one of whom was
reading the agenda and the other the morning newspaper. Michael took a
bite of his bun and slurped his tea. He scanned the agenda and prepared
himself for two hours of boredom whilst the managers reviewed the
investment and fiduciary performance of their teams.
Putting down the agenda, Michael was suddenly aware that Alan Wright was
sitting to his right. Alan looked a little haggard after a late night
and Michael smiled inwardly knowing the reason why. Michael was also
feeling tired and as the meeting began his mind drifted off and he began
to think about what he would wear and what songs he would perform at The
Horseshoe that night.
He began to doze and was rudely awakened when Alan Wright dug him in the
ribs with his elbow.
"Wake up mate; at least pretend to be interested," Alan whispered.
Michael sat upright and tugged at his tie and undid the top button of his
shirt to make himself more comfortable. An hour into the meeting they
took a break and the tea lady wheeled in her trolley.
"Thanks for waking me up Alan, can I shout you a cup of tea to thank
you?" Michael said as he stood up and pushed back his chair.
"Yes you can mate; splash of milk and two sugars please," Alan said and
then got into a conversation with the person on the other side of him
about the performance of a certain investment fund.
Michael returned with two mugs of hot tea and offered one to Alan who
took it dismissively without saying thank you. But then Alan suddenly
did a double take and took notice of Michael Tanner.
Michael's shirt was open at the collar and in the hollow of his neck was
a heart-shaped mole.
"So what do you think of the meeting so far?" Alan asked Michael,
striking up a conversation so he could study him.
He noted Michael's diminutive stature and his mannerisms which were very
delicate. Michael had long fingernails and the fingers gripping his mug
of tea were long and slender. Alan noted what appeared to be the
remnants of glue stuck to a couple of Michael's fingernails. He studied
Michael's face as they spoke and noted the emerald green eyes. He was
unsure but he thought there might be a skerrick of eyeliner on his right
eyelid.
Alan tried to picture Michael with copper-blonde hair instead of the
straight brown shoulder-length hairstyle that he sported. Some of the
younger types liked to wear their hair long, there was nothing wrong with
that but Alan wondered how Michael could change his hair colour and
style. He knew it was possible, he'd seen plenty of drag shows.
But the women at The Horseshoe Club weren't really drag queens, they were
female impersonators and almost passable as real women, that's why he had
gone there last night.
This was interesting... very interesting and Alan decided it warranted
further investigation.
To be continued