THE TALE OF THE TORCH SINGER'S WIFE
by enduringshades
PROLOGUE
Linda James was driving home in her husband's, Leo, SUV. She was
distressed. She had been invited to the BRITs the night before, but her
name was not on the guest list. Her husband's agency was supposed to
have made the arrangements, but all they had done was book her a hotel
room, just for her, and she had had to pay and she really couldn't
afford it. She had thought the hotel room had been booked for her and
Leo.
She was half listening to the radio when she heard 'And now for some
entertainment news. At last night's BRIT Awards, Sharon Diamond, who won
best newcomer award, was escorted by Anton Black, the actor starring in
the current series of Superman movies. When it was announced she had
won, she turned to Anton, hugged him tightly and they kissed
passionately before she went to collect her reward. Insiders at the
afterparty told us that the celebrity couple left the party early arm-
in-arm. This reporter says, wow, did the country's most celebrated trans
woman and a leading icon of the gay world spend a night of passion
together? Or did they just share a taxi?' Linda cried out, turned the
wheel and drove the SUV off the road and down a slope. The car was
stopped by a tree, air cushions exploded and Linda's world went dark.
COMING ROUND
I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything. I was bewildered and felt
groggy, but gradually my mind cleared. I realised I was lying in a bed
and could hear a beeping sound and distant noises. I groaned. I tried
raising my arm, but it wouldn't move. I could feel someone holding my
hand. A woman's voice called out, "Nurse, she's awake!" I heard a door
open and then footsteps. I could feel someone checking me out. The
nurse? Was I in hospital?
"Hello Mrs James, or would you prefer Linda?" a second woman asked. "My
name is Tracy, I am a nurse and you are in hospital. By some miracle you
have survived a terrible road accident. Can you say something for me,
but please do not strain yourself."
I whispered, "Hello nurse, please call me Linda."
Someone else entered the room. Tracy said, "Doctor, Linda's awake and
her vital signs are getting stronger, but still weak."
"Hello Linda, I'm Dr Green," said a man, "you have been unconscious
since the day before yesterday. You have a head injury and a broken leg.
I'm sorry you cannot move and we don't want to remove the bandages
covering your eyes just yet, but you will recover. Please rest, but it
is fine if you want to talk. The nurse and I will leave you now." I
heard them go.
The woman then asked, "What happened Linda? The police accident
investigators said you drove deliberately off the road and in their view
they believe you attempted suicide. It was the car's safety systems that
saved you."
I replied, "I don't remember" and I started crying.
The woman squeezed my hand and said, "there, there, rest for awhile." I
fell asleep.
I woke up having had a disturbing dream about Leo. I called out, "Are
you there?"
I felt someone take my hand and then the woman said, "Yes, I'm here, is
there anything you need?"
"I have been dreaming and I need to tell you a story. I have a feeling
it relates to my attempt to end it all, the memory of which is coming
back to me, and telling someone may help."
I recounted my tale while the woman listened in silence, which suited me
as I didn't want to make small talk or answer any questions.
MY STORY
My dear husband Leo had an amazing voice, he often sang along to songs
on the radio. His incredible ability was his vocal range, he could sing
with both male and female voices. One day a leaflet came through the
door announcing a series of events to raise money for repairs to the
village hall, one of them was called 'Little Hampdean's Got Talent'. I
suggested to Leo that he should enter into the community spirit and take
part. He reluctantly agreed, but later threw himself in with a spurt of
enthusiasm. He sang a duet, singing both the male and female parts. The
audience loved it and so did the judges and he won. Lower Hampdean did
have talent.
A month later we were shopping in our local town centre and I saw a
poster outside a club announcing a talent night and inviting people to
take part. But this time there were cash prizes, the winner would get
?1000. I told Leo, we could do with that money. I worked in our village
shop and between ourselves we only just made ends meet. Leo agreed and I
went inside to fill out an entry form for him.
His entry was accepted and a week later Leo was on the stage repeating
his talent show performance. We jumped up and down when it was announced
he had won. The club manager invited us to join him for a drink and
presentation of the cheque. He told us that the talent night was
something they organised every now and again to discover potential
entertainers for their clubs. The privately owned company, Jack of Clubs
Enterprises or JCE, was an agency that represented and supported
artists. They also owned a chain of clubs, mainly cabaret, and a
successful drag review.
He wanted to take on Leo and train him as a cabaret singer. He offered a
starting wage more than what Leo was currently earning as a self-
employed delivery driver and that was just for training. Leo accepted
with my encouragement, it would mean that we would be more financially
secure.
The manager was pleased and then told us he had a surprise. He wanted to
sponsor Leo for an upcoming TV talent show, he was confident in Leo's
future success and said his TV appearances would help draw customers
into the clubs when Leo was on the bill.
Leo wound up his business referring his customers to another driver, but
he kept the SUV. The following week he reported to the venue they used
for training and rehearsals. Leo was put through the paces to evaluate
his singing and dancing abilities, dancing seemed to be a hidden talent
of Leo's, and his stage craft. They were disappointed that he could not
play a musical instrument, but they were pleased with his potential to
be a cabaret singer. But there was a condition.
They said that his duet act was very good, but too gimmicky and their
regular customers would soon tire of it. What they wanted Leo to do was
to become a female entertainer. They wouldn't hide the fact he was a
man, that was what would make the act special and stand out. Leo wasn't
happy about their proposal, we talked about it and decided not to break
the contract just yet and we could do with the money. On hearing Leo had
agreed, they applied to the TV Show, which was due to go on the air in
about six months time.
Leo was to report to the JCE's drag venue where the expert staff there
would put together Leo's stage presentation as a female. JCE ran an
intensive month-long drag residential course which Leo was going to
join. The course finishes with a revue. it was to be the next time I was
going to see him. I wasn't sure I wanted to be the proud spouse of a
graduating drag queen. But what I didn't know then was it would be the
last time I would see Leo as Leo, as my man.
I arrived at the club in time to take my seat at a reserved table. The
manager asked one of their young artists to sit with me. She told me her
stage name was Tinkerbelle. She wasn't in stage costume and make up, but
was in mufti as she called it. She wore a simple silver sleeveless mini
dress and she was gorgeous. She told me that her boyfriend was also on
the course and would be taking part in the revue. We talked about Leo,
amongst other things. Leo had got on well with the other girls, I wasn't
sure about ''other' girls, and he was a natural performer. He had not
taken part in the drag queen specific parts of the course and instead
had had solo sessions focussing on natural female behaviour and
mannerisms.
The revue started and we watched a series of performances involving
dance routines each featuring one of the students, usually miming to a
song. There was some standup, although the audience enjoyed the jokes I
didn't find them particularly funny. Tinkerbelle thought it was because
I wasn't familiar with the culture. Every now and again she would point
out one of the dancers and said it was Leo, but I couldn't recognise
him; and I thought I would recognise him anywhere.
The show was nearly over when the over-the-top compere made an
announcement. Tinkerbelle told me she was the course supervisor. The
compere said that tonight we were in for a special treat to end the
show. She announced that one of JCE's discoveries was going to perform
her solo stage debut. She asked us to give a special welcome to Sharon
Diamond.
A troupe of dancers ran onto the stage formed up and held up their arms
as a tall woman wearing a long flowing red gown glided on to the stage
in time to the music. She and the dancers broke into a routine. The male
dancers took it in turns to dance with her, some took her into their
arms, some lifted her up, and she flirted with them. She moved around
the stage as if she owned it and with the dancers as if they were her
lovers. And then I got the surprise of my life. She started to sing with
a relaxed but passionate contralto voice 'Cry Me a River." It was our
song. It was Leo.
After Leo's performance, all the course performers came on stage and
gathered around him. While waiting a man in a suit came to our table and
whispered into Tinkerbelle's ear, she nodded acknowledgement and then
glanced at me with a brief show of pity.
I was expecting Leo to go home with me or at least to see him after the
show. But Tinkerbell said it was not possible. Apparently, they do not
allow anyone behind the stage, even on a night like tonight, to protect
the safety of the performers. Occasionally a star performer would come
out and mingle with the customers, but not tonight. Tinkerbelle told me
I would see Leo soon. I drove home alone, I really missed him and was
looking forward to making love after his month-long absence from our
bed. But now I was worried about what I saw.
I didn't hear anything from Leo, I didn't know how to contact him and my
messages for him I left with JCE were never replied to. Then about a
month after the drag revue, I received an email from JCE informing me
that their new sensation, the trans singer Sharon Diamond, would be
appearing at the cabaret club in town and my name had been added to the
guest list.
I arrived at the club with a mixture of excitement and dread. When I
gave them my name, it was ticked off a list and a young man was waved
over. His name was David and he was to look after me that night. I
recognised him as the man in the suit who spoke to Tinkerbelle. He took
me to a table towards the back and sat down with me. He told me that
they were very excited about Sharon and had great plans for her
depending on how well she did on the TV talent show. Tonight was a low
key event in preparation for the TV show and JCE had invited a number of
special guests for a preview. I think he knew I was 'Sharon's' wife, but
he didn't show it. Needless to say I was kept on a tight lead and I
didn't get to see Leo before the show.
Leo, or rather Sharon, was a sensation. His show was in two parts with a
costume change during the interval. He sang and danced to a variety of
songs. There was a chemistry between him and the dancers, who he
introduced as her Diamond Boys. His costume for the first part was in
the style of a showgirl. I couldn't believe his long legs and lissome
figure, in fact I did wonder if it was Leo, I couldn't see his face from
where I was sitting but there was no mistaking the richness of his
sultry feminine singing voice, he had obviously had voice training as
his singing was now full of power. For the second half he changed into a
sparkling little black dress with heels that I couldn't possibly wear.
His blond hair was now cascading down his back. He did come off the low
stage and mingled amongst the VIP tables at the front. Several men
received a kiss or caress from him and he sat across the lap of one very
excited gentleman. He returned to the stage and received thunderous
applause and an encore was called for. He sang a torch song, another
favourite of ours, which was particularly moving. He ignored the VIPs in
the front and sang to the back of the club with a searching gaze.
I went home alone again, it was two months now. I really was missing
him.
For the next three months I heard nothing of Leo or indeed Sharon. I was
lonely and missed him. I went to work at the village shop and returned
home to an empty house. Leo's money from JCE was paid into our account
regularly, but there were no withdrawals by him, I assume JCE must be
paying his expenses. At least with both our incomes, and that I wasn't
spending any money socialising, I had no financial worries.
The trailers for 'The British Talent Show' started to appear on TV. I
wondered if that was the show Leo was supposed to be appearing in. I had
heard nothing from JCE, so I watched the show just in case. It wasn't
until the third week when Leo was featured. Seeing him being interviewed
and watching the short video profiling Sharon left me dumbfounded. They
introduced him as a trans woman, as JCE had already described him. In
the video he was wearing a white dress with a tiered skirt and a
matching bardot top, looking very much like the girl next door. His
blond hair fell down his back in gentle curls and the tight bodice
showed off his trim waist and ample breasts. He had a more womanly
figure than when I last saw him. What really shocked me was he was
walking hand-in-hand with a handsome fit man through a park gazing at
each other. The video cut to them sitting on a bench with Leo snuggled
up to him with his hand resting on the man's lap. The voiceover talked
about Sharon's journey from a little boy dreaming to be a girl, her
troubled teenage years and the final fulfilment of her desires by
transitioning to a woman. She had now found love and happiness. There
was no mention of being married. Sharon's voice then finished the video
with a message that she was going to try her best to win in recognition
to all those who supported her in preparing for the contest. And then
the camera cut to the man who said that Sharon wanted to dedicate her
first song to her Gran, who was now in a nursing home. Gran had stood by
her throughout her difficult times encouraging her to come out to family
and friends. Both Leo's grandmothers had died some years ago.
Leo sang one of songs from his cabaret show, he danced but without the
Diamond Boys. He wore his sparkling little black dress and those
towering heels. The audience applause was appreciative but not rousing.
The judges praised him but thought he needed more confidence, but he was
going through to the semifinal, just. The online voting was a little
more supportive than the judges.
After the show I was proud of what Leo had achieved but upset about the
whole situation. I missed him and I was lonely and now I wondered about
his sexuality and whether our marriage was on shaky ground or even if it
just existed in name only; it had been nearly six months now. I started
to speculate that perhaps JCE enterprises were managing a public
relationship campaign that bore no resemblance to the truth and if so
how acquiescent had been Leo. I had no one to talk to and I couldn't
bear revealing Sharon Diamond was my husband Leo to anyone.
During the lead up to the semi-final, I realised there was a lot of
interest on social media which leaked over into the mainstream
entertainment and the tabloid press. Many people were questioning
Sharon's earlier life. No one had been able to verify the information
put out by JCE or whether Sharon was truly trans and not a real woman.
They also could not track down her boyfriend featured in the video or
Sharon's Gran. There were a number of fake reports, I don't know about
the boyfriend, but do know about Leo's family and background.
JCE clearly knew their market. More and more people were accepting trans
celebrities, especially the BTS fans, but apparently celebrity
crossdressers were not in vogue. The recent popularity of drag queens on
TV with their over-exaggerating feminine looks, style and body language
was a different thing altogether. So Sharon became trans and not a
female impersonator or drag artist.
The semi-finals arrived, the first one featured Leo so I had to watch.
He sang another one of his cabaret songs and wore the showgirl's costume
this time and gave an accomplished dance routine. The audience applauded
enthusiastically and the judges were more generous with their praise. He
was through to the final. The online voting made Sharon the favourite,
the media activity had no doubt had an influence and I wondered if JCE
had been planting stories and comments.
The final was a week later. Sharon Diamond was all over the tabloid
press and they were supporting her.
The final was on live TV. When it came to his turn, the compere asked
what song he was going to perform, he answered 'Cry me a River'. The
compere asked why that song and he replied it was for a very special
person who he had lost contact with and missed very much, the audience
exploded with applause. What they didn't know was that it was our song,
we danced to the Julie London version at our wedding reception, our
first dance as a married couple.
He sat on a high stool, wearing a fifties style dress, strapless with a
sweetheart bodice and a full mid length skirt over layers of petticoats.
He wore long gloves, a diamond necklace and mules with stiletto heels
and had a shoulder-length fifties hairstyle. He was Julie London. There
were no dancers, no backing music, he sang a cappella under a spotlight.
He won.
I cried a river throughout his performance. What I didn't understand was
why they kept switching to a camera view of an older couple and a
younger man as if they were his parents and partner.
I recalled JCE had intended that Leo's appearance on the talent show
would launch his career singing in their clubs. But with the triumph of
the win, the agency appeared to have set their sights higher. It wasn't
long before a studio recording of 'Cry Me a River', with music, was
released. It was a huge success, and had regular plays on the radio and
streaming services. The video showed Sharon, dressed in his TV show
costume performing the song, intercut with romantic scenes with him
dressed in a primrose fifties summer dress enjoying the company of a
debonair man.
Later an album of torch songs was recorded and released. Leo was at his
best, singing with a depth of passion that was exceptional. The album
was a great success and highly praised by the critics and on the
strength of the album alone Sharon Diamond was short-listed as best
newcomer for the BRITs. Sharon never did live shows or interviews, but
there were an endless succession of music videos and recorded interviews
and she was all over social media, especially her entanglements with
men, both romantic and more raunchy. With the frisson of excitement of
once being a boy.
It was about a week before the BRITs when I received an invite to attend
the awards ceremony, my name was on the guest list and JCE had booked a
hotel. I decided I couldn't face going, then I changed my mind. If I
went I might be able to make contact with Leo and surely the hotel
booking was for the both of us.
I was extremely embarrassed when I was refused entry. I was originally
down as one JCE's guests, but apparently somebody, when reviewing the
list, had struck me off. I retreated back to the hotel to watch the show
on TV. There was another video celebrating Sharon's journey to the
nomination. It focused on her burgeoning celebrity status, her party
going, her dating and her increasingly revealing wardrobe, I was
astonished with his figure. He was not the Leo I knew, I found it
difficult to watch. The gown he wore was provided by an up-and-coming
London designer. It was long and flowing, like a Greek goddess. A slit
in the skirt revealed his legs and the minimal material covering his
very real breasts defied gravity. I cried myself to sleep, I had lost
Leo to his new life, she was now Sharon Diamond. He was now a woman.
The following morning I heard a distressing report on the radio about my
husband sleeping with a celebrity gay actor. That was too much so I
decided to end it all, but I failed and ended up here.
The woman who had sat with me and listened to my tale was still holding
my hand. "Thank you for listening to me without interrupting or judging
me. It was very kind of you. I am pleased I have told somebody my tale.
I now feel unburdened and can move on. I can't see you but I'm sure you
are a kind woman and I am sorry to have taken up your time and burdened
you with my woes. I'm going to close my eyes now and let go. Goodbye."
MY HUSBAND'S STORY
"No! Please don't go, it's me Leo and I don't want to lose you again,"
he said in his normal voice before bursting into tears. I thought I was
hearing things, I was hallucinating. Was Leo the hospital volunteer I
had let my heart out to? He doesn't usually cry, but it was him.
"Leo, it is you! I can't believe it." I could feel his hand squeezing
mine. "I wish I could see you."
"I don't know if you would want to, I do look like a woman. But please
don't be distressed because underneath I'm still a man where it counts,
despite what you have been seeing and hearing." Leo was now sobbing with
joy. "The nurse told me that they are planning to remove the bandages
from your eyes tomorrow morning."
"I now realise I have been thoughtless and stupid," cried Leo. "I got
carried away with the attention and praise I was getting. I believed
what they told me about you but I wasn't in a position to question them,
even though it didn't seem like you. I convinced myself I was doing it
for us, but I was putting money and fame before our happiness."
"Now, I'll tell you my story," said Leo, "we both did not know the full
truth and there is much misunderstanding."
"Let me begin with the day I left for the residential course at the drag
venue, the time I last saw you. I was told there wasn't time to go back
home during my stay, but you had been invited to the end-of-course
review. It was knowing you would be there that inspired me in choosing
to sing 'Cry Me a River'. I tried to spot you in the audience and I
think I saw you at the back sitting with Tinkerbell. After the show I
started to come and find you and I was stopped and told not to bother.
They held me back saying they did not want to create a scene in the
club. Apparently you were disgusted with my performance and you had
called me a detestable pervert and you never wanted to see me again.
That wasn't like you, but I looked at myself and realised I had crossed
a line, partly through wanting to do my best and partly spurred on and
pressured by JCE. During the days and weeks after, I desperately wanted
to talk to you but I was told that you were not responding to my
messages. I was devastated and it took some time for me, with much
cajoling, to return to some semblance of normality. I decided the best
thing I could do was to focus on winning BTS, it was the easiest path."
Leo paused.
"It is now clear to me JCE were deliberately keeping us apart after just
one week," I said, "we were innocent fools and fell for it."
"But I was not expecting to enjoy what they wanted me to do," continued
Leo, "I was thrilled that I had talent in singing and dancing. I had
never been good at doing anything before and entertaining people was
immensely satisfying. I relished the applause and the praise, but later
I regretted that, with the absence of wise counsel, I let it go to my
head. Being dressed and presenting as a woman on stage was a pleasure, I
enjoyed the glamour and the grace."
"But the enjoyment made me blind to my lack of freedom. I had accepted
having no private life and I gradually realised that I was virtually a
captive. But it didn't bother me, I had my singing." Leo then went
silent and I slipped in a question that I had been wanting to ask.
"Leo, I have to ask you. How do you look now so I can picture you. I
couldn't help noticing that you look like a real woman on TV with not
much left for the imagination. But I don't mind, I just want you back,"
I said.
"I'm afraid I do look like a woman," answered Leo sympathetically. "I
did not have a choice, it is nearly two years now since JCE took
control. I knew of what I believed to be reversible changes that
enhanced my stage appearance, even to having implants, but I had not
realised that they had been administering hormones and by that time I
had accepted my new career, and the secret feminisation of my body only
helped. I had no other life, so I had no pressing reason not to accept
it for the time being. My changing emotions helped me empathise with
women and improved the quality of my singing."
"But to be honest, I came to enjoy, and was proud of, being a woman. JCE
encouraged me to dress more and behave as a woman, not just on stage.
They said it was more for convenience and to protect my identity, but I
now realise that it was to add credence to their trans woman narrative."
Leo continued. "I have come here straight from my quarters, I never call
it home, home is with you, and I am just dressed in a T-shirt and
jeans." said Leo.
"But that is what you always wear, or used to wear. What no glamorous
designer dress?" I laughed.
"I only dress as a woman when I am performing or need to be Sharon,
otherwise I'm Leo. Except I am, actually, still dressed as a woman. With
my figure I need to wear women's jeans, men's don't fit me anymore or
are uncomfortable. Underneath I wear a T-shirt bra, I need the support.
Unfortunately, you can see the outline of my bra under the white T-
shirt, which rather draws attention to my breasts. I rushed out without
stopping to change into a darker one. And I am wearing knickers, because
they are more comfortable with these jeans. And I am wearing heels. I
never go out as Leo, so I don't have any sensible shoes, these are the
shoes I wear for rehearsals. I am not wearing makeup, I don't need to. I
no longer have a beard, my skin is softer and my brows are shaped and I
had some minor procedures, so my face is quite femine. So even in my off
duty mode as Leo, I still look like a woman. Nobody gave me a second
look as I walked through the hospital, well I did get some admiring
glances, but thankfully I was not recognised as Sharon. So what do I
look like? I look like my twin sister, if I had one that is." said Leo.
"I thought you would be dressed as Sharon, because Sharon was you. But I
think I like the way you described yourself, and I am flattered you are
copying my usual casual style, more Primark than Chanel!" I said.
"Well I would like to think I could do better than Primark! The Sharon
Diamond wardrobe is all owned by JCE and what I'm wearing, including my
underwear, belongs to them. I don't own a stitch, even my male clothes I
was wearing when I turned up at the drag club have long gone, they
wouldn't fit me anymore anyway."
"I have kept all your things. What about your hair?" I asked, it always
looked so long, too long to be your own."
"You are right, in public I have always worn extensions or hair pieces
and sometimes a full wig. But in private I wear my own. It has grown to
shoulder length now and I have a simple cut. It has been dyed blond to
match the Sharon look. Today is the first time I have been in public,
albeit I'm incognito, with just my own hair, and I am wearing it in a
ponytail as suggested by my stylist."
"You have a stylist!" I remarked.
"I have a whole dedicated full time team provided by JCE. A stylist, a
beautician, a dresser and a dressmaker, and they have assistants. I also
have a personal assistant, who is with me all the time, she is outside,
and a minder. This is the first time I have been allowed to be with
someone on my own without JCE staff present." Leo explained.
"Even when you are on a date?" My heart skipped a beat in anticipation
of hearing Leo's answer. "Or having sex?"
"Yes, I mean no," said a confused Leo, "that is I have not been on a
date or had sex, you are the only one I wish to be with, even though I
thought you had left me. I wanted to wait until, at least, I knew our
marriage had broken down irretrievably. I'm here because I love you and
not out of a sense of duty."
"But what about all those media reports?" I asked.
"I have never been allowed access to the media, so I'm not sure what you
have read or believe," he replied, "and JCE does not allow media access
to me. The exception was on BTS when I was interviewed by the judges and
the compere."
"What about pictures of you out on dates and with lovers?" I asked
incredulously.
"I was often asked to pose for marketing photos and images to promote my
songs, which usually portrayed romantic themes, perhaps that is what you
have seen," replied Leo.
Not being able to see Leo, I was focussed on what he was saying. With
unease it began to dawn on me that Leo's life as Sharon was not as we
both believed. "Leo, I am going to describe to you the Sharon that I
believed you were, from my early contacts with your agent, but more my
perception of the public face of Sharon Diamond as portrayed in the
media."
"Sharon Diamond is a trans woman, a trans woman who loves men, both
straight and gay. A desirable easy woman who oozes rauncy sex appeal and
is making up for lost time. She is always being seen on the arm of the
latest celebrity heart-throb. She had the reputation of dropping her
knickers at every opportunity and jumping in and out of bed, and never
her own. And the public lapped it up and she became more and more
popular, and because she was a great singer they bought more and more of
her records, downloaded more and more of her songs and bought more and
more of her merchandise." As I spoke I began to realise the enormity of
it all.
"That was not my life. Where did I go wrong? How did I miss out?" Leo
said with a giggle.
"I would hit you, if I could see you," I laughed.
"Seriously, was that really how the public saw me?" Leo said with
dismay.
"That was how JCE wanted them to see you, they obviously controlled your
public image to maximise their revenue! Do you know why I tried to kill
myself?" I asked.
"No, but I didn't want to ask you about it until I thought you were
ready," he replied.
"It was because I thought you had humiliated me by inviting me to the
BRITs and then rejecting me. And then sleeping with Anton Black that
night and then hearing about it on the radio." I said with tears in my
eyes.
"No, no, no, that's not true!" he said with alarm. "They took me
straight back to my quarters after the ceremony, I didn't even attend
any parties. I did ask my PA if you could be my guest, as it was a big
night for me being shortlisted for an award, but I didn't cancel your
invite. I had also asked them to book a hotel room for us, I had hoped
you may have changed your mind about what I was told you thought of me."
"After that first week with JCE, after I last saw you, my life has been
one of work. I worked hard with my singing and dancing and at presenting
myself as a convincing female entertainer. When I wasn't working or
performing, I was in my quarters usually resting. I never spent time
with anyone but JCE staff. They said, as I was a man pretending to be a
woman and a celebrity, I would be hounded by the tabloid press and the
media and be a target for enraged homophobes and rapists. I needed to be
shielded to protect my privacy and safety. They even said that you would
also be unsafe if my true identity was discovered."
"If it wasn't so impractical and indeed painful, I would want a very
close hug with you right now," I interjected. "A hug with my true
husband, who is not the person who I had thought he had come."
He gave my hand an extra squeeze. "However, I am not so innocent and I
do have a confession. I have come to love being Sharon. Not just the
stardom, being loved by my fans and the centre of attraction, but also
the dressing up, the wearing of fabulous clothes, showing off my figure,
tottering around on heels and all the trappings of presenting as a
woman. I even think like a woman now. For two years I have been totally
immersed and coerced, driven even, into becoming Sharon. But I am still
Leo, I am still a man, I'm still your husband and I want to still be
your partner if you can accept me as I am now. If not I will go back to
being the Leo I used to be, if that is what you want."
"I want you, whatever flavour. And I see some distinct advantages to you
being a successful singer rather than a courier!" I laughed and then
said quietly. "Leo, I'm so sorry, but I am very tired now and I need to
rest."
TOGETHER AGAIN?
I woke up after a night's sleep feeling much better, I now wanted to
live. I still couldn't see because of the bandages, or move my limbs,
but I turned my head to listen to the sounds of the hospital. Then I
heard Leo's voice, "Good morning love, did you sleep well. Do you need
anything? Do you need a nurse?"
"Leo, you are here!" I called out with joy.
"I never left," he said, "I spoke to my PA and said I wanted to stay
with you. I pointed out I couldn't go anywhere, I have no cards, no
money. She saw my anguish, so she agreed and left for the night."
"Oh Leo," I sighed, "Where did you sleep?"
"In the chair, beside the bed. The one intended for you when you are out
of bed, so it wasn't too uncomfortable. I freshened up in your bathroom,
did you know you had one? At least I don't have to worry about make up
or indeed shaving."
"You should have left and slept in a bed, but I'm glad you stayed so you
were here when I awoke. Too bad I can't see you!" I said.
"I think we can do something about that!" I recognised the voice of the
doctor, he must have entered the room while we were talking. "The nurse
is going to remove your bandages, and if everything is fine she will
apply new dressings, but not over your eyes. But please do not open your
eyes until I say so, okay?"
"Yes, doctor," I confirmed as I closed my eyes in readiness. The
bandages were removed.
After a short while, the doctor said, "very good, you can open your eyes
now."
I slowly opened them, getting used to the light and a figure in front of
me came into focus, it was Leo grinning. I gasped, although he looked
exactly as I expected, it was not only the shock of seeing him after
such a long time, but also that I was seeing a woman, a very attractive
woman and I thought I wish I could look like him or do I mean her.
"Hello, Leo," I said with affection.
"Hello, Linda," he replied.
"More good news, Linda," said the doctor. We are going to remove your
constraints. Your arms are fine, we didn't want you disturbing your
bandages. But your left leg is in a splint, you will be able to stand
and walk, but with crutches. As you were unconscious for a while, I want
you to have a scan, just in case, and if you check out you can be
discharged to go home in the company of a family member or friend. I
have to continue with my rounds now, I will see you later."
Leo and I beamed at each other as we both said 'thank you' as he and the
nurse left.
"I must come home with you, but I have to speak to my PA first. She will
be here soon to take me back to my quarters. First I should tell you
about my relationship with her and her role," said Leo. I had a sinking
feeling.
He continued, "she is not my personal assistant, as such, she is
actually my supervisor, effectively my boss. I was assigned to her when
I reached the finals of the BTS. She told me that I was something
special and the agency had exciting plans for me now I was a BTS
finalist. Her name is Siobhan Diamond. She was the one I asked to invite
you to the BRITs, she agreed as she knew all about you. She had asked me
about my dedication at BTS final and I told her about you and the last
time I saw you was a week after I started with JCE. Later she told me
she had made the arrangements as I had asked. She is with me nearly all
the time, except when I'm in my quarters. She lives in the penthouse
above. I'll go and see if she has arrived. Would you like to meet her?"
"Yes, I think I would," I replied as I said to myself 'she has shared my
husband's life for nearly two years, of course we had to meet!'.
Leo left and about ten minutes later came back with a smartly dressed
slim young woman, probably in her late twenties. You could not help
notice her magnificent mane of red hair. Leo introduced us. She sat in
the visitor's chair while Leo went back to the patient's chair.
"Hello, Linda, it is nice to meet at long last, but I wish it was under
better circumstances. How are you? Sorry, I didn't bring any grapes as I
was not expecting to visit you. Well perhaps not grapes," she laughed. I
thought she was quite charming.
"Leo has told me you can go home today on crutches, but you need
somebody to be with you. He wants, and should be, the one and he tells
me there is no one else," said Siobhan.
"Yes, that's right since I saw Leo in that drag review I have been alone
and I have missed him. I withdrew into myself and didn't socialise, I
just went to work. So there is really nobody I can turn to in such short
notice." I replied.
"There is something not quite right here. I was told you refused to see
Leo after seeing him in the drag review and you wanted no further
contact." she said.
"No that's not true!" I cried, "I was expecting to see him after the
review, but I was told it was not possible to see any of the performers.
I did see him again in cabaret at one of your clubs as preparation for
BTS, but again I was not given the opportunity to see him. Yesterday was
the first time I have seen for two years, well today to actually see
him!"
"There is something that Leo does not know about me," she said. , "I am
the daughter of Jack Dymond, the owner of Jack of Clubs Enterprises. So
I have some influence with the staff. I arranged for the BRITs
invitation, but when my father found out he had you removed from the
guest list and cancelled the hotel account."
"It was the manager of the club in your town, the one who discovered
Leo's talent, who told me about your accident, he had seen it on the
local TV news and he knew you were Leo's wife. I rushed Leo here
yesterday, my father doesn't know anything about this," explained
Siobhan.
"I am very grateful you did, reuniting with Leo has literally saved me.
What you don't know is when I woke up yesterday, I was determined to try
again to end my life. It is being with him and finding out about the
truth about each other that has changed my mind and made me determined
not to let him go again," I replied.
Leo added, "I don't want to leave Linda now we are reconnected and she
nearly died because of me. I have had blinkers on and have believed too
easily what I have been told. I have been behaving like a diva. Now she
needs me more than ever before."
"I have an idea, but I need to get my father's agreement and there are
some details that I need to sort out. Provided nobody finds out you are
Sharon, or takes your photo, take a few days off and go home with Linda.
I have enough material on video to keep your public presence going
without an apparent break. During your time off, agree between the two
of you whether you want to stay together or not. If you decide to live
apart, then I will fetch Leo and that will be the end of it."
Shioban paused and then said, "to stay together there is only one
option. Linda has to come and live with Leo and no one must know. Linda
will need to leave your job and move out of your house. You cannot bring
anything with you except other than essential and cherished personal
belongings. No one must know where you went. It must never be known that
Sharon Diamond is married."
"Why can't I just resign and go back to my old life? Or even embark on a
singing career as a man?" Leo asked.
"I was afraid you would ask me that," sighed Siohban. "There was only
one standard break clause in your contract, and that was at the end of
the first week in case it didn't work out. Only JCE can terminate your
contract now. My father makes too much money out of you for him to agree
to change your contract and he has longer term plans for you once your
singing career is over."
"What if I challenged the contract in court? It must be illegal," asked
Leo.
"I am sure you are right, but my father has other ways to enforce a
contract. JCE controls all of Sharon's social media accounts, they
created Sharon's public image and they can destroy you and Linda. You do
not want to know about the other ways."
"Could we change our identities and live together away from all this?" I
asked, after all we should have enough savings and there will be
royalties on Sharon's recordings."
"Leo's only income is as stated in the contract which has been paid
regularly into your joint bank account. I'm afraid JCE keeps all the
revenue and owns all assets relating to Leo as Sharon," explained
Siobhan. Leo and I looked at each other in shock and were speechless.
"Linda will be able to live with you in your JCE quarters with all her
needs met, including as an invalid for the time being as we have a
company nurse."
"So what do we do now?" Leo asked me.
"I just want to go home with you and let it all sink in. Then we will
let Siobhan know our decision, although I'm afraid it is going to be
Hobson's Choice," I replied. "Siobhan, how can we contact you?"
"You can't contact me, but if you give me a phone number I'll keep in
touch. I will stay here today with you, if you don't mind, I would like
to get to know you both better. When the hospital gives the all clear,
I'll take you both home. My father is going to be furious, I'll try and
give you as much time as possible before I come to collect Leo with or
without you. I'm truly sorry." The nurse then entered the room to get
Linda ready to go home.
BACK HOME
It was bliss having Leo at home. The village shop owner was happy for me
to take a week off at short notice, we were never really that busy. I
didn't mention Leo, I never said anything, and nobody ever asked, but
the rumours were that he had left me. We just spent our time together at
home, Leo couldn't go out in case he was recognised. We talked, we made
love, we enjoyed each other's company again, we talked, we made love.
Despite my broken leg being an impediment.
Leo would spend periods exercising, to keep fit and supple for his dance
routines and, he rather sheepishly admitted, to keep his figure toned
and trim. They were women's routines, but he told me that was what he
was taught. They were quite different from the exercises he used to do
when he played rugby. On the second day I joined in. He also exercised
his voice, always his female singing voice. In the hospital he had used
a feminine speaking voice, in case someone overheard, but when talking
at home he used his normal voice. He joked that he needed to still talk
as a man in case he lost his vocal range. He wore his old clothes. When
he exercises he wears his rugby shirt and shorts, which he had always
looked sexy in, but with his narrower waist and breasts he looks even
more sexy, but as the opposite gender.
One evening I decided to confront the elephant in the room by broaching
the questions of our future and Leo's gender and sexuality. His love
making and peformance in bed left little room for doubt about his
sexuality but he could be a born again bisexual.
"Leo," I said in a serious tone, "I handed in my notice to the shop this
morning. I know we haven't discussed it, but I'm coming with you to JCE;
I am never going to be apart from you again. But I want to ask you,
about you as Sharon, and what you feel and want. I'm willing to accept
whatever you wish to be, but it would be easier for me to adjust if I
knew and understood. I have made my decision so you do not need to worry
and can tell me how you really feel inside."
"I feel like a man inside! And, as for staying together, we are of the
same mind, as we have always been. I don't want to leave you, even if it
means running away together. But as for the second part, I too need to
better understand myself and our relationship. The changes I have been
through the past two years were not of my choosing, I am conflicted as I
do enjoy what I have become."
"I have noticed! When you look at yourself in the mirror it is just like
a woman admiring her appearance and with pride in her body." I
commented. "But when I look at you, outwardly I see the woman you have
become, and I am no longer attracted to you." Leo looked crestfallen.
"That came out wrong! What I meant is that I would not have found you
sexually attracted if we had just met. But I can see the inner you, I
see Leo the man I fell in love with and married. And of course you
retain your number one asset, something I would recognise as yours
anywhere!" I took his hand. "So you have nothing to worry from me about
you looking and presenting as a woman, especially as you are more
successful as a female entertainer than you were as a courier driver."
"Well that is a comfort," sighed Leo. "I have come to like the way I am,
but I am happy to go back to the old me. The trouble is that I would
need a magic wand to do so! Although being with you as a weird looking
guy would be my choice over not being with you."
"Do you want to be a woman, that is to go all the way and have the op?"
I asked with a firm but quizzical look. "What gender do you want to be,
now or in the future?"
"That is an easy question. I do not consider myself transgender and I
am, and wish to remain a man. I wouldn't rule out physical changes to
improve or maintain my looks, but only to keep up appearances to avoid
embarrassment and unwelcome questioning."
"Are they the only reasons? Be truthful to yourself Leo," I queried.
Leo was silent for a while, as if I had just made him think. He then
spoke. "I have spent the last two years being groomed and cajoled into
being a woman. The focus was on my femine looks and behaviour. So I, yes
I suppose, have been conditioned to behave and think just like a woman
and want to do and look the best I can."
"I'm no behavioural expert, but it is clear to me you now have a female
persona," I commented. "But I am a Leo expert, and I can see you still
have your original male persona, it has been coming to the fore since
you got home and being treated as Leo again."
"So I am perhaps best described as a professional female entertainer who
behaves and thinks like a woman, enjoys being a glamorous woman and in
her appearance, and being treated as a woman," announced Leo. "But also
I am a husband who is a man in private, keeps to his wedding vows,
enjoys a normal sexual relationship with his wife, wears items of
women's clothing as an expediency or because it is practical, but not
for sexual pleasure. In a nutshell, I am a straight, married, non-
compulsive crossdresser." Leo looked at his nails, which I found
amusing, and continued. "So to answer your question, my gender is
occupationally female and privately male and my sexuality is male. Does
that make sense? Oh, and I am not drawn to men."
"I can go with that," I smiled.
"I never really thought about it until now. For two years the only
contact I had with other people was as a woman, I was only ever referred
to as 'she' or 'her' and called 'Sharon', 'Miss' or 'Madam', 'dear' or
'love', though after a while I did like being called Madam. The only
compliments I received were about my femine appearance or performance
and I was only ever dressed as a woman. In my quarters, I reverted to
being a man, but I was on my own and I still had to wear women's
clothing. And my only sexual activity was relieving myself while
thinking of you, even though I had been told you didn't want anything
more to do with me. I am pleased that this week our sex life has
returned near normal, even if more intensive. It has been reassuring
that my sexuality has not been influenced, making love with you is what
I enjoy and I'm looking forward to your full recovery, but I'm not
looking to try new horizons!"
We had been home a week when my phone rang, I looked at the caller ID
and it said 'private number', it must be Siobhan I thought. "Hello," I
answered, too nervous to say who I was.
"Hi Linda, it's Siobhan. I held out as long as possible but I need to
come and pick up Leo. Am I picking you up as well?"
"We have discussed it and yes I'm coming too. I do not want to be
separated from Leo ever again," I replied.
"I'm pleased you are staying together and I hope we can be good friends,
as Leo's supervisor I am going to be around all the time! See you
later," she said.
WE MEET THE OWNER
We arrived at JCE's corporate building, where Leo's quarters were, and
made our way up to near the top of the building. The security was tight
and extensive. Leo's quarters were large enough for two and I quickly
settled in. I was surprised there were no signs of Sharon. Leo said his
quarters were for his time off and not for work.
There was a knock on the door, it was Siobhan. "Hi Linda, my father
would like to meet you and Leo in the penthouse in about an hour. I will
come down and fetch you."
An hour later we were being introduced to Jack Dymond. "Hello Mrs James,
a pleasure to meet you, I am so sorry about your accident. I hope you
will recover soon," he said before turning to Leo, "Mr James, at long
last we meet. Sharon Diamond is our most profitable revenue stream so we
have to take special care of you!"
"Thank you sir, I didn't even know you existed until a week ago. I do
enjoy working with your daughter and I hope we can work well together
too," Leo said in response.
Jack didn't seem to hear what Leo was saying. And my mind was full of
evil thoughts, this was the man who kept us apart in case it stopped him
making him money, and it was his actions that lead to my suicide
attempt.
"I will tell you this. I was angry with what my daughter had arranged
for you, Mrs James, but I then saw an opportunity," said Jack abruptly
and then he looked at me in the eyes with a smirk. "You being here has
changed the dynamic and allows me to move Sharon Diamond's career to a
new level. When she went off script at the BTS final and dedicated her
song to a very special person who she had lost contact with, it caused
all sorts of headaches for us. We managed to clamp down on speculation,
especially on social media. We had to stop at all costs you being
discovered and exposed as Miss Diamond's wife. So we decided that Miss
Diamond would not make any further public experiences, although we had
to chance it for the BRITs as she had to be there in person. When I
discovered that you had been invited I stopped it, it was too big a
risk."
"But now we can move onto a new phase and allow public appearances. We
will be able to make money from shows and performances, appearances and
promotions and lastly as a celebrity escort." He remained silent for a
moment. Siobhan looked puzzled.
"Mrs James you will remain here in this building, you will stay in your
quarters unless being escorted. You are effectively a captive for the
foreseeable future. While you behave, I'll honour my daughter's foolish
promise and you can be with your husband in your quarters and when he is
working in the building for rehearsals, wardrobe, and so on. But that is
not all."
He turned to Leo. "Miss Diamond, I've just greeted you as Mr James, but
it is Miss Diamond as far as I am concerned. I own you and you will do
exactly as I tell you. You would not want to behave or say anything out
of line; I will be holding Mrs James here as a hostage. As a final
sanction, I can always arrange another suicide attempt and it will be
successful this time. I am sure you will do your best to maximise your
worth and not to upset me." Jack said with a smirk.
"I've left the best bit to last. Sharon Diamond will now be seen dating
for real, you will escort clients for publicity purposes or if they pay
for the privilege. Certain clients and friends of mine like to have a
famous star on their arm at an event or party, but they don't go for
real girls and they want someone like you to enjoy afterwards. In
private you will provide whatever services they pay for or I generously
offer. Not only are you a famous female singer, you will become a
scandalised socialite, an A-list hoar. I have my daughter to thank for
this gift," gloated Jack.
"I have read your file, Miss Diamond. I see you were originally spotted
at one of our talent shows as a potential cabaret act for our clubs. But
at the drag review, my personal staff realised you had greater potential
as one of our special drag queens. That's when we started you started on
hormones, a concoction that preserved your manhood which I am sure your
wife is very pleased to hear," chuckled Jack. "It is standard procedure,
so that we can pimp our drag queens when they lose their audience
appeal, and if they disappoint we can get a good price for shemales
through our dark web online auction site." Jack then turned to me. "We
can also get a good price for you too, Mrs James, as a slave."
"But with Miss Diamond winning BTS, we became more ambitious and decided
to upgrade you to a trans female entertainer, you are a unique asset in
my organisation. You're in the capable hands of my daughter, but bear in
mind what I said."
"Come with me please," Siobhan told us. We followed her out of the
penthouse and down to our quarters. When we were inside, she said to us
in tears, "I'm so sorry" and left.
It was late, so we crawled into bed and hugged each other, we cried with
joy being together again and we cried because we were horrified by what
might happen. In the morning Leo turned to me and said, "I've been
thinking about it all night, I just have to do what I have to do and
learn to live with it. Most of the time I do expect to be Sharon the
singer and not Sharon the courtesan."
"I'm sure someone will come to our rescue, darling. We'll get through
this somehow together," I reassured him.
OUR LIFE AT THE AGENCY
We settled into a routine. Leo would go off to work, as it were, and I
was the stay-at-home wife, albeit I had no choice. When he got back,
which could be at all hours, depending if he was performing a show or
not, I would ask how his day was. He would usually tell me what he had
been doing and it was clear he was enjoying himself which made me happy.
If he was rehearsing or having a costume fitting in the building I would
join him.
Then one day Siobhan came and sat with me in the staff restaurant, I
could use staff facilities if I behaved myself, I was too scared not to
toe the line. We chatted and then she became serious. "Linda, do you
mind if I ask you a question?" I shook my head. "Would you like to be my
assistant? With the shows and the public experiences Leo is now doing, I
am finding it difficult to cope. I can't pay you under the
circumstances, but I expect you are bored and would like to be more
involved in Leo's career. I have noticed that you are helping to choose
his outfits when you have been with him. What do you think?"
"Oh, I would love too, it is almost like a dream job, except for the
bits about my husband being a famous trans woman and not being paid.
When Leo and I graduated from university it was the middle of a
financial crisis and we missed out on graduate jobs, I really would like
the opportunity to start realising my potential," I replied
enthusiastically.
"Great, you can start now! Come with me to my office. And if there is
anything you are going to find difficult to deal with, just let me know,
and I'll take over, we will be working as a team. And don't worry my
father never comes into my office. He summons me!"
Leo and I didn't enjoy any freedoms, we had no choices, I couldn't leave
the building, but we enjoyed our roles. We were closer now than we would
have been if we were still living our normal lives.
Sharon received her fist invite to a public engagement. All Leo's
costumes were for his performances, on stage or video, he had very few
clothes suitable for being in public, he had never needed a handbag for
example. So we had to decide what Sharon's public persona was going to
be. We went for an elegant society look, with exclusive clothes and
accessories as befitting Sharon's status as a diva and her apparent
wealth. We decided Leo would wear a matching dress and jacket made by
JCE's dressmaker to a design inspired by Chanel. We teamed it with court
shoes with iconic red soles and a bag that was worth more than I used to
earn in a month. We added discrete diamond and gold jewelry; a pendant,
earrings, two rings and a bracelet, and a Cartier watch. He looked the
part and was stunning. He was nervous at first at meeting members of the
public, but he soon relaxed and his outgoing stage persona spilled over
into public life.
Leo had been in the studio recording a new album of Bond movie songs.
Today he had been on set shooting the first of the videos. When he got
back home, it was clear he wanted to get something off his chest. "Hi,
honey, how was your day?" I said mimicking a housewife.
"We have been filming the first video for the Bond album," he answered,
"it was 'Under the Mango Tree' from 'Dr No'."
"Was that the scene where Ursula Andress walks out of the ocean?" I
asked sheepishly.
"Yes," he then paused, "they are recreating the scene with me in a
bikini just like her, and not only that, they then cut to me on the
beach in a wet shirt tied at my midriff hand in hand with Anton Black
playing James Bond! I am so embarrassed." I gave him a reassuring hug,
not telling him I had made the arrangements, after Siobhan had put my
mind at rest and said Anton would be the perfect gentleman.
"Not only that, we are also doing the theme from 'Goldfinger'. I was
thrilled with my interpretation of the Shirley Bassey classic, but for
the video I'll be wearing a gold bikini and covered in gold body paint
just like Shirley Eaton," said Leo anxiously.
"I hope they will leave a bare patch so your skin can breathe," I
laughed.
MY HUSBAND A COURTESAN
It had to happen one day, a request came into the office from upstairs
for Sharon to be Anton Black's escort to the BAFTAs. He was shortlisted
for Best Actor, so it was going to be the awards ceremony, the official
afterparty and then as Anton wished. Siobhan said she would take care of
the arrangements, but thought I would like to be there for the fitting
of the gown. It was from the designer who lent the dress for the BRITs
and he had a tremendous boost. He was keen for Sharon to wear another of
his creations, this time especially designed for her. Apparently, he
worked up some ideas some time ago hoping Sharon would be on the red
carpet again.
"I know you know about the BAFTAs," Leo said to me later. "As you also
know I have no choice. I'll have to take it as it comes. Apparently, a
condition for such a service is that I must not be harmed in any way,
I'm still worth more as a singer. But I have to say, I'm looking forward
to trying on the gown!" I was fully onboard with Leo's uncovered passion
for women's clothes, the more glamorous the better. I think I enjoyed it
as much as he did.
The day of the BAFTAs arrived, but it was also the day of another
significant event for me. It was the day my leg splint was to be removed
and I could discard the crutches. The significant event was that I could
now have full sex with Leo. We had both gone without since the night
before Leo was separated from me a long time ago.
I went down to the company medical centre, I couldn't return to the
hospital. They removed the splint, checked me over and gave me the all
clear. We didn't discuss that I could now have pentrative sex, but it
was knowingly implied.
I made my way to where Leo was getting dressed to help get him ready. As
I entered, I gave him the thumbs grinning from ear to ear. He had just
stripped down to his bra and knickers, but the dresser said, "everything
Leo!" She was one of the very few insiders who knew us as Leo and Linda,
bringing on her on board made it so much easier. "Strapless bra
tonight," she said as she handed him a bra and a very skimpy thong, but
roomy where it needed to be. Leo then put on a robe and sat down so his
hairdresser could do his hair. We had decided that it was time for
Sharon's first public appearance with his own hair, it was now long
enough. His stylist out did herself with an elegant and rather
complicated updo.
After being made up, Leo slipped on his shoes. They had slender five
inch heels, I don't know how he could walk, let alone dance, in them.
When I tried on a pair I had difficulty standing.
His gown was of a simple design. It was an off-the-shoulder column gown
in blush pink silk with a deep plunge. The hem of the skirt fell to the
floor and that was with those heels. The critics were later to praise
Leo as the best dressed woman on the red carpet.
I went upstairs to our quarters. The BAFTAs were being shown live on TV
and I wanted to catch Leo's appearance with Anton Black. The cameras
caught the limousine arriving. The door was opened and Anton emerged and
waved to the excited crowd. He then turned and offered his hand as Leo
gracefully got out of the car beaming at Anton and then at the crowd who
became more excited. Leo took Anton's arm and they started down the red
carpet to the interview area. I was amazed how graceful Sharon, she was
Sharon now, glided down the carpet, she was the star.
They stopped so that Anton could be interviewed, he was the favourite to
win best actor. As he answered questions about his chances and an
upcoming new film release, Sharon stood there holding on to his arm and
gazing at him with a look that said 'this is my man'. I became emotional
as feelings of jealousy came over me. I wanted to be there, I wanted to
be wearing that fabulous gown, I wanted to be hanging to my husband's
arm. I wanted to be seen with Sharon.
When it came to the ceremony and the announcement of the best actor
nominees, the camera focussed on Anton and Sharon. And when Anton was
announced as the winner, they turned to each other and hugged, Anton
gave Sharon a kiss on the lips before heading for the dias to receive
his award.
I had no idea when Leo would be home, but I was determined to stay up
and wait for him. I chose 'Brief Encounter' to watch, I wanted a
romantic film but forgot that the plot follows a passionate extramarital
affair which awoke my irrational fears of Leo and Anton. But it had been
a long day and I dropped off to sleep on the sofa.
I felt a kiss on my lips and I woke with a jolt to see Leo's grinning
face. "Sorry to wake you darling, but we need to get to bed," whispered
Leo. He had changed, all Sharon's things had to go back to Wardrobe and
the gown to be ready to return to the fashion house.
"But I want to hear all about tonight," I pleaded with some
apprehension. "Then I want you! You were sensational on the red carpet,
the attention was on you and not Anton. There was a chemistry between
you two, which the commentators picked up on and declared you an item. I
am quite jealous."
Leo looked horrified, "You should know me by now! There's nothing to be
jealous about."
"Oh yes there is," I relied, "I wanted to wear that gown!" We both
laughed, Leo with relief.
"So what was Anton like? What happened at the afterparty?" I asked, "or
should I say, after the afterparty."
"He was a charming gentleman. He asked me if I was pre-op, and given
what Jack had threatened, I said yes. He then asked if my manhood was
diminished or still firing, and I admitted to still firing. He looked
pleased," I replied.
"At the afterparty we behaved like a couple who were comfortable with
each other and it was for real, I wasn't pretending for the other guests
and gossip columnists. He was romantic and thoughtful and very touchy-
feely, but he wasn't groping or being over intimate. But he is gay and
now knew I was man underneath," said my husband.
I was starting to feel for Leo as he carried on. "As guests started to
go on elsewhere, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and took my hand and
said it was time to leave. We left through a back exit and to another
car, not the limo we came in. When in the car, he turned to me and told
me that he had enjoyed the evening and my company. He had had pleasure
accompanying me to the BRITs and wanted to return the favour. I wasn't
paying much attention to where we were going, I was wondering what
personal service Jack had promised Anton I would deliver, when we drew
up outside the JCE building. He leaned over and gave me a kiss on the
cheek and said that he hoped I would enjoy the rest of the night and
winked. As the driver helped me out of the car, Anton said that he
wished that one day we could all become good friends."
"So, Sharon is still a virgin! But is Leo ready to end his two years of
famine?" I asked with a grin.
"You bet he is, but what about you?" he replied. We consummated our
reunion that night.
Over the next few months Leo finished his new album and the videos. I
really enjoyed working with Siobhan and him. Even though I am confined
to the JCE building, I wouldn't want to go back to working in the
village shop, but I do miss chatting to some of the regulars.
DARK CLOUDS
One morning we had just finished breakfast when there was a knock on our
door. This was unusual, Siobhan usually rang if there was a change in
the schedule. I opened the door and there was a young man who I vaguely
recognised. Then I remembered he was the man who chaperoned me when Leo
performed his first cabaret act in the run up to the TV talent show.
"Hello David," I said, he looked surprised, "How are you?"
"I'm good thanks," he replied without emotion, "Miss Diamond and you are
to come with me now. Miss Dymond has been informed you will not be
available today."
"Okay, I call Leo. Can you give us ten minutes?" I asked.
"There is no need to get ready, just come as you are," he replied. Leo
then appeared, he was dressed in 'male' mode, which of course for him
was T-shirt and jeans, no makeup and hair pulled into a low ponytail
and still looking more woman than me!
We followed David to a part of the building that was unfamiliar and had
very few people about. We entered a dressing room. "Both of you, take
off all your clothes and somebody will be with you shortly to do your
hair and make up." Leo looked as if was about to say something but David
said, "Now!" and left the room.
"What is going on?" Leo asked me as he pulled off his T-shirt.
"I have no idea, but I think we better do what he says. I have met him
before, he was the one who would not let me come and see you when you
did that cabaret show in the club, the last time I saw you before the
hospital. He wasn't particularly friendly then, his role appeared to be
more of a minder than a host. I suggest we just do as they ask," I
replied. We stripped down to our underwear. It still amused me that Leo
wore the same plain modern style that I wear and today we were both
wearing dark grey. He can now choose his own off-duty clothes and I
wonder if it is because I'm his only role model or we just have similar
tastes like couples do. I was flattered.
David reentered the room with a young woman. "Miss Diamond, take off
your knickers and lie down over there," he said pointing to a bed. "You
will both be having your pubic hair shaved off. "
Leo I did as he told. "Hello," he said to the woman as she prepared Leo,
"How are you Kate?" Leo turned to me, "Kate was one the team at the drag
review who feminised me, I haven't seen her since." Kate didn't respond
and quickly shaved Leo, who now had no body hair at all.
David then turned to me and said, "your turn." I gave him a puzzled
look. "This is not up for discussion. But I will let you know what is
going on and you will cooperate. Both of you are to have videos and
stills taken. Mr Dymond has decided it is time for Miss Diamond to
prepare to be a courtesan. For her first 'service', Mr Dymond will be
able to charge a premium. She will always be a major asset while she is
a celebrity, but she is something extra, a virgin, a virgin that is for
the sex she will be providing. A video, showing her assets, will be put
together and uploaded to our special services dark web site. Punters
will make a nonrefundable bid to take part in an auction. The six
highest bidders will be invited to the auction, which will also be
streamed, and they will be able to examine you and ask questions. Mr
Dymond will then decide who the lucky winner will be, based on what they
are proposing and the final fee. The more damage they could do to you
and the longer the time you will be away from your entertainment work
with JCE, the more they will have to pay."
Leo and I looked at each other in dismay and to seek comfort. "Mrs
James, you will be offered as an option. Some of our clients may like
the idea of a threesome or have their way with the wife before moving on
to the main course," David chuckled, briefly encroaching into his
otherwise authoritative demeanor. "But, the main reason, Mrs James, is
that you are a hostage to Miss Diamond's cooperation and good behaviour.
As a punishment, we will be able to act quickly and offer you on our
website, to provide a special service or to sell you depending on the
seriousness of the disobedience."
I was now in the same hairless state as Leo. Kate applied makeup to both
us, in an erotic style but not overdone. "Please take off your bras and
put these on and follow me," said Kate when she had finished our hair.
She handed both of us a pair of shoes with six-inch heels that would do
a courtesan proud. Perched on those heels, I struggled to match Leo's
grace. We passed through a door into a photo studio.
We both went through a series of shots, mainly views to show off our
completely nude bodies than poses for portraits. Most were of Leo, but
some of us together and some on my own. Only the photographer's
directions broke the silence.
, "You are known as a famous and glamorous singer, but as a courtesan
you will also be known as a desirable she-male," said David smirking at
Leo. "We now want to shoot you showing an erection. Mrs James, assist
your husband." I was embarrassed, David saw this. "Do not be bashful,
privacy no longer belongs to you. Just get used to it."
The atmosphere was threatening and Leo was also embarrassed. This was
intimate between the two of us, not to be seen by or shared with others.
But worse was yet to come, literally. "Now I want you to bring your
husband to a climax. We wish to show that, despite the wonderful effect
hormones have had on her body, she is not damaged goods. Just to get on
with it and allow the semen to sprout freely, but be careful not to
block the camera view."
I was so embarrassed that I just stroked Leo like an automaton. He was
slow to come, which was not surprising given the circumstances. But
David looked please, too quick would not be good.
We dressed and were led back to the main JCE offices, we were apparently
in an area where unauthorised persons had to be escorted. We got back to
our quarters, it was nearly lunchtime but we weren't hungry and we
wondered what we should do, when the phone extension rang. Leo answered
it, he knew I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone. He listened to the
call and then replied, "Yes, of course, we will see you later," and put
down the receiver.
"It was Siobhan," Leo said to me, "she heard that we were called away by
her father's private office. Her plans for us today had been cancelled
and we can take the rest of the day off. But she would like to have
dinner with us this evening, but here in our quarters. She has asked the
canteen to prepare something simple for us and it would be casual. I
agreed, she was insistent and she is our boss."
The food arrived, it may have been simple, but it looked and smelt
delicious; well it had been ordered by the boss's daughter. Talking of
whom, she arrived a few moments later. We had become close enough now
that when alone we would greet each other with a hug, air kiss for me
but kiss on the cheek for Leo. He only did air kisses as Sharon, he said
it was a male female thing. We laid the food on the table and sat down.
After some small talk, Siobhan said, "Anything we talk about tonight
will and must remain between the three of us and cannot be talked about
later if there is a chance we can be overheard. I am serious, our safety
may depend on it."
"After today, you can be sure of it," said Leo.
"Can you tell me what happened?" she asked. "Please don't leave anything
out however embarrassing." Leo told her everything, looking at me now
and again for confirmation.
"It is what I was expecting and fearing. I am not privy to my father's
affairs, but I have the impression that he was under pressure to make
you available. He has been putting it off because Sharon is making him a
lot of money as an entertainer. The only good news is that he is going
to auction Leo off as a virgin, which will take time and means you are
safe until it is time to deliver. We need to fill up Sharon's diary with
personal appearances and commitments. The most affluent clients are
overseas which could mean being away for some time, it is unlikely to be
a one-night stand, and a full diary may delay the inevitable for a
little longer"
Leo and I just sat there in silence, unconsciously sipping our wine. So
Sharon continued.
"My father's private office is not part of JCE, but he uses the
organisation to hide his dark operations and to source its assets, as it
likes to call them. These assets are the drag queens from the review,
commandeered when they cease to be as valuable as entertainers. They are
transferred from JCE to a separate company, called QCS, or Queen of
Clubs Services, a legal entity for show but with a large illegal hidden
part just like an iceberg. As far I am aware, Leo became a special
project since his success at the drag review. I was responsible for
Sharon's development with JCE and I suspect David for Leo's future role
for QCS. It has been fortunate that Leo, as Sharon, has been a public
success beyond all expectations."
"It was David who came up and spoke to Tinkerbelle at the end of Leo's
performance at the drag review. I got the impression he had told
Tinkerbelle not to let me see Leo as expected," I said.
"Quite frankly there is little we can do, my father's people are very
powerful and have cranked up Linda's potential as a hostage. JCE's
security report directly to my father's office, so please do not take
chances, the risks are too high. I'll do what I can, but I can't promise
anything. I did need to go now, I don't want my father to start asking
questions. I'll see you both tomorrow, and hopefully it will all be a
normal day. Good night and try to get some sleep."
CLEAR SKIES
We had heard nothing about the auction for a couple months. We were just
finishing a dress fitting, when Siobhan asked both of us to come with
her to her office. "I have some news for you," she said as we sat down,
"last week we were informed that my father had been officially declared
dead while on a business trip to eastern Europe. The rumour, which I can
easily believe, is that he had crossed some rather unpleasant business
associates and they faked his death for revenge and as a lesson for
others. Apparently he is well under way to being feminised and
transformed into a bimbo and grotesque sex slave for their personal
pleasure. We have been told we will never hear from him, or her, again."
We were shocked, Leo said, "We are so sorry."
"Don't be," she responded, "he was my stepfather and we didn't get on,
but my mother insisted he employed me. The proposal to promote you as a
recording artist, and not just a club singer, had just been put to him
so he decided to put me in charge of your legitimate career, to keep me
away from the seedier side of his business. I am relieved he is no
longer around."
"Over the last week, the new ownership and management of the company has
been approved," she paused for a moment. "My mother has inherited his
estate, including JCE. She is now the Chair of the Board and they have
agreed to appoint me Chief Executive, so I now run this company with my
Mum's help."
"Congratulations," I said but I wondered what would now happen to us.
Siobhan had occasionally gone out a limb for us, but I wasn't sure where
she stood.
"Thank you," she said before continuing. "Mum now knows about the both
of you two and your background, who Sharon Black really is and the
control her husband had exerted over you, your servitude with JCE and
the obscene amount of money he personally made out of you. We have
discussed your positions and we are going to rectify past unfairness and
offer you new contracts."
"I have asked our finance director to assess your net earnings, Leo as a
contracted artist and Linda as my assistant, and we are going to add a
sum as compensation for the lack of freedom, assault, forced
feminisation and grief you suffered. You are both going to become very
well off," she said with a grin.
"That's an amazing thing to do," Leo said with astonishment.
"Mum and I think it is the least we can do, don't forget a good part of
the fortune left by Jack was down to you and we still retain a fair
share. It makes good business sense and is the moral thing to do. We
want JCE to be an ethical business. We have closed my father's private
office, closed QCS and made all non-JCE employees and those close to my
father with no real job descriptions redundant. We have retained a few
we think we can trust to help find QCS victims and provide help and
rehabilitation depending on the circumstances. Fortunately most of
JCE's businesses, as well as staff and clients, are above board, but we
are taking steps to make sure the company is clean. Of course, you can
sue us for more compensation and retribution, but we hope you help us
pull through."
"By the way, you need not worry about the promo pictures for the
auction. Some editing had taken place, but they had never left the
studio. We have deleted all of them," said Siobhan. "If you believe the
stories you read on the internet, there is probably a surplus of
shemales on the market which probably dampened down demand, so there was
no urgency."
"Oh that's a pity. I was going to use the one with Linda holding my
prick for our Christmas Card this year," said Leo chuckling. Both
Siobhan and we were silent for a moment and I burst out laughing and the
other two joined in. I didn't think it was that funny, but is more the
relief of not having the Sword of Damocles hanging over us.
"And now your future. Leo's contract is unenforceable and Linda doesn't
have one. So you're free to leave with your compensation and go back to
your old life. And I hope we can stay friends. Or I can sign up Leo as
one of our artists, our star artist actually, and employ Linda to be his
personal manager. Of course, it could be as Leo, as himself, or even the
novelty act that brought you to JCE's attention. But with an album
coming out I am hoping it will be Leo as Sharon."
We both looked at each other and grinned. We know each other so well so
without discussion, I looked at Siobhan and said, "as Sharon."
"Excellent, I'm really pleased. I think we have a long future ahead,
successful torch singers don't fade away. I am very conscious of your
privacy, how open we are is up to you, I would favour being open about
Leo and your marriage, it makes things easier. It is a long tradition
for an artist of one gender to play the other, but in this case as Leo
is something special and he does have the voice, body, looks and natural
grace of the other gender!"
"As his manager and hidden away wife, I agree with you. My first task as
personal manager is to discuss this matter with my client," I said
looking at a buoyant Leo, "and let you know how we want to play this."
"Well to help you decide, I will tell you that I'm going to divide the
penthouse into two. The part I already live in will be the basis of one
residence, which I will continue to live in, and the second residence
will be yours, if you wish, to give you security and keep you away from
prying eyes."
"Wow," said Leo.
"Now, I have another surprise for you," said Siobhan, "I have arranged a
small celebratory dinner in the penthouse tonight. My Mum, who is now
your big boss after all, knows all about Sharon, her company's top
artist, but now she wants to know the real you and she would really like
to meet the both of you. And I have a surprise guest. Shall we say eight
o'clock? Dress casual and, Leo, come as yourself."
AFTERPARTY
Leo wasn't sure what Siobhan meant when she said 'come as yourself'. Did
she mean dressed in his usual T-shirt and jeans? Not quite the right
impression when meeting the new owner for the first time. Luckily, we
had bought some of his old clothes from home that still fitted him of
sorts, so he decided to wear a shirt, chinos and loafers. He looked much
smarter.
We couldn't go out to buy anything to take as guests, well not yet
anyway as security may not yet know of our new status, so I made some
chocolates to enjoy after the dinner. Just after eight we rang the
penthouse doorbell and Siobhan welcomed us in and we walked through to
the living area. "Mum, this is Leo and his wife Linda," said Siobhan. A
lady who looked too young to be Siobhan's mother embraced us in turn and
she said she was looking forward to getting to know us. "Anton, this is
Linda and you know Leo, or rather his alter ego." You should have seen
the surprise on our faces.
Anton gave me a kiss on the cheek and shook Leo by the hand. "I pleased
to meet you Linda, at long last, and to meet the real Leo."
An excited Siobhan chipped in, "I have known Anton since he was an up-
and-coming actor on our agency's books, he became my BGF. It was me who
asked him to escort you to the BRITs, being up for an award you couldn't
go without a companion and Anton was a safe pair of hands."
"Siobhan's right, Leo's not actually my type, as Sharon or Leo! I was
delighted to help out and Siobhan told me that she had also invited
Linda so I could react accordingly when we met, which regrettably never
happened. We had to put on a show, Jack demanded it, but I was horrified
with the media speculation and Linda's subsequent suicide attempt. I am
so so sorry, I hope you can forgive me," said Anton.
"I was really upset with what I heard on the radio, and I had not seen
my husband for so long. I never blamed you, you have nothing to be sorry
about." I said to Anton.
"I appreciate your sentiments. With Leo I was always acting, my kisses
were only acting. Linda, there were no tongues, I promise! And Leo, when
I asked about your manhood it was because Siobhan had told me you were a
straight crossdresser and not trans, but I did wonder. You showed a
perfect figure when wearing your bikini on the Dr No shoot! And she did
hint that you both were hoping for a long-awaited special occasion on
the same day as the awards ceremony."
"When Anton was nominated for a BAFTA," said Siobhan, "I thought I would
deflect Jack's intentions for Sharon, by asking Anton to take you to the
awards. The idea was to protect Leo and make sure he could get you back
home early for that special night for you two."
"As I said when I dropped you back here after the BAFTAs, I hope we can
all be friends," said Anton.
"I'm sure we will," we both said together and then laughed.
"I hear you will be moving up here into a new residence," said Anton.
"Yes," I replied, "it is very generous and thoughtful of Siobhan."
"I second that," chipped in Leo, "it means we will have a secure,
private residence where we can live as husband and wife away from my
public life as Sharon. We can be Mr and Mrs James. And at home I will
always be Leo."
"But how will you dress?" Siobhan's Mum asked Leo. "There's no hiding
you are a woman."
"I'll answer that love," I said to Leo. "We have decided as our private
life will be more open, that Leo will dress as a woman full time.
Although at times he may go for a more androgynous look. Frankly, it
makes life simpler. Leo can't hide his appearance, so we are going to
live openly as two women, as a married couple. We are not going to try
and change the trans woman narrative, but Sharon Diamond will just be
his stage name and personna. Leo's emerging feminine persona is less
glamorous than his Sharon's, I glad to say. A diva he is not."
"Does that mean Leo the man no longer exists?" asked Anton. "I was
looking forward to having a straight but sympathetic mate who was not
trying to get off with me!"
"Oh no, Leo will still be a husband to me," I replied, "and he will
dress as a man when appropriate or when in the mood. So you two can go
off to the pub, if you want!"
"You mean that Leo will be a man who looks and dresses as a woman but
sometimes dresses as a man?" laughed Siobhan, "a double cross dresser?"
For some reason we all thought that was hilarious, probably because we
knew our new friendships were going to work out.
My tale ends with us having new close friends; our boss and a celebrated
actor, and my husband a celebrated singer. And rich. A far cry from our
life when this tale started.