Anxiety to Triumph to Heartbreak My First Part Two
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Anxiety To Triumph To Heartbreak: My First free porn video
My name is Jason. I'm a 22 year old senior at a state university located way up in the mountains. My freshman year I joined a fraternity because I was an exceptional drinker. I was far from a typical frat boy, but the idea of having a core group of friends to party with was very appealing to an 18 year old me. My social life was fairly strong during my first three years of college. I had a lot of friends and was well known around campus.
My senior year I was elected president of my fraternity. I ran on the platform of governing through maturity. There were a lot of detrimental things that my fraternity got into and I wanted to curtail that. I wanted my fraternity to be more community oriented and less degenerate oriented. Some people liked my approach, some people saw me as a stick in the mud. I did not care. It was the vision I had since I saw the degradation my freshman year. Becoming such a polarizing figure in the Greek community garnered me a lot of newfound interest from some of the sorority girls. For three years sorority girls were a cohort that I greatly failed to understand. They're all around lack of shame perplexed me and I often found them to be much too forward for me.
Since I can remember interacting with girls was a painful experience. I never had a girlfriend in high school. I was just getting to the point where I could casually socialize with them toward the end of my high school career. My difficulties with the opposite sex continued when I got to college. I thought for sure joining a fraternity would be the magic fix to my women problems, but that fix never came.
Freshman year came and went and I had no real prospects. When I was sober I was refining my social skills with women, when I was wasted, I was making a fool of myself. By sophomore year my social skills were well refined and I was ready to finally break through. That never happened. When I would watch my friends seal the deal I would take mental notes. Some of the things they would say though...never in a million years would I have the confidence to emulate. So I remained stagnant because I didn't have a shred of game.
By junior year I had lost a fair amount of weight and developed some close friendships with a few girls that dated friends of mine. I think they saw through me and knew I needed help. Through them I gained confidence that I could converse in a sexual manner with women...even if they saw it as drunken banter. But for me it was invaluable practice. By the end of my junior year I had managed to secure a few dates.
They weren't with the best looking girls but I thought that would work to my advantage. I was hoping for a girl with lower self esteem than I had. Turns out that girls that were more shy and awkward than me didn't present many opportunities for me to "cash the v card" as my frat boy friends would say. That's right...I was still a virgin by 20 years old. By the end of junior year I had my first kiss. It sucked and I found the girl to be repulsive albeit not bad looking. Beggars can be choosers I guess.
Everything changed my senior year. I came back to school only slightly overweight whereas I was very overweight my first few years of college. I got two tattoos over summer break and drastically improved my wardrobe. I just moved into our new fraternity house about a quarter mile from campus. As president I had the first choice of rooms so I got the biggest with a balcony. Things were looking up for me. This had to be it. I always thought "no way I could go to college a virgin." Now my mindset is "no way can I leave college a virgin." I was determined this wasn't going to happen.
Move in day came and went. Lots of booze, lots of drugs, lots of slutty girls walking around my house. The next morning I was outside chipping golf balls in the front yard when I saw a very short, very tan girl coming down the outside stairs.
"Hi Sydney" I hollered. I recognized her as a Beta girl. She is quite attractive but it was well known that she made her way through our ranks with relative ease.
"Holy shit, Jason, you look...well, you look quite different." I could tell she wasn't about to jump my bones but her stare lingered longer than I am accustomed.
"Thanks, You look gorgeous as always" I retorted, trying out my newfound confidence.
" I don't feel very gorgeous, I was so fucked up last night and I literally just rolled off of Paul's cock." I cringed. How could this incredibly cute and innocent looking girl be so shameless? I couldn't think of anything to say to that so I put my head down and went back to chipping balls.
Sydney broke the silence "I don't have anywhere I need to be, I just kinda figured Paul didn't want me to linger. Wanna hang out?"
"Sure" I said, not entirely sure what that entailed. "We can hang in the rec room or walk downtown and get breakfast."
"Fuck that" she said. "I'm beat, let's go hang out in your room." At this point I had a serious case of butterflies. I've had girls in my room plenty of times but they were almost always accompanied by their boyfriends. Leading the way, we walked back up the stairs and down the hall to my room. I immediately put on music and packed a bowl in an attempt to diffuse my social ineptitude. Sydney, at this point, has her shoes off and was sitting on my bed.
"Hey Jason, it's too early to listen to music. Let's watch a movie. I just wanna relax." I took a long pull off the bowl and passed it to her. As she took her own sizable drag I cued up one of the American Pie movies.
I took a seat in a chair opposite the bed, careful to give Sydney her space. She gave me a quirky look then motioned to the bed. She pulled her sweatshirt off and threw open the blankets. September mornings in the mountains can produce an unseasonable chill, so I wasn't surprised when I noticed the rock hard protrusion from her thin t-shirt. Either she didn't notice my gaze or could care less. At this point I was in uncharted territory. I never had a girl in my bed let alone a girl that had a preclusion to sleep with any guy that gave her the attention she so desperately desired.
I awkwardly climbed into the bed staying on top of the blankets on the very edge of the queen bed. Sydney was under the blankets enjoying the movie as well as the premium kush. I couldn't focus on the movie. I wanted to move closer and get under the blankets but I was so petrified of the potential results. So I did what I always do, I played the perfect gentleman and when the movie was over I handed Sydney her sweatshirt and escorted her out. She gave me a hug and thanked me for a nice morning and was on her way.
For the next several hours I analyzed the encounter over and over and over. I was upset at myself for not making a move, but at the same time I was convincing myself that this was a strictly platonic encounter. Nevertheless I couldn't help but feel relieved. If by chance I did stumble my way into Sydney's pants I know my secret would be exposed. Noone knows I'm a virgin. I have always lied to my friends. Either they believed me and just assume I don't get laid a lot, or they just go along with it...I don't have the answer to that. Had I had sex with Sydney she surely would have been able to tell I was a virgin and share that fact with her friends. By the end of the day all of the Greek community would have been privy to my secret. Anyway, better things were on the horizon.
About 4:00 I heard loud music coming from the driveway. I headed out to investigate the source of the commotion. When I got outside I saw two of my roommates Nick and Ryan throwing the football the length of the driveway. I decided a little recreation would be a good stress relief so I joined them. After about half an hour Nick's phone started ringing. He answered and held a brief conversation. After he tucked away his cell phone he took the ball and fired a laser right at me.
"Let's end on a good note, Shannon and Allie are on their way over. They want to hang out"
"Ok" I said. Having lived in a fraternity house for two years now I was used to multiple sets of girls spending time at our house daily. Shannon and Allie are Sigma girls that I'm not very familiar with. I know they are a class below me but that's about it. I went inside to freshen up a bit and grab a 12 pack of beer. By the time I got back outside Ryan had taken off for the night and Nick was greeting the two girls. I knew Shannon, she was loud and a tad obnoxious...typical sorority girl. She sported a nice tan, with long black hair. She was absolutely beautiful but truth be told, she was a bitch. I quickly turned my attention to her friend. I recognized her. I vaguely remember her from last year's spring formal. She went with a friend of mine. She wasn't a 10, she wasn't a smoke show, she wasn't a bombshell, but she was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on. She flashed me a hypnotic smile.
"Hey, I'm Allie." I was speechless. After that perfect smile all but melted me I gathered myself to take in her appearance in greater detail. She isn't the sorority type by any means. She wore tight gym shorts and a baggy t-shirt. She is about 5'6. Not skinny but far from overweight. She had long shiny brown hair that went half way down her back. While she wore no make-up her face was flawless with a near perfect complexion. Her skin was a beautiful shade of cream. Not pale but far from tan. The gym shorts she was wearing strained by an ass that was nothing short of perfection. It was firm and round and didn't show a hint of sag. This girl was blessed. The t-shirt offered no indication of what may be beneath it until a strong wind blew her shirt, right across her chest. She had small breasts, probably an A cup. But they stood at attention like the rest of her perfectly portioned body.
I extended my hand to shake hers.
"Hi, I'm Jason." I didn't stammer, I didn't stutter. Even I could tell that my tone exuded confidence. Allie grasped my hand. I made sure my grip was firm but not too firm. I wanted to give the impression that I'm strong but know when to channel my strength. I could tell it worked as Allie 's creamy complexion flushed deep red.
Allie 's eyes fell to my Obama-Biden 2012 shirt and I could see her eyes light up.
"I have to admit it's nice to meet a progressive guy on this campus." She nervously stammered awaiting my reaction. I knew this was my in and I couldn't waste this opportunity. "He's a closet liberal" Nick interjected as he slapped my ass on the way by. He and Shannon announced that they were heading up to his room for "a minute." Allie and I looked at each other smiling knowing they would be more than a minute.
"Enjoy... Jason and I will be out here discussing the socialist takeover of America" Allie chirped. I almost spewed out my beer at this overt exercise of sarcasm. Right then and there I knew this girl was my counterpart. We made our may over to the picnic table where I took a seat. She did not sit across from me but rather directly next to me. She was so close our legs were almost touching.
"How bout a beer?" I said hoping to not be the only one drinking.
"How bout two" Allie replied much to my delight. I fished into the cardboard box and grabbed her two beers. Without hesitating Allie cracked open a can and chugged it in two gulps.
"Holy shit" I said, thoroughly impressed.
"I'm just showing off, I don't actually drink like that" Allie replied, cracking another beer. I chugged my beer and cracked another beer. At this point I was very curious to see where this conversation would take us. This girl is unbelievably cool and unbelievably hot. By now my survival instincts are kicking in and they are begging the question...what's the catch?
We both nursed our second beers, not wanting to impede conversation. Conversation with Allie was easy. It wasn't forced. It had a fluidity and a purpose that so many of my conversations with the opposite sex lacked.
She first wanted to know my political beliefs and I was happy to share them with her. It turns out that we weren't quite as aligned as I thought. Me being a moderate democrat and her being a very liberal progressive. This led to several minutes of spirited debate and a little playful banter. Politics aside, the questions turned to a more personal nature. Turns out we are from towns only about 45 minutes apart. We talked about high school experiences, our friends, our mutual love of sports and animals. We talked about our families, our life goals and finally we moved to our biggest commonality; Greek life.
Allie, I learned, was a junior that lived in an off campus apartment by herself with her cat. She transferred last year from a private school that she hated.
"To be honest, I joined a sorority because I didn't have many friends at my last school and I thought this was my best shot at the normal college experience." All the while I'm thinking to myself "how the hell could this girl not make friends." As if she was reading my mind she continued "I don't exactly have a lot of confidence in myself. I don't think I'm very likable. I don't like the girly girl stuff and I don't think I'm very pretty." She finished abruptly as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders revealing this to me. She took another swig of beer and looked to me for my reaction to her revelation. It was my turn to flush red.
"I think you are good looking" is all I could muster. Telling a slut like Sydney she was hot was easy but telling Allie she was pretty was so difficult for me. My fear of rejection was showing itself. Allie didn't say anything, instead she took one more generous swig of beer and laid her head on my shoulder. No words were needed. She was so close now that our legs were touching. My bare leg was resting against her smooth delicate skin. This was the closest contact I have ever had with a girl and my biological functions were not letting me forget it. I could feel my erection growing in my gym shorts. This presented a very awkward possibility. Fortunately Nick and Shannon came barreling down the stairs and jolted Allie's head straight up.
"What's up love birds" Nick hollered as Shannon smacked his arm.
"Grow up Nick" Allie snapped as she quickly rose from the picnic table. She glanced at her phone presumably to check the time. As Shannon and Nick walked to the car, Allie bent down to where I'm sitting and rested her hand on mine. "It was a pleasure to get to know you Jason, I'll see you around." And with that she was off. I watched her walk the short distance to the car in complete disbelief. Those were the most stimulating hours I've ever spent with a woman.
Resigned to the fact that she was gone, I gathered my beers and headed for my room. With the slightest buzz going on I stripped down to my boxers and got in bed. I pulled out my laptop and went to my favorite porn site. Thinking about Allie I slipped my hands in my pants and started playing with myself. I was determined to make this a marathon jerk session. I scoured the porn star pages until I settled on one that closest resembled the newest object of my affection. Riley Reid. She had the same long brown hair, the same fat ass, the same tiny tits and very similar facial features. She didn't present as sexy as Riley but I thought she was perfect. I watched a video of Riley masturbating with just her fingers. I didn't want to think about Allie having sex, I just wanted to fantasize about the purity of her body. Thinking about her the entire time I was stroking my cock, I came very quickly. Well after I finished masturbating, I found myself dwelling on the few hours we spent together. It wasn’t lust or sexual. I wanted to know her in every way. I desperately wanted to see her again. Turns out I wouldn't have to wait long. -->
Ofelia
- 17.11.2022
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