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"Now appearing for his 6th time here at the Comedy Palace, Long Island's own funny fool, and my good friend, Henry Looper, The Loop!" Morgan Everlee waved his arms dramatically behind him at the curtain as 'The Loop' made his way onto the stage with his usual bag of props. Morgan punched fist against fist with the funny man and exited the stage from where Henry Looper had entered. The crowd responding kindly to the comic and 'The Loop' bowed like a Shakespearian actor.

"Yo, yo, yo... how's my homies? 117 representing in da his house! Ok, settle down people, I am done carrying on like my black brothers. How many of the brothers in here?" 'The Loop' held his hands up like a visor across his eyes and scanned the crowd. "Ya, I see ya, you guys know I am joking? I am just a stupid white guy trying to make a living." Few laughs and chuckles through the audience. "Sometimes, as a comedian I run out of material or I forget something, so I will curse or make fun of minorities to get a cheap laugh. Hey, this is the benefit of working the late show, you guys are drunk enough by now that it doesn't matter what shit I say, you will laugh at it." More laughs. He pointed at the crowd and smiled.

"That is why I love Long Island, New York so much. They will drink like fish and laugh at anything because after a week of work, it's got to get better, am I right?" There was a smattering of applause. "Now don't get me wrong, I too was employed not too long ago at a convenience store. I know fairly well what it takes to survive the day. A pack or two of cigarettes, an attitude to handle the child who tries to five-finger discount a chocolate bar and a smile for the grandmother who needs to find a hatpin. I love old people. What do you get when you cross an eighty year old man with viagra?" The Loop paused for a brief second, and continued, "You get a grandfather cock! Woohoo!!!" Groans. "You know Grandfather Clock, viagra, cock, grandfather cock, come on people, this is quality stuff." The crowd laughed at The Loop's begging.

"I guess you want some of my A-material?" The crowd hollered their approval in response to his question. "Well you better start drinking more. It doesn't get any better than this. A doctor asks an old man for a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample. He doesn't hear so he asks the doctor to repeat it. The doctor asks again for a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample. He looks to his wife for help and she tells him the doctor wants to have his underwear." The crowd moaned but there were some scattered laughs including 'The Loop' who giggled at himself.

"Hey I love old people, don't get me wrong, they just can't fight back. Easy targets people, easy targets. What am I going to do acted my mother-in-law? That is too easy of a target. Hey do you know that if you descramble the word mother-in-law you get the words, woman Hitler?" More moans, groans and chuckles emanated from the crowd. 'The Loop' rolled on, "So I guess we return to the old people, eh? I see where the demand is; I am not stupid. Okay then, how do you get four old ladies to say, 'Fuck'? You just have the fifth one say, 'Bingo.' Woohoo!"

"Ok, ok settle down people, settle down. I see I might be offending some of the blue hairs in the audience, so let's see if we can pick on some other people. No really, I am not about cheap jokes, I am a lot more. I see we have a few beautiful women in the front row tables. They always want to get as close as they can. They want to know if the rumor is true. They see a Jew and want to know if their cock is as small as a thimble. Actually it's true. When I am hard my schlong looks like a clitoris, but an aroused clitoris I must say. I see by the reaction by some of my words, that I could use more tasteful slang's for male gentalia. Actually I do use other words for my little stump. The ladies think it's cute when I call it my stuffed mouse. It is stuffed with filling and likes dark little holes, so I think that one is appropriate. Another one I often use is my pimple of pleasure. Yeah, erotic isn't it? I know, I know, you wish you thought of it first. Hey, the more you play with it, the harder it gets and sooner or later white stuff will puss out the top. Sexy ladies, sex-eee!"

'The Loop' continued to receive a nice mix of laughs and grunts. It was a good show. When he finally left the stage, the crowd was on their feet for a standing applause. He ran right to the bathroom backstage, but it was occupied so he made his way around and used the men's room the audience was using. When you got to go, you got to go, he thought. He made small talk with a few of the guys on the way to the stall.

"You know guys," he mused, "thank God we got a contraceptive machine in here. I don't think I have time to stop off at the quickie mart to purchase me a glow-in-the-dark condom of such high quality as we can get here. Hey, it is a comedy club remember these might be practical joke condoms, and after nine months the joke will be on you."

After he finished his new routine in the bathroom, he ran into a rather sweet looking red head with sparkling green eyes. She had a lace-trimmed flower patterned scoop blouse, which was a bit on the grandmotherly side. Her blue jean skirt certainly made up for her poor choice of tops, 'The Loop' thought. Her legs were encased in charcoal colored stockings, which glistened even in the shadows of the club. She was quite an interesting looking lady, probably in her mid 20's. She was pretty tall and wide shouldered. She had a bit of a large bulbous nose, but she knew how to make herself look pretty with her makeup. Her lips were glossed in pink and her eyes were accentuated by green eye shadow. He smiled at her and she introduced herself.

"Hi my name is Arlene," she stated, "I loved your show."

"Well," The Loop replied, "it is always nice to meet one of my admirers, especially one as charming as yourself." He smiled and bowed as he did when he first took the stage.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"It is my pleasure dear lady," he mentioned.

"A few of my friends are going over to McCloskey's for a few drinks, would you like to come?" She smiled gently at him, sending the message that she was more than interested in a few drinks.

"Well that certainly seems like an interesting thought."

"Interesting enough to meet us there?" Arlene asked. She tilted her head in a sexy come hither motion. The Loop could not resist such a puppy dog look.

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The store that stands over our underground home is called Mr. Naughty's. It sounds like a funny name, but the contents of the store don't usually bring about fits of laughter. As the name implies, those products were designed with, well ... naughty thoughts in mind. Here's the funny part: I'm Mr. Naughty. After all the events that led to me collecting the women living with me, I had helped to bring down the woman who originally purchased the land and unfinished underground complex. The...

2 years ago
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Celebrating the Century Mark Chapter Two Showtime

As you recall from Chapter One, my husband and I had an intimate discussion about my obsession with writing erotic stories on LUSH after I informed him that I had recently published my ninety-ninth story on the site. I also asked for Jim’s help coming up with an idea for my one hundredth story. I wanted to do something special for this milestone. Jim got me to open up and describe for him my motivation for writing these stories. I told Jim how aroused I become recreating the tales of real-life...

Office Sex
3 years ago
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Showtime

You arrive into the darkened theatre on your own. You've told your husband about this movie he would never go to see, so you booked your ticket and off you went in a nice summery dress. You find your seat as do others and the trailers play. You barely give them a glance, as you keep looking at the people coming in - especially lone men. Your heartbeat is thudding in your chest, and your panties start misting through, with excitement, anticipation, perhaps a little doubt. At last you see a man...

Cheating
3 years ago
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showtime

the lights dimmed and the curtains opened. a midget walked onto the stage holding a dog chain and dragging two fat ladies. they were mother and daughter.both were very very fat (sbbw). the daughter was strapped into a chair and the dildo of a sybian slpped into her pussy. her mother was shackled to an XFRAME and then lowered in the horizontal position. both were naked and their rolls of fat were wobbling as they were placed into position. the Mandingos came on stage and surrounded mother and...

2 years ago
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Showtime

Breath. Stay calm. That thought ran through both Doug and Judi's minds as she approached their front door. He was wedged familiarly in his favorite spot on the couch. That and the sound of the latch being turned were about the only things that were familiar to either of them. He heard her step in onto the landing with the hollow, woody click-clock of her black leather calf-length leather boots. Size 7, purchased, on sale, by him for her two Christmases ago, for an exorbitant sum, by his...

2 years ago
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Compound X131Chapter 25 Showtime

Greta ground her hips with all her strength, rotating her slick spread lips against the mirror image of Blakey's soaked vulva. In return Blakey's swollen clit ploughed wet groves through Greta's wiry pubic fleece. The captain's empty vagina regularly contracted, and ejected molten flows of hot juices. Greta's pubis lurched forwards' forcing her swollen clit towards the source of the warm honey that spurted against its polished dome. The rearing bud met the grasping orifice and brushed...

2 years ago
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SouthboundChapter 10 Showtime

Things were happening quickly, almost in a blur. I interviewed Lucas Randall in late February for the controller position on the recommendation of Dave Charles. If he was okay in Dave's view, then it was guaranteed he had the qualifications and experience to manage the money at Tracy. It was really only a matter of whether he and I could get along. "You met with Dave, so you know my limitations," I began as we sat in my office. "I'm dependent on you to keep me up to speed and aware of...

2 years ago
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June Autumn and RogerChapter 39 Itrsquos Showtime

June arrived home shortly before her parents and Autumn were due. She ran upstairs and showered, shaved her legs and pussy, dried and brushed her hair, put on some make-up, and went downstairs. Only minutes later, her parents and Autumn walked through the door. “My, aren’t we all prettied up tonight,” Autumn said when she saw June sitting at the table. “I take it you’re not dining with us tonight, are you?” “Hopefully, no,” June responded. “I’m waiting for Roger to get home and call me....

3 years ago
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Awakening of DebbieChapter 10 Showtime

"Ted," said Earl, "My good buddy, you are going to see just how talented your little bride is." With that he pressed the play button and the screen filled with the scene of Debbie and the judge discussing her case. Ted watched in horror as the drama unfolded. From the first rape by the judge, to the second by the sheriff, to the final assault by Cindy, Debbie sat staring into space without a word. Ted couldn't believe what was happening to his wife on the screen. When it was over, he...

3 years ago
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SleepwalkerChapter 68 Showtime

Rebecca "Hampton." I answered the phone on the third ring. I would have gotten to it sooner but I was distracted reading a case file. It was just background on one of the cases currently ongoing in the office. I tried to keep up just in case I got called in to assist. "Special Agent Rebecca Hampton?" "That's me, who's this." "Ms. Hampton, this is Sheriff Dobbs with the Fresno County Sheriff's Department. I just got a missing person's call that fits the profile you asked us to...

2 years ago
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Painted Toes in Private Gym Showers

I'm soo thankful to have feminine feet and legs. My cock is around 6 and a half inches and I have a cute boi-pussy that is tight, but can take a sizeable dick. I would also like to point out that I have enemas on a regular basis so my butt is pretty clean. That part is true and the only part of this story is me at the locker room showers with my painted toes.In the gym that I go to there are three individual showers. The way the showers themselves are set up to where you push the first curtain...

2 years ago
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House Slut 42b Hitting the showers

-phenylalanine After exiting the storeroom, hoping no one noticed just how dishevelled she was as she took her walk of shame across the gym floor, Tegan hit the showers. As much as she liked acting like she was slutty enough to walk around with cum under her clothes, there was some basic hygiene expectation to participating in civilised society. Hal seemed convinced that their story was on the level. Ok, so maybe Trevor hadn’t saved her life, but he had rescued her from some harassment, or...

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