Alternative Reality 1
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Alternative Reality Chapter 3 free porn video
The last two stories was just back ground on two 14 year old young girl who are both exposed to sex a young ages. In you first story you learned that Becky only know pain, and in the next you learned Sherry learned love. But what you will now learn is how these very different girls find happiness together. Now let us enter the young scared mind of Becky to see and feel her life.
Personally note: just in case many of my female reader think that I only believe women are put on earth is so they can have babies that not the case. I could not come up with a good reason for her to do what she did so I said that. Again I DON’T THINK THAT!!!!!
I looked over at Sherry and still saw how scared she was from the attack. I turned away and stared into my mirror. “Maybe you should go home, I see you at school tomorrow.” Sherry took a moment to watch me then she moved and patted my shoulder before leaving. Her face was twist with anger and fear.
Mike was nice to me none the less. He got me anything I would want or need. He wasn’t always crazy like that. No that only happened when he was drink. I guess his job had an early blow out party. This meant he was going to be drunker by the time he got back.
I started on my home work and finished around seven and head down to the kitchen for dinner. I had just grabbed some ham when I heard the door open. He was wasted and I was surprised he could stand.
I felt him as he walked up behind me. He was looking over my shoulder. “What kind of sandwich are you making?” His breath reeked and I know he wasn’t looking at my food. “Ham.” He nodded. “Can you make me one and bring it to me?” I cocked my eyes at him. “Sure.” Again he nodded and to my surprise he started walking away. I turned back to the sandwich and grabbed some more bread.
Then the counter rushed up to my face or rather I was shoved down toward the counter smashed flat against it by Mike’s hand as he held me down. He pulled me back until my stomach was off the counter then he worked my pants and panties down my legs. I closed my eyes and felt him plunged his nine inch dick inside me. I jerk from the pain as he pulled back and slammed back into me. Over and over he did this and I just laid there.
I had learned how to survive this and know he would hit me if I fought him. So I kept my eye close and held my breath knowing the end would come. When he cum, he pulled away and slapped my ass. “You’ve always been a good fuck. Now make me that sandwich.” He let go of me and I pulled my panties and pants back up. He grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Oh by the way I like that new girl you brought by. Maybe we need to get to know each other.”
His voice scared me more right then, I could feel that he meant what he said and a shiver ran down my spine. I turned towards him before I even know what I was doing. “Stay away from her.” His eyes neared as he walked towards me. “Did you just tell me to do something little bitch?” I backed into the counter shock that I said that. I know what was come and wonder if I had gone too far this time. He stopped just short of me. “Did you bitch?” I took a deep breath and nodded.
I opened my eyes well my left eye anyway and found myself lying on the floor of the kitchen, I show the sun shining on the floor and know it had to be morning. The right side of my face hurt like hell and as I pushed to my feet I felt sharp pains all over my body. I had to us the wall for support and the stairs was a real bitch. Each step up felt like a never ending fire across my chest, back, and legs. When I managed to get in my room I took one look at the mirror and know I could go into school today.
My long dark hair ran down my face, I pushed it to the side and stared at myself. My right eye was so swell and the bruise almost covered half of my face. Little trails of blood ran from my noise and the two splits on my lips. My one open eye was clouded with pain and finally I looked down at her dresses not able to look anymore.
I grabbed a bottle and knocked two pills into my palm. I groan hard as I set on the bed and pulled my phone out. I held the one for a few second then Ashley number flashed and said it was calling. I held it to my ear when her voice answered. “Becky is something wrong?” She knew it was for me to call.
“Can you please come by?” She didn’t saying thing for a few seconds then said she was on her way. I hung up and laid back and toss the two pills into my mouth. Unlike some of the things I took these had a nice side effect. Numbness.
As I laid there and felt the medicine starting to take effect I remember back to when I first meet Ashley. She was Mike bio-daughter and when he told her that I was stay here she made weekly visit. She said that it was because she wanted to get to know me but I soon learned that was bullshit. One day after Mike got really drunk he threw me around the house and like this time I couldn’t go to school without anyone know.
As I was sleeping off the pain she came by and found me. “That Bastard.” Her words woke me and she walked over and helped to clean me up. She was a nurse and even more she knew what I was going through. She told me that day that when she was young Mike did the same thing to her. She tried to get me to report the abuse but I refused and told her parts of my all ready long recorded with foster families. Since then she also became a sister to me. We hung out a lot going to movies but then she started her new job at the hospital and I didn’t see her much.
I had been laying there remember this for about twenty minutes when I heard a car door close. I pushed up until my head spin and gave up and laid it back. The pills where in full effect and while I got dizzy easily, I didn’t feel anything. Ashley had a key and if it was her she would let herself in. The door bell sounded followed by knocking sound from downstairs.
I must of fall asleep again because it was until I felt fingers under my chin that I wake to see Ashley shocked face. “Girl what did he do to you this time.” Then she must have seen my eye because she then asked. “What have you taken?” I barely managed to point to the dresser and she walked over and pick up the bottle. Her eyes widened but she never said anything as she laid the bottle back down.
Then she got me stand and while held me she got me out of my clothes. Then I saw my chest and back and man did they look bad. She set me back down on the bed and started to clean my many wounds. When she was finish she set on the bed beside me and stroked my face. “You can’t stay here anymore girl. You’re lucky that you alive but I need to take you to the hospital. I know how you feel but those bruise on your chest and back have me worried.” I rolled over and moaned as I did. “Fine sleep for now but I not taking no for an answer this time.”
I got about an hour worth of sleep and to my surprise I found Sherry sitting beside me when I wake. “Ashley very nice.” She said as she got a good look at me. She then lean over and hugged me. It was like she was afraid to let go but finally she did. Ashley then walked in and said it was time to go. They both helped me out the red Toyota that Ashley drove. Sherry rode in the back with me. “Why are you here anyway?” I asked as the drug fade slowly out of my system to the point that I could think somewhat.
“When I didn’t see you at school I had to make sure you were ok. First time I called my dad and had him stop by but no one answered. When he told me that it got me thinking that maybe you wouldn’t answer someone you didn’t know. I left school and walked over. Ashley answered the door and when I saw her face I know he had hurt you. When she told me she was taking you to the hospital I said I would come too.” She grabbed my hand and something strange happen.
Sherry kind eyes stared into mine and I was glad she was here. They help me out of the car and we walked into the ER. A nurse there saw me and I was sent right to the back. Ashley stayed with me as the doctor did there tests and examination. When he asked who did this to me I shook my head.
“His name is Mike, he’s my father her foster father.” I stared at Ashley and she looked at me and shook her head. “Becky you can’t stay in this situation anymore. This was by far the worst I have ever found you. I scared that I not going to get you next call. So you may hate me but I can’t help you hide this anymore.”
She left me alone after that and soon the doctor said he had to check on my tests. They took x-rays and even a MRI. Then to make everything worse I had to have a pelvic exam. Two more doctors were called in and each one check my charts then they took a look between my legs. They didn’t say anything but I was getting a bad feeling.
Once everything was done and I could get dress I was laying on the bed when the doctor came back in. His face was sad and I managed to sit up. “Ma’am I have some bad news for you.” I swallowed as he took a seat. “Due to the number of assaults you had to you low body…” He broke off and took a breath. “There is internal damage to you ovaries which I am afraid will prevent you from have children.”
I didn’t know what to say or feel about that so I just nodded. Then he told me that there were some police officers here to see me and that if he needed him he was right outside. Two officers walked in after he left. One was male with short black hair and nice looking face. He was tall and well built while his partner was female. She had long blonde hair and he light brown eyes looked sad when she saw me.
“Miss. Miller I am Detective Clearwater.” I jerked my eyes toward him and he smiled. “I’m Sherry father.” I thought how strange that he was the one to get this case. “From what Miss. Castile (that was Ashley) told us we have must of the information but I would like to know what happen to you.” I looked away as the tears slowly fall. Then for the first time ever I told him my long and painful story.
It was about an hour before they finished up with me and I laid back down too tired to do much anymore. Ashley and Sherry came in and they were talking about where I was going to go. Ashley looked over at me and smiled. “They talking to CPS and someone will be picking you up in a little while.”
She kept her face clear of any emotion and kept a distance from me. She knew I did want anyone to know, and she felt that I would be mad at her or at less that I what I thought because I looked over at her “Thank you.” Her face held shock but then she smiled. Then Detective Clearwater came back into the room and pulled them out leaving me alone.
Sherry was the only one to return and she smiled as she walked up beside me. “Well it looks like there something going on with the CPS people and they can’t get you. My father would like to know if you would mind stay with us until this is all worked out.” Her face showed excitement when I nodded. I not sure why but just the thought of being near Sherry brightened my day.
It has been over four hours since I was first brought to the hospital and I glad when they released me. Ashley drove us to the local drug store for my proscriptions the Doctor had given me. As she was inside Sherry placed her hand on my shoulder. “You’ve been really quit and while I understand why I still feel something else is wrong that you not really upset about the beating.” She was right after four years of beatings in three different foster home I just took it and let it go, but Mike didn’t just beat me he took away my only chance at having a family.
“You’re right but I not really able to talk about it right now.” I said as I stared out the window away from her. “Well if you feel like you need to talk then I here to listen.” It wasn’t much longer before Ashley got back in the car and followed Sherry’s instructions to her house. When I first saw the house it reminded me of my father house, it had two floors and the front yard had a next flower bed. Sherry led us inside and her house was nice.
Ashley stayed for a bit then had to get back to work. She had switch shift with a friend to come. I hugged her tightly and again I thanked her. “Why?” I pulled back and looked away. “Because I couldn’t, I tried and tried but every time I got close to telling someone I clammed up. Sherry was the first person I ever told.” Ashley pulled Sherry into us and we all hug.
The strange thing about the hug was that when I was hugging Ashley it was just like sister hugging but when my arm went around Sherry I felt my heart pick up a little. I didn’t understand why it was happening. After Ashley left Sherry gave me a tour of the house ending with her bedroom. “I hope it won’t be a problem if we shared a bed.” I walked over and saw how big it was. “No, mike had me sleep with him a few times so no,”
I not sure when Mr. Clearwater (which is what he want me to call him at home) got home because I was sitting alone in the back yard. I found a picnic table and I had my knees pulled to my chest and my arm wrapped around them. I was staring at the night sky thinking about everything that has ever happen to me and nothing felt worse than not have kids ever.
I wasn’t even sure why that bother me because I never want kids because I didn’t feel like I would ever make a good mother but maybe it’s because now I can’t find out if I could or couldn’t. I sighed and tried to clear my minds. When that wouldn’t work I pulled out my metal can and lit up a joint. “Smoking dope in front of an officer of the law.” I nearly had a heart attack and jerked to find Mr. Clearwater smiling. “But after what you went through I guess I can forget about this.”
He looked down and turned back to the sky. I took another puff before he started taking again. “It’s a stupid question but how are you handling this?” I puffed while I thought over his questions. “I really don’t even know what to think yet, there just so many different emotions that I can’t settle on one.” He took a seat on the bench part of the table. “Sherry worried about you, she said you been sitting here for hours.” I didn’t know what to say so I just kept quiet. “I got pizza inside so if you’re hunger.” He left at that as he walked back inside. I finished off my joint and I continued staring at the sky. About an hour later my cell phone ringed and when I saw the caller id I froze. I hit the speak button and Mike angry voice blasted.
“You little bitch you’re going to pay, I worried you if you ever turned me in I would kill you. That bitch wasn’t an ideal threat. See you soon.” The phone cut off and I just stared at it until it was pulled from my hand. I looked up and Mr. Clearwater was on his phone.
“Yes I need a trance on this number.” He read the number that showed and then hung up. “Tomorrow I’m taking you to the court to get you a restraining order against him.” I laugh and got up.”Like that would do anything to stop him.” I walked back towards the house and he caught up to me quickly. “I have handled a few cases like yours and I must say I have never met anyone like you.”
Look I glad you helped me and all but I really need to get some stuff from my place. It just around the corner and he will be out of town for a while.” He wasn’t happy about this but I managed to get him to let me go. When I got out of sight of them I took off as fast as I could. I had just turned the corner when I saw my house and the police car sitting in front of it.
I walked up to him and he smiled. “Jake said you were coming. We sitting on the house to find out if we could find anything that will led us to your foster father.” I nodded and was half-way to the door when I turned back. “Check every campground with in forty miles and I'm sure you find him.” He nodded as I went inside. If he wanted to kill me then I would make it hard for him.
I walked up to my room and grabbed a backpack and throw some clothes in. I then went to my dresser and pulled out a shoe box and opened to find most of my pills. I got the rest from my closet. Once I had that all packed up I walked into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tube. There was a place near the corner where the tube met that I could slip my hand down between it. I felt around until I found the folded rag.
I laid it in my lap and slow unfold until I was staring at the shine razor nestled in the middle. No if I was going to die then it would be my choice. I fold the rag back up and tucked it in my bag. I picked up my computer and Ipod and left the house. The officer told me that he report what I told him then offered me a ride back to the Clearwater’s house which I accepted.
When I got back I went up to the room that I would be sharing with Sherry and found spot to hide my pills and other drugs. I went into the bathroom and found a good place for my razor. Sherry was sitting on the bed when I come out. We talked for a little while about what happen to me and then we went to sleep.
The next day while Sherry went to school Mr. Clearwater took me to get the restraining order. It was around two thirty when I got back and he had to leave for work. He was hesitation at first for leaving me alone. I told him I would be fine and he left. I head up the Sherry’s room and grabbed my pills. I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. I paced in her room as my emotions bounce all over the place. Finally I just couldn’t take it anymore.
My mother had told me that women where place on this earth to be mother’s. I could never be a mother so what was the point anymore. I continued pacing trying to find just one thing that would make it worth living but no answer come. I didn’t even know that I had walked into the bathroom and taking my razor out until I found it in my hand.
Again I found myself just staring at it. Tears filled my eyes as more and more it all became too much. I felt the sting of the blade as it sliced up my wrist. I was use to pain so it was much to worry about. I made a matching cut up my other wrist. I dropped the razor and held my wrist up in front of my face and I watched my arm turn red as the blood ran down it.
Maybe it was the pills but there was no pain or anything like that just this feeling of being tired. I dropped my hands when they felt too heavy and then I started blinking as my eyelids tried to stay open. The last thing I remember was sliding down the cabinet and felt the cold tile floor on my face.
Then a small beeping sound slowly pushed it way into my head and when I tried to move my hand to rubbed my eyes it pulled against something. I opened my eyes and saw that my wrist and feet had be strap to the bed. Memories of the times Mike had done this to me filled my head and I started trashing around afraid he was nearby. Then a door open and a few nurses came rushing in. It was then that I remember that I had cut my wrist. So one must have found me and brought me here.
The nurse pushed against me to stop me from moving and I calmed enough to look at the close nurse. My voice came it gasps. “Please take them off.” I continued pulling against the straps and then held me down harder. “We can’t do that not until the doctor says we can so you will need to calm down.” Her voice was calm but I couldn’t calm down. “I can’t not, not while I like this.” I fought harder and the nurse that I was looking at turned to another and told her to get the doctor.
He rushed in short after that and he clear saw that I was fighting for everything I had. “Miss. Miller I know the strap are hard to handling but we can’t release you until we know you are not a danger to yourself.” He voice was soft and I stared at him pleading. “Can’t there be a way you can just watch me, I can’t stay like this again.” I noticed that the presser of the nurse less as I finish and then the doctor nodded. I stop fight as they stared remove the straps.
He seemed happy that my breathing relaxed and I did try anything when I was free. He told me that a nurse would stay in the room until he felt I wasn’t a danger to myself. I closed my eyes when he left taking small deep breaths. “Can I speak with her alone?” I looked up and saw Mr. Clearwater at the door. The nurse nodded and stepped out as he walked over to my bed. “First I would like to say I sorry I left you alone. If I hadn’t…”
“I would have just wait until I could.” I said looking into his eyes. “How did I end up here.” Unlike before I notice that I had no emotion in my voice and I would have bet my face sawed no too. “Sherry found you and called the nine one one. Can I ask why you did this.” I looked away as I laid my head back on the pillow. “Why live if I can’t give life.” Again I wonder why that was so important to me. Important enough to tried and kill myself because of it.
“You can’t have kids because of the assaults?” I nodded and he took a seat near my bed. “I’m sorry.” I did look at him that time. “Why do you even care?” He looked at me a long time before he answered. “Because Sherry cares and because I care. You’re a strong girl and you have a heart of gold but you never know anything but pain and lose. Give life a chance and you may find something worth living for.”
“Like what?” He said one word before living and Sherry walked in. Love. I felt bad when I saw her face and I looked away. “I’m not sorry that I did what I did but I am sorry that you found me.” I didn’t know why but I felt more out of control then I have ever did. Then her hand touch mine and my breath left my chest. “I’m not.”
to be continued -->
Personally note: just in case many of my female reader think that I only believe women are put on earth is so they can have babies that not the case. I could not come up with a good reason for her to do what she did so I said that. Again I DON’T THINK THAT!!!!!
I looked over at Sherry and still saw how scared she was from the attack. I turned away and stared into my mirror. “Maybe you should go home, I see you at school tomorrow.” Sherry took a moment to watch me then she moved and patted my shoulder before leaving. Her face was twist with anger and fear.
Mike was nice to me none the less. He got me anything I would want or need. He wasn’t always crazy like that. No that only happened when he was drink. I guess his job had an early blow out party. This meant he was going to be drunker by the time he got back.
I started on my home work and finished around seven and head down to the kitchen for dinner. I had just grabbed some ham when I heard the door open. He was wasted and I was surprised he could stand.
I felt him as he walked up behind me. He was looking over my shoulder. “What kind of sandwich are you making?” His breath reeked and I know he wasn’t looking at my food. “Ham.” He nodded. “Can you make me one and bring it to me?” I cocked my eyes at him. “Sure.” Again he nodded and to my surprise he started walking away. I turned back to the sandwich and grabbed some more bread.
Then the counter rushed up to my face or rather I was shoved down toward the counter smashed flat against it by Mike’s hand as he held me down. He pulled me back until my stomach was off the counter then he worked my pants and panties down my legs. I closed my eyes and felt him plunged his nine inch dick inside me. I jerk from the pain as he pulled back and slammed back into me. Over and over he did this and I just laid there.
I had learned how to survive this and know he would hit me if I fought him. So I kept my eye close and held my breath knowing the end would come. When he cum, he pulled away and slapped my ass. “You’ve always been a good fuck. Now make me that sandwich.” He let go of me and I pulled my panties and pants back up. He grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Oh by the way I like that new girl you brought by. Maybe we need to get to know each other.”
His voice scared me more right then, I could feel that he meant what he said and a shiver ran down my spine. I turned towards him before I even know what I was doing. “Stay away from her.” His eyes neared as he walked towards me. “Did you just tell me to do something little bitch?” I backed into the counter shock that I said that. I know what was come and wonder if I had gone too far this time. He stopped just short of me. “Did you bitch?” I took a deep breath and nodded.
I opened my eyes well my left eye anyway and found myself lying on the floor of the kitchen, I show the sun shining on the floor and know it had to be morning. The right side of my face hurt like hell and as I pushed to my feet I felt sharp pains all over my body. I had to us the wall for support and the stairs was a real bitch. Each step up felt like a never ending fire across my chest, back, and legs. When I managed to get in my room I took one look at the mirror and know I could go into school today.
My long dark hair ran down my face, I pushed it to the side and stared at myself. My right eye was so swell and the bruise almost covered half of my face. Little trails of blood ran from my noise and the two splits on my lips. My one open eye was clouded with pain and finally I looked down at her dresses not able to look anymore.
I grabbed a bottle and knocked two pills into my palm. I groan hard as I set on the bed and pulled my phone out. I held the one for a few second then Ashley number flashed and said it was calling. I held it to my ear when her voice answered. “Becky is something wrong?” She knew it was for me to call.
“Can you please come by?” She didn’t saying thing for a few seconds then said she was on her way. I hung up and laid back and toss the two pills into my mouth. Unlike some of the things I took these had a nice side effect. Numbness.
As I laid there and felt the medicine starting to take effect I remember back to when I first meet Ashley. She was Mike bio-daughter and when he told her that I was stay here she made weekly visit. She said that it was because she wanted to get to know me but I soon learned that was bullshit. One day after Mike got really drunk he threw me around the house and like this time I couldn’t go to school without anyone know.
As I was sleeping off the pain she came by and found me. “That Bastard.” Her words woke me and she walked over and helped to clean me up. She was a nurse and even more she knew what I was going through. She told me that day that when she was young Mike did the same thing to her. She tried to get me to report the abuse but I refused and told her parts of my all ready long recorded with foster families. Since then she also became a sister to me. We hung out a lot going to movies but then she started her new job at the hospital and I didn’t see her much.
I had been laying there remember this for about twenty minutes when I heard a car door close. I pushed up until my head spin and gave up and laid it back. The pills where in full effect and while I got dizzy easily, I didn’t feel anything. Ashley had a key and if it was her she would let herself in. The door bell sounded followed by knocking sound from downstairs.
I must of fall asleep again because it was until I felt fingers under my chin that I wake to see Ashley shocked face. “Girl what did he do to you this time.” Then she must have seen my eye because she then asked. “What have you taken?” I barely managed to point to the dresser and she walked over and pick up the bottle. Her eyes widened but she never said anything as she laid the bottle back down.
Then she got me stand and while held me she got me out of my clothes. Then I saw my chest and back and man did they look bad. She set me back down on the bed and started to clean my many wounds. When she was finish she set on the bed beside me and stroked my face. “You can’t stay here anymore girl. You’re lucky that you alive but I need to take you to the hospital. I know how you feel but those bruise on your chest and back have me worried.” I rolled over and moaned as I did. “Fine sleep for now but I not taking no for an answer this time.”
I got about an hour worth of sleep and to my surprise I found Sherry sitting beside me when I wake. “Ashley very nice.” She said as she got a good look at me. She then lean over and hugged me. It was like she was afraid to let go but finally she did. Ashley then walked in and said it was time to go. They both helped me out the red Toyota that Ashley drove. Sherry rode in the back with me. “Why are you here anyway?” I asked as the drug fade slowly out of my system to the point that I could think somewhat.
“When I didn’t see you at school I had to make sure you were ok. First time I called my dad and had him stop by but no one answered. When he told me that it got me thinking that maybe you wouldn’t answer someone you didn’t know. I left school and walked over. Ashley answered the door and when I saw her face I know he had hurt you. When she told me she was taking you to the hospital I said I would come too.” She grabbed my hand and something strange happen.
Sherry kind eyes stared into mine and I was glad she was here. They help me out of the car and we walked into the ER. A nurse there saw me and I was sent right to the back. Ashley stayed with me as the doctor did there tests and examination. When he asked who did this to me I shook my head.
“His name is Mike, he’s my father her foster father.” I stared at Ashley and she looked at me and shook her head. “Becky you can’t stay in this situation anymore. This was by far the worst I have ever found you. I scared that I not going to get you next call. So you may hate me but I can’t help you hide this anymore.”
She left me alone after that and soon the doctor said he had to check on my tests. They took x-rays and even a MRI. Then to make everything worse I had to have a pelvic exam. Two more doctors were called in and each one check my charts then they took a look between my legs. They didn’t say anything but I was getting a bad feeling.
Once everything was done and I could get dress I was laying on the bed when the doctor came back in. His face was sad and I managed to sit up. “Ma’am I have some bad news for you.” I swallowed as he took a seat. “Due to the number of assaults you had to you low body…” He broke off and took a breath. “There is internal damage to you ovaries which I am afraid will prevent you from have children.”
I didn’t know what to say or feel about that so I just nodded. Then he told me that there were some police officers here to see me and that if he needed him he was right outside. Two officers walked in after he left. One was male with short black hair and nice looking face. He was tall and well built while his partner was female. She had long blonde hair and he light brown eyes looked sad when she saw me.
“Miss. Miller I am Detective Clearwater.” I jerked my eyes toward him and he smiled. “I’m Sherry father.” I thought how strange that he was the one to get this case. “From what Miss. Castile (that was Ashley) told us we have must of the information but I would like to know what happen to you.” I looked away as the tears slowly fall. Then for the first time ever I told him my long and painful story.
It was about an hour before they finished up with me and I laid back down too tired to do much anymore. Ashley and Sherry came in and they were talking about where I was going to go. Ashley looked over at me and smiled. “They talking to CPS and someone will be picking you up in a little while.”
She kept her face clear of any emotion and kept a distance from me. She knew I did want anyone to know, and she felt that I would be mad at her or at less that I what I thought because I looked over at her “Thank you.” Her face held shock but then she smiled. Then Detective Clearwater came back into the room and pulled them out leaving me alone.
Sherry was the only one to return and she smiled as she walked up beside me. “Well it looks like there something going on with the CPS people and they can’t get you. My father would like to know if you would mind stay with us until this is all worked out.” Her face showed excitement when I nodded. I not sure why but just the thought of being near Sherry brightened my day.
It has been over four hours since I was first brought to the hospital and I glad when they released me. Ashley drove us to the local drug store for my proscriptions the Doctor had given me. As she was inside Sherry placed her hand on my shoulder. “You’ve been really quit and while I understand why I still feel something else is wrong that you not really upset about the beating.” She was right after four years of beatings in three different foster home I just took it and let it go, but Mike didn’t just beat me he took away my only chance at having a family.
“You’re right but I not really able to talk about it right now.” I said as I stared out the window away from her. “Well if you feel like you need to talk then I here to listen.” It wasn’t much longer before Ashley got back in the car and followed Sherry’s instructions to her house. When I first saw the house it reminded me of my father house, it had two floors and the front yard had a next flower bed. Sherry led us inside and her house was nice.
Ashley stayed for a bit then had to get back to work. She had switch shift with a friend to come. I hugged her tightly and again I thanked her. “Why?” I pulled back and looked away. “Because I couldn’t, I tried and tried but every time I got close to telling someone I clammed up. Sherry was the first person I ever told.” Ashley pulled Sherry into us and we all hug.
The strange thing about the hug was that when I was hugging Ashley it was just like sister hugging but when my arm went around Sherry I felt my heart pick up a little. I didn’t understand why it was happening. After Ashley left Sherry gave me a tour of the house ending with her bedroom. “I hope it won’t be a problem if we shared a bed.” I walked over and saw how big it was. “No, mike had me sleep with him a few times so no,”
I not sure when Mr. Clearwater (which is what he want me to call him at home) got home because I was sitting alone in the back yard. I found a picnic table and I had my knees pulled to my chest and my arm wrapped around them. I was staring at the night sky thinking about everything that has ever happen to me and nothing felt worse than not have kids ever.
I wasn’t even sure why that bother me because I never want kids because I didn’t feel like I would ever make a good mother but maybe it’s because now I can’t find out if I could or couldn’t. I sighed and tried to clear my minds. When that wouldn’t work I pulled out my metal can and lit up a joint. “Smoking dope in front of an officer of the law.” I nearly had a heart attack and jerked to find Mr. Clearwater smiling. “But after what you went through I guess I can forget about this.”
He looked down and turned back to the sky. I took another puff before he started taking again. “It’s a stupid question but how are you handling this?” I puffed while I thought over his questions. “I really don’t even know what to think yet, there just so many different emotions that I can’t settle on one.” He took a seat on the bench part of the table. “Sherry worried about you, she said you been sitting here for hours.” I didn’t know what to say so I just kept quiet. “I got pizza inside so if you’re hunger.” He left at that as he walked back inside. I finished off my joint and I continued staring at the sky. About an hour later my cell phone ringed and when I saw the caller id I froze. I hit the speak button and Mike angry voice blasted.
“You little bitch you’re going to pay, I worried you if you ever turned me in I would kill you. That bitch wasn’t an ideal threat. See you soon.” The phone cut off and I just stared at it until it was pulled from my hand. I looked up and Mr. Clearwater was on his phone.
“Yes I need a trance on this number.” He read the number that showed and then hung up. “Tomorrow I’m taking you to the court to get you a restraining order against him.” I laugh and got up.”Like that would do anything to stop him.” I walked back towards the house and he caught up to me quickly. “I have handled a few cases like yours and I must say I have never met anyone like you.”
Look I glad you helped me and all but I really need to get some stuff from my place. It just around the corner and he will be out of town for a while.” He wasn’t happy about this but I managed to get him to let me go. When I got out of sight of them I took off as fast as I could. I had just turned the corner when I saw my house and the police car sitting in front of it.
I walked up to him and he smiled. “Jake said you were coming. We sitting on the house to find out if we could find anything that will led us to your foster father.” I nodded and was half-way to the door when I turned back. “Check every campground with in forty miles and I'm sure you find him.” He nodded as I went inside. If he wanted to kill me then I would make it hard for him.
I walked up to my room and grabbed a backpack and throw some clothes in. I then went to my dresser and pulled out a shoe box and opened to find most of my pills. I got the rest from my closet. Once I had that all packed up I walked into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tube. There was a place near the corner where the tube met that I could slip my hand down between it. I felt around until I found the folded rag.
I laid it in my lap and slow unfold until I was staring at the shine razor nestled in the middle. No if I was going to die then it would be my choice. I fold the rag back up and tucked it in my bag. I picked up my computer and Ipod and left the house. The officer told me that he report what I told him then offered me a ride back to the Clearwater’s house which I accepted.
When I got back I went up to the room that I would be sharing with Sherry and found spot to hide my pills and other drugs. I went into the bathroom and found a good place for my razor. Sherry was sitting on the bed when I come out. We talked for a little while about what happen to me and then we went to sleep.
The next day while Sherry went to school Mr. Clearwater took me to get the restraining order. It was around two thirty when I got back and he had to leave for work. He was hesitation at first for leaving me alone. I told him I would be fine and he left. I head up the Sherry’s room and grabbed my pills. I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. I paced in her room as my emotions bounce all over the place. Finally I just couldn’t take it anymore.
My mother had told me that women where place on this earth to be mother’s. I could never be a mother so what was the point anymore. I continued pacing trying to find just one thing that would make it worth living but no answer come. I didn’t even know that I had walked into the bathroom and taking my razor out until I found it in my hand.
Again I found myself just staring at it. Tears filled my eyes as more and more it all became too much. I felt the sting of the blade as it sliced up my wrist. I was use to pain so it was much to worry about. I made a matching cut up my other wrist. I dropped the razor and held my wrist up in front of my face and I watched my arm turn red as the blood ran down it.
Maybe it was the pills but there was no pain or anything like that just this feeling of being tired. I dropped my hands when they felt too heavy and then I started blinking as my eyelids tried to stay open. The last thing I remember was sliding down the cabinet and felt the cold tile floor on my face.
Then a small beeping sound slowly pushed it way into my head and when I tried to move my hand to rubbed my eyes it pulled against something. I opened my eyes and saw that my wrist and feet had be strap to the bed. Memories of the times Mike had done this to me filled my head and I started trashing around afraid he was nearby. Then a door open and a few nurses came rushing in. It was then that I remember that I had cut my wrist. So one must have found me and brought me here.
The nurse pushed against me to stop me from moving and I calmed enough to look at the close nurse. My voice came it gasps. “Please take them off.” I continued pulling against the straps and then held me down harder. “We can’t do that not until the doctor says we can so you will need to calm down.” Her voice was calm but I couldn’t calm down. “I can’t not, not while I like this.” I fought harder and the nurse that I was looking at turned to another and told her to get the doctor.
He rushed in short after that and he clear saw that I was fighting for everything I had. “Miss. Miller I know the strap are hard to handling but we can’t release you until we know you are not a danger to yourself.” He voice was soft and I stared at him pleading. “Can’t there be a way you can just watch me, I can’t stay like this again.” I noticed that the presser of the nurse less as I finish and then the doctor nodded. I stop fight as they stared remove the straps.
He seemed happy that my breathing relaxed and I did try anything when I was free. He told me that a nurse would stay in the room until he felt I wasn’t a danger to myself. I closed my eyes when he left taking small deep breaths. “Can I speak with her alone?” I looked up and saw Mr. Clearwater at the door. The nurse nodded and stepped out as he walked over to my bed. “First I would like to say I sorry I left you alone. If I hadn’t…”
“I would have just wait until I could.” I said looking into his eyes. “How did I end up here.” Unlike before I notice that I had no emotion in my voice and I would have bet my face sawed no too. “Sherry found you and called the nine one one. Can I ask why you did this.” I looked away as I laid my head back on the pillow. “Why live if I can’t give life.” Again I wonder why that was so important to me. Important enough to tried and kill myself because of it.
“You can’t have kids because of the assaults?” I nodded and he took a seat near my bed. “I’m sorry.” I did look at him that time. “Why do you even care?” He looked at me a long time before he answered. “Because Sherry cares and because I care. You’re a strong girl and you have a heart of gold but you never know anything but pain and lose. Give life a chance and you may find something worth living for.”
“Like what?” He said one word before living and Sherry walked in. Love. I felt bad when I saw her face and I looked away. “I’m not sorry that I did what I did but I am sorry that you found me.” I didn’t know why but I felt more out of control then I have ever did. Then her hand touch mine and my breath left my chest. “I’m not.”
to be continued -->
Cheryl
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