Mistress Perspective Part 3 Dreams To Reality free porn video

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The most dangerous part of being a mistress is forgetting your own reality. Having such happy moments with your lover, that you forget there are other priorities. Losing track of time. Leaving marks on skin. Creating an entire make-believe world where only the two of you exist and then having to face the crushing reality of falling, alone, from those special moments.

What I struggle with more than anything as a mistress is grounding myself. I let myself fly so high when I am with you, dreaming so big. And then reality beats me back down to the ground. So many lonely, heart breaking drives home alone in the wee hours of the morning. Tasting you on my lips and knowing you are not mine. Cannot ever completely be mine.

I fight the feelings of loneliness in my own head. I bottle them and wait for them to set me on fire from the inside. Sometimes I unleash them onto you. usually as I sit, sleepless and desperate in a parking lot. I pour my feelings out to you. knowing you have no answers. Just needing to tell someone other than my journal. And getting less than lukewarm responses in return. The same unsolvable problems that plague us.

You leave me aching like no one else in so many ways. My body aches from long tender loving nights. My soul aches knowing you are without me and unhappy. My only cure for this is to turn these aches into passions. I long for you and instead of falling into the deep abyss of reality, I plan for the next time we are together. Instead of sobbing and yearning for your hands on me, I use my own.

Reality isn’t so hard to face when you cut off feelings altogether. But this is a dangerous path. It can help you overcome the loneliness you feel but replaces it with a cold steel sort of apathy. I have been using this unfeeling method lately and I feel it has soured our good moments. The last night we spent together was hot and steamy as always.

But the feelings that come when we leave each other never came. I wasn’t broken and unstable. I was cold and accepting of our denied relationship. Locking us away as a dream and nothing more. Sometimes, spending entire days convinces myself that we are only a dream and that nothing ever happened between us. We are just characters in one of my stories and nothing more.

It made it easier for me to face the unknowing world. I think that there is a huge difference between bottling up frustrations and refusing to feel them altogether. If you bottle up everything, it still exists. Somewhere in the back of your mind or the smallest crevice of your heart, those feelings sit and fester inevitably leading to an explosion. If you refuse to let them have any effect on your emotions, deny them altogether, then they cease to exist. Leaving you a cold yet stable individual.

Its addicting to cease emotions. It makes life much easier but becomes a horrible habit. I know that eventually it will lead to falling out of love, losing the spark that once moistened my panties on contact. So I am left with the decision of which is worse? Feeling everything, powerfully, to the point of breaking myself, or feeling absolutely nothing and changing this magnetic love to nothing but piston sex, the parts moving but no real pleasure being found.

And I know it will only get worse. The cute date nights turn to awkward silences. Hotel reservations get cancelled. We only say things to each other through texting, not real words in real life. My newest rule is if we can’t say it out loud, then maybe we shouldn’t be saying it. Don’t promise me hugs and discussions and not follow through. Don’t tease me past the point of sexual frustration that turns to bitterness and rage. Flirting and teasing is fun, but what we do is almost to the point of sexual abuse.

It’s at this point, that I start wondering if maybe I should be dating more people. Maybe I am not getting what I need from one person, and need more? It took me so long to get used to the thought of your touch, will it be easier or more difficult to accept the touch of another? Would it be different if there weren’t feelings involved? Just hard, fast passionate sex. No thoughts of what repercussion it may bring. Don’t even need to know names. Just physical contact. Your hands and body soothe and comfort me like no other, but perhaps, I could find the aggression I crave elsewhere.

As a mistress, I know I should not feel guilt about sexual cravings. After all, you live with your wife, why shouldn’t I have someone else to keep as a constant when I can’t have you? I honestly don’t even think you would be jealous. Maybe internally you would struggle, but outwardly you would only show me the same calm cool response that I have come to know and hate. How can we be passionate with each other if you refuse to show emotions?

I want to meet you somewhere and run to you, like you’ve been gone for half my life and I’m seeing you again for the first time. Like a soldier returning from war, I would run to you. Jump into your arms and lose myself in tears, kisses, and the strength of your arms. Hear you growl and feel your need for me. But this won’t ever happen. Only dreams, nothing more. Because we won’t ever let ourselves loose.

The realities of our situation are that I have yet to file legal divorce paperwork and you have decided that you will never leave. That makes our situation clear in my head. But my stupid heart. And my stupid hopes and dreams. So, I take it out on myself. Knowing that again in life, I am not enough. I will never be anyone’s top priority. And I deserve this torment because I am a whore. Always have been and always will be.

I can write all these erotic stories of us and truthfully, I know that’s all they will ever be. Stories. Dreams. There is no future here. That is my cold reality. We can get a hotel and lose ourselves in the clouds for an hour or two. But then we must leave, falling suicidal to the hard ground.

Ground rules for being a mistress sometimes include things like remembering not to leave marks. Trying not to touch you so as not to leave my scent on you. Never wear lipstick. Air freshener in your car for deleting my smell. Changing your shirt before you head home to her. Showering after sex so we can’t smell or taste each other for long.

But I long to have sex and smell you all day. I want to skip my shower and feel the smooth spot on my skin where your semen acted as lotion. I want to leave marks all over your body from my nails, my teeth. Mark you as mine for the world to see. Leave hickeys like a couple of teenagers.

Reality is that I had to get tested for STDs because you didn’t believe me when I said I was clean. Knowing that you had to have had sex with her recently. Or that it really offended me when you just wanted a hug and then changed your shirt as fast as you could. Getting rid of me like a fucking disease. Or tempting and teasing each other all day long or all week long, only to spend our date night not touching once. These are the realities that I cannot deal with. This is when words become just words and the magic that staggered me at first begins to die. We begin to die.

When I was with my ex, I first noticed that he wasn’t happy by looking at old photos. Always the same fake smile, never a twinkle in his eyes. Until he eventually refused to take photos together at all. I place great importance on photographs. Little squares of paper specifically designed to make you recall memories, good or bad, like magic. I have wanted a picture with you forever. Anything. But even when I mention it, it gets denied. I blame it on lack of time but have always been fearful that it will end the same way for me. Finally getting a photo together and seeing that same unloving fake smile in your eyes as I did his.

Now when I leave you, I do not cry. It's easy for me to get in my car and race away. Thinking how stupid I was for expecting anything at all from you. Blaming myself for being in the wrong mindset for the encounter. Having the wrong personality for the meeting. If I go into each date thinking we are only friends, then I am never disappointed. However, if I expect sex and love and dreams, then I am always disappointed.

I dream of you taking control for once in your life, of your life. You running to me, wanting me, and actually taking me. Letting me see you be emotional and horny. Telling me exactly what you want me to do with you and making me scream. Not making love. Fucking. Hard. Coming fast because you just lose control. Absolutely beautiful chaos.

I dream of being your sugar mama. Releasing you from your home prison. Stealing you and your kids and taking you far away from here. Making our own family memories. Doing all the fun things you have always been denied. Letting our kids play outside all day, in the sun, getting filthy while we sit and drink holding hands and just existing. Cleaning them up for bed and then making love like rabbits for hours after they have fallen asleep.

It's so very dangerous to lose yourself in dreams. The hope and happiness you find there are not comforting but agonizing. Turning to ash in your mouth.

Another cure for this particular type of heartbreak is to just avoid all the mounting reality-based problems and enjoy the now. Instead of tormenting myself thinking about you being unwilling to leave, I should avoid that and enjoy the warmth of your hands, or the taste of your lips on mine. Small victories. This method works until the build-up of all the small dreams creates a chaotic restlessness deep inside of you.

Restlessness is another issue entirely I believe I should focus on in detail later. It’s the blue-balls of relationships of all kinds. Everything could be going great and then all of a sudden, you find yourself facing time alone. Maybe your partner has other plans, or you do. The first emotion is usually bitterness, that life and timing never seem to coincide. When you accept the fact that you cannot be together every time you wish, you are restless trying to please yourself in any possible way.

Tonight, for example, I have free time. Absolutely no obligations, no plans with friends, nothing. But you don’t plan on seeing me tonight either. And so, what am I to do with myself? Restlessness to the extreme starts to set in. All of a sudden, my mind races, I can’t focus enough to even write, and I can’t even settle on where I want to be, because every place I go to is missing you.

So, I drive. Drive far away and shut off my car and sit and think. Remember cute moments, remember passionate nights, or frisky car rides. Think about finding a partner, just for the night. Someone to touch me how I want since you can’t. Daydream about the things we could be doing if we were together. I always assume masturbating will cease my restless mind, but it only dims the fire.

Hands that I place on myself only remind me of your caresses. And if I dare to touch my own sex, I only want more. Want to feel you deep inside me as I touch your face and lean in closer to you. I make myself climax only to find that the beast deep within me still yearns for you. My mind has reset and calmed only enough to form entire sentences again. But still, I dream of you. I dream of letting some other one-night stand fuck me hard and fast. Wondering if the next time we have sex in reality, if you will feel the difference.

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Things went along very well for the first month or so. Mistress Madison did help Kim get caught up with her late bills and with what she made she was able to relax a bit on the grocery bills. Things were beginning to look up for her finally, and Kimberly could sleep peacefully for the first time in a while. She didn't have to worry about her ex leaving the country and cutting off her finances - she was able to make up for it and more now.And working for the Mistress was actually becoming fun....

Mistress Sarah Gives Evie an Assignment

Mistress Sarah led me back into her bedroom and sat naked in a chair in front of a large dressing table. She ordered me to fetch my maid's dress. It was time for me to learn how to properly dress her for a night out and she wanted me in full sissy attire for the event. Mistress Sarah watched me step into my sissy dress. She told me to turn around slowly for her as she pulled down on the pink silky fabric, ensuring the shiny dress cascaded around my legs smoothly and wrinkle free. She then...

Mistress By Mail

Mistress by mail? I would like to tell you an interesting story of sorts. My wife requested that I accompany her to a marriage counselor in an attempt to save our dwindling relationship. "Of course" I said I would be glad to go if she thought it would help! She had selected the counselor, the time and even the place. All that I had to do was show up with my willingness to participate and the check book of course. After several hundred dollars and many wasted hours it was decided...

Mistress May I

It was a Thursday evening and I just got off of work. I came home to a quiet house. As I walked into the bedroom I found my wife standing just inside the door. She was wearing nothing but a long t-shirt and a pair of sexy black panties Ann is the love of my life but also my owner, I am slave to my mistress and I obey her. *“Come here you dirty slut,”* Mistress Ann commanded, I obeyed and came toward her unknowing of what she had planned, my body trembled with excitement. She had a chair setup...

Mistress Emmas Revenge

Mistress Emma's Revenge By Brenda Hi I'm Ken. Well I was, now I'm called Brenda. Here's a bit of my story for you. I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did. Because until I got caught misbehaving by my mistress, life was pretty good. At 38, I had a great job as an office manager in charge of 25 or so employees, mostly women, a really good salary, a nice office and plenty of job security. I was only 5'7" but made up for it with my good looks & great personality. Seriously I...

Mistress Cocos School for Wayward Boys

Mistress Coco's School For Wayward Boys Where Boys Become Girls, Whether They Like it or Not by Mistress Tawny Suede assisted by slave Holly Introduction In Which We Meet Rich Bitch Kimberly and Domineering Mistress Coco Kimberly Caldwell's head thrashed about on the silk pillows; a cry of ecstatic pain escaped her luscious lips as she cupped her heavy breasts, her crimson fingernails raking her taut nipples. Kimberly arched her back, thrusting her sopping cunt hard against...

Mistress is Pregnant

Mistress is Pregnant by Tigger (c) 1996 Part 1 It was painful to watch as she struggled to lift herself out of bed. Sighing inwardly, I moved to help her and was rewarded by the expected angry glare, which I ignored. She didn't even try to stop me as I supported her back and took the off center weight of her body in my arms. Once she had gotten her torso upright, she slid her feet to the floor. She rested a moment, gathering herself for her next effort, while I sat beside...

Mistress Traceys Delight

A Session "I'm imagining 6 or even 12 implements of punishment… whips, paddles,floggers, dildos, gags, human riding equipment, slappers……. mydear Michael" said Mistress Tracy reaching for her wine glass. The afternoon light shone though the break in the curtains. It was the kindof light which made it easy to see the slightest cigarette smoke or dust, thisafternoon light was brushing my Mistress Tracey's torso and legs and the exquisitelytiny hairs on her sinuous belly shown magically. Mistress...

Mistress Sarah plays mind games

I woke up at 7am when my alarm went off, I was wrapped up in a pink quilt, Mistress Sarah had obviously thrown it over me as I slept. It was soft and comforting despite the fact that I had been sleeping on the floor in the hallway. I had been banished from the bedroom after I had cleaned her strap-on. I had stayed close to the door listening to the sexual tones of Mistress Sarah. I unravelled myself from the quilt and admired the black silk negligee I was wearing..It was a short and simple...

Mistress Jennifer

My training as a she-male servant began when I rang the doorbell of mylady's home. She greeted me wearing along, tight fitting red leather gown,which covered her from neck to foot except that it exposed her prominentand luscious breasts; her long auburn hair flowed over her shoulders. Shewas also wearing 6" spike heels and black stockings. The dress had a slitfrom her thigh to her ankles, which showed off her stocking clad legs whenshe walked. She demanded that I call her nothing but Mistress...

Mistress Jennifer

My training as a she-male servant began when I rang the doorbell of my lady’s home. She greeted me wearing along, tight fitting red leather gown, which covered her from neck to foot except that it exposed her prominent and luscious breasts, her long auburn hair flowed over her shoulders. She was also wearing 6′ spike heels and black stockings. The dress had a slit from her thigh to her ankles, which showed off her stocking clad legs when she walked. She demanded that I call her nothing but...

Mistress Stephanies World

The Morning of the PartyI was kneeling in the kitchen, shining Mistress Angela’s boots, when she appeared in the doorway, frowning. ?Didn’t I tell you last week to lay down newspapers before you do that?? she asked.?I’m sorry, mistress, I forgot,? I said.My anxiety dissolved when she smiled.?This is your lucky day,? Mistress Angela said. ?I’m in a very good mood.?She was wearing a black T-shirt and matching running shorts that left her smooth thighs exposed. Her dark hair fell loosely over her...

Mistress Sarah fucks Evie Chapter 4

I knelt by the door, anxious for the arrival of my Mistress. I could feel my arse pulsing around the butt plug in anticipation of what was to come. As I knelt and waited I could smell the pretty floral scent of the perfume that I had sprayed on my neck earlier. I felt soft and girly from all the day's events. I was in a prime mode to be fucked like a sissy. Even though I was not touching my cock, it was pulsing and hard with arousal. I was both excited and nervous about being fucked. I heard...

Mistress Mine Chapter 3

After Mistress Madison said goodbye to Alexa, promising to talk more about her order, Madison took the bedraggled, cum-covered mother to her office and handed Kim her paycheck and a second envelope. The paycheck was more than she had expected, and the other envelope contained an additional one thousand dollars. Kim was confused, "This money is for me?""Of course dear," Mistress said."But I thought I was about to be fired! I mean this is wonderful, but I don't understand," Kim said puzzled....

Mistress Stormys Lil Bitch

It was finally the weekend and this slave, Little Bitch had time to sit downand start writing his story. He had Mistress's preferred toys laid out andhad just gotten done getting himself cleaned up and dressed. Mistress had requestedthat Little Bitch wear a little lace white thong. It took some time to shaveall the private places and that is only after a couple quick enema's to makesure Little bitch is clean inside and out. Little bitches instructions wereto write as much as possible until...

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