Amissum Codex The Book of LossChapter 2 Desideratus Regret
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An Amiss WishChapter 10 free porn video
Wednesday arrived, and with it, a return to work. While at the office, I got a call from the mortgage company letting me know that the closing on the house was confirmed for Friday. I called Ellie to tell her, and ask her to pass the message on to everyone. “Any word on Jane?” I asked.
“None yet, but Linda is the one she’d call. Do you think she’s in trouble already” asked Ellie.
“I don’t know. And when I try to reach out with the link, all I find is that dead end.”
“Me, too,” she said. Then, with candor, she said, “I don’t quite know how to feel about that.”
“I don’t either, but I think we need to give her a second chance for your mom’s sake. It will torment her to have sent Jane out like that, and likely to find guys that are abusive, not a real dom who deeply cares about his sub.”
“I know, I know. I just worry that what Mom did won’t take away her cruelty.”
“Perhaps we can teach her love, care, and respect for others? I have a feeling your mom will be working with her a lot, probably without the special milk, but in plain counseling,” I said. “I will do whatever I can. I’m afraid my anger colored your mom’s normally careful choices.”
“She was pretty pissed off herself, you know, Daddy,”
“Yes, well, I think we owe it to both Jane and your mom.”
“Okay, Daddy, I’m willing. I just worry.”
“Me, too, but we do the best we can.”
We hung up, and I worked the rest of the day. When I got home, preparations were being made for the big evening. Jen was making finger sandwiches and fruit, vegetable, cheese, and nut trays. The beverage of the evening was apparently going to be breast milk from the source. Jen was looking forward to it, obviously! Ellie told me that her mother had given Jen a cocktail of herbs that would kick her milk production into overdrive so everyone would get enough. I grinned and shook my head.
I walked into the kitchen to find Sera milking Jen. “It is definitely working!” she said. Jen was panting and mewling at this point.
“Are you going to be ready for tonight?” I asked her.
She nodded an emphatic YES!
“I mean, yesterday...” I pressed.
Sera giggled, and showed me a tube of desensitization cream. “She’ll be just fine! We won’t have a repeat of yesterday!”
I raised my eyebrows, and said, “Ah! I see!”
I went back out and found the dining room table moved, and Maryanne and Trish spreading sleeping bags, pillows, and quilts out on the floor. I asked Trish how her bruises were, and she showed me that her breasts were completely bruise-free as was her clitoris. “This is amazing!” she said. “Usually it takes days, even a week for them to clear up! I guess whatever makes us young is accelerating healing, too!”
“I’m very glad,” I said. “Those bruises really worried me. Jen seems fine, too.”
Deb and Linda walked in, and Linda said, “We saw Miri and Lynn just pulling up outside, and Judy called a few minutes ago. She found Jane going into a less-than-reputable bar. She’s bringing her now.”
“How would you like to handle this?” I asked Deb.
“Give me some time with her,” she said. “I’ll try to remove the memory block about you. She should still be a submissive after I’m done, but if I manage it right, she should remember the links as only dreams. I really hope I don’t mess this up again!”
“You’ll do fine, I’m sure,” I said. “Just make sure to use the regular family programming with her.”
“I will,” she said. “I’ve done that enough that I could do it in my sleep. I’m also going to point her toward being particularly subservient to Jen. This is what I should have done yesterday.”
“You’ll make it right,” I said confidently.
Miri and Lynn came in with their arms full of gift-wrapped things. Lynn took a look at the floor and said, “Oh, my!” Then the smile bloomed on her face like a sped-up sunrise. Miri giggled and said, “You knew this was coming!”
Lynn answered, “Yes, but seeing is believing!”
Everyone laughed at that. I told her, “We’ve all been there. None of us could really believe it until it actually happened to us! This is about love, and joy, pleasure, and family. You’ll see.”
The two went around to hug everyone, and asked, “What can we do to help?”
“Well, you can go relax in the hot tub,” I said. “We’ve got some things to take care of before we get started. Jane is coming back, and she and Deb are going to have a talk and get some things straightened out, a problem our anger created. Some of us will be out in a while to bubble with you, okay?”
They nodded, removed their clothes and put them near the wall, and went out to get in the tub. Sera and Ellie went with them.
Just as they went, there was a knock at the door. It was Judy and Jane. “Come in,” I said.
As they came in, Jane looked at me. They walked into the living room, and Jane, still examining me, asked, “Have we met before? Do I know you? You look ... you seem familiar.”
“We have met before, but you may not remember me. It has been a long time, back at the camp we both went to as kids.”
“Oh,” she said, and nodded, still trying to place me.
“Why are there so many naked women about?” she asked, looking at the several ladies still preparing the room, bringing out the food, and so on.
“These are my ladies,” I said. “They are the mothers of my children. This is my family.”
“Oh!” Jane said, blushing. “Oh, I want...”
“You want to have a child, too, don’t you? Well, you will have to go talk with Deb. Thank you, Judy, for bringing Jane, here. We do appreciate it!”
Deb appeared, holding a cup. “Follow Deb, now, Jane,” I told her firmly.
Jane looked from me to Deb, then slowly followed her into the guest bedroom.
As the door closed, Judy cocked an eyebrow at me. “Linda told me what happened yesterday, and said there was a mistake that Deb had to set right. What is going on?”
I explained what Jane had done, and Judy bristled, ready to go in and arrest Jane. “Wait, let me finish,” I asked her. “The link broke with Jane, and we thought it would be best if Jane wouldn’t remember us. Deb ... hypnotized Jane into forgetting us, and then found out that Jane still needed to have my baby, and would try to find a ‘me’ she didn’t know to make her pregnant. Jane flipped from domme to submissive, and would try to find ‘me’ in particularly dominating guys, and we were afraid that she would wind up with abusers, having baby after baby with the wrong guys, and probably get hurt or worse in doing so.”
“Jesus. No wonder.”
“Yes. Deb is going to try to restore her memory of me, and do some psychological work with her over time so that she can work through some of her anger at being teased and bullied in school, which was apparently the root of her fear and anger and need to punish. Deb told me that acting like a dominant male with her now would ... I don’t know, ping on her radar, I guess. Attract her interest. We didn’t expect her to find me familiar. Maybe she was in less danger than we thought. I don’t know. But at least we can restore her memory of me. Then she can make her decisions.”
“Wow. Interesting problems you guys have!” remarked Judy.
“Tell me about it!” I said. “I just wanted to have a child with my wife! Absolutely none of this was expected, or desired, or even dreamed of!”
Judy waved to Linda, who came over to hug her. “So, are you going to stay for the celebration?” asked Linda.
“Can I?” Judy asked.
“Certainly!” Linda replied. “We’re welcoming the last two family members, and I guess we’ll see what happens with Jane. But it’s going to be a party and an orgy! Drinks are straight from Jen’s titties...”
“Oh, God! How can I pass that up?” laughed Judy, blushing.
“You can’t, and you know it! You keep a big red happy button there!” Linda chortled. “Besides, you gotta meet the newbies! They’re Dave’s old grade school teachers! He says they look exactly like they did when he first met them. They’re very schoolteachery’ from a Christian school but without the usual judginess. Come on, I’ll introduce you! Leave your clothes over there with theirs.”
Linda took Judy into the back once she stripped, intent on making the introductions. I looked toward the guest room door and waited.
After a few minutes, I heard a strange sound from the room, and went to the door to hear it better. It was crying. I opened the door to find Jane in tears, huddled in Deb’s arms. I went in and quietly shut the door behind me.
Deb looked up at me and nodded toward the bed next to her. I sat down, and Jane looked at me.
“Dave ... oh, Dave ... I’m so sorry!” Jane sobbed.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I’ve been such an evil bitch! I was worse than anyone ever was to me! I hurt people and I enjoyed it! Over and over again! Oh, God!”
“This is the Jane you remember, Dave,” Deb said. “I helped her remember you from when she was a teenager, and the whole dam broke. She remembers everything, but as the teenager who was buried under all that anger and hatred and fear. The real her, not the sadistic shell she became.”
“Oh, Dave! I’ve destroyed people’s lives! People have committed suicide because of me! I deserve to die, or worse, much worse! Oh, God, what can I do?”
“Well ... you can start with Jen. You can apologize, and try to make things right with her. Then you can try to make things as right as you can with the others you’ve hurt, person by person. Carefully. Very carefully, so that you don’t do more damage. Try to live in a way that gives instead of takes, builds instead of destroys, heals instead of harms. You think?”
“I’ve done so many bad things!”
“Look, you take it step by step, break it down into achievable goals. When you can’t fix something, you do something else good where you can.”
“Oh, Dave, you’re being so much nicer than I deserve!”
“No, I’m not. That isn’t being nice. I’m telling you to do the hardest things, the most painful things. To take responsibility for your actions.”
“I ... I will,” Jane said. “Do you think I can be forgiven? Do you forgive me?”
“Only those you have hurt can forgive you. You can forgive you for the harms you have done to yourself by making those bad choices, but part of that is trying to make it as right as possible again. It doesn’t work if you don’t follow through, and that is something many people never learn. You have to deliberately change who you are, how and why you act, and how you think. Some people you will never be able to help directly without doing even more damage, and those people you will have to help indirectly, anonymously, and without ever hearing the words that they forgive you, if they ever can or do. I can only forgive you for the pain you caused me by hurting Jen and causing the rest if the family pain and anger for that hurt. I will forgive you when you make it right with Jen and the family. Each of them will have to do their own forgiving. You will have to talk to each of them about it.”
“Dave ... I still need to have your baby ... what am I going to do? Is that still possible?”
“It is possible. Make a start with the family, and we’ll see. If you really change, and try your best to make what amends you can, I think you might make a good mother, setting a good example for a child.”
Deb seemed to approve of the tack I was taking with Jane. I was glad at least that she was feeling better.
I said to Deb, “Why don’t you go out and let people know what’s happened here?” She nodded, stood, and left the room.
“What do you remember about the family?” I asked Jane. She flinched, and I qualified, “Beyond what you did.”
“They’re all having your babies...” she started.
“We’re all having children, the women are pregnant and will bear and deliver them, but each child will have a mother, and me as a father, and lots of family members to help raise them and teach them,” I corrected her. “What else?”
“It’s about love,” she said. “I don’t think I really understood that before ... I mean, I thought it was weak and pathetic. I was wrong. I’d forgotten love, real love. I’d pushed the memories of Mom and Dad and my grandparents and you and my teachers and friends away because I was so angry and bitter. I was wrong. I feel so stupid!”
“What else?”
“Helping each other. I mean, not just with doing things, but for important things. Like after what I did yesterday, I bet everyone was there for Jen. Helped her. Got angry at me for her.”
“Yes, but that anger wound up causing even more problems. Being there and loving her was more important. Did you know it was Jen who was worried about you and what might happen to you?”
“No. Oh, God! Really? She is such a good person!” said Jane.
“She hasn’t always been,” I said. “She helped break up my marriage to Deb long ago. But she changed. You can change, too.”
“I’ve got to talk to her!”
“In a minute or two. Wait,” I said. “My point is, you can change how you act, what you think, and even how you feel. It takes work. It’s hard work, paying attention to everything you do, think, or feel, evaluating its goodness and correcting yourself when you start to go wrong, preferably before it gets outside of your head and into the world to affect others. It gets easier as you get in the habit.”
“There’s a lot of sex and pleasure, too,” Jane said.
“I’d say that’s a benefit of being in the family. A privilege.”
“Can I go talk to Jen, now? I really feel bad!”
“Let’s go,” I said.
We walked out into the living room, and everyone was waiting. Jane went to Jen, got down on her knees, and said, “Jen, I am so sorry for what I did yesterday. I knew you wanted ... no, needed me to stop, and I didn’t. I enjoyed that I was hurting you. I ... was trying to get even with people I haven’t seen for years, and I took it out on you, and on others, too many others. I hope that you’ll allow me to try to make amends. The me I was yesterday would never ... allow someone that grace. I don’t deserve it, but I hope you will. I am truly, deeply sorry!”
Jen took a moment to study Jane’s face, and then bent down and pulled Jane up, then solemnly hugged her and nodded. Jane hugged her back, tears streaming down her face.
Jane turned to everyone else, and said, “I apologize for the hurt, anger and distress that what I did to Jen caused all of you. I have been a terrible, selfish bitch for a very long time, but I ... I understand just how terrible I’ve been, now. I promise I will do my best to be a much better and more considerate person from now on. I hope you will allow me to make it up to you, as well.”
The group also took a moment to study Jane, then Sera said, “I do.” She was followed by Maryanne, Trish, and Linda, then Janice and Deb. Ellie took another moment, and said, “If you do it again, I will have a very big problem with you, and that will be a very big problem for you. Do you understand?”
“I do,” said Jane. “Dave told me yesterday I was lucky you had left. I will do my very best to not hurt anyone again, I promise.”
“Okay. As long as you understand that,” said Ellie.
Judy said, “Just so you know, you could be charged with rape for what you did. Never, ever, ignore it when someone says ‘stop’ or ‘no’. Do you understand? You are lucky she isn’t pressing charges. At the very least, you would lose your law license. The very least. I’m astonished it hasn’t happened yet. It still might.”
Jane blanched, and nodded, quite frightened. Then she nodded to herself, as if to say, ‘If it happens, I will deserve it.‘ She held her hand to her face in shame for a full minute.
Then Jane looked to Miri and Lynn, who said “We only felt how people felt about it, and a bit of what Jen felt, so we weren’t ... are you okay, dear?”
“I didn’t feel ... what you felt! What hap ... why... ?” stammered Jane.
“The link got broken when you did what you did,” I said, as gently as I could.
Jane looked stunned, then crushed, and she collapsed to the floor in silent tears. “Oh ... oh, no... !”
Miri said, “I’m so sorry, dear!”
“I did this,” she said. “I could have felt so much love, and I cut myself off from it. I would only have missed the sex, before, but now...”
I walked forward to her and helped her up. “I am sorry about that ... now. You never know. Miracles can happen. Maybe someday it may happen for you again. I want to tell you that I forgive you for the pain and anger I felt. The family seems to have accepted your apologies. If you want to try again to be a part of the family, I think we will accept you. This you.”
There were murmurs of agreement around the circle of family members.
“Now,” I said, “we’re really here to welcome Miri and Lynn to the family! Jen has made all kinds of finger foods to enjoy, and since we no longer have enough chairs for everyone, we’re eating on the floor. I’d like to take a moment to give thanks, for everything!”
There was a moment of silence and each of us gave thanks in our own way. Then everyone sat down and the trays of food were laid out and passed around. Jen, our “milk dispenser” sat in the middle and people would suckle at her breasts as needed, often two at a time. Jen had an egg vibrator inside her pussy and the numbing cream on her button, and had several deep vaginal orgasms during the meal.
Dinner was quite sensual, with everyone feeding each other with a great deal of finger-sucking and licking. As people’s hunger was sated, the sucking and licking moved beyond fingers to other body parts.
Miri and Lynn became the foci, of course. Ellie kissed her way up from Miri’s toes up to her pussy as Deb moved behind her, supporting Miri’s back while kissing and sucking on her neck, cupping her breasts so that Sera and Maryanne could kiss and nibble at them. Maryanne would occasionally stop and blow on Miri’s nipples, and Miri would groan and pull Maryanne’s head toward her breast, directing her lips back to her nipple. Miri was moaning and undulating in pleasure from all the sources of wonderful stimulation. She wrapped her legs around Ellie’s shoulders as she reached her sex, pulling Ellie’s face to where she desperately needed it.
I was mirroring Ellie’s actions with Lynn, while Sera was behind Lynn mirroring Deb’s. Sera and Janice were at Lynn’s breasts. Trish moved behind Deb, legs wide, and reached around her to finger and stroke Deb’s wet pussy and button. After watching Trish a moment, Jane did the same for Sera.
Jen moved over to Judy, and after the two had a whispered conversation and after Judy had suckled at Jen’s breasts, they began to scissor together. Jen grabbed my ankle while Judy reached over to grab Trish’s. The circuit was completed, and the next thing anyone knew, we were all immersed in amazing sexual sensations.
This was an incredibly powerful experience -- it was all of the family, with the single exception of Jane, that were present in the link, and all of our sensations. As the only male, it was an enormous amount of feminine sensation, emotion, and need. From a scattering in the network an idea, a desire, rapidly spread, like flame racing along the surface of a puddle of gasoline until it was an inferno of desire -- FUCK! FUCK NOW!
It was a summons, a demand, a command. My body moved to answer it, almost without my volition. I moved up, and mounted Lynn, thrusting deep into her tight warm velvet need. The entirety of the family focused on that, participated in it. I felt the women’s attention on my cock inside her/them, while at the same time we all felt her pussy’s embracing grip upon it.
Lynn’s deep brown eyes were wide, a look of shock and wonder on her face, her mouth in an “O” that moved into a smile that was combined with a look of concentration, pleasure, and lust. She nodded and said, “Yes!”, a word that also came from all the other women at the same time. I knew, without looking, that every other woman’s face had the same look I was seeing on Lynn’s. From Lynn I knew that my own face had the very same look on it.
The thrust into her, and its pleasure. The feeling of being filled, steadily, and the pleasure of the two together. The feeling of completeness buried deep inside her/me/us.
As I thrust slowly, slightly increasing the pace as we needed, besides the sensations and feelings I also felt the network of links, including the “dead end.” That end was seeking to connect where it should, but was having trouble, like it was undecided about something, if that is the right word, or couldn’t find the right connection it needed. The network was growing stronger as we made love.
It was, in fact, lovemaking rather than just sex -- the love in the network was palpable, and the sex and the pleasure were an inseparable part of it. I realized I was making love with every woman I loved, would ever love, and the feeling was like making a love to a goddess. I felt if I closed my eyes I would see all of my ladies looking up at me as I filled them with my love, as channeled through my cock. They were all in Lynn, looking up at me through her eyes, gripping my cock with their amazing velvet sunshine sex. We were moving faster now, as the wave of climax drew back from the shore, sucking itself in for the hot wet release. This was the sexual equivalent of a tidal wave, I realized. Their focus went inward, in, in as I thrust harder and faster and deeper ... and it was deeper!
Oh. Oh... ! I was inside them! Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, in our very souls, maybe. Here comes the wave, we could feel it rolling in, growing larger and larger, the moans and cries perfectly synchronized, unanimous, and Here. It. Was...
The feeling was like what happened with Ellie at Thanksgiving, only magnified exponentially. The network of linkages surged and reinforced and ... split? Grew? The shock of two new minds and bodies and hearts pulled into the union was a minor detail in the giant, orchestral chord of ecstatic, joyful pleasure of a truly ... massive ... orgasm. It felt like I was Man pumping life and liquid sunshine into Woman. The feeling of so many women cumming, and of calling the seed into the depths, being filled with that seed and wanting it, wanting its Life inside them, was beyond words, beyond ecstacy, and was a pleasure so massive it was everything.
Someone, thankfully, let go somewhere, and the feeling of all oneness faded to manageable proportions. Thank God! I suspect if that hadn’t happened we would have permanently fused into a single mind, the Family Mind. Trying to think hurt. Feeling and experiencing were all I could do for a long, long minute.
I realized I was sprawled atop Lynn, utterly spent. I heard a woman’s voice say, “Oh my God! Ohmigod! I felt it!” It was Judy. With a shock, I realized it wasn’t that I recognized the voice, it was that I felt Judy’s surprise. She was linked with the family now, and she was happy about this, what she had thought was an impossible fantasy.
Also fully present was Jane, who was giving a prayer of thanks for the mercy of restoration of her connection to the family. Her gratitude was, frankly, humbling. In her prayer she was swearing she would treasure each member of the family, and to work to right all of the harm she had done in her life.
I was feeling this without Ellie’s touch, though I did have to focus on feeling them.
Louise
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