Badge of Dishonor Ch 19
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The first week that Victoria was gone was hell. The girls tried their best to keep me occupied and distracted, but most of the time it didn't work. Besides, Amy had her own demons to fight. She was very upset about Victoria leaving. Had she been there when Victoria left, I think it might have gotten very ugly. That was probably why Victoria did it the way she did. I will say one thing for Victoria, however; she did her best to stay in contact with the girls. She called them several times each week. I overheard one conversation between Amy and her that started out mainly as monosyllabic answers from Amy. There is nothing in the world Amy loves to do more than talk, so that in itself said volumes. Victoria noticed it and must have commented on it.
"What do you want me to say, mother? You want me to agree with you on this? I don't. You walked out on him. You ripped his heart out, and I'm left here trying to hold the pieces together, trying to keep him from just lying down and dying. There is no reason good enough to do this to him, mother. I love you, but don't expect me to be all warm and cuddly over this. He doesn't have a wife and I don't have a mom and neither of us is very happy over that."
Apparently, Victoria decided that talking to Amy wasn't going to be a pleasant experience, so she asked to talk to me. Amy rolled her eyes, stuck out her tongue at the phone, handed it to me, and left the room.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hi. How are you?" I have to admit, she did sound like she really wanted to know.
"Just fine. Haven't had this much fun in years. How are you?" I'm not sure I sounded like I really wanted to know. It still hurt, bad. I was glad to hear her voice. It just made it hurt worse, though.
"Amy is really mad at me. I guess that's not surprising. I know how she feels about you. I wish I could tell her how sorry I am."
"Victoria, she feels the same way about you. You are her hero. She doesn't understand how you can say you love me and then walk out. I can't say I blame her. It's a little confusing to me, too."
"You're not going to make this easy, are you?" Victoria asked. I thought I heard her stifle a small sob.
"Victoria, this doesn't have to be hard. It's easy; just come home. Whatever is bothering you, we can work it out. How bad can it be? Before I knew what you did for a living, do you know what crossed my mind that your job was? I considered you might be a prostitute, with all the lies about where you went, the unscheduled night trips. I still loved you. Honey, I have seen you kill three men. I've seen two others I know you killed. I still loved you, not even a question about it. What can be worse than all that?"
"You've never seen me do this," she whispered, tears in her voice.
"Look, Victoria, you say you left me so you wouldn't hurt me anymore. But you hurt me every day, and Amy too, by leaving. And you will continue hurting me for the rest of my life. I am not going anywhere. I am not looking for anyone new. Ever. I love you, and I will always love you. I will spend the rest of my life loving you, only you. That will not change. Whenever you get this figured out, no matter when it is, no matter where you are, I will be waiting for you. You are always welcome to come home, no matter when. There is nothing you can do about that, nothing you can do to stop it. Do you think not having you here, spending the rest of my life alone is going to hurt less than what you would tell me? Do you really think I can forget you, that I can find someone to take your place?" I was being brutally honest, but she needed to know how I felt if she was going through with this.
"God, I am going to miss you! I love you so much! Maybe someday..." She was sobbing as she hung up.
I stared at the wall for several minutes, and then I got up and went to talk to Amy. She was lying on her back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I sat on the bed and shifted her head onto my lap. I stroked her hair and reached down to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulled my head down, and kissed me eagerly. When we broke from kissing, I played with her pretty hair, and started to talk to her.
"Amy, you know I just love you to pieces, don't you?" She nodded. "Honey, you told your Mom what you thought tonight. That's good; she needed to know how you feel. Now you need to let it lie, and let her be a mother to you. If we keep bugging her, she'll never come back. She's going through some hard times, similar to what you went through when Cindi died. We just have to be there for her, love her, help her any way we can."
"I know, Dad, but she just makes me so mad. How can she just walk away like that? I know she loves us. I just don't understand."
"I don't either. But hassling her isn't going to help. Just be nice to her, ok?"
"Ok. I really miss her, though. I miss you, too," she whispered hungrily. I slipped into bed with her and cuddled up to her. We kissed for a while, while slowly undressing each other. "We've never made love in my bed before," she whispered. She was excited. Then I kissed her and touched her, and she got really excited. We didn't talk for quite awhile after that. We slept all night in her bed.
The next day I called Captain Jensen. I had to do something about these nightmares. I was no longer convinced they were just nightmares. They were way too vivid and realistic. I asked him to find out everything he could about a Julie Anderson. When he asked for specifics, I described her face as I saw it in my nightmares. When he asked her last known residence and occupation, I told him the place and told him she had died 23 years ago. He was way too much of a professional to tell me I was crazy, but I'm sure he thought I was. Hell, I thought I was too, but it was the only place I knew to start. We had experience with people who were supposed to be dead that turned up mysteriously alive.
There was one bright spot over the last two weeks. One day, the girls came home from school, with Amy towing behind her one of the strays she was wont to pick up periodically. If it was homeless or lonely, be it human or animal, Amy was drawn to it. This 'stray' was human. She was a pretty little girl, about 14 years old, maybe 5' 3'' tall, 100-105 lbs, and the most beautiful curly red hair down past her shoulders I had ever seen. I said Amy was towing her and that was about right; the poor girl was obviously very shy, and was in the grasps of the hurricane we call Amy. Amy introduced her as Megan and said she was hanging around school, waiting for her mom to pick her up. She asked if it was ok if she waited at our house. Why not? One more pretty little girl around wasn't going to hurt any. Megan gave me a tiny 'hello' and a shy little smile and they disappeared into Amy's room. About 5:00, a car pulled into the driveway, beeped, and Megan was out the door, saying it was her Mom.
Megan showed up with Amy again the next day. This time, Amy pulled me aside to talk to me.
"Dad, she's stuck at school everyday until 5:00 when her Mom picks her up. I don't know about her Dad, but he apparently isn't around. Can she just come here every day? She's new in town and doesn't know anywhere else to go. She just hangs around school. Please, Daddy? She's really nice." Amy looked at me with those big begging eyes that she knew I couldn't resist. I told her sure, no problem.
Megan started showing up everyday. She was a sweet little girl, very polite, very quiet and shy. She seemed really smart and friendly once you got through the shyness. After a while, she got over the shyness a little, and started saying hi without looking at the floor and blushing. I even got her to start calling me by my first name. One day towards the end of the week, Amy and I were horsing around, tickling and wrestling on the floor, when Amy reached out and grabbed Megan by the ankle, pulling her down with us. Of course, we both started tickling her. She was giggling hysterically and begging us to stop. Suddenly, she put her arms around my neck and kissed my neck.
"Stop, Daddy!" She whispered, and then kissed me on the lips. Then she suddenly realized what she had done. She turned red, and tried to get up and run out of the room as she started crying. I held her and kissed her on the forehead.
"It's ok, sweetheart. You can call me Daddy. I don't mind. Lots of Amy's friends do"
"But... I don't want to make Amy jealous. She won't like it!" She was still crying.
"Amy, do you mind if Megan calls me Daddy?" I asked her.
"No, I wish you were her daddy," Amy replied. I put my arms around Megan and pulled her over on my lap. She sighed and laid her head against my chest, closing her eyes. I stroked her pretty red hair and kissed her cheek. She threw her arms around my neck again and kissed me again. It was definitely not a kiss normally given to a daddy.
"Do you kiss your Daddy that way too?" I asked softly, hoping I wouldn't embarrass her. It didn't work; she turned red again.
"I did," she said in a tiny voice, and started crying again.
"Honey, is your daddy still around?" I wasn't sure how to ask this. She shook her head no. "Do you ever see him?" I asked. She shook her head again and started crying again.
"He's dead. I miss him so much!" She sobbed. I just held on to her and let her cry. I didn't know what to say. I hate it when pretty little girls are sad. It's even worse when they cry.
Later, we sat on the couch, Amy on one side, and Megan on the other, cuddling together, watching TV. As we were kidding around, Amy leaned over and kissed me. Not the way a daughter should kiss her Dad when others are watching.
"Amy!" I hissed, rolling my eyes over at Megan. Amy looked embarrassed that she had forgotten. Then I felt a little hand on my cheek, turning my head towards Megan. As I turned, Megan kissed me, full on the lips, and slipped her tongue into my mouth. I was stunned for a few seconds, and then I kissed her back. She moved over to kiss my ear and neck and whispered in my ear.
"My Daddy and I did other things, too. Would you like to do those with me, too? I really miss doing things with him and I really, really like you!" She giggled. Then, in a move I never would have expected from such a shy little girl, she took my hand and slipped it up inside her skirt, laying it on the front of her panties. She held it there as she kissed me again. I could feel she was wet already. I was shocked. I turned my head towards Amy, pleading for help with my eyes. Amy was a big help. She took my other hand, slipped it up inside her skirt, and laid it on her panties. Thanks a lot, Amy. She grinned at me, not sorry at all. I rubbed both of their panties softly, listening to them gasp as I rubbed their little clits. I slipped my finger inside their panties, and continued to stroke them softly. It didn't take long for Amy to cry out softly as she had an orgasm. Megan, being not as experienced and a little nervous, had not gotten there yet. After Amy recovered, she moved over and snuggled up to Megan, holding her and whispering in her ear. Then she whispered to me.
"Eat her out, Daddy! She'll really love that!" Megan just looked at us, eyes half closed, as she whimpered and cried out softly, obviously enjoying herself immensely.
"I don't know, Amy. I don't feel right doing this, with the problems Victoria and I are having. I know she wouldn't mind if I did all your cheerleader friends, but it almost seems like cheating after she moved out," I whispered. I didn't want Megan to hear us and get her feelings hurt.
"Daddy, you know Mommy won't mind. The poor girl is hurting, missing her Daddy. You know Mommy will probably yell at you if you don't help her out. Do you want me to call and ask her?" She giggled.
I swatted her little butt for being a smart aleck. I know I wanted to believe that Victoria wouldn't mind. Megan was so pretty and her tears and sadness about missing her Daddy really upset me. Amy decided to help and slipped Megan's panties off for her. Megan looked at me, pleading with her eyes. She took the decision out of my hands, as she gently pulled my head down between her legs. She cried softly, tears running down her face.
"Please? I won't tell anyone. I promise. Mommy wouldn't be upset even if she knew. She knew about Daddy and me," Megan whispered.
I slowly, softly licked the insides of her thighs, moving upwards towards her pussy. She whimpered softly and wiggled, trying to get me there faster. I licked her slit, from her asshole all the way up to her clit. She trembled all over and put her fist in her mouth to keep from crying out. I guess that was habit from when she used to play with her Daddy at night. I sucked her clit into my mouth and licked and sucked it, watching her close her eyes and gasp for breath. I very slowly licked and sucked her, until finally she was trembling all over, moving very slowly towards an orgasm. I didn't speed up, determined to make her come with my slow licks. Finally, she bit her fist and screamed into it, trying to muffle her sounds as much as possible. I kept licking and sucking her until she collapsed on the couch, gasping for breath, eyes closed.
I moved up and held her close to me. She wrapped her arms around me and trembled, calling out for her Daddy over and over, quietly. I told her I was here, and she sighed and seemed to go to sleep.
Amy was beside herself with excitement. She cuddled up close to both of us and moaned.
"Are you going to make love to her, Daddy?" She asked breathlessly.
"No, not tonight, honey. Except for Cindi, I have never made love to anyone without you Mom knowing I was going to do it with that person. Just because she is gone, I am not going to change that. I probably shouldn't have gone as far as I did, but she looked like she needed it so bad. When she wakes up, why don't you take her into the bathroom and help her shower? Give her a pair of your panties to wear; hers needs to be cleaned. Then we can snuggle for awhile."
Amy looked at me with wide eyes. Then she hugged me tightly.
"I love you, Daddy. Mom must be crazy. She better get this figured out soon, or I am going to talk to her!"
"Remember what I said. Don't hassle her," I warned her. She helped Megan up, stuck out her tongue at me, and they went off to the bathroom. I decided to join them, and between the two of us, we made sure Megan was clean. She just held on to us weakly, eyes closed. She shrieked when I couldn't stand looking at her pretty body that close anymore, and made her come again with my fingers.
Later, we cuddled on the couch together, watching a movie. She told me that when her mom picked her up today, she would come to the door, as she didn't know what time she would be here. About 5:30, I heard a car pull into the driveway. A minute later, the doorbell rang. I opened the door to let Megan's mother in, and my mouth fell open with shock. There, standing in the doorway was my college roommate's girlfriend and later wife, Samantha!
I recognized her right away, even though I had not seen her in 14 years or so. My mind flashed back to the weekend we had spent together, in each other's arms, naked, all weekend long. She looked as good as she did then. I felt myself blush as I stood there, looking at her. Then I remembered how she had gotten engaged less than two months after that, because she was pregnant. I looked back at Megan. Could she be... ?
I saw Samantha laughing at me.
"Aren't you going to invite me in? Or are you going to make me stand out here all night while you gawk?" I blushed again, this time from embarrassment, and stepped aside to let her in.
We sat and chatted for a while, catching up on old times. I was really upset to hear that Robert had died. We had lost contact with each other shortly after both our marriages, when they had moved out of the country. While we were talking, Katie and Becky came home, so shortly after we were inundated with teenage giggles, laughs and squeals as the four of them had fun. Before I could get details on the things I wanted to hear about, the phone rang. Since it didn't look like the giggle corps was going to answer it, I picked it up. It was Victoria.
"Hi, what's going on there? It sounds like you are having a party!" I could hear the smile in her voice. That was so good to hear!
"There is someone here you will want to talk to, but you have to guess who. One of your oldest and best friends. And her daughter." I couldn't resist the temptation to tease her. I knew she would guess it right away with that clue.
"Samantha?!? Oh, I have to talk to her!" Then she got more subdued and serious. "Did you know Robert died? I just found out today, that's why I was calling you. Other than just to talk. How does she appear to be doing? How is her daughter? Is she cute? She must be 14 years old now, right? What's her name again?" Victoria hadn't talked this much, with this much interest, in weeks. I felt butterflies in my stomach.
"I don't know how she is doing yet. The giggle corps kicked into full throttle before we could actually talk much. Her daughter's name is Megan. She is really cute. She has actually been coming over here after school for a couple of weeks, but I didn't have any idea who she was. She's really nice. We get along really well. She calls me Daddy!" I was so thrilled that Victoria was being human that I was babbling.
"The poor kid! It must be tough to not have her Dad. I know she really loved him. So did Samantha. You better be especially nice to Megan," she giggled. I hadn't heard that sound in a long time!
"I'm always nice to the girls that come over here! You know that. That's why I'm the favorite Dad in the group."
"Patrick John Phillips, you know what I am talking about! She and her father were really close, in a special way. I expect you to be especially nice to her, in a special way also. You know what I am talking about. Just because you and I are having problems and I'm not there, don't you start changing and getting all noble on me. I expect you to act just as you always have. And don't forget Samantha. She may need some extra attention, too." She giggled again.
"Are you saying... ?"
"You know what I am saying! Samantha has always been special to you. She may need help coping. And I know how you are with teary eyed teenage girls. Relax, dear. I'm not trying to pawn you off on them or trying to get rid of you to make my decision easier. How you help those two cope with Robert's death is not going to affect our relationship, whatever it is right now, one bit. In fact, if you don't act as you normally would, I am going to very upset with you. And Patrick... I do still love you. That has never been the issue. Now, let me talk to Samantha!"
I called Samantha into the other room so she could hear above the din, and gave her the phone. She said hi, then started squealing like the teenagers in the other room, and started crying. I left the room to give her some privacy. As I walked into the living room, Amy looked up, right into my eyes, and mouthed, "Told you!" Damn! Certifiable genius. Was there no privacy from this kid? After Samantha and Victoria were done talking, she walked in and gave the phone to Megan, while giving me a funny little smile. Megan wasn't sure who Victoria was at first, so she got all shy for a while, but Victoria can get a deaf mute to talk. Once she understood who she was, she looked at me with a guilty look on her face, remembering what we had done earlier, and what she had wanted to do. I winked at her and mouthed that it was ok. She smiled and relaxed. Amy grinned at me. Go away, little mind reader!
Just about the time we hung up, after all the girls had talked to Victoria for a while, the doorbell rang again. I let in Victoria's parents. I had forgotten that they were taking the girls for the night. As they were getting ready to go, Megan was standing there looking like her favorite puppy had died. My girls are pretty perceptive, so it didn't take long for them to figure it out.
"Daddy," Katie asked, "Can Megan go with us and spend the night?" You would have thought that someone had just proclaimed Megan homecoming queen or something, the way her whole face lit up. She looked at her mother with a pleading look in her eyes.
"Well, honey, you will have to ask her mother and your grandparents about that," I said, passing the buck. Well, of course, they said yes, and of course then the girls had to all hold on to each other and jump up and down and squeal in the middle of the room.
"So, Megan, do you like coming over here after school everyday?" Samantha asked. By way of an answer, Megan ran over to me and leaped into my arms, wrapping her arms and legs around me.
"I love it, Mommy! Patrick is so cool, and Amy and Katie and Becky are really nice. Can I keep coming here?" She hugged me and kissed me. I was turning red. Everyone else was laughing. Samantha came over and tickled Megan in the sides, making her shriek and let go of me.
"Give the poor guy a break, will you? You're strangling him. Not to mention embarrassing the heck out of him," Samantha laughed.
Soon, everyone was gone except Samantha and me. We looked at each other, trying to get our hearing back, then she walked over, put her arms around my neck, and kissed me. Really kissed me. Her hug and kiss said she really missed me. Then she whispered in my ear.
"Victoria said I am to take very special care of you tonight. She said it had been awhile since you two had been... together. What did she mean? What's going on?" She looked really concerned when my eyes got misty.
I didn't want to go into details about things that were no one's business, so I just told her Victoria was going through a rough time and we had separated for a while. She looked at me with big sad eyes.
"She told me it was all her, not you." She bit her lower lip. "Patrick, Victoria told me to stay with you tonight, to sleep with you, to make love to you. She assured me it was perfectly ok with her, just like last time. Please don't worry; I'm not going to try to take you away from her or tie you down. I know you and Victoria were made for each other and you will get it worked out eventually. But, I've got to tell you, I really want to spend the night with you. Especially you. I would just like a really friendly, soft shoulder to cry on, and a nice body to wake up to every now and then."
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