Jokes And GigglesChapter 104 free porn video

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British Humour is Different

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

And the WINNER is...

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Children Are Quick

TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this child)

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie ... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand...

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's...
Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

(I want to adopt this kid!!!)

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

This one is complements of JZ

Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

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There weren’t many people in Andee’s day-to-day life that knew about her naughty little secret. Even though she had been posing on an adult website for over twelve years, she had managed to keep it under wraps for the most part; and the people to whom she did disclose the information fell into two categories: intimate friends and persons of seductive interest.Her good friend Bella – a wild one in her own right – was someone Andee had entrusted with the knowledge. In fact, Bella had often played...

Andee Learns Just What Stays in Vegas

Andee carefully removed the letter from the envelope. She had just come home from work to find it placed on her pillow, plainly marked "Just For You." She knew it was from her husband, as he had departed on his business trip earlier that day. And, as he often did, he had some scheme cooked up to add a little excitement to her life. This time the plan was for her to travel to meet him at the end of his trip in Las Vegas. He was attending a trade show and managed to get an extra flight. What she...

Fernanda Teenage Lust

I had just finished my first year of college and my mom and dad insisted that I go with them on a quick summer trip to visit one of mom’s old college buddies in Austin, Texas. Normally, I don’t mind such gatherings, but for some reason or another, Austin just didn’t appeal to me. I had been there many years before and didn’t find the city attractive. When we arrived, there were the customary hugs and greetings- since our family is Hispanic. (You have to love a culture that embraces hugging!) I...

Andee Returns to Las Vegas

Andee settled in for another flight. Her new job had been taking her all over the place the past few months, but the light was almost at the end of the tunnel. This trip to Las Vegas would be the last for the year. The other bonus is that she only had to spend a couple days on her own, as her husband had managed to make some changes to his own plans and would meet her for a bit of an extended weekend. The last time they had been together in Sin City, things had been … interesting. It was a...

Andee Returns to Las Vegas Chapter 2

Andee smiled as she read the text message on her phone. Before breakfast, she had sent a somewhat vague note to her friend from the night before about wanting to try Roulette again, wondering if he might interpret the suggested sexual undertones – especially after the enthusiastic round of sex from the night before. She thought for a moment, wondering just how acquainted she wanted to get with Connor. It seemed her “one-night stands” in her sexual adventure were more like weekend-long affairs,...

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