The Battered LampChapter 28 The Deciet of the Si lat
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The end of the year holidays were approaching, and Liz managed to get a job as a sales assistant in a big department store. She would start before the holidays, and would continue through to the discount sales afterwards. Then she would be visiting her home for a few days, and Mina would come to see us after the actual Christmas holidays. Once again she borrowed my car, and before she left she made sure that we both would be sore for days.
When the time actually came, I had prepared myself as much as I could, making sure that I had movies to watch and books to read. I was still sure that it would suck.
The bright moments were the video calls with Liz, but it would have been better without calling the twins or my mother. I heard multiple times that I was unreasonable heartless bastard. As all people make mistakes I should have been able to forgive Helen a single mistake. After all, I 'certainly was no saint myself, and had been married for twenty years, for God's sake.'
I was polite and listened, and didn't trash Helen at any point. So, she had admitted that she had made a single mistake, yet they all were sure that I had been much worse, and therefore I should apologize to her and come back home. I just wondered what I had done wrong while raising my sons.
Against my better judgment I found myself talking to Helen, too. However, I made sure that I was recording the call. I was sure that she was doing it, too. Suddenly, I felt really sad. Here was I, talking to the person whom I had loved and cherished for twenty years, and now the most important thing was to make sure that nothing I said could be used against me, or could stop the divorce proceedings again.
"Hi, Helen. How are you?"
"Miserable. Why can't you come back? You are the only man I have ever loved."
"And you are the woman I loved and trusted. I guess I'll always love you some."
"Why don't you come back, then? We can work this out. I can make you forget."
"No, you can't make me forget, Helen. Ever."
"But sure you can forgive me? After all, he blackmailed me."
"Sure I can forgive you. But I'm sure that I would never really trust you. And it would never work in the long run."
"We could make it work. I would make it worth that for you."
"Helen, how can I trust you, if you can't even tell the truth about what happened to our sons or to my parents?"
"So, I take it that you told your version to MY daughter?"
I could hear that she was now pissed off, and I didn't miss that she referred Mina as HER daughter.
"No, Helen, she figured it out by herself. In fact, she probably suspected it before I knew anything. Yet, you didn't tell the truth to anyone. You just allowed them to blame me."
"But I admitted that I made a mistake! Can't you just forgive me?"
"Helen, like I said, I surely can forgive you. But it does not mean that we should, or could, get back together."
"You're being unreasonable, John. What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?"
"Helen, have you gotten yourself tested? If not, maybe you should. You know he had some other lovers, too. And no, you don't have to do anything for me. Please just accept that our marriage is over. There is no reason for you to hang on to me, as you are still quite young."
"You are a bastard, John. I want you back as you can play my body better than anybody else..."
Suddenly she understood that she had probably said too much.
"Goodbye, Helen. Please remember the good times we used to have, but try to move on."
"Bastard!"
For some silly reason I felt much better after calling her than I had felt before it. Still, it sucked to spend the Christmas alone. For once, I was happy that this year it was a short one.
It was late on Christmas Day when Liz came back to my apartment. It was lucky that she had the evening shift on the following day, as she kept us awake far into the wee hours. The following day she insisted that she would be with me to pick up Mina from the airport. I quickly checked the schedule, and it seemed ok.
I had to admit that I felt quite nervous while we were waiting for Mina at the airport. I guess there was no need, since as soon as she found me she launched herself against me, and hugged me like there was no tomorrow. Then she did the same to Liz. After that she turned to me.
"Oh, Daddy, I've missed you so much."
Before I could answer, she turned to Liz.
"And I'm so happy you have been here with my Dad. It would really suck that he would just suffer for something he didn't do."
I was sure that my eyes moistened when I heard her say that, and then my stomach lurched when I remembered that my daughter wasn't really my daughter. Sure as hell I was never going to reveal that to her, ever.
We had lunch together, and luckily Mina and Liz seemed to be able to bond almost immediately. Of course I knew that they had been talking on the phone a lot, but it is always different to see someone in person. I mainly just smiled as I listened those two girls talk. I guess I was still smiling when we dropped Liz at work.
I drove Mina to our apartment, so that she could unpack her stuff. She got to use the room and bed I had prepared for Liz, which had just been re-furnished, as 'someone' had trashed the bed that had never been used. They had tried to replace the good queen-sized bed with a much cheaper one, but I had refused to accept it. Sandra had been furious, as it turned out that this was a common practice, and the furniture company had been milking the city for ages. Being a minor hero, herself ... after cleaning out the rotten cops ... Sandra had no problems in getting things done her way, now.
As soon as Mina had settled, I made some coffee. Then it was my turn to listen about her school, and the dates she had been on (nothing serious), about her friends who were devastated because of the upcoming divorce, and the fact that I had moved so far away. According to Mina, some of her more slutty friends would have been quite happy to check on what a more experienced man could do. She giggled when I blushed.
"Relax, Dad, I know that you aren't an uptight person. Besides, Liz has hinted to me that you did some wild things in your youth. Why don't you tell me about those?"
"It seems that you have missed some spankings, young miss."
"Ooh, kinky. I can't wait to tell my friends that my Daddy wants to spank me."
Suddenly she turned serious.
"I'm sorry, Dad. I should not be teasing you like that; but I have been so alone and miserable at home with mom, that I just become all silly when..."
Then I pulled her close and hugged her, as she started crying against my chest. There was pain in my chest when I thought of what she must have been through, and it was partly my fault. After all, if I just had been able to swallow my stupid manly pride, we could still be a family.
"I'm so sorry, Honey Bun. Sometimes I think that maybe I just should swallowed my pride, and gotten past it..."
"NO!"
Suddenly, Mina was so angry that I could feel it in her body.
"No, Daddy! Never! What she did and what she has been saying and doing, shows that she does not respect you at all. It does not bother her to trash you or to tell lies about you. It hurts me, since I still love her because she is my mother; but I hate the way she acts. Listen, Daddy, I know you, and staying at home would have ruined you."
Then she hugged me again, and we stayed like that for a moment. After that we talked some more, and she told me about her brothers and grandparents who all blamed me about everything. She had occasionally Skyped with my sister, and only that and the calls with me had kept her sane.
"Dad, why don't you have a Skype account?"
"Honey Bun, it hurts enough, already. If I could see you, it would probably just hurt even more."
"Bullshit, Dad. Just admit it, you're a dinosaur."
So, she installed Skype for me, and after that we went shopping - to the department store in which Liz was working, of course. Mina was happy with my renewed wardrobe, even if she didn't know the actual reason.
Mina ended up spending some of her money, and quite a bit more of my money, and then we waited a few more minutes for Liz. We picked up some Chinese food on our way back home, and later in the evening I could see my daughter smirking when Liz guided me to our bedroom.
The following days were busy, but happy. Liz was like a big sister to Mina, and I guess that Liz told Mina just about everything that had happened to her, and the mistakes she had made. They spent a few hours talking, and Mina's eyes were puffy when she came out from her room. Then she hugged me in a way that made me worry a bit about my ribs that had just healed.
Liz and I also had to tell her about my little episode with the local force, but she had to swear to secrecy over that. For some reason, she found it extremely funny that the young female doctor would have liked to have explored my rectum - just in case. As Liz's mother had hinted to her about my shady past, they teased and tortured me until I finally had to tell them about my history as a male stripper. When I looked at grinning Mina, I started to wonder if I had raised a pervert.
If was the morning of New Years Eve day when I drove Mina back to the airport and saw her off. Liz had a shorter day at work, but we decided to stay at home as we watched the ball drop, snuggling on my sofa.
Liz worked for another week, and after that we had a few days off before she made sure that she caught up with her studies from the Fall semester. Her school semester really started in the beginning of February.
During those days in January we were able to find out that we were sexually very compatible, and our values matched nicely, but I noticed that most probably there would not ever be any mind-breaking love between us. I liked her a lot. I even loved her, but not in a way I had been in love with Helen. We didn't talk about it, but I assumed that her feelings were quite mutual, since she had made no attempt to explain my presence to her father.
On the other hand, we didn't have too much time to worry about that. Liz was busy with her studies, and I started preparing to work again.
Once again I honed my interest in the markets, and in the companies that I expected to become prosperous. I also made some preparations as to how I would collect the money to start my business.
Then I started a blog. Even if my daughter ... and I still thought of Mina as MY daughter ... had called me a dinosaur, the truth was that I was quite capable with computers and networks. I made sure that the blog I created was hosted outside U.S., and that all of the things I wrote there existed only on the remote computer. I used a secure connection with no local cache while I accessed that computer.
The running theme on the blog was: 'the morality of investors.' I used some real-life examples that pointed out how the cherished 'quarter economy', actually destroyed businesses; and how 'short-term profits' actually turned into 'long-term losses.' That created some discussions, and I was pressed into bringing out more information. In my comments, I promised to do that within a month. A seed had been planted.
At the beginning of February, Liz told me that she wanted to take me to the Valentine's Day party in one of the frat houses that was organized by the students. I did my best not to consent, but she was adamant. At my age, I knew better than to stop a woman with a mission, especially when I didn't really want to. I had to admit that I felt at least a bit intrigued that she actually wanted to show me off to her fellow students. When I asked her about it, she blushed a bit.
"John, I hope that you aren't mad, but you know that girls talk. I had a few friends who were worried about me. When I suddenly became very happy they just pressed me long enough that they could find out some facts. On some Mondays they were sure that I was walking funny with a smile on my face."
I groaned, and she giggled. Later that evening she asked if I would punish her for behaving so badly. That led us to some play we had not done before but the end result was that she claimed that she would once again be walking funny, and I had to check a couple of times that I had not dropped anything that used to be hanging, down there. It certainly was a good thing that I had continued my exercise, as I really needed to stay in shape if we continued living together.
It was late morning when I got a call from Juliet, and she told me that my final divorce decree papers had been delivered to her office. She promised to send the originals to me as soon as possible, and she would have a copy in her office. I thanked her and sat down.
I was single again. No fanfares, no overwhelming joy, merely emptiness. Liz sensed my feelings, and hugged me for a while. That helped a bit.
I let Liz dress me for the party, and she made sure that I probably looked at least a few years younger than my forty-two years. When we got to the party, I noticed that I should not have worried; it seemed that there were some older men there with their young fiancées or girlfriends, and I was probably in better shape than most of them.
The party itself was quite fun - up until the moment I met a brick wall while going outside for fresh air for a moment, while Liz was giggling with some of her female friends. Well, actually, it wasn't a brick wall. It was a guy that looked like one and almost felt like one. He looked like a football player, even if he wasn't quite as tall and big as most of them. He looked at me and I could see that he was slightly drunk, but not really intoxicated.
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