Agony Aunty 8211 Innocence to Excellence 8211 Final Part
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Jeff called me later during the week and told me he had some bad news. He said when he had gotten back to the base, after Christmas, he had new orders. He was being transferred to Nellis Air Force base just outside of Las Vegas, Nevada. He said he would be leaving the second week of January and would be gone for approximately five months.
He would be seeing me before he left but wanted me to know, now. I was really feeling down, but trying to make the best of it. I worked on New Years Eve and at midnight my cell phone rang. It was Jeff wishing me a Happy New Year.
It was then I told him that I was thinking about him being in Las Vegas. I mentioned to him that I could probably get a couple of days off and go to Las Vegas and visit him a couple of times. I really wanted to be with him. He didn't say much about it and said he would see me in a few days.
He stopped by the following week and we talked. For some reason he seemed sad. I figured it was because he would be going away for five months. I wore the necklace and ring he had given me for Christmas. I wanted him to know I cared for him.
We went out to a Karaoke bar and listened to the different singers. He seemed sort of out of it and asked me to go up and sing a song for him. I remember him saying that when we were in choir that he loved to listen to me sing.
The song that entered my mind was 'Loving You' by Elvis. I went up on the stage and stared down at Jeff in the front row as I sang for him.
I will spend my whole life through
Loving you, just loving you
Winter, Summer, Springtime too
Loving you, loving you
Makes no difference where I go or what I may do
You know that I'll always be loving you, just you
I was putting my real feelings into this song. I looked over at Jeff who had a sweet smile on his face but still seemed sad; I finished the song.
And, if I'm seen with someone new
Don't be blue, don't you be blue
I'll be faithful, I'll be true
Always true, true to you
There is only one for me, and you know who
You know that I'll always be loving you
Jeff stood up when I finished and clapped for me. Other patrons began to stand and clap also. I sat down with Jeff and we talked some more. Patrons at the lounge stopped by the table and complimented my singing, some even said I should sing professionally. I thanked them but hoped they would let Jeff and I talk. It was then Jeff said he had something to tell me.
The look on his face didn't look good. "What is it Jeff?" I asked.
"I told you I would never lie to you, but I did," replied Jeff.
"I don't understand, when and why would you lie to me?" I was really confused and very nervous.
"I'm not going to Las Vegas. I will be gone for five months but I will be going back to the Middle East. They haven't told me where yet, but I'm sure it won't be the best area. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. When you mentioned that you would come and visit me I knew then, I had to tell you the truth."
I was totally shocked. We finally had something going and life was pretty good and now he said he was leaving to go overseas again. I started crying right there at the table. I was attracting attention and did my best to stop. We left the lounge and he drove me home.
It was cold out so we sat in the car and talked. He told me again how much he cared for me and hoped that I would wait for him to return. He said he had talked with the Detroit police department and was already accepted when he returned from overseas; he was going to go through their training program to become a police officer.
I asked him if he wanted to make love with me before he left. He said he wanted to more than anything, but wasn't going to. "I don't want to make love to you one time and then not see you for months. When I return and we are together again, I will make love to you day and night, if you wait for me."
He did kiss me very passionately on the front porch and I cried as he left. When I went inside Mom saw me crying and I told her the story about Jeff going again to the Middle East. As always, she was there for me. She hugged me and told me if it is meant to be, it will happen.
Life went on. I did everything I could, to keep busy. I continued taking courses to advance my nursing career. I was being the best nurse I could be and when not working, I spent my time with my little girl. She was developing her personality, crawling and was just a happy little baby. I often thought about how Jeff held her and changed her diaper, what a good father he would be.
I was asked out by several of the male nurses and interns. I ate lunch with them at the hospital and told them that I liked them as friends but I had someone special in my life that I was waiting for.
About once every couple of weeks a group of us went to the Karaoke lounge near the hospital. It got around that I could sing but a couple of my friends could sing also. Sometimes I sang a solo and other times with my friends.
I have to admit that it was nice getting attention from men but I didn't flirt with them; I would always tell them that I was spoken for. A couple of them who knew about Jeff being in the service would say things like, "Do you think he's being celibate thousands of miles away." Or, "I don't see an engagement ring on your finger. Surely he didn't think a good looking woman like you would just sit back and wait?"
I was hit on quite often. When asked to dance, I usually refused. I was tired of being groped and tired of fighting men off. Even married guys would try and see how far they could get. 'Not available' just wasn't enough for some guys. Luckily, I did have some male friends that stuck up for me.
Most of my girlfriends were married, but they seemed to get hit on also, but handled it quite well. Not every woman that has a night out with her friends is out to cheat. We just wanted to go out for some Karaoke and have a few laughs. One thing I often thought about was, most of my friends had someone waiting for them when they got home.
One evening a man approached me in the parking lot as I was leaving the club. No matter what I said to him, he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I told him over and over I wasn't interested in him but that didn't help. I was scared but used a little trick that Jeff had taught me. I let the man get close and as soon as his face was close to mine I kneed him in the balls as hard as I could. When he backed up and bent over, I did like Jeff told me and used my elbow instead of my fist and caught him square on the side of the face.
As he was starting to recover I reached in my purse and sprayed him in the eyes with pepper spray. I was scared shitless and hurried and got in my car and drove home. My adrenalin was really pumping. I told my mother what had happened and she called the police department and said the man most likely would be at an emergency room. Since I wasn't harmed in anyway and couldn't prove he started it, he got away with a warning.
The police told me it was my word against his and he was the only one with injuries. The man said that he was just talking to me and I attacked him and sprayed mace in his eyes. They did say that they gave him a stern warning.
It was almost two months before I got a letter from Jeff. He said he was well but missed me and Alecia. He carried a photo of the two of us that he had taken over Christmas. He also said he was being totally celibate and hoped I was too. He wrote about our future together and how much he loved me and hoped all was well with me.
I wrote him back and let him know how much I missed him and that Alecia was changing by the day and every day was a new experience with her. I mentioned that I wished he could be here to see her grow up. I told him that when ever I showed a picture of him to Alecia, she seemed to smile. I sent him new photos of both of us. I did tell him that I was celibate and waiting for him and only him. I loved Jeff and was going to be faithful to him. I will admit that at times, I was lonely.
I had to wonder if the man who attacked me was right. Did I unintentionally flirt with men? I was just trying to be nice. I have always had a bubbly personality but maybe I was asking for trouble. I talked to my girlfriends and they told me my personality was part of who I was. My girlfriend Jan told me if I wasn't so darn pretty that I might not have this problem even though some men will go after any woman who talked to them.
I guess I was always naïve until this past year when I grew up so fast. I liked to look at good looking men as much as the next woman. That didn't mean I wanted to sleep with them. Being nice to people was just part of my makeup.
A couple more months and hopefully Jeff would return and we could make plans to get on with our lives. A few male friends wished me luck while other said I should have a little fun while I was not formally attached to anyone.
Jeff speaks:
Trina and I grew up together. We were always best friends. In fact we were blood brothers. When she was about seven years old Trina fell on some rocks and cut her finger and started crying. I told her we could become blood brothers and it would help relieve the pain. I told her I remember seeing it on TV.
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