Good Medicine Senior YearChapter 56 Holy Week and Pascha Part I
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January 24, 1985, McKinley, Ohio
The phone rang on Thursday evening while we were studying and I went to my room to answer it.
“Hi, Mike; It’s Fran Mercer.”
“Hi, Doctor Mercer.”
“I had a session with Angie today and explained to her about why the state wouldn’t let her marry. It didn’t go well.”
“What happened?” I asked apprehensively.
“She became very angry and agitated. Her psychiatrist ordered a mild sedative, but she’s refusing to take it.”
“Lord have mercy,” I replied softly. “So now what?”
“She’s not doing anything destructive or threatening to harm anyone, so her mom took her home. She has a follow-up appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow, but I suspect she’s going to resist.”
“Do you think it would help if I asked her to go?”
“I think right now it’s best if you stay a bit aloof. She’s blaming me, her psychiatrist, and the State of Ohio. I’d much rather have her upset with us than with you or her mom.”
“Is she having a meltdown?” I asked.
“No; this is just pure anger and frustration. But it could very well lead to a schizophrenic episode.”
“Lovely. Did you call Father Stephen?”
“Yes, just after I saw Angie this morning. He was the second call after I spoke to Angie’s psychiatrist. Father Stephen is going to try to see her tomorrow, but if he can’t, or she won’t see him, he’ll try to talk to her at church, if she goes.”
“I have a strong suspicion she will go,” I replied. “But I suspect she’s going to start ‘splitting’ and she’ll try to force him to take sides, which is why you told me to stay aloof, isn’t it?”
“Did you read your entire Abnormal Psych text in one sitting? Or was it two?”
“I skimmed and read the important parts. Angie is going to divide the world into good and bad in a black and white manner. It’s a function of depression, in addition to ‘borderline personality disorder’. Is it possible she was misdiagnosed?”
“I take it you didn’t read the section on borderline personality disorder in depth?”
“Correct.”
“If your textbook is thorough, it will point out that patients with borderline personality disorder often exhibit signs of other disorders at some point in their lives. We haven’t seen any indication of Angie having borderline personality disorder. She is not impulsive...”
“Her drive to see me in McKinley?” I asked, interrupting.
“That was planned, not impulsive. She quit taking her medication so she could drive.”
“OK. Sorry to have interrupted.”
“It’s OK.
“She’s not impulsive, nor does she engage in self-harm, and her relationships were neither unstable nor chaotic. So, as of now, I’d say our diagnosis is correct. But that’s as of right now; that could change at any point.”
“Wonderful,” I sighed. “What do I do if she contacts me? Or comes to see me?”
“I’m hoping that doesn’t happen, at least in the near term, but if she does, simply encourage her to listen to her doctors, take her medication, and follow her treatment plan. And tell her that your medical training requires that you support her doctors’ diagnosis and treatment plan because you aren’t qualified to make that kind of diagnosis. It’s not technically true until you’re actually in medical school, but it’s true enough for our purposes.”
“I can compare it to not interfering with spiritual guidance which comes from a priest or bishop,” I replied. “It’s more or less of the same character, just spiritual health instead of physical or mental health. But what happens when she asks if I’m willing to marry her? It’s not like I can hide the fact that Elizaveta and I are getting married on May 26th.”
“If she does contact you, and she raises the issue, blame me. She’s already upset with me, and, please don’t take this the wrong way, but we need to preserve her affection for you for the future. She can get new counselors and new psychiatrists, she can’t get new family or close friends.”
“That sounds so cynical,” I replied. “Or maybe like a cheap parlor trick.”
“Remember what we just discussed about splitting - we need to keep you and Angie’s mom on the good side of the ledger; Father Stephen as well, if possible. One sure way to push her into a schizophrenic episode is if the thinks there are NO good people.”
“What about her friend Anna?”
“She has a job lined up in Chicago with Allstate and will be moving there in June. She’s also not really comfortable with Angie’s illness.”
“Which is a common reaction, according to my textbook.”
“It is, even for family. Mental illness is poorly understood, and many, many people are unable to deal with friends or family who suffer from mental illness. You seem to be able to, and that’s why I want to preserve some kind of good relationship between you and Angie, if possible.”
“Do you think she’ll call?”
“As I said, her mom will do her best to prevent that.”
“Which isn’t what I asked.”
“If she still thinks of you as an ally, then I think she’ll try, yes. And I do think she sees you as an ally.”
“How do you do this?” I asked.
“It’s not easy, but you’ll face the same kind of challenges in the ER. There will be days when you wonder why you chose to be a doctor. There will be many other days when you see a smile on the face of a loved one when you tell them you saved their husband or wife, their dad or mom, their brother or sister, or their son or daughter. That’s how you do it.”
“I think we’re going to be having quite a few conversations in the future.”
“I’ll be here. See you next month?”
“The 9th would be best; it’s before Great Lent starts.”
“That works. I’ll see you then.”
We said ‘goodbye’ and I hung up, then went back to the study group. When we finished, Clarissa followed me to my room.
“Does Elizaveta have anything planned for your birthday?” she asked.
“We’re going out to dinner after Vespers. Why?”
“The gang wants to have a party for you at Doctor Blahnik’s house on Friday.”
“OK, but no gifts, please.”
“I’ll tell them that’s your wish. May I get you something?”
“Yes, but please give it to me in private.”
“OK. Will you eat cake, even if it’s made with eggs?”
“Yes, of course. Were you planning dinner?”
“No. I figured we’d triple date with Jocelyn and Gene, and start the party at 8:00pm.”
“Sounds good. Chinese?”
“That is the best when you’re fasting. Lent starts soon, right?”
I nodded, “Officially on the 25th, but ‘Meatfare’ is on the 17th. The Paschal cycle actually starts on the 3rd, with the Sunday of the Publican and Pharisee, and fasting that week is canonically forbidden.”
“I’m starting to remember from last year. Maybe I should get one of those calendars.”
“There are plenty on the table in the narthex. I’ll bring you one.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ll come to church with you on Sunday, if that’s OK.”
“Always.”
“Then I’ll leave you to your prayers.”
“Thanks.”
She left and I said my prayers, performed my usual bedtime routine, then climbed into bed.
February 1, 1985, McKinley, Ohio
“This is WAY too much!” I protested.
“You’re supposed to say ‘thank you’,’ Mike!” Clarissa replied. “This is from Jocelyn, Abby, and me. And it makes sense.”
“It does; but the cost!”
“Is none of your business! And, yes, I checked to make sure your stereo had a free set of RCA inputs.”
The three women had bought me a Compact Disc player and three discs - 52nd Street by Billie Joel, Purple Rain by Prince, and Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen. I had all three of those on vinyl, but I knew that releases on the new discs were still somewhat limited, so it made sense. It would also give me a chance to compare the sound, which people said was awesome, but which I’d never heard.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Look at it this way, Mike,” Jocelyn said. “You can buy music either on LP or disc now. Rumor has it that discs will take over the world.”
I chuckled, “We’ll see. The cassette didn’t kill albums, though I hear discs are supposed to have much higher fidelity.”
“And your tape deck won’t eat them!”
During our Senior year, the cassette player in my Mustang had eaten one of Jocelyn’s homemade tapes. Fortunately, it was just a defect in the tape and not a problem with the cassette player, and Nate had been able to remove it for us without damaging the player.
“I need to go get Elizaveta,” I announced. “See you at the Chinese restaurant?”
“Yes.”
Just over thirty minutes later, Elizaveta and I walked into the Chinese restaurant where Clarissa, Abby, Jocelyn, and Gene were waiting, and joined them at the table. We had a nice dinner, with the other two couples treating, and then headed to Doctor Blahnik’s for the party. When we arrived, I was happy to see that my wishes for no gifts had been honored, and that the entire gang, along with Joel and Milena, and of course, Doctor Blahnik and Derek, were at the house.
Doctor Blahnik had what I would have called European sensibilities about drinking, so there was wine and beer available despite many of the guests being under twenty-one, but most of our gang didn’t drink much, if at all. With most of us planning post-graduate work, we were far too focused on grades to even think about getting drunk. I was mostly sticking to my ‘only on special occasions’ rule, though I did accept wine when Doctor Blahnik offered it - just not in the way she most wanted! I quickly pushed THAT thought out of my mind before it got me into trouble.
That worked, at least until Doctor Blahnik asked me to dance with her. It was something I wouldn’t be able to do after ordination, but now, with Elizaveta’s blessing, I could. Doctor Blahnik was careful not to dance TOO close, but in some ways, that made it worse, as her breasts occasionally rubbed gently across my chest. I struggled mightily to prevent a reaction, and managed, just, not to make it very obvious how enticing she was. When the song ended, I sought safety, of a sort, by asking Lara to dance with me.
“Did you?” she asked in Russian, and with a smirk.
“It would be against University rules and could get her fired,” I replied, but in English...
“Not an answer!” she laughed, switching to English.
“You know me better than that,” I said.
“That you won’t say if you did or that you didn’t do it?”
“Troublemaker!”
“Always! Elizaveta won’t get upset if I give you a birthday kiss on the cheek, will she?”
“She’s Russian enough to understand,” I replied. “And you’re Russian, so she won’t read anything into it.”
When the song finished, Lara did give me a kiss on each cheek, and I went back to where Elizaveta was waiting. I put my arm around her waist and she slipped hers around mine, then leaned her head against my shoulder. We stood together for a bit until Milena and Joel carried a large sheet cake into the room, adorned with twenty-two candles, and everyone sang Happy Birthday.
“«С днем рождения!»” Lara and Elizaveta proclaimed in unison when they finished.
“Thank you all!” I replied, then blew out the candles with one long breath.
“Many years, husband!” Elizaveta said softly, then kissed my cheek.
“Mom and I have a special song we’d like to sing for you,” Milena announced. “Have you heard of the cartoon «Чебурашка»?”
“No,” I replied.
“It’s from the early 70s, and this is Gena the Crocodile’s Song. The premise is that it’s his birthday, and he’s alone, so he sings himself this song.”
Milena and her mom sang the song in nearly perfect Russian, and when they finished, everyone applauded.
[ See the following link for the music and a possible translation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-0xugvRnUg
and the following for an alternate translation (which I feel is better): https://www.gugalyrics.com/lyrics-381674/russian-birthday-song.html ]
“Translation?” Jocelyn asked. “I don’t speak ‘Sputnik’!”
Everyone laughed and Doctor Blahnik gave a rough translation of the song, and then Joel cut the cake. Derek brought a few bottles of champagne into the room, and once everyone had a glass and a piece of cake, Clarissa gave a toast.
“To my best friend in the world, happy birthday and many years!”
“Happy birthday, Mike!” everyone proclaimed with raised glasses.
When we’d eaten our cake and drunk our champagne, the music was turned up and there was dancing and socializing until it was time for me to take Elizaveta home.
“Where are we going tomorrow night?” she asked as I pulled into the driveway at her house.
“A Japanese restaurant near Columbus,” I said. “It’s one of my favorite places, but it’s a bit expensive, so I don’t go too often.”
“And our dates?”
“I budgeted for entertainment when I worked out my plan for college and medical school. Your dad isn’t going to charge us rent, so our finances will be fine. I’ve also applied for several scholarships and grants, and if my success with them for my undergraduate degree is any indication, I should get some. And my parents will contribute towards my tuition for four more years.”
“Are they helping your sister?”
“She and Paul chose not to take the money my mom offered, and I see their point. On the plus side, my dad is at least continuing to be semi-cordial to Paul, even if they’ll likely never really be friends. But it’s still touch-and-go.”
“I’m glad you and my dad get along.”
“Me, too!”
We got out of the car, I walked her to the door, we exchanged a soft kiss, and after she went inside, I got into my car and drove back to campus.
February 2, 1985, McKinley, Ohio
“Hi, Mike!” Tracy said as I came into the dorm lobby after my morning run in the gym.
“Hi, Tracy.”
“I hear it’s your birthday.”
“It is.”
“Wanna celebrate?” she asked with sultry look.
I shook my head and held up my hand, “I promised not to.”
“I won’t tell if you don’t!”
“It doesn’t work that way,” I replied. “If you’ll excuse me, I need a shower.”
“Need some help?”
“Not since I was little,” I said, and then walked towards the elevators.
I took the elevator upstairs, showered, trimmed my beard, dressed, then met the gang for breakfast. After breakfast, the usual ‘inner circle’ gathered in my room - Clarissa, Lara, Jocelyn, Robbie, Lee, Sophia, Sandy, Pete, Kimiko, Brandon, José, Dona, and, because he and Jocelyn had hit it off, Gene.
“Doing anything special to celebrate your birthday?” Sandy asked.
“Well, when I came back from my run, Tracy Vaughn made a futile attempt to cover another spot on her Rickenbacker 8 Bingo card.”
“That’s a heck of a challenge considering a couple of gay guys live on this floor!” Jocelyn declared.
“You do realize that the equipment will usually work with proper stimulation even without sexual attraction, right?” Lee asked.
“You know, I never thought about it,” Jocelyn replied. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologize; you’re straight, so why would you even think about it?”
“I have to ask, Mike,” Pete said, “what is it about you that has women throwing themselves at you?”
“Tracy throws herself at EVERY guy!” Sandy laughed. “You had to tell her ‘no’!”
“Or so you assume!” he teased.
“I know you better than that!”
“How did I miss this?” Gene asked.
“I don’t think she’s worked her way down to Freshmen just yet!” Dona said, laughing. “Did you know she lives only a few miles from me back home, but we never knew each other? I knew her older sister, though. She’s studying to be a nurse in Cincinnati. Supposedly, Tracy graduated a year early.”
The phone rang and I got up to answer it.
“Subdeacon? It’s Father Stephen.”
“Father, bless!”
“The Lord bless you, Subdeacon. I’m calling about Angie.”
“Did something happen?” I asked apprehensively.
“She’s at Clermont County Hospital because she had a breakdown late last night. I’m at the hospital, and Doctor Mercer asked me to call you while she’s with Angie. They sedated Angie last night, and they’ll need to restart the drugs this morning. I wrote down what Doctor Mercer said; first, they’re going to try Haldol, and if that doesn’t work, then they’ll try one of the atypical antipsychotics. She said she’ll call you when she has a chance.”
“Thanks, Father.”
“Pray for Angie, Mike.”
“I will. Thanks for calling me.”
“You’re welcome.”
We said ‘goodbye’ and hung up.
“Angie?” Clarissa asked.
“That was her pastor. She had a breakdown last night and she’s in the hospital.”
“Oh, Mike, I’m sorry.”
There were murmurs of agreement from all the others.
“I pretty much expected something like this,” I sighed, sitting back down between Jocelyn and Clarissa.
“Are you OK, Mik?” Jocelyn asked.
“Yeah, I suppose. But however I feel, it’s not nearly as bad as it is for Angie. I’m afraid she’ll lose her job and have to drop out of school. And if that happens, they’ll likely have to up the dose of her anti-depressants, which is what will turn her into a zombie, in addition to the side effects of the antipsychotics, which can be pretty bad.”
“There’s no cure?” Gene asked.
I shook my head, “Not that anyone knows of. At best, it can be managed. And that’s in maybe twenty percent of cases.”
“What can we do for you, Mike?” Kimiko asked.
I shook my head again, “Nothing, really. Well, be my friends, which you’re already doing.”
“Sorry, but what am I missing?” Gene asked.
“You came late to the party,” Clarissa said. “Mike and Angie were a very serious couple. And before Mike objects, I know Angie always had problems, but she was doing her best to actually BE ‘Mrs. Loucks’, which is the name the dorm had for her. She converted to Orthodoxy so she could be even closer to Mike. She had a couple of breakdowns and he stuck by her, but ultimately it had to end because of her condition.”
“Oh, wow! I didn’t realize.”
December 30, 1984, McKinley, Ohio On Sunday, after church, Clarissa, Elizaveta and I went to Tasha’s apartment to spend the afternoon with her and Nik. Tasha and Elizaveta prepared dinner together, and had a quiet conversation in Russian, while Nik, Clarissa, and I talked. From their body language, I got the impression that «бабушка» Natalya was giving Matushka Elizaveta advice. My first thought was that I should be very afraid, but that thought was fleeting, and I realized that if there was...
March 28, 1985, McKinley, Ohio On Thursday, after my lesson with Doctor Blahnik, I met with Mark and Alyssa for our final catechism class. We finished reviewing the Nicene Creed, and then went over the baptismal rite to ensure they knew exactly what would happen on Holy Saturday morning. “Seriously?” Mark asked. “A horse trough?” “It’s painted gold with three-bar crosses on each side,” I offered. “The only other options are a river or a lake. We could probably arrange that, if you felt it...
August 21, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “When’s your last day?” Grace asked on Tuesday morning. “Tomorrow. I need to participate in checking in Freshmen starting Thursday. Are you working Thursday and Friday?” “Thursday, because it’s check-in. Friday I’ll be at orientation. Do you think we could keep our chess dates?” “Evenings are out because of studying, but Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are completely free, except for my guitar lesson on Thursday right after lunch.” “What about Tuesday...
June 5, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “Do you want me to sleep at Doctor Blahnik’s house tonight?” Clarissa asked when she arrived at the dorm early on Tuesday evening so we could go to dinner. “No,” I replied. “Ice cream with Grace isn’t a date. And besides, you know the score.” “So this doesn’t end with her licking your cone?” she teased. I laughed, “No. I won’t be more than an hour or so.” “I’ll hang out with Jocelyn and Dona. I don’t want Kelly to complain I was in your room without you...
June 9, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “I’ve figured out what’s wrong with this game,” Dona said after we’d played the first nine holes. “What’s that?” “Using as few strokes as possible to get it in the hole!” I guffawed. “I mean, seriously, who wants FEWER strokes than average?” she continued. I laughed harder. “And who thinks that the best possible way to score is one stroke, then you take it out and move on to the next hole, never to put it in the first one again? GUYS! That’s who!” I...
June 2, 1984, McKinley, Ohio On Saturday morning, Clarissa left for her volunteer job at the local free clinic and I headed to the dorm to move my things from eight to two. It took about an hour to move everything and get it set up again. I’d just finished when I heard a very familiar voice call my name. “Hi, Jos!” I replied happily, holding out my arms. We hugged and exchanged a gentle kiss and then I pushed her cart down the hallway to her room. “You could have come up to get me to help...
April 28, 1985, McKinley, Ohio On Sunday, after the Divine Liturgy, Father Nicholas asked me to come to his office. “I spoke with Vladyka last evening. He gave his blessing for you to play in your band with a couple of conditions, which I don’t think will be a problem. The venues are important - no bars or clubs. He’d prefer you play things like High School dances, or venues where no alcohol is served. The key is decorum.” “Thank you. I’ll make sure I discuss any concerts with you in...
June 17, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “I’m going to break things off with Maggie tomorrow,” I said after Clarissa, Jocelyn, and I arrived at Tasha’s apartment for our usual Sunday dinner. “What?!” Jocelyn exclaimed. “I thought you were going to take the Summer.” “I’ve thought a lot about it, talked with Tasha, talked with Clarissa, and had a short talk with Doctor Blahnik. Basically, I let my promise to Maggie cause me to ignore the reality of the situation.” “Lara?” Jocelyn asked. “It’s...
January 2, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “Well?” Clarissa asked after I returned to the great room. “Wait and see. Angie’s next appointment is a week from tomorrow. I’m hoping Doctor Mercer waits until then to talk to Angie, but I’m afraid she’ll call Angie’s mom and THAT will cause Angie all sorts of heartache and might even set off her condition.” “Wouldn’t Doctor Mercer know that?” “Yes, but the problem is that Angie did something Doctor Mercer thinks is inherently dangerous. She’s almost...
October 20, 1984, McKinley, Ohio After Vespers on Saturday night, I headed back to campus and found a note saying the gang had gone to see Thief of Hearts and would be back around 10:00pm. I was dying to know if Clarissa and Sandy had received their letters from McKinley, but it looked as if I’d have to wait a few hours to find out. Given that my close friends were out, I really didn’t have much to do, so I picked up my guitar and played, though I didn’t sing. I started messing around with...
July 29, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “Your mom hasn’t called you yet?” Tasha asked when our small group gathered at her apartment on Sunday afternoon. “No,” I replied. “But I figured it would take a couple of weeks of not hearing from me or Liz before she decides she needs to talk to me.” “You’re doing OK?” “Yes. It’s not all that different from you and Sasha, except that your dad figured it out quickly.” “If by that you mean you shamed him into behaving as a Christian should, then yes.” “How...
May 13, 1985, McKinley, Ohio The phone rang very early on Monday morning, startling me awake. A quick glance at the clock told me that it had to be Angie calling, and I dreaded answering the phone. Reluctantly, I got out of bed and moved across the room to answer it. “Mike,” I said after I picked up the handset. “Mike? It’s Mom.” “Mom?” I gasped in surprise. “What’s wrong?” “Grandpa Loucks had a heart attack,” she said. “Dad is on his way to Chicago.” “How bad?” I asked. “His prognosis...
June 16, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “So that’s it?” Clarissa asked when I hung up the phone on Saturday morning. “Yes. After I talked to the investigators on Thursday morning, they closed the investigation and late yesterday the base commander told Maggie’s dad he wasn’t going to take any action. According to what Karl said, the base commander gave Maggie’s dad an unofficial reprimand about what he said to me, but that won’t have any negative effect on his career.” “And Maggie is going to see...
July 14, 1984, Milford, Ohio “Good morning, Mike! Good morning, Clarissa!” Doctor Mercer said when we walked into her office early on Saturday morning. “Hi, Doctor Mercer!” we both replied. “Clarissa, did you want to talk this morning?” Doctor Mercer asked. She shook her head, “No, I’m fine. Mike can tell you everything.” “OK. Mike, come on in. Clarissa, there’s a deli that serves great coffee on Route 50, just past the Frisch’s and before the Wendy’s, if you want.” “You know what, I...
September 3, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “I understand,” Lara soothed. “I really do. You can’t risk your ordination nor your relationship with Elizaveta. Father Nicholas would know, and neither of us could answer the questions he would have to ask in a way that would satisfy him.” “I’m sorry.” Lara smiled, “Probably not quite as sorry as I am! I should have played the cards somewhat differently; that said, everything we did made perfect sense at the time. May I give you your first wedding...
September 3, 1984, McKinley, Ohio When Lara and I returned to campus just before lunchtime, two McKinley police officers were in the lobby, blocking access to the elevators. “What’s going on?” I asked Nicky, a Senior, who was manning the desk. “An OD on 5,” she said. “Bad?” “The paramedics went up about ten minutes ago. The cops will let you up, but you can’t go to 5.” “Thanks. Any idea who it was or what they took?” “No.” Lara and I headed to the mailboxes where I retrieved letters...
February 20, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “Are there any guidelines?” I asked Chancellor Evans. “You have quite a bit of leeway, but your speech does need to be approved. If you could have it to me by the first week in May, that’ll give you plenty of time to write it and still leave time for review and any changes that might be appropriate.” “How long should it be?” “According to tradition?” he asked with a slight smile. “Or according to the students?” “Tradition, I suppose,” I replied with a...
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February 9, 1985, Milford, Ohio “Do you mind sitting in the waiting room for five minutes while I talk to Doctor Mercer about Angie?” “That’s fine,” Elizaveta replied as we walked through the door of the building where Doctor Mercer had her office. We went upstairs and into the waiting room and Doctor Mercer greeted us. Elizaveta sat on the couch and Doctor Mercer and I went into her office. “Elizaveta will join us after we talk about Angie,” I said. “You don’t need any private...
August 31, 1984, Duquesne, Pennsylvania “Anything I need to know?” I said as we neared Lara’s house. “Not really. I told you about both sets of parents.” “Names? I mean other than I know your biological dad is Sergei Viktorovich Federov.” “My step-mom is Alisa, my step-dad is Albert, and my biological mom is Elena. My step-siblings are Karolina and Pavel. Oh, and my cat is named Lilia Felicksovna Koshkaa,” she added with a laugh. “Cute! I take it that your step-dad’s house is typically...
September 29, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “Yes!” Elizaveta squealed. Everyone clapped and the grandmothers put the choker and bracelet on Elizaveta, who was impatiently waiting to come to me. Just before she did, Gennady hurried over, winked, and we exchanged a Russian greeting, causing everyone but Elizaveta, who simply rolled her eyes, to laugh. Once Gennady moved away, Elizaveta quickly came to me and we hugged tightly, then Elizaveta turned to her maternal grandmother. “Grandmother, may I...
October 13, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “I’d like you each to fill out this worksheet,” Father Nicholas said. “Please do not collaborate on the answers. It’s important for me to understand our starting point. Please don’t overthink this, or write down what you think I want to hear or what you think the other person wants to hear.” I scanned the worksheet before I began, something I did for every exam, quiz, or worksheet, then began with the first questions which mostly had to do with how well I...
November 17, 1984, West Monroe, Ohio “What did you say to get your dad to come upstairs?” Elizaveta asked as we climbed into my Mustang for the drive back to McKinley. “I just insisted he keep his word to you.” “To me? I’ve never spoken to him until today!” “The promise he made, three years ago, to love any girl I married and treat her like a daughter, was made to you. Well, assuming I’m not in enough trouble with you that you’re going to call off the wedding.” “You said you wanted to be...
January 17, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “My parents were kicked out of the church because they wouldn’t make me stop coming to Saint Michael the Archangel,” Mark said when I greeted him and Alyssa on Thursday afternoon. “Are they going to the Lutheran Church?” “Starting on Sunday, yes.” “What about yours, Alyssa?” “They’re supposed to have a meeting with the elders on Saturday morning. I invited them to Saint Michael, and Mark’s parents suggested they go to the Lutheran church.” “But it’s not...
February 16, 1985, Greater Cincinnati, Ohio “Good morning, Subdeacon,” Father Stephen said when Elizaveta and I walked into the main lobby of The Christ Hospital in Cincinnati. The hospital was on Mt. Auburn, one of the highest points in the city, and offered a nice view of the city below. Father Stephen was clad in his ryasa. “Father, bless!” I said, holding my cupped hands for his blessing. “Bless you, Subdeacon,” he said, making the sign of the cross over my upturned palms. I kissed...
May 26, 1985, McKinley, Ohio On Sunday morning, I decided to walk my usual route through Doctor Blahnik’s neighborhood, rather than run. I had nervous energy I needed to burn off, but I didn’t want to burn off ALL my energy. I put on my shorts, t-shirt, and running shoes, and went out the front door. I was surprised to find Clarissa sitting on the steps waiting for me. She hopped up and we exchanged a hug. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Waiting for you! Ready?” “For?” She laughed,...
September 20, 1984, Milford, Ohio “Thanks for coming here, Mike,” Doctor Mercer said when I walked into her office. “I felt I had to. Clarissa and Sandy are at Frisch’s, and I’ll join them when we’re done. They know it could be a while.” “Have a seat,” she invited. Instead of sitting down, I went to the couch, took off my shoes, lay down, and stretched out. Doctor Mercer got up and moved to the chair which was positioned just behind my head. “This is different,” she said. “I know,” I...
December 24, 1984, McKinley, Ohio On Monday, which was Christmas Eve, I slept in, ate a light breakfast, then made some tea and went to sit in the music room to start reading Foundation. I read for about fifteen minutes before Doctor Blahnik came into the room. “What time are you leaving?” she asked “About 11:00am.” “And you’ll be back tonight?” “Around 9:30pm, most likely. We’ll go to Vespers, then have a light meal.” “Will you join Milena, Joel, Derek, and me to decorate the tree? I...
Theophany, January 6, 1985, McKinley, Ohio After I dropped Elizaveta at home, I took a chance and drove to Father Nicholas’ house. Matushka Natalya greeted me at the door and let me in. Father Nicholas invited me to his study. “Sorry to bother you at home, but the bishop suggested I speak to you.” “Am I going to be happy at the end of this conversation?” “Angie drove from Cincinnati on New Year’s Day to talk to me.” “I thought she wasn’t supposed to drive!” “She’s not. She did it...
March 15, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “What did I hear you playing?” Clarissa asked when I came downstairs on Friday afternoon. “Just practicing,” I replied. “Yes, but that was no guitar!” she protested. I frowned, “I really should have skipped practicing this week. It’s a surprise for my wedding.” “Wait! That’s one of those Russian guitars like the girl had in Doctor Zhivago!” “A balalaika,” I confirmed. “It was Doctor Blahnik’s suggestion.” “What songs can you play?” “The only one I play...
April 19, 1985, McKinley, Ohio Elizaveta drove my car to Pizza Inn, where her friends had reserved the small banquet room for the party. She’d be taking her driving test Thursday, and wanted a bit more practice. I was sure she’d pass, but with BMV employees, one never knew what might happen. When we arrived, Elizaveta backed into the parking spot just as I’d taught her, and after locking up the car, we went inside to where ten of her friends and their boyfriends or girlfriends were waiting,...
September 29, 1984, McKinley, Ohio At the close of Vespers, Father Nicholas, I, and two acolytes left the altar. He completed the prayers which served as the Dismissal, then turned to the congregation. “One announcement,” he said. “Tomorrow, immediately following the Divine Liturgy, we’ll have a betrothal ceremony for Subdeacon Michael and Elizaveta Kozlova.” There were a few gasps, but otherwise, no real reaction because we were in the nave, where applause or chatter was completely...
December 31, 1984, McKinley, Ohio Elizaveta greeted me at the door with a soft kiss, then took me to her father’s study. She left me with him and Gennady, then went to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on the meal. I accepted a splash of brandy from Viktor and we toasted. “When do you head back to Harvard?” I asked Gennady. “Wednesday afternoon,” he replied. “You know, I never asked if you had a girlfriend.” “I do. A girl who lives in Boston, but who’ll move here if I ask her to...
Sunday Of The Prodigal Son - February 10, 1985, McKinley, Ohio On Sunday morning, when I left the altar during the canon of Matins to retrieve Father Nicholas’ homily which he’d left in his office, I was pleased to see Mr. and Mrs. Greenwald standing near Mark and Alyssa. When I returned to the altar with Father Nicholas’ notecards, I quietly let him know that they were in attendance. As the Matins moved to the Divine Liturgy, the hymns foretold the destination of our Lenten journey, which...
May 25, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “In Psalm 8, we read - When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers; The moon and the stars, which You have ordained; What is man that You are mindful of him; And the son of man that You visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels; And You have crowned him with glory and honor; You have made him to have dominion over the works of Your hands; You have put all things under his feet. “‘Crowned him with glory and honor’ - that is us,...
December 27, 1984, Rutherford and McKinley, Ohio “Marie, this is my friend Dale Melrose. Dale, this is my friend Marie De Santis.” I could tell by the look on Dale’s face he was VERY attracted to Marie, and knowing Marie, she’d be more than happy to entertain him, if that’s what he wanted. “Dale,” Jocelyn said, “this is my boyfriend, Bill Ebersole. Bill, Dale.” They shook hands and I suppressed a chuckle at the thought that Dale didn’t look at Bill the same way he had at Marie. We walked...
December 28, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “That’s how you left it?” Clarissa asked, later that evening, as we sat by the fireplace. “Given I didn’t have an answer to her question, there wasn’t really anything more I could say. She didn’t make me leave or anything, and we had a nice dinner with her parents and maternal grandparents. And she kissed me properly when I left.” “That’s good, I think.” “I think it’s neutral, which is, I suppose, ‘good’ from one perspective.” “I think you were right...
March 9, 1985, McKinley, Ohio On Saturday morning, Clarissa and I had breakfast together at Doctor Blahnik’s house where we were both staying during break. I’d slept at the dorm the previous night because it didn’t officially close until Saturday at noon. I had walked over from the dorm, made my toast with jam and sliced a grapefruit, then poured a glass of grapefruit juice and joined Clarissa at the kitchen table where she was eating bacon and pancakes with maple syrup. “How are things at...
April 15, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “How are you feeling, Petrovich?” Clarissa asked when she came to my door on Monday morning after I’d run and prayed. “Fine. I slept like a log last night! What did Abby think?” “She was pretty awestruck by the service and had a good time at the party. Everyone else seemed to have a great time, too.” “I think Clark made some new friends,” I chuckled. “He spent like three hours with the old men smoking and drinking!” “So did Gene. Did Jocelyn have to pour...
May 25, 1984, West Monroe, Ohio After our second round, Violet and I went to her bathroom to shower. We needed to get back to the party, so we didn’t take too long, and once we were clean and dry, we dressed and I helped her change the sheets on her bed. She put them in the washing machine, and checked the time so she could return to put them in the dryer. Once she was satisfied there was no remaining evidence, we left the house to walk back to the party. “Thank you for fucking my brains...
Chapter 10: Love And Other Things June 23, 1984, West Monroe, Ohio I’d had to skip my Saturday morning mini-golfing with Dona because Clarissa and I needed to be in McKinley for Sasha’s 11:00am wedding. Saturday weddings were not the norm, but Vladyka ARKADY had granted «ekonomia» because of the circumstances. While we were in the Apostle’s Fast, there were no strict canons against marriage during the Apostles Fast like there were for the Dormition Fast which would begin in a week. Given...
June 30, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “I was right!” I said when I arrived at Doctor Blahnik’s house after lunch with Mr. Kozlov. “No way!” “He asked me to take responsibility for the distribution of charity to individuals and families in need. He’s been doing it, temporarily, because of Deacon Grigory’s heart attack. As he said, it does belong with clergy, and typically falls to the deacon.” “Good call, Petrovich.” “He did have a second matter to discuss,” I grinned. “So, actually, we were both...
August 4, 1984, Rutherford, Ohio “Hi!” Liz exclaimed when Lara and I walked into the restaurant in Rutherford on Saturday morning. “Hi!” I replied, hugging her. Paul and I shook hands with a nod, I hugged Emmy, and then the five of us sat in a round corner booth. “Liz said you did really well on your test,” Paul said. I nodded, “I’ll get into the school I want, which is all that really mattered to me. Well, I have to have an interview, but I don’t foresee any problems there. Clarissa did...
October 1, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “Hi, Ang,” I said when she came to the phone. “Hi, Mike!” she answered. “How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” “OK. Have you thought about what I asked?” “Yes. Has Doctor Mercer talked to you about it?” “Yes,” Angie sighed. “And you agree with her?” “It’s more complicated than that,” I replied gently. “At this point, with my upcoming ordination, that kind of sin would be a serious problem. Father Nicholas warned me, without us talking about you, that he’d...
October 18, 1984, McKinley, Ohio On Thursday Clarissa, Sandy, and I had our fifth and final interviews in Pittsburgh. It followed the same basic pattern as the other four. Each of the schools - McKinley, OSU, UC, Indiana, and Pittsburgh had something to recommend itself. The girls and I discussed the strengths and weaknesses of each of the four schools besides McKinley, and decided, if we all didn’t get into McKinley, our order of choices would be UC, Indiana, Pittsburgh, and then OSU. Any...
October 20, 1984, West Monroe, Ohio “Please do not let my parents bait you into an emotional response,” I said to Elizaveta as I turned off Route 50 in West Monroe. “You think they will?” “I have no idea; I just wanted to warn you.” “Paul seems really nice,” Elizaveta said. “And yes, it was bad that he broke the law, but he and Liz are getting married. So in the end, they’re doing the right thing. You’re five years older than I am, and right now, I’m only about a year older than Liz...
November 3, 1984, McKinley, Ohio “That was fantastic, Mike!” Melody gushed when the debate ended about two hours after it had begun. “He served me up a series of fastballs right over the plate,” I replied. “His mistake was attacking externals at first, because that put him on the wrong foot from the get-go. If he had focused purely on theology, I wouldn’t have been able to score so many points with what amounted to ‘zingers’.” “You had him too tied up in knots trying to explain how he knew...
December 11, 1984, Rutherford, Ohio “What do you want us to do?” Clarissa asked. “If you and Jocelyn will just wait here, Elizaveta and I will go get my dad.” “You’re that confident?” “No, but I have to seem confident to successfully make the case to my dad. And I have less than ten minutes in which to do that.” Jocelyn and I got out of the car, then Clarissa and Elizaveta got out of the back seats. I took Elizaveta’s hand and led her into the County Administration Building. We took the...
January 12, 1985, Greater Cincinnati, Ohio “You came alone?” Doctor Mercer asked when I walked into her office in Milford. “I did. I’m going to see Angie’s pastor after you and I finish our session.” “Did you tell Elizaveta you were going to be here?” “Yes.” “Did you tell her WHY you were going to be here?” “No. That seemed to me to introduce unnecessary turmoil. I did tell my bishop and priest about the situation.” “That’s unexpected. Why tell them and not her?” “I saw my bishop on...
January 12, 1985, McKinley, Ohio “How are you, Mik?” Jocelyn asked when I arrived back at the dorm. “I feel like I’ve gone fifteen rounds with Ali.” “Would you even last one round?” “No, of course not, but I STILL feel like I was in the ring for the full fifteen.” “I know you usually talk to Clarissa, but she’s with Abby. I have an ear if you want.” “I love you, Jos; that’s never changed. And I can use an ear.” “Then come on,” she said. “Your room?” “We’ll leave the door open if you...
Great and Holy Thursday, April 11, 1985, McKinley, Ohio I slept in Thursday morning, then ran, showered, dressed, and then, because Elizaveta was in school, drove directly to the church. Elizaveta would be there, but her mom would pick her up just in time to get to the service, then take her back to school immediately afterwards. Attendance at the service, which commemorated the Last Supper, was usually sparse as people had to work or be in school. The same would be true for the Friday...