Shag.co.uk free porn video

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With the uncertainty of the coronavirus infecting our daily lives, it’s hard to know what the hell to do with ourselves. Everything seems like a risk of contamination these days. People are afraid to go to the grocery store, let alone hang out with friends or nail crackwhores. In these weird times, I’ve turned to one of the safest pastimes: using sites like Shag.co.uk to have sex with strangers I meet on the Internet.

I crack jokes, but these guys are still getting a couple of million visits a month. That tells you a lot about the site’s popularity on a regular day, but it says even more when half the world ain’t even supposed to leave their homes. Either somebody’s getting laid or there are just a bunch of hard-up, horny motherfuckers trying to relieve their cabin fever. Leave it to your old pal The Porn Dude to figure it out.

What the Hell is Shag?

I wonder where those millions of visitors heard about Shag. I’m guessing word of mouth is a huge factor here, because the landing page doesn’t do a goddamn thing to sell you on the site. There’s a Join Now button and a Login button superimposed over a couple of models, both way the fuck out of your league. That’s basically it, though you can find a FAQ and some glowing reviews in the footer if you scroll down.

The Shag.co.uk Reviews page is a marketer’s dream line-up, with men and women of all ages (well, from 19 to 57) praising the site. It’s made flirting so much easier, made it easier to find like-minds, and yes, gotten people laid. That’s if you believe Jeff, 41, from Bristol, or Rosie, 55, from Dover. Call me a cynical fuck, but every website, business, and high-end prostitute only advertises with their 5-star reviews. If Sally got 419-scammed by a Nigerian prince here, they left that review off the page.

The FAQ mostly talks about technical issues like uploading photos and forgetting passwords. One question asks if you can really meet people on Shag, and of course, the answer is, “Of course!” They give you the same basic advice you see on any dating site to be interesting and take good photos, but that’s common sense, right? You’ve got to be the hugest dipshit if you’re uploading drunk-face selfies and describing yourself with anime metaphors, but then again, I’ve seen how people behave over at Reddit.

Quick, Easy Sign-Up to Meet Chicks

They don't do much to sell me on a membership out front, but the site’s numbers tell me there’s some good shit inside. With that in mind, I clicked the button hovering over that pretty lady’s face to join Shag.co.uk.

It’s a pretty standard dating site profile setup. First, they ask your sex and orientation, plus your location. In case you’re a fucking retard and didn’t catch it from the name, but this is a UK dating site, with listings all over dear old Blighty. London is set by default, but they’ve got about a dozen options. Meet a hot slut in Yorkshire and The Humber, hook up with a new babe in Scotland, or find some NSA tail in Northern Ireland.

You’ll need an email address to sign up for Shag, just like you will on any dating site. They’ll suggest a password for you, and weirdly, a nickname. They wanted to call me Kennedey423, but I didn’t feel like it fit who I am as a person. You’ve only got 14 letters, so I chose a name that told people more about the real me: DudeWGiantDick.

I like to use temporary, disposable email addresses when I sign up for sites I’m not too familiar with. As a professional Porn Dude, I’m even more susceptible than normal people to dick-pill and penis-pump email spam, so I consider it a business technique. Shag is fucking serious about preventing people from using temporary email addresses, and I needed to try half a dozen services before something worked. That’s potentially a good sign, because non-human spambots and phishing machines will have an even harder time signing up than I did.

Once I did get signed up and logged in, I got a message saying they’d give my profile maximum visibility once it’s completed. I also got a few private messages immediately. One’s from Shag Support, saying they hope I find what I’m looking for. The other two appear to be really thirsty broads ready to hook up with a local stranger who hasn’t even filled out their profile or uploaded a single photo. Maybe it’s because I mentioned my huge dick in my name, huh? I’m sure it’s not because they’re bots.

Who Are These Girls Hitting on Me?

According to her profile, Burgess is a 40-year-old married chick with raven hair and an average shape. She’s curious and dominant, prefers exhibitionism, role-playing, and group sex, and is open to an affair, hanging out, or one-night stands. She doesn’t have a photo up, though, and the other chick does.

B4FM is a chubby 41-year-old with less kinky shit in her profile than Burgess, but at least I can see her cleavage. “How are you doing?” her message reads. “I’m feeling adventurous today so I decided to take the initiative. Let’s see what happens!”

“Hey, girl,” I wrote. “Wanna get within six feet of someone tonight?”

Instead of sending my message, Shag gave me a message saying I needed some credits if I wanted to talk to anybody. The standard package is 230 credits for 30 pounds, or about 0.13 per credit. If I’m going to pay webcam money to talk to somebody, I’d prefer it not be an obvious bot. With that in mind, I went looking for actual women.

Find the Girlfriend, Wife, or NSA Whore of Your Dreams

One of the things Shag has going for it is a pretty slick Advanced Search page. If you’re in a hurry, the Quick Search feature lets you pull up all the local babes by age and filter out anyone without a photo if you’d prefer. It’s really worth digging into all the options, though.

Choose your ideal hookup’s eye and hair color, their height, and weight, as well as their body type. They’ve got a bunch of marital statuses to choose from, too, in case you prefer getting it on with married broads. If you want my advice, stick to happily married chicks because they’re just looking for a fun time on the side. A woman who bitches about her husband is looking to lure you in for the long haul.

Here’s where it gets fun. The Open To field helps you dial in exactly the type of action you’re looking for. Some chicks on Shag are looking for affairs, others are looking for relationships. Some just want one-night stands and others want to travel the fucking world with you.

I like how little the Preferences field leaves to the imagination. I mean, they could get kinkier about fetish-friendliness, but they also list more activities than I see on other dating sites. Check off a box for cybersex, BDSM, threesomes or “body parts”. The Live Dating checkbox will appeal to those who were worried Shag.co.uk was aiming for an entirely necrophiliac demographic.

Where the Hot Bitches At?

As far as dating sites go, Shag doesn’t have the biggest userbase. I left most of the search fields blank and just searched by age range. Even in London, there were fewer than 50 per range, which ain’t great. That advanced search is fantastic and all, but it kind of goes to waste when there aren’t very many babes.

The good news is I didn’t find a ton of obvious bots when I was browsing the listings. Here’s a trick: in Chrome, right-click a photo and do a Reverse Image Search. If she’s a bot, there’s a decent chance you’ll find the photo in a gallery of random, unsourced hot chicks. It’s not a foolproof method and can still be faked, but it’s useful as hell.

It doesn’t cost anything to browse the profiles at Shag.co.uk, but take a look around before you upgrade to a paid account. Depending on where you’re located, those deep search functions might help you find the girl of your dreams. If they don’t list many babes in your region, you’re better off trying one of the other dating sites from my list.

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The sound of birds chirping their morning tunes woke me up. It took me a few minutes to gather my bearings and realize I was not in my own bed. Then I remembered where I was. Looking down I saw the most beautiful girl in the world. Katherine seemed to fit perfectly in my arms and her light breathing was like music to my ears. I could most definitely get used to waking up in the mornings like this. The question was; Would I? I mean, sure we loved each other. That much had been confirmed. We...

Straight Sex
3 years ago
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The Generals Mistress

I'm waiting now. Sitting here with my Colt M1911 in one hand and a shot glass full of some VERY expensive Scotch in the other. Waiting to be taken into custody. I set down the empty shot glass and pick up one of the General's cigars, and light it up. I puff on it a bit, and the flavor and nicotine soothe my nerves. Yes, I'm waiting for the flashing lights and sirens to blare as the police pull up outside. Why, you might ask? Well, that tale actually starts years ago, when I met and fell in...

4 years ago
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The Adventures of Ben Tayler Part 1

It all began innocently enough. Our neighbour Mrs Morgan asked my mom if I would give her daughter elementary lessons in French before their ‘once in a lifetime’ holiday in Europe. Being 16 with time on my hands in the long summer holiday and needing the cash I said ok. I guessed it would be easy as my mom is French and so I have been raised bi-lingual. Besides Ella was a sweet 9 year old with a bright personality and quite clever. Mrs Morgan worked part-time at the local supermarket so...

4 years ago
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Bhabhi Jo Choda Maje Se

Meri pehli story ko acha risponce mila.Comments bi aye kuch logo ge.Us me se ek babhi ka mail aya.Our unhone mera number bi manga.Dhire dhire hamari what’s app pe bat hone lagi normal vali.Ek din achanak se call aya ke vo daman ayi hui hai or goldbich hotel me ruki huyi hai kya tum milne ko kaha. Me dopeher karib 1 baje hotel pe jake car par mese call kiya to unhone room number kaha or room me ane ko kaha fir me room pe jake room ki bel baja yi to ak a admi ne door open kiya jo ki bhabhi ke...

2 years ago
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Penetration

A small change in typographics - Yvonne is now plain text, Zara is in italics and the Wisdom remains monotype. Sorry :-) I knew this was going to be shit when Zara had to refer to the AI, explanation wise, even before she'd finished describing the assignment. Up to that point, it had been about as routine as my jobs ever get: Go in, remove target #1 — in the presence of targets #2, #3 and #4, thereby giving them a chance to rethink some of their life choices — and then get the hell out....

3 years ago
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Memoirs Of A Young Victorian Lady Volume IIIChapter 12 Our Wedding

I slept late the next morning, so late in fact that rather than my awakening James pleasantly, it was he who awoke me in such a fashion. I climbed from the depths of my slumber with a mounting feeling of pleasure, and by the time my eyes fluttered open, they did so to look around with considerable joy. James had carefully pulled the sheets from me and pushed me onto my back, then had spread my legs apart and crawled down between them. He smiled up at me from their juncture, where he was...

1 year ago
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Louisiana Lessons Part Five Lee Anne

Cupping and lifting up her breasts she teasingly asked “You boys like what you see?” Noticing our embarrassment she then asked. “Would you like to see more?” After the morning coffee room service start of my day at Plantation House, late breakfast downstairs was a bit of a sombre/hung-over affair with lots of coffee being consumed. After breakfast, pushing back from the table Lee Anne said “It’s a glorious sunny day and Gary and I are planning to spend time at the waterhole in the river...

Masturbation
3 years ago
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Jokes and GigglesChapter 79

* I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing. I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning. * The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 21, and her name's Kathy. * Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our...

3 years ago
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FIRST TIME FANTASY

One day, while daydreaming about sex, as I often do, I hit upon an old memory. I had been a young man and was fond of going to the local porno theater. There was only one in town and it was quite popular on weekend nights. I had been watching the porno flick, a gal was taking a guy up her pussy from behind while his buddy sucked her clit from below. I remember not being turned on too much by that particular scene. Especially when the guys cock slipped out of the cunt and landed on his buddies...

1 year ago
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Song of ThanksChapter 18 All Ye All Ye In Come Free

The law of sacrifice is uniform throughout the world. To be effective it demands the sacrifice of the bravest and the most spotless Mohandas Gandhi MH-53J Pave Low Helicopter on ground at Cave Tues., June, 26 9:25 PM (Local), Tues., June 26 16:55:00 (Zulu) Failure... a hard word for an elite team like this one to swallow but there it was, the rescue operation had failed. The entire team was retreating back aboard the Pave Low Helicopter with the discipline of professionals, but with the...

2 years ago
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The next day

Finally giving in lead to a whole new life. Around 1 AM I told Bob I needed some sleep and he should go to his room. As he layed behind me cuddling and his hard cock still pressed against my ass, he reached over and kissed my neck and said he needed some sleep as well. I'd never known a few kisses on my neck by another man could be so erotic. We both got up to dress and he said maybe we'd see each other for dinner that night and I agreed maybe so. After Bob left, I took a shower and realized...

3 years ago
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Xxxecils NymphaManiacsChapter 5 Not Woman but Demon

I didn't want to go into the field uprepared; so that meant that there had to be a way to test out new weapons and technologies before I was placed in danger. I needed a controlled environment in which I could determine whether a given chemical or weapon would affect Nympha. So that meant I had to have Nympha. Here, on hand in my abandoned Brownfield factory. There was really no other way. The elevator door opened and I stepped into a chamber with a two-story high old reactor...

4 years ago
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The Return

Susan had missed his touch for over six months now. She longed to feel him caressing her passionately and knew she was only moments away. She had taken care of her needs for the last few months with a new vibrator that had arrived shortly after his departure. She had used it on several occasions and each time she had found new levels of pleasure with it. The lube she had purchased no longer made her feel sticky but more natural which allowed her to explore her womanhood with a new abandon....

2 years ago
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Adventures in Swinging Ch 10 How It All Ended

After my experience with Dan and Lisa, I wasn’t actively looking for another “hotwife” couple. Shortly after I severed ties with the two of them, however, I received a message on our swinging website. I had reached out to Phil and Danielle shortly before meeting Dan and Lisa. I was not only intrigued by the photos they included in their profile, but also with their sincere and articulate description of themselves.Danielle was just my type of woman: blonde and petite, and with an exquisite...

Wife Lovers
2 years ago
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  • 12
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Alexander and the Pensioners

Like I told my friend Hank, I moved to Florida after teaching for two years in North Carolina. Hank and I had been close friends. I guess it would be more accurate to say we were lovers for a year before he enrolled at a culinary school in Paris. Soon after he returned, Hank hooked up with his high school sweetheart and married her. I had moved on too.Hank and I had some great times together. We both loved sex and made the most of our many hours in bed. He was wealthy and I imagined being his...

Money
3 years ago
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  • 28
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Jazzs First Time Max Jazz 2nd ch

Introduction: Title is pretty self explanitory, Jazz has new experiences Max woke up to find his bed empty, making him wonder for a moment if the night before had all just been a dream, he glanced at the alarm clock on his night stand to see it was nearly noon. It wasnt unusual for him to indulge by sleeping in on the weekends, but certainly not this late. He got up, going into his bathroom to take a shower, before shaving and doing the rest of his morning grooming rituals. He slid on a pair...

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