Barter
- 2 years ago
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With the uncertainty of the coronavirus infecting our daily lives, it’s hard to know what the hell to do with ourselves. Everything seems like a risk of contamination these days. People are afraid to go to the grocery store, let alone hang out with friends or nail crackwhores. In these weird times, I’ve turned to one of the safest pastimes: using sites like Shag.co.uk to have sex with strangers I meet on the Internet.
I crack jokes, but these guys are still getting a couple of million visits a month. That tells you a lot about the site’s popularity on a regular day, but it says even more when half the world ain’t even supposed to leave their homes. Either somebody’s getting laid or there are just a bunch of hard-up, horny motherfuckers trying to relieve their cabin fever. Leave it to your old pal The Porn Dude to figure it out.
What the Hell is Shag?
I wonder where those millions of visitors heard about Shag. I’m guessing word of mouth is a huge factor here, because the landing page doesn’t do a goddamn thing to sell you on the site. There’s a Join Now button and a Login button superimposed over a couple of models, both way the fuck out of your league. That’s basically it, though you can find a FAQ and some glowing reviews in the footer if you scroll down.
The Shag.co.uk Reviews page is a marketer’s dream line-up, with men and women of all ages (well, from 19 to 57) praising the site. It’s made flirting so much easier, made it easier to find like-minds, and yes, gotten people laid. That’s if you believe Jeff, 41, from Bristol, or Rosie, 55, from Dover. Call me a cynical fuck, but every website, business, and high-end prostitute only advertises with their 5-star reviews. If Sally got 419-scammed by a Nigerian prince here, they left that review off the page.
The FAQ mostly talks about technical issues like uploading photos and forgetting passwords. One question asks if you can really meet people on Shag, and of course, the answer is, “Of course!” They give you the same basic advice you see on any dating site to be interesting and take good photos, but that’s common sense, right? You’ve got to be the hugest dipshit if you’re uploading drunk-face selfies and describing yourself with anime metaphors, but then again, I’ve seen how people behave over at Reddit.
Quick, Easy Sign-Up to Meet Chicks
They don't do much to sell me on a membership out front, but the site’s numbers tell me there’s some good shit inside. With that in mind, I clicked the button hovering over that pretty lady’s face to join Shag.co.uk.
It’s a pretty standard dating site profile setup. First, they ask your sex and orientation, plus your location. In case you’re a fucking retard and didn’t catch it from the name, but this is a UK dating site, with listings all over dear old Blighty. London is set by default, but they’ve got about a dozen options. Meet a hot slut in Yorkshire and The Humber, hook up with a new babe in Scotland, or find some NSA tail in Northern Ireland.
You’ll need an email address to sign up for Shag, just like you will on any dating site. They’ll suggest a password for you, and weirdly, a nickname. They wanted to call me Kennedey423, but I didn’t feel like it fit who I am as a person. You’ve only got 14 letters, so I chose a name that told people more about the real me: DudeWGiantDick.
I like to use temporary, disposable email addresses when I sign up for sites I’m not too familiar with. As a professional Porn Dude, I’m even more susceptible than normal people to dick-pill and penis-pump email spam, so I consider it a business technique. Shag is fucking serious about preventing people from using temporary email addresses, and I needed to try half a dozen services before something worked. That’s potentially a good sign, because non-human spambots and phishing machines will have an even harder time signing up than I did.
Once I did get signed up and logged in, I got a message saying they’d give my profile maximum visibility once it’s completed. I also got a few private messages immediately. One’s from Shag Support, saying they hope I find what I’m looking for. The other two appear to be really thirsty broads ready to hook up with a local stranger who hasn’t even filled out their profile or uploaded a single photo. Maybe it’s because I mentioned my huge dick in my name, huh? I’m sure it’s not because they’re bots.
Who Are These Girls Hitting on Me?
According to her profile, Burgess is a 40-year-old married chick with raven hair and an average shape. She’s curious and dominant, prefers exhibitionism, role-playing, and group sex, and is open to an affair, hanging out, or one-night stands. She doesn’t have a photo up, though, and the other chick does.
B4FM is a chubby 41-year-old with less kinky shit in her profile than Burgess, but at least I can see her cleavage. “How are you doing?” her message reads. “I’m feeling adventurous today so I decided to take the initiative. Let’s see what happens!”
“Hey, girl,” I wrote. “Wanna get within six feet of someone tonight?”
Instead of sending my message, Shag gave me a message saying I needed some credits if I wanted to talk to anybody. The standard package is 230 credits for 30 pounds, or about 0.13 per credit. If I’m going to pay webcam money to talk to somebody, I’d prefer it not be an obvious bot. With that in mind, I went looking for actual women.
Find the Girlfriend, Wife, or NSA Whore of Your Dreams
One of the things Shag has going for it is a pretty slick Advanced Search page. If you’re in a hurry, the Quick Search feature lets you pull up all the local babes by age and filter out anyone without a photo if you’d prefer. It’s really worth digging into all the options, though.
Choose your ideal hookup’s eye and hair color, their height, and weight, as well as their body type. They’ve got a bunch of marital statuses to choose from, too, in case you prefer getting it on with married broads. If you want my advice, stick to happily married chicks because they’re just looking for a fun time on the side. A woman who bitches about her husband is looking to lure you in for the long haul.
Here’s where it gets fun. The Open To field helps you dial in exactly the type of action you’re looking for. Some chicks on Shag are looking for affairs, others are looking for relationships. Some just want one-night stands and others want to travel the fucking world with you.
I like how little the Preferences field leaves to the imagination. I mean, they could get kinkier about fetish-friendliness, but they also list more activities than I see on other dating sites. Check off a box for cybersex, BDSM, threesomes or “body parts”. The Live Dating checkbox will appeal to those who were worried Shag.co.uk was aiming for an entirely necrophiliac demographic.
Where the Hot Bitches At?
As far as dating sites go, Shag doesn’t have the biggest userbase. I left most of the search fields blank and just searched by age range. Even in London, there were fewer than 50 per range, which ain’t great. That advanced search is fantastic and all, but it kind of goes to waste when there aren’t very many babes.
The good news is I didn’t find a ton of obvious bots when I was browsing the listings. Here’s a trick: in Chrome, right-click a photo and do a Reverse Image Search. If she’s a bot, there’s a decent chance you’ll find the photo in a gallery of random, unsourced hot chicks. It’s not a foolproof method and can still be faked, but it’s useful as hell.
It doesn’t cost anything to browse the profiles at Shag.co.uk, but take a look around before you upgrade to a paid account. Depending on where you’re located, those deep search functions might help you find the girl of your dreams. If they don’t list many babes in your region, you’re better off trying one of the other dating sites from my list.
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xmoviesforyouHey there readers, this is my second story in my series about some fun I had with a girl I dated early on in college, towards the end of first year, I’ll call her Radhika (I’ve changed her name out of respect). We broke up a long time back but we had some pretty interesting experiences together, and I’ll try and put each one out to you guys as a series of episodes. Check out my previous story here : https://www.indiansexstories2.net/couple/stealing-away-radhika-chapter-1/ And feel free to get...
Sam opened her eyes and carefully removed the hand that cupped her breast. She rolled away from the sleeping woman next to her and sat up on the edge of the bed. She looked down and saw the two small red puncture marks just above and to the left of her womanhood. She rubbed her finger over them and smiled. "Amy, I don't have the faintest idea why but after I got over the initial shock and slight pain when you bit me, I almost climaxed again while you were drinking my blood," she said in a...
Home alone and horny, my usual state of mind.After dinner at home, I decided I could take a chance for a slutty night at the local adult book store. I dressed like a nice whore and grabbed my car keys, hoping not to be disappointed by men…Once there, I paid the fee and went directly into the back section, to the booths where there was a nice amount of single guys around.I stood there, getting a little anxious and nervous, waiting for an empty glory hole to enter. I felt fine, as I was catching...
In spite of the camp's rustic appearance the cabins had many of the amenities of home - including air conditioning. Dannie listened to the murmur of the cold air as it blew into the cabin from the unit next to her bunk as she waited for the time to sneak out and meet Ben. They'd tried to talk at dinner but between the noise of the other diners and the fact that they didn't have any privacy in the middle of the crowded dining hall the only thing they'd managed to do was plan for a late...
CHAPTER 5 Mother Gets It All Three Ways TUESDAY: A - WELCOME TO THE ECSTACY MOTEL, “ROOMS RENTED BY THE HOUR”: Cindy was lying on her back on the floorboard of her van, right behind the bucket seats, with her son Larry’s cock in her mouth, and his large scrotum lying on her forehead. She was naked except for her red fringed, calf high, red suede boots, with their 5 inch heels, and her untied and open silky red blouse. The boys had removed and left at home...
Summer 2052 Clark cast his fishing line back into the stream, hoping to catch a third fish one each for Sally, Katie and himself for their supper. The steady drizzle wasn’t helping much, although rain was dearly needed for the crops and hayfields. He would have been soaking wet by now, if he hadn’t given in to Katie’s insistence that he wear one of Brother Matthew’s robes to go outside. If Katie had been with him, she would have caught a dozen fish by now and he would be back inside...
Chapter 12: A Night To Remember - Ebony Gets Triple-Teamed"All right, girls," said Ebony, as she addressed Tiffany, Clyda and Dee. "Here's how it's gonna be tonight. You're right in the fact that I haven't been fucked for longer than I care to remember. And when I was, it usually wasn't with anyone who could fill me or satisfy me. So here's what we're gonna do..." Ebony reached up to the head of the bed, and grabbed several of Tiffany's pillows. She placed these at the end of the bed in a...
------------- Zeus - King of the Greek gods Hera - Queen of the Greek gods, sister and wife of Zeus Hades - god of the underworld, brother of Zeus Poseidon - god of the sea, brother of Zeus Demeter - goddess of harvest and fertility of the earth, sister of Zeus Aphrodite - Daughter of Zeus and Dione, Goddess of love, beauty and sexuality Artemis - Daughter of Zeus and Leto, goddess of the hunt, the moon, and chastity Athena - Daughter of Zeus and Metis, goddess of wisdom,...
Was living like a star always like this? Carter had to admit that while the wild ride to work in that car had been awesome, the stares he got while waiting for the lights to change, along with all the giggles and even a few not so veiled invitations from both men and women, had made him feel rather ... icky. Maybe driving a fancy car was really not for him. Alex’s lifestyle was so overdone. It made one wonder what could be hiding underneath. He was about to go into his office when...