MyNonNudeGF
- 1 year ago
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Non Nude Beauties free porn video
I’m a glutton for punishment. Sometimes as opposed to enjoying porn, I want porn to torture me. I want porn to make me its little bitch. When that urge hits, it’s not the most hardcore degenerate shit that I lean towards. To me, looking at non-nude porn is all the torture I can handle.
I’ve seen every debaucherous act that one human being can possibly do to another one thousand times over. There isn’t a single thing on this earth that I haven’t cum to. I’ve seen four midgets doing handstands while they each have the leg of a step stool shoved up their ass. How did they get the legs into their assholes, you ask? Simple. A circus conductor was standing on the step stool and jumping up and down, and each time he landed, the stool went in just a bit more.
I’ve seen six one-armed Albanian hookers perform a live version of the human centipede in a truck stop parking lot. Things got hairy when the front bitch started chugging diesel fuel and taking liquid hot shits into the mouth of the person behind them. It’s a good thing they were all mounted on Sabians, or they would have had nothing to distract them from the personal hell they were living.
I’ve seen the top of a hookah inserted into a woman’s pussy so a local town’s garbage collectors union could use her vagina to smoke PCP. The problem was that it wasn’t PCP. It was actually a half-consumed jolly rancher someone had rolled around in an ashtray. But, oddly enough, everyone still seemed to get fucked up. I think it was just the energy in the room.
The Gaping Maw
Everyone who isn’t me might be shocked by how wide the asshole can stretch. The key is that it doesn’t happen right away. It takes years of anal stretching before you are prepared to insert an object like the Exhaust manifold of a 94’ Buick Regal. Women spend years using tapered rods to widen their brown eyes. If it weren’t for these ladies’ hard work and dedication, I would have never had the opportunity to insert my entire head into a woman’s vulva. It was a very enlightening experience despite being so dark in there. I asked, but she wouldn’t let me bring a torch to help light my way.
Testing self-defense and anti-riot gear on your own genitals sound like a bad idea, and it might be for the practitioners, but for audience members, it’s a rip-roaring good time. The difference between the look on a woman’s face when she cums, and the look when she gets tased in the clit is negligible. A word to the wise who also have stretched assholes: be careful where you let people shoot non-lethal bullets at you. Needing six hours of surgery to dislodge four rubber pellets from your spleen makes all the joy experienced in the moment fade from memory.
Few women do it better than Eastern block bitches in extreme activities. They are of a different breed. They’ve seen enough shit in their lifetime to be able to turn anything erotic. If you’re about to fuck a bitch and you hear her singing the Moldovian national anthem in the shower while she gets ready, you better prepare for war. This bitch is about to do shit to you didn’t know possible.
I once met a bitch who had snuck into the Chyrnoble reactor after the meltdown, cut out a chunk of the elephant’s foot, and fashioned a rudimentary dildo from it she would use to both penetrate her anus and butter her bread. Everything is a multipurpose tool in old Soviet nations.
This bitch’s pussy was as rugged and resilient as anything in this world comes. I once saw her smelt iron ore inside it. Then, a couple of weeks ago, she pulled out the desiccated remains of a squirrel she didn’t even know had got up there.
If you try to finger-blast her, her cervix will deglove your digit in a matter of seconds. The only way you can fuck her is to wear a lead condom and one of those vests they give you before you get an X-ray. In case you were wondering, her name is Olga Bertha Gertrude Thakerfan. Don’t bother calling out her name to find her, though. Just follow the smell of rusty mineral deposits and volcanic gases.
When you have spent a lifetime imbibing this kind of high stimulus entertainment, your brain needs a break every now and again. It needs to reset. Otherwise, it wouldn’t feel anything anymore. However, just because I reset my brain, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to see sexy women anymore. It just means I need more left to the mystery than usual.
When it’s time to take a breather, I head to Reddit’s non-nude beauties forum. From here, I can see all the underwear, swimsuit, and handbra content my twisted little heart desires. These bitches are every bit as sexy as any porn star, but it will require a little imagination if you want to see them naked.
A few things stick out to me on this subreddit. Number one is whoever is curating this shit has seriously high standards. They don’t even allow nines in the place - it’s an all tens diet. I love it. These bitches are sexy as humans get. You will be begging your computer monitor to strip them naked for you. And believe it or not, that just may be possible. More on that later.
I won’t offend your intelligence by telling you what Reddit looks like. I’m sure you have been here several times on assorted porn and video game subreddits. Obviously, there are some rules in place to help the site stay on theme.
SFW My Ass
First off, both professional and amateur content is permitted. Second, No nudity. “This is not an NSFW (Not Safe For Work) subreddit.” I take some umbrage here. I’m not sure where these subreddit moderators work, but this shit wouldn’t fly at most of the gigs I’ve ever had. Just because a bitch isn’t naked doesn’t mean your boss would appreciate you watching a chick rub her pussy through her thong when you’re supposed to be filing TPS reports.
The third is no underage content. This proves my previous point. If this was an SFW subreddit, why wouldn’t children be allowed? Perhaps because you’ll be double fired for scrolling pics of a redneck family reunion orgy on some ‘definitely not porn’ subreddit.
The fourth is that Imgur or Reddit content is preferred. For the uninitiated, Imgur is a meme viewing app closely associated with Reddit. It doesn’t carry porn, but it does showcase the occasional model such as Wednesday Adams.
Last but not least, if an image, video, or GIF seems too risque or dirty, slap an NSFW tag on that bitch. Guess what? As I already said, they should all have NSFW tags on them. Here are the post titles for the last few additions. “Nice Tits,” “Great Ass,” “Girls Kissing,” “Nice Ass,” “Sexy Girl,” and “Nice Boobs.” Please reflect on what your boss would say if they walked in on you looking at any of those posts.
The NonNudeBeauties subreddit has a thriving community of members who constantly post the sexiest bitches they can find. It was created in early September of 2017 and, in that time, has amassed almost twenty-four thousand members. In fact, multiple new posts were made when I was writing this review.
As I hinted at earlier, you might just be able to strip these bitches nude for you. It won’t be your monitor doing the work, though. Instead, it will be a bot. The nudification bot 2.0 is a vast improvement over the first rendition. Bitches are more naked than ever, and the quality has been improved by leaps and bounds.
Don’t forget that masturbation isn’t the only use you can get out of the nudification robot. You’re the pilfering of one friend’s family photo away from ruining his life forever. He will never be able to unsee his Mom’s juicy ripe mammary glands.
We can’t all watch the hardest of hardest core twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year. So even the Porndude needs to take a step back to regain perspective. Otherwise, watching Ukrainian circus midgets fist fuck the taxidermied corpses of a coyote pack just doesn’t hit like it’s supposed to.
The place is a subreddit, so there isn’t much to improve on. However, for the sake of the website, I might suggest they give up on the idea of ever being safe for work.
We can’t have the gas pedal slammed to the floor all the time, so take a moment to catch your breath on this non-nude subreddit.
Maddy
- 07.03.2023
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- Reddit NSFW List
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