The Malfunctions of Life
The German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer wrote that, "We generally find pleasure to be not nearly so pleasant as we expected, and pain very much more painful." When I built my machine I was so satisfied with myself. It was my finest work to date, and it would revolutionize the transmission of government and corporate trade secrets. I had the joy of success in hand awaiting its verification, but it turned sour so quickly that I'm forced to tell my story on this paper to remind myself...