Bumper Stickers free porn video

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Introduction: For all those people that think their cars look too boring......

Jesus loves you, but I think your an asshole!

Zero to dick in 60 seconds.

Very Funny Scotty, now beam up my clothes...

Madness takes its toll--please have exact change ready.

Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS

Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can

If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're In Range

This Vehicle Swerves and Hits Pedestrians at Random

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS?

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Your k** may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!

Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Tastes like chicken keep on licking. Tastes like trout get the fuck out!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Forget about World Peace....visualize using your turn signal.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

Be nice to your k**s. They'll choose your nursing home.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Born free... taxed to death.

Some people are alive only because it's i*****l to kill them.

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

HORN DOES NOT WORK- WATCH FOR FINGER!

Don't blame me! I didn't vote!

Mopeds are like fat women. Fun to ride but you don't want to be seen with em!

If you can read this... Your parents will be home in two minutes.

Don't drink and drive.... You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

My k** Beat Up Your Honor Student!

Nice People Swallow!

Honk if you have had sex with Clinton.

Hang Up And Drive!

If you're not angry, you're not paying attention!

This car is not abandoned!

I STOP FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

Don't like my driving? Call 1-800-FUCK-YOU

"KEEP HONKING".... I'M RELOADING

Enjoy Life - Eat Out More Often

If your cute,single,and rich, HONK!

If you don't trust me with my decision, how can you trust me with a baby? Pro-Choice For Abortion

Don't laugh, your daughter could be in here.

WARNING: Driver only carries $20.00 worth of ammunition.

Sex is like air, it's only bad when your not getting any.

My wife's other car is a broom.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.

Constipated people don't give a shit.

Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.

If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Please tell your pants its not polite to point.

If that phone was up your ass, maybe you could drive a little better.

My k** got your honor roll student pregnant.

Thank you for pot smoking.

To all you virgins thanks for nothing.

If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

Horn broken...watch for finger.

It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.

If your not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.

I'm out of bed and dressed....What more do you want.

I love cats...dead ones.

I don't have an attitude problem...You have a perception problem.

One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! It comes bundled with the software.

I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

I can't dial 911. There's no 11 on my phone.

Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded fire station?

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN.

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.

Zero to bitch in 10 seconds

I don't discriminate, I hate everyone!

Life is like a bowl of cherries, and I'm in the pits!

Can't sleep, clown will eat me; Can't sleep, clown will eat me......

Wine me, Dine me, 69 me!

Student Driver-Get the hell out of my way!

HONK! If Monica Lewinsky blew you!

Constipated people don't give a crap.

Practice safe sex, go screw yourself.

If you drink don't park, accidents cause people.

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

If you don't believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.

Please tell your pants its not polite to point.

If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.

Thank you for pot smoking.

To all you virgins thanks for nothing.

If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger.

If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass.

Barney sucks.

Life is too short. Don't be a dick.

Forget Subtlety... FUCK YOU!

Most of the time I swallow, but for asshole's like you, I spit...

Fuck the dog watch out for the owner.

If it's tourist season, Then why can't we hunt them.

Work Harder. People on Welfare Depend on You.

Hire the handicapped, they're fun to watch.

Happiness is lipstick on my dipstick!

A hard on doesn't count as personal growth.

I cant remember if I'm the good twin or the bad one.

I just want revenge. Is that so bad?

I'm smart as a horse and hung like Einstein!

I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.

So many cats.....so few recipes.

My other ride is your MOTHER!!

Practicing Safe Sex? Give yourself a hand!

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Conversations 18Chapter 2

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If I Got Hungover

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Krissys Bad Day

“Fucking asshole!”, said Krissy as she slammed her car door shut. A blast of hot air poured out of the vent on the dashboard as Krissy turned on her car desperate to get away from her office and her creepy coworker with his unwanted sexual advances. The louse had forced her to work late by waiting until closing time to bring her paperwork that had to be processed and sent to corporate headquarters by the end of the day. Her skin crawled remembering the way he stared as she walked to the copy...

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Myself and Jenna Part 3

My husband was away on business, leaving the Wednesday evening and only coming home the following Tuesday. After dropping him off at the airport my daughter and I went home. We had dinner and soon we were off to bed. The next morning I dropped her off at school, went to gym and after gym headed home. I was sitting having breakfast when my phone rang, it was my friend Jenna. I had messaged her telling her that my hubby had to go away on business for a few days. She phoned to asked if I would...

3 years ago
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rich boys love 43

we got back into my car and harvey said "what new car are you getting babe" i turned to face harvey and said "how do you know im getting a new car?" "your mom told me babe she wants to know what your doing with your old one" "okay. well im getting a ferrari f430 black and i was going to give you my porshe for a get well soon gift" harvey gave me a kiss and we went home when we got home there was a few bills and a letter addressed to me so i opened it the letter said Dear Mr...

2 years ago
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Nymphomaniac

My son, Paul, and his wife Jen, Jennifer, frequently visited my wife and me during Paul's three weeks off. During this time I came to know and like Jen more than I had during their two year marriage. She was a very likable woman. She was full of humor. Young and full of energy and go-ahead-spirits out of this world. She had before the birth of their child dragged my son out on various adventures from 'White River Rafting' to a season-ticket at a theater. She wasn't a beautiful woman as...

3 years ago
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Love has no Boundaries

FIRST NAME: Your name LAST NAME: Your sister's name. You finally reach the door of your house. It has been a long day and you are tired. It was bad enough going through yet another boring day of school, but when you got to track practice the coach decided to make everyone do extra laps. "Slave-driving asshole." You think to yourself. As you enter the house you set down your overloaded backpack and your track bag. You look around and the house seems to be empty, then you here the sound of a...

Incest
4 years ago
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Hidden Erotic Desires

We all have those hidden desires, those unfullfiled sexual fantasies.....Would you let losse your inhabitions if you knew no one would ever know?Karen had just received a text from her friend saying that her train had broken down and she wasn’t going to be able to meet for a drink If she had received the text five minutes earlier she could have saved herself the £7.00 she’d handed over to the barman who had just served her a large glass of wine. Although he was quite fit and it was a very nice...

3 years ago
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1939 The New AgencyChapter 11

Ron couldn't believe that he hadn't killed the twit. He had been after him for two weeks but he was never alone. Barbara was his girl. He had killed Michael because of his nasty rape of Barbara. He should have been given a medal! Why she hadn't told the authorities puzzled him but he loved her so she must have had a good reason. That Ken guy had been a previous boyfriend. He had somehow hypnotized her. Ron had recognized that right away. She wasn't happy but she stayed near him anyway. It...

3 years ago
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Bareback

You haven't seen beauty until you've seen my daughter riding along Country Route 18 in July. We own the land on the whole stretch of road between Wendell's farm and the Amish community up north. All you ever see on that road are haywagons and buggies. And my daughter, Katherine. I swear the only reason anyone else rides that road instead of the wider route to the south is for the hope of seeing her go by on that stallion of hers. She paid for it herself, you know. Takes care of it real good.In...

Incest
2 years ago
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Juniper JonesChapter 14

Cleveland was inhospitable, beating us three out of four at "Progressive" Field (formerly known as "Jacobs Field"). Along with Baltimore's fans in the stands, I found myself hoping that the Orioles never got so desperate for spare change that they would sell "naming rights" to Oriole Park at Camden Yards. I'd seen an Internet blog where one local man said that on the day Camden Yards was renamed something like Pillsbury Park or Folger's Field, he would be through showing up for ball...

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PREDATORSrsquo HUMAN 16

CHAPTER 16: EXPLORATIONThe next morning began with more excitement. I went for a swim very early, then to the waterfall to clean the salt off. Walking back to the shelter I was thinking about what the day might bring but how would I know? I only had vague references to the terrain, a****ls, people and dangers that we might encounter. I decided immediately that extreme caution was called for. b**st and I needed to approach this with a sense of stealth reconnaissance and try to minimize being...

3 years ago
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Jack and Susan

Something odd happened to my little brother. I use the word odd, although he might use another. This happened around the time I turned sixteen, and he was fourteen. My name is Susan. He's my little brother, named Jack. We had a pool in our backyard, like most people who lived in Southern California did. We spent the summer having fun and splashing around in it. I had finally started getting tits, while Jack was growing himself. He must not have realized how tight his swim trunks were...

2 years ago
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Cuckold Couple Meeting Him

I knew it would be fun to break him in and humiliate him first, then fuck both of them together later. His wife and I had arranged the meeting and I was to take a couple pictures of him to send to her. She was working tonight and He knew to expect me some time after 6:00. Before she had left for work she was to make him put on a pair of her panties, and have him eat her out. Then he was to wait for me without getting dressed or cleaning up for maximum embarrassment. I arrived, rang the...

3 years ago
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Hooked Up Neighbor For My Wife 8211 Part 2

Note for Editor: Thank you very much to your team for publishing first part of my story. I was delighted to see that you guys did not temper with my story and published it without cutting it off. Again I have edited my story number of times and made sure that there are no mistakes. Thank you very much. I want to start second part of my story with a note of thanks to all my readers. My mail box was flooded with emails. Your feedback was very encouraging. I want to thank all my readers for the...

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My Wifes Black MasterChapter 3

I was sniffing the milk carton, trying to determine if it was still good, when Jane walked by me the next morning. She had a slight smile on her face and she was shaking her head, she thinks its funny when I do things like sniff the milk. Of course, she was completely dressed, covered from head to toe so that I couldn't see the magic marker writing on her body. She was quiet, just giving me a brief kiss and telling me that she was going to go shopping before I went into the bedroom to get...

3 years ago
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MY CAR BREAKS DOWN AND TRUCKERS GIVE ME A RIDE

My name is Jessica. I’m a fairly attractive, early-30’s single woman, about 5’6” tall, with a very nice body – my big 38D tits are my most impressive feature – a slim waist and 35” hips complete the package. As you can imagine, I had no trouble getting plenty of attention on my beach vacation. So, after 5 days of fun-filled drunkenness and debauchery in Miami, I packed my bag and headed back toward St. Louis, taking the scenic back roads through Florida and Georgia. I hadn’t given myself much...

4 years ago
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The Three Signs Book 4 LisaChapter 3 Good Fences Good Neighbours

“I guess you didn’t see what was in yesterday’s Sydney newspapers, did you?” Mary Beth asked when I came to breakfast. I shook my head. “There was another fatal accident on the Parkway, close to where Janelle was killed; this one was just a single vehicle accident. Driver and passenger both killed. Yet another white panel van, but the driver was a middle aged man, the passenger a young girl. Happened late on Thursday night; no details of the victims yet. Police don’t know what caused it,...

2 years ago
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An Unforgettable Massage Experience

I’m Nishant (Nish), male aged 29, from Bangalore/Bengaluru. I’m a software engineer by profession and working in an MNC and also an experienced masseur (providing massage) for females and couples. I travel across India to give massage to my clients. All the massages are done by me at the customer’s doorstep (home/hotel) at a very nominal cost. Mail your comments, feedbacks, enquires on I keep getting many enquiries from many people, who pretends to be females, but are males, but hard to trust...

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