Everything here is fictional except the Web Site cited. Log on
to it or this story only if of age, and only at your own risk.
And meanwhile, a happy and deeply satisfying New Year to all of you!
Letter to the Staff of sissify.com
(as dictated to Vickie Tern)
Dear Sissify Staff:
I think you should know how my signing on with you has changed my
life. I know I'm happier now by far, but that isn't up to me any
more. My girlfriend now owns me and she's so satisfied with me
that finally she has decided to marry me. But ours hasn't exactly
been a typical romance. I'd better tell you about it.
I've always enjoyed imagining what it would be like to be a girl,
to look as pretty and dress the way girls do. I've downloaded lots
of stories about it from the Net. But I've never had the courage
to try it myself, not even to try on a pair of panties. The
thought always got me trembling. My urges got so powerful they
frightened me -- I couldn't tell where they'd lead. That's why I
joined up immediately when I saw your web site instructing me how to
become a virtual girl. It was fun obeying your orders, and
pretending I was doing all those feminine things, and then reading
your encouraging messages.
Well, it happens that a couple of months ago I was reading where you
explain to sissies how to please their men by sucking their cocks,
when suddenly I heard my girlfriend's voice just behind me.
"Oh, my!" she said. "How fascinating! But you read so slowly,
Andy! Scroll down so I can see which they advise you to do first,
lick the pre-cum off the tip of the man's cock or just take the
whole head into your mouth! Which do you do?"
I was shocked! Never so embarrassed in my life! There behind me
was my girlfriend Kate calmly reading the screen over my shoulder!
How long had she been there?! What must she think of me!? That
would never have happened last year when she was still doing office
work, and wore perfume and clicked around all day on heels. I
always knew when she was home, from her scent and her sound. But
then she finished her nursing degree and took that job in that
downtown clinic, and now between her rubber-soled shoes and her
silent ways she could be anywhere! Like, just behind me!
"Is this what you dream about when you're not working?" she asked.
"Becoming a girl? Tell me, sweetie, right now is that what you are
in your own mind? If that what you want to be? Do you want to
wear pretty clothes, and look cute, so boys will like you? I mean
even when you aren't giving them head?"
"I e-mailed a long report in this afternoon," was all I could think
to say. "My boss says he's happy with it. I thought I'd just look
around a little," I finished vaguely. My face was flushed deep
red because now the screen was illustrating the best ways to slide
your bright red lips up and down a cock so a man will cum in your
mouth.
"Let's see what this place is, what the web site is where you like
to just look around a little."
Before I could reach for an off-switch she leaned over and took the
mouse and began clicking her way back and forth through the whole
Sissify web site. I just sat there, humiliated. There was no
escaping even the name, "Sissify." That is what it was for. For
feminizing men. She glanced at medical papers on hormones and
stories about wives and girlfriends converting men into their
sisters or whores and different domineering women demanding that
their sissies wear panties and brassieres all the time and pictures
of men fully dressed as women with real breasts and real cocks too,
and many appreciative letters to the staff thanking them for their
help. Now and then she glanced at me, a slight smile curling her
mouth. In no time she'd seen it all.
"Well," she said. "Very interesting. I see you didn't just
stumble into this garden of delights. You had to join up, didn't
you, uh, 'Annie.' That's your screen name, isn't it, sweetheart?
That's so sweet! You even had to fill out an elaborate
questionnaire, didn't you? You really want this, don't you?"
She remembered something. "Did you remember to tell them how once
you volunteered to rinse out my soiled undies, and I let you? I
thought it was an odd offer at the time, and I wondered about you.
Did you sniff them? Did you try on some of my prettier panties
afterward?"
"No, I didn't dare." I had nothing else to say. I sat there
clutching my hands in my lap. Nowhere to hide! I felt devastated!
"You didn't dare follow out your little urges? You wanted me to
tell you to wear my panties?" Her voice was no longer mocking, but
it had taken on an odd lilt.
I said nothing. That was what I wanted, yes.
"You know, Andy dear," she went on. "I've been thinking about your
proposal to me, your wanting to marry me? I mean, we do live
together and all, but I'd had no idea you felt that way toward me,
that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and all. I
was really deeply moved, Andy honey, really, and I've been looking
very deeply into my own feelings and needs since then. Into what
I want in a husband. But this puts a different color on a decision
like that, doesn't it? It does make a difference."
I got frightened. "Kate, please!!" I said. I'd blown it! She'll
never want to marry me now! Oh, God! "Kate, this isn't me!" I
almost started to cry. "I've never done any of these things!"
"Why not?"
A surprising question. I turned to look behind me, and found I was
looking straight into her eyes. They were quite serious, curious,
not at all scornful. I couldn't answer her. Because I'm a real
man, not a sissy? Because the idea scared me? Would pretending to
be a woman scare a real man? Any answer declared that I was either
a wannabe sissy or a pathetic wimp! So I said nothing.
There was one pathetic wimp in our circle we saw socially now and
then, and I'd always felt sorry for him. In fact just the previous
week Kate's best friend Claire had brought him to dinner with her
-- they were married. Claire is a strong-minded, no-nonsense
doctor where they both work, stunning and self-assured, and Wilmer
looks to be her complete opposite -- he's good-looking enough,
and well-built, but very quiet, even timid. I think he's an
accountant. And Claire keeps him that way. Wilmer spoke up only
twice all evening and she put him down both times, and he looked
apologetic both times.
After they left we talked about mismatched couples. Kate thought
Wilmer an interesting choice in a man for a dynamic woman like
Claire. "She likes to be in charge, I suppose," she said.
"There's something to say for that."
I thought so too. "I guess Claire likes wearing the pants. Or
maybe she enjoys Wilmer so much from the waist down -- he looks
pretty fit, physically -- that she doesn't mind any deficiencies
higher up."
Kate started to say something about that, then lapsed silent.
But now, I thought, she's surely thinking I'm another Wilmer! Oh,
God!
Suddenly she came around in front of me and pushed my keyboard to
one side and turned and leaned her round rump onto the edge of my
desk and then lifted up and sat down right where the keyboard had
been. There just under my face was her crotch, covered by her
tight jeans, the deep crease between her legs visible despite the
heavy denim. Her labia may have been swollen the whole length of
her slit. Was she excited about something? I couldn't take my
eyes off that crease. Was the denim dark there, because she was a
little wet?
Now her body was blocking the screen. "Never mind these games you
like to play with your imagination," she said. "Let's see what
you're really capable of doing. Do you really want to be my
submissive sissy girl, Annie honey? To do everything I tell you?
Let's say I want you to kiss my pussy, right there where you're
staring? Would you want to?"
There was safety in honesty. "Yes."
"But would you do it? Kiss it just the way it is, just because I
tell you to? I've had no shower all day, and there's sweat and who
knows what other kinds of dried moisture down there, maybe even
some pee that never got wiped away. And who knows what else right
now." She wiggled her bottom on the desk a few times, tempting me.
I thought about it. We'd never done any oral sex, just a lick and
a promise once, right after we'd both showered and gotten into bed.
She didn't seem to want it, at least from me. So this was a test
of some kind.
"Yes," I said.
"What if I've just been with another man, and haven't had time to
clean myself up. Would you kiss me there anyhow? Like right now?"
Now she was playing with me. There haven't been any other men.
There couldn't have been. "Have you been?" I asked.
"That's not the question. The question is, would you if I told you
to? Now that you're worried, why don't you ask me to let you kiss
my pussy? Are you afraid to ask, sissy girl!"
"Please, Kate," I blurted out desperately, trying to show her I was
a man, not afraid to ask. "May I kiss your pussy?" There it still
was, that magical crease curving down below her pelvic mound.
"Please, who?"
I thought a moment. I knew she was a quick study, and I couldn't
be sure what she'd absorbed while she was surfing her way through
"Sissify." So I went all out. "Please, Mistress Kate, may I kiss
your beautiful cunt? Please?"
"Maybe," she replied.
She sounded as if she were enjoying this new teasing game. I
didn't dare look up and break the spell. It isn't polite to look
directly at your Mistress's face when you are being dominated.
"Annie, I don't think I want you to call me "Mistress," except
maybe when I need to be strict with you. But you can't call me
'Kate' any more. It isn't respectful from a sissy-girl. "'Kate'
is for an equal, for a boyfriend or a girlfriend. And you aren't
my boyfriend right now, and you aren't my girlfriend either. Not
yet. So you'd better call me 'Ms. Katherine' or 'Ma'am' until
you're one or the other. Are you willing to serve me
unquestioningly, Annie dear? To do everything I tell you? To be
mine? For me to own you?"
I was absolutely entranced! This was too good to be true! Here
was my actual girlfriend playing my favorite fantasy game, and I
never knew she even knew about that kind of thing! Maybe we could
stretch this out through the entire weekend? "Oh, Yes, Ms.
Katherine!" I replied. I glanced quickly up, then shyly back down
to her crotch again. She was indeed grinning broadly to herself,
delighted about something, and from the gleam in her eyes I could
see that her mind was racing away at a mile a minute! "Yes,
Ma'am!," I repeated for emphasis.
"Everything? I mean it, Andy! I really mean it! Are you sure you
don't want to back away!"
What could she have in mind? I didn't care! I was ecstatic!
"Yes, Ms. Katherine."
"Then in token of your new servile status you may touch your nose
and mouth to my pussy and sniff me once, and then kiss me through
my jeans. Later maybe I'll let you smell my naked slit and lick up
anything you find there, if you can prove you're really sincere,
and if you do everything I ask. Not yet."
She paused for a moment. I could tell that all kinds of switches
were closing on plans in her head. "Then, Annie dear, I want you
to go up to our bedroom and strip yourself naked and wait for me to
join you there. I need to make some arrangements down here before
we continue with this."
I hesitated. Had she finished speaking?
"I should have known about this streak in you, Andy, or now you're
'Annie,' aren't you? But I can't say I've ever suspected it!
Well! It couldn't be more convenient!"
I waited.
"Go on, go ahead! Hurry up! Kiss me, then upstairs quickly, and
wait! I'll want to look through other files in this computer of
yours, too, and see what else has been on your mind. I want to see
what else you like to think constitutes the good life."
So I closed my eyes and leaned forward and nuzzled her crotch. The
denim was in fact damp, with a faint end-of-day body odor, like
perspiration, a little sour, and a little musky, but nothing
specific. I pushed my face deep into her, then kissed her gently.
She responded by pushing her pussy back into my face ever so
slightly, just once, as if nodding in acknowledgement.
Then not daring to look at her again I stood up and ran out of the
room, up into our bedroom, and I stripped down. I was still
terribly embarrassed, but now also terribly excited, and I had this
incredible boner, the biggest and hardest I've ever had! Nothing
like this had happened between us in the whole time we'd been
living together, nearly two years! It had started out as a pairing
of convenience, I had the whole house and she had money to share
the rent. Then it quickly become a bedding down of convenience too
-- we liked each other and we got on, and we slept together
whenever either of us wanted to. Then after a while it looked as
if we were going steady. She had other friends, and I did too, and
we had no specific understandings and made no exclusive claims on
each other, but there we were. Little by little my other really
intimate relationships dropped away. Kate worked long hours, days
and nights sometimes, and she took a girl's night out with Claire
or some other woman from work now and then, to unwind with them.
But otherwise we'd become a close couple.
Not long ago I realized that I was in love with her. I couldn't
stop thinking about her. She's tall, with smooth dark hair that
just barely curls in to hug her neck above her shoulders, and huge
eyes and wide cheekbones, always with a grave but gentle expression
on her face, and she always moves gracefully, perfectly
self-assured. She's everything feminine I'd ever wanted! And she
has this positive way about her, touched with playfulness. I
realized I'd do anything for her!
So I finally got up the nerve and asked her to marry me. I wanted
us to go on forever. She'd never suggested to me that she felt the
same way about me, but she listened to me carefully, I thought
affectionately, and then quietly she'd told me she'd let me know.
It might take some time, there were things she wanted to think
about, she said, but her answer for now was not 'No' and I'd have
to be content with that.
But now, I thought despairing as I sat on the bed naked, waiting
for her, the odds for a 'Yes' had dropped to zero. My cock shrank
down.
After a long half-hour, maybe more, she came into the bedroom. In
between I heard her make a couple of phone calls, and mutter some
things in a low voice, and share a laugh with someone at the other
end once, someone female I figured because she finished the
conversation squealing in delight and giggling about something I
couldn't quite make out. I was sitting on the bed waiting for her
as ordered. No big deal, we'd seen each other in the buff almost
from the moment she moved in. It was a matter of convenience, two
people living together and sleeping together and working odd hours.
She shut the door behind her. "I see you haven't learned some of
the things I've learned while scanning your interesting little
collection of smut. First of all, what does a sexual inferior say
when he's been permitted to kiss his Lady's private parts? You
came here without a word."
"Thank you, Ms. Katherine," I instantly replied, making a mental
note never to forget that courtesy when we next got to play this
game together.
"Do you know how to curtsy when you say that, sissy girl?"
I stood up and tried. Right foot back, hands at sides, bend the
other knee, and bow. Or something like that.
"And how does a sissy await a Mistress when she's told him to wait
for her?"
I immediately fell to my knees and pushed my forehead into the shag
rug that covered the floor. My cock became hard again, crammed
between my belly and my thighs.
"That's better," she said.
Then for ten more minutes, not a word from her. She went into her
closet and rustled among the clothes hangers, and she opened a
locked cabinet where she kept different things related to her work,
and closed it again, and she hummed to herself for a minute or two,
I imagined she was doing something that didn't require her full
attention. I heard her sit down on the bed behind me, and I
worried that now I was presenting my backside to her, high up in
the air, mooning her. That didn't seem very respectful. But I
didn't dare raise my head or change my position.
"Annie dear."
My penis gave a little leap at that, and I settled in to listen
very carefully, eager to play the submissive some more with her!
"I told you before that I was going to test your sincerity. I mean
really test it. What I have in mind is not a game, though I'm sure
you still think it is. I hope you'll like the new relationship I
have in mind, and that afterward you'll truly appreciate what I've
done. If you do, we may even end up married after all!"
My heart bounded up at that, and I felt it beat powerfully inside
me! Hope!
"But not everything a sissy girl ends up doing is necessarily what
she expected or wanted to do in the first place, is it, Annie?"
"No, Ma'am," I muttered, my mouth muffled by the thick shag rug.
My knees were grateful for that rug at the moment. Kate apparently
had a plan now fully ripened in her mind. Did it include whipping,
or torture? I wasn't into pain of any kind, as my knees already
testified. I hoped not. It surely involved the entire weekend the
way I'd hoped, because she'd said "afterward," and talked about how
we'd "end up." Maybe even married!
"I saw from all those stories you read downstairs what turns you
on. Not cruelty, but humiliation. You really want to feel
yourself being transformed into a woman. Any of your usual manly
pride or dignity has to be melted down, made to feel uncomfortable,
even intolerable, so you'll be eager to collaborate with me as I
reshape you into what I want. That's what assures me you'll obey
me in everything, isn't it? That my way becomes the course of
least resistance for you. Not what you think my way ought to be,
and not your way. My way!"
Kate had this incredible ability to get to the heart of things! I
was enthralled! "Yes, Ms. Katherine," I said. "That's it
exactly!"
"Your opinion whether I'm exact or not is not welcome, Annie!" Kate
snapped. "I asked you for a simple 'yes'!"
I cringed even further into the shag rug, my mouth now filling with
the yarn, but I dared not lift my head. "Yes, Ma'am," I said
muffled.
"And you know from your stories that sissy submissives often get
more than they bargained for, don't they? Mistresses go much
further than their slaves mean for them to go, don't they? That's
where the excitement comes in, doesn't it? From feeling that
things are out of control, that control has passed from your
desires to hers, that you're now helpless to resist her desires,
that you've made yourself her creature. Don't bother to answer
this time. I know this is so."
I writhed for just a moment to try to dislodge my mouthful of shag
rug. It was effectively gagging me. But since my forehead had to
stay plastered to the floor, my mouth filled all the more.
"All right, Annie, you've been warned. You know now that I
understand not just the rituals of this game you want to play, but
its soul. And that I understand your soul! That if you are to be
my servant, you'll be my kind of servant, not your kind. My slave.
That I'll possess you absolutely. And I mean for life!"
She paused. Was she talking about marriage? No, not exactly. Now
I felt genuinely frightened. But so deliciously! She said she'd
go even further than I'd dreamed! Was she serious? I really
couldn't tell. But that's the way this game had to be played! She
had such a marvelous instinct for it! I was so absolutely
convinced she fully meant everything she said!
In the stories I'd read, whenever a sex-slave accepts his status,
his Lady padlocks a leather collar around his neck, engraved with
her name. Something like that. I waited for Kate to suggest
something like that. And that's what she did next!
"Now Annie, you know that sissies owned by their Ladies always
agree to wear some kind of symbol of their servitude. It's always
more or less permanent, not easily removed. I want you to wear my
symbol every hour of every day, at work, at home, in the shower, in
bed, everywhere."
I was positively enraptured! Just as I'd always hoped! Sweet
juices rose into my distended prick! In my extreme crouch,
squeezed between my pelvis and my thighs, it was perilously close
to exploding, and in buckets! I had to distract myself! I tried
paying not-too-close attention to Kate's words, but it was hard.
I'd been dreaming of this moment much of my life! Would Kate now
fasten a dog collar around my neck? Wrap leather thongs around my
genitals? Lock a chastity tube onto my cock? I was trembling!
"Now Annie, you are going to wear a special pledge to me that's
unmistakable! So you'll never forget who owns you, and how I own
you, and for what! I know you still have to function in the real
world, so it won't be too visible to the casual eye. In most
circumstances you'll be able to hide it. It won't be part of the
way the world sees you, or how you think they see you. Not unless
I tell you to reveal it, as I probably will soon, not right away.
So for now it'll be something just between us, and of course anyone
I may choose to tell about it. You'll feel too ashamed to tell
anyone about it at first, I'm sure, too humiliated. Until you've
re-centered your identity and become what I want you to be. Then
you'll feel proud of it, and then I know you'll want to display it
openly."
Mysterious! Not some kind of cock-binder? A very thin slave
collar to wear under button-down dress shirts at the office? An
ear ring in a pierced ear? She seems to expect I'll wear it all
the time. Well, all right, clearly she doesn't mean to disgrace me
with anything obvious, some massive restraint on my neck or my
ankle that would raise embarrassing questions. She wasn't cruel.
I felt utterly devoted to Kate at that moment. She knew my needs,
and I knew she wouldn't betray them!
"Once again, Andy! 'Andy' for the last time. Think of this as the
most crucial moment of your life! It is for me too, because
whether you know it or not, and I'm sure you don't, you here on
your face with your ass in the air in absolute surrender to me
happens to be just perfect for me! It solves a big problem I've
had for some time! So! Andy, do you accept my guidance in all
things from now on. As you would put it, will you obey me as your
Domme, or Mistress, or Dominatrix, or Lady, whatever you call such
women? As your owner? Do you offer me your most precious gift,
your absolute obedience? Whether or not I choose to care, or even
seem grateful? Am I the one person you will love, honor, and obey,
and have and hold in sickness and health for as long as you live?"
Was she marrying me? Was she agreeing to marry me? No, but I was
delighted anyhow. In her mind I was marrying her! That's half of
it!
Now she was silent, waiting patiently for my answer. All this only
an hour or two after she'd walked into my study and discovered my
secret fantasy life! What other sexual games could she conceive
for next weekend, or whenever we both became weary of this one, I
wondered. What an incredible woman!
"Yes, Ma'am," I remembered to say despite my excitement. "Yes, Ms.
Katherine. Yes, my Lady! I do!"
"I heard you, but this is important, so I want to ask you yet
again. And to warn you yet again. For the third and final time,
Andy. I have in mind some things you may love in fantasy but not
like in reality at all. Not until you become the creature of *my*
fantasy. Are you willing?"
Pain? Torture? I hoped not. Fabulous tests of endurance, of my
devotion to her, of my ability to hold up under enormous hardships
for her sweet sake? I'd love that! I loved her!
"Yes, Ms. Katherine, I am willing!" I finally managed to say it!
I never felt more excited in my life! My heart pounded! I was
near fainting! "Please! Whatever you wish!"
And suddenly a rich joy rose up unbidden and uncontrollable from
deep in my groin into the base of my prick! I couldn't help it!
I felt a ravishing tension rise up in my bowels and become a
rainbow glow, and suffuse itself through all of that part of me
thrust closest to her, filling my thighs with exquisite bliss. My
ass clenched and quivered over and over, and then a glory spilled
out into a rapturous spurt after spurt of hot cum squirting all
over my belly and chest and even in splats into my mouth, crammed
as it now was with yarn from the shag rug! My penis was so
squeezed so tight now between my thighs that I couldn't feel its
spasmodic throbbing, but I felt my body go incandescent! The
entire lower part of me went into orgasm!
Which may be why I felt nothing at all from Kate at that moment.
I expected her to fasten the collar, or attach a lasso to my balls
and lead me away for binding.
She did no such thing. In fact she didn't even know I'd just
enjoyed the greatest climax of my life. As the glow subsided I
realized that the whole grand process had been hidden in the deep
folds of my belly and thighs, and my cum wasn't evident anywhere
just yet.
She merely resumed speaking. But this time I heard a note of
elation in her voice, even though she was trying to maintain the
same controlled tone she'd used earlier. Not casual, though a
touch negligent. Firm, the voice a Mistress should use when
speaking to her servant. But now it also sounded exultant.
"Annie, there is no going back now. You're already changing! The
two pricks you just felt in your rear end were two intramuscular
injections to help get the process under way the moment I had your
fully informed consent, tape recorded and repeated three times."
"Both injections are long term. One will really sissify you as
rapidly as medicine knows how. It will pump estrogen estradiol and
progesterone and certain androgen suppressants into your body for
the next two weeks. Then after we evaluate your body's response to
the dosage we'll implant patches in you so the process can continue
and finish without anyone giving it further thought. It will give
you a girl's way of thinking and feeling, and many characteristics
of a girl's body. You're going to be a girl in your body, not just
in your mind."
"The other shot was a tranquilizer-sedative, the kind we give to
patients undergoing minor surgical procedures. I want to keep you
mellowed out for the next few days, peaceably asleep, because I
want you to remember this initiation with joy, with no associated
pain or soreness. When you awaken, you'll be fitted with your
pledge to me, my symbol of ownership. I've just arranged it with
Claire, and she'll be here shortly to help me fit it properly. For
now only you will know it's there, though you'll never be able to
forget it's there. Until you want everyone to know, and that will
be much sooner than you imagine."
"Annie, you are a dear! You'll know soon enough how very dear you
are to me! When you wake up." Then she added, "Poor sweetie, you
never did get to lick my pussy clean. Well, it'll be here, and
you'll have lots of opportunities."
I remember she said all that, and that it felt increasingly good
that she was saying all those things. What was her "symbol"?
Maybe body piercings? Maybe a ring in my "frenum," whatever that
was? Despite all that talk about shots and changing and all,
everything she said was deeply satisfying, and I felt utterly
content as I rolled over onto my side on the shag rug, asleep.
The next morning I opened my eyes. No! The calendar clock on our
night table said I'd been asleep for three days! So three mornings
later I woke up to sunshine flooding the room.
"There you are, Annie honey!" Kate said, drawing back the last
curtain. Now the light seemed nearly blinding. "I'm on call now
and I've just been called, but I'll be back to see how you're
getting on in about two hours. Today is the first day of the rest
of your life, honey, and believe me, that's not a cliche. You'll
lead a very different life from now on. Just lie there and rest.
Your incisions are practically healed already, and you've been
completely depillated, and now there's nothing much for you to do
but enjoy discovering the new you."
She came over and stood over me. Gradually I remembered. Kate.
She'd found out I was into humiliation fantasies, loss of
masculinity and so on, caught me reading files in Sissify.Com. And
she'd taken over, she owned me. I stared up at her, still unable
to find words to speak. The weekend was over? That must have been
some scene, I thought! Where was I while we played it out? Then
I remembered that talk about tranquilizers, and sedatives, and not
feeling sore.
"Ah, I see you're with us again. Lie still a little longer.
Remember, you're mine now, and you are not to put anything of mine
at risk. I want you to discover how I own you all by yourself, and
when you do I want you to just lie there and do nothing but think
about what it means. You pledged yourself to me, remember."
I lifted my arms to inspect them, and finding nothing, reached down
toward my crotch.
"No, there are no tattoos, and nothing fastened down there either.
And no body parts missing. And nothing buckled or embossed or
inscribed or punctured or pierced. What you're wearing is
implanted, its now part of you. What I want for you. In time they
will become what you want. Understood?"
I nodded.
She left, closing the door gently. I lay there for a moment to
gather more of my wits. Then I rolled over to climb out of bed.
I saw I was wearing one of her frilly nighties with puffed out
sleeves. She had a few, though mostly she wore oversized T-Shirts
to bed. My own PJ's were all in the wash? This nightgown was left
over from some feminization game we'd played while I was zonked, I
guessed. My arms were hairless, absolutely smooth! My legs felt
that way too! Well, I hoped she'd enjoyed the game! I felt sorry
it was probably over.
Still leaning on one elbow and raised up, I felt a sort of pulling
on my torso, as if something were hanging from me. A fold of the
nightgown? No. Flesh that had been spread out across my chest
while I lay on my back was now hanging down heavily from me in the
form of two heavy pouches tipped with nipples, the nipples
distended and brushing against the bed. Breasts. They were
breasts.
My breasts! Large ones! Two of them! I stared unbelieving and
abruptly put my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Then I
just sat there! With my shoulders slumped forward they sagged,
though my skin was just firm enough to support them. Through the
neckline of Kate's nightgown I could see their curves -- they were
soft, hanging breasts! I pulled my shoulders back, and they became
ripe, rounded globes jutting away from me, their areolas and
nipples like small brown teacups projecting outward. I reached to
heft one. Heavy! My fingers touched one of my nipples and a
delicious tingle shot through me, spreading down to my crotch. I
touched the other nipple. The same! O God, it felt so good! But
I was a man! These were a woman's breasts! This wasn't one of my
fantasies! Maybe one of Kate's, but not mine! Well yes, having
breasts had been one of my fantasies, but not in reality! Kate
wasn't playing just for the weekend! Had she tried to warn me of
that?
She had! These were these the badges of my servitude. Kate meant
to disintegrate my manhood, to really change me into a female. So
it seemed. She'd said as much, I vaguely recalled. And I'd been
so eager to submit to her! Now, by daylight it didn't seem to be
as good an idea. I glanced down further, and felt momentarily
reassured that my cock and balls were still there.
I picked up a breast in each hand and then dropped them. They each
jounced once, then hung there. Implants. Huge. Part of me. They
were there all right. But they weren't mine. I was theirs. And
they belonged to Kate. She wanted me to take care of them for her.
I held each in my hands again, gently this time, and stroked their
nipples again with my thumbs. The most delectable feeling rose up
in my groin, deep, sultry, luscious, as erotic as if my penis were
being squeezed and stroked. Yet it stayed soft. I just sat there
and caressed my new self with my thumbs. It felt good!
ii.
After a while, not quite as shaken as when I first sat up, I looked
across the room. There on a chair within easy reach was a luminous
blue satin dressing gown, a brighter shade than Kate usually wore,
and a large, heavy-duty bra. Then as if to make up for the
utilitarian massiveness of the bra, a teeny pair of delicate rose
lace hi-leg panties. And a note.
I sat back on the bed and opened the note. Kate was going all out
-- the paper was perfumed, that floral scent I remembered from
before she went to work at the clinic, that she still wore when we
went out somewhere fancy. I breathed it in and opened the note,
and read:
* * *
"My Darling Annie, or if it's Andy reading this, my poor bewildered
Andy. First, I want to remind you, whichever you are, that you are
*mine*, not your own person. You pledged yourself to me knowing
that I intended to do things you might not like, however deeply a
desire for some them might be implanted in your psyche. I think
you know now what I intend. I intend to make a woman of you. A
real one, not a simpering transvestite concoction of one, which is
probably all you'd have managed to make of yourself without me, and
not a Drag Queen either. But also, not the kind of woman you'd be
if you'd been born a girl and raised in the same circumstances
you've enjoyed as a boy, not a restrained, educated professional
woman. Not even a woman like me, more venturesome than you are,
more of a take-charge kind of person. No, someone different.
"Brace yourself, darling. I want you to become my kind of woman,
the kind I'd love to spend time with, and go out with, and make
love with. And date men with. The kind I find exciting, as you've
never been as a man. Impulsive. Playful, even silly at times.
Instinctive and generous, warm hearted. Physical in many ways,
most of them feminine -- tender and demonstrative when you feel
affectionate, which will be often, and sexy when you feel a
yearning for that kind of pleasure, also often. Not too inhibited.
In fact, a little smutty in pursuit of your pleasures. The kind of
girl men are happy to find they've been fixed up with on a blind
date, because attractive at first glance. The kind men remember
the next day with smiles on their faces. And don't be shocked
dear. The kind of girl women can remember the next day with
smiles. The kind I've always wanted to remember with smiles.
"If that isn't you now, and I know it isn't, that's what will be
you. You are mine. I've always wanted that kind of girlfriend, so
that's the kind of girl you will become. You'll try with all your
heart, soul, and might to become that girl. I know you will. You
have no other future.
"When you've succeeded, when you like being that kind of girl, then
you can be my friend as well as my servant, and we can enjoy that
relationship too. You are already married to me, as you know. I
may then be willing to marry you. But only then. We'll see.
"Love,
Ms. Katherine
P.S. You see in front of you the first intimate wear of the kind
you will wear for the rest of your life, your first bra and
panties. Congratulations, sweetheart. Also a rather lively gown,
the kind Annie will soon love to wear as the truest expression of
her own lively nature. I'm sorry the bra looks something like a
washer woman's, but your breasts, your pledge of servitude to me,
need that kind of support right now. I've tried to make up for it
by giving you panties a whore might blush to wear. Put them all
on, and splash some of my cologne on too, and some matching scuffs
from my closet. While you wait for me to return I want you to
begin browsing through some of the women's magazines I've
accumulated downstairs, ads and all. They're your kind of
magazines now. They're the sole occupation of your mind from now
on."
* * *
With my nightie off I saw Kate was true to her word, the only
fringe of hair anywhere on my body was neatly trimmed around my
pubes -- the rest was smooth. I dressed as Ms. Katherine ordered.
The bra felt heavy on my shoulders until I realized the weight was
in my hanging tits, eased when I remembered to stand up very
straight. But then they protruded out, way too far forward. I
doubted even a loose sports jackets would cover them, much less a
tailored suit jacket. How would I go to work? With a weight on my
shoulders, or else with a lot of explaining. The panties were
indeed teeny, designed to curve below the curve of my belly and
across the curves of my buns. I didn't have a woman's sexily
rounded buns yet, but I knew I'd get them, if not by hormones then
by more implants. Kate would see to it.
I inspected myself in the mirror, and I saw a man with straight
long hair -- that's how I liked it -- wearing a large bra and
skimpy scanties. Boobs nicely proportioned for his shoulders,
which were a little large. The breasts would swell up even more
when the hormones got hold of them, I realized, no doubt as part of
Kate's plan for me to look like a sex pot at anyone's first glance.
Waist a bit thick -- I should diet. Then I realized that was a
girl's thought, Kate's scheme was getting to me. Hips narrow, but
that's true of some women, I knew. Big bulge in my panties so far,
thank God! Could I become the kind of girl Kate wanted? Possibly,
with diet and the right makeup and gear. And the right temperament.
It could be fun. My face was small-featured, and I had an
unassertive chin I'd always regretted. Now I could see it was a
dainty chin. Or might become one. Did I want to become Kate's
kind of girl? Did I have a choice?
I wriggled my hips at the apparition in the mirror, and immediately
felt silly, even indecent. So I took a full-figured blouse and a
wide skirt out of Kate's closet almost without looking at them, and
I put them on. The bottom of the skirt brushed my calves
delicately. The blouse was short sleeved and nylon or something,
so when I put the satin dressing gown on over it I felt incredibly
slippy all over, like wearing liquid. With another glance in the
mirror I saw that its bright iridescent blue seemed to light up the
room. That's me, life of the party, I thought ruefully, and went
down to the living room.
There I picked up a copy of "Cosmopolitan." I noticed immediately
that my breasts were already larger than on most of the women
photographed in that magazine, even the "Cosmo" girl. I started
reading an article on how to keep *him* interested in asking you
out again. Some of the advice was excellent -- ask him to tell you
about himself, and admire anything you can that he's accomplished
-- I wished girls would do that for me. I wished girls had done
that for me. I realized that I was expected to do that, now. But
a pang of panic struck my midriff! With guys? No, I wouldn't! I
was Kate's!
Some of the advice was practical -- "If he seems excited to be with
you, help him sustain that level of excitement by caressing him in
sensitive areas. You can find out quickly enough if he's sized to
your needs. And being kissed by a smooth, wet, deep mouth is sure
to please him!"
Now I shuddered. To kiss a man? Did Kate mean that? Before this
was over did she want me satisfying men with hand jobs? Worse,
with blow jobs? Real ones on real men, not idle fantasies?
Swallowing real cum? "Smutty" was what my Mistress wanted, and
she'd see to it that's what she made me! Even more, would I as a
woman need to let men -- I tried to imagine it and couldn't, and
felt a little queasy -- enter me?
And pump me? And cum in me? Deep inside me? Oh my God!
That was as much as I could take. There had to be a way out of
this! This was only a game, a scene we were playing, and I was
taking it too seriously! Then I realized I had no safe word. Kate
had started me off with the injected hormones and breast implants
so the road back would be harder than the path of least resistance,
so I'd go with whatever she wanted, like it or not, and learn to
like it. I was already part way where she wanted me. Dressed like
a courtesan and reading up on how to get laid.
I decided to read the ads instead of all the distressing
no-brainers on "How to Get Real Hunky Men to Fuck You Senseless"
There were hundreds of ads for make-up! Eye liner and shadow and
pencil and mascara in varying shades were individually mysterious,
and as I realized when I studied page after page of superbly
blended eyes on gorgeous models, how those powders and brushes and
pencils could create the mysterious seductiveness of those eyes was
beyond any male comprehension. I'd never learn how to use them!
Still, I had to please Kate until I could persuade her somehow to
give up her plan for me but marry me anyhow -- my only apparent way
out. Applied Lipstick looked like a course I could teach myself.
I read an article on the new shades, and figured out the uses of
lip liners and upper-lip shaping, went back to our bedroom, and
applied a dark maroon to my mouth. That would show Kate that I was
trying.
Now a glance into the mirror revealed a man in a bright blue satin
gown wearing lipstick. Neatly, though. I went down again and read
on, wondering why I wasn't getting increasingly resentful. Was I
really a wimp? Look what she had done to me! Did I really want
it? I suspected there were more tranquilizers in me than I knew.
A few hours later Kate returned. I was back at the computer when
she arrived, originally to get some more advice from Sissify.Com
about make-up and how to cope with my new situation, but now
looking at different e-mailed reactions to the report I'd turned
in. I saw I had to go into the office to talk to some associates.
"Looking for some new games to play, Annie?" she said when she saw
me staring at the screen. "Remember you're my plaything now, and
I make up all our games. Any time you forget that, just fold your
arms across your chest to remind yourself."
"No, this is business," I said a little morosely. "I have to talk
to some people downtown. Tomorrow." I turned around and stared at
her. I was now in no mood to play, but realized that for a servant
I had spoken out of line. "Ms. Katherine, Ma'am?" There was a
faint edge of sarcasm in my voice. "Do I have to kowtow to you all
the time from now on? Can't we just talk?"
She didn't seem to mind my asking. "Any time there are other
people present, certainly we can just talk, Andy honey. Then we'll
talk the way we've always talked. Of course you'll always agree
with everything I say, and I look forward to hearing the reasons
you'll give for agreeing with some of my the things I'll say.
I'll say some outrageous things sometimes, just to keep you in
line. At first you'll agree with me any way you can, but when
you've become the woman I want, I'm sure you'll agree with me
sincerely."
"When nobody's around it'll always be different. I'll expect you
to remember your place and my place, and to address me
appropriately. This is a process, a journey, and we're only just
beginning. When you finally arrive where I mean to take you, when
you're the kind of girl I want you to be, then maybe we'll talk as
equals sometimes. I expect that by then you'll be so pleased with
yourself you'll want to thank me. Are you resenting me a little
right now?"
I hesitated. "Yes, Ms. Katherine" was all I said.
She stared at me a moment. "I appreciate your honesty. And also
your effort to please me by wearing lipstick. You did a good job
there for your first time. The shade's a bit too maroon for the
color of your robe, but you'll learn about things like that." She
smiled. "That's the favorite shade of a girl I went with my last
year in college. I loved seeing her lips that color while they
tugged on my nipples and nibbled on my clit. I'll love seeing
yours there too. If you really like it, we'll build your outfits
around it, honey. It's still fashionable."
Kate a Lesbian when she was in college? No, probably experimental,
bisexual. And now me too?
Then Kate commented further. "That's a pretty blouse you picked
out, even though I didn't ask you to. I'm glad you like it. It's
yours now, and I think that's what you'll wear when you go to your
office tomorrow for your meetings. Just a touch of lace on the
collar ends, and it billows beautifully, so no one has to know
about your new breasts. They're a 'C' cup now, incidentally. Your
hormones will soon make you at least one size large still, really
a knockout, though of course we don't want to overdo anything."
She waited. "Yes, Ms. Katherine," I replied. What else was there
to say? The humiliations were beginning? She was punishing me for
my lack of enthusiasm earlier that I was being turned into her slut
girlfriend? What else she was planning to do to me?
"When you go in for your conference, select a nice gold chain for
a necklace and wear that too, tucked under that collar, so no one
can miss seeing the lace. I don't care how you explain the blouse
and chain if anyone asks, but I think afterward you'll feel a
little more grateful to me for what I'm doing. Remember, you
agreed to all of this, wholeheartedly and repeatedly. And I saw
when we were prepping you for your breast implants that you had
sealed your agreement with an orgasm all on your own!"
I swallowed hard. "Yes, Ms. Katherine," I said a lot more
sincerely.
She waved her hand to say that gratitude was unnecessary. "Don't
worry about what people think. If you feel like it, flash your
tits at anyone who mocks you. They're real conversation-stoppers
already, those breasts, believe me. Some women would kill for a
figure like the one you're going to have. Finish up the project
you're on, and then turn in your two-weeks notice, and tell them
you're taking off those two weeks as accrued sick leave. I need to
change you utterly, Annie, and I can't do that if you're spending
all your days in some cubicle worrying about people who have
nothing better to do than insult you for obeying me."
"Yes, Ma'am."
"That's better. You should know that one more insolent innuendo in
your responses would have sent you to work tomorrow in a skirt too.
Any questions?"
"Yes, Ma'am. How will we get by without my salary?"
"Don't worry your pretty little head about that, Andy honey," she
said. "Maybe you'll work for me in the Clinic. We need to make
our records more accessible. You can do that for us. Maybe later
on I'll get you to turn tricks -- it would help you develop the
right kind of sluttish personality. Which reminds me, we need to
make your pretty little head pretty as soon as possible, so you can
begin being a girl in public right away without disgracing either
of us. Learn by doing! So day after tomorrow we get you a new
hair style and makeover."
The next day's meetings were arduous, but we got all the
understandings ironed out and concluded that I could fine-tune the
project completely from home in no time. I thought at first
everyone was pointing fingers at my blouse, but I suspect most
never even noticed. I suppose they thought I was affecting some
mod style, or a pirate or an 18th century grandee.
Only Becky Davis, our whiz kid from Sales, commented on it. "Very
pretty blouse, Andy," she said. "Looks just like one I once had.
I didn't know you leaned toward my taste in clothes."
I didn't know if that was a compliment or not. Becky was thin as
a plank and as starved as a model, but she wore her clothes with
great style and panache. So I looked pleasant and said nothing.
"It's so full in front you could grow tits in them and no one would
ever know," she added. "Have you thought of doing that? Have you
found yourself a boyfriend who likes big tits on guys?" So her
remark *was* intended to be an insult.
I straightened my shoulders and thrust my chest way forward, and my
bra poked unmistakable mounds into the front of the blouse. Becky
stared! "I already have grown them," I said. "You should try it
some time yourself, and get some guy interested in you for once.
Or some girl!"
It was her turn to say nothing.
When I got home Kate was stretched out on the couch in a robe,
obviously through with her own work for the day. I changed into
the skirt and medium heels she'd laid out for me, and then told her
about my interchange with Becky. She was both pleased and amused.
"See, I told you," she said. "Accept yourself for what you are,
right now a man with big boobies, and later a woman with generous
boobies, and no one can reach you. So what are you?"
"Right now I'm a man with big boobies, Ma'am, and your property."
"That's right. My sissy girl property. I'm very pleased that
you're through working downtown. Those breasts aren't a mere whim,
they're very important, they're your passage into a new life. I
mean for you to become a passable woman. It will take time and
effort, on your part especially. But there will come a moment,
you'll see, when the sissy man disappears in your own mind and the
girl of my dreams replaces him. That's where I want us to end up.
When I saw you playing girlie-girlie fantasies at that computer,
lots of things fell into place for me. You're going to become a
girl very soon. Now listen closely, Annie. Do you want to become
a girl as soon as possible?"
"Yes, Ms. Katherine," I said. I realized that wasn't enough of a
response. But I wasn't really persuaded. And I had one serious
reservation. "Ms. Katherine, may I ask you a question?"
"Yes, of course."
"Ms. Katherine, when I'm a girl, will I still have my...my...male
parts?" I was afraid to name them, for fear she'd suddenly be
reminded I wasn't already gelded, pick up the phone, and order up
a castration and penectomy to go.
She just smiled. "You poor dear. That's the last vestige of
masculinity a man reaches for, isn't it. Well, your female
hormones will soon render them useless, but you can keep them as
long as you want them. I suspect there will come a time when
you'll prefer a cunt, if only because by then you'll like being
attractive to men, and men adore cunts. When that happens we'll
have your "male parts" as you call them turned inside out into a
cunt. It's done all the time these days. Does that ease your
mind?"
"Yes, Ms. Katherine."
"Learn your girlhood lessons well, and I'll let you masturbate a
little, while that thing still provides you pleasure. On rare
occasions, when you accomplish something I find impressive, I may
even allow you to masturbate until you cum. But your main sexual
pleasure from now for a while to come will be from your new nipples
-- caress them all you want, whenever you wish. It'll help you
appreciate them. Enjoy your femininity! And right now, Annie,
it's time for you to enjoy mine. Here!"
She pulled back her robe, and I saw that she was wearing nothing
underneath. I saw the furry triangle of her crotch, and her slit.
and her creamy white thighs.
"I promised you could kiss my naked pussy. Now you shall. It's
exactly the same way it was when I brought it home from work a few
days ago, a little sweaty, a little pissy, maybe even a little
lubricated too, because feminizing you excites me. Is some man's
cum in there too? You don't know, do you? Well, you'll just have
to work it out on your own." She smiled to herself and went on,
"With your tongue. Come here and lick me now, Annie. This will be
a regular reward for you whenever I come home, as long as you do
your other work well."
She shifted her hips slightly and dropped one leg to the floor,
then raised the other high onto the back of the couch. There it
was! Her pink slit was now perched on the edge of the couch, wide
open. I fell to my knees and again buried my face in her crotch,
this time slathering my nose into its musky, fermy, sour center,
and I began to lick her. She tasted slightly acrid, but sweet, and
salty, and fishy, and creamy, and -- she was the woman I had sworn
to serve with all of the manhood in me, and now all of the
femininity too, and I began to lick and suck and tongue and kiss
her more passionately! Was there a love potion in that twat?
Really some man's cum? I didn't know! It was divine! I loved her!
My tongue probed way down and became a prehensile snake. I buried
it in her and started to tongue-fuck her.
Almost immediately she started to moan. I ran the tip of my tongue
up one edge of her slot and down the other, then up onto her clit,
and again into the center line where there lurked, I knew, a deep
and mysterious hole fit to entertain a small man's five inch prick
or a large man's fist and wrist. Then I moved back to her clit
again, where I loitered and licked and loitered and labored. She
moaned louder, and shook, and screamed, then began to make strange
animal sounding growls, and then screamed again. No woman's cunny
was ever cleaned more thoroughly or enjoyably.
When I lifted my soaked face I felt proud. "Very good, Annie
honey," she said, still breathing hard. "I knew it! You will make
the sweetest girl anyone can imagine. Next time would you wear
that dark lipstick for me? Now fix me dinner."
I did that too. It was easy. I was in love again. Before I sat
down to eat with her, I tried to make my whole face up like a
woman's, as a gift to my precious, my darling Ms. Katherine. I
failed, but she looked at it and smiled, and said nothing. That
night we slept in the same bed, and in the early morning when she
was returning from a visit to the john and the moisture of her piss
was on her like rank dew, I kissed and licked her crotch to yet
another orgasmic spasm. My own prick was pulsing fit to explode
the whole time, but she wanted me to hold back, she said, so she
could redirect my sexual energy. Toward who? Toward what? I
maintained iron control, and nothing came of it.
iii.
My first visit to a beauty salon the next day was a revelation, all
those unguents and mirrors and rollers and comb outs and blow
driers and paints and powders and pills. I assumed I'd go in my
own clothing so as not to attract attention, but the reverse was
true. Kate insisted that morning when we left the house that I
should look like the woman I was becoming.
"There will be other women there," she said, "And I don't propose
to look foolish, coming in with an obvious sissy, a man who wants
to be prettied up as a girl! I'd do that to humiliate you of
course, but you've been a sweet dear so far so there's no need for
it. You're not perfect, Annie -- you should brew my coffee darker
tomorrow when you bring me my breakfast in bed."
She waited. "Yes, Ma'am," I said.
"But I love it that you thought of breakfast in bed for me all by
yourself. And the Eggs Benedict were a nice touch. Today you'll
go to your first beauty parlor appointment already looking female,
and we'll see if you can keep up the illusion while you're there
for. For your own good."
So she had me wear my undies and a dress she picked out that showed
my breasts as distinctly large mounds thrust way forward. She
showed me it had "darts" sewn in to allow for them, and told me
I'll need to know all about such things from now on.
"Shirt Waists and unfitted tops won't do for you," she said. "No
understatement. You're a girl who believes if you've got 'em,
flaunt 'em!"
And she insisted that I wear make-up, but not brazen, just light
liner and mascara, and a pale lipstick. And that I wear my hair in
a pony-tail gathered on the crown of my head instead of as usual at
the nape.
"That's enough. If you move with dainty steps and hold your
shoulders back, you'll pass. Your beautician will know of course."
When the front door was open and I was about to step outside into
the sunlight, I suddenly felt a deep pit open in my stomach, and I
tried to move my legs -- they were in pantyhose and low heels --
but they wouldn't lift off the floor.
"Is something the matter, Annie?" Kate asked just behind me.
"I'm frightened, Ma'am," was all I could say.
"Big strong mans is frightened to look like an itty bitty girl?"
she mocked.
"No, Ms. Katherine," I said in a small voice. "I'm not a man, I'm
a sissy, who is trying to be a girl because that's what you want me
to be, and I don't want to look ridiculous. I'm afraid, yes."
There was silence. "Tell me again what you are, Annie. Several
times."
I repeated it. "I'm a sissy, trying to be a girl."
"Good! Now out the door, sissy girl. You're dressed
appropriately. Be proud of it!"
Still muttering my mantra, I stepped outside. The air felt strange
on my legs. A neighbor walking his dog glanced at us and walked
on. I felt a little easier and got into the car. Kate drove. The
same thing when we arrived. The place was full, and the
receptionist didn't even look up. "Yes," she said, checking off
my name. "Just have a seat, Annie, and Joanne will be right with
you."
We sat down, and I remembered to smooth my skirt under my bottom as
settled onto the chair. "Elbows in," Kate muttered to me as she
handed me "Beauty Culture Magazine." I glanced at the cover.
More articles for women on how to get roundly boinked. "Just the
ads, dear," she said when she saw me starting in on one. "I'll
decide when and how and whether you'll have any sex life at all."
A neat, short, cheery woman in a purple smock approached. "Annie?"
I nodded.
"I'm Joanne, sissy. Oh, don't look so mournful! This is the
nicest day of your life! Come on, Sis, over here. You can come
back for him in about four hours, Kate. We have a lot to do. But
you're right, there's a lot here to work with."
Joanne really was nice! I just sat there, and as she snipped and
poured and combed and rolled and dried and primped and called over
the nail specialist and the ear-piercing girl, she explained
everything she was doing, and in between, she told me gossip about
other customers. She knew the most intimate things!
"Now this will feel cool, but its a cream you'll use on your own
face every night from now on, Sis. Starting tonight! See how I
rub it in with circular movements, just my finger tips? Well, this
customer of mine, her name's Susan but she likes to call herself
Suzette, she's such a petite, dainty, precious little thing, and
her husband thinks her ass is made of candy. But really it's got
to be cast iron, because every afternoon while he's off at the
office with his clients earning the money she spends on herself,
she's home in his bed with three, four, five guys from the Truck
Depot. Big guys, my dear, and every day! She likes toofers, one
in her butt and one in her pussy, you know? Lean back, dear. I
don't know why she's never been crushed when they hump up against
each other with her in between. Well, she told me she was giving
up toofers for Lent, but these guys bring each other over to her
house, and if a newcomer wants in while the other's pumping away in
her, she never says no. She says afterward she feels like a sewer
with all that jism puring out of her. She loves it! And her hubby
still thinks she's practically a virgin, he never suspects
anything! See how I brush it, Sis, up from the neck, never down?
You'll do that every morning. Then I hear Mrs. Eldridge is getting
divorced, but not from her husband...."
So the time passed.
I emerged that first time a blonde, with darling little curls
clustered all over my head and the sweetest tendrils pulled down in
front of my ears to soften my face -- that was what Kate taught me
say right then and there when she returned and smiled her approval.
My nails were long and red and I had been taught how to keep them
that way. My eyes were deeply shaded from their black liner and
heavy mascara through to their blue shadows on my lids and their
silvery gray highlights under my brows. It was as complex a
procedure as I'd imagined when In was first looking at the cosmetic
ads, but Joanne taught me the basics and a few tricks. And Kate
loved the effect -- I looked wide-eyed and bright-eyed, staring
everywhere at the world as if a little perplexed. "Perfect!" she
said when she saw that!
During the next few days I learned to do day and night versions of
eye-look on my own, until I could fix any defect even while still
at the table of any restaurant, with only a slight flourish of a
wand. My beard had disappeared during the three days that endowed
me with breasts, electrolysized out of existence while I was asleep
on tranquilizers and sedatives. So almost immediately my face
became what Kate wanted, cute, sprightly, doll-like, the face of a
girl who is amusing but not threatening, maybe a girl who'd be a
challenge to get into bed but one who might be hard to stop once
she got there. She kept training me to look fascinated by anything
said to me. And to make perky little movements. And to smile and
look a little grateful and a little hungry when I was complimented.
By the third week I took great pride and pleasure in the fact that
I could maintain my looks by myself. We shopped whenever Kate
could spare the time, and I had lots to wear. She always chose
clothes that were slightly brassy and provocative. My new bras and
panties were strange lacy whisps of things with oddly shaped
openings, mostly from Fredericks of Hollywood, "just this side of
whorish, Annie, because that's how you'll want to feel." Each day
she had me walk about only in my underthings and high heels for a
few hours, so I'd always see myself wearing them in my own mind no
matter what I was wearing on top. My blouses and dresses and
skirts were a little tight. "They're for showing off your body to
strangers," she said, so she had me practice sashaying through
malls and parking lots in clinging clothes with hips that moved
like a pendulum, and I got used to being stared at. Even began to
like it!
I practiced my high voice -- she wanted a near falsetto from me,
though many women don't talk that way, and lots of tonal range.
Each day after I'd moved my bowels she had me use a "Summer's Eve"
douche down there, and then work my finger into my anus coated with
KY jelly. "A girl can't be too dainty down below," was all she
said in explanation. "And besides, doesn't your finger feel nice
moving around in there?" It was a fact, once past the anus my
colon felt silky to the touch. The TV game shows and talk shows
and soap operas and the women's magazines began to get to me, until
by the second month of my new life when I was back at the salon for
retouching I was only one more woman leafing through style books
under the dryer and gossiping in my newly trained, slightly squeaky
voice, about nails and hemlines and unfaithful wives and cute guys
on TV.
It was clear from the start, Kate wanted me to feel kept,
dependent. Being attractive the way she wanted was the reason for
my existence, and I did work at it, very hard. I really tried! A
few times when I forgot some simple feminine thing -- I sat knees
apart when wearing a dress, or I sat knees together when I was
wearing jeans -- she would criticize me and punish me by denying me
access to her sweet, dear pussy. Around the fourth week I started
to cry when she used a rough tone with me -- I couldn't help it,