The Melinda 109 A Little Shop Story
- 4 years ago
- 25
- 0
Wednesday, January 30, 1991
By middle of January, I was feeling like I had made a mistake. By the end of January, I was quite sure I had made a big fucking mistake! Stuff was piling up around the office, not much was getting accomplished, and I was hearing rumblings among the staff. I mentioned this all to Chuck Hanson, my Chief of Staff, but he assured me it was just people settling in. Meanwhile, despite my orders not to, he kept shoveling lobbyists at me, and with no rhyme or reason. One morning he had somebody pushing ‘clean coal’ followed immediately by the Sierra Club. They ran into each other in the outer office and immediately got into a shouting match! What a clusterfuck!
The final event, to my way of thinking, occurred on Wednesday, the 30 th of January. I was in my office and about two or so, Chuck informed me my afternoon appointment was here. I glanced at my calendar book, and it had been blank. My standing orders were that anybody could write things in my schedule (within reason) but that if it wasn’t in my book, it wouldn’t get done. Back on my first go, when I was with Lefleur Homes, it was a bit of a company joke. Even after everybody started switching to PDAs and computer calendars, Carl Buckman kept his calendar book. On the plus side, I never missed anything I put in the book.
I sighed in exasperation, and bit off the complaint. “What if I had scheduled something else, or wasn’t here, because it wasn’t in the book?” Chuck would have just given me a blank stare and ignore this. I simply told him to show them in. I stood up and slipped on my suit jacket, since I had been in shirt sleeves, and wanted to look like I knew what I was doing.
Chuck opened my door and went out into the public area, and then ushered in two men, both on the large side. He introduced them. “Congressman, this is John Talbot of the American Petroleum Institute, and Morton Adrianowicz of Dunder Logan Simkins. Gentlemen, Congressman Carl Buckman.”
“Gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Please, come in.” I glanced over at Chuck and said, “Thank you, I can take it from here.”
“Are you sure, Congressman? I’d be happy to help.”
“No, that’s all right. I can handle things.” I was still irritated over the scheduling issue and wanted him away for a bit. I closed the door behind him as he left my inner office.
I showed the men over to a couch and armchair set over in the corner of my office. They shared the couch, and I sat down in the armchair. Something about the two men seemed familiar, or maybe it was just the one man, the second. The first guy was from the API, which was the lobbying group for the petroleum industry. The second guy had to be a lobbyist from one of the city’s multitudinous law firms. Still, what did these guys want with me? I had nothing whatsoever to do with oil.
“So, gentlemen, what brings you here? How can I help you?” I asked.
They looked at each other curiously, and then the first guy, John, said, “Sir? We were told you had asked to see us.”
I must have looked dumbfounded to them. “I asked to see you? Are you sure about that?”
They looked at each other again. “Yes, sir. Your chief of staff asked for a meeting.”
I ground my teeth for a moment. “Can I assume he intimated a campaign contribution would be involved?”
Adrianowicz nodded and said, “You may assume so. We were surprised at that since you aren’t on any committees or subcommittees involving the oil business. Still, it doesn’t hurt to make friends in this town.”
Damn, but that guy looked familiar, but I shrugged it off. “I’m having some growing pains with my chief of staff. Last week I had a meeting with the Clean Coal Initiative, which I did have some interest in, through the Subcommittee for Technology and Innovation. Maybe he thought I needed input on other fuels as well.” I tried to put a good face on it. Chuck must be going through the D.C. phone book selling me off to everybody.
“So, you weren’t actually reaching out to touch our wallets?” asked John, smiling.
I returned the smile. “Fellows, I’m as interested in campaign contributions as the next politician, but you’ll be wasting your money. I have about zero influence over the oil business.”
“That is refreshingly honest, Congressman,” commented Morton.
I just held my hands up in wry agreement. Then I looked at him closer. “Have we ever met before? You look awfully familiar, but I can’t say as I’ve ever met a Morton Adrianowicz before.”
“The name is Martin Adrianopolis,” he replied, which made me really scratch my head. That name sounded familiar! “You, too, for that matter. I knew a Carl Buckman back in college, but he was a math major and going into the Army.”
I sat bolt upright at that. “I knew a Marty Adrianopolis, back when I was at RPI, as a math major and ROTC cadet.” This guy looked familiar, but a different haircut and thirty extra pounds changed the line of his face.
His face broke out into a huge grin. “It is you! I thought it might be, but Carl and Buckman aren’t the most unusual names, and your background history was that you were an investment banker before you ran for office. Holy crap! It is you, isn’t it?”
“Well, by God, it’s good to see you again! We have to talk!” I looked back over at Talbot, and said, “Well, it wasn’t a wasted trip after all! Did you come over with him, or vice versa?”
“Marty came with me.”
“Marty, stick around. We are going to have a few drinks and go out to dinner. Okay?” I asked him.
He smiled. “We will discuss the ways in which the Maryland Ninth and the petroleum industry can help each other. Think of all the billable hours!”
“Oh, God, don’t tell me you became a lawyer!” I said. He laughed at that.
I stood up and so did John Talbot. “Mister Talbot, I really want to apologize for getting you over here like this. I’ll be discussing it with my chief of staff, but I do apologize.”
“Please Congressman, these sorts of things happen. Don’t worry about it. Maybe we’ll both get lucky, and you’ll end up on Energy and Commerce, or Natural Resources, and you can owe me a meeting then.”
“Maybe so.” I showed him to the door, and ushered him out
Chuck came up and glanced into my office, where Marty was still lounging on my couch. “Congressman, you have another meeting in ten minutes.”
“Nobody put anything on my calendar, Chuck,” I told him. “Therefore, I don’t have another meeting.”
“But Congressman, we have you scheduled!” he insisted.
“Chuck, let me give you a hint. It’s my life so I get to make the schedules. Unless it’s the President of the United States or my wife, I’m not available. I will consider something from either the Speaker of the House, or Michel or Gingrich, but tell them you’ll have to ask me first. Understand?”
“Congressman?”
I left him standing there in confusion in the lobby, with a couple of secretaries staring at him and another smirking. I went back into my office and closed the door. “What an asshole!” I said quietly, as much to myself as to Marty.
“Problems?” he asked.
“Nothing I can’t handle.” I went over to a bookcase-hutch against one wall. I tugged on it, and it unfolded into a hidden wet bar. “It must be five o’clock somewhere.”
Marty stood up and grinned. “Scotch and soda if you have it.”
“I have it, but I can’t stand Scotch, so I don’t know if it’s any good.” I held up a bottle. “Glenlivet. Any good?”
“It’ll do,” he said with a smile.
I made a couple of drinks, Scotch and soda for him, and a Seven and Seven for myself. I handed him his drink. “Here’s to knowledge and thoroughness.”
“Oh, Christ! Was that a long time ago!” ‘ Knowledge and Thoroughness’ is the Rensselaer motto.
We sat back down around the coffee table. “So, what the hell are you doing in Washington?” I demanded.
“I could ask you the same question! The last I remembered, you were a math major working on your doctorate and going through ROTC training. I always figured you’d end up teaching somewhere. How the hell does that translate into billionaire investor and Congressman?” he asked.
“Yeah? The last I remember of you was when you moved to Houston, to work for Exxon at a refinery. You were a chemical engineer, right? Then, a year later, we all lost track of you, and now you’re a lobbyist? What gives? You first!”
“Well, that’s right, I went to Houston to work for Exxon at one of their refineries. Not quite a year later, though, I had an opportunity to go to Saudi Arabia and work for Aramco, at one of their refineries. Big money, and I had just gotten married to a woman with expensive tastes. That would have been, let me think, late ‘76 or so. Anyway, I worked over there for about five years, got divorced, came back home, and ended up back in Houston.”
“Right back where you started from.”
“That’s what I said! I didn’t just want to spend the rest of my life in a refinery, waiting for something to blow up, or getting cancer from some shit. I went to law school, and ended up here, junior lawyer in a lobbying firm. Money’s better, too.”
“You ever remarry?” I asked.
“I am a firm believer in the sacred rite of marriage. And divorce now that I think about it. I married a second time and got divorced from her, too.”
“You’re just a sorry ass to have to live with.”
“You’d be an expert on being a sorry ass. What about you? The last I remember you were banging that little brunette with the nice tits.”
“That would be my beloved wife and the mother of my children you’re talking about,” I answered.
“And the tits?” he said, laughing.
“Even nicer!” We laughed loud and long at that.
“Good for you! So, how the hell did you ever end up in this shithole? I used to think you had principles!”
“Really? A Kegger with principles? Hard to even imagine!” I replied.
“Come on, give!”
I gave an elaborate sigh. “Remember the Grateful Dead, and that line about what a long, strange trip it’s been? That would be my life!” I got up and made us another round of drinks, and then brought them back over. Marty was still sitting there waiting for an explanation. “Okay, when last you saw me, I was still at the ‘Tute, working on my math degrees and dating Marilyn and planning to go into the Army.” Marty nodded and agreed with this.
“So, that’s pretty much what I did. I graduated on time, two years after you, and was commissioned into the Army, so I belonged to them for four years. I ended up in the 82nd Airborne, in a battery of 105s. You know what I’m talking about?” I had to explain that to Marty. “A year after I graduated, Marilyn graduated, and we got married.”
“So, you did your four years and got out,” he asked.
I gave him a wry look. “Well, that’s the strange thing. Actually, I liked it, and was good at it. I decided to go career, but then I made a bad jump and screwed up my knee.”
“You? Career Army? Holy Christ! You couldn’t stay in?”
I shrugged. It was too much to explain unless he had been Army himself at some point. “Maybe, in a staff job somewhere, but I was a combat officer, and a good one. It’s like I told Marilyn, it’d be like working in an ice cream store and not being allowed to lick the scoop. So, I got out.”
Surprisingly, he nodded. “Okay, I can follow that. My old man was in Korea. He once said something like that to me, too. But how do you go from the Army to investment banker? I would have figured you for teaching college or going to work for Microsoft or something.”
At that I laughed loud and long! “Oh, buddy, if you only knew!” I told him.
“Knew what?”
“Back at RPI, I was a millionaire. I’m really good at investing, really good! When I got out of the Army, that summer I flew out to Redmond, Washington, and wrote Bill Gates a check for five million dollars. You think I was going to work for Microsoft? I own just under five percent of Microsoft!”
Marty stared at me. After a few more seconds, he said, “Are you shitting me? You own five percent of Microsoft?”
I shrugged and smiled. “Technically, the Buckman Group owns the shares, but I own 75 percent of the Buckman Group.”
“How much does that work out to?”
“What, the Microsoft shares? Well, the market capitalization is somewhere around $11 billion, so figure five percent times 75 percent, that makes what, $400 million or so.”
“Holy Christ! You’d better go slow and start from the beginning. You were a millionaire in college? What the hell?”
I smiled and pointed at the wet bar. “You might as well bring the bottles and ice over here. This is going to be a long, long tale!”
While Marty laughed and went over to the bar, I pulled my cell phone out and hit the first memory button. I listened while the phone rang, and then was picked up. “Hello?” It was Charlie’s voice, still high pitched and a little thin. In the background I could hear his sisters demanding to know who it was, at which point he yelled back, “SHUT UP! I’M ON THE PHONE!” I slapped my hand over my face in disbelief. Then I heard, “Hello?”
“Charlie, don’t be rude to your sisters...”
“Hi, Dad!”
“Is your mother there?”
The next thing I heard was him dropping the phone, probably on the kitchen counter, and yelling at the top of his lungs, “MOM! IT’S FOR YOU!”
I muttered to myself, and a minute later there was the sound of the phone being picked up. “Hello?”
“Mrs. Buckman, this is the National Center for Youth Telephone Discipline. Do you have time for a survey?”
“Very funny! Let me kill your son for you, and I’ll tell you all about it. What’s up?”
“My schedule’s changed. I’ll be staying here tonight. I’ll come home tomorrow night and make a long weekend. Sorry about this, but it just came up.”
“That’s okay.” Marilyn had learned my schedule needed some flexibility. “What’s up?”
“I need to have dinner and drinks with an old friend who I just reconnected with,” I told her.
“Male or female?” she teased.
I glanced over at Marty. “It’s either an ugly guy, or a really ugly girl. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”
Marty flipped me the bird, making me laugh. Marilyn just said, “You can take me to an expensive dinner, and not the special at the Westminster Diner, either.”
I laughed some more and told her to make reservations for Saturday night, and then told her to tell the kids I loved them. Before I hung up, I asked, “Do me a favor and call Tyrell. I won’t need a pickup tonight or tomorrow morning, please.” Tyrell Washington was the helicopter pilot for the LongRanger. Marilyn agreed, and I flipped my phone shut and stuck it back in my pocket. “Let the drinking begin!”
Mindy stuck her head in a little later. “Anything I can do, Congressman? Chuck asked me to look in on you.”
I snorted. “We’re fine. Do me a favor. Call around and make reservations for dinner somewhere, something nice. Morton’s would be good if you can manage it, or Ruth’s Chris. Tell my driver, too.”
Mindy excused herself and closed the door again, and Marty and I got back to swapping lies and talking about the old days, and how we ended up where we were. At six, Mindy knocked and came back in. “I’ve got your reservations at Morton’s at half past, and if you go downstairs now, your car should be waiting for you when you get there.”
“Mindy, you are an angel. Don’t let Marilyn know how you run my life because she’ll only get jealous! We’re going. You should go home, too.” The girl blushed and waved good-bye.
The limo was waiting for us when we got down to the lobby, the security guy standing there holding the door for us. Marty climbed in and then I climbed in after him. He smiled as he looked around. “Pretty swanky compared to the old days, huh?”
I laughed. “Marty, you have no idea! Listen, you doing anything this weekend? I’d love to take you home and reintroduce you to Marilyn.”
“Sorry, not this weekend. Next weekend is open, though.”
“Perfect. Bring a bag or a suitcase over here next Friday and prepare to be surprised,” I told him.
He gave me a curious look. “Going to show me your castle?”
“No castle, but trust me, you’ll be surprised.”
“It’s crazy, you know. I knew about the billionaire who bought himself a Congressional seat, but I never figured it was my little brother from the frat house. You’re really a billionaire?” he asked.
I held up two fingers in a V. “Somewhere between one-and-a-half and two. And I wish I could have bought it! It would have been so much simpler than putting up with Andy Stewart!”
“Talk to me! He’s been a scumbag since before he ever made it to Washington. What happened with you?”
We talked over the campaign for a while, taking care of the ride over and getting our table and through the appetizers. It was a touch early in the evening, and Wednesday isn’t a big ‘power dinner’ day, so we didn’t have to wait. Marty loved the whole election mess; me, I was less than thrilled with it! “I’m glad you’re enjoying this. I could have done without it. So, if I have to tell you the sordid truth about my election, you have to tell me the sordid truth about your marriages. What happened?”
He shrugged and sighed. “My first marriage? She didn’t handle being overseas very well. She started sleeping around, and I walked in on them one night.”
“Okay, that pretty much sucks,” I agreed. “What about Number Two?”
He shrugged. “I guess I was on the rebound. It just didn’t work out. Maybe I’m just not the marrying kind. Anyway, screw that! I want to hear how you are conquering Washington!”
I snorted at that. “Conquering Washington? I’m not even sure I’m conquering my office! So far, I am not riding to glory.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
By now our steaks had arrived and we started cutting them up. Happy cows! I savored a bite, and then answered. “I think it’s my chief of staff. I don’t think he has a clue what he’s doing. I need somebody who knows what he’s doing, since I certainly don’t, and he ain’t cutting it. He spends all his time trying to line up campaign contributions and no time trying to help anybody get anything done.”
“So, fire him! Get somebody new. Where’d you get him anyway?”
“Gingrich recommended him, but I don’t know if he knew the guy all that well. He had been an assistant chief of staff to somebody who just lost his seat. Either Newt didn’t know the guy, or Newt is trying to sink me. Now, he’s perfectly capable of doing that, but I can’t see what motive he would have. He hasn’t known me long enough to hate me yet!”
Marty gave a wry smile and nodded. “Well, at least you’re not a total babe in the woods. I know some guys who wouldn’t consider being knifed in the back. Still, you’re right. Newt Gingrich would slit your throat if he thought it was a good idea, but his big plan right now is building the numbers of Republicans up and getting control of the House. If he slits your throat, it won’t be until after he does that. The guy is probably just a good assistant and a lousy boss. We’ve all seen that before.”
“True, so true. I remember one battalion exec who was brilliant, right until the day the battalion commander had to go to Fort Sill for a week and left him in command. The guy was a miserable clusterfuck when left to his own devices.”
“Right,” agreed Marty. “So, fire this asshole and get somebody decent.”
“You know anybody any good?” That just earned me a shrug. “I don’t want to go back to Gingrich, and the only others I really know are newbies like me. Hell, you know this town, you’d be better than what I’ll find on my own!”
Marty laughed hard enough to start coughing, which got me to laughing as well. Then he said, “Carl, even if I wanted to work for you, you can’t afford me!”
“Is that the only issue? The money? Do you like being a lobbyist that much?” I asked.
He looked at me seriously. “No, but I like being in this town and I like being near power, and I really like the money. I make more than what your chief of staff makes! I like you, Carl, but I don’t like you that much!”
I nodded in agreement, and we kept talking through dinner. After dinner, we eschewed dessert, but we did order coffee (tea for me) and cognacs. Marty ordered a Remy Martin, but I said, “You know, I’m not big on cognac. Can I just get some whiskey instead?”
The waiter answered, “Yes, sir, of course. Anything in particular?”
“Canadian Mist? Or Canadian Club if you don’t have it.”
“Yes sir, of course,” replied the waiter.
We sipped on our coffee and tea while the waiter went to the bar. A few minutes later he returned with a pair of snifters, setting one down in front of each of us. I just stared at mine in disbelief. “Holy Christ!” I told my friend. “I thought he’d just bring back a shooter! There must be four ounces of whiskey here!”
Marty laughed and swirled his cognac in his snifter. “I wonder if we can set it on fire?”
“Oh, good Christ! Do you remember that night? Remember how I ended up being thrown in the pool over that?” I swallowed some of my whiskey, which I have to admit, was very nice.
Marty held his snifter out to me. “To the Polar Bear Club!”
I tinked my glass against his. “And all the idiot members of it!”
After we were nearing the bottoms of our snifters, I commented, “If it’s just a question of money, I could always raise your pay? What the hell? That’s how the real world works? Supply and demand! High end people cost more!” I was starting to slur things but wasn’t sure.
Marty was coherent enough to be listening. “Forget it! It doesn’t work that way! That’s a government job! You can’t moonlight or get paid under the table. Why do you think these guys all want to work for the lobbying firms? So they can make some money!”
“Marty, let me tell you something. I may not know shit about government, but I know about people and money, and if there’s a way to do something, it can be figured out.”
“Well, when you figure this out, let me know. I’ll be curious!” Now Marty was slurring a bit.
I waved down the waiter and handed him my American Express card, wishing now that I hadn’t ordered the whiskey. I also asked him to order the driver up. He came back, I signed away a ludicrously large piece of my net worth, and we left. Marty was staggering slightly as we went outside. I took a breath of air and got enough oxygen flowing to stay awake and helped my friend into the limo. By the time I went around to the other side and climbed in, Marty was asleep.
The driver and I stared at each other. “Crap! I was hoping he would help me get inside, not the other way around!” I said.
“Yes, sir,” the driver replied, laughing. “Do you know an address for him?”
I shrugged. “Not a clue. Let’s take him over to my place. He can sleep on the couch. Maybe you can help me with him.”
He nodded. “If not, I have a brother-in-law with a construction company. We can borrow their crane.”
We went over to 30th and up the driveway. I unlocked the front door and propped it open, then the two of us got Marty upright and headed inside. We dumped him on the couch, and then I stumbled upstairs to bed.
I woke up late the next morning, wondering why I was still wearing a suit. I remembered why when I stood up, and discovered I had a major league headache. I stumbled into the bathroom and stripped off my clothing, and then swallowed a half dozen Advils. I stood under the shower for a long, long time, then crawled out and had a few more Advils. I handle ibuprofen very well, much better than aspirin or Tylenol. Then I remembered my guest downstairs. I grabbed a robe and padded barefoot down to the living room.
Marty was absent, but there was a handwritten note on a scrap of paper in the kitchen. “Took cab ... great place ... call me” along with one of his business cards. I made myself some cereal and juice, and ate that, and then headed upstairs again. I was very late when I got into my office.
As soon as I hit the Longworth building Mindy and Chuck followed me into my office. I was all cleaned up and dressed, but my eyes were bloodshot, and my pallor was a bit grey. Mindy said, “Long night?”
I looked at her and said, “If I wanted a woman to scold me, I’d get married. Oh, yeah! I did! Too bad you’re not my wife.”
Chuck was oblivious, and immediately announced I had missed an appointment with somebody from the Renewable Fuels Association that morning. I looked over at Mindy, who gave me a blank look. I grabbed my planner off the desk and flipped it today’s page. No meetings were scheduled. “Chuck, there’s nothing listed for today.”
He waved his left hand dismissively. “This is something that just came up.”
“No, Chuck, it didn’t. If you had somebody scheduled to meet me this morning, then you scheduled it no later than yesterday, so it could have been put in my calendar. When did you actually schedule this meeting?”
Chuck’s eyes widened and he began to sputter. “No, no ... it wasn’t like that ... I mean, yes it was the other day, but no...”
“Forget it. What possible reason could I have to meet this guy?”
“Woman. Tracy Shelburne.”
“Nobody cares, Chuck. What possible reason could I have to meet this lady? Renewable Fuels? What the hell is that all about?”
“Ethanol, of course,” he replied.
“Ethanol? From corn?” He nodded. “Chuck, let me tell you, the only ethanol from corn we care about in the Maryland Ninth is bourbon. What in the world did I want to speak to her about anyway?”
“There’s a potential for a vote in the Technology and Innovation Subcommittee,” he told me.
“So, last week you were selling my soul to the clean coal lobby. Yesterday you tried to sell me to the oil and gas drillers. Today you wanted me to sell out to the ethanol refiners. What happens when these guys figure out that I can’t possibly vote for each and every one of them? Think that might be a problem, Chuck?
“Well, you obviously can’t make any promises, other than to consider their positions carefully.”
I looked over at Mindy. “You know the definition of an honest politician? One who stays bought. Mindy, I need to talk to Chuck. Can you excuse us? Thank you.”
Mindy stood up and left my office, closing the door behind her. Chuck watched her leave and then turned back to me. “Chuck, are you happy here? Working for me, I mean.”
He looked very confused at this. “Yes, why?”
“Because right now the feeling is not mutual. I want you to listen to me very carefully. From now on, you make no appointments for me without discussing them with me first and getting my permission. Any appointments get written in the calendar. You do not keep running around selling my vote to anybody and everybody. Are you getting the gist of the discussion, or do I need to be more explicit?” I said this in as calm and even a tone of voice as I could muster.
“Congressman, I don’t understand what the problem is. These are all individuals with legitimate reasons to meet with you.”
“Maybe they are and maybe they aren’t, but that’s my ruling on this. It ends today, now. Is this clearly understood, or do I need to go find myself a new chief of staff who understands these requirements?”
Chuck’s eyes snapped wide at this. “Congressman!”
“Do you understand me or not?” I pressed.
“Congressman Buckman! I don’t understand the hostility of the discussion.”
“Mister Hanson, for the last time, will you abide by these rules, yes, or no? I need a response.”
“Yes, sir, of course!”
“Now, who were you selling me to this afternoon, and why do I want to see them?” We talked about another fifteen minutes, and Chuck was flustered the entire time. I could see him flipping through appointment slips that he was now going to have to cancel. Afterwards I brought in Sherry Longbottom to discuss upcoming legislation, and then Babs Brosinski, my Constituent Services Director, to discuss any problems back in the district. Babs, despite a name that suggested a ditzy blonde, was a tough-as-nails battle-axe brunette. I had brought Cheryl down for a day, and she had taken to Babs quickly, and they looked to be a good team for handling problems back in the Ninth.
Mid-afternoon, I got a phone call from Marty, who complained that I was an individual of low moral character, who was prone to lead innocent victims to a life of ruin. He didn’t sound all that good, but he had been socking it away even more than I had. I chided him by saying I learned many of my dissolute habits from him, and then reminded him to call me next week and confirm his visit to the house.
That evening I went over to National, and Tyrell flew me back to Westminster. I made it in the house before Dum-Dum figured out, I was home, but she was so neurotically insistent on playing with me, I sat down in my chair and let her lick my face while I rubbed her belly. Marilyn came over to kiss me hello, and Dum-Dum decided to lick her face as well. “AAAAGGGHHH! Dog kisses!” Marilyn complained, sounding like Lucy Van Pelt.
I glanced around to make sure the kids were out of earshot. “I don’t think it’s the kisses so much as the tongue that bothers you.”
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Holden looked at me curiously. “How can I help you, sir?” “Tell me about the department. How did you get the acting chief slot, for one thing? Seniority?” He nodded. “Basically. I was hired by Chief Babcock back when he was first hired. Shawn Warren was hired about a year later. He has Patrol.” “So, you’ve been a captain about two years, and he’s only been a captain one year.” Again, he nodded. “We weren’t even considered for the chief’s slot, at least not permanently. Besides, Chief...
The Secretary of Internal Affairs was all concentrated on the job at hand, fucking this woman from behind, pumping that hard cocaine-induced old cock of his in and out of the tightest pussy he ever encountered. It wrapped around his man-meat like an anaconda and made it hard as hell not to succumb to a quick orgasm - and, mind you, this was the third time this evening.The powerful man fought with his proud manhood, grabbed hard around the woman's hips and pumped even harder. 'Take that, you...
Space, what a great place to be. Humanity sure came a long way, now with transporting capabilities, we are able to ship cargo and other shit across the stars in literally no time at all. The idea of shipping other people's junk didn't appeal to me after a while, so I decided to keep all of it. Of course, the United Space Law Enforcement Agency for Space or the USLEA or 'useless', thought that me doing this was evil. So I was arrested and tried. The sentence, life on a prison planet on the rim...
They pulled into a yard that was already filled with vehicles, so they pulled to the side of the house, right behind Doris's car. Pete had momentarily forgot that Mike was bringing Misti and the babies here this morning. They, along with her Mom and Dad would be here for, and at the behest of, Doris for at least a week. She had let it be known that she wanted them here. PERIOD!!!They went into the house to a scene of total chaos, or so it seemed. At first glance it looked like bedlam, but, at a...
Ellie was flipping through the local classified ads: ”Paddy, look someone in Andover is selling a 4 horse merry go round. I'll give him a ring”.“He says it's in full working order and we can collect it this weekend. Look he's sent a video clip. Oh dear Paddy, I don't think you ought to see this. It must be his step-daughter riding it - and the wind has lifted her tiny pink skirt. Oh shit - you can actually see the black dildo mounted on the horse’s saddle”.Paddy grabbed the phone: “that’s...
Barbara looked up at the young blonde as she walked down the airplane's aisle, carefully checking seat numbers. She looked frightened and excited at the same time. Big blue eyes tried to take in everything at once as her gaze darted across the cabin. Reaching the empty seat next to Barbara, she checked the seat number again and then smiled nervously as she sat down. Barbara guessed her to be about 19 or 20, probably her first time away from home. She wore a plain white blouse and matching...
It was early August. Sophia was seven and a half months pregnant, and was feeling and showing the effects. "I'm a whale. I'm a beached whale," she complained to Warren one night as they lie in bed, watching TV. "Best looking beached whale I ever saw." "You're biased," Sophia pointed out with a giggle. "Who, me?" "Yeah, you." Sophia looked down at herself. "I'm so fat." "You're not fat, you're pregnant." "Yeah, well, I'm huge. And my back hurts." "Of course it...
Kenny grabbed his crotch to shift the uncomfortable bulge that had formed there. All of the guys were in a similar predicament and it did not escape Amelia’s notice. “Don’t worry, boys, we will address your situation in a moment,” she said. Then she turned to me. “Aaron, go clean yourself up, then get your cleaning supplies ready.” I departed to wash the hand that had been in my wife’s ass a few minutes before. Amelia walked over to Andre and Jess over to Paul. Both girls knelt down on the...
Phil was happy when the plane touched down in Calder City. He had spent almost a week away from Hailey and he missed her. He also missed the rest of the friends he’d grown to love over the past year. It was a workday so Hailey was still at the office. Beth said she planned to stop in for a few minutes but Phil announced he was going to the apartment and vegging out for the rest of the day. He’d return to work Monday. Beth laughed. She was proud of how Phil had conducted himself, not only in...
Reggie and I spent the afternoon just driving around town. We checked out restaurants for dinner and where exactly the Portland Inn was located. The Inn was a very fancy name for a shabby downtown motel. It was obviously outside the downtown rehab area. It was headed toward oblivion, and should be there in a few year. It was a good thing we got to town when we did, if we wanted to hang out there. "So it's dinner at Elizabeth's Italian restaurant and then on to the Portland Inn's...
The clock, next to Sandra's bed, was doing its best to wake her. After a few grunts and moans, Sandra finally woke up. She looked at the clock and noticed it was already 11 minutes past 7 o'clock. Sandra sighed and thought, 'I'm too tired!' When she remembered why she had set her clock this early; she just turned her back towards the clock and wanted to go to sleep again. However, then she also remembered that she needed to talk to that guy she had been with yesterday, and that they...
Later, after the typical drinks at the club house, I invited West to lunch. Sean joined us and I was painfully aware that there was no affection, no brothers, no slutwear. Sean was downright depressed and I felt miserable. "Oh fer Christ sake!" West exclaimed suddenly. "If I wanted to see a couple not fight in public, I could go to lunch with my wife! So, you have all two hundred members of Boys-to-Men living with you and this is the one you bring out? What, the rest not talking to you...
December 20, 2017 [Written December 20-22] In all the excitement on Sunday, Heather was late sending out the competition text. As I wrote yesterday’s account, I realized that Thursday is tomorrow, so I am finally remembering to include it here: Competition parameters for 17-23 Dec: holiday festive but titillating. Liya woke me. Once I’d gotten my eyes to focus on her, I realized that she was asking me to scoot in. I looked at the clock in the headboard, seeing that it was only a half-hour...
Sunday, April 24, 2005 (Continued) I entered the hot tub room with a non-specific apology loaded up and ready to speak, but there was no one in the room. I could hear loud music and laughter coming from the Guys' Room, so that's presumably where everyone was. Julia's instructions had been for me to strip and get into the hot tub. She'd even said to do so even if there was no one in the room. But I was ten minutes later than she expected, so did that change anything? Also, should I stick...
I looked at Lorrie and asked, "Is that all of them?" "That's all so far. They didn't say anything when they came in other than 'Mistress we are here'' to Marcy. She was working the window." Lorrie responded. "Tell Marcy to turn off the card entry on the gym door. I want everyone manually punched in. If there is more than one at the door I want someone on the inside of the door as well. I don't want any surprises tonight." I said. "If Carla is finished send her to me....
On Wednesday morning I packed the cell phone along on my morning ride with Cheryl. It was probably not a good thing that I had begun to think of the morning ride and Cheryl as part and parcel of the same thing. But there she was knocking on my door at 7;30AM again. Breakfast was again filled with guys leering at her boobs, while I smiled inwardly. I have no idea why I found it so satisfying, I mean she wasn't really with me in a romantic sense. Even so. I felt almost like a proud...
After a second night, with an even bigger crowd, I was handed another check for the same amount, and we headed off to 23rd stop – Nashville, Tennessee LP Field (Two Performances) five hours away by car. We were playing at the Tennessee Titans football stadium for two nights as well. Its capacity is 69,000 for football, I don’t know what we may expect there. By my side was my fiancée for this drive. She cuddled up tight and we fell asleep together. Pulling up at six-thirty am to the Hilton...
ODE TO THE SPELL CHECKER Eye have a spelling checker It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steak eye kin not sea Eye strike a key and type a word And weight 4 it 2 say Weather eye am wrong ore write It shows me strait a weigh As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong, Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me...
Unsurprisingly, Chris Grant was the first person to show up at Regan's house. The prospect of spending the afternoon with girls in bikinis had him ready to leave his house at 9 a.m. Once the thermometer showed a temperature higher than 80, he was in his car and on his way. He figured that Ruth and Joy were already at Regan's house - and he was certain Andy was there even if they weren't. Thus, he was surprised to find himself alone with Regan's cousins when he arrived. "Andy needed...
Jeff watched Jennie lead Hope to the other end of the kitchen where Jennie and Melissa started showing Hope how to help out with breakfast. Every now and then Hope would look back at Little One, Hope seeming to make sure that her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her, and that there really was a small alien in the kitchen. When Jeff again held his collar open, and Little One flowed in to spread across his back, Hope couldn't take her eyes off the process. Jeff smiled at her, and left to...
It was a long, lonely week, but I made it through to Friday. I spent my days between school and work, filling my down time studying and catching up in my journal. Mom met me for dinner on Monday night. We laughed and chatted for two hours. She told me colorful stories about all the people we'd met at Chris' party on Sunday. It felt like old times between us. I saw Kendra at school a few times, but managed to excuse myself from spending time with her without being too obvious about it. She...
By 10 o'clock, everyone was awake – even Sarah. Meredith had grabbed a quick shower and pulled her last change of clothing out of her overnight bag. It was something she should have considered. The $200 Ben had paid her wouldn't go far as a clothing budget – unless she shopped at Goodwill. Still, she was fairly certain that the apartment complex had a coin-op laundry and that no one would expect her to go around nude. Rachelle was in the room when Meredith pulled out her remaining folded...
When they went back inside and closed the door, Karen looked at Laura, her dark eyes smoldering. "I recall we were doing something when she interrupted us," she smiled sexily. Laura carefully drew shut the deadbolt lock, looking at Karen significantly. Then she drew closer, her fingers grasping the lapels of Karen's fluffy pink bathrobe. "I believe we were," she whispered. Slowly, she pulled the lapels open, exposing Karen's marvelous, large, jutting breasts. She cupped one in each...
Casa del Agua stayed resident in the master suite for a week after Raven was born. The little girl had hair that was suited for her name, black as night. She was a hungry girl all the time, and even though Rachel was only feeding one kid instead of two this time, it seemed that Raven could keep her drained. And she had four cónyuge to help out if Raven left any. Rachel could feed the clan, but I was glad to have my turn at her luscious tits guaranteed. Rose wrapped a red thread around...
"Sure looks like a scam to us," Andy Bairnsfether said. "We were just talking about it the other day, but we haven't done anything on it." "Why not?" Mike asked. "Hell, Mike, you taught me yourself that there's sometimes a hell of a difference between what you know and what you can print. We poked around the edges, and found enough to smell, but without some hard evidence, there's nothing we could do about a story. What's got you so interested in the Defenders of Gaea?" "It's...
“We can do it, but it will have to be timed to perfection and casualties on the Daoine Sidhe side will be very high,” Morgana stated to the Alliance group meeting chaired by Verenestra. “You can take out Elphame, Annwn, Afallach, Emain Ablach, Cnoc Meadha, Cnoc na Teamhrach, Inis Vitrin, Niðavellir and Rathcroghan, in one strike?” Draíochta Sinnead of the Craebh Ruadh asked, looking astounded. “Yes, though naturally we aren’t going into details,” Morgana replied with a thin smile. I could...
I left Miles to join his fishing party. I headed up the mountain with the hunters. We left camp a few minutes before the fishermen so I was out of sight before Miles left. He carried two one gallon plastic milk jugs which we found laying about. He didn't have to be told to clean it first. The hunt team had very definite instructions on where to shoot and where not to shoot. Since I didn't know which of the clowns to trust, I made sure not to allow myself to be back lighted against the...
The white battlecruiser crept through space like a stalking Siberian tiger, moving ever closer to the herd of unsuspecting ochre-hued prey. The giant blue star at the heart of the Pi Sagittarii system cast its cool light over the closing ship, making it seem like night was falling on that wintry scene, the huge insectoid ships huddling together for warmth in the frozen dusk. Sections of the Invictus’ armoured hull slid back, revealing a formidable array of heavy weaponry, but the broad...
Say thanks to dorsetmike for this one: Police have arrested a man who fell into the workings whilst stealing a combine harvester. They’re expect he’ll to be baled tomorrow. Compliments of Allan B Algebra – what mermaids wear to hold up their breasts. Cannibals serve food at a wake. It saves a lot on the burial costs... Adam was a White man. Did you ever try to take a rib from a Black man? A candidate for the police force was asked, “What would you do if you had to arrest your...
Alan was extremely drained. Incredibly drained. It wasn't so much the physical as the mental. Doing something like "torturing" Heather into spilling her secret required him to be at the top of his game mentally, just as if he was taking a big test like the Scholastic Aptitude Tests (SATs) used for college admissions. But it also had a vital and demanding physical component, and it seemed to be just one of many such demanding situations he'd been forced to be in ever since he woke up. The...
I managed to finish my shower and dress before the Realtor showed up. I met him in the office before Wilson arrived for the day's review of our bugs. "Hello there," the Realtor said. "Hello, so do you have the offer ready?" I asked. "Yes I do. Here you go. You are going to offer $200,000 total for the property known as the Railroad Hotel. This gives the legal description and location. It states you are offering 5% earnest money with the understanding the owner will respond within 48...
After once again profusely thanking the Carters for getting hold of the bikes for us, and making our summer cycling holiday in France actually possible in the first place, I collected up all my belongings and hugged my five friends goodbye. I was headed straight back to Middlesbrough, as I had to be there for work the next morning. Kenneth and Pamela Carter again expressed their delight that the twins had enjoyed their holiday so much; I had a feeling that they had finally worked out that...
It was more of the same and all different. Our team went to semi-state last year and fell to the Concord powerhouse. Of course, most of Concord's varsity had graduated and they were eliminated in their Sectional this year. Give them another year or two, though, and they'd be back. Last year, I'd been new on the varsity at playoffs, a lot like Brent and Trent—the sophomore twin forwards who had been called up from JV—were this year. It was exciting, sure. But aside from being used as a...
If things seemed to be hotting up a bit on stage then things were also definitely hotting up down in the audience. That two and half thousand strong audience also had its own fair share of naked bodies with rock hard erections and highly aroused vaginas. Some of those naked bodies were actually Certified Nudists and Clothing Optional Nudists but a good deal of them were not. A lot of people just decided to get naked where they sat just because they felt like it and because it made it just so...
I’m really getting used to waking up with a girl in bed with me. Two girls? Well that is even better. I don’t know how to even begin to describe the pleasure of having my head cradled between the two firm breasts of the girl I was seemingly using as a mattress. As I became more awake I noticed that she had her long legs spread so that her feet were inside mine and her furry mound was pushed against my back. The naked girls on each side of me were using my chest as their pillows. Soon I found...
My G5 with the girls, JJ, RJ, Ziva, Farah, Abra and the three former Mossad agents on board landed at Andrews at three Wednesday afternoon. Driving over and home would all be in rush hour and take hours. With the G5 it was a twenty minute flight each way. I lucked out packing for the trip; this time the boys did not help me pack, Jenny did. She had an eye picking out the right outfits and matching jewelry. The flight was a truce with the boys. They wanted to fly with me every time I went...
“Satisfy people’s desire for the ridiculous and they will accept your idea of the sublime.” —Maurice Willson Disher, Clowns & Pantomimes 8 JULY 2020 We’ll be leaving shortly. The ‘time off’ has been limited. I’ve rehearsed the serious stuff with Cindy each day but not with the intrusion of our teachers. That’s something I’ve learned about musicians. We are expected to know our parts and be able to put them together with other musicians on demand. That’s a bit I might have...
Saturday October 3, 1896 Crow Valley, Oklahoma Territory “Let me see that map again, Deuce,” Ezra said. He stood next to Eli and Isaac as they looked at the map. They had just gotten their first orders as Deputy United States Marshals two days ago, and the six of them were excited as they saddled up. They’d packed the night before and already had their two packsaddles loaded with tents, food and supplies for at least a two-week stay once they reached their destination. They were being sent...
The scene reminded me of an old Western. The room got quiet as everybody turned around to look at Sara and her dance partner; the band stopped in the middle of their song. The only thing missing was a bartender diving down behind the bar. The spell was broken as two faculty members appeared from nowhere and made their way over to the two of them. Chris was on his way in from the sidelines as Jill nudged me toward Sara. I looked at her, wondering why she was pushing me. "Go on." I walked...
"Good evening ladies." Arin sneered, halting a short distance away. Bowing before them in a sarcastic mockery of polite formality, before turning to face a stunned Ryoko directly. "Did you really think to be rid of me so easily Ryoko?" "You can't be here!" She murmured thickly. "It's impossible!" Ryoko wailed, now in the grips of a rising hysteria. "HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO DIE?!" She screamed as she leaped igniting her sword. As she descended upon the sight of her own...
Present – Jens, Ben and the others – Bad News Unfortunately our room wasn’t finished yet (Rats! I wanted to try out the mirrors on the ceiling) so we went back to the meeting room. The meeting was over but the main phone rings, Gretchen answers it and announces, “Jennifer it’s Samantha for you.” I figure it must be something about the report she did so I walk over to the phone and ask, “What’s going on Samantha?” Samantha shocks me when she instead says, “Jennifer, you’re not going to...
I expected a lot of things when my name was announced. I had figured about half the studio audience would wonder who I was. I figured the other half would wonder why I was being interviewed. I did not expect them to stand up and start clapping the moment I stepped through the curtain. I stopped and looked around to see who was coming out with me to garner such a reaction. But I was alone on the soundstage. Denny Daniels saw me stop and got up from behind his desk. He walked over to meet...
The next morning, I found a very subdued Aedan sitting by the fire, dark bags under his eyes testifying that he hadn’t slept well. No one else was around, though it wasn’t that early by our normal standards, and I wondered if the sour expression on his face had scared everyone off. I sat down beside my brother and took his hand, resting my head on his shoulder as I picked at cold jerky I had fished out of my pack. We didn’t speak; I handed Aedan and Alistair some of the jerky, and we ate...
The Benedetto affair, as it was called at the Palais, and by people in general, had produced a tremendous sensation. Frequenting the Cafe de Paris, the Boulevard de Gand, and the Bois de Boulogne, during his brief career of splendor, the false Cavalcanti had formed a host of acquaintances. The papers had related his various adventures, both as the man of fashion and the galley-slave; and as every one who had been personally acquainted with Prince Andrea Cavalcanti experienced a lively...
Oddly enough, it was Two Voices who rounded up the asians. She hunted down several of the High Muckymucks wives, and brought them back to the fire. Then she started telling tales of the Valley Idiots. Pretty soon, she had them laughing at the antics of Jo, the Cheese, Bill, Jimmy and Big Stick Kurt. She got to the, "I heard that." part and they were in stitches. "Oh, Goddess! My husband is just like that," said Chien, the Chiefs wife. "His voice is so distinctive I can hear him across...
All of my writing is intended for adults over the age of 18 ONLY. Stories may contain strong or even extreme sexual content. All people and events depicted are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Actions, situations, and responses are fictional ONLY and should not be attempted in real life. All characters involved in sexual activity in this story are over the age of 18. If you are under the age of 18 or do not understand the difference between...
The TV kids were surprised when Haymarket's chief of police pulled into the drive. Neither Martin nor I were, but we tried to pretend, "Record every word and video every move that son of a bitch makes," I demanded. "You two stay inside, we will take care of this," Martin said in agreement. "So you staying or leaving?" I asked, when we were on the porch. "I'm going to be here, till I'm gone," he replied. It was vague but I knew what he meant. He was in the shit as long as he was...
“Oh, House-Father,” whined the slender, younger male concubine. “Take me!”“Your womanly body feels so good on my manhood,” the head of the family roared as he pounded the delicate, smooth eunuch.“Oh yes, Master. Give it to me,” called out the castrated being with a ‘light spirit’.“That’s a good girl! Open up your flower!”“It’s all yours, Nana,” he referred to his dominant lover using the word accorded to the ruling class of his people.“Yes! Yes it is.”The head of the family huffed as he slammed...
JULY 15, 89: What a fine and glorious day! A slight breeze carries a comfortable temperature all through the city. The sun is bright and chipper, but there’s more to my happiness than weather! In addition to our blessed nature, I continue receiving amicable visitors. I don’t have a moment’s peace for people keep stopping by, saying hi, congratulations, so on and so forth. I might as well leave the door to my office ajar, it doesn’t stay shut for long! No matter, today my schedule is free, and I...
Dale Rogers the new chief. Mayor Laura Jamison Lester Haines Sightly heavy night officer. Mike Simpson day officer. Gym rat also a short 5’4” Lucy Kerby chubby young secretary. Jim Sloan evening officer Adams the realtor. Wesley Brown handyman. Andrew Rice my roof repairman and plumbing repairman Betty Booth the Sergeant at arms of Happy Valley Colonel Williams rep for Happy valley Diane Rogers his ex wife Sarah Rogers his daughter Wilson Thomas Daine’s bf Allison Dempsey lucy’s temp Raul...
My first man on man encounter happened when I was still in high school. I was a military brat, my old man serving for 20 years and through two wars, I was intrigued by the military life and joined the AFJROTC in high school. I started hanging out with other military brats, essentially. Nearly everyone in my unit had a close relation that had served and one of the girls was the daughter of an Admiral. She had her own car, brilliant green eyes, a wicked sense of humor and a tremendous rack. She...
Amy had earned a living on her back since she was just sixteen. It started when her dad's friend took her in his car and fucked her for the very first time. He then bought her things so she would not tell. Every time he fucked her she got a gift from him. The kinkier she let him get the better the gifts. She learned that her pussy and ass could make her a lot of money. She went from the nasty street whore to a high classed call girl. Now her clients did not pick her up in a car but came to her...
The Chief DirectiveAllison Smith relaxed on her couch, something mindless playing on the tv. It was hard to feel guilty, though, she deserved the break. Her fianc?e was out of town on business. Allison worked hard herself as a lawyer for Greenpeace. Out of law school she’d taken a job for a big, white shoe corporate firm. Allison could certainly hack it, and the money was nice, but it just wasn’t that fulfilling. Just mailing checks to her favorite environmental organizations seemed hollow. She w...
By two in the afternoon we pretty much absorbed all the preliminary information available to us in Chapel Hill. Of course we hadn’t met the vampire, but all things in their time, I thought. It was likely that it would become necessary for me to return in a few days. At that moment I was thinking more of my home and bed than I was of vampires. Besides with a case this cold nothing was ever likely to happen, and there was certainly no time limit on it not happening. I could go back to Triboro,...
I whispered in her ear. She shook her head side to side. "Ok but if you do scream I will gag you," I said as I uncovered her mouth. She drew in a deep breath, I reached up and grabbed her right breast through her blouse and bra. " Mmmm April, you have nice supple titties, let's have a look at ' em shall we," I said. I slid my hands inside her blouse, between the buttons, and ripped her blouse open, exposing her bra. Then I grabbed her bra and ripped it apart, her breasts falling free,...