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Characters owned by others. Treatment by [email protected] Spells R Us: Japanese Chronicles 1: Candy Candy by Gregg Kasumi noticed the cat trying to sneak in and intercepted it. "And where do you think you're going, Mister Cat?" "Meowmeowmewmeow. MEOW!" "Oh my, you certainly are a talkative little kitty." The cat gritted her teeth and let her ears flatten. How was she going to tell anyone about this? How could she turn back without some help? She tried again, yowling and spitting. An anguished yelp could be heard from the stairway. "I'm sorry, but we can't take any cats in here. Ranma's afraid of them." The cat ducked around her Kasumi, fleeing into the house. The kitchen hot water tap should do it! She leapt onto the counter, began turning the knob and was rewarded with a jet of hot water. Yes! "Kasumi, what are you?" Nabiki watched the cat twist the hot water knob, then jump under the faucet. The resulting wet cat howled. "Well, what did you expect? Hmmm. You DID expect something, didn't you?" The cat leapt up to the cupboard, looking thoroughly bedraggled and nodded. "Nabiki, oh there it is." Kasumi started to remove the cat only to be stopped by Nabiki raising a hand to bar her way. "Hang on, sis." Nabiki sighed and looked at the cat. A little black cat with a stubby tail, unremarkable as far as she could tell. "Do I know you?" The cat nodded. "You're under a curse that turned you into a cat?" Another nod. The cat was now staring at Nabiki with tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh my." "Do I know you from school?" The cat shook her head. "Do I know you personally?" The cat nodded. "Are we related?" Another nod. "Well, Daddy, however did you get yourself into this mess?" The cat howled. "Not Daddy?" Nabiki blinked. "Well, who the heck are you, then?" "Meow!" "Kasumi, do we have any other relatives?" "Not that I know of," Kasumi began uncertainly. "Well, this cat insists." Nabiki thought for a few moments. "Playing twenty questions like this is not an efficient use of time. We need some means of communication a cat can manipulate. That lets my computer out, I don't think the keypad fits your paws." "Meow?" "Hmmm? Oh, sorry. It's a puzzle, and I simply can't let go of puzzles." Nabiki pondered a few moments more. "Do you speak English?" "Meow?" The cat looked rather puzzled but nodded. "Good." Nabiki nodded and went to get a stack of notecards from the cupboard. "Why English, Nabiki?" Kasumi looked curiously on as Nabiki quickly marked each of the cards with a letter. "Because English only has twenty-six letters. As opposed to doing up a card for the hiragana, katakana, and the common kanji. It's more efficient even if that language is quite a bit less elegant than Japanese." In a trice, the cat was set in the middle of a ring of cards, each marked with a romaji letter. "Still not the best system," Nabiki said with a frown, "but the best I could come up with on short notice." "A-k-a-n-e-t-e-n-d-o." Kasumi read each letter off as the cat turned and batted it with a paw. "Akane? Akane Tendo? Do we have a relative named Akane Tendo?" Nabiki was rewarded with the sight of a cat facefaulting. "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa!" Ranma walked in, saw the creature in the room, and fled. "Oh good grief." Nabiki covered her face. "You WOULD be the one thing my fiance is absolutely phobic about." "MEOW?!" The cat's jaw was hanging open. "You knew me and Kasumi, but didn't know Ranma? Yes, he's my fiance. Has been for six months now. He doesn't look like much, I'll admit, but he's got his good points." The cat face faulted again, then started whapping cards as soon as she recovered. "Curse?" Nabiki blinked. "Yes, he's got a curse. Turns into a girl." The cat continued to whap at cards. "Oh. 'fatherisapanda' So, your father is named Panda?" Kasumi was rewarded by the cat covering her head with her paws. "Oh." "Yes. Ranma's father turns into a panda." Nabiki glanced at the cat, still trying to come up with a faster method of communication. "So what kind of relation are you?" "Sister?!" Kasumi and Nabiki exclaimed in unison as the cat finished batting at cards. "You mean that Father...oh my!" "Six months ago this would have been ludicrous. It's quite interesting at how speaking to a cat that claims to be my sister has become almost the sort of thing one would expect." The cat continued to bat away at cards for a few moments. "Cursed food turned you into a cat?" Nabiki blinked. "Nobody remembers you? Hmmm. Sounds high level." "Meow?" "Of course I know something about curses," Nabiki chided the cat. "I have a fiancee who changes genders when splashed with water. What kind of idiot WOULDN'T research magic in general and curses in particular when you're engaged to evidence for both?" The cat blinked a couple of times and looked sheepish. "Cursed food, eh? And a mass forgetfulness spell or else some localized reality alteration focussing on your existence?" Nabiki had a thought. "Was it at the Nekohanten?" The cat shook her head. "Well, I've got to think about this. Try to stay out of sight and tomorrow we can get a start on whatever it is." "Na-Nabiki?" Akane scampered under the table only to nearly lose control at seeing Ranma come nervously into the room. Then Nabiki swept him in for a brief kiss that apparently took both of their minds away from felines of any stripe. "Urrrrrr," came a growl from under the table when the shock wore off. "Ranma, could you please go upstairs for a bit, I have to speak with you later." Ranma looked into her eyes, and whatever he saw there brought a tender smile to his lips. "You'll tell me what's going on later?" "Of course, Ranchan. 'No secrets from EITHER of us.'" Nabiki let out a sigh as she watched the view of Ranma walking up the stairs, then turned a more businesslike expression towards the table. "All right, you. Why were you growling at Ranma? You're not another childhood friend turned rival or friend-turned-rival-turned fiancee, are you?" Akane stuck her head out, ears flat as she looked towards where Ranma had walked off. The baka had never done any of that with HER. "Oh, I'd better get busy with supper." Kasumi made an excuse to leave the weirdness and retreat to her sanctuary. "Excuse me, Akane, but I want to spend some quality time with MY fiance and if you're going to get cured it will be under the condition that you leave all vengeance against MY iinazuke behind you. Do you understand?" Akane blinked, then returned to the cards, batting away quickly. "Whoa. Slow down. Geez, I'd almost think you were doing a Chestnut Fist. 'How come you're engaged to Ranma.' Well, this is interesting. You know about Ranma, his dad, me and Kasumi. You seem to be rather..." Nabiki stopped and blanched. "Not an illegitimate half-sister? A real sister? One that was engaged to Ranma?" The cat nodded to each question. Nabiki looked sick. "Kitty, I've never had any sisters besides Kasumi. Ranma showed up one day, to be engaged to one of the Tendos. Kasumi and me considered the situation and I was slightly less revolted by his being a girl half the time. I'm glad it happened though, as I've been able to get him to stop being a jerk and once you get past all the insecurities and overcompensation, he can be really sweet." The cat made a hacking noise. "It's true! And in return he's gotten me to open up and be more considerate of others. It's not an ideal relationship but we've come to care for each other very much, and neither of us wants anything to happen to that." Nabiki thought for a moment. "Okay, now what kind of food and where?" The cat began tapping away. "Candy. From a store that specializes in curses? Let me guess, you went in while looking for a cure for Ranma's curse and got a curse yourself instead?" "Meeowww!" The cat nodded. "Well we can check with them tomorrow for a cure for your curse." Nabiki gave the cat a sad look. "You're sure about the part that you're really my sister and you're really Ranma's fiancee?" "MEOW!" "And I suppose he does all those sweet things for you, and nuzzles you behind the ear telling you what a sweet and wonderful creature you are?" The cat facefaulted again then started angrily hissing and meowing and was intent on running up the stairs and having a chat with that two-timer. Four timer. Whatever. Nabiki intercepted the cat. "I don't think so. I'm really not sure how much of your story I believe..." The cat meowed as if indignant. "...but it's the duty of a martial artist to help those in need." Nabiki straightened. "Even if I'm NOT that good as a martial artist, I AM Heir to the Tendo School." "Meow?!" "Sorry, cat. Look, I've got to get working on the next installment of my manga, and the dojo really needs the money, you know. ESPECIALLY after that little spat with the Black Rose last week." "Meow?" Akane didn't remember Kodachi attacking her last week. Waitaminute. Working on the next installment of her manga? "You haven't read, 'The Sword & The Rose?' It's doing fairly well in the dojinshi circles. I may even be attracting the attention of one of the major publishers if rumor can be believed. It's an action-romance set in the period just before the Disarmament with an amnesiac ronin and this girl whom he rescues from brigands." Nabiki grinned and winked. "My art style needs work but quite a few people like the story. We can hope one of the big publishers gets interested, ne?" Akane blinked and settled back under the table. This was too weird. ---------------------- Morning came and a cat hidden under the house watched as Ranma fell into the pond with a splash. As a Nabiki who had never had a younger sister to be the Heir popped out briefly to assist her fiance, only to get dunked herself. As the two grinning teenagers proceeded to reduce a panda nearly to the status of throw rug. "Ranma, I've got a really tricky job I've got to work on today, so I'm going to have to back out of checking out that 'Rivalsan Dojo' place." "More work with your comic? I'm tellin' ya. More action sequences, that'll sell." "Now now, Ranma, I don't tell you how to do Anything Goes (much) and you don't advise me in what will sell. Besides, with Kodachi continually attacking for me being a 'wicked sorceress' who's 'cursed her Ranma sama to turn into a girl' and used 'diabolic means to ensnare his heart', I'd kinda like to get away from fight sequences for awhile." Akane lost sight of the two as they walked into the house. From her vantage though, she could clearly hear them as they moved overhead. She avoided Sasuke and continued to listen. "It's not something you need help with, is it?" "Nah. This is definitely something you can't help with. It involves a cat." "O-Oh." "Don't sweat it, Ranma. I plan on getting ahold of Shampoo or maybe her Great Grandmother. Besides, if this goes bad you can ride to the rescue at the last minute, per usual." Akane tried to identify the sounds that followed. What? They couldn't be! They wouldn't! It sounded like some heavy liplock going on! "Well, since you two are getting along so well, maybe I should..." Akane heard her father's voice trail off. "Well, yes, a martial artist has to exercise patience. Heh heh." "Take care, Nabiki-chan. Suki da." "Same here, Ranma-kun." Akane facefaulted, which had the effect of causing a small amount of dirt going up her nose and a resultant sneeze. Inside her currently feline brain, she was reeling. She had to wait for Nabiki, so she had plenty of time to think about it. How could this happen? Nabiki was only interested in profit, she'd always been badgering Ranma, selling him off, ready with a quick insult or to make his life miserable. And it had been Nabiki who had first nominated Akane as the one to marry Ranma after the curse had been demonstrated. Akane wasn't that used to being devious, and wasn't the sort to enjoy figuring out puzzles. She labored at understanding the scene she'd just observed now. Nabiki's overwhelming mania for quick profit and ruthlessness had only manifested AFTER Ranma had arrived. Nabiki had been interested in boys as something other than a source of income before Ranma's arrival. Before Ranma's arrival, she'd mainly taken bets and sold her skills at photography. Before, she had read a lot of manga and had shown interest in a few other subjects. Nabiki had briefly toyed with the idea of actually writing manga once, but had given it up after it became obvious that it would be an uphill battle. Had her continued training in the martial arts given her enough discipline that she had pursued it? Akane growled softly as she saw Ranma and Nabiki exit the house together, holding hands and apparently not even aware of it! Akane watched as Ranma ran off, Nabiki watching him from the gate with a wistful expression on her face. Akane tried to fit this Nabiki in with the one she had come to know over the past few months. Something clicked that Akane had only noticed briefly but on a few occasions within the household. Times when the mask slipped just a little. Nabiki goading Ranma towards one of the other girls by making it a challenge or point of pride, something Ranma couldn't possibly allow to go without giving his best effort. Times when things seemed to smooth out in the Akane-Ranma running battle, only to have Nabiki throw a little chaos into the mix. And sometimes, it had turned out that even when it wasn't directly Nabiki, the interruption had come at Nabiki's direction. Feline eyes widened and she let out an involuntary meow. Only someone who knew Nabiki as well as a sister would have noticed the shadow of an expression passing over the face of the "heartless mercenary" Nabiki had become. Just seen a few times here and there when the mask had slipped. Akane had noticed but not really paid attention at that time. They were expressions of sadness and jealousy. It couldn't be. Could it? "Oh hello, Ryouga." Akane looked around but couldn't see Ryouga. But there was P-chan! Akane wondered if P-chan was Nabiki's pet now, she seemed to have everything else of hers. "Bweee?" "Ryouga, I could use your help today." "Buqiii!" "Tut tut, Ryouga-kun. You might be interested in this one. Someone you don't know was cursed by some store's product to turn into a little black cat." P-chan began growling. Akane was amazed at how well trained P-chan was. It was almost as if he was having a conversation with Nabiki. "If you're blaming Ranma for this, don't bother. He doesn't know about it. Now, I will be going there to help this unfortunate girl get uncursed. The idea being is that if this store sells the curses, the cures are also likely to be available, though I'd expect the cures to be at a significant markup." "Buqiii." "Because I would expect curses to be easier than cures, also because the demand for a cure would be rather more than that of a curse. Supply and demand and relative value." "Squee." "And if they can cure one kind of curse, maybe they can cure other curses." P-chan had turned away from Nabiki and had closed his eyes. Now he was giving Nabiki his full attention. If Akane didn't know better, she could have sworn that P-chan's eyes were glimmering with tears. "Thought that would get your attention." There were deserts less dry than Nabiki's tone. "In any case, Ryouga, sit your butt down. I'll get some hot water, and the nice kitty cat can take us to that store." "Mrow?" Akane watched Nabiki enter the house, returning a moment later with a kettle and a thermos. "I got two of those 'instant hot water dispensers' a couple of months ago. The one in the living room has a coin slot attatched. That's Mister Saotome's. There's another one I keep for emergencies." Nabiki assumed the cat was asking about the quick availability of hot water. Nabiki smirked at the cat and added that there were times when she really wanted Ranma to be in his male form. Akane grumbled a little at the suggestive tone. She got it already. Nabiki poured water down onto P-chan, eliciting a momentary hiss from Akane. P-chan didn't need...a bath?! A moment later, Ryouga was attacked by a thoroughly ticked off housecat. ------------------------------- "I figure it's the same thing with Ranma and you. You don't know what you did, but you did something to her. Missed an appointment or something, and she swore vengeance. Etcetera, etcetera." Nabiki smirked. This was just too amusing to have Ryouga hit with the same sort of grudge that the lost boy had against Ranma. "We're here," Ryouga noted, tugging a little against the tether that Nabiki had insisted on tying to his belt. Akane blinked. The Nekohanten? "This won't take long." Nabiki winked at the cat. Nabiki entered the cafe, exiting a moment later with Shampoo. "Of course Shampoo ready to assist sister Amazon with problem. Maybe find cure for own curse?" Akane twitched at the reference to a "sister amazon." The sooner she got back to normal and left this insanity behind, the better. After a few moments, her curiosity got the better of her. It took a little trial and error but finally Nabiki got the idea. "Shampoo was my 'rival' up until last month. This old rival of Ranma's showed up, promising to make him suffer for something that his father apparently did." "Meow," said Akane, nodding. That would have been Ukyou. "Anyway, this guy was going to kill Ranma, especially when he found out that I was his fiancee and that we were getting along." Nabiki seemed to flush slightly and Akane wondered exactly what the two had been doing when Ukyou had found them. "So the usual challenge and fight like with Ryouga here, except this guy is REALLY angry." "What, you mean I'm not? I've been to Hell due to Ranma, and I won't rest until he's paid for it!" "During the fight I see this load of explosive tempura flakes heading my way. I get out of the way, evasion is a specialty of the Tendo School, but then Shampoo here gets tagged. So, private grudge match or not, me and Shampoo get involved in the fight. Ranma goes into just pure rage when I get attacked, but then has to sit on the sidelines when me and Shampoo go to town on Mr Challenger." "Meow?" They didn't know Ukyou was a girl? And what did this have to do with being a sister Amazon? "Well, I read a lot. Research stuff online, too. So, I see Elder Cologne in attendence. Me and Shampoo here have just fought together against a common enemy. So in front of the Elder, I place a wound I got from a flying spatula on a similar one from Shampoo. Then I take some sweat from Shampoo and taste it." A cat made a disagreeable noise. Still, Akane was listening as she might be able to use this herself. "At this point, Cologne's eyes are as big as saucers. You should'a seen it. Then I petition Cologne to become Shampoo's blood sister as we have shared blood and salt in the defeat of a common enemy." "Shampoo not know about rules. Never have blood-sister. Linlin and Ranran close, but not go through this." "Well, when I found out about the marriage laws and the bit about outsider women, I knew there had to be loopholes. They couldn't possibly go about indiscriminately killing and marrying outsiders. This was one, and when I saw my chance I took it. Cologne HAD to accept the petition, and give me three tasks which I had to complete. They couldn't be flat out impossible or kill me directly or indirectly, though. The Trial Of War, The Trial Of Skill, and The Trial Of The Heart. "The first one was to defeat Shampoo. I had to make it other than a physical combat, but I managed to get through the bakeoff with some help from Kasumi. The Trial Of Skill was more difficult. The Breaking Point training. I think I've still got bruises. I just don't heal as fast as Ryouga. "The Trial Of The Heart is always the most difficult. Cologne used some nightmare incense, trapped me in a dream where I was a minor supporting character watching..." Nabiki's face turned pale and she shot a glance towards the cat. "Oh no." Shampoo gave a worried glance to her sister. "Nabiki win Trial. Make ultimate sacrifice in dream. Give up on own life, own happiness, for the better of tribe. Shampoo have to stay over for a few nights until nightmares stop. Was fun. Was also good get away from stupid Mousse." Akane led the small group through a series of streets, finally arriving at the small alleyway. Her thoughts were whirling. How could she make use of this new knowledge herself? "Lemon Street, Ecchi Way, Kimyo Plaza?" Nabiki's eyes narrowed. "I don't remember these in Nerima." "Meow!" Akane stopped at the door to a small store. "Meow! Meow!" "Spells R Us?" Nabiki frowned. "Hmmm. Nothing to do but give it a try, I suppose." "NABIKI TENDO! PREPARE TO DIE!" Akane-neko stared, wide eyed and ears flattened, at the figure that had just leapt down into the alley. "For what you and that bimbo have done to me," Ukyou drew her spatula, "death!" "Yeah, right, Kuonji." Nabiki felt a little better flanked by Ryouga and Shampoo. "You're the one who used oil, electric heating devices, and that tempura mixed with gunpowder crap! It's your OWN fault that it blew up in your face when you tried to hit me with that stuff." Her face swathed in bandages, and still wearing her boy disguise, Ukyou screamed in rage at the three confronting her. "My fault?! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" She ripped the bandages away in a sweeping gesture. "Pah! Is nothing. Hair grow back eventually in most places. Doctors in Japan know how fix scars." Nabiki was looking a little green. "It doesn't change that this was YOUR grudge fight, and YOUR quest for vengeance. YOUR tools and YOUR lack of judgement. If you hadn't attacked me, you wouldn't have been fighting me and Shampoo, and you wouldn't have had one of your own bombs explode in your face." "I'll get you, Nabiki Tendo! Sooner or later, you'll pay for this." Ukyou fled. Nabiki held up a hand to prevent Shampoo from running after the target. "You let him go?" Shampoo asked after a moment. "Why?" "It's a trap. The Black Rose and the Blue Thunder, Kodachi and Tatewaki Kuno are nearby. Smell the air. There's a faint hint of that perfume she wears. Just another ambush. Trust me on that, kiddo, those two try something like this on a weekly basis at least. Though with all three of them cooperating now, we'll have to be doubly careful." ----------------------------------------- Chapter 2: more Akane eye-openers in "kid in a candy store." ----------------------------------------- A bell on the door jangled, as a number of people moved into the cluttered shop. A black cat led the way, stopping at a rack of candy and meowing repeatedly. The next one in was a short haired girl of seventeen, who moved with a slight limp but otherwise had the typical grace of a skilled martial artist. A tether from her hand led to the belt of a confused looking boy who had a bandana and was carrying an umbrella. The final member of this group was a purple-haired Chinese girl who had the expression of a warrior who has just stepped behind enemy lines. A man in a bathrobe stepped out of a room in the back. "Ah, Akane Tendo. So nice to get a return customer. We don't get many, you know. And you brought your sister Nabiki, the eternally lost Ryouga Hibiki, and Shampoo of the Nichieju Chinese Amazons." "How do you..." Nabiki started then waved it off. "Let me guess, a spell on the door. Gives you identities and some basic dossier on those who ring the bell." The old man adjusted his glasses. "So nice to do business with someone who doesn't go through the usual spiel." "Then you already know we're here to see about getting cures for curses, the one that this cat picked up particularly." "She should have read the fine print on the back." The wizard shrugged. "We're not responsible for problems that occur as a result of use or misuse of our products." Shampoo looked up from where she was examining the candy rack. "All candies look normal, but little print in Cantonese on back. Almost need magnifying glass to read." The wizard shrugged again. Nabiki didn't waste time threatening a wizard capable of turning a girl into a cat then rewriting history so that the girl had never existed. "How much to cure the kitty cat?" "Difficult to say." The wizard adjusted his glasses again and looked directly into Nabiki's eyes. "Are you sure you want to do that, though? Turning her back puts everything back the way it was." "MEOW!" "What's different?" Ryouga blinked. Not much could have changed, he didn't feel different. "The transformation apparently erased from existence a little sister of mine, apparently named Akane Tendo. Just from the questions she's asked and reactions she's displayed I can make a few guesses. May I?" This last was directed to the wizard. When he nodded, Nabiki continued. "Akane is apparently the Heir to the Tendo School, not I. She is also apparently engaged to Ranma, doesn't like him very much, doesn't like Ryouga at all, and is a fair English student." The wizard cleared his throat. "Ryouga sleeps with Akane in his cursed form as her pet 'P-chan'. Ukyou is NOT scarred or insane and is seen as one of Ranma's fiancees. Nabiki never got into singing, drawing manga, OR the martial arts. I also don't have anything labelled 'antidote' but perhaps something else will approximate what you're looking for?" "I get to sleep indoors," Ryouga said with a wistful smile. "How could Ukyou be..." Nabiki's eyes narrowed as pieces of a puzzle clicked together. "He's a she? Hmmmm. Maybe another Jusenkyo victim. All righty then." "How much this candy?" Shampoo dumped a few assorted pieces on the counter. "SHAMPOO!" To say Nabiki was alarmed was quite understating it. Shampoo smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Candy called 'Kit Kat' change girl into kitty cat, yes? So what you think happen if Ranma in girl form eat 'Big Hunk' bar? Or if girl-cat have 'Nerds' or 'Girl Scout Cookies:Thin Mints' or maybe underdeveloped Amazon sister eat 'Whoppers'?" Nabiki glared for a moment. "I am quite happy with my natural amount of 'talent', Shampoo." "That not what you say when looking at them dresses last week." Ryouga quietly added another "Big Hunk" bar and a "Three Musketeers" to the pile. "Waitaminute, Shampoo, if we cure Akane here, then you've paid for something, but we set up a paradox because if she's cured then we wouldn't have had a reason to come." Nabiki winced as all the implications and problems of mucking about with your own history started occurring to her, absent mindedly putting a set of coins on the counter to pay for the purchases. "The past timeline in which she, not I, is your warrior sister..." The sad look passed into Nabiki's eyes again as she considered what she was doing. Would she go back to being as she was before meeting Ranma? Would she still at least have her artwork and musical skills? Or would it be as in the Trial Of The Heart and she would be a mere shadow trapped in a two- dimensional life, forced to watch other people being happy but never able to grasp it herself? Having erected walls around herself to protect herself, but being cold and lonely and not that well protected after all. The cat in discussion would have corrected Nabiki if she could, but couldn't, so instead just settled for sniffing at the assorted candies. If all it took was one bite... This world was too crazy for her. ----------------------- Akane staggered and put out a hand to steady himself against the furo wall. Some curious dislocation continued to make itself felt. Groaning, Akane got to the door and wondered where his... uh oh. His scream brought everyone else in the household. ------------------------ "A curse, Akira?" Sixteen year old Nabiki frowned and shook her head. "Even with all the craziness Ranma here brought in, that's a little difficult to swallow." "It's Akane." The sullen nineteen year old corrected. "That's a GIRL'S name." Nabiki's hand slapped down on the table. "YOU ARE A GUY! You are NOT Ranma and you can't change genders with water temperature." "Uhm, it's not a Jusenkyo curse." Akira/Akane looked down from his impressive height at his sisters, father, and a thoroughly bewildered looking pair of freeloading houseguests. "All I need to do is go back to the shop, and I can try something else. No problem." "AIREN!" The cry came from the backyard and the latter part was considerably increased in volume from the first part. Akane sat back, ready to get angry at Ranma for being glomped by Shampoo. Unfortunately... *GLOMP!* "Akira happy to see Shampoo?" The Amazon snuggled against her big brave husband with the chiseled musculature. A moment later her eyes widened and she glanced down. "Akira IS happy to see Shampoo! Shampoo was beginning to worry that maybe Akira no like girls. Shampoo HAPPY!" The Amazon Glomp resumed. Akira wasn't happy about her/his body going off and reacting to a suggestively snuggling Amazon without consulting him about it. "Oh dear," Akira's seventeen year old sister Kasumi said after a moment. "Shouldn't you two take it upstairs if you're going to try that?" "Ohohohohohohohoho!" Sinister laughter echoed through the house, causing Akira to wince and start pleading that what he was imagining wasn't really going to happen. A swirl of black rose petals, and a leotard clad Kodachi appeared. "Halt, you common tramp, and release my Akira-sama!" "C'mon, Nabiki, we don't wanna be late," said Ranma with a weary sigh. He had no idea why Akira was doing all this, but ever since the boy had insulted his girl form that first day as a "short and scrawny sniveling little brat" - they hadn't gotten along too well. "So true, my dear Ranma, so true. We'll just leave the lovebirds alone..." Nabiki smirked. Akira making fun of Nabiki's relationship with Ranma had stopped after he had accidently beaten Shampoo, and catching Kodachi that once had set big brother up for a whole slew of problems. "AAAAAA! Shampoo, let go of me! Kodachi, no, not the ribbon! Not in the house, you guys!" Akane was beginning to get the faintest hint of sympathy for what Ranma went through. ----------------------------------------- A thoroughly bedraggled Akira Tendo thwacked his head into the doorframe of Spells R Us and wondered how things could be this bad. Being 6'4" and having a sculpted physique, he understood was part of the "Big Hunk" candy's transformation. This wasn't hard to understand. How to fix the current problem and not end up worse off, that was the difficult part. Trying to tell Shampoo to go back to China had ended when Akira had looked down into that happy, loving, face and realized that Shampoo had it even worse for Akira than she had for Ranma in the "real" timeline. Akane/Akira just hadn't had the heart. "So, Miss Tendo, what did you want to try this time?" It was the same wizard as from before. "The cure." Briefly, Akane entertained the notion of reaching across the counter, and beating the snot out of this miserable little man until such time as the wizard gave up the cure. "You wouldn't want to try anything rash, Miss Tendo. The last person who did ended up in a mess a great deal worse than your current difficulties." Akira frowned, realizing that the telepathy spell must still be going. THAT cut down an already slim list of options. "Aunt Jemima" pancake mix. Akane didn't think so, though maybe Kasumi could make some for Genma. Maybe with that big bottle of "Mrs Butterworth's" syrup to go with them. The old-fashioned soda machine in the corner had a number of cans. Some were western drinks: Mr Pibb, Dr Pepper, Sprite, Orange Crush. Others were Japanese: Pocari Sweat, Calpis, Kirin Gold. A few bottles of some gaijin health drink under the brand name of "Sobe" read "Power", "Wisdom", "Energy", or "Eros." This last word sounded vaguely familiar to Akira. Maybe it had something to do with a cure. The candy rack held some things that promised any number of things. There were two varieties of Girl Scout cookies, and one variety of prepackaged Brownies. Chunky, 3 Musketeers, Nerds, Everlasting Gobstoppers, Runts, Peppermint Patties, Mars bars, Reese's Pieces, Whoppers, Skor, Kit-kats, Big Hunks, Tiger's Milk, Lemon Warheads, Purple Passion Pop Rocks, Pixie Sticks, Koala Crunchies, Pocky sticks, Baby Ruth, Oh Henry, Sweet Tarts. Nothing that immediately screamed "CURE" to Akane's eye. There were costumes hanging from racks. Harem girl costumes, French maid costumes, bunny costumes, football player costumes, horse costumes, a blue Sailor Moon-style seifuku, even a "Lina Inverse" costume from "Slayers" and a costume similar to what was in Kasumi's anime magazine as a "Reiko Ayanami" plug suit. Computer programs were listed on a blackboard. VR versions of "Graduation" and "Tomb Raider." Dating simulators and FFVII. A game called "Life Sugoroku Special" and something else called "Monopoly." Another blackboard had a list of odd things like "inflatable date" and specials on catering. A shelf of videos turned up titles like "Catgirl Nukunuku", "Bambi", "Dumbo", "Debbie Does Dallas", "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Gremlins", "Cutey Honey Flash volumn I", an empty area marked "Ranma 1/2" (must be all checked out), and "Fuchigi Yuugi." Akira frowned, realizing that he had to do something. The way things were were getting entirely too comfortable. It was beginning to feel "right" to be this tall and muscular fellow with the gleaming smile. Time for Akane to return, but how? Akira looked around the shop, ignoring the shopkeeper's smirk. If Akira had figured it out, returning to normal was almost impossible. So the next decision would be: a) go for as close as possible to her original timeline and hope for the best. Becoming a girl would be fairly easy. Becoming the right one might be difficult. Maybe that "Debbie" tape was a travelogue, she could always get a flight back. Or maybe the "Sweet Tarts" or "Peppermint Patty"- those seemed safe. Then there was the other approach. b) screw the status quo, find one that was better off than the original. After hours in this whacked out reality, Akira realized that damn near everyone was happy. Kodachi and Shampoo were chasing after Akira, who apparently had found the attention a mix of embarrassing and kind of nice. Tatewaki was pursuing Nabiki and the Pigtailed girl. Kasumi was on the Furinkan Cooking Club and a martial arts bakeoff was scheduled for later this week against Kolkhoz High School's Midori Chiba. Ukyou and Nabiki were both interested in Ranma. Shampoo's death-hunt against female Ranma had been called off because of the relationship between Ranma and her 'airen' - though occasional hostilities still occurred. Tsubasa still showed up every blue moon to pursue Ukyou. Akira had found that instead of the craziness swirling around Ranma, that there were three centers to the madness in this odd world. Ranma, Akira, and Kasumi. Kasumi being pursued by two odd suitors herself. At least they didn't show up very often, as they were based OUT of Nerima. Akira was the Heir to the Tendo School. Kasumi was fairly skilled but preferred defensive and avoidance tactics as she seemed to have trouble with the idea of hurting other people no matter what other insanities were going on around her. Nabiki had never shown that much interest in the martial arts beyond as a form of exercise. Looking around in desperation, Akira felt more of Akane beginning to slip away and made a choice. ----------------------------------- Chapter 3: A Fistful of Akanes ----------------------------------- The wizard merely smirked, looking past the transformed former sixteen year old Japanese girl. A sign displayed where almost everyone would ignore it, read "Only Three Per Customer." Besides, after he was done here, he could go visit Juuban. ============================= CHOOSE YOUR OWN ENDING! Yes, this was my attempt to give Akane equal play after "A Little Sense" did the same for Ranma. So choose the ending that you, the reader, like. (Original, Crispy, Extra Crispy, BBQ, or Honey-Roasted.) Option One: How this was originally planned. Akira/Akane thought deeply about this, noting only idly the growing impatience of the wizard behind the counter. In both the "World Without Akane" and his current reality, there were people who could be said to be reasonably happier. People like Nabiki who actually had outside interests beyond making money now. People like Ranma who were being challenged to grow up and act in a responsible manner as opposed to merely being confronted. Akira smiled, straightened, and nodded to the suddenly startled wizard. And left the shop without touching anything. Being a huge guy pursued by Kodachi and Shampoo was strange, but if her family was happier... --------------- Akane shook her head and went into a coughing fit. "Well done, my daughter." "All right, sis!" Akane looked up, seeing Cologne and Nabiki. Things began to filter back into her mind. The petition to end Shampoo's pursuit of Ranma within the Laws of the Amazons. Akane petitioning Cologne to become an Amazon blood-sister of Shampoo. The three Trials or Ordeals that had to be overcome. Nabiki was present because this had come out of Akane paying her older sister to find a way to solve the problem with the Amazons. There had been the Trial Of War where Akane had to fight a conjured evil twin of herself, one that had every nasty impulse and habit. The towering rage of her opponent had given the other an advantage at first, but Akane had (with effort) kept her calm and had won at the end. Facing THAT had given her some uncomfortable insight into how she acted on occasion. The Trial Of Skill where Akane had learned the Breaking Point. Akane had a sneaking suspicion that Cologne had enjoyed swinging those boulders into her repeatedly. Two weeks, and she still hurt in a few places. The Trial Of The Heart. "Did I win? I couldn't remember. It was like it was last year right after Ukyou came..." Cologne smirked, oddly enough echoing Nabiki. "If you had remembered it was a Trial, then it wouldn't have been a true Trial. You would have chosen based on that knowledge instead of choosing truly. You sacrificed your own happiness and existence for the good of your family - your own tribe. "Welcome to the Amazon Tribe, daughter. Shampoo is not happy, but will come around. The Kiss of Marriage and the Kiss Of Death are hereby voided as there is now an Amazon with prior claim to Ranma Saotome." Cologne left then, to leave the two sisters to talk and to prepare the feast that marked the new induction of an Amazon. The Tribe would be stronger for having Akane in it. Though she would have preferred giving Shampoo what she wanted, Cologne would settle for this. Akane nodded absently noting the reference. As Cologne was Matriarch, all Amazons could be said to be her daughters. It was interesting to have a "mother" of sorts again. The thought of calling Cologne "grandmother" was kind of creepy though. "So, sis, how did it go? Cologne didn't give any details. What did you see, what did you experience?" Akane looked at her sister with new eyes, having seen things that remained with her now and wondering how much of what she had seen had been her own mind filling in the blanks. She looked at her arm and realized that a cut there had been put on Akira by Kodachi's ribbon. "Nabiki, do you remember when you tried doing your own manga back in Junior High? I think I need to talk to you..." ********************************* ending # 2 by Nicholas Leifker: His hands hovered over the candy bars for a moment. It was tempting, the 'Whoppers' especially so. After all, with those, he'd never have to worry about insults concerning her figure. 'Peppermint Patties' and the Girl Scout 'Thin Mints' were also appealing, as they tended to point toward more feminine results. Unfortunately, he couldn't go that route - not yet. If there was one thing he'd learned about magic from his time with Ranma, it was that it didn't want to let go. He would be changed, one way or another; it was just up to him as to how. The Akane Tendo who walked out of the store would be different from the Akane Tendo who first came in. So. How did he want to change? He crossed his arms; he knew there wasn't much time left. Already he was beginning to forget. He had to decide - immediately. The answer came on him in an instant. He smiled, grabbed the item, and placed it on the counter. ----------------------- Akane Tendo hummed a soft tune as she walked down the street. She was back; no, she was better than back. She would have leapt up onto the fence, if she hadn't been wearing a skirt. For the first time in her life, she felt truly alive. Her life felt... expanded, like all she had seen before was merely the surface. Every little secret was hers for the taking; the world was a far more understanding place than she was used to. Her life, in short, was hers again and then some. The yowl of a furious cat got her attention, and she turned toward the source. A bunch of ragamuffin kids were torturing a cat; Shampoo by the look of it. She ran over to them, and pushed them away. "Beat it, kids! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?" The kids, as are wont to in the face of authority, ran. One gave her the raspberry; she ignored it. Shampoo was her major concern; she had to make sure she was all right. She frowned, though, when she got a look at Shampoo's face. There was a bandage covering her head, as though she had been hurt before. She peeled off the bandage - it was loose from her struggles - and gasped. Beneath was a shining crescent moon. Shampoo-neko blinked, then focused her eyes on her - a stare that seemed to pass through her. "Akane, we need talk. Now." ********************************* ending suggested by Rick Robinson: (even though it went in a completely different direction than either of us intended. It is, however, a fairly typical Spells R Us style of ending.) The door jangled and in walked Ranma and his fiancee. "So you were serious, Akira?" Nabiki frowned slightly, trying to picture her older brother as a younger sister and failing. "You make fun of me turnin' into a girl all the time, and you are one." Ranma shook his head. "That's just too ....uhm." "I think you're looking for 'ironic'," supplied Nabiki after a moment. "Well, whether you're sister or brother, you're family." Akira shrugged after a moment. "Yeah, but this is somethin' I gotta do myself. I have to figure out a way that I'm as close to me as possible without screwing everything else up." "Do you do wishes?" Ranma asked the man across the counter. "Yes, but it wouldn't cure her of the transformation directly." "How about indirectly?" Ranma was familiar with the tactic. If the opponent had an iron defense, you found a way around it. Everyone blinked at Ranma coming up with an idea. Nabiki recovered slightly faster, reasoning correctly that hanging around with her, he had been challenged to show more intelligence. "Well, as long as it didn't involve a direct paradox, like never having visited the store." The wizard allowed, getting fascinated despite himself. He placed an object like a solid soap bubble out on the counter. "Twenty thousand yen." Ranma pulled out his recent winnings and laid them on the counter. He restrained himself from immediately wishing that he was cured of his curse. It was difficult, though, very difficult. "So how should I word this to make it indirectly change me back?" "How about if ya wish that the cure for yer condition was there in yer hand. That way the wish is actin' on the cure and not on yer curse." There was a brief moment after which everyone (except Ranma) slowly picked themselves up from their mass face fault. Nabiki smiled proudly at her iinazuke and said in a low voice that "he CAN be taught." The wizard shook his head and just reminded himself that it was the unexpected that kept him in this business. Ranma managed to look slightly insulted at Nabiki's observation. Holding the soap bubble in his hands, Akira opened his mouth and considered. "I wish that everything was back to normal." The wizard began to laugh, hearing defeat being snatched from the jaws of victory. ------------------------------ Akane stretched as she got off the couch, time to help mother fix breakfast. It was good that things had gotten back to normal. The sounds of Kasumi getting ready for a day at the office reached Akane, and that was Nabiki almost sleepwalking with her toothbrush sticking out of her mouth. Her father was, of course, off to work already. Like all normal Japanese fathers, he worked from before dawn until long after sundown. That weirdness that her father had tried to inflict on the family had almost been forgotten. A sad expression flickered over Akane's face at the memory. An arranged marriage to some weird old buddy's son had been decidedly strange. Still, Akane's mother had put a stop to THAT soon enough. Then made some discrete inquiries and found the boy's mother through the simple exercise of finding out the woman's name and then calling information. Such a weird family. On finding out the boy was cursed to turn into a girl, the mother had demanded that father and son commit seppuku. How terribly old fashioned. It had taken weeks to get the bloodstains out of the dojo. But now everything was back to normal, and Akane could try to meet Tate- chan later. He didn't seem to notice anyone as normal and boring as her, but Akane had her hopes. *********************** ending #4 suggested by Jared Ornstead: Akira picked up the "Debbie Does Dallas" videotape and considered it. Would this turn him into a gaijin? Akira put the video back on the shelf, as remaining a member of his family was an important consideration. "Gojira" was likewise passed over, though this version of the familiar story seemed to look rather more like an oversized iguana. "Alien" was probably about gaijin, and was turned down for the same reason as the "Dallas" video. "Better off dead" didn't sound appealing at all. Finally he saw it. One of his favorite movies. A Disney version of the old story. Akira put his hand on the copy of "Beauty & The Beast" and cast another glance around the store. Other than the "princess" costume, nothing else really seemed to pull at him. Maybe he could get Ranma to watch it with him. That sounded like a winner. ------------------------ The wizard checked around eight that evening and smiled at the results. Naturally, it had gone quite well by his own standards, if not by any of the principals in this little play. Ranma, of course, had become the Beauty. A demure and well built young woman. Akira, of course, was the Beast. He just loved a twisted ending. ********************************** ending #5: suggested by Connie Decker Akira wondered what to do and how to do it. Being a nineteen year old boy was rather unnerving for a formerly sixteen year old girl named Akane. Akira's gaze alighted on the Girl Scout cookies. This might work. There were actually three kinds here. "Thin Mints" sounded good, after all he wouldn't have to watch his weight. The second kind contained coconut, which he had gotten rather sick of after the Principal had donated nearly a ton of the stuff to the school cafeteria. They were putting it in almost everything. Akira was unfamiliar with the name of this last kind of cookie. Opening the box, he tried one. After all it wouldn't take effect until after it was paid for, right? ------------------------ Alysse steadied herself against the kitchen cupboard and realized that the Spells R Us wizard must have done something, but what? Losing herself in the familiar task of preparing lunches, Alysse (short for Alyssande) realized that she had taken a nibble out of a Girl Scout cookie called a "Scandinavian" but that this probably hadn't had much of an effect. She examined herself, looking for anything that might have changed. No, she was still eleven years old, and of Scandinavian descent. She was still the adopted daughter of Soun Tendo, adopted due to an old debt of honor that Soun had owed her parents. Alysse caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, of her long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Things that marked her as being an outsider here in Japan, though she was sufficiently charismatic that she had some popularity anyway. She had become accepted by her new family, though, and that was of primary importance. Alysse could see Ranma and big sister Nabiki beating the stuffings out of Ranma's father. Kasumi was studying, now in her second year of college. Alysse was glad that she had been able to take over Kasumi's duties so that the older girl could go ahead and pursue her dreams. Yes, Alysse decided with a nod, she must have gotten it right. ************************** end, roll credits. thanks for reading gregg