Though people in this story mean well, or claim they mean well, they do
things you would not wish to see done in your own home at your own
dinner table. Neither would I. So please protect the underaged at your
dinner table from reading about such things. And if you are underaged,
please protect yourself. That's what the law in its wisdom requires of
you. Good luck, and bon appetit!
New Hairdo
by Vickie Tern
I know I looked especially nice as the Maitre d' seated us. I was wearing
my black sleeveless shift with silver-threaded tracery, the one that glides
past just a suggestion of my hips and flows to a flirty hem just above my
knees. Simple silver jewelry, including the drop earrings April gave me
for my last birthday. Elegant, restrained, perfect. I felt the quiet pride any
girl feels who's confident she looks her best.
On top of it all my brand new hairstyle. You know what they say, change
your hairdo and change your life. Well, I liked my life, but even so, April
had asked Joanne to cut it a lot shorter, so Joanne had shaped it radically
in back and then fluffed it up into a cute flip. She'd promised me it would
be a lot easier to care for than my old big-haired, down-to-the-shoulders
layered cut. I'd never again need to set my hair with rollers when I want
people to notice me, she'd said. Just blow-dry and go, and when you
think of it, comb it with your fingers. It was the kind of cut women favor
after their second or third baby, when their families demand all their time
and they can't fuss, women who nevertheless want to look devastatingly
feminine. And she'd given me bangs. I'd never before worn bangs, but
they made my face smaller, more pixieish. Joanne told me my new look
was fabulous. I wasn't so sure at first, turning my head from side to side
in her salon mirror. It didn't seem to be me at all, but someone more pert
and capable, cute but with her own mind, an independent woman with her
own goals.
It was all rather sudden. April had called my office only a few hours
earlier and told me Joanne had just found an opening in her schedule, and
I should leave work early and stop by her salon to get the sassy new
hairstyling she'd wanted for me. "Then go home and make yourself
beautiful, sweetie," she'd told me, "so I can admire the whole new you.
When I get home I'll change too and we'll have an intimate little
candlelight supper at Le Cirque. So change to something dressy. I've
made the reservations already. I'm dying to see how you'll look. Also, I
have something wonderful to tell you."
I'd had to push a lot of appointments into next week to get to Joanne's in
time for my appointment and then get home and get ready. I was thinking
that whatever April had on her mind, it better be worth it. In fact I was
still figuring out how to handle next week's schedule when April arrived
home, called for an immediate display of the new me, told me I was
gorgeous, and then told me to grab my purse, we had to leave for the
restaurant right away.
It was still early, the last traces of sunset visible behind the bank tower
when I gave the car to the valet parking attendant and smiled at him to
encourage him to be careful with it. He smiled back. I still hadn't gotten
used to the notion that young men are eager to please any woman who
looks well turned out. They're so impressionable. And the night was still
young. I wondered what April had in mind for us afterward. She'd been
getting me accustomed to flirting with men lately, taking me to bars with
small combos playing dance music, showing me how to accept invitations
from men and then laugh and accept their flattery while I danced in their
arms, April watching us from our booth and sipping her one drink. She
wanted me to feel comfortable with them, she said, though she herself
always refused invitations when asked. She just didn't feel sociable,
she'd say. But we'd giggle delightedly enough afterward, when I'd tell
her what seductive line this man or that man had tried on me, and she gave
me even more pointers about fending them off and yet still seeming
attractive to them. It was harmless entertainment for both of us. She
called it my "finishing school."
I forgot about work when we entered Le Cirque's exquisite little waiting
area, off the rather grand lobby of the our best hotel An hour's
pampering at the beauty salon is supposed to be restorative, I know, but
my mind had been so busy with rescheduling that I hadn't even bothered
to watch as Joanne sculpted my new style, nor had I listened to her chatter
about it, "coy but not too innocent, you'll see" I think she said. Nor had
I heard anything at all about who'd gotten divorced or seduced since my
last visit. I glanced again at April while we waited for the Maitre d' to find
her name on his list. She was looking straight ahead with a strange look
on her face, solemn yet exultant, like a cat preparing to pay a condolence
call on a canary.
Her mind was partly elsewhere, but she tried to seem attentive now and
then. "That's a new design for your eye make-up too, isn't it, honey?"
she asked. "That wide-eyed, little girl look? It does look fetching with
your new hairdo. Contrasty. Joanne's idea?"
"No, mine," I told her. "I thought with my new hair style I should change
everything else too. Become altogether a new woman." I flourished both
hands with a little wrist flip, to signal a display completed and waiting for
applause.
"Yes, I suppose," April replied. I wasn't sure she'd heard me. Then,
"Yes, that's what I had in mind for you too, dear."
We'd were seated at an intimate little corner table, knees tucked under
snowy tablecloths, napkins decorously draped on our laps, leaning toward
each other, fingernails and silverware gleaming, our dinners ordered and
our second cocktails just arrived, when April finally dropped her bomb.
"Comfy?" she asked?
"Yes, of course, honey. Why do you ask?"
"Because I'd like you to be. I'm about to say something to you you won't
like, but I have to say it, and I don't want you to feel any needless
discomfort."
She used words like "discomfort" to her patients when she knew the
surgical procedures she was about to perform were painful. The word
helped to minimize their suffering in her own mind.
"Out with it!" That's what I'd say to clients when they waffled about
something they didn't quite want to tell me. It sounds abrupt, but it
shocks them into talking and saves time. I suppose April's professional
language prompted me to reply in kind. She once told me that no woman
would ever be that inconsiderate. A woman would always let a person
say whatever needs saying in whatever time he or she -- usually she --
needs to say it. It's only men who are more direct. Dressed the way I
was, looking the way I knew I looked, I knew immediately that the
statement was rude and regretted it. April meant to be kind.
"I'm sorry, April," I apologized, patting my lips with my napkin, thinking
vaguely that I should have had Joanne re-do my nails for tonight, to use
color rather than the clear polish I wore weekdays at the office. My mind
still wasn't fully concentrated.
"Don't be, for once. What I have to say is also harsh."
"Must you say it, then?"
"Yes."
I waited.
"Les, this will come as a shock to you. I know you've done everything
you could to please me. Gone along with my every whim. So please
understand that this isn't your fault. It isn't anybody's fault, I suppose.
It's just the way it is."
"The way what is?"
I began to feel uneasy. She'd called me "Les." When I'm dressed and
made up to look nice she always calls me "Leslie" or "darling girl," so I'll
feel relaxed and reassured. But this was "Les." The name people called
me at the office. My business identity. My male name. She hadn't used
"Les" in a long time, several years, not since I'd agreed to live at home
with her as a woman, not a man. To be a woman everywhere except my
office.
"Les, I'm divorcing you. I've already started the proceedings. You'll get
your formal notice in another day or two."
"What!!"
She sat silent now. It was said. She watched my eyes, done up in that
brand new baby-stare look. She knew how to look through them and read
my real feelings. She also knew my "What!!" was filler, a stall for time
while I felt for a suitable response. Of course I'd heard her.
She also knew I knew that whenever she reached a point of decision,
further argument was useless. That decisiveness was what made her a
superb surgeon, one of her colleagues had once told me. She'd first
consider every contingency, then decide what to do, and then do it and
never look back!
"Why? Why, April?" My heart sank down deep into my gut. My
tummy, I corrected myself. I could scarcely breathe!
"Why, Leslie? Why? My dear, just look at you!"
I was bewildered. "Look at what?" I asked. She glanced around, and I
realized I'd better lower my voice. That that was why she'd chosen this
place, this time, to tell me. "Look at what, April?" I repeated, in a softer,
more appropriate tone. "I'm beautiful. You said so yourself just now,
with my new hairdo and all. And I am, I can feel it! I'm what you've
wanted me to be!" She didn't respond. "April honey," I added, as if to
attract her attention. I realized I was beginning to plead, and that pleading
was pointless.
"That's true, Leslie. And that's the problem. You're no longer a man!"
She spoke as if to a child, explaining the obvious. "I married a man, and
you're now something else. So it's time we went our separate ways."
"I'm what you made me!" A desperate cry, also a little indignant. "You
remember? Arguing and urging and pleading for me to consent to this
almost as soon as we were married? For how long, over a year it was,
until I agreed to the first step, I still remember it, lacy panties and clear
lipstick, that was all you wanted, that I wear them until they were second
nature! Then a bra, just to feel what that was like. Then hormones to help
fill it out. Always, with each new step you were so happy, how could I
deny you the next? And for the past two years living with you as a
woman full time, exactly what you wanted all along, in a neighborhood
where none of our neighbors think I'm anything else! So I'm a man now
only at the office. Otherwise I'm what you've always wanted! You've
said so hundreds of times!"
"Well, yes, Les, sweet Leslie, but you're wrong about one thing. You're
no longer a man even at your office. No more than when you're in bed
with me. You haven't been for at least a year. Your secretaries all know
about you. They're only waiting for you to say it, to tell them you're now
a woman, not a man, so they can congratulate you and welcome you as
one of their own kind, one of the girls, even if you are their boss."
That was crushing news! "But how could they know?" I asked her,
subdued. "I've been so careful! You told them?"
"You know I'd never do that! It wasn't necessary to do that! There's no
mystery -- just look at yourself! Your jaw and your nose trimmed by
surgery to look diminutive, dainty! Your eyebrows raised, and your lips
puffed just a bit. Even without make-up you look adorable. No hair
anywhere apart from what was heaped up on your head until today. Your
chest thrust way out -- you can't hide breasts as large as yours, you
know. When your men's shirts pulled and strained I had to put you into
women's shirts cut for a woman's figure. Did you think no one would
notice those Peter Pan collars, and darts, and gores, let alone the flaps that
button the wrong way? Or the lacy tracery of your bras and slips under
the shirt material?"
She leaned forward. "Especially your hairdo, that bouffant look you wore
until today, the one you fancied when we first decided to go out in public?
No, I'll be honest, I fancied it for you then. That was a dead giveaway.
Do men put their hair up in large rollers every morning, then come in with
it combed and curled and spritzed up to form an alluring halo framing their
faces? Unmistakeable, honey!"
"And the way you move now? Not that you swish, nothing so vulgar.
But so neatly! So daintily! Always so ladylike! The way you drape your
wrists when you're comfortable, or wave them in the air when you think
you're you're being persuasive, forgetting altogether that your hands and
nails now look more slender and attractive than any man's hands and nails
ever could!"
"Then you yourself decided that a touch of eyeliner at work would make
your eyes seem more dramatic, remember, and you had to pencil in your
eyebrows when you tweezed away too many hairs! And above all, when
you decided you'd wear seed pearls or large danglers in your earlobes
instead of small hoops, the kind men with pierced ears wear? In both
earlobes? I didn't want to say anything when you lost perspective and
began doing those things, but you did want to, and by then there was no
mistaking what you'd become anyhow. Whatever did you think people
would think?"
She sat back again, her expression incredulous as she saw that it was all
news to me!
"I just wanted to look nice," I said lamely. Then, "April, has anyone ever
mentioned any of this to you?"
"Of course. Your secretary was concerned. She told me everyone at the
office was concerned, because they all care about you. You're a very nice
man. Or you once were, she said, but now you're more a very nice lady.
I told her not to worry, that you'd explain yourself to everyone in your
own good time."
This was distressing. Also a little bit liberating. It was sometimes
stressful, trying to maintain a normal appearance at the office. To no avail
apparently.
"Do you think my clients know?" I asked, worried?
"Of course, honey. Your secretary told me the new ones all assume
you're a woman. A little butch, with your voice, but they figure the
woman you live with likes it. That I like it."
There was nothing more to say about that. April sighed and returned to
her core revelation.
"I'm really sorry, Leslie sweetheart. I truly am. But the fact is, I no
longer want to be married to a woman. I did want to, but not any more.
So I'm leaving you. Tonight, as a matter of fact. When we're finished
here, we'll leave here separately. You'll go home, and I've made other
arrangements."
This was utterly stunning! April had been my life for five years! Longer!
We were always together, every spare moment, nearly. Especially as I
became her "dearest girlfriend." We shared so many more interests than
most married couples. Shopping, styles, getting our nails done, theater,
gossiping about people at work, everything! And now, soon, nothing?
I sat there with my wrists still draped. I wondered what I might
conceivably say to change her mind, but I was sinking deeper and deeper
into depression. I knew there was nothing to say. But at least I could try
to understand it. What had gone so terribly wrong?
At that moment the waiter brought our appetizers. Crab salad for April --
she loved sea food. Just a small chicory salad for me, no dressing. As
always I was concerned to maintain a girlish figure. I'd fought to get
down to a size twelve from my original eighteen, and as I got more svelte
April had given away my old clothing, to box me in so there'd be no
letting down or turning back.
Thw waiter looked at me. I must have looked just terrible, because he
asked, concerned, "Is something wrong, ma'am? Can I help you in some
way?"
That broke my spiral downward. I forced a smile and looked up at him.
"No, dear, thank you, I'll be just fine! It's nice of you to ask, though."
He left, reluctantly.
"See?" April commented, a little amused by the exchange. "Spoken like a
true woman. Gentle and considerate. You'll do just fine without me,
honey."
"I'm the way I am!" I said. My voice tightened, a little angry, though I
tried to keep it low. "I'm what you wanted! The way you made me! In
all these years, yours! Absolutely faithful to you!"
"I know, dear. You're what I wanted. You indulged me, and worked
very hard to achieve it, and gave up so much, and I'll always be grateful.
You'll always be my dream girl!"
"But if I'm now what you wanted, why don't you want me?" Near
despair, but still in my hushed, ladylike voice.
"That's a good question," April replied. She tasted her crab salad, then
set the fork down and again looked gently but very firmly at me. "It's
difficult to explain. Understand, sweetheart, I still do want you the way
you are, as a friend. A good friend. My dearest friend. You're a far
more fascinating woman than you were a man. And I think you're much
happier now too. More serene and relaxed, even more playful." She
smiled. "Certainly prettier." She smiled at me this time, inviting my
assent. "And you know you love making yourself pretty! So I really
don't have any regrets, leaving you now, and I don't think you should
either."
She settled back and looked serious again. "You see, honey, I've
changed my mind about what I want from a marriage. That's the nearest
explanation I can come up with. You were a wonderful man for agreeing
to become my even more wonderful best girlfriend instead of merely my
husband. You've been wonderful about all of it. But lately I've been
thinking that there's something missing from my life. Male
companionship. Being with a guy, living with the decisiveness, even the
feistiness of a guy. Anticipating his moves, primping before a date so
he'll find me attractive, special. Flirting with him, so there's no doubt in
his mind at all that I also find him attractive, that I may have something in
mind later for the two of us."
She smiled to herself, and took another bite of crab. "And then there's
that part too. What happens later. Feeling his strength embrace me even
while it pushes deep into me. I miss that too! More and more, lately!"
"April, we discussed that! Years ago now! When you started my
hormones, those heavy doses you told me would grow titties in no time,
but probably weaken my erections, and they did, and it did! When I
couldn't penetrate you any more you remember you told me not to give it
another thought, you preferred sex the way women have sex together.
And you made such passionate love to my new body, kissing my nipples
and rolling my breasts around in your hands. I was in heaven, but so
were you! I remember how delighted you were that I'd responded so
'generously' you called it, that I'd gone to a C-cup inside of a year, and it
was all me!"
She nibbled at her crab, and said nothing.
"How many times did you tell me you much preferred me kissing and
licking you down there, so very sweetly you said, while your orgasms
rose slowly, and exquisite feelings rose with them, and then finally
overwhelmed you! You loved it that I couldn't invade you, that there was
no threat of thrusting to ruin the mood. You said that so often!"
I paused. April said nothing. She just looked at me sympathetically, and
took another forkful and chewed it slowly. Obviously she knew I had to
vent, and she was allowing me to vent. All I was doing was venting.
There was nothing she intended to do. There was nothing to be done.
I noticed that her lips were closed, as always when she chewed, except
when she opened them to take in a teeny bite with a flash of teeny white
teeth. I saw that her lips were made up perfectly, and with a stray thought
I hoped mine were too. Lately I'd wanted to look more and more like
April, and she'd encouraged it. Suave, poised, a woman with a mind of
her own. Since I could no longer look like me, except at the office, I'd
thought. But no, apparently not even there.
"I learned how to make love to you those other ways," I went on,
knowing that I was only reciting history, not arguing with any hope of
persuading her. "Your ways. You said my face between your legs was
heaven, that my tongue was magic when it was inside you. That you
could never get enough of me down there. That's why I still sleep that
way most of the time, with my head between your legs! I love feeling the
strength of your thighs on my shoulders, and breathing close to the smell
of your pussy."
"That's true," was all she said. "And I still can't get enough of your
tongue. But it's no longer enough, Leslie. I know that this isn't fair to
you, that you've done everything I've asked you to do, that you don't
deserve this, and so on. I began by saying that, didn't I? Right from the
outset? So now I won't repeat myself, and it's no use your repeating it.
The loving we've shared has been beautiful, memorable, sublime. But
it's no longer enough. I now want a real man who can take care of a real
woman's needs."
She hesitated, then came out with it. "You're neither. You're neither a
man nor a woman. Not any more. Not yet."
I sat quietly. The waiter came again and glanced at me while taking away
our appetizer plates. I hadn't touched my salad.
"April," I said gravely.
"Yes, Leslie," she replied.
Was her tone now a touch mocking? She'd known all along that I had to
arrive at my next question. She stalled it, maybe for her own amusement.
"Or 'Les', if you prefer," she went on. "But you're not much of a 'Les'
any more, are you. Even back then, you were less of a 'Les" than you
thought you were." She smiled at her accidental pun, then smiled to
console me. "I think you kind of like what I've done to you. You didn't
at first, I grant you. But now? Don't you? Don't tell me you don't!"
I ignored that question. It disturbed me, because she wasn't wrong. But
I had to know. I tried to be indirect, at first.
"April," I said. "How do you know you'd rather be with a real man than
with another woman." I paused. "A woman like me, I mean."
She looked seriously at me again, indulgent but no way apologetic. Her
banter had failed to distract. So she began the preliminaries of an answer.
"I don't want to hurt you any more than is necessary, Leslie. You're my
dearest girlfriend, and I love you. We've shared so many desires and
secrets. I've wanted to share this with you for so long. It's the kind of
thing real girlfriends share all the time. But I just couldn't. Not because
it's wrong. Not because I thought you wouldn't understand, or that you
might take it the wrong way. My best girlfriend would be happy for me, I
knew that. But my husband would not be happy, not at all. Not Les!
He'd be terribly jealous, and he'd feel so inadequate, he'd feel like such a
failure. And then I'd feel sorry for him, poor man, I just know it. What
little there is left of him, I mean. And where's the point of that?"
"Tell me," I said. I took a deep breath. She was stalling. Then on
impulse I took up my purse, and opened it, and took out my compact and
lipstick, and looked at my reflection. My face was smooth, nearly
inexpressive. No need to touch up anything, not even my lipstick.
Perfect. I replaced all that female paraphernalia and snapped my purse shut
and smiled conspiratorially. "I'm your best girlfriend, honey. You can
tell me!"
It worked! After a moment April leaned back relaxed and asked me
playfully, "How does a woman know she'd rather make love with a man
than with another woman? You answer that for me, Leslie love!"
"We learn by doing," I said rather vaguely. I didn't want to put words
into her mouth.
"Exactly!" April said. She propped her elbows on the table, and her chin
on her hands, and she looked at me mischievously. Her eyes were
dancing. Maybe also gleaming. "Leslie honey, it's been wonderful!
Really marvelous! You'll be so happy for me when I tell you! I'm so glad
I can tell someone, finally!"
Just then the waiter brought us our main courses. Curry for her, and a
small roulade for me. My figure, you know. I sat very still, hoping her
new mood wouldn't be dispelled.
It wasn't. I took a small bite, and as she did the same, I forced another
smile. "Tell me, honey," I said. "How you met, what he's like, what
you two do, how you feel about it, everything." I leaned forward as if
eager for her to dish the dirt. I noticed irrelevantly that her hairdo was a
lot like mine. My new one. Curlier, because her hair was naturally curly.
But I knew I could get the same effect with a tighter perm. "This is so
exciting," I tried to add. But only a squeak came out.
April hesitated only a moment, then spoke. "His name is Scott. He came
to the hospital about a year ago, and we began talking almost immediately
about revising our surgical procedures with children -- he's a pediatrician.
His idea was, gather them all together in a big room and throw them a big
party, then the next day do as many as possible all at once. So they could
be miserable together and then gradually get well together. And keep each
other cheerful when their parents couldn't visit them. It was such an
imaginative plan, so considerate, so very sweet. But that's how he is."
I cocked one eye at her. My arched eyebrow went way up.
"No, I don't suppose you want to know that sort of thing. Well, we got
on beautifully from day one. We'd smile at each other at staff meetings,
and we began to have lunch together. After a while he started telling me
things. Personal things. We began to feel a certain ... attraction. But we
never touched each other. Other people thought we had a thing going and
made jokes about it, but we didn't. Not then."
"Is he married?" I asked. For some reason I wanted to remind her of our
solemn estate, not to be entered or left lightly.
She looked pensive. "He had been. His wife died shortly after giving
birth, if you can imagine such a thing in this day and age. A combination
of things, uncontrolled diabetes, radical hormonal imbalances, some rogue
infection brought on by AIDS. Their baby was stillborn and she died two
days later. He was devastated."
"I can imagine," I said, to break into her silence.
"No you can't. He'd cared for her devotedly. No man more attentive or
tender. He'd known that her pregnancy could be dangerous, so he'd tried
to deny himself the "consolations of her body" he called it, except for a
very few times when she'd begged him for it, seduced him shamelessly,
really. Then those times he took every conceivable precaution. It was just
as well, since she was HIV positive and she hadn't told him."
"Well, she got pregnant anyhow, and refused to abort. 'This is a love
child,' she told him. 'And you're its legal father, so I want to bear it and
to see you raise it.'"
"So?" I asked. I'd heard of worse marriages, if more fortunate ones.
"You don't understand, sweetie, any more than he did then. A 'love
child' is a child out of wedlock. Someone else was the father. After her
death he found out there was no knowing who. It seems that his wife had
been unfaithful for years, sexually insatiable. All day long while he was
at work there was a parade of lovers passing through their apartment and
into her bed. Every day when gobs of their semen overflowed her snatch
she never bothered even to blot. She took no precautions at all. When the
afternoon domestic came on duty, her first task was to run a bath so this
wife of Scott's could soak off the sweat and cum and saliva, and douche
herself thoroughly, all the while the cleaning woman mopped up the mess
and changed the soaked bed and got the stained and sticky linens out of
the apartment so Scott would never know. Scott's wife could take on a
half dozen men daily, he found out. And did. Long before her
pregnancy, and all through it."
"Anyhow, between the mother's marginal physical condition and all those
dickheads knocking on her door that baby never stood a chance! When
his wife found out the baby was dead she told Scott it was no big deal, it
wasn't his anyhow. That she'd never loved him. That she'd married him
only because she'd tried everything else, and he was as boring as
everything else. Then she died. That's why he felt so devastated. His
whole life had been a lie. He left town and moved to this city to get away
from everything that reminded him of her."
I looked sympathetic, but said nothing. Then, "You said you never
touched each other. How long before you did?"
April grinned at me. "You want me to cut to the hot part, don't you,
sweetie. Well, all right! It's pretty hot. About a month after he'd settled
in, when we were seeing each other daily, he told me about his wife -- 'if
she ever was one,' he said. And he asked me to perform a vasectomy on
him. If anyone he cared about ever got pregnant again, he wanted to
know for certain that the child couldn't be his. He didn't want children.
His patients would be his children. He'd be a better pediatrician for it."
I'd heard enough about this Scott's nobility. "So?" I said. "The
touching?"
"It's a simple procedure, I arranged to do it in my office. I put him in a
gown, and set him up on a gynecological examining table I keep there,
and I fastened his wrists so he couldn't interfere or thrash about, and I
strapped his legs into the stirrups and spread them wide apart. That gave
me plenty of access. He looked so cute, spread out like that! So helpless!
Just like a woman!"
She smiled at me, and then looked away.
"But down there he didn't look at all like a woman. Not with that
equipment! Leslie, honey, you've never seen anything like it! I'll bet not
even when you were dating all kinds of boys back in college!"
She was so entranced she'd forgotten who I really was! As her best
girlfriend, I nodded, trying not to break the spell.
"So I injected him with a local, and cleaned him up, and when I thought
he couldn't feel anything, I took up the scalpel and prepared to cut in, to
resect his vas deferens. But I teased him first. I said, "You know, with a
flick of my wrist I could emasculate you right now, the way I did my
husband."
"His voice came from the other side of the sheet we use to isolate our
work area, 'You have a husband? I thought you lived with a woman. A
lawyer, good-looking if a little butch is what I've heard.'"
"'Yes,'" I told him. I didn't want to keep any secrets from this man. And
I wanted him to believe my teasing might not be teasing! "He's a very
good-looking woman now," I said, "You could say pretty. But he wasn't
when I began with him!" The same feeling I get with you came over me.
I felt so powerful! "Would you like to join him? Join my little harem?
You might end up as pretty as he is!" I waved my scalpel high up, where
he could see it. I imagine no man ever felt more helpless than he did at
that moment.
His response was unexpected, Leslie. Because unlike you I'd never
sensed anything compliant or submissive in him. But it was so very
moving! "'April,'" he said. "'If you must, I want you to. I hope you'll
leave everything there. I guess this is as good a time as any to say it. I
have very special feelings for you. I want to join myself to you. I want to
become part of you. I want to make you happy the way only a man can
make a woman happy. I'll need what's down there to do that. I love you.
But because I love you, I want your happiness above all! So you do
whatever will make you happy!'"
"Well, Leslie, that was so sweet I started to cry. He'd submitted all that
manliness to me absolutely, to accept him as a man or to unman him
forever, whichever I chose. Greater love hath no man! Right then and
there I couldn't help myself. I felt so grateful! A gift like that? I leaned
forward and I kissed the very balls he'd offered to me. Softly. I thought
that with the anesthetic he'd never know. But his cock swelled up
immediately -- he hadn't gone numb yet. So I came around the other side
of the barrier and I looked him straight in the eye. That rugged, handsome
face. He had a broken nose from his college boxing days, but that only
made him more handsome. Tears, I was crying, they flowed down my
cheeks and they fell on him as I leaned forward and kissed him on the
mouth. He kissed me back. He must have tasted my tears. I opened my
mouth, and he thrust in his tongue. It isn't as long as your tongue, Leslie,
but it tasted so very sweet!"
She'd finished with her main course. I'd finished mine earlier. Now she
set her silverware aside and seemed to be day-dreaming, as if seeing it all
again.
"I told him that no one had ever trusted me so completely before, not even
my husband. That I had to love him for that! And that I wanted to kiss
him some more, while we waited for the anesthetic to kick in. He
interrupted me. 'May I kiss your breasts, April?' What a proposal! My
smock and my bra just flew off, and there were my breasts with their
nipples protruding, rock hard. I decided not to release his hands, though I
desperately wanted to. You know what it's like, Leslie, when you're
aroused and want to feel your breasts caressed and cupped and held
passionately. I gave him just a few minutes apiece of each breast dangling
over his face, my nipples hanging into his mouth. His lips closed on the
ends of each breast, and his tongue tickled and caressed the tips, and
shocks of pure bliss shot through me deep into my vagina."
"I don't remember when I climbed up onto him and inserted him into me.
I know we were both soaking wet when I came to myself and found I was
astride him and he was inside me and I was banging and riding and
writhing and twisting on top of him for all I was worth, and my pussy
was squeezing itself into one spasm after another. Glorious! Chain
orgasms, I'd heard of them! I've had them so often with him since then!
Most often when he's on top of me, that gorgeous thing of his banging
into me as ferociously and brutally as he can slam it and pound it at me!
God, I do love hard fucking!"
Her voice had risen, and I looked around. She noticed, and ducked her
head. "Oops!" she said.
The waiter came and removed out plates and went away. He then came
back with dessert menus. April handed them back to him. "Maybe later,"
she said. "Maybe not at all. Wait, and we'll let you know. Is that all
right?"
"The waiter mumbled 'Of course, madam,' or something like that. I don't
know why, but at that moment I turned toward him and gave him a great
big smile, perhaps of gratitude for his tolerance that we could stay a while
longer. Perhaps it was something else. To reassure myself that I still was
sexually attractive myself, as a woman if not as a man? To overcome my
jealousy of Scott, of that cock hammering my wife's pussy as mine never
would again? I touched my hair a few times, fluffed it up a bit in back,
and looked the poor man in the eyes just a bit longer than I needed to. He
was startled at first, but he returned a grin as he turned away. April
noticed, but said nothing.
"I never did perform that vasectomy. When we were both fucked out and
my thighs were stiff from riding and bouncing on him, I just climbed off
the table and picked up the scalpel again, and grinned wickedly, and said
to him, 'So you trust me, do you?' 'Yes,' he said, and he closed his
eyes. So peacably! 'I do. I love you. What you want is what I want.'
Leslie, I had his balls in the palm of my hand, and a knife in the other
hand. But what I said to him was, 'Scott, I want your baby! I want lots
of them. And lots of doing what we've just done! A lifetime of it!' It
surprised me! Amazed me! Him too!"
"But from that moment I've known that one day you and I would be
sitting here talking like this, Leslie honey. That I'd need to tell you I was
divorcing you to marry Scott. Because Scott opened his eyes and he
looked at me and he said in the most earnest and intense voice I have ever
heard, 'April, that's what I want! All of it!'"
"So of course I set down the scalpel. And then with his cock erect but
absolutely numb, I gave him the best blow job I have ever given anyone,
while he watched. He couldn't feel a thing, but he knew I had to, and he
watched me do it with such understanding and gratitude and devotion and
fondness. We spent the rest of that afternoon cuddled in each others'
arms, kissing, spooning, loving each other. My heart felt so very full. It
still does."
"When was this?" I asked, a little bitterly.
April didn't reply. She just looked at me. I remembered my proper role.
"That's so exciting, April!" I said. "I'm so happy for you both! But for
how long have you two been ... making each other happy? And is it ...
very often? You can tell me!"
She resumed chatting with her girlfriend.
"That was maybe a year ago. We've gotten together whenever we could
since then. Never often enough, never more often than four, maybe six
times a week! Our schedules are pretty tight, so it's not easy to free up the
time and place. We're quite an item around the hospital. Hardly anyone
hasn't opened a door and found us humping each other standing, sitting,
lying down, crouching, you name it. Or me blowing him. We do little
things for each other. We love it. We love each other. There's no getting
around it, Leslie. That's why we want to get married."
"But you've loved me this past year too," I reminded her. "For our kind
of sex. You've come home eager, and crooked your finger at me and said
'Come upstairs to bed with me quick, honey, I need you badly.' And
when I'd get upstairs you were already lying on our bed with your skirt
and panties off and your slip pulled up and your legs spread wide, and
you'd say, 'For God's sake, Leslie, please! Your tongue! I need your
tongue!' And you were already dripping wet, really soaked down there
sometimes, by the time I could get my lips rounded and clamped over
your slit to begin to suck you and spoon those sweet juices out with my
tongue. Some days you were really filled to the brim, secretions pooled in
every crevice. I loved it, that you'd get so aroused just from anticipating
me!"
April was silent. Daydreaming again?
She looked at my face. "Yes, sweetheart. Sometimes Scott and I didn't
have time for more than one fuck before we'd be interrupted. Phone calls,
patients, something. And then I'd feel so frustrated, unfinished! Now
and then we'd both fly out of town for professional meetings, and then we
could spend three or four days plastered together. That was always nice,
my body always as full of him as my heart! But at the hospital he'd get
called away sometimes before we could satisfy each other several times.
I'm really grateful to you that then you helped him out. I do hope you
enjoyed his flavor. I think he's delicious!"
She paused, and glanced again at my face, and saw the expression there.
"Oh, good heavens, honey! Did you think all that pearly stuff in me was
me? Good heavens, no! Some of it. Your tongue still excites me! But
not all of it! Not even most of it! You've sucked and swallowed more of
Scott's cum than I have during the past year, Leslie. Much more!"
She suddenly stopped. She'd said too much? "That's what girls do,
honey," she said a little defensively. "And I do want you to experience
everything girls do!"
She sat a moment, then sat back. Then looked at me. The spell had worn
off. I was again her husband, not her girlfriend, now that she'd told me
as much as she meant to tell me. Maybe I was Scott's jealous rival?
"We have to talk more, Les," she said.
"Yes, I suppose so," I replied. "Separation agreements, property
settlements, and so forth. But not now, April, please."
I was near tears. That bleak feeling was descending on me again. Outside
it was pitch black. Soon she'd leave me and I'd have to walk out into it
alone.
"Yes, now," April replied. "We need to talk. But not about those things.
Not exactly."
I just sat there. What else was there to say? I felt helpless. I'd done
everything she wanted. Sacrificed everything, nearly. And now I was
losing her! Could I begin my own life again? As what? To cover my
misery I took out my compact and lipstick and began touching up my
mouth yet again. I'm sure I was starting to cry. I could barely see myself
in the mirror. A teeny, forlorn sound came out of me despite myself.
"Leslie," April said suddenly in the sprightliest possible voice. I looked
up. Her head was cocked vivaciously, and she seemed buoyant,
grinning. She wanted to cheer me up. "Let me ask you the same question
you asked me. How do you know you wouldn't rather make it with a
man than a woman? Have you ever tried?"
I appreciated her effort to jest.
"Of course not. You know that." I couldn't look at her.
"No, you've never even had a dildo inside you, have you. Even though
that's what women often use with other women. You never knew that? It
never occurred to you?
"
"No."
"Nor to me. I must be pretty straight, I suppose. I never did feel like
penetrating you, it was so nice just doing what we did. And because I've
been getting fucked so frequently by Scott, and he stays hard so long and
recovers so quickly, I've never needed for you to use a dildo on me. But
recently I've been wondering how you'll get by, when I've gone off to
live with Scott."
"I'll get by," was all I said. "I'll survive. Don't let me slow you down!"
I tried to be sardonic, but she wasn't buying it.
"I'm sure you'll survive," she said. Then, "You know, there's this
woman at work, Fran, she's another surgeon, abdominal mostly, she said
that she's cleared all kind of things out of men's bowels that women have
pushed into them and then couldn't get out. Or other men have pushed in.
Golf balls, soda bottles, light bulbs even, you name it. Lots of wives
have done it to their husbands. So one day Fran decided to try something
like that on her own husband. But safely, with a dildo."
"Well, she said it was overwhelming! Really empowering! She loved
being the dominant partner! She loved violating his ass with her own
thrusting torpedo, at will or whim, whatever her pelvis felt like doing, all
the while he lay there helplessly and grunted and just took it. She liked
being the man. Being in charge. He hated it at first, she said. But in a
way he must have loved it too, because his cock was a wooden pole the
whole time. And when she orgasmed just from the raw animality of
pounding into him, he came too! 'It was different' was what he said
when she asked him how it felt. 'I'll bet!' she replied. 'I heard you
moaning for more!' She found that when she was wearing the cock and he
knew he had to take it into his body, he'd submit to other ...ahh...
indignities as well. Even against his will. And be grateful afterward."
"Well, I told Scott about Fran and her husband, but that's where it ended.
Scott would never let me bugger him, not in a million years. He has the
tightest asshole in Christendom. I can't even get a finger in! A real anal
compulsive, anal retentive personality. An uptight asshole, you'd
probably say, if you were a man. But he does have the tightest buns, too!
I love them! Yours got so plump when your hormones rounded them out
that they're even a little flabby now. I've been meaning to get you some
exercises to help you shape them up a bit more. 'Buns of Steel,' you've
seen the videotape."
"Anyhow, Fran asked me if I'd ever used a dildo on my girlfriend Leslie.
When I told her 'No,' she just looked at me and said, 'What are live-in
girlfriends for, April? Good heavens? The woman has a cunt, and you
don't fuck her? She must be feeling terribly deprived!'"
'"Yes,' I answered her. 'She may well be feeling deprived. I'll have to
ask her.' I couldn't very well tell her that my girlfriend doesn't have a
cunt, and that may be the reason why she's feeling deprived."
"What?" I asked? "What was that, April?" Her last statement hadn't at all
gone where I'd expected it to go. I hadn't felt at all deprived, not until
tonight! I began to pull out of my depression, to listen more closely.
"Leslie, tell me. Wouldn't you like to feel for yourself what it's like, what
I've just been describing about my affair with Scott, or what Fran's
husband feels these days? How it feels to be on the receiving end. To
give while receiving? To be really and truly fucked?"
The obvious remark occurred to me, but I said nothing.
"I've been selfish, I suppose. All take and no give. But I do want you to
experience the ultimate pleasure a woman can have. I owe it to you. You
need to know why it is that these parking attendants and waiters dance
around you hoping for a glance and a smile. Why those men pick you up
at those clubs we go to, and whirl you around the floor. They hope, they
dream, vaguely, that somehow you'll let them sink themselves into you,
so they can feel the pleasures a pussy provides. Could provide, if you
had one. And they hope for an opportunity to give you pleasure too!"
"April, cut to the chase! Are you telling me to take up with dildos, or with
men, or to let you equip me with a vagina?"
"Honey, I really and truly feel guilty about all this. I love you. You
know that. I don't want to just walk away and leave you neither here nor
there. I want my girlfriend to enjoy being what she is. I certainly don't
want you to resent that I turned you into a woman, nearly, and that now
I'm divorcing you for a real man, the greatest fuck I've ever had, the love
of my life!"
She hadn't answered me. She noticed that I'd noticed, and then she went
on.
"Honey, I guess yes, that's what I'm telling you. I don't want to press
you or anything, but give it some thought. You can only go so far with
dildos, or with satisfying your men with your anus, if that's what you
think I was thinking. The best sex between men and women is what
happens when a man's cock is inside a woman's vagina. With no vagina,
you can't experience that. Right now all of your erogenous nerve endings
are still in that useless penis of yours, most of them down toward the
base. I want you to think about turning the whole assembly inside out.
About having a sensitive clit and a vagina that throbs with joy when a real
prick strokes in and out of it! Feeling heaven between your legs!"
"And there's something else. You know that Scott knows about us. He
isn't jealous of us, exactly. He isn't jealous of my relations with women.
I don't think he understands them. But we've talked about you. He likes
the idea of my spending time with someone affectionate who shares my
interests. A woman. With an intimate girlfriend. He'd feel reassured to
know there's someone I can be with when he's not available."
"And I want him to have that reassurance. I'm now married to a man
who's nearly disappeared, and I'm divorcing what's left of him, but that
doesn't mean I can't still share things with my dearest girlfriend. We
won't live together the way we do now, of course. You'll have your own
place, the house we're in now, and you'll lead your own life. Have other
friends. Get to know the neighborhood wives. See other men maybe.
But we can still see each other. There's no reason not to! You can still be
my dearest friend. We can still giggle together about everything!"
She paused. "Isn't that so?"
I nodded. It was so. I almost sobbed at the pity of it. A friendship was
all that remained of our marriage! But at least that much! Maybe more!
"That's if you're a woman. If you're no way a man. You have to be a
woman. Scott has to be satisfied that you're a woman."
Understood, I suppose. She'd sort of said that. Then she leaned forward
to say more. "Leslie, Scott and I want you to be my Maid of Honor at our
wedding."
My mouth fell open.
"More than that, I want to do this for my Maid of Honor! I want my
bridal gift to you to be a pussy. I want to share everything with you, the
way girlfriends should. Nearly everything! Please think some more
about it."
"Think too about how much fun we can have picking out our gowns and
everything! I'd be so happy! Arranging different couples at different
tables. Maybe mixing up the husbands and wives, to see what happens?"
She threw me a wicked glance. "Honey, I don't want you left all alone,
after everything we've shared. And think about after the wedding!
There'll be lots of Scott's friends there, and some of them are between
wives, and some of them are roamers, and I should think looking the way
you do you'd have the pick of the lot. I know you would. There are
some wonderful experiences out there for you, waiting to happen! If you
can accommodate them!"
"April, you keep saying it. But I don't want to be intimate with men. I
really don't." I was appalled by the way she kept returning to that notion!
"Honey," she said. "You think so now. But looking the way you do,
feeling the way you feel about yourself, it's only a matter of time. Take it
from me. I know that when you first try a dildo you'll love it. It's like
Fran's husband said, it's different. He wasn't the least bit feminine when
she started with him, but now when she comes toward him he can't open
up to her fast enough. Then sooner or later you'll find that men are a lot
more satisfying than dildos. You already love the way they fall all over
you for a smile. Don't deny it. Well, you don't know it yet, but in bed
men can be very warm and loving, and when they're horny they have
moves and desires that can take your breath away. You'll see."
"Leslie sweetie, you're the woman I've taught you to be. That's the next
step! I have no doubt at all that soon your mouth and your anus will be
baptized with real sperm, sooner than you think, and you'll be thinking
about getting a pussy. I may not be moving from man to man any more,
the way I did before I met Scott, but you'll be. You'll be checking out
lots of the merchandise. The way you behaved with that waiter? You
must know that!"
I paid no attention to her reference to the waiter. "You've been moving
from man to man? For how long now?" I was shocked yet again!
She looked at me narrowly. "Oh, Leslie, I've been thinking you were my
girlfriend, and I forgot you still think you're my husband too. Of course!
Practically since we were married! With lots of men. Right away I
missed the way some of my old boyfriends felt, different from you, so I
started in again with one, then with another. I missed my old girlfriends
too, the things we used to do together, but they'd all moved away. That's
why I wanted you to fill in, to be my new girlfriend. And that's what
you've been!"
She sighed, reminiscing. "Why do you think I found it so easy to do
without your cock? Why do you think I didn't care when you lost your
erections? On the other hand you know how I absolutely adored those
darling little titties of your when they first began to come in, especially
when your nipples got so erogenous that all I had to do was touch them
and you'd squeal, and then you'd do anything I asked you to do. It all got
a lot easier then!" She was lost in reverie for a moment.
"When we moved to this neighborhood I quit with other men for a while.
We were women living together, and I tried hard to be faithful to my
partner. But then when you had your facial surgery, you were laid up for
weeks, bandaged? Remember? How you couldn't go down on me?
Well, I felt horny one night and went out and picked up a stud at a bar,
and we fucked all night. And I've done that now and then ever since.
Until Scott. I'm faithful to Scott. I always will be, I think. He's all the
man I need!"
"You made me ... what I am just because you wanted a live-in lesbian
partner to play with along with your men?"
"Honey," she said patiently, a little wearily I thought. "I wanted a
girlfiend, yes. Someone who shared my interests. And I wanted the sex
too, of course. But the main reason why I made you a woman is fairly
obvious now, isn't it? Soon after we were married I thought I could get
better fucked elsewhere. A lot better fucked. And that turned out to be
true."
That settled me back down.
"You really are my best girlfiend, now. But you were never much of a
man."
She reached out and took my hands and clasped them in hers. "Aww,
now I've hurt his feelings. But you shouldn't have those feelings any
more, baby! You're what you wanted to be! You've practically agreed
with me again tonight that you like things this way. That you love what
you are. Your new hairdo, for openers. And don't you love the feelings
that rise up in you when I'm suckling and licking those plump breasts?
The way those feelings melt and merge into your whole body?"
"And the other things, not just sex! Don't you love choosing what outfits
you'll wear, and what accessories, so you'll look just right for any
occasion? You're very good at it, you know, and you enjoy it, I know!
Isn't there special satisfaction in knowing you're as nice looking as you
can be? And don't you love giving full vent to your deepest, dearest,
most heartfelt emotions, the way any woman can, instead of suppressing
them the way men feel they must? You're a woman in your heart now,
Leslie, nearly. That's why I feel so close to you! That's the closeness to
you I've wanted from the beginning! It's special! Very different from the
way I feel about Scott."
"Suppose I go back," I said resentfully. "And have my breasts removed,
and get testosterone shots, ramp up my natural production, be more of a
man again. More the way I was."
She looked at me a little reproachfully. "Honey, let me say it in the
plainest of plain words. You can't. It won't happen. Your testicles have
shut down. They're almost gone -- why do you think they tuck so easily
these days? And your penis is now what, the size of your little finger --
you've seen it. Could you be a man now? If you could, you'd hate it.
But you can't. There's no going back."
"That's why I'm urging you, sweetheart, go the other way! Really,
you're only one step short of the goal. Have a vagina installed and be
done with it. One of your very own, to dispose however you wish." She
looked intently at me. "To use the way I've used mine. The way any
woman can, and no husband can ever really tell. You'll be so much
happier! Complete yourself, honey!"
Oddly, at that moment she sounded like my wife, the woman I married,
concerned and caring!
"All right, I'll think about it," I said. "But I don't think I'm ready for it.
I'm willing to be your Maid of Honor, but I can't promise you anything
else."
I disengaged my hands from hers and looked down. It was time to part. I
felt sad. Sorrowful, in fact. "I guess I should go home now, April.
When do you think we can see each other again?"
"Honey, no, not yet. There's just a little bit more we need to talk about."
"What?"
"Two things, really, First of all Scott. I told you he has no objection to
our keeping up our friendship, as long as it's a friendship between two
girls. Well, his agreement to all this -- our continuing to see each other,
your being my Maid of Honor, everything -- is conditional. He knows
you'd never agree to a vagina right off. But he wants proof positive,
absolute assurance, that you're now my girlfriend and no way my
husband."
"He knows you're no rival physically. He can tell that the way I react
when that fat cock of his shoves into me. I shriek, and my moaning
comes to crescendo almost immediately. It's obvious to him I get nothing
like that at home. But he needs to know you harbor no bad feelings
toward him. That there's no jealous husband left in you. That you don't
feel competitive in some way. That you wish him well. That you're truly
my girlfriend wishing us both well. So we've thought of a test."
"What? For me to place your wedding band around his cock and guide it
into your pussy with my own hand? Is that it?"
Oh no, that won't be necessary Leslie. Just to do something for him no
ex-husband would ever do for the rival who's replaced him. Though a
girlfriend might."
What's that?"
"Now hear me out, Leslie!"
"All right. What? What do I need to do?"
"Not a lot. A gesture, really. A blow job. Just for you to give him a
blow job. To swallow his sperm from the source instead of from my
pussy. It really isn't much more than you've already done. It's what girls
do. To show him unequivocally that you want him to be happy, by
making him feel good. To show you bear him no animus. To show me
that you desire his happiness too. To prove it to me!"
She grinned maliciously. "Then again, I do think you'd enjoy it, sucking
his cock. Once you get past the idea of it. I do."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing! "While you watch?" I asked
sarcastically?
"Oh, no, that wouldn't be decent. You two need privacy for something
like that. But he does need to know who you are and who you aren't. A
girlfriend, not a man at all! He doesn't think any man would be willing to
wrap his mouth around his wife's lover's penis. Of course Fran's
husband does it, she tells me, with several of her lovers. But he's a
special case, and it took her a while to get him there."
She paused, looking across the restaurant, back toward the lobby. I
followed her eyes. There was a rugged looking, rather handsome man in
the entrance hall now talking to the Maitre D', who pointed at our table.
He started toward us, but April suddenly held up a palm to him. He
stopped short, nodded, and then sat down at the bar, looking over at us
now and then.
"That's my man, sweetie! Don't you just love him? Feel a teenie bit
tempted to flirt with him? I want you two to meet. We both want to get
this matter settled now, tonight. But first, there's one more thing. Please
listen, it's serious."
"What?" I asked her. "He wants to fuck me up the ass, too? To assure
himself there are no jealous feelings hidden up there either?"
"No, he doesn't want to. In fact he made a face when I suggested it. But
he's willing, because I want him to. And I want you to let him. That's
my test. That's what I need to know my girlfriend knows. The joy of
fucking while being fucked, of submitting to a man while he pleasures
you. The man in you won't want to do it, of course, but I think the
woman in you will love it! You'll need to know how it feels if only to
make a fully informed decision about turning in your prick for a
functioning vagina."
I was silent. I couldn't look her in the eye.
"It's such a weenie, you know!"
She wasn't taunting me. Just stating a fact.
"Just look him over, my gorgeous man over there! Isn't he a dreamboat?
If as a woman you can allow him into both of your openings, if that's at
all possible, then we have no problem, Leslie. Because you'll have
proved that you have no problem. So I want you to go with him. Now.
Is that clear?"
I was silent.
"Is it?" She looked grim, and picked up her purse. "Is there a problem?
Leslie? Is this how we say goodbye to each other?"
"No, April. Please!" I sounded as anguished as I felt.
"I mean now, upstairs, in this hotel. We've reserved a room for the two
of you to use."
I said nothing. She looked for a long time into my eyes, while I
struggled to find something to say. Then she just said, "Good!" and
raised a forefinger, and gestured to the man seated at the bar. He stood up
and moved to join us.
"I think I'll pass up dessert, honey. I'll stop by the hospital to check on a
few things, and meet you both in the Jockey's Bar off the hotel lobby in
about an hour. Let's say two. That should be time enough."
She rose and headed for the Ladies' Room. Her man grinned to her in
passing. Then as he approached me, he smiled gently. I looked up at
him, wide-eyed, and I nervously touched my hair. I tried to smile back,
but couldn't. "So you're Leslie," he said. "I've heard so many good
things about you!" He held out his hand.
***************
The longest two hours of my life later, I stepped out of the elevator into
the hotel lobby and waddled toward the Jockey's Bar. I stopped first at
the Ladies' to pick up a tampon, so my favorite black, silver threaded shift
wouldn't get as soaked and stained as my panties despite the Kleenex I'd
stuffed into them. And I fixed my make-up. Sure enough, my mussed
hair fell into place when I combed it with my fingers a few times.
I hurt. My jaw a little, and my rear end a lot, but my pride most of all.
Now, as April would have said, I'd graduated from finishing school.
That man had fucked my mouth twice in quick succession. The first time
I'd rounded my mouth and cloaked my teeth with my lips -- "Don't bite!"
he'd cautioned me in a strained gutteral at one point -- and I'd closed my
eyes and I'd sucked on his pole until I felt his pelvis rear up and pump
cum into the back of my throat. I tried to feel dainty doing this, to feel like
April's girlfriend, but all I felt was a little soiled.
Then during the second blow job I found my mind was wandering, it had
begun to seem so routine, so ordinary. So accustomed. Not thinking
much about it, I slid my lips up and down him while his large hands
pressed tenderly at the sides of my head, holding my new hairdo tight
against my ears while he headfucked me. My tongue slipped past the
irregular ridges of his veins, and the rubbery edge of his cockhead. I
scarcely noticed when he came this time -- I'd gotten accustomed to the
salty taste and slick feel -- and I quaffed it down almost absent-mindedly.
And resisted feeling grateful that he'd finished, that it was done with. In
fact as he'd approached his climax it had crossed my mind that if I were to
slow down and hold him off just a little bit longer, I could get him to do
... what? Something April might not find forgiveable, when she heard
about it. But instead, as he speeded up, I picked up the pace myself, and
when the time came swallowed his squirtings effortlessly
I suppose now I'm qualified, a full-fledged woman, I thought to myself.
So Scott now can't object to my seeing April. He looked satisfied enough
with me as he helped me up off my knees and asked me now to lie face
down on the bed with my rear end raised high on pillows.
As he explained, he was low on juice, so I should expect that he'd be
working his short but incredibly thick cock in and out of my asshole for
quite a while. He suggested I enjoy it, he knew I would, but to be sure to
let him know if anything hurt. In fact it was nearly an hour before he
finally shot his sperm into me a third time.
He'd been lavish, slathering on the jelly, but no turd as thick as that
swollen penis had ever passed through my anus before, so his lovemaking
hurt at first, going in both directions. But it did feel a little like
lovemaking, especially when he reached around me and grasped each of
my breasts and delicately tweaked my nipples in rhythm with his
thrusting. A strange stirring in my groin grew stronger, and I began to
wriggle down on him repeatedly in search of an enticing feeling that
almost-but-not-quite eluded me. That pleased him. I could tell. Each
time I snuggled my cushiony rear into him, he responded with greater
ardor. This felt so ... feminine, wiggling and teasing his cock with my
pussy. Desireable, vulnerable, yielding, yet aloof and somehow in
control, calling the shots. I don't like to co