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SPELLS R US: A SPECIAL SITUATION by Roy Del Frink Andrew Humphrey was an unusually displeased man. At 25, he enjoyed his lifestyle. He liked working for the drugstore. He also had all the money he'd ever wanted, even though he was far from wealthy. Even his parents, brother, and sister gave him loving attention whenever he was around. But he felt something lacking in life. Something quite personal. After six months in therapy, Andy discovered the problem was himself. He was emotionally bisexual. Not in appearance; his body was definitely male. And he wasn't romantically bisexual either; his clear preference was women, even if he couldn't get dates for the life of him. No, Andy had a part-male, part-female personality. It wasn't really either. His sexual drive was as strong as the average male, but his only outlet of release was masturbation, and he'd never learned how to use his tool properly. Without a wife or girlfriend, or even many friends, he couldn't find a lady who'd take him on willingly. He also didn't like the idea of paying for a prostitute, or watching strippers in clubs that required the purchase of two alcoholic beverages. But there were other signs. He was tall, about 6 foot 4, taller than most men and nearly all women. He also had the muscular build of a man. But he didn't have much body hair, and his penis was rather short, only 3 inches. His eyes were a sparkling blue, and his auburn hair didn't fall below his ears. He always stepped straight ahead while walking, a very masculine trait. But he usually crossed his legs while sitting, occasionally placed his hands on his hips, and liked placing arms akimbo while walking, definite feminine characteristics. He liked some crude jokes, but Andy did have standards of taste; he was no Larry Flynt. Andy did not like "Truly Tasteless Jokes". In school, he was a natural at learning mathematics, and he was a whiz at logical reasoning, but he was just as good at philosophy and finding and appreciating the human side of world history. He was unusually emotional for a male, but would sometimes hold back his feelings. He felt excessive sex in TV shows and movies was less a problem than excessive violence. He didn't really like watching sporting events or monster truck rallies, but operas and romance novels were just as silly, in his opinion. Once he'd considered taking estrogen treatments and going for the male-to-female transformation, but he just decided we wasn't cut out to be female. Simply put, Andy's personality didn't fit either gender too well. This inability to fit into established patterns of society made him a social outcast, which explained why he had so few friends. And the people that did know him and cared for him were frequently too busy for him, so he had to spend most of his free time alone. Andy felt that, if he didn't do something to fix his problem, he'd spent the rest of his life in a deep funk. And he was way too young and brilliant to fall victim of depression. One Friday evening, shortly after spring began, Andy walked through the shops of the local mall. He didn't want to purchase anything in particular; he just wandered into any shop that caught his fancy. Next to the food court, and across from Sears, he found a new shop called Spells R Us. Strange; why didn't he see this before? He could have sworn a bookstore had been there last week. Still, it looked so out of place he decided to give it a try. He'd heard many stories about what happened in there, but he didn't believe them. Inside he saw a small wood-lined store full of all sorts of stuff. It was almost like a junkyard, except that everything looked brand-new and was marked with price tags. There were no customers in the store, and he could only see one clerk at the counter. He was a short, grizzled old man wearing a frayed bathrobe. Andy thought this fellow looked rather strange, but tactfully kept his mouth shut. The old man looked at him angrily. "I know I look strange to you, Andrew, but I happen to like this bathrobe. Now do you want something, or not? " "But how did you know my name?" The old man sighed. "Look down at your chest." Andy looked and almost burst out laughing. Seems he'd forgotten to remove his name tag from work. But then a more chilling thought came to him. "How'd you know what I was thinking?" The old man smiled brightly. "Simple, Andrew. Or should I call you Andy, your preferred name? I'm a wizard. I know all about you. And here at Spells R Us, we sell magical items to help you, the customer." He held up a pouch of dust, and added, "We've also got the cheapest magical goods in town. You'll never find a better aphrodisiac than this unicorn powder for less than its price tag of 50 cents." Andy felt something was a little unsettling about this fellow, but he wanted the guy to help him, so he asked him, "Sir, I was wondering if you have anything you could use to help me. I have a mixed-up personality, part male and part female. If I had a male personality, I would have no problem. And if I had a female personality, I could just switch genders and live happily. But my half-and-half mixture is giving me mental anguish. Could you please find a way to adjust my personality to fit my body? I'd rather be an all-male man, or even an all-female woman. And while you're at it, could you also help me find a stable, happy relationship? Nearly everyone I've met finds my mixed personality too freaky to want to know me better. And I don't want to spend another lovesick spring alone." The wizard stared at him deeply in thought, then held up a small glass bottle. He said, "Andy, special situations like yours call for special solutions. I've got a perfume that should solve your romantic problem right here. It's called His And Hers, because it's made for either a man or a woman. Both males and females will be able to attract others of opposite genders. Within a week, you should be able to settle into the relationship you desire." Then he left for the backroom, quickly returned with a large crate, and added, "I just received this baby on back order. This special reversible suit will settle your personality problem, Andy. Put it on as soon as you get home, and soon your personality will match your body. This suit, and the perfume, come with special instructions. The Magicians' Guild requires me to inform you to read them before you use them. If you disobey any directions, I am absolved of all responsibility, and you're stuck as you are. Fortunately, you're a pharmacist, so I trust you do follow my orders exactly. You know what dangers occur if one disregards the instructions on the bottle, don't you." "Of course I do. I won't let you down." Andy was unsure this would help him, but he thanked the wizard anyway. He asked, "How much do I owe you?" "The suit is a bargain today. Only thirty bucks. And another two dollars buys the perfume." "That's a rather steep price for a suit, especially for a special at a discount outlet, but I'll take it. Do you accept checks?" "Andy, we take any form of payment you can think of. We even accept payment of first-born children, livestock, or eternal souls, if you really need it." "Um, no thanks. Here's your check." Andy handed a check for thirty-two dollars to the strange old man. "Very well, Andy. And remember, any unsatisfied customer at Spells R Us gets his money back." "Thanks, old man." He left the shop, unsure of what he'd gotten himself into. Then he went home. The crate holding the suit was very difficult to carry, but he managed. Then he remembered the rumors he'd heard about Spells R Us. It seemed that most men who shopped at the store ended up women. And everyone ended up with something quite different from whatever they originally had in mind. But, Andy figured, that's all they were, just rumors. Surely this old man must give his customers exactly what they want. Didn't he just promise me a refund if I wasn't satisfied? Once he got the crate through the front door of his apartment, Andy looked at it. It was about seven feet tall, four feet long, and three feet wide. It was marked "One (1) reversible sweat suit" on the top. After searching for something to open the crate, he found a crowbar in his closet. After jimmying the crate open, he saw a sweat suit. Like the old man said, it was reversible. It was blue on the outside, and pink on the inside. Andy found a tag hanging from the shirt sleeve, which read: "Acme School of Magic Reversible Sweat suit. Changes wearer according to whichever side is on the outside of the suit. WARNING: Women should not wear suit during their periods. Do not wear suit with mixed colors; this will result in unfortunate side-effects, and the suit will lose all power within thirty seconds." Strange. Andy was willing to believe in some supernatural phenomenon, like reincarnation and auras, but the idea of real-life wizards just felt too incredible to believe. Then he looked more closely at his bottle of perfume. A small label said, "His And Hers Perfume. An Acme School of Magic Product. Attract members of the opposite gender. To apply, squirt one (1) time behind each earlobe." Those warnings suggested to Andy that this magic was too dangerous to fall in the wrong hands. He decided to follow all directions faithfully. But not tonight; it was getting late. Andy's watch said it was about ten o'clock. If he'd had a girlfriend, he would probably be out on a date right now. Since he didn't, he just turned in and fell asleep. Andy woke up at nine-thirty on Saturday morning. He felt quite refreshed, and he had plans to find a date. He applied the perfume according to the directions. That strange wizard claimed the potion had the ability to attract the opposite sex, which should allow him an easy ability to find a date. Since his wardrobe wasn't very impressive, he decided to show off his new sweat suit at the mall. He placed the shirt on his torso, and slipped the pants over his briefs. Suddenly, he felt changes ripple through his body. He felt chest hair grow all over his torso. Large muscles sprouted all over his body, where they hadn't been before. His dick more than tripled in length. Even his voice fell an octave or two, down to bass range. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was a buff fellow, almost as if he'd been working out all his adult years. Andy weighed himself; he was now 280 pounds, most of it muscle. Wow, Andy thought to himself, I believe in magic now! All I need to do is find some woman who might be interested in me. After eating a small breakfast and putting on a pair of sneakers to finish his outfit, he returned to the mall to find attractive females. On a whim, he decided to return to the Spells R Us next to the food court and across from Sears, but the bookstore was back in that location. Strange! But Andy didn't think about that too much; all he wanted to do was find dates, possibly mates. After cruising the mall, he found a nice lady named Cathy Cramer, 23 years old. She had long, flowing red hair that covered her well-built body, falling to her hips. Her hips looked almost twice as wide around as her waist. She was a full foot shorter than Andy, and her breasts were about D-cup size. He guessed she must have weighed about a hundred and thirty pounds. To Andy's surprise, she seemed madly in love with him. He only needed to smile at her, and she stared back at him longingly with her ruby-green eyes. Gee, Andy thought, this is all too easy. Maybe that perfume does work, after all. Anyhow, Andy set up a date for that night at 7. He could hardly wait for the time to pass, until Cathy showed up at his door. When the moment came, Cathy arrived, quite eager for their date. "Hi, Andy. Are you ready?" "Ready as I'll ever be," Andy replied. "Oh good," Cathy cooed, "maybe I can show you a real good time." My gosh, Andy thought. I've had such a hard time getting dates, and now Cathy's getting all over me! I wonder how the perfume is affecting her... Nah, just go with it. I'll just ride it out, until we hit it off. He enjoy ed the romantic movie they saw, even if Cathy spent most of it squeezing Andy's manly body. And dinner at the Yellow Rose Spaghetti Works afterwards... amazing! Not only did Mama Lenora cook up a great feast, but Cathy proved a great talker, as well as a good match for Andy's personality. She also revealed she was open to experimentation with personal relationships, something which bothered Andy, but he let that slide. Andy drove Cathy home to her place, making sure to kiss her good-night. Sparks of passion emerged from their lips, and Cathy made it clear she wanted Andy. So much that she wanted to affirm her love for him in other ways. Ways which could not be expressed at her front door. Cathy invited Andy inside, and the two made a dash towards her bedroom. That night, Andy experienced his very first night of love-making. It was a new experience, but a very positive one. Andy knew he wanted to do this again sometime. He was especially surprised with his love-making abilities; he'd barely learned to masturbate adequately, but with Cathy, he acted with the mastery of a male porn star. It must be part of the suit's magic, Andy thought. Not that Cathy didn't enjoy this night of passion also. He fell asleep next to Cathy, then drove himself home Sunday morning. Andy had finally experienced the thrill of sex, and he was eager for some more. But he'd only been able to feel it from the man's point of view. What about the woman?, he wondered. Was it better for Cathy than for me? What does it feel like for a woman to take a man inside herself? I know our biology is different, so it probably didn't feel the same for her. And I almost wore out from the night, but Cathy seemed able to hold herself together to the end without trouble. Is sex more tiring on the man? And what about those other pleasure centers, like the breasts? What does it feel like in there? Can they enhance the experience? Andy spent most of Sunday morning and afternoon pondering these questions. After a small supper, Andy decided to refresh himself with a trip to the gym. First he squirted himself with the perfume again. Since the blue side of his sweat suit had gotten all sweaty from the night before, he decided to turn it inside-out and wear the pink on the outside. Mysteriously, there was no sign of moisture on that side. Andy figured this was part of its magical powers, then put on the pink shirt and pants. As he did, he felt another strange sensation swell through his body. Andy decreased nearly a foot in height, until he was only five foot five. His hair got longer and stronger, until it fell to his butt. Speaking of his butt, it swelled up and out, as did his hips. His facial features got softer and cuter, and his stubble disappeared entirely. He lost much of his muscle, and his waist thinned out considerably. Most of his excess fat migrated upward, towards his chest. Two large bumps formed and grew outward, until they each swelled larger than his head. His legs got thinner, and his toes started pointing inward. Even his crotch changed; the manly member shrank until it almost disappeared, being replaced with a three-inch opening right below. His testicles moved into his body, until they were no longer visible. Nevertheless, Andy could feel them change shape and form slightly, and move inward and upward until his new ovaries were where they should be. Andy stared at himself in a mirror, trying to figure out who he was. He was no longer Andrew, that was for sure! In his place, he saw a rather beautiful woman, whose breasts would probably need an H cup to support themselves. They must have held a third of her one hundred twenty pounds. Since I'm no longer male, Andy thought, I'd better start thinking of myself as female. How about Andrea? Yeah, Andrea Humphrey, or Andy for short. That was a good name for this creature of beauty I see in the mirror. Andrea measured herself; she had an 18-inch wasp waist, and her hips were about a yard around. She put her sneakers on and hit the road. At the gym, Andy found a hulky body-builder named Harry Nicholas. He stood at six foot two, and weighed 225 pounds, most of it muscle. He looked 24 years of age. His black hair fell just below his neckline. He had eyes of blue, and Andy knew she wanted him. Harry must have agreed, for he invited her on a date that night. Andy figured, since I get Monday off anyway, why not? Who knows what might become of this? Andy and Harry saw another movie. This time it was a horror flick. Andy squealed in shock several times, as she sought reassurance from Harry. Then they had burgers at McKing's Olde Fashioned Burgers ("Merlin couldn't have made them more magically delicious!"), as the two of them discussed their lives. Andy discovered Harry was just as good a match, if not better, than Cathy had been. Harry, like Cathy, proved willing to experiment, but this didn't bother Andy now; after all, she was now experimenting herself! The always chivalrous Harry gladly paid for both meals, then drove Andy home. During their good-night kiss, Andy decided, on a whim, to ask Harry if he wanted to leave just yet. Harry clearly had much better things in mind, so the young couple rushed to Andy's bedroom and made out then and there. Andrea found this experience as good as Andrew's night with Cathy. Harry was long and hard where it mattered, a good eight inches by Andrea's estimate. She felt new sensations, not necessarily better ones than last night's, but still pleasurable sensations nevertheless. Quite different ones, too; she no longer got weaker with each release of bodily fluid. And each time she released, her sexual pleasure, instead of being "wham-bam-thank-you- ma'am," was more spread out, lasting longer and seething over her entire body. Each release felt like five or ten minutes of sheer ecstacy to Andrea. She knew she was gonna enjoy this sexy body as much as Andrew's beefy frame. Eventually, Harry collapsed in Andrea's bed, and the two of them slept together. Harry drove home alone the following morning. Now that Andrea was alone, she compared her two experiences. As she bathed and got dressed, she decided that either gender was alright with her. After all, she had a personality which wasn't exactly male or female. I'll stay Andrew during the week, she thought. I dodn't want to explain Andrea to my co-workers. While she had the day alone, Andy decided to explore her new feminine body. She proved rather pleasurable; Andy had never had a masturbatory session this satisfying as a male. After catching up with the news that evening and doing a few household chores, Andy fell asleep. The following morning, she turned her sweat suit inside-out and returned to being male again. When his co-workers asked how he got so buffed, he told them he'd been to the gym that weekend. (He didn't want to tell them the unbelievable full truth, but at least he wasn't lying.) Andy's work-week was just like the last, but the memory of his weekend trysts gave him the determination needed to get through his dreary week. For the next dozen weeks, Andy built a routine for himself. He'd be his usual male self during the week, then go on a date with Cathy Friday night. On Saturday, he'd become female and have fun with Harry. He used the His And Hers perfume for each date, and they all ended with a passionate love- making session. Starting with his sixth date with Cathy, Andy realized both she and Harry really loved him, so he just poured the perfume down the sink. He had two people who really loved him; did he need anything more? After a while, Andy also discovered, shockingly, that Andrea had periods that lasted about four days, and were exactly four weeks apart. Worse, Andrea couldn't become Andrew again during those four days, because of the sweat suit's instructions. Her periods were trying times for Andrea, especially her first, but eventually she adjusted. Andy would just have to call in sick until the period ended, then she'd change back into Andrew. Andrew purchased a few helpful products at his drugstore the day he returned to work, and all went well after that. He also purchased a few outfits and some grooming supplies for Andrea, just in case. Andrea ended limiting the sex with Harry those weeks, so she didn't have to remove her maxi-pad. It made her sad, but she knew she'd get more sex next week. Andy was just glad he had a steady boyfriend and a steady girlfriend; he liked them both so much, he didn't want to choose. He was also worried about what would happen if Cathy and Harry met each other. The thirteenth Friday night, he wore the sweat suit blue-side out on a date in the park with Cathy. She leaned toward Andy and confessed, "Andrew, I've been seeing another man, and I think it's time you meet him." "What's wrong, Cathy? Don't you love me anymore?" "Of course I do, pookie. It's just, I love him too. Don't make me chose between you; I'd rather have both." "Alright. When do we meet this other man?" "Next Friday at 7:30 in front of the old Price Building. Meet me at the flagpole. And be sure to wear that handsome blue sweat suit of yours, tiger." The rest of their date was the usual, including a remarkable romp in the sheets. The following day, Andrea's date with Harry went just as smoothly. They were chatting in the park, with Andy wearing her pink sweat suit. Andy thought it strange that every date with Cathy was followed by an identical date with Harry. She figured it must have been a coincidence. She listened to Harry speak when he suddenly dropped a bombshell. "Andy, I've been seeing another woman. And I'd like you to meet her." "What's wrong, Harry? Do you no longer find me attractive?" "Of course I do, sweetheart. It's just that I find her attractive too, and I'd like to see both of you." "Very well. Where and when should we meet your other gal?" "Next Friday at 7:30 in front of the old Price Building. Meet me at the flagpole. And be sure to wear that beautiful pink sweat suit of yours, angel." After that they rushed to Andy's house and made out, but she felt a little disturbed the whole time. Now I'd have to meet Cathy and Harry at the same place, and the same time, she thought. They want both Andrew and Andrea to be there, and I'm gonna meet these mysterious "other people" they've been going out with. How am I gonna pull off this one? And will I get jealous at the other man and other woman? The next week was a living hell for Andy. He tried to figure out how he could possibly have his cake and eat it, too. It wasn't gonna be easy, but he realized he'd have to come clean and tell them the truth, unbelievable as it seemed. He also decided he'd be good old Andrew first, then change into Andrea. His biggest concern was how Cathy and Harry would take it. When Friday evening finally came, he showed up at the old Price Building right on time. To his surprise, Cathy and Harry were the only people there. "Hi, Andrew," Cathy called to him. "I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Harry Nicholas. I've been seeing him for six months now, and even though our relationship is still going strong, we decided we could see other people. Andrew Humphrey is the 'other man' I've being telling you about, Harry. I've decided to go out with you on Fridays, then Harry does the exact same thing with his 'other woman' on Saturdays and relive the experience. I'm only worried that Harry's 'other woman' hasn't had the guts to show up yet." "Yeah," Harry added, "where's Andrea Humphrey? Wait a minute - you two have the same last name; are you related to Andrea or something?" "Well, in a way, we are." Closer than you think, he thought to himself. "So can you tell me where Andrea is? I don't like her to keep me waiting," Harry added. "And Cathy would so like to meet her." "I'll tell you what. Why don't we go into the bathroom together, and I'll tell you exactly where Andrea is." "Okay," Cathy said. "That sounds fine," Harry added. They entered the Price Building, a fine 19th-century apartment building. There was only one public restroom, in the lobby. As the three of them entered the powder room, Andy told them about his unusual sweat suit and transformations between Andrew and Andrea. Cathy and Harry didn't believe him, until Andy took it off, turned it inside-out to reveal the pink side, then put them on. Cathy and Harry just stared as he turned into Andrea. "Well, it sounds a little far-fetched, but now that I've seen it, I'll have to believe it," Cathy said in shock. Harry was more upset than stunned. "I can believe it. I've heard tales about this Spells R Us shop, and I don't trust that twisted shopkeeper. My brother Samuel went there once, and came back as my sister Samantha. He said he wanted to improve his sex appeal, and that voluptuous vixen he became had it in spades. Nobody ever gets exactly what they want, so I've avoided Spells R Us at all costs." "Well, it's too late to complain now. I got this from him, and you've seen how well it works. Did you believe I'd ever been a man, Harry?" "Of course not." "And Cathy, did you think it possible that I could have spent time as a woman?" "Good lord, no." "Then it worked! I don't see why you two are complaining about it. I'm still the same person, even if I have two very different appearances. But I'd like to ask you guys, how come my first date with Cathy was on a Saturday, not Friday?" "Well," Harry said, "Cathy had a cold that Friday. She didn't want to spread it to her date." Makes sense, Andy thought. "This whole experience was strange," Cathy said. "I didn't think Andrew and Andrea would turn out to be the same person! Still, now that we're all together, what do you say we form a menage-a-three at Harry's place?" "Sure!" Andy was pleased at this unlikely development, and decided making out with her two great loves at once would be a fine idea. Cathy drove them all to her place. "But I thought we were supposed to be at Harry's?" Andy asked quizzically, as the car pulled into the driveway. Since Andy was still in the Andrea form, her question almost sounded like a whine. "This is Harry's, silly. I moved in with him shortly before you started seeing me. And if you're wondering where Harry was those nights we spent together, he stays with his sister on Fridays. Not in the same bed, of course." "I should have known." Andy agreed to spend the night after exploring sex with these two. She was glad she wasn't male at the moment, as the idea of being Andrew and having sex with another man didn't excite her. Maybe someday, but not tonight. Anyhow, Andrea had a wonderful night with Cathy and Harry. She slept in their bed, and Harry drove him home on Saturday morning. "Can we try this again tonight, with Andrew in Andrea's place?" Harry asked. "Of course we can," Andrea giggled. She was feeling giddy all over at the thought of it all. Sunday Andrew had fun with his pals. Even though gay male sex wasn't really a turn-on for him, he did try it with Harry, and it wasn't too bad. It helped that he really liked Harry as a person. This set up a routine where Andrea would have a sexual romp with this liberated couple on Fridays, and Andrew would be there on Saturdays. Of course, they would always do some less physical dating activity first. For the next twelve weeks, Andy settled into the routine without telling the folks at work. Most people wouldn't approve of this relationship, and besides, how could he explain about his magical reversible sweat suit? Nobody would believe it. During his fifth romp with Cathy and Harry, Andy agreed to move in. To his surprise, he discovered that Cathy and Harry were just as much fun to live with as to date with. He met their friends and relatives, and got along quite nicely with all of them. Andy's own family also got along with them, though they had a hard time understanding their bizarre three-way relationship. Cathy even gave Andrea lessons on how to be more presentable in public as a woman. Andy had found the perfect lifestyle for himself. Nothing could possibly go wrong. During the thirteenth week, on Friday evening Andrew asked Cathy, "I'd like to go for a jog before our sexual romp tonight. I wanna wear the sweat suit, but I can't find it. Where'd it go?" "Oh, Andy," Cathy laughed, "Harry and I washed it at the laundromat yesterday. It's lying on your bed; we hope you like the surprise we've planned for you." Andy went into his room and noticed the sweat suit. He found the top pink- side out and the bottom blue-side out. He recalled the warning not to mix the colors, so he turned the pants inside-out before putting the suit on. Now Andrea, she returned to the living room and prepared to go out the door. Cathy looked at her, stunned. "Andrea, I thought I'd mixed your outfit. I've so wanted to see you wear your pink shirt with your blue pants." "But Cathy, that's not how this suit works. Something nasty happens if you mix the colors." "Nonsense, Andrea. You're just getting paranoid. And I'm still sure that Spells R Us guy is a nice fellow who wouldn't want to screw you like that. He's just pulling your leg." With that, Cathy took Andrea's pants off, turned them blue side out, and placed them back on her body. Andy fought back with all her strength, but she wasn't as tall or strong as Cathy, so she didn't have a chance. Andrea was now wearing her suit mixed, with unknown consequences. "Uh oh," Andrea said, as she felt an odd sensation tingling in her crotch. She watched as Andrew's 10-inch monster penis formed just above her clitoris, with a sizable scrotum forming underneath. Even so, she didn't feel her ovaries move out of her womb, and her vaginal opening stayed in place. She grew another inch in height, and gained maybe ten pounds in weight. She grew slightly more muscular, though not nearly as beefy as Andrew had been. After thirty seconds, Andrea heard a sputtering sound, and the sweat suit disappeared as if it had never been there. Andrea just stood there naked, looking both male AND female. She was stunned. "What the - the suit warned something would happen if I mixed up the outfits," she snapped. "Now I'm just a beautiful lady with an enormous cock, and testicles to boot! Worse, my lovely suit is gone. I'm stuck like this the rest of my life. Thanks a lot, Cathy." The whole time, Andy noticed changes to her voice. It wasn't as high and melodious as Andrea's, but it wasn't as deep and rich as Andrew's either. It was a sort of cross between the two. Cathy just winced. "I'm sorry, Andy, it's just... oh God... what have I done?" She sobbed uncontrollably into Andy's heaving chest. Andy cried back. They just stood there sobbing for two hours until Harry entered the room. "Hey, gals, wanna go to the playhouse? 'Our Town' is opening tonight, and ? Andy! What happened to you?" He was staring at the giant erection coming from Andy's otherwise all-female body. Andy emotionally yelled, "Cathy messed me up by disobeying the instructions for my sweat suit. It turned me into this and disappeared. Now I look like a freak." "I told you that Spells R Us wizard is no good! He always finds a way to screw up his spells. And now, I'm afraid you'll never be able to pass as Andrew again. You look a lot more like Andrea, actually. But with that thing between your legs, you'll have a hard time covering it." Cathy continued sobbing. "I'm sorry, Andy. I'm sorry, Harry. It's all my fault. I should have listened to both of you." "No, wait, Cathy. I should have warned you about the dangers of mixing the colors." Suddenly, a smile crossed Andy's face. "Wait a minute, you two. I just realized; this is the perfect solution to my problem!" "It is?!" Cathy and Harry yelled, stunned. "Yes. Don't you see? I've always had a half-male, half-female personality, and now I've got the body to match. I enjoyed the unique pleasures of masculinity and femininity just as much, and now I can have both, possibly even both at once! And I'm already living in a nice relationship with the two sweetest people I've ever met, so both my male urges and female urges can be satisfied. I just thought the old man would alter my personality; I never thought he'd turn me into a hermaphrodite! I'm even gonna have to change my name." "Well, what you gonna call yourself now? Andy seems appropriate for you; we've called Andrew and Andrea that since we met you," Harry noted. "No. My new name shall be Andy Rogeny." "Of course!" Cathy chuckled. "It's perfect! Now I'm not bothered at transforming you at all. I know exactly how to change our lifestyle to match this strange situation." TEN YEARS LATER: Andy just smiled at the way his/her life had gone. Andy preferred to be called he/she, and thanks to some legal scuttling with Cathy and Harry's help, he/she could. Cathy and Harry had gotten married eight years before, just before their first child had been born. Despite this, they continued to form a happy threesome with Andy Rogeny. Andy fully enjoyed his/her sex with Cathy and Harry; he/she had enjoyed every sexual thrill either Cathy or Harry could, and some rather pleasurable ones neither could ever have. Four kids now lived in the Nicholas household, and Andy was their "Auntie Andy". Of course, none of the adults would tell them about Auntie Andy's true self until they were old enough to understand. Maybe then, they would explain to the four kids that only Cathy and Harry's children Paul and Francine were full siblings. For "Auntie" Andy was actually Otto's father and Jenny's mother. At least they were all half- siblings, which was good enough for everyone. Andy clearly couldn't work in the pharmacy any more, but he/she had lined up a good job teaching sex ed at the local high school. Most of the boys ogled him/her at first, but were turned off when Andy showed a photo of himself/herself naked to demonstrate what a hermaphrodite looks like. And as for that nagging dick hanging in his/her crotch, Andy solved that problem by hanging it in his/her panties and dressing as a woman in public. Maybe someday he/she would get a job as a circus freak, but Andy didn't think he/she would be able to handle being treated as a human freak show. He/she was quite satisfied with the way things had turned out. In a small mall a hundred miles away, a wizard just chuckled. "Andy, I told you I'd solve your personality problem, and I have. And tell Harry that every once in a while, when someone has a special problem like yours, I concoct a special solution that makes everyone happy, even if it's not what they were expecting." THE END