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I have a confession.
I ran away from my Master.
I'm not talking about Antebellum slavery ran away- I didn't have run through the woods, and avoid being chased by dogs and gunmen. I didn't have to hide out in people's basements to avoid being taken back by slave catchers. I didn't have to forge papers stating that I was free when I really wasn't.
No, no, not that kind of slavery. Lower your NAACP flags for another day.
I'm talking about the BDSM type. You know, the one I consented to. The one I agreed to be collared.
I ran away from that. Now before you start raising your feminist flags, hear me out. My master wasn't necessary a bad man. No, he was kind and sensitive, he always made sure that I was ok, he provided when we played together. No,no, it wasn't his fault that I ran away.
I ran away because I couldn't trust him. I ran away because I wouldn't communicate with him. I ran away because I no longer felt comfortable around him.
Life got in the way and I could no longer play the way I used to. I was living on the streets, fending for myself. I was finishing college and working on a campaign. There was just no way I could continue on with so much on my shoulders.
And yet some part of me feels guilty that I did it. Did I run away? No, I merely walked and burned the bridge.
With him fuming on the other side.

And I always imagine one day- one day he would find me. Find me out on those streets by myself. Demand that I get into his car. He would take me someplace, someplace where I could stay and he wouldn't worry about me. Because he would worry about me- even more so than the people related to me. In the car I imagined him asking me questions.

"How long have you been out here?"
"A couple of months."
"Do any of your friends know?"
"No."
"What about your coworkers?"
"Nope."
"And your relatives?"
"They don't know either."
"And you expect me to be okay with you living out on the streets?"

My mouth is shut and quiet. I'm embarrassed to reply. I wanted to say no, but the truth was yes. I did expect him to be okay. He was older, more experienced. He had other submissives just eager to be pleased by him. Yet he, he took the time and money out to see me to a safe place. He worried about me. I felt guilty.

"I'm your Master." He stated. "And right now Master is very angry at his submissive for lying to him and cutting him off. Do you understand that?"
Silence. I knew what was coming. Well, fuck it, I really didn't know what was coming except for pain. What kind of pain I didn't know.
"Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Yes what?
"Yes Master." He was into speech restriction, eye contact restriction, everything I did naturally. I was an 'easy' submissive, save for one thing: my weight. I saw his ads for a petite submissive. It drove me nuts. I starved myself just for him. I ended up gaining the weight back. I had asked him for help and it was the same-old, same-old: don't eat processed food, don't drink soda and fruit drinks, don't eat carbs. I'm a college student, the fruits and veggies don't come cheap! I reconciled with myself, on cutting myself off from him, that he would be happy with his petite submissive(s) and find no need for me. I would pictured it constantly. To this day I still picture it.

We arrive at the townhouse and he lets me in. The first thing he does he orders me to take a hot shower. Usually when we were together, we took showers at the same time, but I imagined since I stank so horridly I was going to shower alone. I did. It was the first time in months since I had a hot scorching shower and the water alone peeled off accumulated dirt off of my body. I scrubbed and scrubbed, crying along the way. How did I ever end up on the streets? Through lying and deception. Wasn't a dominant/submissive relationship built on honesty and communication? I had fucked up horribly.

Once I had finished washing and scrubbing, I got out of the shower and dried myself off. In search for clothes, there were none. I knew that I was going to get my punishment now, tonight. He was not going to wait.

Timidly I walked out of the bathroom, past the bedroom and into the living area. He was sitting down in a chair.
"Kneel." Through sheer will, I got down on both of my knees and put my hands facing up on each one. With my eyes closed, I heard him get up from his chair and approach me. He unbuckled the collar and snapped it around my neck with a snug. He came in front of me and pressed his crotch against my face. I breathed with guilt.

"Come this way." He tugged the collar and I opened my eyes. Without directing looking at him, I crawled on my hands and knees behind him to the bedroom. Guiding me onto the bed, he positioned me so that the upper half of my body was on the bed while my feet were on the ground, leaving my ass wide open in the air. He pulled my hands back and handcuffed them.

"Now, how long have you been out there?"
"August."
"August what?"
"August 9th."
"And today is..?"
"January 31st."
"You know how many days that has been since you've hid from me?" I ran the numbers in my head. 31 days in January, December, and October. 30 days in November and September. August had 31, but I was sheltered for 9, so that 22 days. 31..31..31..30..30..22..93 plus 60 ..153 plus 22..175..
"One hundred..and..seventy five..days..Master."
"That's right. 175 days you've lied to me. And you're going to count for each and everyone of them with 'I'm sorry, Master.'"
Normally when he 'disciplined' me with his whip, I would tighten up my butt to ease the pain. But this time there was no use. He would start over if I did.
Crack! "I'm sorry Master!"
"That's for the first day."
Crack! "I'm sorry Master!"
"Two."
Crack! "I'm sorry Master!"
It kept going until we reached One hundred and seventy five. My ass burned. Tears were streaming down my face. I didn't scream, but I sobbed like I had watched the people dear to me die. I felt completely vulnerable and broken.
"Now, will you ever lie to me again?" His hands were rubbing my ass, intensifying the pain to almost the point where it was unbearable.

"No...No Master." I whispered.
"I'll let you sit here and think about what you've done..and what your proper punishment should be." I heard the vibrating sound as my legs were spread apart and a small dildo was wedged inside of me.
"Do not cum." He ordered. I was too exhausted to even think of orgasming but I knew my body would want to please itself in a while.
"Yes Master." I answered. He got up and walked out of the room, leaving me there to ponder over my choices- and my decision to cut him off from my life.

Bringing it back to today, I have not contacted my Master at all. I do not see him as such. I know that he is doing well and quite positive he is with a more honest, thoughtful, and considerate submissive. One I could never be.
However I do dream of this scenario often and I wonder if it is just the guilt in me for my actions.

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We had several problems to start sorting out the next morning when we met. All of the Wardens – including a somewhat subdued, though still alive Vander – met in the dining room, and I joined them as well. We expected Nathaniel back sometime during the day, but no one wanted to sit around just waiting until that happened. We summarised the issues first: finding the Architect as well as the sentient darkspawn who’d escaped from the Mother’s lair; repelling, and hopefully stopping the darkspawn...

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Charlotte and the Chocolate FactoryChapter 3 Whats The Worst That Could Happen

"If you think Virana and I are going to stay one more minute in this awful place after what just happened, you're insane!" Mrs. Pepper said angrily. "Like I said earlier, you can't go back the way we came," Ms. Wilco said, pulling a lever on the wall. "And don't worry. I assure you there won't be anymore surprises. Scout's honor." A large red paddle boat appeared from one of the tunnels in the wall and came to a slow stop where Wilco was standing. "I don't believe you," Mrs....

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XSFGCChapter 25 Bad Week Gets Worst

"I am Magneto; what are you doing on MY Island?" As Phillip listened to the older man in the maroon armor he could only shake his head as this was a most foul way to end an equally foul week. In front of him and his fellow classmates were their guardians, their protectors assigned to prevent the very thing that was happening from ever happening. Storm; convulsing on the sand while trying to breathe as the very same metal she wore as jewelry was choking her more and more. Phoenix; one of...

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DreamweaverChapter 43 The Meaning of Fear

Okay, now I'm scared. I know what you're thinking, everybody says that, and you're right. I mean I've been scared before; several times in fact. Like when Brad and his goons ambushed me outside the mall. Skinny little freshman me against three football players, hell yes I was scared. Even before that, when I confronted Brad in the locker room because he was talking shit about Angela. If our star running back, Pat Nesky, hadn't been there I probably would have gotten my ass kicked. Both...

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The Taste of Fear

I had been hunting for a few hours when I saw the one I wanted. He was in a small group with two others friends who were posturing and checking out the women with predatory looks. They were all young, early twenties, and I took them to be frat boys or the like close to graduating. They were all lean and muscular, but they had that slightly unfinished looked to them. The one I wanted was a little taller and more developed than the other two, and something in the way he carried himself said that...

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Fear

Fear comes in many levels and forms, but there is one uniquely terrifying format it takes, the fear of what is within one’s self. It’s a thinking being’s fear, some might say, a fear borne of being self-aware to a detrimental degree. Once you know what you’re capable of, there’s no way of unknowing that little bit of information And at that moment, if you discover you’re able to do something darker than you had prior thought yourself possible of even processing let alone acting upon, you’re...

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Maid to fear

Maid in fear. Hello everybody send me all your corrections and comments to: [email protected] I sincerely hope you like this tale. I had fallen in a spiral of shit. Six months ago I was laid off from my job and my severance package was completely exhausted. Four years ago a gave the first payment to a very nice and big house in a private grotto in Mexico City, the mortgage payments were very high, but my job allowed me to pay every month not with ease but completely and...

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Blood Fear

I ran through an almost swampy deciduous forest area. I say almost because the pools and pockets of shallow water were sand bottomed instead of the kind of muck that results from leaves turning into silt. The sand, a nice, fine Sahara Desert-esque sand, was firm and well settled. Judging by the lighting, I would guess it was afternoon, possibly hinting at the very earliest mellowing of evening. The forest floor where I was running wasn’t tangled with thorn bushes or wild rose or the large...

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Control Through Fear

Control Through FearBy  Sonya  EsperantoE-mail:  [email protected]’s Note:This is the third story to my Lovecraftian horror-sex Anthology-Trilogy.  The first was Witness  To Horror and the second was Hotel Trap.  This story is more or less adapted from two of HP Lovecraft’s stories,  namely  The Rats In The Walls and  the Lurking Fear.  The latter had been adapted many times as a horror films,  in movies like The Breeders  (starring the famous actor Rutger Hauer)  and ...

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The Republic Of Fear

Note to reader: This story follows the fortunes of Roya Ismailov, whose father Hossein Ismailov, is the absolute dictator of the Republic of Azerbaijan. Roya is his eldest and most feared daughter with an appetite for violence and sex. She’s a businesswoman, criminal, fashion model, singer and holds the office for oil and gas within the government. She holds rank within military intelligence and is privy to state secrets and has ambitions of succeeding her father upon his demise. Beautiful,...

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Digimon Rise and Fall Chapter 5 Fear

Introduction: The new chapter dealing with Tai. Tai let out a deep breath. His eyes were closed tightly. Fear and Courage swirled in him like a whirlpool. He knew he needed to relax he had done stuff like this all the time. Not only that but he faced life and death numerous times in the digital world. So why was he scared of something so simple? The plane around him rumbled and it made his stomach turn. Soft footsteps moved towards him but he gave them no heed. A female voice sounded. Wow you...

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Sudden Fear

Sudden Fear By Brian Houlihan Copyright@2002 by Brian Houlihan All Rights Reserved [For Michael D.] "Look what I got Mom! I caught her in the woods, tryin' to get away." I was slumped over Tracy's shoulder. Then she dumped me onto the floor of the TV room, in front of her mother Cindy and her big sister Tonya. I had attempted to escape this nut house in high heels thru the woods. The beefy young woman had quickly caught me and subdued me. Subdue as in punched the shit...

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The first time I felt real fear

The first time I felt real fear This happened in the days of squeaky modems, Geocities and DIY websites so perhaps I was naive about the internet. Or maybe I'm kidding myself - I always did court danger. We'd been exchanging emails for weeks, John seemed like a nice guy and it was a long time since I'd been with a man. He was an admirer of t-girls and shared my love of PVC and satin. He kept asking to meet and eventually I agreed. On the night I was nervous and boosted my courage...

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Digimon Rise and Fall Chapter 5 Fear

“Wow you look like you are about to throw up.” Tai opened his eyes. A beautiful woman in her 20’s sat in front of him. He gazed at her lovely face with absolutely perfect rack. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad after all. He smiled at her slyly. “Yeah maybe out of boredom. This is taking forever.” “Well if we do this wrong it would be a bit of a disaster. Is this your first time?” “Well sort of but I’ve done a bunch of stuff like this before.” “Really what kind of stuff?” The...

2 years ago
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Fear

With everyone gone, the kids were staying overnight at their grandparent’s house and my husband was working second shift, I had the house to myself all evening! I was lost in the moment as walked into the house, dropping my coat and purse on a chair, I headed to the kitchen for a glass of wine. Just as I entered the living room, I stopped something seemed wrong. Fear suddenly washed over me. “Am not really alone?” I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest. My eyes were trying to adjust...

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