Rachel - Crossing The Line VI free porn video

Hi - another installment. No editing again, long story, hope you'll forgive me. Thanks for all your comments to date. It helps more that you'll ever know. Rachel Rachel - Crossing the Line VI ? by: Rachel M. Moore November 20th 9:38 PM OK Rach, get a grip. Fuck Nick, let that asshole go, he'll get his one- day. I put the glass of water on the counter and went to the living room to see if I could sort out how I was going to deal with my life. It was so damn complicated right now. Everyone seemed to have a hook in me. What's with that? Brad, John, Tony, Nick, Dr. Bill, Lisa, everyone had a piece of me.. Augh! I plopped down on the couch and felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest. Damn it! I rolled over on my side slowly and my head came to rest on the TV remote. I picked it up and turned on the local cable news station, they were in the middle of weather forecast - might rain tomorrow. I lay there for a few minutes and decided my chest hurt way too much to be wearing my bra and these stupid breast forms. I reached around slowly and through my T-shirt undid the bra, the breast forms slid out of the cups. I pulled them out and deftly, but ever so slowly, removed the bra without taking my shirt off. Ah, much better! I felt real relief now and rolled over on my back, dropping everything to the floor. God I'd be glad never to see those damn latex falsies ever again! If these hormones combined with the shots I had just endured in my chest did what the Doctor Bill thought they would I could see results by the weekend, four days from now! The news droned on about some gang violence and I tried to tune it out. Damn I was tired! Was this a side effect of the shots, the hormones I had just taken or had it just been a long day? I had slept till after 1:00 PM, to get my beauty sleep from last night, how could I be so tired? I smiled thinking of the fantasy world I was living in. Then it hit me, that's my problem, to much fantasy not enough reality. All those people with hooks in me, they were real, I was the one in fantasyland. OK, do I buy that theory? Am I really out of touch with what's real around me? No! Wait a second - I'm not going there! I'm not going to beat myself up to night! I'm OK they're OK. So, what did I solve? Nothing. I chuckled. Great! Back to square one. How to deal with these hooks? One at a time I guess. "Local casino consulting company HCC is in the news again tonight." I turned to look at the TV, "Last nights gun battle at the Newtoni Jewelry Company where HCC employee Brad Anderson, seen here entering the HCC offices in north Las Vegas earlier this evening, shot two assailants after the attempted hijacking of a reported thirty million-dollar diamond delivery. One of those assailants died of his injuries this afternoon. He has yet to be identified by police. The second hijacker is in the critical care unit at the UNLV Medical Center. Anderson has been cooperating with authorities and has not yet been charged with the shooting of the hijackers. A spokesman from HCC has refused to comment and we are told that agents from the FBI and DEA are now involved with the investigation. Anthony Bennito, a suspected drug kingpin in his native country of Columbia, has been staying at the recently opened Grand Cayman casino and was unavailable for comment. Mr. Bennito also owns a fine jewelry export business and controls the majority of the diamond mining operations in Columbia. Sources tell us that HCC was providing security for the diamond delivery. HCC you may recall is the company that has joined forces with local area brothels as security consults. More after this." And a commercial began playing for a local restaurant. I was afraid to breathe. This is not good! Were the FBI and the DEA investigating Brad or Tony or HCC? No, this can't be happening. What if they find out about me? I swallowed hard. No, they couldn't, Brad said that everything was on the level, totally legal. They aren't going to look for things Brad has done legally. Wait a minute, he didn't do anything, I did all this - he just facilitated everything. No, I'm fine, there was no connecting us. Now what was that shit they said about Tony being a drug dealer? No wonder everyone was all jittery around the guy. AJ from the bar at the Grand Cayman casino was right, he was in the drug business! Tony lied to me, he lied! I shook my head slowly. I endured three more commercials and a thirty-second live shot from the Grand Cayman casino before the broadcaster came back into view. "HCC is just one of the local casino based businesses started by local businessman and millionaire Cal Franklin. We will update you on further developments later in the hour. A gas main was breached by a local contractor doing business..." I turned the TV off. This can't be happening, this isn't good. My heart went out to Brad and I just wanted him here. Why? Did I want to comfort him or have him reassure me that I would be fine? What if I was found out? What if... I laid back and shut my eyes. I felt was so damn tired, but my mind was racing. I slowly rubbed my chest, the burning hadn't... The phone ringing startled me and I slowly sat up right. I caught it on the third ring. I checked the microwaves clock - 9:59 PM, this had better be Brad. I had lost my resolve in the last couple minutes and wasn't sure I could deal with Nick right now, "Hello..." I waited to hear a voice, I could hear background noise so I knew someone was there. "Is anyone there?" Still no answer and when I was about to say 'Who is this?' the line went dead. Fabulous was this another crank call, the person who had called and not left any message earlier today, Nick? Fuck it! I hung up and decided to go get ready for bed. I was pooped anyway and it was definitely time for bed. That hang-up just gave me the push I needed to get off the damn couch and head off to bed. Boy, way to much excitement for one night - one day actually. I headed toward the bedroom and tossed the phone onto the bed as I entered the room. Brad was sure to call anytime and I had so much to tell him and I wanted to get the latest on his situation of course. I began to feel a little selfish that my main concerns were all about me being found out, but decided I felt just as much for what was happening to him right now. The FBI, we didn't need that right now. Slowly and very carefully I removed my T-shirt as I walked into the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror and poked gently at my chest. It was bright red and so incredibly sensitive to the touch. Going to be tough sleeping tonight I thought and made a face when I tried to cup one breast a little to aggressively. I turned to get a side view of myself in the mirror. Nothing, absolutely nothing. The injections hadn't done anything yet, but then it had been only a couple hours since Dr. Hanson had administered them. Maybe this was a waste of time? I was beginning to have some second thoughts and then I wanted to kick myself for being so stupid. What had the doctor said? I might see results by the weekend. That reminds me I need to find a pharmacy to get that prescription he had written for me filled. I hate feeling so damn scatter-brained! I turned the faucet on at the sink and began the nightly ritual that was taking my make-up off. I really didn't have any good skin conditioning products yet, so I had to just wing it with some soap. Another reason I had to get to the store soon. The water was so warm and felt so good I contemplated jumping into the shower quickly - just jump in and out. Then thought better of it, wondering if all the instructions the doctor had given me were really necessary. I starred at myself in the mirror and ran my wet hands through my hair. Yup, I needed a better hairstyle too. Without my make-up on I looked like someone I wasn't anymore, not good I decided. I picked up my toothbrush and brushed my teeth. Ah! Much better. Next, I undid my jeans and slid them off, reaching into my panties and adjusting my clit so it was free, in a more comfortable position. I threw the jeans at the clothes hamper in the corner and missed miserably. I went over and picked them up and noticed one of Brad's collared shirts was in there. I took it out and smelled it. His cologne was still strongly meshed in the fabric. It was wrinkled pretty badly, but I decided it was going to be my nightshirt regardless. I slipped it on and it dwarfed my body. Guess I hadn't realized just how much more a man Brad was than I. I checked myself in the mirror, not bad, kind of sexy even without all the makeup and clothing. I flipped the light switch off and headed for bed. I climbed into bed and tried to fluff up the sheets and comforter. Of course the phone went flying as I did this and clunked onto the floor somewhere. I fumbled around for the lamp on the nightstand and turned it on. Better. I grabbed the remote next to the clock and pointed it toward the TV on the dresser, quickly flipping to the news. I snuggled with Brad's pillow and began watching the news. It wouldn't take long before I was drifting in and out, the TV droning in the background. Over the sound of the TV I thought I heard a knock or bump from the Living room. For a second I wasn't sure I had heard anything, I turned the volume down to listen. There was knocking at the door. I was startled and a little scarred. It had to be the FBI, I was sure of it! Could it be the police? Maybe I could just pretend I wasn't home. I crept out of bed silently and moved ever so slowly toward the front door. I had left the lights on in the living room and the kitchen, so I wasn't worried someone would jump out at me, but every knock made me jump. At the door I peered through the peephole praying it was Brad and maybe he had forgotten his keys. Then I thought I'd take anyone else but the authorities, who could it possibly be this late at night? It was John! How the hell did he get past the front lobby area? We have security in this building I thought! How did he find this place? Now I wish it could have been anyone but the authorities and John! Damn it! He stopped knocking and put his face near the peephole. "I know someone is home, that was me who just called a few minutes ago. Mikey? Open up." He was speaking just above a whisper. FUCK! He knows someone is home, did he really know that was me on the Phone though? This can't be happening. What the hell do I do? I needed time. Options, I need options! I could talk to him through the door as Rachel, but had that worked on the phone? Maybe if I passed myself off as Rachel I could argue letting him in. No, he wasn't going to give up that easily. If I answered him as myself he was going to insist on being let in. No way can he see me like this! How the hell did he find this place? A quick double tap at the door brought me back around, "I'm not leaving without talking to Mike or knowing where he is." Another tap at the door, "Understand?" Shit! I needed more time! I ran back to the bedroom and pulled a blanket from the bed. I wrapped myself in it and headed for the door. If I kept this around me John wouldn't be able to see my shaved legs. I wasn't wearing makeup and my hair was pretty flat, I could pass as my former self. I stood there shaking at the door this was it? I unlocked the door and slowly looked out into the hall, I put my best 'I was asleep' face on and croaked, "John?" I paused, "What the hell time is it?" "It's not late! What the fucks wrong with you?" he said pushing the door into me. I couldn't help but grimace as the door pushed into my chest, I was seeing stars and back peddled a few steps as he pushed his way into the condo, "Damn, give me a chance..." but he was already moving past me and into the living room. "Who lives here?" he spat out, looking around the room. Shit, here it comes. I just starred at the back of his head until he Turned around. I need to stand up to him, "A friend of mine. Look you found me, I'm fine, now you need to leave John. Shit, I'll call you tomorrow." I tried not sounding whinny, but I was - so much for standing up to him. "Mikey, this isn't like you man. Who lives here?" "A friend of mine, all right. Can we leave it at that?" "What's his name?" he asked, a hint of disgust in his voice. I was now sure I had made the wrong choice, letting him in that is. I remembered then that I had left my bra and the breast forms on the floor living room near the couch. He had to have seen them. Fuck! "Her name is Rachel." I stammered, over doing the 'her'. "Where is this 'Rachel'?" he punctuated it oddly. Think fast, "Working, she works at the Grand Cayman casino. You know the new one." I felt like I was losing control of the situation. I must have been kidding myself thinking I could control John. He turned to face me, "I don't believe you Mikey." He paused to let that sink in, to let me squirm a little. "Know what I think? I think you've gone queer bud. How long you been a fag Mikey?" I was speechless. He walked toward me and I couldn't move I couldn't make my body move. I felt every breath I took and my ears had the slightest hint of ringing in them. When he was within arms reach of me he reached toward my head and I tried to pull away, "You been wearing earrings long Mikey?" He said flicking my earlobe. When I didn't answer him right away, he kicked at the blanket at my feet exposing them even more, "Nice toes nails, does the polish on your fingers match?" I was fucked! I labored to breathe. Shit! How could I have been so stupid? So fucking stupid! Earrings, toenails, I took a step back, but couldn't bring myself to look at him. "John, just leave." It was as heartfelt as I could make my wishes known. "Don't think so buddy. You have any idea of what you put me through, let alone your folks - who by the way aren't on fucking vacation like you told me. What about Bob dude? Fuck, you were his 'chosen one'! You were his fucking 'teachers pet'. Man you blew that one big time!" he paused to let that sink in. "This shit must mean you aren't coming back to GAC (Global Access Cable)? Damn, a fucking fag. I would have never guessed." I still couldn't look at him or move. I felt ashamed and angry with myself. My wants in life were going to have some adverse effects on those I knew. God Damn it! "You need to leave John." I whispered. "No, I think I need a beer or something to drink. Drop the damn blanket and get me something to drink." He turned toward the living room, taking a seat in the easy chair. When I didn't move right away he called to me, "Come on bitch, get me a drink." His words stung and I could feel tears well in my eyes. I dropped the blanket and went into the kitchen to get him a beer. I returned to the living room and to his stares. He took the beer, "That shit there yours?" he said pointing to the bra and breast forms with the beer bottle. I nodded and bent to pick them up. As I did he bolted upright in the easy chair, "What the fuck!" he said shouted, "What's with your chest? Let me see. What did you do to yourself?" John had seen down my shirt as I had bent to pick the bra and breast Forms up. I stood quickly holding them close to my chest when he shouted at me. I was very afraid now, my body felt cold and stiff. "Lift your shirt man. I want to see." When I didn't move fast enough he threatened me, "Lift the fucking shirt or I'll rip it off you God Damn it!" I did as I was told fear gripped me tighter now. John's face had a sour look on it, he looked a little queasy and as I explained what Dr. Hanson had done he raised a hand to stop me not wanting to hear any more. "Put your fucking shirt down you freak! God, that's gross Mikey, what the hell were you thinking? You want to be a fucking woman? Shit dude! That's just not right! What's next? Cut your cock off? I can't believe you are wearing fucking bitch cotton panties! Pathetic Mikey, fucking pathetic" He took a long pull of the beer I had given him. I turned to put my bra and breast forms on the kitchen counter. I had to get him out of here some how. I would deal with the damage John was sure to do to me back at GAC and with, God help me, my parents. "John, finish the beer and get out of here all right?" I couldn't turn around to face him. I heard him sucking at his beer again and then silence, "Who lives here Mikey?" "I do." "No, who fucking owns this place? Is he the one paying all the bills? He your boyfriend or something?" his voice was dripping with sarcasm. "It's not like that John." "Then how is it? You taking it up the ass for this guy?" I leaned over the counter to grab the glass of water I had drunk from to take my first hormone pills. I couldn't believe he was so brazen! I sipped the water and tried to think of what to do next. "Damn, nice ass you have! Fuck Mikey, how did I never get a good view of that girly body you have?" I stood a little straighter, Brad's shirt falling back down enough to Cover my ass again. Shit! He probably thinks I'm teasing him or something. This can't be happening! "What do you call yourself? Rachel?" he asked a little mellower, maybe the beer was getting the best of him. If I could just get him drunk enough to push him off the balcony! I nodded 'Yes', realizing he was waiting for an answer. "I think I want to see Rachel before I go. Get dressed and don't fucking wear those cotton bullshit panties! Sexy, wear something really sexy." He stood and walked toward me, veering off to the kitchen. He placed the empty bottle on the counter and retrieved a new one from the refrigerator. He turned to look at me, "Look, I'll leave after I meet Rachel. I might even keep your fucking secret if you are convincing." He returned to the living room without even a second glance in my direction. After opening the beer and picking up the remote from the couch he turned the TV on sinking lazily into the easy chair. Shit! He had just made himself at home, set the bar high, and expected me to perform. My chest started aching, throbbing. I needed a better plan than dressing up as Rachel for this asshole. I turned and walked down the hall, stopping in the second bathroom on my way to my room. I opened the medicine cabinet and looked for anything that might slow this guy down. Of course the delivery would be a little difficult. Nothing, no sleep aide, prescription pain pills, nothing! Maybe I would have more luck in my bathroom. The story was the same there also, nothing even remotely close to anything that would slow this guy down. I'd have to fix that somehow for the future. I went back into the bedroom and sat on the bed to think out my next move. I looked over at the door to the bedroom. It didn't lock. Another thing I needed to fix. Could I barricade myself in here? I looked at the dresser, no way I could move that thing, even if the drawers were empty. Fuck! I picked the phone up off the floor. I had to call Brad. I keyed his number in and waited. Nothing, just silence. I hung up the phone and turned it on again. No dial tone. SHIT! Did it break from falling off the bed earlier or had John disconnected it in the kitchen? Now what? Nothing left to do but get dressed and hope that he leaves. I went to the closet and looked over what I had to wear. You would think that after spending over $1600 shopping yesterday I would have more to wear! I grabbed a short skirt first. Nope, wasn't going to work it was way too wrinkled. I was left with the choice of jeans or one of two dresses I had bought. I could wear shorts, but again didn't think that would fly. I guess it was time to wear a dress. I pulled the less revealing and more conservative of the two off the hanger and laid it on the bed. It was mostly black with some gray fringe around the collar area. I grabbed my gray 3-inch pumps and a pair of black nylons. In keeping with the 'black' theme I pulled out a black lacey Olga bra and Black floral laced panties. This would have to do I decided, I hated the Thought of wearing a dress though. I just couldn't get past the breast forms issue and wearing a dress. I left everything on the bed and went about doing my hair and makeup. I was getting nervous now, but for some reason I kind of liked this challenge. Sick I know, but if I could drop John's jaw a little maybe he wouldn't cut me up so bad to those I knew back at work. I paused while putting my eyeliner on. Who am I kidding? That bastard doesn't have a heart. He'll just make fun of me... "Yo Mikey! What the fuck is taking so long?" I heard him yell. I walked to the door of the bedroom and spoke down the hall, "Sharon doesn't get dressed in less than five minutes do she? You'll just have to wait." "What?" he called back, turning the volume down on the TV. "Just a few more minutes." I called back to him. What an asshole. "Yeah, well hurry the fuck up! You've been in there for a damn half- hour!" The TV volume rose. Whatever! I returned to my makeup and teased my hair one last time. Time to get dressed. I slowly unbuttoned Brad's shirt and let it slip off my shoulders. Damn my chest was killing me. The needle marks looked like big white mosquito bites in my chest and three of them were bruised now. Shit! I took my cotton panties off and dropped them on top of Brad's shirt. Guess I was ready. Slowly I pulled on the black panties. They were so gorgeous, silky, and beautiful. Of all the pairs I had bought yesterday these were my favorite. When they were on I never wanted to take them off. I ran a hand over my legs and decided a little stubble would have to do, there was no time for a shower, let alone shaving my legs smooth. I grabbed the nylons and scrunched them down to the toes, gliding them every so slowly up my legs. As I pulled them over my panties I stopped. The gaffe. I need to put the gaffe on. I took the nylons off as carefully as I had been pulling them on and slid my panties down. I stepped into the gaffe and gently secured my clit back before pulling it tightly in place. It felt funny for some reason, no tingle from my touch, no arousal. The straps that made this 'accessory' framed my shaved pubic area. I pulled my panties back on and then the nylons. I pulled the bra around my waist with the clasp in front so as to make it easier to get the damn thing clasped. Once fastened I slid it around my waist until the cups were in front. This I knew would help keep my chest immobile as I tried to get the straps over my shoulders. The pain now seemed to be growing in my chest, not subsiding. I ran the straps ever so slowly up my arms and onto my shoulders. One quick adjustment of a twisted strap and I was ready to insert the breast forms. I pulled the cup out and slowly inserted the first breast form. The Moment it touched my chest I withered in pain. Oh FUCK! It hurt so bad I thought seriously about taking it out and going with out. Unfortunately it wasn't going to make Rachel look very complete not having them in, so I endured the placing of the second breast form in the other cup. The pain brought tiny tears to my eyes. I had to sit afterwards to get some relief, catch my breath. The weight of the forms pulled down on my chest and the bra felt too tight all of a sudden. I thought about adjusting it, but didn't want to go through all this pain again. Fuck it, I can live with it. I unzipped the dress and stepped into it. I wouldn't need a slip, it was lined with one - probably why it cost so damn much. I did my best to zip it up once it was on and over my shoulders, but I couldn't get it much over my mid-back without excruciating pain. I found a hanger and bent it apart. I made a little hook in one end and fished it through the zipper. It came right up as I pulled it over my shoulder. Ha Ha! I smoothed the dress out, looked myself over and slid the gray pumps on. Perfect! If he didn't think I made a good-looking woman he could just fuck himself! One last look and I nervously pulled the bedroom door open. The TV was a little loud as I walked into the living room area and at first I thought John was asleep. It had taken me about fifty minutes to actually be ready for this and in that time he had helped himself to three more beers, four in all. Good, if he was drunk and not pissed I would have more control over him and that would make it easier to get him out the door. I walked slowly into his view. He wasn't sleeping and sat up a little straighter. "Go get me another beer." He held the one he had finished with his finger inside the bottle. Great, I was his fucking housemaid now? I turned and went to get him another beer. No comments? No surprise? What the fuck was this assholes problem? He just sat there watching the TV. I returned with his beer and traded him for the empty, setting it on the end table in front of the couch with the other four empty bottles. He starred at the TV a little longer, then turned it off while taking a long pull from the beer. "Turn around," he barked. He startled me. I did as he asked and slowly turned around. "Walk over to the door and back," he commanded. I walked over to the door, knowing my ass was swaying with every step I Made in these 3-inch heels. Mistake, I should have worn a pair of my black flats. I turned at the door and took a few steps back toward him. As I reached the couch he stood and I stopped dead in my tracks, "All right. You've seen me as Rachel. Time to leave," my voice was shaky but I think convincing. John didn't say a word, he just starred at me. "Come over here." When I didn't move he took a step toward me. I took a step back, he had a funny look on his face, "You said you would leave after you saw Rachel. Well? It's time to go." I looked toward the door hoping he would just walk past me and leave. He kept coming toward me and I took another step back. He stopped right In front of me and looked down at me. "Damn Mikey, you're fucking hot." He leaned in to smell my hair and slowly ran a hand down my shoulder and arm. "You're hot, but you haven't convinced me yet." I didn't like the sound of that and tried to push him back. That maneuver only served to turn up the volume of the pain I was feeling in my chest. I grimaced, can't move like that again. "I did as you asked now fucking leave!" that outburst driven more because I was in pain than I thought I had the upper hand. He starred down at me for a moment and placed his hands on my shoulders, "Convince me Mikey," he paused, "on your knees." And I could feel him pushing down on my shoulders and there was nothing I could do to stop from being forced down to my knees. We were near the front door and my pumps scrapped against the wall as he forced me to my knees. The pain in my chest spiked to a level I couldn't bare, and the only comfort I got was moving in the direction that he was forcing me. I gave up and got down on my knees. As I was going down, I felt like I was hunching over and fell to my knees clumsily while trying to pull my dress up before making contact with the floor. I tried to get my balance but fell forward and my head crashed into John's crotch. I looked up immediately, "Come on John, this isn't right," I said, my voice my own and not Rachel. He starred down at me and grabbed a handful of my hair, pulling me to the right and almost knocking me off balance. I yelped in pain. His expression was unchanged, "I said fucking convince me Mikey. Now!" And with that he brought my face to within inches of his crotch. I wanted to tell him to 'Go to Hell!' but my body was being assaulted by pain. My chest, my hair, and my knees were screaming out. I tried to wither myself into a less painful position, but his hand yanked my head back in front of him. I clawed feebly at his grip in my hair. I was trapped, I had to at least do something to get out of the position I was in, "Wait. Augh!" he pulled my hair forcing my neck back, "I give up damn it! Why don't you," he loosened his grip on my hair and then tightened his fist, "God! Stop! Just sit down, OK?" my face grimaced, "Sit, relax, no need to..." he pulled my head to the side. He turned to look over at the easy chair and pulled me to my feet by my hair. I tried not to struggle against his control over me, sharp pains from my chest burned with every jerk and sway of the breast forms. He guided me to the chair and I followed like some dog on a leash, his hand locked in my hair. When he was in front of the chair he released me and told me to get on my knees. I did as I was told this time. I couldn't take him pulling my hair any more. Tears began to roll down my face. My emotions were getting the better of me. The fear I was feeling, the unrelenting pain, my emotions completely shot. I watched as he undid his jeans and quickly stepped out of them. His boxers were loose and his manhood was at full attention, pressing against the material of the boxers, and there was a small wet spot near the waistband. He had always bragged about being well endowed and now I knew he wasn't kidding. I was scarred to death now, this wasn't going to end well, and this is Not what I wanted to be doing. I prayed he was just testing me, to see if I was really sure of this life choice I had made. This was all wrong - I hadn't planned for people I knew to find out about Rachel. The embarrassment and shame that was to follow this night would break me. John had no idea what damage he... "OK Mikey, we can do this the easy way or I can make it hard for you. How do you want to play it faggot?" his word spat his disgust, challenging me, forcing my self worth lower than it was already. "John... this isn't right." I whispered. I couldn't look him in the eye and stared numbly at his feet praying he would reconsider. "To late Mikey. Consider this a test, a way to validate your - what do I call this - your new life choice? Fuck man! You fucking disappeared on us man! Disappeared...", his voice trailed off. "You don't understand, I couldn't just..." "Fuck that! Time to prove yourself." And with that he slowly slid his boxers down until they fell into a pile at his feet. He then sat on the edge of the easy chair. When I didn't move fast enough for him he reached for my head, I pushed his hand away, "Please John..." I looked up at him, tears welling up in my eyes again. When he didn't budge or back down I reached slowly for his manhood and slowly tried to wrap my hand around it near the base, he was so big. With my other hand I cupped his balls gently and they were so large there was no way I could get a grip on them with just one hand. One last look into his eyes and seeing they were closed now I resigned myself to just getting this over with. I crawled a little closer to the chair, taking up a more relaxed position between John's legs. I was happy he had given up on controlling me by my hair. I parted my brightly colored lips and flicked the head of his cock with my tongue. His legs squeezed in on me slightly and I heard his hands grasping the chair a little tighter. His precum was slick and I could feel it envelop my tongue. I opened wide and slid my lips over the engorged helmet and I could sense his body tensing. I slid my mouth down his shaft to where my hand had a feeble grasp. He was as thick as a paper towel roll I thought. When I tried to move up his shaft John moved his hips after my lips. I wasn't prepared for this. Without warning I felt John's hand at the back of my head, but instead of grabbing a handful of hair he gently pushed my face down on his shaft. He was obviously not ready for me to be moving away from where my hand was holding his shaft. When my lips were against my hand I could feel him still pushing me onto him. There was no way I could get much more of him in my mouth, but I felt my hand slip down his cock and even more of him was gently forced into my mouth. If I were to make it to the base of his cock I would need at least two more inches of throat! And with his cocks girth there was no way I could relax enough to get all of him in my mouth. I began to gag, breathing heavily through my nostrils. I placed my free hand on this thigh and tried to lessen the pressure he was exerting on my head. We were locked in a battle of wills! I couldn't take all of him and he was insistent on getting more of himself inside my mouth. I tried squeezing what little of his ball sack I had in my hand, but it only caused him to moan in pleasure. My head was bobbing up and down an inch or so as we each fought for position. What I hadn't expected was to feel his cock pulsate twice and to hear him to draw a large breath of air quickly between clenched teeth as he forced my head down with more force than I could fight. Having a mans cock explode in your mouth is like nothing you'll ever experience. The rush of his pleasure, the force of the cum escaping his cock, and the sheer fear you have that you won't be able to catch your breath through swallowing his cum down your throat - it is incredible. Of course these first few pulsations were only the beginning. They were followed by more powerful sprays of John's hot cum as his cock exploded deep in my throat. The more I fought to get free the more he gyrated his manhood past my lips, past what I could comfortably take. I had lost all control of the situation and began to gag violently. I was whining like a trapped animal and began to shake my head in every direction I could to free myself. The cum wouldn't stop shooting into my throat. I couldn't breathe and I could feel my nails digging into his legs now as I tried to free myself. Nothing I did made a difference. I couldn't swallow with him so deep in my throat and what didn't make it down my throat drooled pathetically out between my lips and his shaft. I tried taking long breathes through my nose, but began to feel faint. I felt a tingle in my temples and either I was swaying or the room was moving gently back and forth. "What are you doing to my man bitch?" I heard a females voice as I felt myself falling over onto the floor. I would have tried to focus on where the voice had come from, but breathing seemed to be more of a priority. I coughed a heavy wet cough and gasped for air again. Cum covered my chin and some had even began to drool out my nostrils. I couldn't move and felt my body heave heavily as the breaths I took filled my lungs. I spat onto the carpet a small amount of cum and tried to bring my knees up toward my chest. The heavy odor of John's cum seemed to coat every inch of my body. "You fucking hear me Mikey? What are you doing with my man?" The ringing in my ears wouldn't stop and I prayed when I opened my eyes Shannon wouldn't be standing there. My God, had she been watching? How Did she get in here? I opened my eyes slowly and knew the high heels just inches from my face were Shannon's. They were 4" stiletto faux snakeskin pumps and I slowly followed her shapely legs up to the low black mini skirt she was wearing. Beyond that her face was beet red and there was no mistaking her disgust and the look of betrayal on her face. I closed my eyes again. "Mikey?" her voice was calmer now, "What the hell just happened here?" I coughed again and took a slow breath in, "I'm not sure." "What?" My chest was on fire again and I could sense it pulse with every heartbeat. Something wasn't right, "Help me..." I croaked and tried to reach for the shoe closest to my face. "This is what you want isn't it?" she spoke slowly in a husky voice while lifting her skirt slowly up. "You want a pussy Mikey don't you?" she began to rub it slowly with her left hand, reaching under the waist band of her panty hose and pushing her panties into her slit. "Oh this feels so good... You want to feel this don't you Mikey? I mean Rachel." and she rocked violently as she appeared to organism while vibrating her fingertip over her clit. This can't be happening! I watched totally focused, in complete fascination as she continued rubbing her pussy above me, watching the wetness grow over the silky blue material of her panties. "Do what I'm doing Rachel... feel how I'm feeling...," she cooed. I couldn't move. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. "Do it you fucking faggot!" John yelled and kicked me to get my attention. I turned my head to look in the direction the kick had come from, startled to see John standing just behind me. He was naked and slowly pleasuring himself, trying to become erect again. How did he... I mean was he premature just a moment ago? "Oh... Rachel...," Shannon was moaning louder now and I turned back to watch her, not wanting to miss what I wanted so desperately to feel, to experience myself. But something was different. Shannon had undone her blouse. Her skirt and pantyhose lay in a pile at her feet. Her beautiful breasts peeked playfully from behind the open blouse and I could see them straining the cups of her bra as she swayed while riding her finger. As memorized as I was with the sight of her I was becoming more worried that if she got much loader she would wake the neighbors. "Come here..." I heard John say and watched as Shannon stepped over me to stand in front of him. I couldn't move and watched as they kissed passionately above me. I watched John's hands glided over her panty cover ass. She had the Nicest ass of any woman I knew. John had told me he had ridden it more than once and nothing compared to fucking a chick up the ass he always said. Was it as good for the women I wondered? My own experience was... "I think we should show our faggot here what he's in for, don't you?" "Oh yes... if he really wants to be a woman he needs to feel what I'm feeling," Shannon giggled, "You want that don't you Rachel? To feel a cock inside of you..." At first I didn't understand what she meant, but as John hooked his Fingers in the waste band of her panties I felt my own panties being touched. When John slid them down I swear I felt them glide down from her hips, past her knees and onto the floor. What was going on? I was on the floor, in almost the fetal position, and I could feel every sensation Shannon was feeling! Or was I? John slowly spun Shannon around and positioned her so she was straddling my body. It was so strange - I could feet him removing her blouse, feel him undoing her bra, I could feel the weight of her breasts on my chest. When he slid his hands down her stomach to her trimmed pubic hair I could feel it and I took in short little breathes as my own excitement built. This can't be happening! Why do I feel her? It was surreal, I could see and feel everything that was going on between them. When he parted the lips of her dripping wet pussy I felt it. When he playfully rubbed the head of his cock over her clit I shuddered. When his hand cupped one breast and slowly traced her nipple I felt chills shot through my chest. What is going on! Before I could analyze what was going on and why I was feeling what I was feeling John thrust his cock into Shannon's sloppy pussy and her convulsions rocked me. I gave up trying to make sense of it and tried to gyrate as Shannon was. She seemed as much in control as John was. She moved, thrust against him, shifted her body, pulled at her clit, and ground her ass into John's hips all in an attempt to stimulate some spot deep inside her pussy. A spot I could see in my mind, I could see how she was trying to position herself. What she was trying to keeps John's cock deep in her. "Uh... do you feel... do you feel that Mikey?" Shannon hissed through tight lips. "Right there..." but before I could get a true sense of what she was feeling, what I was feeling through her, it was gone. With every thrust John made she would whisper "there..." or "Oh.. YES!" or "Mikey.." Before either Shannon or I wanted it was over. John moaned loudly and grasped Shannon's hips burying his cock to its base into her dripping pussy. I could feel his cock vibrate, the power of its convulsions, his hands squeezing in desperation her hips, my hips being held, I could feel his pleasure, I could feel her shudder in pleasure, and the undeniable frustration us two women were left with. I wondered how could this be over so soon? What about me! My needs! "Oh shit!" John said louder than I expected and totally breaking the essence of what had just happened. "God damn you are so hot Shannon!" "Oh yeah baby! You were so good, wouldn't you say so Mikey? You felt him inside of you. Tell us how it was." Shannon said looking down at me but rolling her eyes. I couldn't move, I felt on edge - like I had been cheated in some way. When I didn't reply she looked back at John, who was now moving away from us and looking for his beer, "Don't you think Bob would proud of our little Mikey, honey? And his parents, holly shit are they in for a big surprise!" The glow I was feeling just moments ago was all but gone the instant Shannon spoke Bob's name. I can't explain why exactly in that moment the view I had of myself, my new life became so clear. It was humbling and I felt cheap, dirty, and like I had bretrayed all those who were important to me somehow all of a sudden. What the hell was I thinking? What am I doing with my life? I began to wonder if I had betrayed myself to become someone I really wasn't. Was I doing the right thing? Is this what I wanted my life to be? It was funny as I floated there along my subconsicence how I felt like a pot of water on its way to a boil. My emotions, my fears, and my doubts bubbling, rolling and rising to the surface. Bubbling out of control! My life had become the water in the pot. A pot full of hooks and fantasies - everything that was my life right now felt as though it was void of reality! I'm in limbo, I'm in... "Poor little sissy. Look at him, he looks so lost," Shannon quiped as she stepped into her panties and wiggled into them. I could still sense things that were happening to her and my own crotch felt wet against my panties, just like hers did. I thought about feeling for John's cum, but decided it was impossible for there to be any on my body. It was all so confusing. Just add the last few moments to the stack of riddles I had to solve before I could find happiness! John grunted something in the background and I could hear him take a long pull on his beer, finishing it with a little smack of his lips and an exaggerated, "Ah!" After he put the bottle down he came back over and stood over me, starring at me for a long moment. His eyes were piercing, as if they were searching my soul, seeing my doubt, "So pathetic. You fucking lost little faggot! I bet your daddy is going to shit Mikey when he finds out!" I already knew my life choice was going to have adverse effect on others, but somehow I thought it would be easier. I had fooled myself into believing it was going to be easier. I thought people would understand. I thought maybe, just maybe they would even accept my new life even if they disagreed. I guess I wasn't prepared to come face to face with people from my past life so soon on this journey. I certainly failed to make a case for myself with all I had done to continue this lie tonight. It was a lie wasn't it? These last few moments feeling what it was to be Shannon and the guilt that I was bearing because of what I knew others would think. John and Shannon being here tonight certainly brought back the reality of my situation. No fantasy there! I thought maybe if I could just... "Rachel?" a voice drifted past my self doubts. At first I didn't recognize it, but then I was sure it sounded like Bob. Please not this, not now, not Bob! "Rachel?" the voice was a little more urgent but I couldn't tell for sure if it was Bob or not. God please, he can't be hear to see me like this! "Rach?" "NOOooo!" I sat up and tried to focus, my hands grasping at the dark. I felt hands softly rest on my shoulders and I could sense someone was sitting next to me. The TV was off and the room was lit only by the light coming from the bathroom. I felt wet, Brad's shirt was sweat soaked and I was chilled, goosebumps rising all over my body. I was awake now, fully awake. My chest was a glow and on fire still. There was still a fog I was fighting to see through and I tried to decide whether the events I had experienced so vividly after going to bed were real or not. I tried to peer over and past the figure in front of me searching for... "Rachel? It's me kid, relax." he moved his face a little closer to mine trying to line up our eyes, looking to see if I was all there, "I'm here. Easy now." and he tried to guide me back onto the pillows he had arranged behind me. "No..," my face tightened in pain as it felt like my chest was cramping, "Wait... I think I'm going to be sick." I whispered. Brad stop all movements and had a questioning look on his face, "You think you are going to throw up?" he asked meekly. I mumbled 'Yes' weakly and stared down at the sheets. Brad got up without shaking the bed too much and went into the bathroom. I heard water running and moment later he returned with the small garbage can from the bathroom, a wet hand towel, and a glass of water. He situated these things around me and convinced me to take a tiny sip of water, "You look like you are in a lot of pain. What's wrong?" I shook my head 'Yes' and reached for the garbage can, holding it close To my face. I don't want to throw up! I tried to breath slow and deep. Funny, if I didn't get a grip on myself, on my life, the view from the bottom of this garbage can would be better than my current view! My stomach rumbled and I clutched the garbage can tighter. Nothing. I wasn't going to complain about that! I half-hiccuped and the pressure seemed to subside. "Maybe if you throw up you'll feel better Rach," Brad whispered as if we were in church or something. "It's going to..." my stomach gurgled loudly enough that Brad raised his eyebrows, "... going to take more than a barf session to make things right." I looked up over the lip of the garbage can into his eyes and could see he was puzzled, even in the dimly lit room I could see a glimmer of fear in them. "What does that mean?" "It means I can't do this Brad. It means I've bitten off more than I can chew. People are relying on me, have expectations of me, and trust me to be me. To be who I was, I mean, who I'm supposed to be. I can't be who I am now. I can't go against the world in this fantasy world surrounding me right now." I was on a roll and before I could let him talk me out of going back to my old life I was going to make a stand! "I think I've made a mistake, I mean this isn't right." and as quick as I was leading the charge I was turning around and retreating. I was scared, unsure of myself, full of selfdoubt, and I felt like a lost child. I wasn't even sure I was making sense! Did I explain anything just now or am I just a fucking head case? Brad's expression never faultered, "I don't understand. You mean you went down this path and now you have some doubt? Who doesn't have doubts Rachel." his voice was raised and he knew it. After a pause he began again, but a little more calmly, "Rachel, this is only day..." "I don't care what day it is Brad," tears began to well in my eyes, "Can't you see...," and he knelt on the floor beside me, wrapping his arms around me. "I can't do this..." "It's OK, relax. I gotcha..," he cooed, "We'll figure it out, I promise." "There's nothing to figure out Brad," the lump in my throat making it hard to speak. The room was a blur as the tears freely rolled down my face. "I quit..," and as soon as I said this I clutched him tighter. I sobbed in his arms like I had never before in my life. My life had crossed many lines to get where I was at this moment. Hell, it blurred all the lines that kept me safe and secure for that matter! Yet I knew in my heart which line I needed to stand behind. At least I thought I knew.. My head hurt, my chest was killing me, and I felt like... To be continued....