Desert JailChapter 9 Where is Clarissa
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Chapter 23
Two days past and the phone rang. It was a Thursday afternoon and Brenda
was trying to find a way to go into Melissa's office to see what she
could find that might help the investigation.
"Universal modeling, how may I help you?" Brenda asked.
"Brenda, its Bill Cline. I have some bad news for you. Your father has
been in an accident and your mother has asked that you call her. She had
no way of getting a hold of you so she called the bureau and they
forwarded her message to me. She's asked that you come home because he is
in a coma."
"Oh my God, what should I do?"
"I can give you a couple of days off, go home tomorrow and come back
Monday, nothing will change as far as the investigation is concerned and
it's important that you visit your family."
"What about my disguise?"
"There's nothing you can do about that, and it's up to you whether you go
home or not. I'm not forcing you to go but at least call you mother and
see what she has to say."
"Thanks Bill."
Brenda hung up the phone and took her cell phone out to call her mother.
She was a nervous wreck after hearing the news of her father. She
couldn't use the company phone or the address for her parents home might
be traced by the call. Brenda punched in the number and the phone rang
twice before her mother answered the call.
"Hello," her mother said.
"Mom, it's Bren, I mean, its Matt."
"Who is this? Matt? It doesn't sound like you, young lady, we're going
through a very difficult time right now and this isn't funny."
"Mom, it is me, I'm undercover remember?"
Matt had told his mother that he was going to be a girl as his disguise
and she laughed about it saying that it would be a good lesson for him to
learn about women. He was also supposed to tell her about the hormones
but didn't when he changed doctors and moved to New York.
"My goodness, I forgot, you sound just like a girl. I would have never
known it was you. Matt, you have to come home, your father was in an
accident and they don't know if he's going to live or die and I want all
of you boys here, I need for you to come home."
"I don't know if I can mom, I'm undercover and I have this disguise."
"I talked to your superiors and they said you could come home for a few
days, so please baby, come home."
"But mom, what about my disguise?"
"Take it off and put it back on when you return to work."
"It's not that easy mom, you can hear my voice, well I look like a girl
too."
"Just change your clothes, how hard can that be?"
"Mom, its more than just clothes, I'm supposed to be a girl, I look like
one."
"What do you mean you look like one?"
"Do you remember my mousy brown hair?"
"Yes."
"It's not mousy brown anymore, it's auburn with blond highlights and its
been permed. My brows have been plucked, my nails are long, my ears have
three earrings on each side and I have a figure. If I put on my old
clothes I'll look like a girl wearing boys clothes, I can't mom."
"You have to come home, you owe it to your father to be here. If it makes
you feel any better come home dressed like a girl, but I want you here."
"Everyone will laugh at me."
"No they won't, I'll explain that your disguise is part of what you are
doing and your brothers will be fine with it. I think it will be fun
seeing you as a girl, now get on a plane and come home."
"Yes mom."
Melissa returned from lunch so Brenda gave up the idea of searching her
office. That would have to wait for another day.
"Melissa, my mom just called and asked that I come home over the weekend.
My father was in a serious accident and is in a coma and, and," Brenda
couldn't finish as she dissolved in tears.
Melissa came to her and held her and said, "You go home sweetheart, we'll
be alright until you get back."
Brenda composed herself and hugged Melissa.
"Thank you Melissa, you're so nice, would you mind if I go home now, I
have to pack?"
"Run along sweetheart and I hope your dad gets well."
"Thank you."
Brenda left the office and wondered how people could say that Melissa was
a bitch when she had just been so nice to her. She was feeling guilty
about what she was doing until she thought of Connie and the hell Melissa
was putting her through. She was becoming aware of what a chameleon
Melissa really was.
Brenda arrived at home and opened the front door to the apartment
building. When the door shut Annie opened her door to see who was coming
into the building this time of day.
"Brenda, what are you doing here?" she asked.
"I have to go back home for a few day's my father is in a coma," she
replied as her eyes filled with tears.
"Come in here dear and close the door."
Brenda was shattered by the news of her father and the high amount of
hormones she was taking wasn't helping her cope with the news, she was
becoming a wreck.
"Sit down dear, let me get you a cup of tea."
Annie returned with the tea and asked, "Tell me what happened?"
"My father was in an accident and is in a coma and they don't know if
he's going to live or die," Brenda sobbed.
"There, there, sweetheart, everything will be okay, drink your tea, it
will make you feel better."
Brenda sipped her tea and was able to stop the tears.
"My mom called me and asked that I come home. I'll fly home tomorrow and
come back Monday, would you watch my place for me?"
"Of course dear, would you like me to help you pack?'
"No, that's okay, I can do it myself, I love you Annie, you're like
another mother to me."
"Oh Brenda, to be honest you've become like a daughter to me, the one I
never had. You're such a sweet girl that any woman would be proud to have
a girl like you for a daughter."
"Thank you Annie, I feel a bit better now, I'm going to pack and see if I
can get a flight out in the morning."
"You be careful and hurry home, I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too, Annie," Brenda said as the two women embraced.
Brenda went to pack, wondering what she should wear. In the suitcase went
panties, her new bras, and as much else that would fit. She thanked God
that it was a large suitcase or she would be in trouble, after all what
woman doesn't have enough changes for two weeks including shoes for a
three day stay?
Brenda called for an airline ticket. She would have to fly out of Newark
and made her reservations for the next morning.
Brenda called for a ride the next morning and was able to get to the
airport for a flat fee of thirty dollars. She passed through ticketing
and security with a minimal amount of problems using her FBI
identification. She boarded her flight and found her seat. A woman sat
next to her and soon the flight was in the air. Brenda didn't want to
talk to anyone and apparently the woman next to her didn't either.
Brenda let her mind wander. She began to worry what her family was going
to say when they saw her. She had decided to wear her business clothing,
there was no reason to dress down because no mater what she was to do she
would look like a girl, the FBI had seen to that and her own choices had
finished the project. She chose to wear three-inch heels a skirt and coat
with a blouse that allowed a small amount of cleavage to show. It was no
more than she would have shown if she still had her breast forms so she
wasn't worried her mother would find out about her breasts.
The movie started and it was a girl's movie. Brenda tried to watch but it
didn't interest her, she had other things on her mind. The movie ended
and she removed the in flight magazine from the seat back and opened the
cover only to discover Tiffany in a seductive dress from Margaret Voss.
"What a beautiful dress," said the woman next to her.
"Yes, isn't it nice?"
"I'd love to have one like that, if only I could afford it."
"I know what you mean. The model is my best friend, and even she can't
get me a discount," Brenda giggled. "We both work for the same modeling
agency."
"You know Tiffany Rollins? God I'd love to meet her. I'm Christine Blanko
by the way."
"Hi, I'm Brenda Watson, I thought I would be the only person in the world
going to Santa Maria today."
"I have a story to cover there, I'm a reporter for Time magazine. I'd
love to be able to interview Tiffany someday. She's, if you'll pardon the
expression, knocking the fashion world on its rear. I've never seen a
girl rise so fast. She has this look that haunts you once you've seen
her, she so beautiful."
"She's sweet too, give me your card and I'll ask her if she'll see you."
"You'd do that?"
"Why not, you seem like a nice person."
"I hope to see you again Brenda, you're very nice too."
Christine handed Brenda her card and the two made small talk until the
plane landed.
Brenda rented a car and soon was driving to her mom's home. She drove
down the 101 and turned off onto Main Street. She headed west until she
reached Santa Inez Drive and turned left. There was something comforting
about being home. Tall maples lined both sides of the street and the
leaves had just began to fall covering the well kept lawns in front of
the Spanish style homes. Brenda drove two blocks stopped in front of a
newly painted Spanish style stucco home. The arch over the front porch
hadn't change nor did the plants hanging from hooks in pottery
containers. The vines reached nearly to the ground. Brenda felt serene as
she turned off the motor in the car. She removed the key from the
ignition and opened the car door, she was home.
Well here goes nothing she thought as the fear started to return. Her
heels clicked on the cement walkway as she walked to the four stairs she
used to jump off of as a child. She stepped gingerly up onto the porch
and rang the doorbell. The door opened and her mother smiled. It was a
smile that made her remember how much she had missed her mother.
"Yes, may I help you," her mother asked.
"Mom, it's me, Matt."
Her mother's face turned ashen in color, she was going to faint.
Brenda grabbed her mother before she could fall and brought her to the
old fashioned seat with the mirror back and coat hangers at the top of
each post and lowered her before she fell. Several minutes past until her
mother could speak.
"My God Matt, what happened to you?"
"I warned you mom, I told you I couldn't change out of my disguise,
please don't be angry."
"But, you look so, God, so pretty, couldn't you do something about that?"
"What am I supposed to do mom, this is the way I look now. I tried
warning you."
Brenda's eyes were beginning to fill with tears, if she were to cry, that
would put her mother over the top, she had to hold strong.
"I know you did, but I thought you would look like a boy in a dress and
we'd have a good laugh. But you're pretty and sexy besides, you look like
a real girl."
"If I didn't I'd be killed mom, this is really serious stuff."
"This is how you live now?"
"Until the assignment is over."
"But you're so pretty, don't you worry about boys?"
"No, why would I?"
"Because I remember when you and your brothers were home and all you
talked about was how hot some girl was and now you're that girl."
"I can handle myself mom, remember I went through the academy and they
did teach us self defense."
"I'm sure guys must whistle at you."
"Not yet, and beside what harm can come from a whistle?"
"It's just not right, maybe I shouldn't have asked you to come here."
"Don't say that mom, please?"
The hurtful words pushed Brenda past her will and the tears ran down her
cheeks and dropped to the floor.
Mrs. Watson saw what she had done to her son with her words. It wasn't
Matt's fault that he was pretty and he was just doing this because of his
job. It was unnerving that he could look so much like a pretty girl and
what was worse he acted like one too, he had indeed become the girl he
portrayed.
Natalie Watson stood and hesitated, she wanted to take her son in her
arms to comfort him, she truly did, but couldn't find herself to do so.
This was going to take some time to resolve.
"I'm sorry Matt, I shouldn't have said what I did, I'm glad you're here,
really I am."
"Mom, who's here?" a voice from the back of the house shouted.
"It's Matt," she replied.
"Matt, is it true, does he look like a girl?" asked the voice.
Steps could be heard on the hardwood floor as Mel Watson walked to see
his brother.
He rounded the corner and saw Brenda for the first time.
"Holy shit Matt, you look like a chick."
"Watch your mouth young man, don't you dare use that language around your
sister," Natalie said.
"But he's not my sister, he's Matt," Mel whimpered.
"As long as he looks like this he's your sister, do I make myself clear?"
"Yes mom."
Brenda couldn't believe her ears, her mother had called her his sister,
maybe things would be alright after all.
"Hey Mark, come here, we've got a sister and she's hot."
Mark came from the family room in the rear of the house and the results
were the same as when Mel saw Brenda except his mouth opened and nothing
came out.
"Holy smoke Matt, you're pretty, what happened?" he asked when he was
able to talk.
"I'm undercover for the FBI. I'm investigating a drug ring in New York
City. I have to look and act real or I'll be killed. A girl was killed by
the ring ten months ago because she was going to go to the police."
"Why do you have to be a girl?"
"Because the agency couldn't find any girls to take the job so my best
friend and I went for it and here I am."
"You have a friend like this too?"
"Only he's much prettier than me, he's a model."
"You're shitting me, a model?"
"Yes, a model, she's becoming very famous too."
"Who is she?"
"I can't tell you that because if word got out she was an FBI agent she'd
be killed. I'll tell you after this is all over but I can't until then."
"I know this sounds stupid but I can't call you Matt while you look like
this, do you have a girls name?"
"It's Brenda."
"You mean we can't be the three M's anymore?" Mel asked.
"I almost made that same mistake when I first went undercover. I was
talking to a friend about our family and mentioned that we were the three
M's and he wondered how we could be called that if my name was Brenda, so
I thought fast and now I have a middle name of Mary."
"You were out with a guy?" Mark asked.
"No, I was just talking to a guy I know, you know a friend, like you and
Madison were years ago, you were best friends but never dated, it's kind
of like that only he's not my best friend."
"Do you always dress like this?"
"Of course not, I wanted to look nice when I got here. This is what I
wear to work, I have to look nice for the clients. Can we go sit down, my
heels are killing me."
"Welcome to my world Matt, oops I'm sorry, Brenda, let's go into the
family room. Mark, go get your sisters suitcase out of the car, she
shouldn't have to carry it, it's too heavy for a girl," Natalie said.
Mark went to retrieve the suitcase while the others moved to the family
room. The afternoon sun was just beginning to shine through the glass
wall, which looked out to the small but usable swimming pool.
Brenda remembered the fun times she and her brothers had when they were
younger swimming and dunking each other when it was too hot to do
anything else but be in the water. Being the youngest she pretty much got
the worse of the fun but she had loved every minute of it. Even when they
grew older she still couldn't beat the two older boys because she had the
unfortunate genes that had made her the shortest brother. Both of the
older boys had grown to over six feet tall, much like her father and she
took after her mother and ended up at five-foot five. The only time it
benefited her was when they went surfing, she was the best surfer in the
family but that was a while ago. She wondered now how her new body would
be on a board and what it would be like to balance, maybe next year she
would try to find out.
Brenda walked to the sofa and lowered herself to the soft cushion. Her
mother watched to see if her son was still living inside the girl. She
must have been disappointed or thrilled, it was hard to read Natalie's
thoughts as she watched her daughter lower herself with legs together,
down to sit. Brenda never lost any of her femininity as she did. Matt
would have plopped down, legs apart and kick his feet onto the table in
front of the sofa. It was almost a ritual to him. Brenda sat with her
legs together after smoothing her skirt and pulling it down to mid thigh.
She leaned over and removed her heels and curled her feet onto the sofa
next to her hips.
Natalie was conflicted, Brenda was a pretty girl and she had class. She
wasn't sure what to think about this girl, after all she had stolen her
son away and replaced him with this, this thing. She wanted to give Matt
love but this wasn't Matt anymore, Matt was gone and the way she sat
proved that. How, she wondered, was she going to be able to love the girl
that had killed her son?
Natalie was startled from her thoughts when Mark asked, "Mom, where
should I put Brenda's things?"
"In the small bedroom, you and Mel will have to share the larger room."
"Mom, when can we go to see dad?" Brenda asked.
"After four, he's in ICU and so only two of us can be in the room at one
time. Were not allowed to stay for too long. Why don't you get changed
into something more comfortable before we leave."
"Okay mom."
"It's only a little after two, I want to hear more about how this
happened to Matt," Mel said.
"Yeah me too," Mark said.
"It all started as a stupid prank when we graduated from training back in
Virginia. There's this guy who thought it would be funny to have us made
up like girls because we wanted to go undercover for this assignment in
New York City. We didn't know it was for a girl because all the notice
asked for was volunteers. My friend Dirk and I asked if we could go on
the assignment and of course he said yes and sent us to this woman who
made us up. The big joke was that we would walk into this room and the
guys would laugh and take some pictures and that would be the end of it.
What they hadn't counted on was the director walking in just before us.
When we did he thought it was a great idea. He thought we had volunteered
to be girls for the assignment and told us how great we were for doing
this. One guy even got a commendation for his part. If we decided not to
do this we would have been kicked out of the program and that's why I'm
like this now."
"What about your friend, how does he feel about this thing?"
"He hates it, he's still angry that we had to do this thing."
"I thought you said she's a famous model?"
"She is, but she still doesn't like it."
"Are you pissed off too?"
"Of course not, I decided a long time ago to go with the flow. I would
have to do this whether I was angry or not so why be mad all the time? It
was hard at first, trying to be like a girl, learning how to act was the
hardest. When you're a guy and have to act feminine it's like being gay
or something, but the more you behave like a girl the more you become
like one, you become a different person. You learn to bury your male self
and become a woman. It's hard to describe, one day your acting and then
the next you're not, you've become that person."
"How did you get so pretty?" Mark asked.
"I took after mom."
"Really Brenda, you looked like a surfer dude before, how do you do it?"
"It took a lot of time and some hormone treatment. The hormones made me
look more like a woman and I learned a lot about makeup from an expert.
Being a woman is more than looking like one, it's how you carry yourself
that says man or woman. I could remove my makeup and dress in boys
clothes and walk into a room and people would want to know why I was
dressed in boys clothing, it's not how you look, its more than that, its
an attitude."
"You're tripping me out, if I didn't know better I would have thought you
were born like this," Mel said.
"Thank you I guess, my life depends on it."
"What happens when this is all over, can you be Matt again?" Mark asked.
"I don't know, they said it should be reversible but if it's not we have
a job for life, its all in writing."
"You mean you might be stuck like this?"
"Maybe, no one knows yet and we won't know until it's over."
"Do you like being like this?" Mel asked.
"Yes, I do, its fun."
"Is it better than being a guy?"
"One's not better than the other, they're just different. When you're a
guy, you're a guy, but when you're a girl things are different. When
you're a guy people expect things from you, you're supposed to be manly
and tough, you know protective and you can't show any weakness. But as a
girl you don't have to be that way, you're free to be yourself. If you
want to cry you can, people understand because that's what a girl does or
if you want to look pretty that's okay too. If I don't want to wear
makeup I don't because no one will care. I can wear what I want without
someone saying I look like a fruit. The only thing I have to worry about
is some man bothering me and that hasn't happened yet either. I feel like
the luckiest girl in the world right now because I know what it's like to
be on the other side, to be a man."
"Why do you say it's fun, I think it would be embarrassing?"
"It's only embarrassing if you don't look or act like a girl. When you
look at me do you see a guy?"
"No, if we didn't know it was you I would have thought you were some girl
visiting," Mark replied.
"Part of the fun is fooling people and you know me I love an adventure
and being a girl is an adventure, adventures are fun."
"Well, I don't like any part of this adventure. When you told me you were
going to be a girl for some stupid assignment I thought it was funny,
maybe you would learn something, be a man in women's clothing, but not
this, you've actually become a woman," Natalie said.
"I had to mom. If I didn't the bad guys have guns and I would be killed
if they thought I was a man."
"What about your boobs, do they have to be so big and how did you get
them?" she asked.
"That was the size of breast forms they had and we decided that they
would make me look more feminine, they make my shoulders look narrower."
"They're forms, let me see?"
"NO, I'm not going to show you that. Would you show us your boobs?"
"Of course not, I'm your mother."
"And I'm your daughter, at least grant me my privacy."
"I'm sorry Brenda, I shouldn't have asked you that, I'm just not used to
having a daughter. It's almost time to go to the hospital, why don't we
get ready."
Natalie felt bad for what she had asked Brenda to do. She was her
daughter now and asking her to show her tits was disgusting to say the
least. If she had been her daughter since birth she would have struck
someone that would have asked such a thing and yet she had done the same
thing to her own flesh and blood, her daughter. She would have to change
her way of thinking and try to enjoy her new family member, her daughter.
Brenda had been insulted by what her mother had asked her to do, maybe I
should leave, they all think I'm a freak anyway. I'll go see my father
and then get a room somewhere and wait until my flight departs, I don't
have to put up with this embarrassment.
Brenda opened her suitcase and found some jeans and a top to wear. She
removed her panty hose and found a pair of white cotton socks to wear
with her running shoes. The hell with them she thought, I'm going to be
comfortable. She pulled on her jeans and noted that they seemed a little
tighter than usual, her hips seemed to be larger. Her waist was smaller
too, her curves were coming in with a vengeance, they might not like the
new me, but I sure do and that's the most important thing she thought.
She pulled her blouse down over her head and tucked it in, it was
sleeveless and had a scooped neck and fit her perfectly, she looked good.
Brenda brushed her hair and touched up her lipstick, they might not like
me but I do.
"Brenda, are you ready?" Natalie asked.
"I'll be right there."
Brenda put her things in a more casual purse and joined the others for
the ride to the hospital.
"You look nice Brenda," Natalie said.
"Thanks mom."
"I like what you did with your nails, did it take long to do?" Natalie
asked.
"Not too long, why do you ask?"
"Girls ask that sort of thing, you'll learn," she said.
The hospital was only five minutes away from their home and they pulled
into the parking lot. Natalie walked with Mel and Brenda walked with
Mark.
"You know sis, you're really pretty, how do you handle guys hitting on
you?" Mark asked.
"I just ignore them, that way they think I'm a bitch and leave me alone."
"I have to admire you. What you've done takes more guts than I have,
you're a real man for doing this."
"Don't you mean I'm a real girl for doing this?" Brenda giggled.
"I guess you are."
The foursome entered the elevator and were soon on the third floor.
The nurse recognized Natalie and the boys but Brenda was a new face for
her.
"Hi Natalie, Herman is doing a little better, who's this?" she asked.
"Hannah, this is my daughter Brenda, she just flew in from the east
coast."
"Hi Brenda, it's a pleasure to meet you," Hannah said as she extended her
hand.
"It's nice to meet you too Hannah," Brenda replied as she took Hannah's
hand in hers.
Brenda followed Natalie to her father's room. They entered and Brenda
looked at the man in the bed. There were tubes going everywhere and
several monitors above the bed.
"Herm, it's me Natalie, I'm here with Brenda, please wake up," Natalie
said as tears filled her eyes.
"Daddy, it's me Brenda, I've missed you," Brenda said.
Brenda wanted to say more but took his hand instead and held it. She
looked at his hand in hers, his was so large and hers was so small and
feminine looking by comparison. Her red nails looked nice against his tan
skin, she wondered what he would say if he was awake, would he love her
or reject her, she could only wonder.
Emely
- 16.09.2020
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