I Have Vowed free porn video

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I have vowed to never again look at what I type. I must stare, instead, at my own knees, at the folly of hair that hatefully covers them like a blanket from Hell. Maybe if I don't see what shit I write, it'll be better for me. I've been born with the desire to write, but with no talent, or staying power to finish what I've started. I doubt I will write this for more than a page. I am trapped within my own skin, forced to grope breasts of other people, the lucky people, the girl-people, that I wish were mine, instead having to settle for a penis. But I don't think that that's what I'm meant to write about. I have dreams, you know? I have dreams where noses with wings take care of rose orchards where the juice of the sweet, succulent roses turns boys into girls, when I can be me for the rest of my life, all thanks to a feathery nose. I have dreams where surrealism is so obvious that that word no longer has a name. Where my own hair leaps from my knees, the Hellish blizzard of stubble dissipates from my chin at last, allowing sculpted smoothness to be, not smoothless. It actually is easier for me to write when I can?t see how stupid it looks. I am a girl. With a penis. I?m a six foot tall girl with a penis and no breasts where there should be breasts, DAMN I want breasts. I?d feel normal, you know? All those catty girls I read about in the "MOST EMBARASSING" sections of magazines and their stupid petty stories. 'Oh no my crush saw my thong' 'Oh no, my crush heard me burp.' Well, try 'Oh no, my crush saw my seven inch erection.' But you don't have to deal with that. Being a girl sucks. But, to be a girl who doesn't even have the fucking privilege of being a girl? Well, that's worse, wouldn't you say? My crush that saw the erection? Simon. In my dreams, Simon says 'Shag me' and I shag him cause I have to, but this isn't a game, it?s real and it?s lust. But of course, in my dreams, I don't have the penis. I have breasts that beckon Simon like the straight guy he is, earrings be damned. I've done shit with gay guys before, but it feels blurry and vague and not right. The fact that my tough looks have me being the top. I want to be entered; I want to be the landlord, not the tenant. I want to have breasts and a vagina and the lips and long pretty conditioned hair. I'm not going to be a dyky girl, not even given my origins. I'm going to be pretty, you little fucks, you hear that? One day, I will be pretty. But, I'm too tall to sex change. I'll look like some guy playing dress up. They'll see that masculine curve to my nose, I hate it I hate it I hate it! Damn them, they'll hear my voice so low it sounds like it could crack pottery and vases filled with pretty flowers, pretty like I should have been. I sound drunk now if I try to talk. My holy grail, you know. Being a girl. God, I want it. Just the idea of having a girl be me. Having breasts and a vagina at my disposal. God, I want it. But why am I asking God? Our so-called 'perfect creator' has mixed up an order in this one-star restaurant of life, but I can?t get a sendback. Only human ingenuity can reverse the curse god has given me. Being a male is power and strength and no weakness and I HATE IT! Understand that, I HATE IT. I wish I could call up my own Frankenstein lightning storm to show how much I hate it, to accentuate my hatred that glows inside of my like some gut red talisman for Hell lighting me up like every candle I could never smell. I have dreams... And in these dreams, I don't need to face my anger, or the waking world, and I can just be small and me and alone. PLEASE REVIEW. Did I sound like a transsexual person? I am actually female, so writing this was probably the hardest thing I've done. But when I did, I found it unnaturally easy to assimilate myself into her and lose myself in her angry despair. She was, in otherwards, my first very effective Mask. I still lapse into her now and then. Should I write more about this Mask? Is there more to write? Does my writing suck? (Actually, I know the answer to this one)

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