Letters from Sky Part 16 and Epilogue
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Letters From Sky - Part 15 free porn video
" 'To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,--
One clover, and a bee,
And revery.
The revery alone will do
If bees are few.' "
Letters from Sky
By Jan S
Part 15
© 2008
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>>Saturday, May 24th (morning)
Hi, Mars!
What you said is a lot like she was lots last fall too, Mar. Sometimes
she would just sort of stay in her room or not really say much for a long
time. Then she would stop and be real mad, but sometimes she would just
go right back to regular. Is she just being real bossy a lot? If you do
what she says, or just say you are, she's better.
Anyway, I did get Daddy to talk some about Granpaw and the money, but you
know I don't really understand it, and you should just ask him. But
Granpaw did have a lot. He bought an old farm no one wanted a long time
ago and made money selling it later, like he told me once. And Daddy says
he just kept doing that over and over for about forty years and some and,
by the time it was a lot, he was old already, and he had that old house
he liked with his vegetable garden, and he didn't want more, so he never
used the money, and it just got bigger. Sort of like Ms Y., I guess, but
Daddy says it's not nearly that much, but could be enough to put his
grandkids through medical school, if Michael doesn't become a
philosopher, and we don't decide we're rich. That's the way he said it.
And Granpaw put it in three parts, one is divided for us, and one part is
hers, and one part is this life thing for her, but she can't use it, only
what it makes or something. Don't go into it, OK? So, anyway, she has
been taking money form our parts, and Daddy learned about it when the
lawyer sent him tax papers because he is my guardian. And she didn't even
tell the courts about it, and that could get her put in jail even.
So, OK. That's all I really know. Talk to Daddy, OK?
Love ya lots and lots of hugs,
Sky
P.S.: I didn't even tell you about my new swim suits yet, but I thought
that would just seem so silly with the other stuff, so I won't 'til you
ask.
Are you scared about it, Marsh?
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Saturday, May 24th (late morning)
Hi, Lisa,
NOOOO! Don't tell your Mom it's a date! Geez, Lis!
It's not really anyway, just say it is going to a movie but there will be
boys there is all. I mean everyone is paying, right? So that isn't a
date, OK?
I think Amanda could come, I guess. I don't know that many boys around
here though; do you know someone she could meet up with? Or I could ask
Zack.
OH. I just remembered. You'll never check your mail when you aren't told
something is coming. So what am I typing this for? I'll have to call you
anyway.
Bye
Smiles,
Sky
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Saturday, May 24th, (early afternoon)
Hey, Mike
How you been? It's been a while since you've written and all. I wish you
could come out here for a bit, especially if you don't want to go to her
house and all. Why not?
Also, maybe you should call Daddy and talk to him about some things to do
with grandpaw's money, OK?
Bye,
Loves, Sky
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Saturday, May 24th (early afternoon)
Hi, Zack,
My parental said it would be all right, but he's going to drop me off and
pick me up.
Do you think it would be OK if my friends, Lisa and Amanda, came along
too? I told them it was a big group thing.
Do you think that Jeff might like Lisa? Will there be someone there for
Amanda to be with too?
I tried to call but only got the machine, so I hope you get this in time.
I'm going to go ride my bike for a while, but I've got a cell. It's ---/-
---. Call me when you get home, 'K? (And you can email me now too again,
btw.)
Smiles,
Sky
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Saturday, May 24th (night)
Hi, Marsh!!
Oh boy! You want to hear all about my new suits!! :-)
But I should tell you this while I still remember it: Zack held my hand
almost the whole time during the movie tonight. Well, OK, I had to kind
of grab it and make him, but he kept putting it on the arm thingy and
then moving it back so I had to do something, right?
And, of course Lisa and those guys started giggling about it. And at the
end he put his arm on my shoulders, right in front of them. And the movie
was pretty good too. But I thought he was being really nice the whole
night, and he was really, really trying hard to too. So maybe I was
right, huh? Maybe I did tame him after all, like you said doesn't work.
:-P
OK, the suits: One, the one I wore yesterday, is royal blue, and has
yellow on all the edges. And it's a one piece, they all are, but it has
holes in the sides, three on each side, and then there is like just a
little almost string connector between each hole, including at the
bottom, so the whole of my side almost shows. And it also has a hole
where my bellybutton is too (and I really need to get it pierced just for
that suit!!) And it has a built in bra and the lining makes it look like
I have something there. A little bit anyway.
And there was this really neat suit in the store that had even more
holes. You know like cut outs all over, and all different sizes, but
never in the places that count, and I'd have liked to have gotten that,
but no matter how I moved it around at least three of the holes were
right on top of one of my stomach scars, so I got the one with the cut
outs on the sides instead.
And that might be my favorite, but I had thought my favorite was the one
I'm saving for Monday, when I can actually get in the water. That one is
teal, and it has almost no back at all, but just spaghetti straps across
the top part, and the bottom has thicker straps on the side, but they
don't come up very high on the back, so a bit of my crack shows on top,
but just a little bit, Marsh, and the lining, that I have to have for
things, isn't on the back part, and it shows a lot of my tush on the
sides too; I mean it's no where like a thong, but thin and the connector
parts to the front are about two inches thick anyway, so I don't think it
looks that skimpy at all. And Kaezee said I was right too. Do you think
Daddy will think it's OK?
But the other thing is, see, I always used to think my butt was too big,
and it's not real skinny or anything, but it's not really round like. I
mean on the sides I've got butt dents. Do you know what I mean? Places
where it goes in, instead of being round there. And do you think that is
compleatly a boy thing? Kaezee says it is kinda, but people won't really
notice and skinny girls might have them too, but I've never looked to
see, and don't know. Do you? But anyway I do sort of like it anyway.
OK, and then the last one is neat too because, though it looks like a
kind of old fashion one, you know covers lots, if you look at it real
close you can tell that it is a mesh and you can see through it, except
it has three triangles of lining in those spots, but they are like peach
colored so it fools you anyway. And you're supposed to be able to tan
right through it, but not burn, they said, at least not too fast. And
unless you're real, real close it looks like yellow with big orange
flowers though. But the thing I liked best about it was it came with a
cover up that is bright, bright yellow and a real loose knit and shaped
like a poncho, like triangled but with hidden parts under the sides to
hold it down.
And, you know, Daddy hasn't seen them yet, and I don't think they are
like any that Ms Y. would have wanted me to get, but Kaezee liked them
and all. And you know really, though the one Ms Y. got me covered more
and all, it was made so it would show cracks, both at the front and the
back, so I don't see that it was better. Do you think they're OK, or too
old for me or something? They can't really be because they fit, and even
do up top.
OK. But oh, there is one more thing to tell you. I went for a ride today
and went to look at the real neat house I told you about. And it's been
sold.
I don't know why, but it kind of made me sad that it had. The other house
already has people in it, and I think they must be real old because I
didn't see any bikes or toys or things, just flower pots and outdoor
chairs around.
But I was looking over the fence at the back yard of the one that has the
round tower, and this man yelled at me, but then when he saw how I was
dressed, my puppy dog T and some yellow shorts and the yellow tennies, he
got friendlier, of course. And he told me he was the foreman for the guy
that built them, and that some one on just last Thursday had said they
would buy it, and wanted it ready in a big hurry too. So I guess that
means I'll never get to live in it, and that man said the big iron thing
in the back yard was to keep things out of the pool, and it even has a
hot tub too. Wouldn't it be great to have your own pool, Marsh?
Especially out here. But that man said he was going to have to work on
the holiday to get the fence around it taken down and start putting in
new dirt and grass. But anyway, whatever.
OK, that's all the eleven o'clock news from out here. I'm glad she is
acting better today.
Loves and Hugs!
Sky
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Sunday, May 25 (morning)
Really!!
You're really coming, Mike! Daddy just told me. Is your 'puter broke? You
could have told me, you know.
Daddy says I have to clean out my closet, which is what he's started
calling the extra bedroom. But don't worry; I'll have it done by Tuesday
night. It's worth it.
But, Michael, there is something I need to tell you first, OK?
You see, I dress and wear my hair a lot different from last year now
almost always, and I hope you don't freak when you see it, but I don't
really know how to explain all about it really. So I'll just wait and let
you see. Well it's like sometimes I, actually wear girl's things, Mike.
OK, I said it. So be prepared for a shock, OK? I hope you're not totally
grossed or anything. Please, don't be. I really want to see you a lot. I
really do. And I hope it's OK.
Daddy said he wanted me to stay home because your plane gets in so late,
but I'd really like to go to pick you up with him, but if you would
rather have the shock here we can. If I go to the airport I get out of a
lesson with my Soc. Studies tutor, though. :)
That's not the reason I want to go, you know. It's been so long!!
Write me soon, please, you have to be getting email somewhere, I know.
Hugs and Smiles
Sky
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Sunday, May 25th (morning)
Hi!
Know what?? Michael is coming out here and is going to stay until his
camp job starts next month!! That's great, right? He and Daddy had it all
worked out and he gets here on Tuesday. You can still come too, you know.
We can figure out something. I could move in to the little den place, or
we could share for a while.
But OK, the stuff you asked about.
I just asked Daddy why she would say something like that, and the first
thing he said was to tell you not to talk to her about it. OK? Then he
said that he didn't know why she would say I'd taken her money at all.
But I think I know why.
Daddy said that granpaw changed his will about two years ago, and that's
when he added the life thing and made the trust funds bigger, and that
was near when they had a big fight about me dancing and her hitting me,
remember?
Daddy also said that a lot of her part isn't making as much as it did
because of the markets and things, and that she was probably not nearly
as rich as she had thought she would be, and that part of it was in these
houses that are hard to sell at all right now. So, I guess, she blames
all of that on me for dancing in front of granpaw, or something maybe.
Do you think that might be what she meant, anyway?? Daddy left for the
dialysis center again, but he said he would write you later.
About the other thing you asked, Mars. It is just really hard to talk
about at all, Marsh. Because I don't feel like that any more at all. But
no, the scars aren't from something she did to me. But it wasn't just an
operation, but there was one. I did them, OK?
But I didn't try to kill myself, Marsha. I promise, I promise. I wanted
to live. See. It's all just real, real hard to explain but, see, I felt
dead, and I wanted to feel something, because I couldn't really feel
anything else. So I did that.
And even Daddy and all the shrinks couldn't understand and thought I was
offing myself, but I never was.
OK, so see, it was the night right after the court things, when she was
terminated as my parent, and I had to go in and answer the lawyer's
questions even though I had talked to the judge alone before. And I said
I didn't think she should go to jail, and she had for three days because
of cutting me last fall, but I didn't think it would make anything
better, and I said I was sad that she wouldn't be my mom anymore. And I
guess I was crying, and she yelled out about how I always did that, and I
didn't feel things right for a boy, and how she had always tried to help
me and make me better, so I wouldn't be in danger, but I always did the
wrong things anyway.
And well OK, it's just hard to go into but, Marsha, I think I always
tried to do the things, be the ways, she wanted, but it didn't help, or I
didn't know what it was or something.
And then she got fined and sent outside, and then I asked to leave when
the judge was reading the thing, and she was in the hall, and she saw me,
and she said that she was glad I wasn't hers any more, and that I was
just a thing, a broken thing always.
And I looked at her, and the court police ladies with her made her leave.
And then I didn't want to cry anymore, and I couldn't at all anymore. I
didn't feel bad any more, but that didn't really feel good.
And so, this is how it happened. I was just trying to get a hard spot off
next to my finger nail, and I was just using my pocket knife from my
tackle box because I couldn't find the clippers, or something. And I just
dropped the knife and it hit my stomach with the blade, and I felt that.
And, Marsha, people don't get this, but when you stop feeling that feels
real good to feel something. And I moved the blade along it and made a
scratch, and then, I guess, I put it into it. And I did that four times,
but there was only one that broke open anything on the inside, and I
still have four scars, but one is only a little white mark now.
And I know you don't get that either, and think I'm crazy and all because
of it, but I'm not. I know I'm not, and neither was Jude then either. But
when you never felt like that, and even when you have stopped feeling
like that -- or stop not feeling like that, because it isn't any feeling
-- then it is not understandable. So even to me now, I can't remember how
it was.
But they let me out of the hospital, but it was more like a month, not
what I told you before, because I didn't want to say I'd been in the nut
house for a month after the regular hospital, and when they let me go
they said it wasn't going to last a long time and was because of what she
had said and happened, and then Daddy wanted to take this new job right
after that too.
And that was one of the things the school used to try to keep me out of
regular classes too, because they thought I was depressed still and might
off myself.
But now I don't feel that way. I feel a lot now. And I know I'm not a
thing anymore now. OK? And the scars should maybe be gone in a year or
so, except one that they might have to do something to, and the inside
part is OK now too.
OK
That's really all there is about that all, OK?
Bye, alright?
Loves and Loves and Hugs,
Sky
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>>Sunday, May 25th (afternoon)
Marsh, Listen!!
I got it, Marsha. What's that Greek word? Eureka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen. OK, after writing earlier, I wanted to go for a bike ride just to
get out, and because Daddy has to be doing dialysis center things until
this afternoon.
So, have you ever heard this poem, it's by Emily Dickenson, because I
just looked it up to make sure the words were right:
To make a prairie it takes a clover and one bee,--
One clover, and a bee,
And revery.
The revery alone will do
If bees are few.
And the 'puter says it's spelled wrong, but it's not. Have you heard it?
Daddy told it to me. It was when we were fishing, and I wasn't fishing, I
was just sitting by a tree and looking down the canyon we had come up to
catch trout, and I was thinking about how it looked like a tunnel because
of all the trees on both sides, and about how the little pool at the very
bottom might have been a big huge field, and I was wearing a sun dress
and running in that field. I mean I wasn't, I was wearing some of your
old shorts and a T and sitting by a tree, but I was thinking of wearing a
beautiful, cute dress and running in that field though.
And lots of peeps might have said, "A penny for your thoughts," or
something like that, but Daddy didn't. He handed me this little leaf, and
it was from a tree, and not a clover but sort of like one, and he said
that poem to me, and then he smiled and went back to fishing.
OK, so after that letter and thinking about back in the winter, I went
for a ride, just alone, and I tried to go real, real fast, and the bike
path was crowded because of it being Sunday and tomorrow a holiday, but I
did anyway. And this time I was wearing a dress, a white sun dress with
straps, and it flew up when I rode, but I checked, and I don't think I
could go fast enough to make it high enough to show my panties because it
is pretty long, so that was OK.
And I got to where that house that just got bought is, and the chain
fence is all gone now, and so I sat in its yard. Mostly, it is all dirt,
and hard dirt, but there was one patch that was green, and I sat there,
and was just having a drink from my water bottle, but I looked at that
round part of it and thought of it having an old fashioned window seat
like in some old pictures, where people could seat and read. And that was
what I was daydreaming about, but then I saw a clover next to me, and
just right then a bee came by me, and went around and away, and I
remembered that poem. And then I started thinking about the revery I had
the day Daddy told me the poem, and then I started thinking about
daydreaming.
And so I thought of all the daydreams I used to have and, Marsh, I used
to daydream about being a quarterback and throwing a winning touchdown,
or about being a knight and fighting to save someone, or a soldier even.
And I used to make my self daydream like that because I knew that is what
I was supposed to daydream about. But I also thought about being at a
ball and dancing, or on a stage, or even being in a tower. But Marsh, I
was always a girl. When I stopped controlling the daydream, and when it
became a revery, and I wasn't worried about what I was suppose to dream,
I was always a girl, even if I had been a soldier or knight or football
guy, when I took the helmet off, long hair came down, and I had a nice
smile and pretty eyes!! Always!!
And, this is the thing: that was before I was out here and people let me
pretend to be one or thought I was. This was even back in Bethesda, and
in Boston when I was real little, and before doing all those sports
things she wanted me to always do. You See!!
And, yeah, some people hated Jude. But it was a Jude that was always
having to pretend to be someone else, not the real Jude. A Jude that had
to be tough and rough and lots of things I'm not, all the, all the, all
the time. And I didn't hate Jude. I didn't and some people didn't and saw
the pretend part. But it's not that I want to pretend to be a girl to not
be Jude any more, and that's what Dr. Ross says it might be, but it can't
be because I always was a girl when in revery!! SEE?? Please see.
Because that has to mean I have always been a girl, no matter what, I
have always been, and just tried to do what people, and Her, thought I
should be, and I never could. A very special kinda girl, but a girl; a
real, real, real girl.
So that is it!! That's all. Do you think that is right??? Say, yes,
because it is. I know it.
I got a number to call Dr. Ross in emergencies. Do you think it's OK to
use that for good stuff? Because she's got to understand this is right.
But it's Sunday, and a holiday, and I don't even have an appointment
tomorrow.
Daddy said he'd be back in time, and we could finally go out to dinner
tonight, like we had planed last Thursday. But it's still early. I'm
going to see if we can go somewhere real, real nice!!
I'm going to see if I can get Kaezee on the phone because she isn't on
line. And then I'm going to call that number for Dr Ross, because
emergencies don't have to all be terrible and this is a kind of emergency
too, and I have to tell people that I'm a girl!!
Bye
I wish you were here so we could just dance, Marsh!!
Loves and Hugs and Kisses and Hugs and Kisses and Loves and Kisses and
Hugs and Loves and Kisses and Hugs and Loves from YOUR SISTER!!!!!,
Sky
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