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Becoming Malissa By; Malissa Madison This story contains a lot of truth, though names and places have been changed so as not to upset any of those who were actually there. Momma, you know who you are, I thank you for everything you did for me. Though it didn't quite work out the way we'd hoped. At least you helped me find myself underneath all the layers, and amid the many parts that are me as well. I truly wish that you could have been my Mother, instead of my step. But you will always be Momma to each and every one of us. And I hope that where ever you are you are Safe, Happy, and healthy. She'd felt so out of balance with nature her entire life, inside she knew she was a girl. But she had a Boy's body, and no one would listen to her. Growing up as a very young child she always wanted to be the heroin, not the hero. But it had been made painfully clear to her, numerous times, that she wasn't a girl and such nonsense would not be tolerated. She could pretend at least, when she was too little for things to be noticed. Right up until she hit Puberty. Talk about a cruelty of life, Puberty sucked like nothing else. That's when she began to be aware of the others inside. Like Donnie, created to do all the horrible things that little boys did. Except he wanted to be rid of her, he wanted to push her out of the way to have full and total control of the body and everyone in it. The fighting got so bad that Gwendolyn stepped in to negotiate a peace. But even that didn't stop his violence, or his attempts to shatter Malissa's mental hold. He was given seven years as the body's primary personality. As I sat back and watched he became increasingly violent. Especially after I had my few hours of front time to be myself. He never interfered with my time. I even caught him admiring my looks and thought I was winning. That is until he stepped back out front. I know now that he was afraid of his own feelings, you see he saw how beautiful I was and how natural it came to me, and realized the truth. He thought if he gave in to his own feelings he would be lost forever. Whenever I got a chance to step out front I always indulged my desires for pretty things. Of course I wasn't always as careful as I should be, I'd forget to put things back where they belonged, or borrow something that was still hanging up on hangers. One day he abandoned me out front in Gym class, right there in the showers. He thought that seeing my body naked along with all those boys would drive me out. I realized then just how alone I truly was, those around me took my horror as a sign that I was gay. I did what any other girl would have done. I threw my clothes, Donnie's clothes on and fled. I ran, and didn't stop till I got home. No one else was there yet, I hid in my room and cried. I cried a lot during those early teen years. The mother had taken us to a shrink a couple years earlier, he was so fucking wrong about everything. But if he'd continued treating us he would have found out, he was getting close to discovering it. but then we only had a few sessions with him. We were hyperactive, well Duhh, hello multiple personalities. He just gave us medication and said we hated everything that we loved. Except he got the hating our father part right. Well except for Donnie, he was the only one that wanted to be around him. Anyway, Donnie started being generous, he gave me the days at school as my own personal time out front. So I did what I felt I had to do, I began skipping Gym class at first. But then I started skipping full days. Heck eventually I was skipping entire weeks. What did I do with my time? I spent my days locked in the house dressing up in the oldest sisters clothes. Prancing around the house in her panty's and high heels. Wearing her skirts and dresses and feeling totally relaxed and normal. We didn't know that the oldest sister had become aware of what I was doing. Donnie had some real knock down drag out fights with her. Then as summer rolled around he found his opportunity. As usual I refused to front around him, so Donnie started the seeds of my destruction. He used the introduction of the step father as a means to get the father to take custody of us. And I resigned myself to exile. Only I couldn't stand it, not being outside, or knowing what was going on. The father had gone all out, getting him subscriptions to Playboy, Penthouse, and Genesis. But of course he wasn't the only one looking at the magazines. I would look at them with envy in my heart. I so wanted to look like those models. To feel how they must feel in all that pretty lingerie. I wanted what they had, what I had been deprived of. Donnie was getting pressured to start dating, and he would read those stories and get the most elaborate ideas. But then I would read them and edit his lies so they seemed more realistic. It became an uneasy truce. Especially after we both spotted the same girl. He wanted to fuck her brains out, I wanted to be her girlfriend, and share secrets. I also found I was sexually attracted to her. And all those stories I'd read about in the magazines only fueled that fire even more. Donnie was jealous of me, she liked me. But whenever he came out front I think she could tell and she wouldn't even talk to him. In the mean time I had started raiding the step mothers bottom drawer. That was where she had all of her lacey panty's and sexy lingerie. I had decided to be good and try to attend school only skipping gym if I had to be in the showers with Boys. One morning I was caught wearing the step mothers panty's in bed. She didn't know that I was also wearing them to school on non-gym class days. She said she thought it was flattering that I would use her underwear to masturbate, but to stop raiding her panty drawer, and put them in the wash when I was done. I couldn't believe it, it was like she had just given me permission to wear them whenever I liked. Of course Donnie hated that idea. One day we were skipping classes, headed home following the creek. We ran across Beverly's mother, and started to hide. "Don't bother hiding," she said. "I've been watching you. I know that both of you have a thing for Beverly. But I was hoping to find out more about you." I was stunned and frozen in place, this woman knew about Donnie and I. She told me she felt sorry for me, that in her peoples customs we would have been treated as holy beings. Not persecuted for our feelings. She also said that they were moving away. Her grandfather had passed away and she was having to return to take his place as the spiritual healer of the tribe. She said she would try to talk to the stepmother for me. But she didn't get the chance to, and I so needed someone who knew and could help. Things got pretty bad for a while, Donnie was being his usual mean self, which the father liked and everyone else hated. Deer season was coming up and that meant I would have to hide for over a week. This was the year Donnie would discover we had someone inside far more dangerous than he was. Sure we both lost time, but we had always attributed it to each other. So you can imagine how shocked we were when Gwendolyn pulled us both to the front at the same time to help her. We were in a tree, just off a back road. One the father took every Thursday on his way home from his girlfriend's house. In our hands was the deer rifle we had been practicing with for weeks preparing for the hunting season. We were arguing trying to figure out who it was that was out front and why they were in the tree with the rifle. The girl looked over her shoulder, grinning evilly and said, do you mind? I'm trying to rid our world of the tormentor. None of us could get fully front to stop her completely, not as un- united as we were. But Gwendolyn tried. "Candice, I know you were created to destroy him. But you have to think. This is not the place or time. If you do this you will destroy us all, do you want that." We could see through the scope. The powder blue 1966 Barracuda speeding down the road. "I don't Fucking care. You can't stop me this time. Everyone else is locked away and these two can't cooperate long enough to let you interfere." I could feel the pressure building on the trigger. If she killed him, they would trace the bullet. "They won't suspect us." "Yes they will." "No they won't." "He gets shot, and we return home with a high powered rifle, do the math." "Fuck the math, I hate that subject anyway." She hesitated just long enough, and that gave Gwendolyn the edge. She reached in and tipped the barrel up just enough. The shot hit the roof instead of the window. Pieces of the bullet grazed his face but the only real damage was to the car. Donnie and I started to piece things together on our way home. We had to hurry. No one could see us returning with the rifle. That night Gwendolyn allowed us limited access to the Archives. We found out the grinding wheel explosion when we were seven was Candi's work. She'd cracked it with a Ball Peen hammer. And there was the near electrocution, but the fuse blew too soon. The buck shot in the back of his head. And the most interesting thing of all, he had taught her about every bit of it. his own personal assassin was his most studious pupil. But Gwendolyn would not allow it, she knew it wouldn't be hard to figure out, and that we couldn't survive the aftermath. The step mother was beginning to see things about us though. I never let myself be seen as myself. She thought I was a nicer version of Donnie. It was the summer of our fifteenth birthday when Donnie actually got his first girlfriend. Also when he had actual sex for the first time. I discovered that I really liked girls, after all I made out with her so often. But it was always Donnie who did the actual intercourse. He really sucked at it, he was always in too much of a hurry to let me get her in the right mood. One rainy day we met Erika, she just knocked on my door and said follow me you need to see this. When I saw Donnie waiting I thought it was Candi out again. She lead us to a barn where we watched as Donnie's Girlfriend had sex with the father. Heard her complaining about having to fuck Donnie so no one would think they were involved. Of course Donnie dumped her without giving her any reason. And after being separated for over a month she turned up at the door claiming to be pregnant. We knew who's it was. But he sent her away. The next week on the first day of school Donnie got a real shocker. They called it the FFA initiation. Donnie saw it as a nightmare, but the father had wanted him in FFA. According to the note, the applicants would have the first week to prepare. And the initiation would be the second week of school. All boys were to attend school dressed as girls for the second week. All girls would dress as boys. The father ranted and raved about it then went out for a while. When he returned for dinner he stated that Donnie was going to do it, no if's, and's, or buts. Then he told the step mother it was her job to be sure he was ready, and he didn't care what it took, Donnie was at her mercy. He then promptly left for a two week fishing trip. That was the night we began to call her Momma, though she started out with Humiliation and revenge in her heart toward Donnie. She dragged him into the bathroom and told him to strip and get in the tub, which she had filled with lilac scented bath beads. She took away all of his clothes and told him to shave his legs, he was freaking out by this time. But knew if he refused to do anything she told him to it would be ten times worse when the father got home. He let me out to shave our legs, something I did much better and faster than he could have. As I was finishing up she brought in a towel and a pair of hot pink lacey panty's. "Put these on when you're done and come to my room. And hurry up I don't have all night," she told me. Sliding the pretty panties up my legs into place gave me a chill, not the same as the thrill I got from being myself. This was like a mix of joy and doom rolled together. Donnie was in hiding, he wouldn't be back out until our body was free of all things girly. I wrapped the towel around me and hurried through the kitchen and living room. She was there waiting for me as I stepped into her room shutting the door behind me. "Well Missy that was quicker than I thought," she reached out and took away the towel. "Let me see how well you did on your legs, turn around for me." I bit back my response and turned slowly all the way around. "Well it looks like I might be able to teach you after all. And I think we're in luck, those panty's fit perfectly. But you need to tuck that," she gestured to my body's penis, "Into the crotch." Then sat and watched as I did so adjusting things so they didn't show as much. "Here you go Missy put this on, and we'll find you a pretty skirt." She handed me the matching lace bra that went with the panty's. she watched with amusement at how practiced I was at hooking it behind me but said nothing. Ten minutes later I was dressed in a beautiful frilly denim skirt and low cut blouse, with a pair of strappy heels. She added one of her old blonde wigs. Then lead me by the hand out to the full length mirror. As I stood staring at myself I couldn't see Donnie anywhere, but I saw her smiling over my shoulder. "Oh my, what a pretty little Missy you are," She exclaimed. And I burst out crying. "What's the matter you don't want to be my pretty little Missy?" "I, I'm not Missy, my name is Malissa," I blubbered through the tears. "Missy's not here, and you can be as mean to me as you want, but I won't let her out. And I won't let any of the others out either." The step brother had been making sarcastic demeaning remarks, and now she turned and glared at him until he shut up and left the room. Slowly she turned me around, her fingers lifting my chin till she was staring into my eyes. After who knows how long she asked, "So your name is Malissa, how long have you been aware of the others?" I told her that I had been aware of Donnie for years but the others had just been showing up for the last couple of years. Then I asked if she was going to tell the father about me. She thought about that for a long time, then said. "No Malissa, I won't tell him. He wouldn't understand, and he'd probably kill you if he found out." She sat down on the couch, "I'm so sorry I had no idea. I mean I should have figured it out though everything was right there in front of me." I sat down next to her leaning over to hug her, "Momma, I'm sorry for all the mean things Donnie and the others have done. I'm sorry Candi shot the hole in the roof of your car." "What, what did you say?" "Candi shot your car." "No not that, about the others being mean." "Not all of them are mean, Dina loves you, you're the only Momma she's ever known. And I never had a Momma either. I want you to be my Momma. I want you to teach me the things Momma's are supposed to teach little girls." She hugged me tighter, a tear in her eye. "Malissa, I've always wanted a Daughter. Of course I'll be your Momma." "Will you teach me how to put on makeup, and how to do my hair?" She smiled, "Yes and how to clean house, and shop, and take care of your Baby Brother." I smiled at her crying happily. Then she said, "Go wash your face and I'll get my Avon Bag." When I stood up she gently patted my butt, "Hurry we have years of teaching to catch upon." When the sink cut off, she yelled, "Bring the cold cream we're going to need it." We sat at the kitchen table side by side sharing her makeup mirror. "I could put it on for you this first time Honey to show you how, but you'll learn faster if you do it yourself. You don't need a lot, just a bit of eye shadow and mascara to start with." The step brother walked through the kitchen giggling, and she glared at him. "Go watch TV, and keep it down please." She let me pick my own eye shadow, and handed me a tube of mascara and an eyeliner pencil. The first time it took me twenty minutes to get it right, and I poked myself in the eye several times with the mascara brush. "Go look in the full length mirror, you're absolutely gorgeous Malissa. You're going to have to beat the boys off with a stick." As I walked past the fan, the cool air wafted up under the short skirt, giving me goose bumps. And I loved the feeling of its caress over my bare legs. When I looked into the mirror I was captivated by the creature staring back at me. I didn't even notice her standing behind me until she spoke and touched me. "See, I told you so," she began. "When did you stuff your bra? We don't have much toilet paper. Come in my room and I'll get you something better to,,," she stopped seeing the confused look in my eyes. Her hand gently cupped my small breasts from behind and she got a strange look in her eyes. "These weren't here when we started," she reached forward and opened the door to her room. I took off the blouse so she could see that they were indeed real. "I don't understand it, how did those grow so fast?" I felt myself becoming distant slipping into the background. "I did that," I heard someone else saying. "I do this whenever we wear the clothes we should be wearing, do they look natural?" "Yes, yes they do. But who are you? You're not Malissa." I felt the body blush as we said, "I'm Erika with a K not a C. you really think we're pretty?" "Yes I do Erika. I just don't understand how this is possible." "I'm not sure either, I just think them and they grow. You're not mad at me are you?" "Oh no Sweetie, I'm not mad. I'm just a lot confused by all of this. How old are you by the way?" I giggled and heard Erika and someone else inside giggling. "Fifteen And Bernice is fourteen. But don't ask how old Gwendolyn is, she won't give you a straight answer." "Who are Gwendolyn and Bernice?" "Bernice 14 is very complicated, and Gwendolyn is our gate keeper. I don't know about the others though. And I'm sure you've met Donnie and Candi." "Donnie yes. Candy no, who is she?" "You don't want to meet her. She makes Donnie look like a choirboy. She's locked up in the Darks right now because of her latest attempt." "You mean when she shot through the roof of the car?" "No not that one. I mean the... Umm, sorry I'm not allowed to say, but this one cost her a year in lock down." "So it wasn't really an accident. Damn that girls got guts, I think I'll recognize her if I meet her again." We talked as I finished the dishes and then redid my makeup again. She was interested in all of us, and of course Gwendolyn fascinated her the most. Suddenly I felt strange, like I was drifting away. "Momma? Do you have any tea?" The sound of my voice told her something was happening. "Yes, we have iced tea, or tea bags." The trill song language of Gwendolyn rang through the air between us. Suddenly I was behind her listening to her musical voice, but Momma couldn't understand her. Once again I was pulled to the front, I felt myself blending with Gwendolyn's mind. "I am most sorry for having to use Malissa this way. But I do not have time to learn your language. Please if you would be so kind, I should like a bit of your Hazel nut tea while we talk." As momma hurried to start the water for the tea she said, "I know you're not Malissa or any of the others I've already met. Would it be rude of me to ask with whom I'm speaking?" "You certainly may my Dear. Don't let the water boil, do you have any honey?" "Y, yes," Momma reached into the cabinet and took out a bottle of refined honey. I watched as we got up and reached into the cabinet and took out a Mason jar of pure Comb Honey. Gwendolyn dipped her fingers in and broke off a small nugget size piece of comb filled with honey. Then dropped it into a delicate bone china cup. I realized it was one of Momma's dragon cups. She only had two and never let anyone touch them. She took down the second cup and did the same. Then took two of Momma's three last tea bags and tore them open to pour over the honey in the bottom of the cups. "Now child, pour the water before it boils." I grimaced at the sound of the words. She had just called Momma Child. But Momma seemed mesmerized by her now, as she poured water into the cups. My finger felt hot as Gwendolyn gently stirred the tea, slowly blending the ingredients. Without warning Momma produced two spoons, "Wouldn't you rather use a spoon?" "No Dear, I'm allergic to anything with iron." Momma smiled hugely at that, as if she had just discovered something very important. A moment later she produced two Silver spoons from out of nowhere. "Thank you dear. As you may have guessed by now, I am the Lady Gwendolyn Penn Oak. The first Anomaly, but not the last." "I thought you never talked with outsiders." "There are exceptions to every rule in life Dear. I see in you as well as in Malissa the potential for great good. Or to do great harm. Malissa and the others call you Momma. I hope you understand what that means." "Yes I do understand. They really need someone who is understanding, and patient." "As well as compassionate and forgiving." "I won't do anything that would cause them harm. But I do need to know as much as possible if I am to help them stay safe." Gwendolyn reached over and touched a small scar on her upper arm. "All I ask is that you love them each on your own terms. You also have two others that you have to balance your life with, don't forget them along the way." Gwendolyn finished her tea and said, "We'll talk more later when there are more trees around. But now I need to go see to the little ones." And just like that she was gone, and I found myself out front again. Momma looked deep into my eyes as if trying to figure out who was out front. "So that was the Lady Gwendolyn. She seems very wise and much older than any of the rest." "She is, I'm not sure how but inside she lives inside a huge tree." Momma considered that for a moment, then looked at the clock. "You better go wash your face, and start getting ready for bed it's getting late." I hugged her tightly before heading to the bathroom, where I washed off all the makeup. When I got back to the living room she said, "You'll find a nightie in the bottom right drawer." In the bottom drawer I found teddies' and baby dolls in various colors. I chose a pink baby doll and changed into it, then headed toward my room. "Oh no Malissa, teenage girls don't sleep in the same room as their little brothers. It isn't proper, you can sleep in my room." Around midnight she asked what was wrong that I couldn't sleep. "I'm scared Momma, what if I wake up and this was only a cruel dream?" She cuddled and rocked me in her arms until I fell asleep. I dreamed of being a real girl and making my Momma proud of me. I woke up before she did in the morning, I lay there for a long time looking at her sleeping with a contented smile. I couldn't remember ever seeing her smile like that before. She was so beautiful, so peaceful. I touched the light scar that Gwendolyn had touched. There was something about it that was important but I didn't know what it was. I was sure Gwendolyn knew, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I heard the baby brother stirring and carefully crawled out of bed. I rushed to the bathroom then back to change him into a clean Diaper. When I was done I carried him to the kitchen holding him while I got his bottle ready. "You do that like you've done it before," Momma said on her way through to the bathroom. "I'll take over in a minute, you'll want to practice your makeup again before school." "Yes Momma," I replied. At least I don't have any homework yet. I handed the baby brother to her, then hurried off to her room to change. She'd told me the night before that the bottom drawer and the far right side of the closet were mine. So I picked out a pretty flowered long skirt and a long sleeved blouse, and donned the strappy heels from the night before. As I sat down in front of the makeup mirror she said gently, "You know you can't wear that to school today." I pouted and answered, "I know but it's so much easier to do my face if the rest of me looks right too." The step brother got up and like usual peed all over the toilet seat before fixing himself a bowl of cereal and sitting in front of the TV to watch cartoons. This morning I'd chosen different shades to match the skirt and blouse. And Momma hugged me showing her approval. Then patted me on the butt and said, "Go put on your jeans and shirt. I don't want you to be late for school." I'd taken off the skirt and heels and slipped on my jeans, a pair of socks and western boots. Then as I took off the blouse I felt Momma behind me and turned around. She caught her breath and said, "Damn I think they're even bigger today." She continued to stand there as I took off the bra, and added, "I think we are going to have to find a way to hide those if they keep growing." I found a very tight T-shirt and put it on then my regular long sleeve shirt. It hid my budding breasts pretty well. She hadn't said anything about my panty's so I was so happy all day at school feeling more human and natural. At the end of the day I grabbed my books and rushed home, running almost the entire way. When I got there she was standing on the steps waiting. She smiled when she saw how happy I was. I guess Donnie really did hate school that much. I hugged her on my way through, "Why are you in such a hurry tonight. Did you and Donnie come to a understanding?" I giggled, "You might say that. he won't show his face while I'm wearing Panty's." I giggled again and hurried to her room to change. As I transformed fully into myself I overheard her telling the step brother that he didn't need to hurry because he didn't have to go with us to do chores out at the farm. He liked that idea, more time for him to watch TV. I did my makeup while she fixed a quick dinner. Then she grabbed her purse and said, "Bring your baby brother, we might as well get started." When we got to the Pinto though she took him from me and had me practice getting into the seat while wearing my short skirt. "I won't have my Daughter getting in and out of a car flashing the world like a tramp. This is important." I almost cried, she'd just declared me her Daughter She made it look so easy, it took me several tries, and she told me to practice it and do it that way all the time no matter what mode I was in and soon it would be natural. At the farm she helped me hurry and do the chores. When they were done she had me check my makeup then said. "I was given two hundred dollars to buy you anything you needed for this upcoming week. And I'm going to take you out shopping tonight. We need to find you a purse and some new clothes of your own, especially a dress. All my old ones are a bit outdated." "I'm not ready Momma. Someone will see me." "Malissa, I'm not giving you a choice, no one will recognize you. And if we run into anyone you know, I'll tell them you are Donnie's Sister visiting for the week before your own school starts. Now get that cute little butt in the car." "Yes Ma'am." I didn't want to argue, and I really did want to go shopping with my Momma. "Now two hundred dollars isn't much, so we're going to Wal-Mart. So start thinking about what you would like to have of your own, and we'll go from there." The closer we got to the store the more I relaxed. It was far enough away from our town that surely there wouldn't be anyone we knew there on a school night. I carried my baby brother on my hip as we walked into the store. Then as I started to slouch over the cart she said, "Young Ladies do not slouch over shopping carts like cheap sluts advertising. Everyone can see your panty's in that skirt when you do that." Of course I blushed and straightened up, as we neared the girls wear section. I picked out two new bra and panty sets. Then as we were looking at skirts someone spoke to Momma. When I turned around it was the mother of one of Donnie's best friends. "Now who's this pretty young lady you have with you? She looks familiar." "Bernadine, this is Malissa, Donnie's sister. Malissa, this is Bernadine. She's only here until school starts up at home next week." "Well it's nice to meet you, are you two here looking for things for Donnie to wear to the initiation next week?" "That and finding Malissa some new school clothes. Her mother never was one to buy her anything special and pretty." "Darren, get out from behind that rack, and find something that might fit you." She turned back to us, "Boy's. both his older brothers went through the same thing. But nothing they wore will fit him, so we have to buy something new." "Hi, I'm Darren." He was all red faced. "You're as bad as Donnie," Momma said. "He was too embarrassed to even come this far. But we figured he's about Malissa's size so we'll let her pick him out something." I relaxed and giggled. "I'm going to pick out the most girly thing I can find." "How about this," Darren held up a short skirt with lots of ruffled lace. It was the same one I'd been looking at. "Hell no, I was looking at that for me, but that would look better on you though." I rifled through the rack and found one in my size and slipped into the fitting room. The whole time we were shopping Darren kept hitting on me. Finally Momma excused us saying we needed to hit the personal section to get things for my time of the month. That caused him to back off. We skimmed through that section then back around to the purses. She helped me pick out one that I thought was too big. But she said I was going to need to carry my own makeup and stuff and would need the room. "You'll be carrying it every day to school. You only carry one of those little things if it's just a quick outing." We ended up in line across from them and he asked me out three times. When he caught up to us in the parking lot and wanted me to agree to go out on Saturday I had to say, "No I'm sorry Darren. You're sweet, and cute. But you're my brothers best friend. He'd kill you if you even kissed me." "You mean like this," and before I knew it his tongue was halfway down my throat. I heard Momma and his mother gasping. Then someone said, "Is that the first time anyone kissed you like that?" He had my lip gloss smeared all over his face. "You ass, now I have to fix my makeup. It's no wonder you can't get a date." But he was so absorbed with himself he didn't hear it. Just before they drove off his mother said, "Damn is he in for a surprise." Then she winked at me, "It was fun meeting you Malissa. I hope I get to see you again sometime." On the way home Momma asked, "Was that your first kiss?" "Yes, but I don't think I did it right. I was too shocked, and then it was over." "Well he was flirting with you the whole time in the store." "Yeah, that's what Bernice kept saying. Flirt back, giggle and blush. Hold his hand. He wants in your panty's so bad can't you feel it?" "So Bernice picked up on his intentions pretty good then." "Oh my god, you mean he really thought I was a girl, and wanted to you know have sex?" "Well, yeah. You didn't realize that?" "Well not until he slammed his tongue down my throat. You really think I'm pretty?" "Well here's a news flash for you Malissa. You are a real girl. You just happen to have the wrong body. But you can do some truly amazing things with it. take that kiss for instance, now that was one hell of a kiss you gave him back, you just have to be careful. Ok?" "See, I told you I don't know anything important like that." "Honey, that was a kiss he'll remember the rest of his life. Not many people can pull off a three minute kiss without breathing." "Th, three minutes? It was just a quick kiss it couldn't have been more than five seconds." "Are you kidding? I thought we were going to have to hose you down to break you two apart." She'd slowed way down as she looked at me, "You don't remember me taking the bags from you and loading them into the car do you?" "No, oh crap I, I don't remember that." I started to freak out, Someone else was out front. I felt myself drifting off into the distance, and tried to hold on. Then I was in the background watching myself. "So I really did do that kiss right then?" I heard the giggle, "She didn't even know I was out front." Momma pulled all the way off the road and stopped. "Alright young lady, which one are you?" "I'm Bernice fourteen," I heard her giggle. "I hope you realize you just complicated things for Malissa instead of helping her. That was Donnie's best friend, and now he's going to be chasing after Malissa thinking she's you. He doesn't know about the rest of you. He thinks Malissa is Donnie's Sister, and a totally separate person. as in separate Bodies." "It's not my fault she is so na?ve she couldn't figure out what he wanted. I had to come out and give it to him. I'll probably be the one that has to put out just like always. But hey I don't mind, I like sex, sex is fun. Even if it gets rough and hurts some times. That's my job, why I was created." "Look we only have a few more minutes until we get home. And then you and I are going to have ourselves a long talk. So you better not disappear." Bernice sat fidgeting in the seat the rest of the way home. Then helped carry in the shopping bags. The step brother had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV, and Momma put the baby brother to bed in his crib. Then pointed to her room. "In there now, and wait for me." When Momma finally came in Bernice was sprawled across the bed waiting. "Sit up, I'm not talking to you like that." Bernice pouted, "Are you really mad at me?" "I should be, you should be spanked for that kind of behavior." Bernice responded by rolling over onto her knees and flipping up her skirt. "Go ahead, I'm used to being spanked, everyone likes to spank me first anyway. Well mostly." I felt Momma's hand smack our ass hard. "Sit down, and stop acting like a Slut. This isn't the kind of talk you think it is." She rubbed her bottom where I knew there had to be a hand print under our panty's, and sat down fighting back tears of rejection. I felt her start to pull back inside. "Oh no you don't Bernice. You are going to stay right here and we are going to talk about tonight and other things that I need to know to help keep you all safe. That's what Momma's do." She pulled her into her arms, cuddling her. "Bernice, Honey. I'm not really mad at you. I think I understand what's happening. But I need to know as much as I can to help you." Bernice sniffled choking back her tears. "I never get to come out front and just be me unless someone is in trouble, and the only way out is to have sex. That's my purpose and no one cares about me. I've been stuck in the back waiting." "Then why did you come out front when Darren kissed Malissa?" "She wasn't ready for it. she was panicking and I was triggered out. And now I'm all frustrated because, because that's all it was. Just a stupid kiss, I wanted to be wanted for myself just once." Momma put her fingers under our chin and lifted our face to look into her eyes. "Bernice, I promise you. If you can behave and act like a proper young lady I will do everything I can to help you. I love every one of you, and I just want all of you to be safe." "But they won't let me out unless they get in trouble." She started crying again. "Bernice, if you stay inside and let Malissa get through the rest of this week without any incidents I'll take you out to a place where you can come out front and be safe. I'll be there to help keep you safe, I promise. And I won't stop you from having fun unless I think you're going to get hurt. Deal?" "Ok Deal, but they won't let me out." "I think I know who to talk to. And I think she'll listen to me. Just trust me ok?" Bernice hugged her hard burying her face in momma's breasts. "You really want to be our Momma don't you?" "Yes more than anything in the world." "Do, do I have to go back inside now?" "No you can stay out, but you will need to let Malissa come back out in the morning to go to school." They talked for a while, and the subject turned to sex as it always did with Bernice. "Donnie say's I'm a freak because I like girls as much as boys. But I haven't found any girls that like other girls around here. And he gets too jealous if I come out when he's with a girl. He really isn't as good as he thinks he is." Bernice giggled, "I have to sneak out and help him without him knowing it." "You what?" "I guide him to do all the things they like that make them happy. And of course he takes all the credit, just like an Alpha. They don't realize it's the Beta's that are trained to please." "So you are a Beta? And Donnie is an Alpha? That's why you are all having so much trouble coping. Alpha's and Beta's in the same multiple system." Well, that and an Echo, and Delta on top of the rest. But mostly the others are either Alpha's or Anomalies." "You're the second person to mention Anomalies." "Yeah un-programmed personalities, like Malissa and Gwendolyn, and Dina. And there are actually more that I haven't met." "Dina? You mean Dina is a real personality? I had no idea." Bernice giggled, "You're her Momma. You helped create her, she didn't exist until a year ago. But of course she's a little old for a baby, but she doesn't care." "What do you mean, a little old for a Baby?" "She's only four. But to her she's still a baby, and wants her Mommy, because her Mommy loves her and always puts a clean dry diaper on her so she doesn't get the bed wet." "My god I didn't know," Momma said. Bernice got up off the bed and opened the other bottom dresser drawer. "I think I'll give you two some time together tonight. Besides, I'm going to get my own quality time this weekend, right?" "Yes I promise you. We will both go out and have fun together this weekend." Bernice carefully laid out the things she knew were for Dina. Then took out the pair of pink, ruffle covered plastic pants that Dina had always hoped Momma would put on her instead of the clear ones. I woke up the next morning to hear Momma on the phone. "Yes, this weekend. I thought since you were still at the cabin you would want to take both of them for the weekend before you head back up to Kansas City." "Thank you, he'll be glad to get away for a while." As I rolled over I realized I was wearing a Diaper and the ruffled Plastic panty's. I also realized the diaper was soaked. I cringed a moment then remembered we weren't wearing the diaper because we were in trouble again. "How's Momma's Baby girl this morning?" She said from the doorway. She took hold of my hand to help me out of the bed and I felt Dina slipping out again. "Come on, Momma's going to get that wet diaper off of you." She lead her into the living room and we lay down on the blanket on the floor. She put a pink bottle of warm milk in our mouth and Dina held it, sucking greedily at it as Momma carefully pulled down the pretty plastic panty's. Usually she took them all the way off in the mornings. But this morning she pulled them down around our ankles. "My, now that's one wet Diaper." She carefully unpinned it, and Dina lifted her bottom as momma pulled it out from under her. When Dina started to get up Momma said, "Now you lay there Dina, Momma's going to go get you a dry diaper." I realized that unlike before, the body wasn't wearing underwear under the diaper. I was curious to see what was going to happen. The step brother walked in and sat down at the kitchen table, then started taunting us. "Unless you want to spend your day in diapers too you better eat and get ready for school," she told him as she returned with a stack of freshly folded diapers. I realized I was wearing a pink Baby Doll nightie top and inside I smiled. Momma sat the stack on the changing table then put one on the floor next to Dina. The safety pins were stuck in the sofa cushion beside us. She got a warm wet wash cloth and a dry one, and picked up the powder before sitting back down in the floor next to us. Carefully she washed us clean, then dried us off. She spread out the clean diaper between our legs, and sprinkled powder onto it. Next she grabbed it at the corners and Dina raised her butt while she slipped it under her. Momma then sprinkled some powder over us and used the dry cloth to rub it in while Dina lay there with her knees spread out wide on the floor, nursing on the baby bottle. Then gently she tucked the body's penis into the crotch of the diaper as she pulled the front up and then pinned it in place with the pink Elephant Diaper pins that Dina loved. Dina raised up again as she pulled the ruffle covered plastic panty's up. Then rolled over so Momma could be sure the diaper was fully covered, before she started changing the Baby brother into a clean diaper. She left the room to get him a clean outfit, and the step brother came over. "Awe, is the little baby going to cry?" Then he pulled the plastic pants back and poured a cup of cold liquid in the front, "looks like someone peed there diaper again." Then ran out the front door before she came back into the room. She saw the still open door, and the discarded cup on the floor. Then noticed Dina about to cry. "Shhh, it's ok Dina." She slipped a finger into the front of the diaper. "Momma will get you a dry one. I know you didn't wet this one." She finished with the baby brother, then got Dina a bottle of juice before changing her into a dry diaper again. Dina frowned when she took the plastic panty's all the way off. "Momma has to wash these, but I have another pair for you." She quickly went and got them and put them on us. Dina smiled at her, nursing the last of the juice from the bottle. I faded out as Momma let her and the Baby brother play together. Later when she started to wake Dina up from her nap I heard her softly calling my name. "It's time to wake up Malissa. Come on sleepy head," Momma urged gently. I woke up slowly aware of being naked on the bed. I hurried and got dressed and went to grab her make up bag, to do my face. She was smiling at me and said, "It's time for you to put your own makeup in your purse. So pick out the ones you like, and put them in there then I'll help you get the rest of what every girl your age should have." I had my favorite eye liner, shadow, foundation, perfume. Etc. in there then she added nail polish and manicure kit. A small bottle of nail polish remover and cotton balls, a compact mirror. I thought she was done, but then she came back from the medicine cabinet and handed me three tampons. "Young ladies your age wouldn't get caught dead without these, remember that. plus if someone asks you have an extra to lend if someone else ran out." "Is that it? I looked at my now full purse." Still it wasn't as heavy as hers. She smiled at me, "I almost forgot. You'll probably need these with Bernice running around." She handed me a box of condoms, "Bernice will be most appreciative I think to have those handy." I looked at her shocked, "I sat down earlier with Lady Gwendolyn and we agreed it would be best if she had some sort of ready protection handy when she comes out." "Momma? I forgot about Friday night. It's the Horse Show, and Donnie was going to ride for us." "Oh, that's right, but who really wants to ride in the show?" I blushed a bit, "I do Momma. But Darren will be there and he'll recognize Chawanka." "He's never seen Cocoa before has he?" "No I don't think so. But are you sure it would be ok?" "Not for Barrel racing or Pole bending. But I think there are a few competitions he'd be perfect for. Let me call someone who's familiar with the Show here." She called Bernadine Redhorse, and talked to her a bit. "Malissa wants to ride in the show Friday, are there any competitions that would be appropriate for a young lady on a Tennessee Walker?" "Really? I see. Most definitely, we'll be there." By the way Momma was smiling I knew she had some crazy idea that was going through her head. "We'll see you there then." About that time the step brother got home from school. She told him we were going out to the farm to do chores. And he didn't say a word, just sat down to watch cartoons. Momma had me get out the show saddles and helped me put them in the back of the Pinto. When we got there I frowned when I was saddling Cocoa, I was wearing a skirt, and it wouldn't be proper to straddle a horse in a skirt. "That's all right Dear. It's just us two here. Go ahead and get on and get him settled down into his riding state while I set up a few things." She had her horse Chinco saddled too. so I knew she was going to ride with me tonight, or at least use him to show me things I should know. It took a while to get Cocoa settled down. It had been a while since he'd been ridden. But once he was calmed down and used to me he was very gentle. She had set up a sort of makeshift arena area. "Now Malissa come over here and watch how I get mounted." While I was riding she'd changed into a long flowing skirt. "Watch carefully." She put her foot in the stirrup and pulled herself up, but instead of throwing her leg over the saddle she leaned out and brought it forward, up and hooked her knee around the saddle horn. "This is called side saddle, the proper way to ride in a skirt for young ladies. Now you try it." It took me three tries before I was able to succeed, as Cocoa kept shying away from the unfamiliar mounting. I was worried about falling off, and he knew it. We walked around turning different directions. And eventually as my confidence grew we started putting both horses through their paces. I'd seen Momma riding side saddle before and admired how graceful she was. Now I realized it wasn't that much different than regular you just had to have a well-trained horse. When we left the ring and Momma broke out into a full Rocking chair canter I was scared at first. But as I learned to adjust my knee grip on the saddle horn and relaxed into it, it was so smooth and graceful. "How about a short ride up the road to get used to riding on changing terrain?" I followed her out the gate, and she switch gaits back and forth. We were almost at the cross roads when Cocoa started tossing his head to some unknown disturbance. It took me a few moments to realize he was hearing other horses. There were three of them, well two horses and a three quarter pony. It didn't take long to recognize the two riders, Bernadine, and her only daughter, April. The rider less pony was wearing a saddle like momma's. and I realized that both of them were riding side saddles as well. "Carla, you remember Malissa?" Carla? Darren said her name was April, and he only had one sister and three brothers. Two older one younger I thought as I was remembering. "Yeah, Darren won't shut up about her." "Be nice, her and her mother are going to be riding Friday night. That's why we brought the extra side saddle." Carla was only eight years old, "Darren really likes you. Don't break his heart or I'll kick your ass." "Carla!" "It's ok. I don't intend to break his heart. He's my brothers best friend. And I wouldn't do that to my brother." "Well it sure didn't look like that the other night." I realized that I hadn't even noticed her at the store I was too preoccupied with her older brother. We rode back to the farm and Momma had me switch saddles. Then we followed Bernadine and Carla through the usual competition routines until it was too dark to see. "Why isn't your brother here?" Asked Carla. "He's at home taking care of his bruised ribs." "Will he be riding Friday? You know Darren will be riding in the pole bending and barrel races." "No Carla I doubt he'll be up to it," Momma said saving me. I heard a truck pulling down the driveway, and started to panic. That'll be Dean with the trailer. I told him to come and pick us up so we wouldn't have to ride home in the dark. "So you're the young lady that has my son all twisted in knots. He's really worried he won't get to see you again before you go home." He walked over and took my hand in his, kissing it, "Pleased to meet you. Then his eyes narrowed a bit." "You'll need a longer skirt if you're riding Friday," he blushed and turned his face toward Bernadine, as I readjusted my skirt. "Come on Carla," Bernadine called. "Let's get the horses loaded. I'm sure you're brothers are going to be worried until we get back home." We put the saddles in the Momma's old Barracuda which had been parked at the farm. On the way home I told Momma I was a bit confused about something. "Darren said he only has one little sister and a brother that are younger than him. And his sisters name is April, not Carla." Momma smiled, "Carla is kind of special, like you are. Except she has a more unique problem. And she doesn't get to go to school with the rest. She's home schooled." "Why can't she go to school?" "Her twin April, you've seen her. She was born normal. But Carla was born with extra parts, and the school doesn't know how to handle it." "So you're saying she's a girl/boy." "That's a nice way of saying it, yes. And her parents are letting her choose how she wants to grow up. When she's old enough they will pay for any kind of surgeries she wants to change fully into who she wants to be." "And right now she wants to be a girl. Like me." "Yes she is actually more privileged because they've let her choose for herself her whole life." "So I guess since he didn't mention her, he really doesn't want anyone to know." "Bernadine said of all her siblings, he is by far the most protective of her. And she told Dean not to let Darren come to pick them up because she was worried he'd over react. He thinks they just went for a long ride to exercise the horses before tomorrow night's show." "I bet," Momma continued. "That his oldest sister will be there too." "Oldest sister?" "Darlene, she's in college. But comes home on weekends." Suddenly I remembered seeing Darlene Redhorse, I had thought she was a cousin or something. She was always hanging out with Donnie's girlfriend before they broke up. She'd lived in the house next to the post office with her boyfriend, until she started college. The next morning I dressed and got ready for school. Prepared for all the questions from Darren. "I heard you hurt your ribs, does that mean you aren't going to be riding tonight?" I winced and pulled my arm in close letting him get a glimpse of the ace bandage around my rib cage. "My mom said your sister is going to be riding with your Mom. I guess they met at the arena when my mom snuck off to practice yesterday." "Yeah, Malissa said Carla was really nice. Why didn't you tell me you had two other sisters?" "It's a long story, you probably wouldn't understand. Besides you never mentioned your twin sister either." "Look we gotta get to class, we can talk about it tonight." When I got home from school her parents were there to pick up the step brother and baby brother for the weekend. "Go get changed, we're going to have to hurry." She told me. Her mother caught my hand as I passed. "I knew you were touched child. Just not this way." It was a bit un nerving, I'd always avoided letting the old woman touch me but never knew why. She muttered something in the Blackfoot language. To which Momma replied, "Yes Mother you were mistaken all this time." Before she let go of my hand she slipped a silver and turquoise bracelet around my wrist. "There that will give you strength." "Stop gibbering old woman we have to go." My hand felt cold where her fingers had touched it. but the bracelet was warm on my wrist. "She isn't really crazy. She has the gift of sight, her father was a shaman of the Blackfoot tribe. Now hurry get dressed, I bought you a new outfit that matches mine, for tonight. Luckily we wear the same sizes." I couldn't help crying as I saw what she'd done. It was absolutely perfect I rode Cocoa and lead Chinco behind me, while Momma followed in the car. The timing was close but we got there just in time for the last of the entry registrations. I heard a squeal and found myself being bear hugged by Carla. "You made it, I was afraid you'd be too late. Let's go get your hair fixed before the little kids finish up." She took Chinco's reigns and lead the way to their trailer. That was when I noticed her family had two trailers. "This' the girls trailer, that old one over there is for the guys," she said as she opened the side door. "Carla, I hope you're not letting strangers in here." The tall young woman stepped out of the next compartment, a towel wrapped around her head, and half dressed. "Hi, I'm," she started holding out her hand. "Darlene," I finished. She threw her hair back and looked into my eyes, "Oh My God. It's you." Her shock was so brief I didn't even get a chance to cringe. "And my little brother doesn't know, does he?" "No not a clue." She pointed to my chest, "And those are real?" Momma and Bernadine stepped in behind us closing the door. "Darlene, remember your manors." She started chuckling, "This is too good to be true. But I think we should tell him before he starts in again." "No I don't want him worrying over it while he's riding. You know how he gets. Besides grandma feels there's something bigger going to happen tonight. She was telling me he has a darkness hanging over him." They sat me down at the built in vanity and in minutes Darlene had perfected my makeup. Don't let my brother mess that up before the show starts. We sat talking while she finished her hair. "I'm quite surprised that you are so different from Donnie. And to be honest I couldn't stand him. He always just rubbed me the wrong way," she told me. There was a pounding on the door. "Hey Darlene, get your ass in gear or you'll miss your call." "We'll be right there, asshole." "Have you seen Malissa and her Mom anywhere? There horses are tied up out here." "Darren, be a love and get wind walker out of the trailer. He's already saddled." "Get him yourself, you know he won't let me touch him." Darlene giggled, "My horse only lets me touch him. We had a bit of trouble right after I decided who I wanted to be and ever since then he's over protective of me too." Darren's eyes lit up when he saw me and he helped me down the step from the trailer. "Wow, you're even prettier than the other night." "Thank you," I turned to watch as Darlene opened the back of the trailer. "See you at the starting gate," she said and started walking that direction. The coal black stallion stepped proudly from the trailer. His feet prancing as he moved up beside her. People moved out of their way. "Where's his bridle? Will she be able to control him in the ring." When they reached the starting gate, he knelt down and she slipped easily into a side saddle on his back. There were two other stallions in the line waiting to enter the ring. Both riders were having problems controlling them. Then I realized that the roan mare was starting into her heat cycle. The girl on that horse moved closer to her to get away from the other two stallions. Darlene put her hand on his neck and spoke softly, calming him. From our seat at the concession stand we watched as Darlene spoke to the girl. I could read her lips, "Please move around to the other side. You are in the middle of three stallions on a mare that is in heat. Wind will not hurt you if you agree to let him mount her after the competition." One of the judges rushed over to intervene. As we all rushed toward the gate. "Young lady, you can't ride a mare in heat into a ring with three stallions, your disqualified." Wind took offence at his tone of voice and stepped forward, lowering his head to the same level as the judge. "I believe this competition is about how well horse and rider are trained. Not about making things easy for those with the most money." "Her mare is causing problems." The girl started to back her horse out of line. "I say she stays. Her horse is in control. If those two can't control their stallions they shouldn't be in the ring." Two other judges had joined them. And one ran over to the announcers box. "Entries four and six, will withdraw, for lack of ability to control their mounts. Referees, please assist in removing them safely so no one gets hurt." After the competition, when Darlene and the girl were leaving the ring, Wind kept heading the girl and her mare toward the trailer. "What's happening?" "We had a deal, if you stayed. And he made no move toward your mare you would let him mount her afterwards." The girl was holding her second place ribbon. "I never dreamed I could actually win anything out there. And yes I did agree. But my parents will be mad at me. They are trying to set up a breeding between Polly and a horse called Traveler." Just then Darren walked up with the girl's parents. "Sorry, it isn't happening. Not this time around anyway." "But she has perfect conformation, and a pure bloodline." "Yes and she's been claimed by my sisters Stallion already." "What? This thing." Darlene slid easily to the ground. "Your daughter and I had a deal with wind here. If he kept her safe and didn't bother her during the competition he could mount her afterward." "Like I'm supposed to believe that's the sire of Seven Travelers?" "Wind, take her to the trailer and wait for us." His daughter had dismounted and watched as Wind took the reins and lead the mare away. "That stallion has no bridle on," her father said astounded. "How do you just let him wander around like that?" "As I said, his name is Wind. Wind Walker actually. Ask any local around. They'll tell you." "You can't just let a stallion run free like that." "Do you see that white hand print on his right flank? That is the mark of a trained war pony. He's more intelligent than ninety percent of the people here. So either live up to the agreement or leave right now." "Megan, go take the saddle off, no sense in letting it get ruined." "Actually, what other competitions are you signed up for?" After a minute Darlene hollered, "Wind, bring Polly she has more competitions to participate in." The current show was nearing its end and Darlene said, "You better hurry. The mother daughter event is about to start." We lined up at the gate side by side. And I noticed tension between Bernadine and another woman rider. Well if it isn't Bernadine, "Which one of your curs is this?" "Myra, I had so hoped you'd be here." "I'm surprised you'd show your face again after the last time we met. Well never mind, at least there'll be one pair to give us a bit of competition. Oh wait, this is mother daughter, I think that disqualifies you again." She sneered at Darlene. Actually I'm only here to wish them luck, not that they'll need it. she turned to Carla. "Remember what I said, watch her crop, she gets a bit creative on who's horse she uses it on." "Stay out of my way brat or you'll get hurt like your big sister," warned the girl next to the woman Myra. The judge at the gate looked up to see Darlene there. "Oh shit it really is you. Hey Frankie, hold up opening the gate a minute." He ran off to the announcers stand. "Folks, we're going to make a special concession tonight. The event is not limited to mother daughter pairs. It is open to all mother daughter groups, in honor of the Redhorse Family, and to welcome back to the ring Darlene Redhorse." "Hey, you can't do that. she isn't a real girl, she's a freak." Two of the judges stepped past the line of onlookers. "Miss Redhorse, welcome back." "Some of you," continued the announcer, "may remember when Darlene Redhorse was injured three years ago in Flagstaff, at the national finals. We are very pleased to welcome her back tonight." Suddenly more girls showed up on horses, and they opened the gate to start the event. Everyone started the slow canter around the ring. And I was so proud to be there next to Momma. After a few minutes of showing off the main judge asked that the extra's move to the center of the ring and wait while the registered pairs finished the event. The competition was close. And we came to the final stance where each horse stretched before the judges. Afterward they deliberated almost five minutes while we sat there waiting. "Third place goes to Megan and Megan, Second Place goes to Dorothy and Malissa, and First place is no surprise, Bernadine and Carla Redhorse." "The pair of Myra and Colette are disqualified for unladylike sportsmanship. And letters to the nature are being sent to the national horse competition association." As the pair rode angrily from the ring Colette smacked a judge with her riding crop, and knocked another down when she tried to ride over the top of him. Darlene vaulted from Wind to help the judge to his feet again. They had to halt the next event until after they left because they were blaring their horn and driving through entire crowds. "Ok now that the exiles have left let's get on with the show." I rode in three more events winning two, the last was called the pickup. They put things out in the ring on barrels, poles and on the ground. And riders would, go through as quickly as they could picking them up without stopping or dismounting. Darren tried to talk me into changing saddles, thinking a regular western saddle would be better. I took second place, with Carla as the winner. Of course she had the advantage because her horse was lower to the ground, and she had more experience riding side saddle. Darren rode in the pole bending after that, Traveler taking it with ease. But the Barrel Race was different. He had some serious competition. One of the ring hands got stung by a wasp setting up the barrels. After the first run through it was a tie between him and some kid no one had ever heard of. The other kid got to go first on his second run, and I was wondering why he chose to switch directions. And why the hell did he beat his crop on top of the barrels? We all felt it something was wrong, but what? We moved up closer to the railing. Traveler jumped out of the start tripping the timer as he started his run. He was going in reverse also. After rounding the first barrel though traveler started shaking his head. When he started his second turn something happened, he went down hard flipping and rolling completely over Darren. I remember it in slow motion the horse going over head first. The sound of snapping bones, like a gunshot. Slowly Traveler stood up. But Darren lay motionless on the ground. The next thing I remembered was sitting in the dirt, his head cradled in my lap. Then I was pulled away as ambulance attendants took him away. "Malissa? He's going to be ok. It's just broken ribs." I realized I'd been crying. "I never saw anyone jump a fence like that in my life, Momma. I think we're going to have to keep a closer eye on those two." After they took their horses home. Darlene took ours out to the farm for us. It was just us two in the truck. "Look Malissa don't take this the wrong way. But I talked with Grandmother, and she says that while the two of you are very close you'll never be more than just two intimate friends. Frankly I hope she's wrong but she has the sight. Just please whatever you do don't break my brothers heart." "I feel guilty," I told her. "Why on earth have I suddenly started caring about him like this?" "Because your young, and a girl, and you want to be loved. Just ask the others inside who know about love. Well maybe no