Coming To Terms, Chapter 5 free porn video

Andy was exhausted. He had spent all morning - like 3 hours! - in Dr. Rivera's office, talking, drawing pictures, taking tests on the computer, trying to interpret weird drawings, and telling stories about pictures he was shown. Sure, there had been breaks. But even during the breaks, he felt like he still was being tested. When the ordeal finally was over, his Grandma had taken him to lunch at Wendy's. He really liked Wendy's, but felt extremely self-conscious. It seemed like everyone was staring at him. Did everyone know? His Grandma had told him to act naturally, which had been his strategy the previous day, but it seemed like his confidence had left him completely. "Were you this nervous at the sorority yesterday?" Grandma had asked, as they waited in line to order. "That was different," Andy replied. "They were really nice to me." "I'm being nice to you, aren't I?" "Of course. You're my Grandma!" "Well, then focus on me and forget about everyone else," she had advised. That made Andy feel better and he had settled down and enjoyed his lunch. To his surprise, people really weren't paying attention to him as he first had thought. They were just going about their own business. They were in the car now and on their way home. Andy toyed with a barrette in his hair. "Grandma?" "Yes?" "Do you think I'm crazy?" His Grandma chuckled nervously. "Of course not! What ever gave you that impression?" "You know, Grandma. I dressed myself in Sarah's clothes and then walked around in public. Am I nuts?" "No, no, sweetheart," his Grandma sighed. "You showed bad judgment in doing that, but you're not crazy. Your mother and I felt bad that you didn't ask us to help you." "Like you really would have let me do it," Andy retorted. "We're letting you do it now, aren't we?" "Ah, Grandma! Mommy's making me do it!" "That's not really true, sweetheart. Your mother decided that you should continue wearing female clothing until you come to terms with what you did." "What's that mean?" Andy asked, squirming in his seat. "It means that we want to know why you did it, that's all. Remember, you're the one who wanted to present yourself in public as a girl. We just want to know why?" "I'm tired, Grandma," Andy whined. "Can I take a nap when we get home?" "Sure, sweetheart. * * * * * * * * * * * * Rebecca walked up the steps to the porch of the Kappa Delta sorority house. It was lunch time and she hoped that the two young women that Andy had told his grandmother about were here. The door was open, but she tapped on the molding anyway. "Hello?" A preppy young woman jumped up from the couch. It startled Rebecca. She hadn't seen her sitting there. "Yes. Are you looking for someone? She had her wavy blonde hair tied back in a ponytail and wore a full complement of makeup and jewelry, despite being barefoot and dressed in denim shorts and a tank. 'Sorority girls,' Rebecca marveled. "Can you tell me if Kathy or Regina is here?" "Um... for sure Regina's here, but I'm not sure about Kathy. Let me check." Rebecca stepped across the threshold and waited. Soon, a stunningly beautiful African-American woman that resembled the singer Alicia Keyes emerged from a hallway and approached with her arm extended. "Hi. I'm Regina. Kathy's not here right now, but can I help you?" "Well... er... I don't know." Rebecca fumbled for words. She had rehearsed what she was going to say before coming, but suddenly her mind was blank. "Can we talk for a minute?" "Sure," Regina smiled and motioned to the couch. Rebecca sat and fidgeted. 'What was I thinking?' she thought. 'She can't help me. I should just get up and leave.' Instead, she spoke. "I'm somewhat embarrassed. I don't know quite how to begin." Regina leaned forward and lightly touched her knee. "Hmm... let me help. You're Andrea's mother. Aren't you?" Rebecca startled. "How. .. How did you know?" "Are you kidding? She's a miniature version of you," Regina giggled. "Do you really think so?" Rebecca ran a hand over her hair. "Sure. The resemblance is striking." Rebecca relaxed. In a few short moments, Regina had made her feel comfortable. No wonder Andy had raved about the sorority. "Well... I don't really know how to tell you this, but... Andrea is my son." "Oh, we knew that," Regina said, as if there was nothing unusual about their conversation. "Well, not at first, but..." "You knew?" Rebecca shouted. "And you let him leave anyway?" "Yes, but..." "He was almost kidnapped after he left here!" "Oh my God!" Regina stood up in shock. "Where?" "Over by the athletic fields." Rebecca covered her face and burst into tears. "I'm worried sick about him." She wept for about 30 seconds, then suddenly stood up and turned toward the door. "I should leave." "Wait. Wait," Regina held her by the shoulders. "You can't leave upset like this. Let's go back here for a minute and talk some more." "I'm sorry," Rebecca sniffled, as Regina led her back to the kitchen. "I shouldn't have blown up at you like that." "Don't worry about it," Regina comforted. "Is Andrea all right?" "Yes. She ... he really wasn't kidnapped, but it was much too close." The two entered the kitchen. It was busy with sorority members finishing lunch and cleaning up. "Hey everybody," Regina called out. "This is Andrea's mom." "Really?" One of the women seated beamed. "You have such a cute daughter." Rebecca wasn't sure how to respond, so she just smiled and thanked her. "Listen," Regina said. "Andrea was almost kidnapped after she left here." Rebecca suddenly found herself surrounded by a crowd asking questions and attempting to comfort her. "Hey," Regina talked over the crowd. "Let's give..." she leaned in an whispered in Rebecca's ear. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name." "Rebecca." "Let's give Rebecca some space." They guided her to a chair. One of the sorority girls pushed a package of Oreo's her way. "You look like you could use some comfort food," she said. Regina placed a glass of milk in front of her. "The same as what we shared with your daughter yesterday," she smiled. "Don't worry," one of the other women chimed in. "We made sure she didn't eat too much." Conversation occurred around the table that didn't adhere to any particular theme. The sorority members particularly were interested in what had happened to Andrea after she had left the house. Rebecca provided as much detail as she knew. She added her concern that Andy had been sad and withdrawn, something that everyone in contact with him also had recognized, and that she finally had taken him to see a doctor at the Pediatric Psychology Clinic. The sorority girls were easy to talk to and Rebecca found herself opening up to them about some of her own experiences during high school and college. Amidst the laughter, one of the girls at the table asked Rebecca if she could bring Andrea back for a visit. She shook her head in bewilderment. "Is something wrong?" Regina inquired. "No," Rebecca said. "You've all been wonderful. I'm just confused, that's all." "About what?" Rebecca hesitated. "Well... you said that you all knew about Andy, but you still refer to him as a female. I don't understand." Regina and her sisters chuckled. "It's because we don't know her any other way. She's just... well... Andrea." "Okay, I get it," Rebecca sighed. "My son wants to be a girl. There. I said it." "No, Rebecca, you don't get it." Regina reached across the table and held Rebecca's hand. "Andrea believes that she is a girl. There's a difference." The other sisters added their agreement. Regina continued. "The person we met here yesterday was a sweet little girl, full of happiness and overjoyed that we had accepted her. We even made her an honorary member of Kappa Delta. She was so excited when we told her." "I can imagine," Rebecca choked back tears. "You were the first to accept him. He didn't even give me a chance." She buried her face in her hands again and wept. "I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him." Rebecca again was surrounded by sorority girls giving her comfort. "Look, Rebecca," Regina said. "I don't know whatever possessed Andrea to go to the athletic fields. Looking back, Kathy and I made a big mistake in not insisting to take her home. It's just that... well... she was so happy, and we didn't want to be the ones to take that away from her." Rebecca dabbed her eyes with a tissue. "He's safe now and he's going to stay that way." She looked up and made eye contact with Regina. "But my biggest worry is that I'm going to lose Andy in his heart, that he won't trust me, that he won't love me." Her eyes welled up with tears again. "I don't think that's going to happen," Regina assured, squeezing her hand gently. "What makes you say that?" Rebecca sniffled. "Because you've already taken action to help her. She's getting help at the clinic. You didn't freak out and beat or humiliate her." "I could never do that." "I know. You're a great mother. That much is obvious. Otherwise, you couldn't have mustered the courage to come here and talk to us," Regina smiled. "Everything will work out for the best, because you're going to make sure of it. And we'll help you." The other sorority members added their agreement. "Thanks," Rebecca said. "And because you did come here," Regina continued, "we now have an important piece of information that we didn't know before." Rebecca perked up with interest. "What's that?" "Think about it," Regina said, "Before yesterday, you only knew Andy, the sad and withdrawn boy." "Yes," Rebecca affirmed with a look of confusion. "Well... yesterday we met Andrea, a happy and outgoing little girl. That's quite a contrast." Rebecca touched a finger to her chin. "I see what you mean." She stayed and talked to Regina and the sorority sisters for nearly another hour, ate way too many cookies, and left promising to bring Andy by for lunch on Saturday. She had taken the afternoon off and had about an hour to kill before her appointment with Dr. Rivera, so she decided to drive home and check on Andy. * * * * * * * * * * Andy lay in bed trying to process everything that had happened since yesterday, but it simply was too overwhelming. He was in a whirlpool of conflicting thoughts and emotions that seemed impossible to sort out. He was not sure of anything anymore. A case in point was that he knew that he had laid down for a nap, but wasn't sure if he actually had slept. He remained tired and troubled. Everyone still seemed to be going out of their way to be overly nice to him, but now in a different way. His mother had seemed more excited about dressing him this morning that he secretly had been about having her do it. She had chosen a dress of Sarah's that he always had liked. It was a sleeveless blue and white flower print dress with a full skirt that had a powder blue band waist and a rainbow band hem in different shades of blue. She complemented it with a matching long-sleeved ruffled cardigan, exquisitely soft powder blue tights and a pair of Sarah's black Mary Jane's. She then had brushed his hair and appointed it with several barrettes. "You look so pretty," she had beamed and walked him to the mirror. He was absolutely astounded when he saw himself. He did look pretty, much better than he had been able to accomplish himself. And he had been wrong about his hair. His mother had been able to fix it in a feminine style. "Do you like how you look?" she had asked. He had to muster all of his strength to contain his excitement and not scream out, 'YES! YES! I LOVE IT!' Instead, he had answered with a soft, "Yes, Mommy." "Do you have something to tell me, sweetheart?" He wanted so much to tell her, to tell her everything, but he remained frozen with fear. "No, Mommy." What if she was being nice to trick him into telling her the truth? Then, he would be declared insane, and sent away to the crazy house. He was certain that everyone was in on it, including Dr. Rivera. "My... that's a beautiful dress you're wearing, Andy," Dr. Rivera had said with a smile. True to form, his Grandma had insisted that he be polite. "Thank you, Dr. Rivera." "Good girl," she complimented, patting him on the shoulder. Good girl? Even Dr. Rivera had seemed surprised by that, but it faded quickly. Once they were alone she had acted as if there was nothing unusual at all about him sitting in her office wearing a dress. Instead, she had focused on having him take all of those tests. It actually had not been that bad. Most were like playing games. But he now was convinced that the whole thing had been a ruse designed to wear him down so that he would crack. Dr. Rivera had underestimated him though. He had remained strong. Still, he wasn't sure how much longer he could fight against it. He felt like he was about to explode. Something fundamentally had changed and Andy couldn't pinpoint what it was. He did not have to hide like before. He now was affirming his femininity to everyone, including his family. That should have made him ecstatic, but instead he was petrified. He couldn't understand why? Things were moving so fast that he found it difficult to adapt. Because of this, his resistance had almost broken down when he and his Grandma had arrived home. He had gone straight up to his room, prepared to lay down and go to sleep. However, his Grandma had followed him up and made him take his dress off first. "Hold on, sweetheart, we have to take off your dress," she had advised. Actually, Andy did not understand what the big deal was. He had been sleeping in his panties and red towel skirt for weeks. His Grandma continued. "Your dress will get wrinkled if you sleep in it and then you won't look pretty. You don't want that do you?" "Oh no, Grandma. I want to be pretty?" Where had that come from? Why had he said that? Fortunately, his Grandma just smiled and did not make a big deal out of it. Instead, she started to remove his barrettes. "No! No! Grandma. Please don't take them out." "But we have to, sweetheart." "No! No!" Andy tried to cover his head with his hands. He loved the way that his hair looked and never wanted it to change. "Andy, what's wrong?" His Grandma sat on the bed beside him and pulled him close to her. "If we don't take out your barrettes, then they will pull on your hair when you sleep." "I don't care!" Andy whined, his hands still trying to protect his head from her assault. "Oh, but I think you will care once I explain what happens," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "Leaving your barrettes in when you sleep will make your hair break. Then, it will be shorter in places than it is now and I bet that you want your hair to grow longer. Right?" "I do, Grandma." "Okay, let me take them out now so you can sleep and then I'll fix your hair back just as pretty as before when you wake up. How's that?" "Perfect." Thinking back on that conversation, Andy was certain that his Grandma already must consider him a complete nut case. But she wasn't acting like it and that really confused him. What was she waiting for? She could have pounded in the final nail in his coffin and ensure that he was sent away to the crazy house. But she hadn't done so, at least yet. Why? * * * * * * * * * * * * "Hi Mom," Rebecca said, entering the kitchen through the garage. Her mother stood up from the kitchen table. "Well, this is a surprise. I didn't expect to see you until later today." "I know, but I had a few minutes to spare and I wanted to check on Andy. Where is he?" "Andi is upstairs taking a nap. She seemed really beat after her appointment." "Mom?" Rebecca said in a stern tone. "What's going on?" "I've been wondering that myself," he mother replied. She circled the table, poured a cup of coffee, and set it on the table in front of where Rebecca stood. "And what's that supposed to mean?" Rebecca replied defensively. "Calm down," her mother waved a hand in the air. "No one is criticizing you. It's just hard for me to see Andi as a boy, particularly the way that you're dressing her, and especially since I see her happier than she's been in months." Rebecca deflated into her chair. "I know. I've been having difficulty with it myself, but I kind of wanted to wait until I talk with Dr. Rivera about it." Rebecca sipped her coffee. "Regina over at Kappa Delta said something similar to what you just did." "How was your visit?" "Great. It certainly shattered all of the stereotypes I had about sorority girls. They are a caring, compassionate, and mature group of women. And they absolutely adore Andy." "Is that so?" "Yes. They even invited all of us to the house for lunch on Saturday." Rebecca leaned forward and lowered her voice. "I told them that we are going to take Andy and Sarah shopping in the morning. They want them to model their new clothes in a mock fashion show when we come for lunch. It should be lots of fun." "I agree. So what did this Regina say to you?" Rebecca stirred her coffee. "Well, she pointed out that we've been worried about Andy being withdrawn and depressed. However, they know a completely different Andy, one that is happy and outgoing." "I rest my case," her mother slapped her palm on the table. "What's going on here?" Rebecca held her hands out at her sides. "Aren't you supposed to be the conservative in this house? I would have thought that you would be against what I'm doing." "I was at first," her mother sighed. "But I read about this online. Did you know that girls like Andi are 50% more likely to attempt suicide?" "Oh no!" Rebecca felt her eyes welling up with tears. "I don't want to be part of that and neither do you. Besides, it's always a lot easier to have conservative views when they don't affect you or your family directly. This is serious stuff, Becky." Rebecca had a momentary episode of vertigo and tried to compose herself. "First kidnapping and now suicide? I'm scared to death, Mom!" She began weeping. Her mother rounded the table and hugged her. "There, there, Becky. Andi doesn't have to be one of those statistics. We just have to give her a lot of love and support." Just then, there was a knock on the front door. "Oh that must be Jenna," her mother said. "I asked her to come a few minutes early so that we could talk. It's good that you're here." Rebecca got up from the table and went to the bathroom to clean herself up. When she returned, her mother and Jenna were seated at the table. "Hi Ms. R," Jenna said, beaming her usual smile. Grandma Robinson spoke in a casual tone. "I've been filling her in on what's been going on since last night when I called her." "Don't worry Ms. R., I'm pretty sure I can do this." Rebecca felt a lump in her throat. Jenna's response seemed flippant to her, but she worked hard to control herself. She took a seat across from her and inhaled deeply. "Look, Andy's very fragile right now and I need to be able to depend on you. That means that you have to be sure, not pretty sure, you have to be really sure. Otherwise, I'd rather that you go home." "Oh no! I'm so sorry," Jenna pleaded. "I really care about Andy. Just tell me what to do." "Don't be so hard on her," Grandma Robinson chided. Rebecca sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry for being harsh. I just need you to know how serious this is." "I understand," Jenna said, looking down at her hands. Grandma Robinson squeezed Rebecca's hand. "Why don't you go upstairs and get Andi. I'll finish up here with Jenna." Rebecca thought that was a good idea. She had to get a grip on herself. * * * * * * * * * * * * "Are you awake, Honey?" Rebecca went into Andy's room and sat on the edge of his bed. Andy propped himself up on his elbows. "Hi Mommy. What are you doing here?" Rebecca kissed him on the forehead. "I came home just to see you." "Really?" "Of course," she said, running her fingers through his hair. "I have to leave again soon, but I just wanted to make sure that you're okay. How was your visit to Dr. Rivera?" "Okay, I guess. I had to take a lot of tests and it took a long time." "I know sweetheart, but she needs them to help you, and it was just for this one time. Okay?" "Yes, but... but... she's trying to prove that I'm crazy." Rebecca hugged him tight. "Oh Andy, Andy, Andy." She rocked back and forth with him. Tears began to stream down her face. How could she possibly convince him that this wasn't true? "No she's not, sweetheart. She trying to help you. The tests will help with that." She released the embrace. "Why are you crying, Mommy?" Andy whimpered. She hugged him again. "Oh sweetheart. Mommy gets sad when she sees that your sad. I just want you to be happy." "Okay, Mommy." "Oh, by the way," Rebecca said, wiping tears from her face. "I met your friends at the sorority today." Andy looked up at her, excited. "You did?" "Yes. And guess what? They invited us to lunch at the sorority house on Saturday." "Sarah too?" "All of us," Rebecca smiled, "you, me, Sarah and Grandma." "Cool!" Andy exclaimed, bouncing in the bed. Rebecca considered Andy's reaction to the news and wondered if Regina might have been right. But she also worried if she was doing the right thing. If she continued this, Andy would have a very difficult life ahead of him. Those 50% higher suicide attempts, were not as much due to problems with the children, as they were to the reaction of society had to trans kids. She did not want to put Andy through that. But there didn't seem to be a happy medium. 'Wouldn't it be great if we could just give society an attitude reassignment, instead of trying to fix children,' she thought. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you dressed. Jenna's downstairs and I have to go soon or I'm going to be late. Do you have to go to the bathroom?" "No, Mommy." "Okay. First we have to fix your tights." She rolled them down and began pulling them back up, so that they were secure. "Do they feel good, sweetheart?" Andy nodded his head sheepishly. "They're nice and soft. Aren't they?" "Yes, Mommy," he mumbled. Rebecca turned him to face her. "It's okay to say that you like them, Andy. Don't be ashamed about that." She kissed him on the forehead. "Okay, now let's put on your dress. Lift up your arms." "Mommy?" "What is it, sweetheart?" "Am I supposed to have a slip?" he said shyly. Rebecca stopped and brought the dress back to her lap. "No, Honey. This dress has a cotton lining. See?" She pulled back the hem to show it to him, but noticed that he bowed his head and seemed disappointed. "You know what? I bet you'd like to wear a slip anyway, wouldn't you?" Andy nodded his head. "Okay, Honey, just a minute." She left the room and quickly returned with one of Sarah's full slips. She put that on him and smiled as he shivered with delight as it fell on his body. "Now let's get your dress on and fix your hair." Rebecca brushed Andy's hair and began inserting barrettes. "You know, Regina told me that you were really happy with them at the sorority house. Do you know why?" Andy stammered. "They were nice to me?" "And that made you happy?" "I guess so... Mommy, I'm scared." "What's wrong, Honey?" "I'm scared that Jenna's going to hate me." Rebecca felt her stomach twist. "What makes you feel that way, Honey?" "I don't know," he moaned. "Well, you're wrong, Honey." She finished with his hair and turned him to the mirror on the closet door. "You're so pretty that she has to like you. Come on, let's go. I'm going to prove it to you." * * * * * * * * * * * * Jenna fidgeted in her seat at the kitchen table. She could hear Rebecca coming down the stairs talking. Presumably it was to Andy. She was nervous and did not know what to expect. In fact, she really did not understand what was going on. Was Andy going to be a girl now? His grandmother certainly seemed to think so. She had referred to Andy as a girl all during their conversation. In fact, that was the biggest surprise of all. She had always pegged Mrs. Robinson as pretty conservative. But her reaction to what had happened with Andy forced Jenna to confront the fact that her own reaction had been conservative. Still, she was uncomfortable. 'Decisions made now could affect Andy forever,' she thought. But maybe that was the point. Who knew what the right decision was? Perhaps all of the decisions about Andy's life up to this point had been the wrong decisions and finally the right ones were being made now. The one thing she was sure about was that she cared about Andy and she wanted what was best for him. If this was it, then so be it. "Come on, sweetheart," she heard Rebecca coax Andy. "It's just Jenna. She won't bite." Jenna stood up. As soon as she saw Andy, she was filled with delight. "Oh my God! You're adorable!" She rushed over to Andy and hugged him. "Look at you! You're so beautiful." "What did I tell you, Andy?" "You're right, Mommy." * * * * * * * * * * "You said you felt conflicted," Dr. Rivera said. "That would be an understatement," Rebecca replied. "I'm not sure where to begin." "Well, let's start with what happened at the university athletic fields yesterday." Dr. Rivera leaned forward in her seat. "I can only imagine how worried you must be. But what makes you feel conflicted about it." Rebecca pursed her lips. "You already know my initial reaction. I decided that I never wanted Andy to have to sneak like that again. If he wants to wear girls' clothes then he can do it at home. At least I can protect him there." She paused and sipped a drink of water. "I also think that it's important for him to come to terms with what he did." "What he did? There's a lot of complexity there. Does it disturb you that Andy didn't confide in you?" "Of course it does!" Rebecca said. "I thought I knew my son. I thought that we were close and now I find out that I was wrong. I feel like the world's worst mother." Rebecca felt her eyes filling with tears again. She didn't think that she'd ever cried so much in her life. She struggled to compose herself. "I can tell you with certainty that Andy doesn't feel that way," Dr. Rivera said. "How can you know that? "Because he told me how much he loves you. And the tests indicate that as well. But before I discuss them with you, what about the other part? "The other part?" Dr. Rivera crossed her legs. "The clothes. He came to his appointment wearing a dress today. Yesterday was his choice, but today it was yours." Rebecca felt exasperated. "I told you last night that I am going to continue dressing him like that until he's honest with me about why he went out dressed in Sarah's clothes." "Maybe Andy's not capable of telling you the truth right now." "What?" "He believes that we're going to send him to an insane asylum." "Oh that!" Rebecca sighed. "I've told him over and over that I'll always love him, no matter what." "You know that, but Andy is terrified right now." Dr. Rivera pushed her glasses up on her nose. "Have you considered that he might believe that the only thread that is tethering him to you right now is if he doesn't tell y ou the truth." The epiphany washed over Rebecca like a tropical shower. "He thinks that telling the truth will cause his separation from us." Dr. Rivera nodded her affirmation. "Besides, is the truth really what you're looking for?" "What do you mean?" "Well... don't you already know the truth yourself? Why do you need to hear it from him?" Rebecca scratched the back of her head. "I guess I don't. But what am I looking for then?" Dr. Rivera motioned to Rebecca with her hands. "You tell me." 'Oh Great!' Rebecca thought. Dr. Rivera always managed to turn things back to her. She felt as though there was a band wrapped around her head that kept getting tighter and tighter. What could she say? "Ah... I think... no, I mean... I think I need to know why Andy didn't feel that he could talk to me." Dr. Rivera waved her off. "You already know that. What is it that you really need?" "I... I... guess I need to feel close to Andy again." "Exactly!" Dr. Rivera slapped her thigh. You are experiencing Andy's greatest fear. He's afraid of physical separation and your feelings are of emotional separation." She smiled warmly. "Now that we understand that, we can address both of your fears and work toward rebuilding a strong bond of trust." Dr. Rivera rose from her seat and retrieved a folder from her desk. "Now let me share what my preliminary analysis of Andy's tests reveals." * * * * * * * * * * Andy sat mesmerized watching Jenna touch up her makeup. "Mrs. Kallnon will be here in about 20 minutes and I want to look nice," she announced. "Did you know that she was my teacher too?" "Really?" "Yup. She's the best." Andy certainly agreed with that. If it had been earlier in the day, he would have been freaked out by having Mrs. Kallon see him in a dress. But things had been going so well, that he felt more or less relaxed about it. Right now, he was focused on Jenna anyway. She was applying mascara. Andy desperately wanted to ask her if he could try some, but he was full of apprehension. There really was no reason for him to feel that way. Jenna had been really nice. And after all, he already was wearing a dress. What could be the harm? "Can I try some?" Andy asked sheepishly. "What?" Jenna smiled. "You mean you want me to put some mascara on you?" Andy nodded his head, unable to meet her eyes. She gave him a look of concern. "I don't know, Andy. You're pretty young to be wearing makeup. I think that I should check with your mom first. Okay?" Andy was disappointed. He folded his arms across his chest. But then saw Jenna perk up with a big smile. "You know what?" she said, rummaging through her purse. She pulled out a bottle of neon blue nail polish. "Girls your age wear nail polish. I bet your mom won't have a problem with me putting this on you. Would you like that?" Andy could not contain his excitement and held out his hands to Jenna. He thought he was going to faint when she touched the brush to the first nail. "Look, it's blue, like your dress." Andy watched intently as Jenna carefully covered his nails. "You know," Jenna said. "I think I know a secret." "What is it?" "Well... I think that all of those times that you went up to your room to take a nap or read, you really were trying on your sister's skirts. Am I right?" Andy tensed. "Don't worry, sweetie. I'm not going to tell anyone," Jenna said. "But I think you should." Andy wasn't sure about that. "Maybe." She finished with the second coat and closed the bottle. "There. Aren't they pretty?" Andy nodded enthusiastically. He was in heaven. He only had imagined days like this and now he actually was living one. "Now keep your fingers spread out here on the table so that the polish can dry." She touched his nose and smiled. "You know, I think that Sarah was right all along. You are her sister, so I'm going to call you Andrea too." Andy smiled and felt tingles running throughout his body. * * * * * * * * * * Rebecca leaned forward and set another picture that Andy had drawn on the table. She now was seated next to Dr. Rivera. "So, the tests say that Andy's really a girl?" "Oh it's much to premature to conclude that," Dr. Rivera advised. "All I can say right now is that they seem to be pointing to a female gender identity." "Could it be because he's in an all-female house?" "No, the rearing configuration doesn't appear to have any bearing on gender identity. From what we know, it is determined very early." "Could it have been something that I did when I was pregnant?" Dr. Rivera sat back in her chair. "I think that it would be more productive for us to think about solutions rather than speculate about causes. What would you like to do?" There it was again. Dr. Rivera was laying all of the responsibility on her shoulders. It was maddening. "My head is spinning," Rebecca said. "I don't think I have a clue. You've just given me the very news that I dreaded hearing." "Can you tell me a little more about that?" "Well, let's see," Rebecca said, counting on her fingers. "My son might really be a girl. Oh hell. We both know that he probably is a girl. He doesn't trust me. He could have been kidnapped yesterday. Kids like Andy have a 50/50 chance of attempting suicide." She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm worried sick and I don't know what to do." There was a long pause before Dr. Rivera finally spoke. "Children like Andy actually thrive when they are in a supportive environment. He has that with you, with me, and with his teacher at school, even at the sorority. Andy can live a fulfilling and productive life." Rebecca sighed. She felt drained of all energy. Dr. Rivera continued. "In fact, I noticed a pretty significant change in Andy today, compared to our previous appointments." Rebecca looked up at the ceiling. "You know, Regina said something like that." "Regina?" "From Kappa Delta," Rebecca explained. "She said that Andy had been happy and outgoing with them." "Well... that might be your answer. Did Andy give you any problems about the way you dressed him this morning?" "Not at all," Rebecca said, shaking her head. "If anything, it was just the opposite." "Okay then, for the short term, why not just continue as you originally had planned." Rebecca watched Dr. Rivera scribble some notes. "I notice that your mother already seems to be treating Andy as a girl." Rebecca clasped her hands together. "I asked her to wait until I spoke with you, but she said that it was impossible to look at him and not treat him as a girl." "I know what she means," Dr. Rivera chuckled. "I experienced some difficulty with that myself today. But the important question is can you do it?" "Yes, of course. I just worry that I'm making the right decision. This is serious." "Yes it is." "This could affect him... I mean... her for life." Rebecca watched as Dr. Rivera gathered up papers from the table and placed them in the file. That was it? The appointment was over? How could she just leave her hanging like this? "Rebecca." "Yes?" "I want you to think about what Andi's life has been like up to this point and we'll discuss it next time." Rebecca furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?" "I want you to consider what it might have been like for Andi to know that she was a girl, but have no one acknowledge it... feeling that she couldn't talk to anyone about it, including her own mother... not having any friends... feeling frightened at every turn..." "My God," Rebecca brought her hands to her mouth. "I can't even imagine the loneliness that you're describing." Dr. Rivera placed the file folder back on her desk and turned to Rebecca. "Yes. It would crush the spirit. Wouldn't it?" She paused and then continued. "Now, I want you to think about what it would be like for a parent to know all of this about their child, but still refuse to acknowledge it." Rebecca gasped. "It ... it would be child abuse!" "Exactly." * * * * * * * * * * Rebecca pulled the car into the garage, took a deep breath and exited. She opened the door to the kitchen and walked through purposefully. "Hi Becky. What's..." "Come with me Mom." Rebecca went into the living room with her mother trailing, drying her hands on a towel. She saw Andi admiring her painted nails and burst into tears. She rush over and hugged her tight, picking her up off her feet. "I'm so, so sorry, sweetheart," she sobbed. "I didn't know. You have to believe me. I didn't know. None of us did." "What's wrong, Mommy?" Sarah whimpered, hugging her leg. "I didn't know. Please believe me," Rebecca cried. Her mother approached and put a hand on her shoulder. Rebecca lowered Andi back to the floor and knelt. "But everything's going to change now, sweetheart." She looked Andi in the eye. "I know who you are." Andi hugged her around the neck and they cried together. When they finally broke apart, Rebecca said. "Sarah?" "Yes, Mommy." "I want to introduce you to your sister Andrea... not your new sister, she's always been your sister. Okay?" "Duh! I already knew that!"