A Girl Named Joe: Part One free porn video

Joseph A. Bradley sat in the small camp chair around the fire and realized he was happy. He was on his family's hereditary property on the Hawaiian island of Kawai camping with his family. Dinner had been hamburgers cooked on a grate over the fire with chips and cold veggies his wife, Karen brought. Right now, Karen was in the Winnebago cleaning the dishes and his son across from his having a civil conversation with his father. His Daughter was at the edge of the clearing looking up at the rising moon. His son Edgar was saying something and Joe tuned in. "Miss Yerdley in Social Studies was teaching about the Korean war, I asked mom and she said you fought in that. What was that like, dad?" Joe did not expect that question and did not want to answer it. Doing so would bring up too many memories. The Landing at Inchon, the Pusan Perimeter, the long slow crawl up the peninsula, and the freezing ever present stalking death of the Chosin reservoir. Edgar was a good boy and he did not need to have those things in his head. Joe poked at the fire with a long stick and told him, "Well, Ed. It wasn't like you see in the movies, that's for sure." "I know that dad, I know, but I can't stop thinking about it. I watch MASH and I read books and I try to imagine it, but no one will talk to me about it. And plus there was Vietnam and stuff and I was thinkin' what if I ever have to be in a war." Joe did not like that but Ed brought up a good point. "I don't think you will, not unless you want to and I hope to hell you DON'T Then I wouldn't worry about it. Ed All I remember is being afraid so much of the time and then having to do bad things to people. I remember friends of mine making bad cruel jokes about death and killing, and then some of those same friends, not even being alive anymore. Ed, you don't want any part of that and with the way things are going it may not ever come up, what with the way we're playing kissy face with the Russians these days. "Yeah, Becky, says there's gonna be one on the next moon launch. Dad, how come we're still going to the moon, I thought we quit doin' that?" "Well, I'm glad we took it up again, I would much rather spend my money on that then on killing and war and bombing stone age people with space age weapons." "Yeah, I guess so." "Say, when are you going to bring Becky by the house again? Your mother and I like her." "Yeah, Becky's cool, she likes a lot of the same stuff as me,, but she's smart. She turned me on to this book called "I will fear no Evil"." Joe smiled at that and told Edgar, "I read that, pretty weird book, but good. I like that author's other straighter stuff better, but 'I will fear no evil' was still very well written." Joe thought about Edgar's girlfriend Becky. He hoped it was serious, she was a smart girl well brought up, and had been over to the house often. He could see why she liked Edgar; he was tall for his age, black haired, like his father, blue eyed, like his mother. He had his father's nose and jaw, but where it made Joe look like a fifties movie hero, it made Edgar look like a rock star. That was when ten-year-old Mary turned from her reverie and said, "I want to go to the moon." Joe told her, "Well, sweetheart, the way things are going you just might. The word I hear is that a woman is commanding the next moon mission so there's no reason at all you SHOULDN'T grow up to get a job flying to the moon and the planets. You know, I can remember when trips to the moon and traveling in space were the stuff of dreams, things no one thought would happen. I envy you kids growing up in a world where you can seriously talk about actually doing it. You just remember to study hard and do all your math homework; they don't let dunces fly rocket ships." "I will daddy; I want to be a space hero like Captain Kirk." Joe stood and walked over to his daughter tousling her hair and telling her, "O.K., Pumpkin, Just remember to let the space marines on board the Enterprise do their jobs, in real life the Captain of a capital ship doesn't risk her life going on landing missions." She answered exasperated. "I know daddy" That was when he became aware of all the soda he'd been drinking and announced, "Children I need to water the plants, tell your mother where I've gone." Mary exclaimed, "Daddy, GROSS" Edgar announced in his loudest voice, "Mom, Dad's going to go take a piss!" Marjorie came out of the Winnebago and said archly, "Hang on, I'll call NBC Honestly Edgar must you be so,...so,..." Mary chimed in, "MALE" Joe grabbed a flashlight and trekked off into the deep bush looking for a good spot to do his business and thinking, (Mary thinks boys and men are disgusting. It would be nice if that remained the case for the rest of her life, but that is a fool's hope.) Joe Bradley hiked far enough into the trees and grass and large leaved plants that he was sure his daughter the curious little monkey would not come wandering up to see what daddy was doing. She and her classmates had started learning about the body and lately she kept trying to sneak looks at her brother's and her father's private parts. Not sexually, but because her workbook just showed drawings that may as well have been technical schematics. Joe found a good spot and dropped trau, taking hold of his instrument and letting go with his dinner beverages in the appropriate manner. After shaking the dregs from the tip of his dick, Joe was about to fix his pants when a bright almost painful light hit him and nearly blindsided him. (Dammit) Joe thought, (Some prick in a hobby chopper was screwing around over his family's land and trying to be clever about it by flying below the FAA radar cup.) Then Joe felt, something. A force of some kind pull him off his feet and into the air. Joe rose higher than the tree and suddenly was inside some kind of craft that he swore had not been there. The darkness must have concealed it. Then hands grabbed Joe pulling him and manipulating him. Strange hands on grey arms. They dispassionately pulled his clothes off him and shoved him into a coffin like space. Then they filled the space with a strange thick fluid. Joe thought he was going to choke before he lost consciousness. The next thing Joe knew he was naked and being pulled along by his legs by two grey creatures. They were each about three feet tall and had large, bulbous heads with big black eyes and slit like mouths. They had no noses, only two small slits in the center of their faces. They pulled him along and into a room in this strange grayish place. The gravity was wrong and Joe felt funny like he was almost light enough to float but not quite. The creatures placed Joe on a large human shaped table. It had a large depression that was obviously meant to catch fluid and other biological effluvia. That did not make Joe feel good at all, but he could not move. Then the creatures put a massive wet looking flesh colored sheet over him. It clung to his body and felt like the skin of a chicken, Cold and clammy and extremely unpleasant. Then they started doing something and Joe felt pain. Joe felt as if he was being electrocuted and pulled apart and cut on all at the same time. It was literally torture. Joe's mind wanted to go home, Joe wanted to go to sleep but felt that staying awake and alert was his best chance to go home. Joe lay there and screamed and writhed under the horrid cold slimy sheet that held him and hugged his body and made him feel the awful pulling and shifting and moving of his organs and bones and skin. All Joe Bradley could do was scream out the agony hoping it would end. Eventually after a time Joe had no way of knowing, the horrible seemingly eternal torture was too much and his mind shut down. It was simply overwhelmed by the terrible all consuming pain. Joe suddenly came awake as he felt someone touching him and moving him off the table in the low gravity. Joe woke up and he could swear he was looking at a NASA moon suit. Joe felt bad, and sore and wrong. He was naked and had fleshy things on his chest that seemed an extension of him as if they were part of him. His hips felt wider and wrong and his waist was slimmer. His arms were sticklike and weak and between his legs, there was nothing. The moon suit raised its visor and unsealed itself to reveal a young woman with a black and white head cap on and the head cap had two tiny microphones in it over her mouth and two earphone like devices in it on either side of her head. She was talking to him. "Come on, we need to walk, I know you're tired, I know it hurts, but we have to get OUT of here." The woman in the space suit dragged Joe along with her, holding him in one arm but still being able to almost carry him. Joe meekly went along, trying to clumsily put one bare foot in front of the other on the strange smooth grey floor. The Astronaut was talking to someone else on her headset; Joe tried to tune in, "Schtopaugh, you gotta let me know when you're coming so we can get under cover, this one is naked as the day he was born." Then she said in response to something, "I'd better, Get here quick." The space woman moved Joe along until they both reached the end of a long hallway. She stopped and placed Joe on the floor easing him down slowly. Joe felt legs, buttocks and bare back contact the cold flooring and he wanted to cover up to curl up and not be in this awful, awful place with these awful, awful creatures. The spacewoman put her visor back in place and went to go look at some kind of object in the middle of the hallway, There was a dead grey creature halfway between the padded white package and Joe. then she came back removed her helmet entirely and told him in an urgent voice., "Hey, hey, look at me, kiddo, what's your name?" Joe tried to track and pay attention, but it was hard. Joe almost had trouble remembering who he was; the sensations coming from his body were so alien and overwhelming. Finally as if, finding a golden treasure, Joes' mind found his name in among the wash of unreason. He answered as best he could, "Joe Bradley, I'm Joe Bradley, My name's Joe Bradley. I'm Joe Bradley." The woman astronaut took Joe's shoulders in both gloved hands and told him, "My name is Commander Michael Partenza, United States Navy, NASA, I'm with Apollo 19. We're gonna get you out of here, and then we're gonna blow this place to hell." Joe's mind was suddenly starting to come back up to full status and he told the woman, "Thu-they, they duh-did this to you, too." "They sure did, now come on, you have to track with me, my partner is coming back with an EVA suit for you, we're gonna get it on you, then we're leaving." Joe looked around and at the woman, what was her name, oh yes, Michael, Michael Partenza, COMMANDER Michael Partenza. She was Navy. Joe did his best not to think less of her for that, after all, she was his rescuer. Then six featureless three-foot tall humanoid forms that looked almost like walking grey garbage bags came out at Joe and the Astronaut. She took a strange looking rifle from mountings on her big backpack and shot them with it, having to reload the odd weapon half way through. That explained the dead creatures back In that terrible room, this woman killed them. Joe could not help thinking, (Not bad for the Navy.) Commander Partenza then said, not to Joe but to the other voice he could not hear, He'll live, but you better put a rush on, the ZR's are getting froggy In here." Joe looked down at himself. Breasts, skinny arms slim hands. His hands, his left hand what was wrong with his left hand? "My ring, they took my ring, where's my wedding ring?" Joe asked with distress in his voice. Joe saw the blood drain from the astronaut's face and she exclaimed, "Oh, Jesus, you were married, Jesus, god, they did this to a married man. Please, tell me you don't have kids!" Joe then thought about Edgar and Mary and started to choke up, "Tuh-two, a boy anna girl." Commander Partenza cursed like the Sailor she was, "FUCK!" Then, she said to the man who was not there, We're behind the disaster line, do the do." Joe looked, saw the dead end at the other end of the hallway open, and let in a harsh white light, brighter than he has ever seen. Joe could see a black starless sky and a grey desolate landscape. The moon. He was on the moon. That was why the gravity was so low. Another moon suit bounded toward Joe and Partenza, it carried what looked like a third suit that flopped emptily. It had a silver helmet and black gloves and a grey pack. It looked like the thrift store model. The woman astronaut sailor took the helmet off the empty suit and opened it so that it could be worn, then she told Joe, "O.K., Mr. Bradley you need to help me get you into this thing, then we'll get you back to the LEM and home." The other man opened his helmet visor and spoke, ""Commander, will the LEM carry three of us?" Joe could hear a faint, but recognizably Russian accent. Then looked and saw the Soviet Hammer and sickle on the shoulder of the man's suit. He was Russian. What was a Russian doing on an American space launch? Then Joe remembered, D?tente, Kumbaya give peace a chance. Partenza answered him, "I don't know, it fucking better or we're all fucked." The Russian spoke again, "Torgeson is transferring additional supplies to 'Honeymooner' for a total of four of us to get home on." She answered him, "Then all we have to do is get up there." The Russian answered, "Da" Partenza held the empty suit open and Joe tried to step into it the way he was told. It was almost as if Partenza and the Russian were dressing a small child. They were gentle, and careful making sure all the seals were correct. Now that Joe was sealed up in his suit, he could hear nothing but the sound of his own breathing. Commander Partenza touched her helmet with his and said, "O.K., Mr. Bradley I need you to walk, in a deliberate and careful way, not too slow, not too fast, we're going to go outside and get in the Lunar Roving Vehicle, can you do that for me?" Joe nodded his assent and Partenza told him, "Great, let's get going." They moved to the door/hatch, walking past the dead grey creature in the middle of the hallway, Joe realized the Russian must have killed it, and Joe walked the way he was told. They made it to a moon buggy parked near the door and Partenza touched helmets again and said, "Joe you're doing great, now just help me get you strapped in and we'll get going." Joe nodded and helped Partenza get him in the seat and held still while she strapped him in. Partenza peeled out from a dead stop and they raced across the lunar landscape. Joe looked around at the sky, and the ground in wonder as he realized he was on the moon. Mary said she wanted to go the moon, Then Joe thought of Mary and Edgar and Karen and realized that their husband and father was now a woman. They would not know him. His little Mary would be frightened and confused in the extreme by a strange lady coming and claiming to be her Daddy. Edgar would look at the loon claiming to be his old man and want her locked up, Karen, his dear sweet Karen of the brilliant blue eyes would call the police on this short haired crazy freakish bitch who tried to tell her she was her big Joe. They reached the very distinctive shape of a Lunar Lander and Partenza got out of the rover and told Joe, touching helmets again. "O.K., Joe, O.K., you're doing so good, I am so proud of you, all you have to do is go a little further, just a little bit and we can get into the LEM and then when my Partner comes we can all go home, Just a little further Joe," Joe helped her get him unstrapped and got out walking the way she showed him and then climbing into the Lunar Lander." Another helmet touch, "That's right, Joe, that's it, you're kickin' ass, buddy, I am SO proud of you." Joe laid on the floor of the lunar lander and felt so tired. It was not that the suit was heavy, although on Earth it probably would have been, it was everything, and now all Joe wanted to do was sleep, sleep and wake up as a man on Earth in a world where Russians did not fly on American ships and men did not get kidnapped and transformed into women. Joe let himself pass out, welcoming oblivion. Joe Bradley slept. Moreover, in sleeping he dreamed. He was back home and watching television. Suddenly Karen walked in and she was furious. In both hands, she held a clutch of brassieres and panties that she KNEW did not belong to her. She looked at Joe accusingly and demanded to know, "Who is she, Joseph, who is the slut you've been bringing to our home, have you been taking her to bed, have you been fucking your slut in our marriage BED!?" Joe stood up and realized that he was wearing a dress and hose and heels and said plaintively, "Marjorie, I can explain, those are mine." Joe snapped awake and realized he was in some kind of bag floating in zero gravity. He looked around at first not understanding where he was and not quite remembering what had happened. Then Joe realized he was in a human built space ship and there was a shorthaired woman in Flight white clothes nearby. She saw that he was awake and said, "Hello Mr Bradley, I don't know if you remember me, I'm,-" Joe suddenly tracked and remembered, telling her, "The girl Astronaut with the man's name." "That's right, Mr. Bradley, we're on our way home now." Joe wanted to know needed to know, he had so any questions but one leapt to his mind and then from his lips. "Why did this happen to me, why did those,...things, do this to me?" The woman,...Michael she said her name was and the name on her tit said 'Partenza' She looked at him sadly and told Joe, "I don't know, Mr. Bradley, I don't know why they did it to me either, but we have one of them now, we took a prisoner and you can bet when that piece of shit gets back to Earth , we'll ask him some questions." Joe's hands inside the sleeping pouched rubbed against the drastically changed body and reminded him of the different circumstances. Joe looked worried again and asked, "My Wife, my family, what happens to them, they won't,...understand." The Astronaut, Partenza, yes that was her name, told Joe worriedly, "I don't know, Mr. Bradley, we're working on that." Joe shook his head and asked slightly perplexed and perturbed, "Could you do me a favor?" Partenza tried to look helpful and responded, "Name it." Joe seemed determined as he decided on something in his mind. It was almost as if his next question was born of a scrambling desperate last- ditch effort to cling to sense and rationality, "Stop calling me that. Stop calling me 'Mr. Bradley', my voice is too high and I don't have my balls anymore. I don't think I get to be a Mr. anymore." The Navy Astronaut blinked and acquiesced, telling Joe, "All right, may I call you 'Joe'?" Joe Bradley slumped a little in the sack and again tried as best as he could to keep his hands from touching his transformed breasts and body and female private parts. "You might as well, Commander." "Joe, we're on our way back to Earth now, we'll be there in about three days." Joe Bradley was horrified, mortified, and even a little sickened, "I have to spend three days buck naked in this bag, how am I even supposed to go to the toilet?" "Well there's a system for that, I tested it out, and it works for women too." Joe Bradley's head spun and he made the effort to keep his metaphorical cheese affixed to his colloquial cracker, "This stinks, this stinks on ice." "I know, buddy, I know; Listen, Try, and sleep as much as you can O.K., Buddy? Joe blinked his eyes and worked to keep from touching himself. He tried valiantly to not feel the fabric of the canvas bag against his naked buttocks and breasts an thighs. Joe clenched his hands to keep them from touching his female pubic mound and vulva." "Oh, sure, like it's just that easy." Joe nevertheless did his best to relax and get some sleep. After a time, Joe dreamed. He was at work in his office at Tropic Pacific wholesalers Inc. and going about his day. He made calls to business on the mainland such as C&H Sugar and Dole fruit and Hills brothers and MJB and Maxwell house Coffees Joe's job was to deal with those companies and act as liaison between them and the actual producers of the agricultural products to make sure the growers received a fair deal. Joe asked his secretary to come in and take a letter to the purchaser for Dole about their attempt to shortchange the banana and pineapple farmers Joe dealt with and she came in and looked at Joe. She first tittered, and then laughed as she lifted her hand to her mouth. "Oh my god, sir, you, you're wearing a dress, what's the gag, what's with the makeup and wig and panty hose." she then opened the outer office door and shouted to the rest of the office, "Hey, everybody, Mr. Bradley's in a dress, he's all done up as a woman, I think he's gone queer!" Joe woke with a start to realize the light in the space ship was the same. He had no way of knowing how much time had passed or how long he had been asleep. Joe saw a man; his jacket tape strip said his name was Evans. Joe told him, "Hey, Pal, can a guy get something to eat around here. The last meal I remember was a hamburger, chips and veggies on Kauai." The man, told Joe, "Sure, I think we can rustle something up for you." The man maneuvered himself around to the other side of the cabin space under the three launch couches and took out a pouch from a stowage compartment. Then he stuck it in a little cupboard that Joe guessed was some kind of outer space toaster oven. After a few minutes, he took it out and opened it, holding a spoon, and telling Joe. "It's beef and potatoes.. Listen I am sorry about this, but the Mission Commander says we're not supposed to let you out of there, not even your arms. See, you don't know what you're doing and we're not too sure of your state of mind right now. I'm supposed to feed you." "No." "What?" "I said no, get her in here, I want her to do it. If I am to be fed as if I am a damned baby then I will not have it done by you or that Russian. I want her to do it." The man, Evans took the food and spoon into the other part of the ship the moon lander part and shortly thereafter Partenza floated in holding the food and told Joe, "O.K., Pal. Here it is. It's O.K., Buddy." She scooped a spoonful of food up and scraped food from the bottom of the spoon. Joe saw that in zero gravity the food clung to both surfaces and would have been quite a mouthful if that was not done. Joe held his mouth open and allowed the food in. It really was not bad as Government Issue chow went. Chunks of beef and potatoes in thick gravy heated to a safe temperature, Joe liked it and opened his mouth for another spoonful. As he chewed that mouthful and swallowed he asked Partenza, "So you don't think I've been humiliated enough, I see, you want me to be hand fed like a baby and kept in this sack, what is it do you think I'm crazy or stupid or both?" "No, Joe, I don't think you're stupid, just untrained. You don't know how to move around or operate your body in a zero G environment and there are some pretty close quarters in this ship. Careless movement can damage instruments or yourself or cause all sorts of harm." Joe honestly had not thought of that, then he realized why not. In every space show or movie Joe had ever seen the voyagers always had full Earth normal gravity in their ships and Joe never realized that it would NOT be that way in real life. It was obvious, really. Joe really did not know how to control his arms and legs when gravity was not helping him by holding them down and giving them weight. Joe could just be sitting in place and not doing anything and his right or left arm could just float up and hit a switch or bang against some panel and hurt himself. Watching Partenza come up with another spoonful of food, he saw how deliberate and careful she was being. Joe would not have known to scrape the extra food against the foil bag to keep from choking himself. That was why they were treating him like a baby, because in Zero gravity, he was a baby. As Partenza fed him she also gave him drinks from a stoppered bladder of water. It was one hell of a way for a grown man to eat a meal, but it beat starving. After a beat, Joe looked uncomfortable, as if he had a very definite problem. Partenza asked him, "Joe, what's the matter?" "I, uh, I think I have to, uh go to the bathroom." Partenza's reaction was immediate, she shouted at the two other astronauts, "Evans, Strelnikov, go count rivets in the LEM, I'll tell you when you're done." Then Commander Partenza told Joe, "O.K., I'm going to undo the lacing on your sleep pouch and take it off you, I need you to hold your arms to yourself and try and keep your legs together. When I tell you to open your legs and I'll get you fixed up." The other two Space people were In the Lunar ship thumb wrestling or counting rivets, or whatever they did to busy themselves. Partenza unlaced the canvas bag and Joe held his hands clasped together over his now exposed groin. Joe's breasts boobed free when the mouth of the bag went over and past them and Joe felt very self-conscious of his female nudity and knew the worst was yet to come. Partenza brought out a yellow funnel like device attached to a hose that was affixed to a wall in the ship and she told Joe, "O.K. Joe, open your legs." Joe did and Partenza placed the funnel over Joe's vulva and turned it on. The suction gave Joe a disturbingly erotic sensation and Partenza told him, "Now, just piss normally let it flow out, the suction will pull it in." Joe did so and was surprised that it worked. It felt like someone was sucking on his crotch, but Joe was able to relieve himself. Partenza asked him, "DO you need to poop?" Joe realized that he did and told Partenza, "Yeah, I gotta take a dump, what the hell do I do?" Partenza took out a solid waste relief bag and told Joe how to use it. Joe was repulsed but with Partenza's help managed to evacuate his solid waste. Michael then showed him how to wipe up front to back and told him that with regular feeding and watering he would have to pee every two hours due to zero gravity causing the body's fluid to evenly distribute and the kidneys to try to regulate that. His solid waste would be less of a problem in the rest of the trip because the food aboard the composite ship had a low residue factor that minimized buildup of solid waste. Partenza took out something odd that looked like a pair of puffy boxer shorts and told Joe, "Put this on, it'll help you have to go through this less. In fact you won't have to do it at all if you wear this." "It looks like a diaper; it looks like a big diaper for adults." Joe said disgustedly. "Well, that's because that's essentially what it is. It can hold a lot more though and only needs to be changed every ten hours. Just poop and pee into it and later I'll help you change into a new one." "SO, I'm a woman and I have to be naked except for a big fucking diaper and I have to be hand-fed like a fucking infant." "I'm sorry, Joe." "Shut up, and give me my diaper so I can crawl in for another nap before my next FEEDING!" The seething humiliated fury in Joe's voice was palpable. Joe was back in his pouch near the port stowage in Command module 'Honeymooner' and he was stewing. Joe felt completely unmanned. Joe felt as if everything had been taken from him and wanted nothing more than to hurt someone for this. Joe wanted to do SOMETHING to try to recover his manhood. There was nothing to do. The creatures that did it had likely been killed. The base in which they did it had been destroyed. There was no going back and this was the reality, from which Joe desperately began to hide, Joe spent much of the next three days unconscious. This was by design to keep him from making any dangerous mistakes or doing anything rash. In that unconsciousness, Joe experienced the deep seated and tragic dark core of his self-applied misogyny. He HATED himself. He LOATHED his body as it now was and he now applied the epithets, 'Weakling', Pansy', pussy', faggot, Cocksucker, to himself, simply because he now wore the body of a female human being. It was not because he hated women. Joe very much respected and loved women, holding them in very high regard. It was because he had spent forty-five years being a man and learning how to live and love and think from a male perspective from the years 1934 to 1974. Joe awoke from one of his many nightmares with a mumbled, "Don't hurt me, please." To discover that he was on Earth. Joe was in a bunk on board a Navy ship. It felt as if it was big enough to be a Carrier. Joe looked around and he was in a sick bay. Joe looked down at his own body and saw that it was wearing a set of Navy Hospital Corps pajamas. Joe also realized that his face was streaked with tears,...again. More often than not, during the voyage, Joe would wake from his nightmares having leaked tears because of the terrible nature of the demons plaguing his psyche. The ship Joe was aboard was underway and Joe could tell from the light coming through the portal that he was headed east. Joe looked around and saw a Navy hospital corpsman wearing the rank of a Petty Officer. He said as he cleared his throat, "Excuse me, Petty officer," The young red haired freckle faced man turned and said, "Yes ma'am what do you need?" "Where are we, where are we going?" "The Carrier group is currently 200 knots out of Pearl Harbor, on an easterly course bound for the naval station at Alameda, San Francisco." When the Corpsman turned around, Joe saw that he was holding a syringe he had just finished filling. Joe looked at it and asked, "What the hell it that?" "It's just a little something to help you sleep, Miss Bradley, that all." Joe recoiled from the man holding the syringe and told him, "No, I've slept enough, I don't want to sleep, don't give me that." "I'm sorry, Ma'am, but it's the Doctor's orders." "No, NO! I won't do it, I WON'T sleep my life away!" When Joe shouted, a U.S. Marine, suited, booted, and strapped stepped in and looked with resolute purpose at Joe. Seeing that, his resolve collapsed. Joe thought to himself, (Maybe I could take the Navy fairy, but that groundpone Gyrene will make me eat this bunk.) Joe rolled up the sleeve on his left arm and presented it. He looked at the Corpsman with contempt as he said, "Just following orders, ehh?" The corpsman said nothing and injected the sedative into Joe's arm. It was not very long before Joe felt the dark wet smothering blanket of unconsciousness pull him down. Joe was suddenly standing in line to be inducted into the Marine Corps. It was 1950 again and the navy doctors were checking him over. One of them looked at Joe and told him disapprovingly, "Come on, Lady, what are you trying to pull, get out of here, we don't have time for monkeyshines." Joe protested weakly as Marine MP's moved him out of line, "But I'm a man, I'm a ma-" Joe woke again, this time to the smell of baked eggs bacon and coffee. He looked around and saw an older man in Navy tans wearing the rank of an O-5 grade on his collar. To the Corps this man was a Major, but in the Navy he was a Lt. Commander. He pointed at the tray of food in front of Joe and told him, "I need you to eat that, Miss Bradley you need the nutrients." Joe realized how hungry he was and tucked into the plate of baked eggs, bacon, toast, and Coffee. Joe Bradley said around a mouthful of eggs, "You must be Doctor Leary." "I'm sorry," "You're the guy trying to drown my brain in sedatives. What's up with that, anyway, Lt. Commander, are you TRYING to turn me into a marginally functional ward of the government?" "Miss, Bradley, I am sure you realize the harm you could do, both to yourself and others if you should lose control of yourself, or fly into hysterics." "So your answer to that is to turn me into a vegetable, Doctor?" "I was merely following orders on the handling of a potentially disruptive patient in my sick bay." "Somebody ELSE that was just following orders, you know, Doctor, they didn't buy that crap at Nuremburg and I sure as shit don't buy it now." "Yes, well, as may be, we're close enough to port that I have a certain amount of latitude at this point. Can I count on you to behave yourself and moderate your own behavior?" "Yes, Doctor, you can." "Good, then, in that case, as long as you can behave, I think we can let you sleep on your own and use the time to allow the remaining sedatives to leave your system." Joe finished his breakfast and drank down the last of the coffee. He wiped his mouth and asked the doctor, "So,...do you know,...about me?" "Your name is Joseph Allen Bradley; you were born on February Fifth 1930, in Pawtucket Rhode Island. Your mother's name is Matilda Mary Griswold Bradley, your father is Edgar Mason Bradley, and you have an aunt, your Mother's sister Crysta and an Uncle your Father's Brother William. You are married to Marjorie Bradley and your children are Edgar, 15 and Mary 10, and you used to be man. Now according to my best examination assessment, you appear to be 22 years old and female despite the fact that records show you to be forty-five and male, you are a veteran of the Korean conflict, having served in the U.S. Marine Corps and you currently work as a wholesale foods distributor in Honolulu, Hawaii. Is that enough, or do you need to hear more. "My measurements?" Joe asked sarcastically, "You hips are 35 inches, you waist is 26 inches and your bust is a 35B." "That was a rhetorical question." "No, it wasn't." Joe realized that he had honestly wanted to know and confirmed, "No, it wasn't." Joe spent the rest of the voyage thinking. The Government would probably tell his wife and family that he was dead. They would come up with some cock and bull story and then what? What would happen with Joe? That thought scared him the most. In effective terms, Joe Bradley was a nobody with no legal identity and no future. The most likely future Joe saw for himself was as a Government lab rat locked away In a hole somewhere. Joe learned that going to the bathroom in his female body on Earth was much easier and less problematic than it had been in space. Joe remembered what Partenza taught him about how to wipe up and how to sit when urinating and that reduced the operation to pure routine. All that remained was to repeatedly have to tell his undermind that this was the way it was and would always be. Joe discovered that Commander Partenza left the carrier at Honolulu along with the other two astronauts. That upset him more than he wanted to admit or even let on. Partenza rescued him and Joe had unwittingly placed a great deal of faith in her. Joe hoped he would see her again. When the U.S.S. Constellation docked at Alameda Joe was airlifted from the Carrier to McChord and from there he was taken on a Military Airlift Command flight to Kirtland Air Force Base from there, Joe rode an ambulance to Lovelace Medical Center in Albuquerque New Mexico. The military authorities placed Joe Bradley in a room in the psychiatric wing. Joe had been behaving himself on the voyage and doing what the doctor aboard ship told him, and so his room had a bed, a side table a chair and a toilet. It also had a television and a remote control to summon a nurse and or work the TV. Joe had an Air Force Captain with a caduceus on his collar and a nameplate that read 'Carling' he was a medical doctor and a jackleg psychiatrist, which put him In charge of Joe's welfare. Carling seemed extremely uncomfortable around Joe and only looked in on him when he had to. This caused Joe to judge that Dr. Carling was not very professional and a bit of a candy ass. The day after Joe got there, he received a visitor. Doctor Candy ass Carling ushered her in the afternoon of Joes second full day at Lovelace. A woman in a tan U.S. Navy uniform with Commander's shoulder boards on her jacket/tunic walked in holding a black leather purse on her left shoulder and her pillbox billed cap with scrambled eggs on the bill. She had short brown hair and a serious expression. Joe sat in bed with an insipid soap opera playing on the TV suspected in one corner of the room. It was not that Joe LIKED the show, but even the sickening, smarmy dialogue of the show was better than sitting in this room with his own thoughts. Nevertheless, Joe turned off the television and looked at the two people. Joe now recognized the woman and said so, "I recognize you, you're the astronaut from the moon." The Navy woman turned to the Doctor and told him, "I think we'll be O.K. from here, Dr., I'll call you if I need you." Dr. Candy ass answered, "Of course Commander." and left. Joe thought (Good riddance) Joe looked out the window onto the parking lot of the hospital and gathered his thoughts. Then he spoke them to Commander Partenza. "My wife's birthday, is October 23rd. Her mother's birthday is May the 12th. Our anniversary is July 20th. My son was born on August 6th, our daughter on June 10th. I have never laid a hand on my wife in anger. I always support her in what she wants to do. When she wanted to go back to School, I supported her. When she wanted to teach part time, I told her to do it. I have never even looked at another woman since we were married." The Navy officer and astronaut looked perplexed and asked Joe, "Mr. Partenza, why are you telling me this?" Joe Bradley stood up. Straightening his pajama top and doing his best not to notice the way the fabric pulled against his breasts. "Because, I want you to tell me why this happened. You tell me what I or for that matter you did to deserve losing our whole lives, to have everything taken from us by those, those,...THINGS!." Partenza looked thoughtful and then told Joe, "Nothing, Mr. Bradley, we didn't do anything. No one ever deserves it when a crime is perpetrated on them and that is what happened to us. A race of stellar criminals violated us and now we have to pick up the pieces." Joe asked curious, "Are you going back?" Commander Partenza answered as best she could, "I don't know, a 20th Apollo mission has been green-lit, but I don't know if I will have anything to do with that. I don't even know if my skill set would be called for on that mission." Joe sat back down on the bed and told Partenza, "I don't know what to do, Commander. I have no idea how to go forward from here. How are you doing it, How is it that you're able to function now?" "Well, Mr. Bradley,-" "Please, stop calling me that. Call me Joe, and if I could, I would like to call you Michael." "O.K., Joe. Well I am in the military, and my mind has been using the military life with all of it's structure and rules and formalities as a crutch. "The other day I borrowed a hand mirror from a nurse. I used it to look at, at, at, it, the thing, the thing, I,...have between my legs now. I even touched it, and,..I swear I thought I was going to flip out, go bughouse." "Joe, I know. I know exactly what you mean." "I know you do, Michael. I know you do, That's why we're still talking and, I haven't told you to get out." Joe looked at Michael's uniform and asked her, "How do you wear that stuff, how do you wear, bras and panties and high heeled shoes and the like?" "It was not easy, and sometimes it still isn't. Nevertheless, sheer practicality rules out most of the time. I wear these clothes because for me, now, in this body, they're more comfortable than it would be if I tried to dress as a man. Then too, the Navy accepts me when I dress this way, I have a place among them when I wear what they consider the correct uniform." "Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'll have to learn to get dolled up like that too, won't I?" "Well, being quite frank it would be a good idea. Wearing a bra is more Comfortable for me than not wearing one. Wearing panties is more Comfortable than not wearing them. I am in the body of a woman, this is me now, and so more and more I feel better and more normal in the clothing of a woman as well." "Do you own dresses and blouses and women's shoes,. I mean other than your uniforms, I mean?" "No, Joe, I don't. I don't have one single stitch of civilian women's wardrobe. I haven't really had the time, or the inclination to take any Shopping trips. For that matter I would not even know how." Joe sat back down on the bed and looked out the window once more, "Thank you for not lying to me, Michael, thank you for not blowing smoke up my ass. Will you come and see me tomorrow?" "Yes, Joe, I will." "Thank you." When the Commander,...no, when Michael left Joe watched her go and then watched and heard the door click closed and lock. Joe let himself fall back on the bed and lay there trying to think. While lying there, Joe became aware of his body and there were stirrings happening in his lower regions. Joe's breasts also felt aroused as if they wanted to be touched and stimulated. Joe lay there for long minutes trying to pretend the feelings were not happening. The sound of the clock on the wall seemed abnormally loud and Joe thought he could almost hear the blood pumping in his own arteries and veins. Finally, after staring at the acoustic ceiling tiles until he thought they were going to fall on him and smother him, Joe realized he was unbuttoning his pajama top. When Joe felt the air from the vent in the ceiling on his bare breasts, he reached a hand up and touched his left breast, feeling the nipple with his fingertips. Doing that felt good. It felt great in fact. It was as if the nipple of Joe's breasts were tiny penises and touching them felt like touching and pleasing a penis. Joe rubbed and massaged his breasts with both hands, enjoying the feeling of what he was doing and also not quite able to stop himself, even though he knew someone could come in at any moment. Joe kept touching and pleasuring his breasts and loved the way it felt, but he could not seem to quite get 'there'. Joe knew what the body wanted, but actually doing it gave him more than a little concern. Finally, Joe felt as if he was standing before a great mountain having climbed the foothills. He could climb these little hillocks all day long, but it would never get him to the peak. Joe reached his right hand inside his pajama bottoms while his left hand kept massaging and tweaking his breasts, switching from left to right as needed. When Joe felt the short curly hairs on his pubic mound, he reach three fingers down between his legs and probed into the cleft he had previously only examined clinically. Touching and rubbing the fleshy folds of his vulva and vagina felt better by far than playing with his breasts, but the two actions together combined to multiply the wonderful sensations he was feeling. Joe busied himself for several long minutes, rubbing and teasing his vulva and vaginal lips while he massaged and rubbed his breasts tweaking and teasing his nipples between his thumb and index finger. Joe remembered that his wife loved having this done to her breasts and so kept doing it to his own mammary glands. The pleasure he was receiving blacked out any other feelings and Joe wanted more, but once again, he had reached a plateau a point at which he knew he would have to take it a step further. Joe took his hands off his body long enough to push his pajama bottoms down to his knees. Then he placed his left hand back on his right breast and used his right hand to push three fingers inside his vagina, taking care to use the thumb and pinky to keep stimulating the labia surrounding the opening. The friction of his fingers as well as the way they stretched the opening of his vagina felt incredible to Joe. That combined with the rubbing and teasing of his breasts caused Joes whole body to start feeling warm and good as if his skin was being rubbed by all over by the warmest fuzziest blanket in the world. Joe thrust his fingers in and out of his vagina and rubbed and teased and caressed his breast. Doing this made him feel good, then better then BEST as his whole body felt as if it was going off, as if it were a signal flare, "MMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" It did not feel as intense as a male orgasm, but it felt better, almost as if it were distributed around his body. Like a 'Share the wealth' program for sex. Joe enjoyed that, and so he kept doing it, pushing and thrusting and moving three fingers in and out of his vagina as he rubbed his clit with his thumb and played with his breasts with his other hand. Another orgasm washed over him and he did it some more wanting to see if that good warm all over vibrating feeling would hit him again. After another ten minutes of rubbing, fondling, and digital penetration Joe felt the strongest and best feeling yet. When this orgasm hit him it left him lying there limp breasts exposed, pajamas all askew and his private parts almost soaking wet as he took his fingers out of his vagina. Experimentally, Joe smelled his fingers. They smelled like his wife's sex but different. Unable to quite help himself, Joe licked his own lubrication from his fingers before pulling his pajamas back up and buttoning his top back over his breasts. Joe looked around, as if he was afraid of being caught doing something wrong or filthy. To his relief there seemed to be no one watching him and he rolled over to go to sleep. Looking through the door's window, Tech Sergeant Horvath looked back in after ducking down to make sure Mr. Bradley had not seen her watching. If she was caught observing her charge there could have been big trouble, but the show had been worth it. She was one hot little number and the frigging she gave herself had been a great show. It put an entirely new face on hospital guard duty. The door unlocked and a woman's voice said, "Dietary" Joe looked up and an older woman with a motherly sort of manner brought in a tray that smelled like Italian. She set the tray on the side table and indicated that she would be back in an hour for the tray. Joe looked at the covered plate and uncovered it revealing lasagna and peas with a roll and a rather sad looking salad. The tray also held a carton of milk and a bottle of juice. The last item was a pudding cup in a tin container with a pull open top. Joe ate and drank everything on the plate because he was hungry, the varying quality of the food was a nonissue, and Joe reflected that an old saying stated that hunger was the best sauce. The following morning, Joseph Allen Bradley was waking up to discover he had a visitor. She was wearing a nurse's uniform and second Lieutenant's bars and seemed to be talking, "Good morning Mr. Bradley, how are we feeling this morning?" Joe looked at her, and asked her in an earnest tone, "Why do you talk that way, does it make you feel better, is it meant to make ME feel better? I don't KNOW how you are, maybe YOU'RE having a crappy day, maybe YOU just won the sweepstakes, I am doing pretty damned crappy since I was transformed into a woman by a bunch of unpleasant alien stooges on the moon, but hey, thanks for asking." The nurse told him, "Mr. Bradley my job here is to make sure you know how to take care of yourself now. Such as making sure you know what to do when you go to the bathroom, can you please cooperate with me and at least help me do my job?" Joe deflated as he realized he was being kind of a prick. Odd given that he no longer had one of those. The nurse took him into the bathroom and essentially 'checked him out' on his new female anatomy by advising him as he showered and then peed, As Joe was peeing, he realized he had to poop and told the nurse, "Look, I gotta,...POOP!....sorry about that." She covered her nose and told him, "Front to rear Mr. Bradley always front to rear make sure you never go the other way. And it's O.K., I've seen and smelled worse on this job." The nurse also told him, "I brought you a change of P.J.'s you'll probably want to change your pajama bottoms. Joe looked at the crotch of his P.J.'s and realized there was an almost clear not quite colorless semi fluid substance there. Joe remembered the fun he had with himself last night and changed his Pajamas as suggested. That left Joe on his own for the most part. Joe was desperate for a way to pass the hours, and finally succumbed to the lure of the room's television. Joe turned it on via the combined remote and watched as it warmed up and showed him a rerun of the Beverly hillbillies, a show he loathed. Eventually he channel flipped until he saw a soap he knew his wife liked. Joe soon fell to criticizing the lives and choices of fictional people out of sheer boredom. Breakfast came and went, lunch came and went, the time wore on and around two P.M. Joe realized he was horny again. Joe unselfconsciously reached into his pajama bottoms and began fingering and teasing his labia and clitoris. "MMMMM, yeah, that's nice." Joe reached his other hand up under his pajama top and began caressing and teasing his left breast in time with his other hand rubbing his pubic mound, vulvae and clitoris. "OOOOHHHHH, That's so good, Way better than self abuse used to be, MMMMMM" Joe moved his left hand from one breast to another to increase the sensations, and put first one, then two, then three fingers inside his vagina. The increase in fingers was because Joe discovered that the more fingers he hand inside himself the more it stretched the entrance of his vagina and the better it felt. Before very long, Joe was lying on his back with his pajama top pushed up around his shoulders and his bottoms down around his knees as he vigorously penetrated himself in ever more rapid in and out thrusts. AAAAHHHHHH, YEEEAAAHHHHHHMMMMMMFUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME OOOOOHHHHHHH Yeah, you filthy old bastard you can't get enough of this can you? AAAAAHHHHHHHHH" Joe Climaxed and then heard footsteps down the hall. Joe hurriedly ran to the bathroom almost tripping on his pajama bottoms that he forgot were still down around his lower legs. Joe was about to turn the water on, but somehow could not resist licking his own vaginal secretions from his fingers once again. After doing that, Joe fixed his pajamas and washed his hands just in time for hi mto come out and see a woman in a white dress and medium heels walk in. She wore matching hose and pierced ears and looked very elegant despite her short brown hair, it was, then that Joe realized this was Commander Partenza now dressed in civilian clothing. Joe felt fear for some reason and could not help thinking that one day he too would cheerfully be prancing around in dresses and makeup and high- heeled shoes and going to fancy lunches the way his hoity-toity aunt Crysta always did, brains of a trout that woman. After Michael, left Joe thought about it and realized it frightened him more than even he had let on. It was as if he was looking at his own future. Joe was frightened beyond words of one day losing himself, who he felt he was. What did it mean that an Astronaut, a war hero, Like Mike just embraced the trappings of womanhood so quickly and easily, or at least so it seemed. That night, after dinner the nurse came in to help Joe with his shower. Joe did not think he needed the help, but it was doctor's orders that he be supervised and even instructed while showering. The strange thing was that Nurse Barrett, AKA Second Lieutenant Barrett insisted on washing Joe. She even locked the door and took off her uniform so that she could disrobe and get into the shower with him. At first, she was seemingly dispassionate as she soaped up a washcloth and told Joe, "Now, you're going to have to make sure you wash every part of yourself, hygiene is even more important for a woman than it is for a man." As Barrett said that, she began soaping up and scrubbing Joe's breasts. Joe thought she spent a little more time that strictly needed doing that when Barrett moved her left hand down Joe's tummy and, keeping her right hand of Joe's right breast, her left hand started scrubbing Joe's pubic mound. "What are you--? OOOOOHHHH" Barrett began probing the fleshy folds of Joe's vagina with her fingers as Joe at first froze, but then suddenly relaxed into her embrace. When Lt. Barrett realized that Joe not only wasn't going to stop her, but was actually enjoying what she was doing, told him, "I thought so. When Sergeant Horvath told me about you in here playing with yourself like a dirty little slut, I knew you would like this, now just relax and Mother will make you feel good." Barrett, continued to tease and caress and massage Joe's breasts as her other hand rubbed and probed Joe's vulva and vagina. Joe moaned, again and said, "You're a, a, d, aaaaaahhhhhmmmmmm A dyke." Barrett inserted two of her fingers into Joe and nibbled on his ear and whispered into Joe's ear as she told him, "That's right, and so are you, You're creaming all over my hand and loving what I am doing aren't you?" "Uuuuhhhhhmm Aaaaahhhhh G,Gahd, Thuh, this isn't rhuh, right, is it?" By this time Joe's body was fully against Barrett's and his eyes were half closed with pleasure as his voiced roughened with the ardor that was building inside him, Nhuh, no, This is, isn't right,..." Barrett began frigging Joe in earnest and pleasuring his breasts to build Joes orgasm, that Barrett knew was coming and that Joe could feel building, faster and strong than what he could do to himself. Barrett whispered into Joe's ear, "Then scream, that's all you have to do, MISS-ter Bradley. Just scream and the A.P.'s will come and save you from the mean nasty filthy bulldagger that is raping you." By this time, Barrett's fingers had quickened their pace and Joe's body shook with an orgasm stronger than any he had ever felt. "OOOOOOHHHHHHH GGGGGOODDDDDDDD AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" "Just scream, and I'll stop, MISS-ter Bradley, if you scream like Faye Wray I'll stop, but one more slutty moan out of you and I'll know you love getting fucked by nurse Lesbo." Joe rubbed his pubic mound against Nurse Barrett's moving thrusting probing hand and by this time was holding the nurse's other hand against her breasts and screamed, "OOOOHHHHHH< YESSSSSSSS, OOOOHHHHHHH,, AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" As Joe's vaginal ejaculate covered, Nurse Barrett's probing thrusting fingers. That was when Barrett turned Joe around and took his left hand, placing it on her own pubic mound, telling Joe, "You were a married man, now you know what to do, don't you? It's time for Mother to get hers, isn't it?" Joe began feeling and caressing Barrett's public mound and, remembering what felt good when he masturbated his own new female anatomy, Joe started rubbing and the put one, then two fingers into Barrett's vagina. Lt. Barrett told her, "Ohhh, Yes, that's the way, Mother likes, that." That was when Lt. Barret kissed Joe, full on the lips probing at his mouth with her tongue. Joe balked for a few seconds, but then the feeling of Barrett's hands on him and the sensation of his hand in her caused him to open his lips and reciprocate with his own tongue, running it over her teeth and entwining it with hers. Barret moaned into Joe's Mouth as the two people frigged each other, and Joe reached his other hand to fondle Barrett's breasts in return. Barrett moaned in ecstasy as Joe frigged her to her first orgasm, and that made her penetrate Joe to yet another climax. After that, Barrett told Joe, "That's enough; now let's get you dried, off and into some fresh pajamas, O.K.?" Joe nodded and allowed Barrett to gently move and manipulate him as she got him out of the shower and dried him off. Joe's hair was still very short, above her ears and almost military by male standards. "You really should let your hair grow out, Jo, you could be so pretty, do you know that?" Joe could hear the woman pronouncing his name as if it were the feminine, not the masculine and would have said something, but Joe was feeling psychically and mentally overwhelmed by what he let her do. Joe Bradley asked himself, (Why didn't I stop her? She raped me, she sexually molested me and I let her, and then co-operated. What does that make me? What about my wife, what about Marjorie, how could I break my marriage vows so easily. How could I let myself be sexually abused like that, why didn't I scream?) Joe Bradley was still sitting on top of his made bed covers and by now had his knees tucked up under his chin as he stared into the darkness of the room at night trying to think. Joe realized that he had been raped. Sexual contact without his consent by a definite sexual predator. The fact that she made him like it and even reciprocate made it worse. Joe knew one thing; He had to get out of here as soon as he could before she came back and made him do it again. Joseph A. Bradley had felt weak and little and vulnerable because of what those creatures did to him and he abused himself because he wanted to feel human, to feel something, anything, and then that, WOMAN came in and used Joe to make her feel good and give her a feeling of control and power. Those creatures made Joe Bradley feel like an object, and then that, NURSE whom Joe was supposed to trust, and rely on, made Joe feel worthless, like her sex toy, not even human, just a vessel for her pleasure and power. By the time the clock on the way read 1100 PM, Joe was on his side curled up into a fetal ball and crying. He mumbled to himself, "You made me like, it, you bitch, and you made me a nothing, and made me like it." At that moment, Joe knew he could never tell anyone. He felt so ashamed that he knew he would never want anyone to know how much like a nothing she made him feel. The next morning Joe picked at the breakfast that hospital dietary brought him and could not bring himself to change out of the previous night's pajamas. Commander Partenza arrived an hour after that and she was wearing her Navy Uniform. That was when Joe saw the fourth gold band of each sleeve cuff and realized it was CAPTAIN Partenza. Michael told Joe that she was taking him with her as a ward in her care and handed Joe a bag of freshly bought clothes in an AAFES bag from the BX. It held sneakers, ankle socks, girl's jeans, and a shirt that looked almost like a man's dress shirt. It also contained a conservative pair of panties and a bra. The bra clasped in front witch was good. Joe did not think he could stand having to dress with Mike in there with him. When Joe came out of the bathroom dressed in the mercifully masculine clothes, Mike took him downstairs and the processed his discharge. Joe was glad to be out of there, because it meant when that woman came in tonight Joe would not be there. Joe would not have to face her or endure a repeat of the previous night's violation. Joe sat in the passenger seat of Michael's 1974 Corvette and fidgeted, as if he had a terrible secret. Joe felt like he was being watched and judged and suddenly seemed desperate to get perceived attention and criticism off himself. That was when Joe saw the gold ring with three diamonds crossing the horizontal point of the symbolic letter 'A' on the ring. The way it glinted In the light it was obviously a real diamond and gold ring and that meant someone had paid a pretty penny for it. Joe asked about it and learned that Michael was engaged to be married to a man and that man was the Russian, Schtopaugh Strelnikov. That meant Michael was allowing that Russian to fuck her, to do things to her, to,...to Joe could not finish that thought and Joe lashed out in an accusatory manner as if Michael was to blame for doing something shameful and terrible. Joe was not aware of what he was doing, but he was projecting his own feeling of shame and nonperson hood onto Michael. Doing so made Joe feel, not quite clean, but at least ,less dirty When Michael lashed back and told Joe that he was out of line, Joe dialed it back, but was still desperate to find somewhere to put this terrible dark shameful feeling he had sitting in his gut as if it were a cancer. Joe did not have many belongings, Check that, Joe Bradley own the clothes that were on his body and nothing else. That reality stung him badly as he realized his total and complete dependence on Michael, and by extension the Federal government. Not that Joe had anything against the federal government, per se; it was the total dependence, the lack of any perceived power of selfhood. Joe could not seem to get away from feeling as if he had no power, no self, and no real identity of his own. Michael and Joe flew on an Air Force Military Airlift Command flight to Patrick Air Force Base in Florida. then they drove to Cocoa beach where Joe was given an efficiency apartment for one month, a selection of underwear, clothes and books and other sundries and a weekly allowance of 150 dollars to terminate on October 20th when he would rotate back to New Mexico. Joe would receive each allotment of money from an Air force bursar who would show up every Monday to look around, assess his living conditions and hand over the envelope of cash. Joe Bradley looked around the apartment. It had a single big room about the size of Joe's old living room in his old house. Directly off this big living space was a little kitchenette. And a door in the second wall led to a bathroom small enough to put the closet in 'Water closet'. It held a stall like shower, a sink and a toilet, the whole affaire was tiny enough to rate the term 'cell' in joes mind, in both senses of the word, 'prison' and 'microbial'. The living area and the bedroom were effectively the same big space. The landlady called it a 'Studio' apartment, Joe mumbled to himself, "Must have been a' been a Grindhouse studio." Second Lt. Frank Burns (No relation) told him, "This is your first allotment of funds. One hundred and fifty dollars for food, additional clothing, and any sundries you might need. I do not foresee you using all of it or even half of it before you receive the next stipend but NASA preferred to err on the side of caution and let you HAVE more money than you needed, rather than see you need more money than you had." Relax, 'El Tee' I won't be going on any spending sprees. Of course I don't know about these clothes you guys provided me , " "What is wrong with them?" Well, for one thing, the only pair of pants in this place is the ones covering my ass right now and I just do not see myself putting on clothing from the friggen fifties. Not if you guys want me to stay under cover. 22 year old woman simply do NOT dress this way, not now." "As you say Mr. Bradley." With that, Lt. Burns departed. Joe looked around the apartment. One bed, single one nightstand, cheap looking, one dresser, equally cheap looking. One Television, portable. Joe turned it on and learned it was a 20-inch color screen that Joe would not be using very much. He usually detested television and did not watch it unless he was desperate. Joe looked through the dressers and found dresses, granny panties, bulky brassieres, and thick hose. The closet contained skirts, more dresses, and clunky looking low heeled and high-heeled shoes. Joe looked at the money in his hand and realized that he would be spending it on food, and clothes and books, the clothes would be as masculine as he could get away with and still manage to be comfortable on a female body. Michael dropped by that afternoon and offered to take Joe to lunch, Joe accepted gladly. "Well, that little apartment is about where I thought they would put you. They'll pay one month's worth of bills and rent, but I would not get too settled in, Joe." "I know and I don't plan on it, but I was gonna get some stuff. I thought I'd get some books and clothes and things, not too much but, enough to where I have my own things. Mike, I don't know if you're dealing with this, but I don't have anything,