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No Turning Back free porn video
No Turning Back
By Cassandra Ann
Note: This is my first story. I'm sure it's riddled with holes, writing
errors, spelling errors and might not be any good. I invite honest
opinions as I want to learn and you don't learn unless people tell you
what's wrong. Thanks for reading and I hope it's not too bad. BTW some of
this is true, some of this is fantasy and I let you ponder fact from
fiction :)
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First the mandatory background...
I don't know why I dressed in woman's clothing. I guess it made me feel
relaxed and calm in my world of stress. As I aged this urge became more
of a compulsion but I was able to keep this secret world of mine hidden
from not only the outside world but also my spouse whom I loved dearly
and adored. I'm not sure if the internet helped or made it worse. You see
the internet, while a wealth of knowledge and a door to another universe
where you can be whomever you want, was also an enabler to me. It allowed
me to do things that I would never do otherwise like shop for woman's
clothing, makeup, shoes and, and as I discovered later, even hormones.
Skip forward twenty years...
My spouse found out eventually and while understanding and somewhat
supporting, she would rather I keep my little "hobby" to the confines of
our home. In other words she was accepting as long as no one else knew
about it. Considering what I have read about other transgender marriages,
I considered myself lucky. Years of on-again, off-again hormones had
given me a female shape including small breasts with very large nipples
and dark aureola and a huge bubble butt and hips. Let me tell you...
these creep up on you because you forget that female hormones do not just
target your bobbies but your entire body. I could no longer take off my
shirt in front of people and I even had to start wearing an extra t-shirt
to work because I learned that what happens to women when they become
aroused, also happens now to me. One day at work I looked down and see
two huge nipples poking out of my shirt! Trying to make them go down only
makes it worse and you simple cannot turn them off. I learned that men's
clothing no longer fit my body so I needed to start buying female
versions that looked somewhat like men's. The problem with this is that
while some cuts of women's clothing looked almost the same, there are
small differences like smaller pockets in jeans or no pockets at all.
Buttons on the opposite side and lower cut necklines of shirts. Many of
the pants and shirts (tops) were cut to show off a woman's figure and not
hide it like I wanted. While woman's pants fit me so much better now,
they actually drew more attention to my bubble butt instead of hiding it.
To hide it I started to wear my tops longer and outside my pants and
found tunics work well. Needless to say these tunics may have hid my
expanding ass and hips but since there was really no male equivalent, all
I ended up doing was drawing more attention to myself instead of less.
I kept trying to stop taking the hormones but they made me feel so good.
It's hard to describe the feeling if you have never been on them but I
felt relaxed and whole. A peaceful calmness about life and the world
around me. Later, after years of taking these hormones, I discovered that
they also affected another part of me. A part that I hated and wanted
gone but a part of me that my wife liked. While making love one night my
wife stated... "I want you inside me" and this is when it hit me. You see
I was inside her and she could no longer feel me. Apparently the hormones
had shrunk me down so much that I could no longer please my wife as a
male so from this point on we became lesbians. I had to learn how to
please another woman as a woman because I no longer had functioning male
equipment. I actually became quite good at it and I'm now an accomplished
"rug muncher" so-to-speak.
Fast forward to the present. I wear panties and camisoles under my
clothes each day and upon arriving home I change into women's attire. I
had to buy another dresser to hold my additional clothes and I now own
very little male clothing. I've had some counseling where I was diagnosed
as being a true transsexual, a woman trapped in a male body, and I wear
light makeup, legs and underarms always smooth and even pluck my eyebrows
a bit. I'm still living with my bisexual wife who has accepted me as a
lesbian but she still insists that I keep this under wraps to friends and
family. My job is such that coming out would ruin my career so I'm very
careful not to go too far. I'm sure some may suspect but I've become
quite the actor... or actress. I've joined a few local transgender groups
and I've gone out a few times (at night) while dressed but I still look
like a man with curves so passable I'm not. I'm very careful to keep my
two worlds separate... well at least as much as possible.
So on to the story...
The urge to go out dressed was at it's peak during the spring of 2012.
This was not helped by the number of daily posts on one of the blogs I
subscribed to showing pictures of so many of the girls having so much fun
at the bars each night. What kept me inside was the fear of being stopped
by the police, having a flat tire or even getting in and out of the house
without the nosy neighbor seeing me. Both men and women look at other
women and these stares, even if I could pass, were unnerving to say the
least. So fear was keeping me inside but the longing to go out was
increasing to the bursting point. I've been out many times in full female
clothing but clothing that was unisex aside from subtle differences. I
wanted to go out fully dressed. Heels, hose, dress, wig... the full nine
yards! I noticed that there was going to be a transgender party the
following week and I was off the next day. I was determined to attend
even thought thoughts of drugs, orgies, group sex and all sorts of
debauchery came to mind. You see I was a bit of a plain Jane when it came
to parties. I never smoked, seldom drank and never touched drugs aside
from the over the counter stuff. My entire life was about control and any
loss of control scared me to no end. As the day grew near, my mind filled
with excuses not to go. It might rain, it might be too cold, too hot, too
windy, too dry, too nice... you name the excuse and I thought of it!
The night of the party proved to be perfect. The wife was going out with
her friends and would not be back until late. Even though she accepted
who I was, I just did not feel like explaining where I was going and what
I would be doing. Truth be told I had no idea what I would be doing. I
took my time preparing for the evening. If you want twenty pages on how I
shaved, what color makeup I used or how long it took to fix my wig, go
read another story. Suffice it to say that I did my very best and
although I wasn't passable even by a long shot, I think I was
presentable. As I sat waiting for the sun to go down, my heart was
pounding as the mixed feeling of anticipation and dread filled my head.
The party was going to be some distance from my home so the chance of
running into someone I knew was slight as long as I could get into the
car without being observed. Thoughts of the entire neighborhood looking
out their windows or sitting on their porch just as I had to leave filled
my head but alas, as the hour came, it was quiet and dark.
Getting into the car proved easy as we had a side drive. Once inside the
car I checked my makeup and set out for my first party! The farther I got
from home, the more excited I got and in no time I was pulling in front
of a storefront that was rented for the party. Two or three hours later
(actually only five minutes LOL) I exited the car and approached the
entrance. I was let in, paid a small fee and tried to blend in. Needless
to say a few of the girls walked up to me and introduced themselves.
Their warm reception and outgoing personality was contagious and soon I
was breathing once again. I explained that this was my first party upon
which they announced to everyone that I was a virgin who needed her
cherry popped. I was then dragged around to meet everyone and was
surprised that a few men where also at the party... at least I thought
they were men.
Well the party started hopping and got quite crowded. A few of the girls
dragged me into the bathroom to fix my makeup when I observed some drug
use the the washroom. I was still pretty nervous as the girls redid the
makeup I had brought with me. It was clear that the drinks were not
watered down as everyone seemed to be having a great time. I had a bit of
a headache and rubbed my temple when the girls asked me if I was feeling
ok. I replied that I just had a small headache and one of the girls
opened up her purse and gave me a small blue pill telling me that this
would help me feel better. Well I popped what I thought was aleve, washed
it down with my drink, and went and sat on a sofa. As I watched the
party, several men and women walked up to me and it was clear they were
looking for more than conversation. I tried to be polite and in a strange
way it made me feel good inside that others might find me attractive even
if they had to be drunk or stoned to think so. I started to feel better
and allowed one of the men to sit next to me and put his arm around me.
He started to rub my leg and my heart started pounding. Apparently his
hand was going up a little too far when one of the girls grabbed me and
asked to dance. As we danced she explained what a Tranny Chaser was and
that the one sitting next to me was one of the biggest having bed several
at the party.
I started feeling really good and when I mean good I meant great! I never
felt so good in my life and things started to go so fast. I remember
drinking a lot, grinding myself on the dance floor with women and men and
even remember smoking a few joints. As I loosened up it seemed like an
entire lifetime of inhibition and repressed feeling all came out at the
same time. I lost track of time and as I got warm I remember removing
some of my clothing including my heels and tossing them across the room.
Hands on my ass, breasts, hips and legs became the norm as I not only
didn't mind but even encouraged it. I was a total party slut until it all
went black.
I awoke on a sofa in a dark room. My head hurt, I had to pee and it
seemed like I was sore all over. I had no idea where I was but the room
was very clean and well furnished from what I could see from the light in
an adjacent hall. As I looked for a bathroom and moved about the
apartment, I felt pain coming from several areas of my body. My lower
back itched as well as my chest and when I went to scratch, it hurt like
hell. My face also hurt as well as my ears, stomach and my ass. Despite
my throbbing head I was able to find a bathroom and turn on a light. It
took a bit before my eyes adjusted but when they did I just stared in the
mirror. Although much of my makeup had seen better days, my lips appeared
to be lined with a fine line just outside my natural lip line. The effect
was to make my already large lips look huge or so they seemed huge to me.
DSL's or Dick Sucking Lips are what they are called and it seemed that
someone must have applied some makeup on me at the party. In addition to
the lip liner, I now had fresh eyeliner that looked a bit strange as for
some reason the liner looked perfect but my eye shadow was smudged. My
eyebrows were also in a very high, thin arch which worried me because it
would be hard to hide them until the grew out. I've never looked so good
even with damaged makeup. After staring at myself in the mirror for a few
minutes I then discovered that I now had pierced ears. Now once but three
times in each ear! Shit, shit, shit, shit I kept saying and I must have
woken up my benefactor who stood in the doorway and asked if I was ok. As
I would discover later, Susan had taken me home with her after I passed
out in a cab. She told me we had better sit down and she made some coffee
as I sat at the kitchen table and discovered a few more little things.
Apparently I now sported pierced nipples, a navel ring and the pain in my
back was a large tramp stamp that I now possessed as well as a large rose
on my left breast. I was wearing one of Susan's robes and she informed me
as she served coffee that upon arriving at her apartment, all I had on
was my ripped dress. Panties, bra, purse and heels were missing in
action. Not having identification she decided to just take me home to
sleep it off.
Some of what follows was told by Susan, some told to Susan by some of the
other girls but I remembered nothing. Apparently they dragged my out of
one of the side rooms where I was performing as quite the whore according
to the line of people leaving the room. They then dressed me as much as
possible and when one of the girls started crying she explained that the
pill she gave me was a strong dose of ?E? that she thought I could
handle. Feeling responsible they called a cab and we went to another bar
when I insisted we stop a tattoo parlor next door first. Two hours later
I left sporting a large tramp stamp, a rose on my breast and my eyeliner,
lip liner and eyebrows... yep all permanent tattoo and electrolysis. The
girls tried to stop me but apparently I was VERY insistent, proclaiming
to all that I was going to be the girl I always wanted to be. As I sipped
the coffee I thanked Susan and started to cry. The weight of what I just
did to myself came crashing down. I could not hide this. How would I
work, what would I say to my wife, how would I even get home. From what
Susan described, I was quite the slut giving blow jobs, while being
fucked with no protection. Susan held me tight and told me that
everything would be ok. I could call my wife and explain that the party
went late and that I was sleeping at a friends. In the morning we would
see if anything could be done to make me look male again. With my already
hormone enhanced b-cup breasts, huge ass and hips, it would be almost
impossible to ever pass as male again with the permanent makeup,
piercings, and eyebrows. I guess there really is no turning back... I let
my genie out of the bottle and after many years of self repression, I now
was forced, for better or worse, to stop living a lie.
<end>
I've left room for additional chapters if anyone thinks they are needed.
I hope you've enjoyed this little fantasy.
-Cassandra
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