Cartoon Karma
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Cartoon Karma 2: Going To The Chapel free porn video
Cartoon Karma 2: Going to the Chapel
By Shawna Stimple
It was a bright and not so early, when Will Watson awoke to his rooster
neighbor, somehow drunk, and crowing at the crack of noon. "Please tell me
that it's not morning already." he said, before glancing down at the
diamond ring, still stuck on his finger, and groaning.
He put on the same Jeans and T-shirt combo that matched every other outfit
in his closet, except a certain puffy sleeved dress. After neglecting to
shower, he strolled into the living room, and took a seat on the sofa, to
begin, what he'd hoped to be, a busy day watching television.
"Will!" his girlfriend Megan screamed, as she stepped out of the kitchen.
"What?!" he yelled back, never removing his eyes from the screen.
"How many times do I have to tell you to take out the garbage? It's been
piling up for days. Look at this mess" She grabbed him by the head, and
pointed him towards the largest mountain of trash to ever fit in the corner
of a room. The flies, and visible smells were abundant, as a foghorn
sounded in the background behind it.
"I'll take care of that after this show. Okay Sweetie?"
Megan couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her jaw dislocated from her
head, and her mouth fell open all the way to the floor. "I can't believe
you! You always say after this show, and then you go ahead and watch the
next one."
"So?"
"So?!. I thought you would have learned something from your little miss-
adventure last week, but no. You haven't even dyed your hair back to
normal, and you've done nothing about that diamond ring. You have to be the
laziest person I know."
"Nice pun..."
"Thanks"
"...but you've know I'm this way, and you love me anyway. What would you do
without me, really?"
The room started shaking, as Megan's face filled with blood, and steam
began to come out of her ears. Out in the hallway one would see their
apartment door fly open, and will being thrown out, literally on his ass.
The door then slammed behind him. "What am I supposed to watch out here.
There's no TV in the hall. I'll die out here!" he said, beating on the
door, with his tears pouring out like a faucet, to the point that they
flooded the hallway. The door swung open again. "Thank you so much. I love
you..." he said, before all the trash launched out of the apartment onto
his head, and a giant hammer from nowhere KABLOWS into the mess, and
launches it down the trash chute, along with Will himself.
Once the stars circling his head disappeared, Will realized he was in the
dumpster beside his building. "Better give her a moment to calm down." he
said aloud to no one, and then taking a deep whiff of himself, and nearly
dying from the rotten odor. "I better go find a place to wash off. I'll
come back to check on her later."
A short trip to the river later, and he was actually kind of enjoying
himself swimming alone in the river. "This being active stuff isn't so bad.
I'll tell Megan she was right when I get home. She always gets a kick out
of that." he thought to himself, as he enjoyed the cool water. A few
minutes later he'd decided he was ready to head back, when on the
riverbank, by his clothes, he saw a very angry lady hippo in a polka dot
bikini, fuming mad, and covering her giggling children's eyes. Will never
understood how they always got parts on children's television shows. They
were really very vicious.
"Pervert!" she screamed, as she charged into the water after him. He had no
choice, but to make to the other side, and take off into town leaving his
clothing behind. He ran so fast his legs became wheels, and he sped across
the water like a car driving across the road. When he finally managed to
slow down, he realized he was in the center of town.
"Oh shit!" Will thought aloud, as he looked down to see the just how
exposed he was. He quickly ducked into a nearby alley way, and began
sifting through the items on the clothesline, but found that they were all
a little feminine for his taste. He tried the next alley, and the next few
after that, but every time, came up short on his expectations for proper
male attire. "Why does the universe want to get me in a dress so bad!" he
screamed to the heavens. Eight thousand miles above his head, God looked at
a nearby angel, and shrugged as if to say, "I don't know."
"What are you doing back here?" yelled a police dog down the alley.
"Why me?" Will thought aloud, before running off, leaving nothing but a
puff of smoke in his wake. The police dog chased him all around town, and
he noticed, no matter where he hid, the dog would just sniff a bit, know
exactly where he was, and he'd have to make a break for it, all over again.
"I've got an idea, but I don't want to try it," he said, as he dipped into
the nearest women's boutique. He moved through the aisles with such speed,
that nobody saw anything but a flash, as a blurred figure grabbed a few
random items off the shelf, and running into the dressing room, leaving
ruined hairdos in it's wake.
"First things first," Will thought, as he took the sample bottle of
perfume, and emptied it's contents all over his body, "Please don't be to
girly." he said as he looked through the bundle of cloth to see what he had
procured. The disappointment on his face was evident.
"Excuse me miss," the police dog said, "but have you seen a strange naked
fellow running around these parts."
"No sir, I haven't," the heavily made up pig said, twirly her long golden
locks, and chewing her bubblegum.
"I'll take a look around, just to be safe," the dog said, before walking
through racks, sniffing each one.
"Whatever," the pig said, returning to her magazine. Just then a buxom
figure, in a white dress, with black polka dots, a tight fitting bodice,
and a short loose flowy skirt, walked out of the dressing room, in her
black and white strapped, cork wedges. She was wearing a head scarf, draped
loosely over her blond locks, tied around her neck in a bow, and she hid
her face behind a pair oversized Jackie-O sunglasses. She was just about to
make it out the door, when suddenly, the pig said, "Excuse me miss. You're
going to have to pay for that."
"Hold on just a minute!" the dog said, as he ran over, and pulled the bow
loose, and yanked off the sunglasses, revealing a very frightened Will.
"Someone just threw a stick!" Will yelled, pointing to the back of the
store. The dog turned to look, and ran off, while Will ran out of the store
at full speed, meanwhile, the pig sat quietly, smacking her gum, and
thumbing through her magazine.
Out in the street, Will took a deep breath, and tried to take a moment to
take in his situation. The moment was short lived however, as he looked up
to see a semi-truck, speeding down the street toward him. "Not Again!" read
the sign that Will held above his head, before POW, and he was rolling down
the street with nothing to stop him, but the brick wall at the end of the
road.
Will slowly regained consciousness, and it took him a few moments to
realize that his head was stuck through the wall of an apartment. "I know
this place," he thought aloud, as he tried to shoo the birds that were
circling his head away. He tried with all his might to pull himself from
the wall, but found it was no use. He hung his head in resignation, only to
see his best friend Thomas' little sister staring him straight in the face,
teddy bear in hand.
"Hi Will," the little girl said, before sticking her thumb in her mouth.
"Hey...you," Will couldn't remember the little girls name to save his life.
"Go find your brother. Tell him I need his help. Go. Go. What are you
doing?"
The little girl reached into a nearby makeup box, and pulled out a bright
red lipstick, which she promptly used to give Will's lips a nice fresh
coat. "Christina! What are you doing?" a teenage girl asked, suddenly
entering the room.
Will had never been so happy to see another person in his life. "Hey
Rachael. I got stuck in your wall, don't ask me how, and this little brat
started to put lipstick on me."
"Don't call my sister a little brat, Will!" Rachael yelled, as flames began
to burn inside her pupils. "She was just trying to help, isn't that right
sweetie?"
"Yeah. I was just trying to help him be pretty," Christina said, with a
wicked gleam in her eye.
"And you were doing such a good job. Here, let me help too."
"Wait! No! No! C'mon!" Will yelled, but his objections could do little to
stop the girls warpath. It didn't take longs, and he now sported dark smoky
eyes, long dark curled lashes, blushed cheeks, and shiny ruby red lips.
They even pulled his hair back into a nineteen fifties style, curly
ponytail, with a bouffant top, tied off with a big red bow, and little
curled bangs sitting softly on his forehead, above his newly re-arched
eyebrows. "Ow!" Will yelled, as Rachael practically stabbed him in the face
with a eyeliner pencil, just above the lip, creating a faux beauty mark.
"Thom, your friends here, and he could use a little help!" Rachael yelled,
walking out of the room, with Christina in hand, laughing hysterically.
"What have we here?" Thomas said, as he turned the corner into the room.
Thomas' family was a little villainous, but Thomas took the cake, when it
came to cocky assholes. He idolized Snidely Whiplash, and even tried to
grow a mustache to emulate his hero, but even in his twenties puberty had
somehow not caught up with him, so he sort of drew one in it's place with a
pen. To sum it up, he looked every bit the ridiculous douche he was. The
only reason that he and Will were friends, is because Will was too lazy to
get to know any descent people.
"Your sisters thought this was hilarious. Can you get me out of here
already?"
"No prob bud. First things first though," Thomas took his sweet time,
snapping picture and picture on his phone, before replacing it in his
pocket. "Wait till the guys see this."
Will had been at it all day, and the stress was starting to show. "C'mon
man, Quit being an asshole, and get me out of here!"
"I said, No prob," Thomas said, before reaching into the closet, and
pulling out a giant boxing glove, and BONK!
"You've got to be kidding me!" Will thought while he was flying over the
nearby buildings, after his friend punched him square in the mouth. He
would have said it aloud, but his lips were swollen shut, and were now
occupying most of the lower half of his face. It seemed to take forever
until gravity took effect, and he found himself plummeting to the street.
Just as he was sure he was about to experience his four hundredth near
death experience, he was first pleasantly surprised, and the not so
pleasantly disappointed, to find he had landed in the arms of a familiar
face.
"Willamina honey. It's been too long. I thought I'd lost you, when you
never called but here you are!" the wolf said, before planting a giant
smooch on the inflated lips of our hero. "I knew you'd come back to me.
Let's get married today. I'll see you at the chapel. Don't you worry about
a thing. I'll have everything ready."
Just as the wolf sped off on his bike, Will forced his mouth open with a
scream so loud, it cracked the glass in the Hubble Telescope. "I've had
enough today! I'm going home!" His heavily slouched trudge was in stark
contrast to the feminine beauty that made it's way down the street.
A little while later, he finally stepped off the elevator, onto his floor,
to find that his apartment door, had been replaced with a vault door, with
"Former Property of Fort Knox" stamped on the front. He beat on the door,
and yelled, and screamed, but despite his efforts, either Megan wasn't
letting him in, or she wasn't home. Shedding a tear, he returned to the
streets, and restarted his trudging.
"Why do I deserve this?" he thought to himself, as he made his way nowhere.
"Well I guess I did forget her birthday. And Valentines day. And Christmas.
And my birthday. She worked really hard on that party. I may not be such a
good guy. I need to know if I should be changing my life. If you're out
there, give me a sign!" he yelled to the heavens, before realizing he was
standing next to a church. "Good sign!" he said, giving the sky a thumbs
up, before stepping through the arched door ways.
"Oh my word, you're so late," came a voice, from next to the doorway.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," he said, as Gabby the cow, seemed to
come from nowhere, and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him into a nearby
dressing room.
"How have you been? I know you still owe me that money for the makeover,
but we'll call it a wedding present. Where are you two honeymooning? Did
you loose weight? I lost four pounds. My mom has this thing now, where
she..," It was all Will could do to catch his breath, as the flurry of
powders clouded up the room.
"Gabby...wait...hang on...I..," After a few minutes the smoke cleared up,
and Will found himself staring at a very different reflection in the
mirror. He was wearing a virginal white wedding dress, with huge poofy
sleeves, a sweetheart neckline, and a very tight bodice, that gorgeously
showed off his very flattering, and yet very fake feminine figure. The
skirt had to be held out by at least three petticoats, and he could only
guess that the lingerie he felt under his dress, was the same bright white
as the rest of his outfit. His makeup was perfect, and went well with the 2
foot high pile of curls on top of his head, capped off by a thin white
veil.
"You really are the most beautiful thing," Gabby said, as she
unceremoniously pushed him through the nearby door, and out into the
cathedral. The organ started playing the familiar bridal march, and with
the exit behind him blocked, Will started down the aisle, slower than
anyone in the history of time. He was grateful for the white pumps he was
wearing, because if he didn't have them, he would have tripped over the
elegant display of bouffantery that tortuously encircled him. When he
finally made it to the alter. He was praying for an anvil to fall on him at
any moment.
The old tortoise minister took forever to get through his welcoming, and
Will took the time to access his escape route. In looking for doors, he
noticed everyone he had encountered in the past few weeks, plus a few
hundred more sitting in the pews. "I don't even know this many people," he
thought, before he noticed Megan, sitting in the front row, doing nothing
to hide her laughter.
Just as his attention returned to the minister, he heard him say, "If
anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now, or
forever hold your peace."
"I object!" Will shouted, as the audience simultaneously gasp in unison. "I
don't even really know you. You don't know me. I'm not in love with you.
I've never been in love with you. You're the furthest thing from my type.
Not to mention the weird wolf human babies we'd have. You smell bad. You're
ugly. You never ask permission before you kiss me. And most of all, I'm in
love with someone else," You could have heard a pin drop in Toledo.
Will walked to the front row, and took Megan by the hands. "I love you
Megan. I think the reason all this bad shit has been happening to me, is
because I might have been a huge ass. I'm sorry. I want to get a job, and I
want to help around the house. I want to do whatever I have to to get you
back. Will you marry me?"
She looked deep into his eyes, and knew he was ready. It looked like he'd
finally had enough. "Yes!" she nearly squealed.
"Hang on a minute! This was supposed to be our happy day," the wolf yelled,
rudely interrupting their awkwardly beautiful moment. Will reached into his
fake cleavage, and pulled out a stick of dynamite, before shoving it in the
wolf's mouth like a cigar, and lighting it. KABOOM! All that was left, was
a pile of ashes, a tuxedo, two rings, and an angry looking pair of eyes.
Megan, feeling a bit cheeky, scooped up the rings, put on the tuxedo, and
walked Will to the alter. "You people have anger management issues," the
pile of ashes said, before the janitor promptly swept them up, and dumped
them in the trashcan.
"I don't know if I can do a lesbian wedding," the old tortoise said.
Suddenly from off screen a giraffe stuck his head in, and said, "We're
Episcopalian, so it should be okay."
"Right right then. Do you..."
"I do," Will said, squeezing Megan's hands tightly.
"And do you..."
"I do," Megan said, grabbing Will by the butt cheeks, and pulling him in
closely.
"Then I now pronounce you...wives I guess. You may kiss the brides."
As the two kissed, the crowd went wild, as hats, shoes, underpants, and
meat products, were tossed into the air. The newlyweds walked together down
the aisle, and just before exiting, Will tossed his bouquet into the air
behind him, only to have it land in the arms of his best friend Thomas.
"If you're next to be married, you're going to need a makeover before
entering the dating game," Gabby said, to a terrified Thomas, before
chasing him out of the church and down the street. The screen then faded to
black, and the music played while the credits rolled.
Just as the the credit ended, across the bottom of the black screen, Thomas
came running, looking ever so fabulous with his hair teased into a giant,
neck length. black flip, with a little red bow set just behind the bangs,
where his dark hair began it's ascent. He was wearing a bright floral
print, tight fitting, thigh length skirt, a blue cardigan covering a
greatly enhanced bosom, white patterned tights, and red ballet wedges. With
that stupid mustache erased, and Gabby's expert makeup skills, he looked
very reminiscent of Riverdale's famous Veronica Lodge.
Gabby of course, followed behind him, yelling something about E-harmony,
before stopping in the middle of the screen, and saying "That's all folks."
The End.
Lesley
- 07.11.2020
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