Laura, Part 3 free porn video

"...And that's about it for this half of the term!" Mrs. Ford says, prompting everyone in the class to whisper excitedly and put away their textbooks. "See you all in a week!" "So cool!" Nicole enthuses as we leave the classroom. "One down, twenty-nine to go!" Suriya laughs. I force a laugh out of my mouth, but it's not a sincere one. Unlike virtually every kid in the school, though, I would give anything to be able to attend lessons next week. And it's not just so I can hang out with the four closest friends I've ever met, it's not just so I can wear the skirt I've worn to school every day since I started, and it's not even so I can continue to learn from my teachers... It's so can I can avoid the conflict I know will be waiting for me at home. Not that there haven't been conflicts at school. Whilst I thankfully haven't experienced the same kind of horror I experienced during my second week, things haven't been perfect despite my friends' best efforts. What's most surprising, however, is that most of the bullying has come from girls, rather than boys. After Declan & his friend's suspension and being threatened with a skirt- something that would have been a dream come true for me mere months ago- the boys have left me completely alone, sometimes even sticking up for me. Harriet, however, continues to torment me whenever she gets the chance and feels that she could get away with it. In art class I've had paint 'accidentally' flicked on my tights, in hockey I've had her 'accidentally' hit me in the thigh with a hockey stick- though it was obvious what she was really aiming for- and throughout the school day, whenever she catches sight of me and know that I can see her, she'll whisper something- possibly without actually saying anything- to a nearby girl, then point in my direction and giggle. What's most upsetting isn't the teasing- I'm slowly but surely getting used to that- it's the fact that during the first week at school, Harriet was one of my closest friends. Mum's said she's spoken to Harriet's dad about it but it doesn't seem to make much difference- if anything, it's only made it worse. It's not like I'm doing any harm to Harriet, or going out of my way to antagonise her- but that doesn't seem to be good enough for her or for her father. Thankfully, I do have real friends I can rely on at school and outside of school. Nicole, Priya, Suriya and myself continue to study ballet at Miss Fullerton's school, and after seeing the photograph of the four of us in our leotards last month, Megan's finally given in and signed up as well! Every Saturday we seem to all be at one of our houses- usually Nicole's or Priya & Suriya's- listening to music, experimenting with make-up, creating our own little dance routines... This weekend, Nicole's promised to do our nails for half term! Despite the hard times, since September my whole life has been like a dream... ...A dream I'm being forced to wake up from this coming week, as my brother returns on leave from the Army. Ricky doesn't know about my change yet, and given that he's open about the fact that he wants me to join the Army- or any of the armed forces- when I'm older, coming home to see me dressed in a skirt and wearing nail polish is going to destroy his illusions... And may destroy my life. "Hi Laura," mum says as I get into her car, smoothing my skirt underneath me as I sit down in the passenger seat. "Looking forward to half-term?" "No," I moan. "I know, I know, it's going to be difficult," mum sighs. "But it's only one week. And you never know- Ricky might be supportive of your new life." "Yeah, right," I say. "When's he getting home?" "Ten, tomorrow morning," mum says. "It'll give me time to talk to him, then you can talk to him before you go round Nicole's, okay?" "Okay," I say nervously. At home, I head upstairs and strip off my uniform, staring in my mirror at my body clad in only my vest and panties. Even though my hair is still short (though it's been growing for the last 3 months), I do look like an ordinary 11 year old girl. After pulling on a long-sleeved top, a ruffled knee-length skirt and a pair of black leggings, the look becomes even more convincing. Anyone on the street looking at me would believe that I was a girl- but it's not someone on the street that I need to convince. I spend the rest of the day getting a head start on my homework before heading to be just after 9pm. However, I hardly get any sleep, and am wide awake when my alarm clock goes off at 8am. After showering and getting dressed in a long-sleeved top, black tights and my favourite black skirt, I head downstairs to find an unexpected family member waiting for me- though this surprise is very much a pleasant one. "Hello, Laura!" Grandma says, coming over to give me a very welcome hug. "Hi grandma," I say. "What are you doing here?" "Your mum called me and explained that you were going to tell Ricky about your change today," grandma says. "I thought you might want a little moral support!" "Thank you," I say, smiling warmly at the elderly woman. "Come on," grandma says. "We'll go into the kitchen whilst your mum talks to your brother." I follow grandma into the kitchen and entertain her with tales of school, friends and ballet- even dancing a few steps, much to her delight! I almost forget about the confrontation that is to come, until a knock on the door at 9:45 makes my legs turn to jelly. "Don't panic!" Grandma says. "Just take a deep breath, your mum will explain everything. You started this day as a girl, and by god that's how you're going to end it!" I nod nervously, taking several deep breaths to get my emotions under control. "That's better," grandma says. "Now, show me some more of those dance steps of yours!" I dutifully dance more steps for grandma, but within five minutes, I hear my mother's voice calling me through from the kitchen. With grandma placing a comforting hand on my shoulders, I step out into the lounge and stare deep into the stoic face of my brother, sat on the sofa in his army fatigues. "Say hello to your sister, Ricky," mum says firmly. What happens next nearly breaks my heart. "No," Ricky says flatly. "Because he's not my sister, he's my brother." "Laura has made the decision to live her life as a girl," grandma explains. "You can't just 'decide' something like that," Ricky says, actually laughing at the situation. "He was born a boy, and that's what he is." "The doctors would disagree with you there," mum says smugly, handing Ricky my written diagnosis of gender dysphoria. Ricky, however, rips it in half without even reading it. "Anyone can write anything on a piece of paper and say it's true," Ricky argues. "That doesn't mean it actually is true." "Richard White!" Grandma scolds. "You were not raised as a bigot!" "No, I was raised as a boy," Ricky scoffs. "Something you seem to have forgotten how to do." "If Laura wanted to live her life as a boy, she would live her life as a boy," mum says, clearly getting angry with her son. "She chose to live life as a girl, and we have respected her wishes, and you will do the same!" "No I won't," Ricky says flippantly. "Because it's not normal, and it's not right. If he'd said 'I want to live life as a dog', would you have let him?" "That argument doesn't even make any sense," grandma sneers. "You're not an idiot," mum sighs. "You know that there are people in the world who choose to live their life as the opposite gender to the one they were born into. Like that woman who directed the Matrix- one of your favourite films, need I remind you- or that Burke girl who's always on TV." "Yeah," Ricky nods. "And if saw either of those people on the street I'd probably punch them for what they are." "RICKY!" Grandma snaps. "Leon deserves to be punched in the face for what he is," Ricky states bluntly, bringing tears to my eyes. "It's a miracle you haven't got him beaten up every day at secondary school or worse, and it's only a matter of time before he comes home in an ambulance." "The whole world is not as closed-minded and as bigoted as you," mum growls. "And Laura- and that is HER name, LAURA- most certainly does not deserve to be punched in the face, EVER. You apologise to her right now!" "No," Ricky sneers. "If anything, she's the one who should be apologising to me!" "Laura has nothing to be sorry for!" Grandma snaps. "She is a kind, sweet girl who deserves better from one of the people who should be supporting her the most!" "LEON is living a fantasy, and you're endangering him by letting him carry on with this farce," Ricky retorts, anger finally seeping onto his face. "Frankly I ought to call social services on both of you now." "GET OUT!" Grandma snaps. Ricky, knowing better than to argue with the fierce woman, stoically picks himself off the sofa and leaves- but he leaves his kit in the hallway, meaning that he'll be back. With my so- called brother gone, I collapse into floods of tears and have to be helped to the sofa by mum and grandma. "There there," the elderly woman says soothingly. "Let it out. And remember- you're never too big for a cuddle from your grandma. You only THINK you're too big!" I giggle as I dry my eyes and try to forget about what just happened. After an hour of being comforted by the two most important women in my life, grandma offers to drive me to Nicole's- an offer I gratefully accept. "Did you tell me you were having your nails done today?" Grandma asks, and I nod in response. "Good, I do hope you'll show me them before the end of half term!" I let out a small giggle at grandma's request. "Of course," I say happily. "Assuming Ricky doesn't make me wash it all off..." "Don't you do a single thing that boy says!" Grandma says firmly. "Your brother's in desperate need of an attitude adjustment, and if he doesn't get one by the end of the week, I'll give it to him!" I giggle again at the amazing elderly woman's strength of character. "Hi Laura!" Nicole squeaks excitedly, giving me a quick hug as I enter her modest house. "Megan's already here, Priya & Suriya should be over in a bit. Are you excited? This is the first time you'll have worn nail polish, right?" "Right!" I say, excited by the prospect of the nail treatment but still worried about the reaction it'll get from my brother. "Hey Laura!" Megan says with a smile as I enter the kitchen and gasp in awe at the multicoloured bottles of nail polish on the counter. "Aww," I sigh. "This looks so cool!" "It is," Megan replies. "Just a pity we can't wear nail polish at school..." "So we're going to have to make the most of it during the holidays!" Nicole announces smugly. "Laura, as it's your first ever manicure, you can go first!" "Shouldn't we wait for Priya and Suriya to get here?" I ask. "Nah," Nicole says, "they won't mind. Now come on!" Almost shaking with excitement, I sit down and hold out my hands for Nicole, who expertly covers my fingernails in a pale red polish before placing a stencil over each nail and adding three tiny white hearts to each one! As Nicole finishes with my last nail, the kitchen door opens and Priya and Suriya enter, giggling excitedly at the strong smell of the polish. "Ooh, ooh, show me!" Suriya asks. Still giggling, I show my friends my new nails, and for a second, all my problems melt away as though they were nothing. Everything Ricky said earlier was wrong, dead wrong. I AM a girl, at least in the eyes of my friends. Their opinions matter to me- Ricky's doesn't. Suriya and Priya are next to receive the treatment- getting black nails with pink hearts- followed by Megan, who opts for a neon pink polish with no hearts, and finally Nicole, who paints each nail a different colour, like a rainbow! After our nails have dried we spend the rest of the day listening to music, dancing, flicking through Nicole's extensive magazine collection, before the time finally comes for me to return home, courtesy of Megan's mum- who can't stop commenting on how pretty our nails are! "Mum, I'm home," I say happily as I walk through the door, before my hearts leaps into my throat at the sight of Ricky, who is once again sat on the sofa in the living room. "Did you have fun at Nicole's?" Mum asks, either unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge my tension at being in the same room as my brother. "Yes," I say, sitting down and trying to avoid the gaze that's burning a hole in my skull. "Show me your nails!" Mum says excitedly. Still nervous- almost terrified, in fact- I stand up and show my mother Nicole's creations. "Aw, it looks so cute!" Mum coos. "Show your brother them!" Almost frozen to the spot, all I can do is shake my head. "No, show me," Ricky says calmly. Unable to hold my hands still with nerves, I show Ricky my new nails. To my relief, he just looks them over once, letting out a disinterested grunt before sitting back in his seat. "So," mum says. "Now that your sister's back, tell us what you've been getting up to in the army!" I sit back down on my sofa and listen to Ricky's tales of soldiers, guns and training exercises. Not a single mention is made of my new life, right up to and including the point where I climb into bed just after 9:30pm. I've just huddled under my blankets in my pink nightdress when my door opens and Ricky walks in uninvited, sitting down on the edge of my bed. "Now that mum and grandma aren't here," Ricky says bluntly, "tell me why you're doing this to yourself." "I've always wanted to be a girl," I say, cowering under Ricky's stoic gaze. "No you haven't," Ricky replies. "You were born a boy, that means you want to be a boy. No one will ever accept you as a girl, so you should just give up now and go back to what you're supposed to be." "My friends accept me as a girl," I say defiantly. "They're all 11 year old girls," Ricky snorts. "Their opinion doesn't count for anything." "I'M an 11 year old girl," I retort. "Exactly," Ricky says. "And your opinion doesn't matter for anything either. By the end of half term, Leon, you WILL be a boy again. I'll make sure of it." Before I can retort, Ricky leaves my room and I once again huddle underneath my blankets, only this time, I'm not shivering because of the cold. "Hey Laura!" Megan says to me, reaching out her hand to take mine. Stood next to her are Nicole, Priya and Suriya, all wearing their school uniforms, beckoning me toward them. As I try to step toward them, however, a strong arm wraps itself around my waist, and I'm unable to take even a single step forward. "No," Ricky says, dragging me backwards as my uniform transforms into the shirt and trousers every boy wears. "It's not for you." "NOT. FOR. YOU." Ricky repeats as I wake up with a start. After washing (and taking care not to mess up my new nails), I dress for the day in black tights, a knee-length denim skirt and a glittery pink sweater. Feeling extra defiant, I apply a little mascara before heading downstairs to breakfast where, as before, Ricky simply stares at me as I eat. "So," mum announces, trying to break the tension. "What have you got planned for today, Ricky?" "I just thought I'd hang out at home with my little brother," Ricky says bluntly. "You don't have a little brother," mum retorts, barely suppressing a growl. "I will do again soon," Ricky says confidently. Clearly unhappy, mum turns to me and smiles. "Laura," mum says. "What do you want to do today?" "I dunno," I shrug. "I might see if Megan's free, I know Nicole, Priya and Suriya are busy." "Who's Megan?" Ricky asks. "Is she your girlfriend?" "Stop," mum says firmly. "Just stop, stop now." "What?" Ricky asks incredulously. "He's twelve next month, I wasn't that much older when I had my first girlfriend." "You've met Megan before," I snort at the smug young man. "She used to go to my primary school." "Oh yeah, her," Ricky says. "Have you snogged her yet?" "Shut up," I retort, feeling the anger build inside me- an anger Ricky can seemingly sense. "Oh come on," Ricky laughs. "Have you snogged her yet?" "I said STOP," mum repeats. "Laura, don't answer your brother's question if you don't want to." "Just say yes or no," Ricky says, defiantly ignoring our mother. "Have you snogged her yet?" "No," I answer, futilely hoping this will end my brother's probing. "Why not?" Ricky asks. "Because I don't want to," I reply. "But why not?" Ricky presses further. "I just don't want to!" I squeal, barely suppressing tears. "But why not?" Ricky repeats. "There has to be a reason, she's a girl, and you're a boy, and sooner or later you're going to have to get a girlfriend, why not be the first in your class?" "I'M NOT A BOY!" I scream, making Ricky laugh happily in my face. "ENOUGH!" Mum snaps. "Ricky, apologise for calling your sister a boy." "What?" Ricky says, still laughing from my outburst. "He IS a boy. That's like asking me to apologise to a bird for saying it has wings. He is what he is, and you both need to stop living this fantasy sooner rather than later." "Whatever you have planned for today," mum says, "you won't be doing it around your sister." "I don't HAVE a sister," Ricky retorts smugly. "If I see you aggravating Laura again," mum growls, "you will be spending the rest of your leave in a youth hostel that YOU pay for." "I can't believe you're kicking me out for telling the truth," Ricky chuckles. "I can't believe I raised such a closed-minded, intolerant child," mum says with clear disappointment in her voice. With no comeback, Ricky eats the rest of his breakfast in silence. "Laura," mum says softly. "What do you want to do today?" The way I feel right now, there's only one thing I want to do. "Can we go round grandma's?" I ask meekly, smiling happily when mum nods. Mum and I arrive at grandma's just after 11am, Ricky having opted out of the trip in favour of meeting with old school friends, though it's clear that he really doesn't want to get into another argument he knows he can't win. He'll happily argue with mum all day long, but when it comes to our grandmother, he's a lot less eager! "Don't you look pretty!" Grandma enthuses as we enter her house. "Show me your nails!" Giggling happily, I show grandma my new fingernails, giggling louder and louder as grandma coos over them. "Is Ricky not with you?" "No," mum sighs. "We had another falling out over breakfast, about 'you know what'." "Like I said to Laura yesterday, that boy needs a real attitude adjustment," grandma states. "Guess it's just us girls today, then!" "Yep!" I say happily. "No BOYS allowed!" I spend the rest of the day at grandma's, showing off my new nails, dancing yet more ballet steps for her and for mum and looking through old photo albums. Grandma went into great detail about life as a schoolgirl in the early 1950s, and I hung on every word, especially when mum made comparisons to her school time from the 1980s! When we arrived home, Ricky wasn't present, nor was his kit bag, much to my surprise and relief. After an evening of homework and TV, I change into my nightdress and climb under my sheets, getting ready to go to sleep when, as last night, my door opens, only this time it's mum who sits down on the side of my bed. "Laura," mum says softly. "I know it's not easy having Ricky here, but it is only for one week." "He's never going to accept me as a girl," I sigh, prompting mum to give me a big hug. "Yes he will," mum says. "Like your grandma says, he needs an attitude adjustment. By the end of the week, I'm sure he'll grow to love having a sister." "He said that by the end of the week, he'll have forced me to become a boy again," I whine. "Never going to happen!" Mum says with a confident smile. "Laura, if you ever choose to be a boy again, then I'll support you, but only if it's YOUR choice. And from what I've seen over the last couple of months, you love being a girl, right?" "Right," I nod. "And would you ever want to be a boy again?" Mum asks, and I shake my head in response. "Then you won't be," mum states. "If you want to be a girl for the rest of your life, that's what you'll be, and there's nothing Ricky or anyone else can do about it! Goodnight, Laura." "Goodnight, mum," I say happily as mum switches out my light. "Come on, Princess Laura!" Nicole squeaks happily, taking my gloved hand as she leads me toward the grand ballroom. We're both dressed in long, sparkling gowns and long opera gloves, and we're both dripping with beautiful jewels, including diamond-encrusted tiaras. Ahead of us are Megan- dressed similarly to myself and Nicole- and Priya & Suriya, who are both wearing beautiful saris and golden headdresses, looking every inch the Indian princesses that they are. As I look behind me, I can see Ricky staring at me disapprovingly, but all I have to do is poke a tongue out of my red lips, and he's gone. My alarm clock wakes me up at 7:30am- the time I usually get up for school- and I sigh, wishing I could have remained in that wonderful dream just a little while longer. After washing, I dress in my same jumper from yesterday, only I pull on my longest skirt over my black tights, loving the feeling of it swishing around my legs, just as my princess's dress had in my dream. "Morning!" Mum says happily as I sit down to breakfast, my brother nowhere to be found. "Where's Ricky?" I ask. "He's got plans today and tomorrow, he won't be back until Wednesday afternoon," mum says, and I smile happily. "Good," I say. "I do wish you two would just get on," mum sighs. "I know it's not your fault, but-" "I wish we could too," I say. "But it's HIS fault that we don't." "I know, I know," mum sighs. "What time are Nicole and Megan getting here?" "Some time after 10am," I say. "Mum, for my birthday next month..." "Yes?" Mum asks. "...I want to be a princess," I say. "You ARE a princess," mum says, gently stroking my back. "No, I mean, I want to be a proper princess, just for one day," I say. "I want to wear a sparkly dress, wear make-up..." "You mean like your friends' parties when you were younger?" Mum asks, and I nod. "Well, okay, it might be a little young for you, but then I guess you did miss out on it when you WERE young. How about this: I take you and your friends for makeovers, you wear your poshest dresses, and we have a sort-of 'banquet' at home?" "I don't have any posh dresses," I say sadly. "Well then," mum says with a smile. "I know what your main present's going to be!" I giggle happily as I continue my breakfast. As promised, Nicole and Megan arrive shortly after 10am and we spend the whole day gossiping, listening to music and creating dance routines to Taylor Swift and One Direction. Every time I'm with my friends, I find it easier and easier to forget that I was ever a boy, especially when Nicole applies glittery make-up to our eyelids! When I mention mum's idea for my birthday, however, Nicole gets extra excited. "Oh my god!" Nicole squeaks, putting away her make-up brush. "I had NO idea it was your birthday next month! Why didn't you tell me?" "I was going to invite you to my party!" I laugh. "Figured I'd bring it up next week when we were back at school." "Yeah, but you must've known, right?" Nicole asks Megan. "I'm not in any of your classes!" My oldest friend replies. "I figured you'd already been told!" "Well I HADN'T," Nicole says mock-accusingly. "So we're all getting makeovers and wearing our poshest dresses? It sounds AWESOME!" "It does!" Megan giggles as she takes my place in the 'make-up chair'. "Kinda reminds me of my 9th birthday party..." "I remember that," I sigh. "You and your friends dressed up as princesses, and I had to be Prince Charming..." "Oh, that's just not fair," Nicole says. "You never really had a dress- up party!" "No," I sigh. "But it's okay, I mean, I'll be dressing up on Thursday, right?" I keep my secret desire to be a princess to myself- even though it's clear Nicole would probably approve of the theme. "Yeah, but it's not the same..." Nicole sighs. At the end of the day I'm actually reluctant to wash off my pretty eye make-up, as I am the following day after another girly day with Nicole and Megan, this time at Megan's house. By the time I wake up on Wednesday morning, dressing in glittery black tights, a flared knee-length grey skirt and a rainbow coloured jumper, I'm as immersed in femininity as I've ever been. I practically bounce downstairs to breakfast, but the spring completely leaves my step when I see Ricky sat at the breakfast table, piercing me with his silent, judgemental stare. "Morning, Laura!" Mum says happily. "Your brother's come back early." "Oh," I say, wilting under my brother's constant gaze. "Hi." I try to eat my breakfast, but with my brother's gaze constantly fixed on me, my appetite is virtually non-existent. "What have you got planned for today, Ricky?" Mum asks in a vain effort to defuse the tension. "I thought I'd take Leon for a haircut," Ricky states bluntly, making me nearly vomit my porridge back up. "Laura doesn't need a haircut," mum says. "If anything, HER hair needs to grow out a bit more." "No, his hair's too long," Ricky says dismissively, before turning his gaze back to me. "How short do you want your hair cut?" "I don't want a haircut," I mumble. "Don't be stupid, of course you want a haircut," Ricky says dismissively. "How short do you want it cut, a number 4, a number 2?" "I don't want a haircut," I repeat. "No, you do want a haircut," Ricky states bluntly. "ENOUGH!" Mum snaps. "I don't know why I thought two days away would actually help you think more clearly." "I'm thinking perfectly clearly," Ricky laughs. "You're the one who's stuck in fantasy world. Here's the reality: Leon's a boy, he's always been a boy, will always be a boy, and what's he doing right now is pathetic and dangerous and it NEEDS TO STOP. I'm quite happy to pay for the haircut, it can be my treat to him." "If I hear one more word about a haircut," mum says through gritted teeth, "you will not only spend the rest of this leave in a youth hostel, you'll spend the rest of EVERY leave there as well." This thankfully shuts Ricky up, though his gaze remains fixed on me throughout breakfast. Once I'm finished eating, I make a beeline for the telephone and quickly tap in Nicole's number. "Hello?" Nicole says, answering the phone herself after a few rings. "Hi Nicole!" I say, mustering up as much enthusiasm as I could. "Are you doing anything today?" "Ah, sorry Laura," Nicole says, making my heart sink. "My parents are taking me to see my aunt and uncle... I'll see you tonight at ballet though!" I put on a brave face despite my disappointment. "Cool!" I say happily. "I'll see you then!" After Nicole hangs up, I immediately dial Megan's number. "Hello?" The older female voice- obviously Megan's mum- says. "Hello," I say politely. "Can I speak to Megan please? It's Laura." "Oh, Hi Laura," Megan's mum says. "I'm sorry, but Megan's not available to talk, we're about to go out shopping for her ballet uniform. She's very excited to be joining you girls tonight!" "Oh," I say disappointedly. "Can- can I come along, please?" "That's a kind offer," Megan's mother says, "but we have a lot to do today, I'm afraid." "Oh, well please tell Megan I'll see her tonight!" I say. "Will do!" Megan's mum says, before hanging up the phone. Sighing, I dial Priya & Suriya's number. "Hello, Malik residence," the sisters' father says. "Hello Mr. Malik," I say. "Oh, hello Laura!" The kind Indian gentleman says. "If you're wanting to speak to Priya or Suriya, I'm afraid they're both busy helping prepare the house for Diwali, so they won't be able to play with you today." "Oh," I say. Priya & Suriya were my last hopes- I obviously can't call Harriet, and there's absolutely no way I can spend the whole day in the house with Ricky. "Can-" I begin. "Can I help out? Can I join in, please?" "Of course you can!" Mr. Malik says happily. "Provided your mother approves, of course, but would you really rather come and do housework than stay at home and play?" "I would, yes," I say with a smile. "Your mother has a very good daughter!" Mr. Malik says with a laugh. "We'll be at home all day: drop round when you can." I smile and head back into the kitchen, standing tall despite Ricky's withering gaze. "Priya and Suriya have invited me around to their house," I half-lie. "Can you drive me there before work, please?" "What about your haircut?" Ricky asks, clearly hurt that I've chosen not to spend my day with him. "Of course I can!" Mum says happily, disregarding Ricky's upset tone of voice. "But what about his haircut?" Ricky asks. "If you want a haircut that badly, YOU get one," mum says smugly as I run upstairs to put on my shoes and coat. Less than half an hour later, I arrive at the Mailks' posh house to be greeted with hugs by both Priya and Suriya, both of whom are wearing dark red bindis on their foreheads in addition to plain (yet still beautiful) turquoise saris. "Hi Laura!" Priya says excitedly. "Dad says you want to help us prepare the house for Diwali, is this right?" "Yep," I say with a smile. "Really?" Suriya asks. "Because if I had my choice, it's not how I'd choose to spend half term..." "Well..." I say with a sigh. "My brother's come home for the week from the army, and I really don't want to spend time around him." "Oh no, that's so sad," Priya says. "Do you not love him?" "I... I don't know," I say. "I mean, he's my brother, I want to love him, but he's such an arrogant idiot. He completely refuses to acknowledge that I'm a girl." "Has he not seen your nails?" Suriya asks with a giggle. "He's just physically incapable of accepting that he's wrong," I moan as I follow the girls to Priya's bedroom and start tidying it up. After seeing Priya dressed in her exotic clothes, it's almost a shock to discover that her bedroom is just as untidy as that of any other pre- teen girl's, with posters hanging off the walls and cosmetics randomly scattered about the room. "Our brother is like that sometimes," Suriya laughs. "How old is your brother?" "Twenty," I reply. "He's been in the army two years, I don't think he'd suit any other lifestyle." "Our brother's seventeen," Suriya explains. "Just started at a science college. Used to tease us both constantly when we were younger." "How did he grow out of it?" I ask. "I don't think he ever did, or ever will," Priya laughs. "But we love him nonetheless. You know, the final day of Diwali is the Bhai Dooj. That's a day when brothers and sisters renew their love for each other." "How do you do that?" I ask, genuinely fascinated by the festival. "We get presents!" Suriya says excitedly. "It's a bit more than that," Priya laughs. "Mohan blesses us both before giving us presents, and we pray for him and apply a tilak- a mark like a bindi, but different- to his forehead." "It sounds so cool," I sigh. "I wish I was Hindu..." "You can celebrate Diwali even if you're not Hindu," Priya says with a smile. "We get presents at Christmas, but we're obviously not Christians!" "Priya's birthday is December 3rd, so she gets two whole months' worth of presents!" Suriya jokes. "I... Somehow doubt my brother would go for that," I laugh. "Have you asked him?" Priya asks, and I shake my head. "When does he go back to the army?" "Wednesday," I sigh. "The Bhai Dooj is Tuesday, Bonfire Night," Priya explains. "Dad's holding a big fireworks display on Sunday and on Tuesday. You should come along." "I'll even lend you my sari again!" Suriya says. "I still doubt he'll go for it," I sigh. "Then don't tell him it's for the Bhai Dooj!" Priya laughs. "Tell him it's a fireworks display!" I smile wickedly as I remember Ricky tricking me into my haircut back in the summer- I can't think of any better way to take revenge for that. "Okay," I say with a smile. "I'll be there!" "Girls!" Mr. Malik calls from downstairs. "Rajkumariyom! Time for lunch!" "What did he say?" I ask as I follow the sisters down to the kitchen. "Raj...?" "Rajkumariyom," Priya says with a smile. "It means 'princesses'." "Aww," I say with a smile as I take my seat for lunch. Even though we're doing housework, I'm happier spending the day with the Maliks than I ever would have been at home with Ricky- which is where Mr. Malik drops me off at 4pm. I gulp as see from the lack of car in the driveway that mum isn't home yet. "See you tonight for ballet!" Priya says, waving along with her sister as their father drives them home. "Hi Leon," Ricky says as I walk through the door. "Did you get your haircut?" "My name's Laura," I say defiantly. "And no I didn't." "Well that's okay," Ricky says, brandishing a pair of scissors. "If you sit down, I can cut it for you now." "NO!" I say, already starting to get upset. "Well it's going to need to get cut eventually," Ricky says, laughing at my unhappiness. "Why not do it sooner rather than later?" Unable to respond to my brother, I simply head upstairs into my bedroom, pushing my bed against the door to prevent Ricky from entering until mum arrives home just under an hour later. "Hi Laura," mum says as I head down the stairs to greet her. "Did you have fun with Priya and Suriya?" "Yeah," I say with a smile. "It was really good hanging out with them today." "And it's your big Halloween party tomorrow too!" Mum enthuses. "Have you decided on your costume yet?" "You should go as a soldier," Ricky says, earning disapproving stares from both myself and our mother. "I might just wear my ballet gear," I say. "Think that's what Megan's doing." "Why do you do ballet?" Ricky asks. "Because I enjoy it," I say. "Yeah, but why?" Ricky asks with a shrug. "Don't start this again," mum orders. "Your sister has a hobby she enjoys doing, you had similar hobbies when you were twelve." "When I was twelve I joined the army cadets," Ricky states bluntly. "Exactly," mum says. "It's hardly the same thing," Ricky snorts. "The cadets helped me prepare for a career, before that I was in the scouts and learned useful skills. The only thing you learn from ballet is how to look silly prancing around in a tutu all day." "That's not true!" I shout defensively. "Yeah, it is," Ricky laughs dismissively, sensing my irritation. "You've never had a dance lesson in your life," mum says to my older brother. "You have no idea what Laura or anyone else would learn from it!" "Tell you what," Ricky says, sitting back smugly. "How about I come along to Leon's lesson today, and you show me exactly how it's helping him gain necessary life skills?" My first instinct is to shudder- the thought of Ricky ruining my lesson is almost too much to bear, but then I remember that my teacher isn't the type of woman who would allow herself to be cowed by an idiot like Ricky. "Okay," I say, taking both mum and Ricky by surprise. "Are- are you sure?" Mum asks. "Yeah, why not?" I say with a smile that, for probably the first time in my life, catches Ricky off guard. After dinner I head upstairs to change into my pink ballet tights, my light blue leotard, my light blue dance skirt and my canvas ballet slippers, before pulling on a light blue dance cardigan and skipping down the stairs to where my mother and brother are waiting. Needless to see, when Ricky sees me dressed as a ballerina, his disapproving stare becomes more intense than ever, but he says nothing as mum drives us both to the dance studio, picking up Megan and Nicole on the way. "First lesson today!" I say to Megan, who's giggling with excitement. "Yep!" Megan says with a wide grin. "I'm really looking forward to it... Now all five of us are ballerina buddies!" "Yay!" Nicole cheers, also fidgeting excitedly. In the front seat, I see Ricky open his mouth as though he was about to say something, but a stern glare from mum immediately closes his mouth again. Once we arrive at the studio we're greeted by Priya and Suriya, who are both as excited as myself and Nicole by Megan's first lesson- though obviously not as excited as Megan herself! I can't help but be surprised too by how different the sisters look in their ballet uniforms when compared to earlier in the day, especially with their long, thick black hair scraped back into severe ballerina buns. "Hey girls, love all of your nails!" Miss Fullerton says. "You're Megan Cartman, right?" Megan nods, still giggling excitedly. "It's great that you could join us," the tall dance teacher continues. "And great that you have four friends who could help you up the waiting list! I'll be working with you today to get you up to speed. Have you ever taken ballet before?" "Yeah, but I stopped when I was eight," Megan explains. "Aww, that's such a pity, you look so happy to be here!" Miss Fullerton coos. "I am," Megan says, smiling at the four of us, smiles we happily return. "Miss Fullerton," I say nervously. "My brother's come to watch today, is that okay?" The tall dance teacher looks at my brother nonchalantly, before shrugging her shoulders. "As long as he stays out of trouble, it's okay," she says with a giggle, before ushering the five of us- along with the rest of the class- into the studio, my mother and brother following closely afterwards to take a seat at the side of the class. "That's your brother?" Suriya whispers as we take our places at the barre. "He doesn't look so terrible..." "Just wait until he opens his mouth," I whisper back as Miss Fullerton starts a music track on her laptop, officially beginning the class. Sixty minutes later, after we've danced our hearts out, Ricky approaches me with a smug smirk on his face. "Actually I can see why you'd come here," my brother says. "I'd want to have your teacher too." "Ricky!" Mum snaps. "That is a completely inappropriate thing to say to an 11 year old girl!" "What?" Ricky protests. "It's not like he doesn't know what sex is." Almost as if she'd sensed what we were talking about, my dance teacher approaches us with a smug grin of her own. "Hi," Miss Fullerton says, extending a perfectly manicured hand. "You must be Laura's brother. She's not talked much about you." "Oh, you must be confused," Ricky says. "He's not a girl, he's a boy pretending to be a girl." I almost wince at the evil look that fills Miss Fullerton's eyes, before remembering that everything that is about to happen, Ricky brought on himself. "SHE is living her life as a girl," Miss Fullerton says smugly. "SHE has a signed document stating that SHE is a girl trapped in a boy's body." Not strictly true, but close enough, I guess. "Yeah, well I ripped that document up, which means that HE's now a boy," Ricky scoffs. "Oh, so you're a vandal as well as a bigot?" Miss Fullerton asks, her smirk completely disarming Ricky's. "No, I'm living in the REAL WORLD," Ricky states, clearly irritated by the tall girl's dismissal of his argument. "You're the ones living in a fantasy land." "Yeah, well your 'real world'," Miss Fullerton continues, making exaggerated air quotes, "went extinct at around the same time my grandparents were my age. You're welcome to join us in the 'real world' of 2013 any time you want." "It doesn't matter what year it is," Ricky scoffs. "You can't simply say one day 'I'm a girl' and expect everyone to accept that." "Except I HAVE accepted it," Miss Fullerton retorts with her widest possible smile. "Her mum's accepted it, her grandmother's accepted it, her friends have accepted it, her school's accepted it... Seems like you're the odd one out here, which means that YOU'RE the one living in fantasy world!" "If you weren't a woman, I would punch you in the face," Ricky sneers. "Oh, so you're a thug in addition to a bigot, a vandal and a bully?" Miss Fullerton asks. "It's a wonder you came from the same DNA as an amazing girl like Laura." Much to my horror, Ricky then draws back a clenched fist, but Miss Fullerton simply stands there, unfazed. "Go ahead, brave man!" Miss Fullerton laughs. Much to my relief, Ricky lowers his fist before storming out of the dance studio, his cheeks burning under the stares of the assembled students and parents. Immediately as he's gone, my dance teacher nearly doubles over, panting heavily following the confrontation. "Oh god," Miss Fullerton says as mum and Mr. Malik help her to a chair. "I honestly thought for a second he would..." "I am so, so sorry," mum grovels. "I don't know what came over him, I've never been so ashamed..." "It's fine," Miss Fullerton says, still visibly shaking. "He's an adult. At least LEGALLY an adult, he knew what he was doing. Obviously if he shows up here again I'm calling the police." "That's understandable," mum says. "Can I get you anything?" "Yeah, can you get me a chocolate bar, please?" Miss Fullerton asks. "Think I can feel a hypoglycemia attack coming on..." "Laura, go and get a Snickers bar," Mum says, handing me a pound coin. "Uh, not Snickers," Miss Fullerton says. "Peanut allergy. Anything else without nuts is fine. I'll pay you back when I get back to my desk." "Nonsense," mum says, dismissing me and the rest of the girls to the vending machine. "It's my son's fault, I should pay for it..." "You weren't kidding about your brother," Priya mutters as I buy a Mars bar from the vending machine. "I've never seen him THAT bad," I say quietly. "My change must have really affected him..." "Well that's HIS problem," Nicole says firmly. "If he can't accept that you're a girl, then HE has no place in this 'real world' he keeps talking about!" "His 'real world' is basically the army and nothing else," I whine. "Are you still coming to the Bhai Dooj bonfire?" Suriya asks in a small, trembling voice. "I don't know," I sigh, shaking my head. "You're still coming to Halloween tomorrow, right?" Nicole asks, bringing a smile back to my face. "Of course!" I grin as we head back to our stricken dance teacher. "Never been trick or treating before..." "Thanks," Miss Fullerton says, taking the chocolate from me and quickly tucking into it. "Fast metabolisms are great for being a model, not great for confrontations with angry family members..." "Again, I am so, so sorry," mum says. "If there's anything I can do, just let me know." "Just one thing," Miss Fullerton says, the colour returning to her cheeks. "Make sure your amazing daughter never leaves this class!" I leave the class with a smile on my face, but the smile disappears as I see Ricky sat in the passenger seat of mum's car, still furious from his 'incident'. "I'll take Nicole and Megan home," Mr. Malik says softly, ushering my four friends into his people carrier. Silently, mum and I get into our car and drive away, but we barely get out of sight of the studio when Ricky speaks up. "I can't believe you'd humiliate me like that, Leon," Ricky spits. Almost immediately, the car screeches to a halt. "Out," mum orders. "Mum's telling you to get out, Leon," Ricky says smugly. "You'd better do as she says." "YOU!" Mum snaps, turning to my brother. "Out, now. Find a youth hostel as you will not be welcome in my house tonight." With a shocked expression on his face, Ricky exits the car, staring at us in disbelief as we drive away. "Will- will he be okay?" I ask, staring at my receding brother in the rear windscreen. "He's constantly telling us about how the army's trained him to survive," mum spits. "He'll be fine." Mum keeps a steely look on her face all the way home, but once we get through the front door, she almost immediately breaks down crying. "Mum?" I ask in a tiny voice. "Are- are you okay?" "No," mum says, giving me a cuddle as I start to cry too. "If... If you want me to start being a boy again..." I begin, dreading what my mum's answer might be. "NO!" Mum says firmly, a smile returning to her face. "Don't you ever dare offer that! HE's the one in the wrong, not you! You be a girl for as long as you want, and if that's for the rest of your life, then your brother will have to learn to deal with it." I get to bed shortly afterwards, but I leave my ballet uniform out on my chair, which I change back into the following morning after a very quiet, awkward breakfast. "Hey Laura!" Nicole says happily as mum drops me off at her house. "Ballet uniform isn't TECHNICALLY a costume, but we can improve it with make-up! Come on!" Giggling happily, I follow Nicole into her house where she gives me a horror-themed makeover, consisting of thick eyeliner, pale face make-up and jet black lipstick. She also repaints my fingernails in jet black with white ghost stencils, a treatment she also gives to Megan, Priya and Suriya when they arrive. Megan's wearing a long, black dress with a long black wig- obviously meant to be a vampire or a witch- whilst Priya and Suriya are wearing long-legged unitards with skeletons printed on the front. Nicole, of course, is dressed as a devil in a tattered red dress with red tights, as well as horns and a tail. "I kinda feel out of place," I moan as I look at my friends in their costumes. "Did you not have, like, a 'proper' Halloween costume at home?" Priya asks, and I shake my head sadly. "We're not very well-off," I explain. "It's just me and mum and home and she works whenever she can, but she still has to be home when I am..." "Doesn't your brother contribute to the household?" Suriya asks. "Not anymore," I sigh. "Not since he joined the army." "Did-did he go home with you last night?" Megan asks cautiously. "NO," I say with a smile on my face, making the other four girls giggle. "Good," Nicole says. "Hopefully wherever he is, he's learning the PROPER way to treat girls! And as for your costume, it'd be fine if it wasn't light blue... Fortunately, I have an old black swimsuit I don't wear any more, you can wear that if you'd like?" "And I have a black tutu at home," Megan says. "It'll be a bit small but it should still fit you. I've also got a spare black wig." "And I know you have black tights," Nicole says to me. "I'll get my mum to run us around, you can gather your costume together and be a proper 'evil' ballerina!" "You- you wouldn't mind?" I ask, awed by my friends' generous offers. "You're my friend!" Nicole laughs. "Of course I don't mind! As long as I get to borrow some of your amazing clothes one of these days..." "Anything you want, any time," I giggle as Nicole leads the five of us- and her mum- to her mum's car. "Well," Nicole grins. "There is that AMAZING maxi skirt you wore on Monday..." "Ah," I grimace. "It's in the wash at the moment... But once it's dry, it's yours!" "Yay!" Nicole giggles, giving me a quick hug. After picking Megan's tutu up from her house, we stop at my house, where I walk in the door to find mum sat in her chair waiting for me. "Mum?" I ask. "Wh-what's up? I thought you were at work today..." "Laura," mum says softly. "It's your brother." "What's happened?" I ask, suddenly shaking and leaning on the sofa for support. "He's ended his leave early," mum explains. "He said- and these are HIS words, not mine- that he 'can't live in a house where his wishes are ignored'." "But I'm not ignoring his wishes," I sob. "He's ignoring mine!" "That's what I tried to tell him," mum says. "I told him that you wanted to be his sister, but he said- no, it doesn't matter what he said. You don't need to hear it, because he's WRONG. And if he can't accept you as his sister, then he doesn't deserve to have ANY siblings." "Oh," I say, sitting down on the sofa before remembering that my friends are waiting for me outside. "I, um, I only came home to get some black tights for my costume." "Then run upstairs and get some," mum says with a smile. "Don't let Ricky ruin your half term. It's Halloween! You should be having fun, not worrying about an idiot like him. Go!" "Will- will you be alright?" I ask. "I may have an obnoxious idiot of a son," mum says, "but I have a wonderful, kind and beautiful daughter. I'll be fine." I exchange a smile with my mother as I run upstairs to grab the stretchy legwear. Once we're back at Nicole's house, I change into my 'new' costume, putting my ballet uniform in a bag to take home at the end of the day. Nicole's swimsuit is a lot tighter than my leotard- or my school swimsuit, for that matter- but it still fits fine, and when combined with the black tights, tutu, wig and make-up, completes my 'evil ballerina' look perfectly. I decide not to tell my friends about my brother- I don't want to ruin everyone's fun, after all- and as I return home just after 7pm with a bag full of sweets (and a ballet uniform), I feel truly happy for the first time all week. "Aww," mum says upon seeing my 'enhanced' costume. "You look so cute AND scary at the same time!" "Thanks," I say, taking off Megan's wig and tutu and sitting down on the sofa. "I still feel kinda bad about Ricky, though..." "As I've said countless times, it's HIS problem, not yours," mum insists. "Yeah, but there's a way I can make everyone happy," I reply. "Everyone EXCEPT yourself," mum says, sitting next to me and giving me a big hug. "Don't force yourself to be anything or anyone you don't want to be just because other people react badly, regardless of who they are." "Even you?" I ask. "Even me!" Mum laughs. "Like now, when I'm tell you that you're wearing FAR too much make-up!" I can't help but giggle- even though I know that mum is of course right! After reluctantly washing off my make-up and stripping out of the tight costume, I climb into bed actually relieved that I'll get three days of half-term free from my brother, but at the same time sad that we weren't able to find some way of coexisting. I wake up on the Friday morning and head down to breakfast wearing my favourite neon pink tights, a black denim skirt and a pink hoodie. My fingernails are still painted black, and despite mum's protests over my use of make-up, I apply a little mascara to my eyelashes to help me feel extra feminine. "Morning," I say to my mother as she gives me my breakfast. I can tell from her facial expression, though, that she's still unhappy about the Ricky situation. "Morning," mum says, forcing a smile onto her face. "Don't forget we're seeing Doctor Williamson today." "I know," I say with a smile. "Do you think she'll be able to help with Ricky?" "I don't know," mum sighs. "Eat up your breakfast before it gets cold." After breakfast I put on my coat and shoes, ready to go out, but when I head down the stairs, I freeze as the front door opens and Ricky- looking a lot less confident than he usually does, despite wearing his uniform- walks through it. "Hi, Le- La- hi," Ricky mumbles. "I just thought I'd say goodbye to mum before I go." "Hi," I say coldly. "Ricky," mum says. "I didn't expect to see you before you left." "I just wanted to say goodbye," my brother says. "I don't know if I'll be back at Christmas," Ricky looks stoically up at me in my pink coat, dark nail polish and bright tights. "...probably not." "We're just about to head out," mum says. "Right, I won't keep you then," Ricky says. "Laura has a weekly meeting with a counsellor," mum continues. "She's helping to guide her through her journey. You're welcome to come along too, if you want." "I, um, don't think that'd help," Ricky says. "When do you have to be back at the army?" Mum asks. "Whenever," Ricky shrugs. "I'm still officially on leave until Wednesday, I can go back any time." "Then you're coming with us," mum says firmly. Knowing better than to argue, Ricky drops his kit in the doorway and joins us as we head to the car- though unlike before, he isn't fixing me with a judgemental stare. "Laura, Mrs. White," Dr Williamson says as we arrive at her office. "Please, come in. I'm guessing you're Ricky, right?" "Yeah, hi," Ricky says, shaking the middle-aged woman's hand. "I'm Dr Judith Williamson," my counsellor says as we all take our seats. "I've been helping your sister through her transition." "I don't have a sister," Ricky says exasperatedly. "Well, we'll have to agree to disagree about that," Dr Williamson replies. "No," Ricky continues. "You'll have to agree that Leon is a boy, because that's what he is." "Ricky!" Mum snaps at the young soldier, whose earlier humility has all but vanished. "Do you know how I knew instantly who you were, without asking?" Dr Williamson asks my brother. "It's because in our sessions, Laura has consistently identified you as a source of stress and anxiety in her life." "I've never done anything to make him stressed or anxious," Ricky scoffs, making mum's jaw drop through shock. "How about the constant teasing?" Mum asks. "Forcing her to have that haircut in August, constantly trying to persuade her to do things that she doesn't want to do... And the way you've been staring at her all week?" "That's harmless," Ricky retorts. "'Harmless' doesn't make people cry," mum says. "Then he should man up," Ricky snorts. "Have you ever asked Laura what she wants, or how she feels when you're teasing her?" Dr Williamson asks. "No, because I know better than him," Ricky replies. "I know that this isn't what he really wants, and he needs to grow out of it sooner rather than later." "Just from this quick chat," Dr Williamson says, "I suspect that you may have a form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You have a strict vision of the world, and when something happens to challenge that vision- like your sister's transition- rather than change your thinking, you set out to change them to fit your way of thinking." "Well, I can't help the way the world is," Ricky says. "Perhaps not," Dr Williamson concedes. "But you CAN help the way you think about the world, and the way you act in it." Much to my surprise, Ricky remains silent, allowing my counsellor to continue. "Laura has told me how miserable she was before her transition," Dr Williamson says. "She told me how she felt trapped, forced into a role she wasn't capable of filling. As a girl, she's much happier. She's living a life in which she feels free and comfortable and she has friends and family who accept her and her choices." "Even if her choices are wrong?" Ricky asks. "It's not a matter of 'right' or 'wrong'," the counsellor says. "The important thing is that they are her choices to make." "And that's the first time you've said 'her' or 'she' instead of 'his' or 'him'," I say quietly, catching Ricky by surprise. "Your brother, as you knew him, no longer exists," Dr Williamson says softly. "Your only choices are to accept your new sister, or leave." Much to my shock, Ricky sits back in his chair and continues to listen to Dr Williamson as, over the course of our counselling session, she analyses our week, offering her usual words of wisdom and strategies to cope with the stress- strategies that would've been infinitely useful last Saturday. By the end of the session, it's clear that it will always be a struggle for Ricky to accept me as his sister, even if he is more comfortable using 'she' and 'her' than he was at the start of the day. He of course rejected the notion that he might have some sort of mental disorder himself, but even the tiniest step forward is still a step forward- and I feel closer to my brother now than I ever have done, even when I was Leon instead of Laura. "Are you still planning on going back to your barracks tonight?" Mum asks as we return to her car. "Yeah," Ricky says. "It's still probably a good idea." "Didn't you want to stay for bonfire night?" I ask, remembering what Priya and Suriya said about the Bhai Dooj. "Nah, maybe next year," Ricky says dismissively. In a way, I'm kind of relieved- the whole point of inviting him to the Bhai Dooj was to trick him the way I'd been tricked in the past, but now, dishonesty is the last thing I want between Ricky and myself. At home, mum and I bid Ricky farewell with smiles on our faces. Mum hugs her son goodbye, but I have to settle for a gentle slap on the shoulder. It's only after he leaves that I realise: when he returns in a few months' time, I'll be almost unrecognisable as the boy I used to be. My hair will have grown even further, I'll be wearing more feminine clothing, using more feminine mannerisms, and I'll even have started to take tablets to prevent me from having a normal male puberty. In a way, I can almost see his point- the little boy he grew up with for 11 years really is gone... And yet, in a very real way, he never existed in the first place. As I head back to school the following Monday in my comfortable blouse, warm grey tights and pleated grey skirt, the smiles on my friends' faces settle any uncertainty I have about my future. Nicole, Priya & Suriya never knew Leon, only Laura- and they all seems to love the girl that I am. Not everything about my life is perfect- not even school, as I'm reminded when I pass Harriet in the corridor- but as long as the positives outweigh the negatives, then the life of Laura Jade White will only get better and better.