Welcome Back free porn video

Welcome Back By Dawna Tompson April 2016 Bikers, beer, sports and sex. Sam begins to realize how shallow it all is after unexpectedly waking up to a completely new reality. Rating R, Adult Content [email protected] - - The two women walked briskly down the hospital corridor. The shorter one, clipboard in hand, was perhaps in her mid-fifties. She was dressed professionally, a neat jacket covered her crisp white blouse. Her red skirt creased the middle of her knees. Her brown hair was pulled into a neat bun just above the base of her neck with only a small unruly wisp falling around her forehead. The taller woman was younger, in her mid-twenties. She was dressed in oversized wine-colored hospital scrubs that only hinted at a shapely figure underneath. Her dark hair was pulled into a simple high ponytail that fell down the back of her neck. The click of the shorter woman's heels echoed off the polished floor. The taller women's hospital clogs glided noiselessly across the white tile. They paused outside the hospital room and glanced at the name-tag next to the door. Sam Ellison. They glanced at one another to confirm they had the right room. "Dr. Cielo, I'm not certain about this. How do we go about it?" "Stacy, it will be fine," replied the doctor. "I've done this many times. Each case is a bit different but generally it goes well. We'll be direct, but we also must show empathy and understanding. You'll do fine. Are you ready?" Stacy nodded. As they entered the room Dr. Cielo motioned to Stacy not to turn on any lights. "It's best to keep it fairly dark, in fact, maybe you can close the blinds a bit more before we start," she whispered. The patient was asleep with head turned away from the door. The sheets were pulled high leaving little to see but a wave of blonde hair pulled tight around the disembodied head poking above the white sheets. Dr. Cielo nodded toward Stacy. "Sam, dear, wake up." The head turned slowly to reveal a young girl laying in the bed. Her eyes were still closed. She moaned softly and struggled to open her eyes. With the sheets pulled so high she appeared tiny in the large hospital bed. She may have been in her mid-twenties but without make-up and with her hair pulled back tight behind her ears she gave the impression of being much younger. "Sam, I want you to wake up and meet someone. This is Dr. Cielo. She has something important to tell you." "What? Where am... why is...? Oh, a hospital. How did I get here? How long have I been out?" Sam queried. "A couple of days. Everything is all right, you are fine. As soon as you wake up we can get you moving. You won't be here much longer," Stacy volunteered. Dr. Cielo leaned close to Sam and in a quiet voice began, "I want you to understand, you are healthy, nothing is wrong with you. But you are going to find that your body feels very different. The first thing you'll notice is that you'll feel a lot lighter. Other things have changed too. You are going to have to adjust to them. Do you understand?" Sam nodded, but looked puzzled. Stacy moved closer and held Sam's hand. "You'll be fine, we are here to help you." Sam reached up to brush a few strands of hair out of her eyes. Her look of puzzlement turned to surprise. "Hey, what the heck happened to my...?" She immediately placed her a hand over her mouth. In a moment she pulled it away and held it up close to her face. "It's different. Smaller, I think. And my voice, it sounds so high pitched. What's going on?" "Sam dear, everything about your body is different, quite a bit different. It will take some time to get used to it, but I assure you that you will. Everything will be fine," Dr. Cielo said reassuringly. Sam nodded but still had a puzzled look on her face. "Okay, I think." She was awake now and trying harder to process what she was hearing. Dr. Cielo began again, "Sam, I'm going to hold your hand and then move it to your thigh." She took Sam's right hand and moved it under the covers. "Now I want you to move your hand between your legs." Sam exploded off the pillow sitting straight up. 'What the...?" She pulled at the covers and lifted the hospital gown. "Oh my god." What's happened to me? This can't be. This is a dream." "Sam, you have woman's body now. It's complete, mature, and fully functional, just as if you had been born that way." Sam tugged at the top of the gown, yanking it away from the thin ties that held it in place. "Tits, I have tits too. This is unreal, this is... bogus. What kind of trick is this?" "It is no trick, you are a woman. You are part of the other half of humanity now." Stacy chimed in, "Some might say it's the better half." She reached out to touch Sam on her arm. Sam yanked her arm away. "Get away! Don't touch me. I don't understand this, but I'm going back to my old self, I am Sam Ellison, I am not some girl. How did this happen? How do I wake up from this nightmare? How do I get back?" Dr. Cielo began again softly, "Sam, there is no going back, this body is permanent, you are a woman now and I'm here to help you get adjusted to it. Stacy too. We are ready to help you. It will be a huge adjustment, but we can help you do it. We've helped many others, we can help you too." "The only help I need is to get back into my body. How do I do that?" Sam demanded. Dr. Cielo responded, "There is no way back, you are a woman now, there is no more Sam Ellison, only Samantha Ellison. Do you understand? This..." She motioned toward Sam's body, "is who you now are." Sam's shoulders slumped. Her head turned downward. Her arms dropped to the bed to steady herself. Stacy put an arm around Sam and helped her swing her legs to the side of the bed. Sam's hair fell around her face. She brushed it away as if swishing a fly, "Oh my God. How can I ever get used to this?" The effort of turning in bed had caused her hospital gown to climb well up her legs. She flipped the thin fabric up and glanced between creamy white thighs. "Just a slit, no dick, no balls, not even pubic hair, no nothing, this is unreal." Stacy asked, "Would you like a mirror to see better?" "No, God no," She yanked her head away, "I can't look at it. Not now, maybe not ever," She tried to bark at them but the sound that came out was much too soft, "Listen to me, I sound like a little girl. Oh my God, a little girl's voice to go with a little girl's body!" "Stacy, let's give Samantha her space." They retreated as Sam dropped her head on the pillow and turned her face toward the closed blinds. Her hand slid up to her chest and cupped an unfamiliar mass. An hour later Stacy breezed in. "How are you feeling?" Sam turned, her eyes were red and puffy. "Lousy!" "Really?" Stacy seemed genuinely surprised, "The doctor said you are healthy. She's seems to think you are ready to be discharged." "I have to pee. Do I need a bedpan or can I get up?" "Of course you can get up, the bathroom is just around the corner. Just remember to sit down," Stacy said helpfully. Sam gave her a look that could have turned granite to lava. "Grrrrr," but the sound didn't come across as menacing as intended. After a minute or so Stacy inquired, "Are you all right in there?" "I'm bleeding!" Sam replied. "It's gross." Stacy rolled her eyes and spoke to the ceiling, "Oh God, I thought we might have a couple weeks before we faced this." Then she turned toward the bathroom and called out, "Hang on a minute, I'll show you how to deal with that. Get a tampon from the box inside the sink cabinet." A half cry came from behind the bathroom door. "You've got to be kidding me!" Dr. Cielo walked in a few minutes later. "Sam, you are ready to be discharged. I have a few things for you. First, is this, it's your new birth certificate. It shows your sex as female. You'll need it to negotiate your new world. Next, here is the address and the keys to the apartment we have set up for you. Oh, and also, here is the appointment card for our first session." Sam fingered the card. "Ascension Cielo, M.D. Woman's Health. Your next appointment is:" "There's no date or time written on this card," Sam responded. Dr. Cielo took the card and hastily scribbled something on it, "You are going to need some regular support, so I'll want to see you in a couple of days and then once a week after that, at least for a while. Stacy has picked up a few things for you from the gift shop downstairs. She thought you might be uncomfortable in woman's clothes at first so she brought you a simple work-out suit. It's a woman's outfit but it's not too feminine, it's sort of unisex, I guess. At least it's grey, not pink. It should fit you. I'm sorry, but it has the hospital logo on it." Sam growled, "Hmmmrff. I want to get out of here. But shit. You're going to send me out of here dressed like that?" She picked up the top and examined the logo, "Nice," she said sarcastically, "Woman's General Hospital. I'll be a walking billboard." "It's the best we can do for now. Now hurry. Take a shower and get dressed," Dr. Cielo urged. "I have another appointment and I want to see you dressed in street clothes before I go." When the shower stopped Stacy tapped softly on the door and offered, "I have some white cotton panties here. They are women's underwear but they aren't too terribly feminine. You might want to wear them instead of going commando. Also, it might feel weird at first but I think you'll want to wear this bra too. You are not going to feel comfortable bouncing around without any support." The door opened a crack and a slender hand reached out to snatch the items. "If you need help I'm here." "I can handle it," came the irritated reply. The door opened and a sheepish looking girl stepped out. "This is weird. I feel like a circus clown. I'm certain everyone will stare at me. This is ridiculous. I'm so small. My feet are tiny. Look at this hair. It's all over the place and I don't have a clue what to do with it." "You look fine," Stacy and Dr. Cielo said in unison. "Turn around so we can see how you look," chimed Stacy. Sam turned a bit showing off a well-fitting set of work-out pants. Her arched back accented her full, round butt and slender waist. She zipped the jacket up to the top of her neck. Even the bulky jacket couldn't hide her shapely chest. "This bra is too tight and these things stick out, for god's sake I can't see to tie my shoes!" Stacy and Dr. Cielo just shook their heads in amusement. "Here are your discharge papers. Stacy will walk you down to the administrative offices and then make sure you get a taxi. I want to see you in two days in my office. I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about." - - Dr. Cielo was in her office sitting at her large wooden desk. She slowly sipped tea from a mug as she read through a stack of files. The knock on the door was small and tentative. "Come in." The door opened slowly and Sam stepped partway in, "Doctor?" Dr. Cielo walked over, put an arm around her shoulder, guiding her into the office. "I was afraid you might not show up. Please, come in, sit down. Do you want something to drink?" Sam shook her head. She took a seat in the large square stuffed chair by the window. "How have you been feeling, Sam?" "Uh, doc, to tell the truth I don't know. I was pretty freaked out when I left the hospital. I still am." Sam had on the same work-out pants that Stacy had given her but she had replaced the top with an oversized black tee shirt. Her hair was loose and unkempt. She sat with her legs open and slouched her back against the chair. Her arms drooped along the armrest. Her fingers drummed on the soft fabric covering the chair. "It's been a wild couple of days." "Tell me about it." Dr. Cielo's interest seemed openly honest. "Well the first day I sat around not knowing what to do or what to think. I finally got up enough nerve to try to look at this new body of mine. It's still not an easy thing to do. You know, I'm actually a bit of a babe. My old self would have found me hot. I even rooted around and put on some sexy panties and a bra I found in the dresser thinking that might be exciting." "Stacy furnished the apartment, selected all the clothes, and then placed them in the closets and dressers for you," Dr. Cielo volunteered. Sam pushed back the hair that had fallen in her face with a rough hand motion. "That was nice of her, but the whole experience kind of weirded me out." I felt, well... I don't know how I felt. Maybe like an alien had taken over my body. To tell the truth I thought maybe I would be turned on by this sexy girl's body, but nothing. I didn't feel anything familiar at all." She continued, "So I took off. First, I walked around the neighborhood a bit. I felt like I was in a spotlight, like everyone was looking at me. But really, the few people I ran into just seemed to accept me. An old couple asked me how my day was going. A child said hello and asked me if I liked her new bike. Just simple everyday stuff. Here was this alien standing in their midst but they just didn't seem to get it, they treated me just like I was a normal person! Next, I got on the subway and headed for the job site. I figured the guys would still be working on the warehouse roof for another week or so, maybe I could see how they were coming along. At the Cedar stop some asshole got on and sat down right next to me. I mean, there was an open seat just in front of me. He kept fidgeting and pressing up against me. It finally dawned on me why he figured he'd sit next to me. The jerk! I wasn't about to give him any jollies. I got off two stops early and walked the rest of the way. Yuck! At the site I could see Steve hauling the rolls of tar paper off the truck and throwing them on the lift. That would have been my job. The asshole is probably getting my pay now too. Brent was up on the roof with a bandana around his head dressed in his cutoff jean jacket. Even at a distance I could see he was already sweating. I saw that skeleton tattoo on those muscular arms and thought about that crazy night when some chick talked him into getting it. She was all over him that night." "Tell me, how did that make you feel?" prompted Dr. Cielo. "I guess I miss my buddies on the crew. I'd like to tell them what happened but they'd probably think I was queer or something. Besides, about that time Moe noticed I was looking over at them and he whistled at me. That alerted the other guys and they all started eyeing me. Brent called out, Hey Babe, come over and talk to us. I turned tail. All I could think about was walking as fast as I could without giving those assholes anything more to stare at. But my butt and hips wouldn't cooperate. No matter what I did they just seemed to roll and sway on their own. Those jerks didn't deserve any of that." - - Samantha returned to Dr. Cielo's office. "You look perky today. What's up?" Dr. Cielo inquired. "Oh nothing much." She seemed more at ease. Her hair was tied in simple low ponytail with a rubber band and stuffed into baseball cap. She had on loose jeans and a simple knit pullover below the unzipped track suit jacket. "I've been trying to figure out some way to deal with this. It doesn't look like I'm going to get my old body back anytime soon. I was thinking about what to do now, you know, like how am I going to move forward from here? I can't be a roofer anymore, not at five foot nothing and 125 pounds. I think I can do something, maybe a waitress or... a... I don't know. I'll think of something I can do. Dr. Cielo responded, "Excellent, did you do anything to make that happen?" "Yeah, the next day I went downtown to see if I could find something, maybe put in some applications or something. I dunno. I had just stepped out of this candle shop... " "You wanted to work in a candle shop?" "Nah, it was just that when I walked past the shop it smelled so wonderful. I had to go inside and look around." Sam seemed to have something else on her mind. "Anyway, as I stepped out of the shop this biker caught my attention. He had a Super-low Harley 750 Street Bike. Custom fenders, chrome everywhere. Sweet. He was just idling at the light, rumbling along barely turning over a few hundred RPMs. You know, Brr-Rump, Brr-Rump, Brr-Rump. He was tall, bearded, and dressed in leather chaps and a vest. When he saw me looking he rev'd the engine and that throaty roar just drilled into my core. Wow, that got my juices flowing. I felt tingles all over. It made me think about how free it felt when I used to ride my bike. There is nothing like downing a few cool ones after work, straddling my baby, and then pulling way back on the throttle once I hit the open road. The roar in your ears and the wind in your face, it is pure pleasure, pure escape. "Interesting," replied the doctor. - - The door opened wide and Sam pushed into the office. "I got a job!" She rushed to hug Dr. Cielo. "Tell me about it." "Well, it's just a starter position." "What are you doing?" "Oh, I'm working in a coffee shop downtown. I'm headed there after I leave here. See, here is my name-tag, Samantha, and I have this too." She pulled an apron out of a cloth bag. The tan apron had a picture of a steaming mug of coffee printed on it. "It's so much better than working out in the hot sun all day." "How are you adjusting to it?" "Well, Ryan, my manager, said he thought I caught on quickly so maybe he can give me a raise in a few weeks. He's kinda cute and I like working with him. I just wish he'd stop looking at my tits whenever he talks to me. In the morning it's busy. But I like taking orders, serving coffee, rushing around back and forth to the kitchen. And it's kind of exciting when a customer leaves me a tip. I made friends with a couple of other workers, Cynthia and Lydia. We chit-chat during the slow periods. It's not like bullshitting with the guys though, it's different, but still, it's kind of an easy way to pass the time." - - Sam began the next session, "You know doc, I think I'm starting to fit into the groove a bit better." "I noticed that you look a little different, your clothes are a bit brighter." "You mean I'm dressed a little more girlish, don't you?" Sam had on tight, fitted jeans and a clingy pastel knit top. It had a thin wisp of lace trim around the sleeves and neck. Her hair was carefully brushed and tied into a simple but neat bun. "Yes, that too," replied Dr. Cielo. "Well, this is sort of a trial run. The girls, Cynthia and Lydia from work, they have been sort of helping me with my clothes and hair. I've been experimenting with fixing it the way they suggested. Ryan even gave me a compliment on how nice I was dressed the other day. That made me feel good, my first real compliment as a girl. A ridiculous achievement, I know. Now understand this isn't an everyday thing, not yet anyway, but I wore these low heels today, just because I didn't think you would judge me if I don't walk so well on them yet. I tried a little lipstick but it was too much and I wiped it off. Maybe next time. I feel safe trying to be a little bit girlish when I'm with you." "Thank you. I want you to feel safe to be yourself," Cielo responded, and then after a pause offered, "So you talk with your new girlfriends. What's that like?" "Oh, it's a trip. They talk a lot about clothes and shopping. They dragged me to the department store the other day after work so we could shop. It was fun watching them get excited about clothes and shoes and jewelry and makeup. After a while they sort of got me into it too. I even tried on a few of the things they suggested. They talked me into buying this blouse. It's kind of tight fitting." She squirmed a bit in the chair. "It's not too over the top, is it?" "No, it seems appropriate." "Then they convinced me to go visit Raul. They both have him do their hair. I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer, so I agreed. Raul said he didn't have to do much to it except trim my spilt ends." Sam fiddled with her hair a bit. "Then he showed me how to take a little better care of it. Shampoo, conditioner, oil treatments, some stuff that's supposed to add body, it's all new to me. I have a bunch of stuff now. Raul seems a bit obsessed by hair and I think he infected me a little too, I guess." "Anything else?" "It's still a bit uncomfortable talking with them. Girls, they seem so much different, not like men, they talk more openly. They confide more things about how they feel. They talk a lot about relationships, not just their boyfriends but also how they relate to their family and friends. Sometimes they even talk about sex, but not bullshit guy-talk. More like, I like it when he does this, or I dress like that because it makes him excited. You know, girl-talk. But it's interesting." "And do you join in their conversations?" "Mostly, I just listen. But who would have thought a few weeks ago I could ever be interested in this stuff. I guess I'm adapting. One time they started exchanging stories about conversations they had with their mothers. I did confide one thing to them that I don't share very often. I told them that I didn't have a mother anymore." - - At the next session Dr. Cielo noticed that Sam chose to sit in the straight backed chair. She had turned her torso sideways just a bit. Her knees touched one another, her legs crossed at the ankles. Her motionless hands and were cupped together in her lap. She held her head up straight and waited to make eye contact. "Doc," Sam started hesitantly, "I have to tell you something that I've been sort of hiding from you. Maybe I've even been hiding it from myself. It's a small thing but I've been thinking a lot about it this week. Remember when I told you about the biker I saw downtown, the one with the Harley? I talked about how good it felt to ride and how free it made me feel. Pure escape, I think I said. But I didn't tell you the other thing I felt. I couldn't really admit it to myself at the time, and it's still hard. When I saw that guy on the bike I just wanted to jump in the back of the cycle, wrap my arms around him and squeeze tight. I imagined my cheek pressed against his back. I could almost feel the vibration of the bike coming up through him and spreading all through my body. That excited me. When I said it got my juices flowing, it was literally true.I had to change my panties when I got home. Was that wrong?" Cielo responded gingerly, "What do you think?" "It was exciting but creepy, something in the back of my mind kept saying that it would just feel so right to hold him tight. I could almost feel his warmth. My nipples get hard even now just thinking about it." She squirmed a bit and tugged at her blouse. "Oh, it was terrible! I felt like I betrayed myself. Like I was becoming queer or something. I don't like guys. At least I didn't used to. I mean, I'm not a homo. At least I wasn't before... but, I wouldn't be one now anymore would I?" She laughed nervously. "I kept arguing with myself all week. It's awful... awful good.... I shouldn't... I want to... I can't... It's okay.... Ugh! How do girls deal with this?" Sam stopped and looked up at the ceiling. "Hmmm." "What is it?" "I just remembered something else. Remember when I told you about Brent's tattoo and the girl who was hanging on his arm that night. I just realized, as I was telling you the story I was actually picturing myself hanging on his arm, running my fingers over his tattoo. Weird isn't it? These extreme thoughts keep jumping into my mind every now and then. I can't seem to stop them. I mean, me and Brent? He's a jerk. Wow. What was I thinking?" - - "What's the matter?" Dr. Cielo asked. "Come in, sit down." Sam sat listlessly. "It's been a rough week. I've come face to face with something I can't get my head around. I mean, all these crazy thoughts keep spinning around my head. All these emotions keep coming to the surface. It's a new landscape for me and I can't seem to find my way. Thoughts keep rushing at me at 100 miles per hour. Stuff keeps bubbling up and I can't seem to stop it." "Like what? What thoughts bubble up? Give me an example." "Things don't seem to work the way they used to." She paused. "Here's an example, beer doesn't taste good anymore. I don't even like it's smell. And I ate a salad for supper yesterday! It bothered me that it tasted so good." Sam stopped momentarily to collect her thoughts. "I just can't get into sports either. I tried watching the game last night and I found myself comparing the colors of their uniforms. I like the royal blue jerseys better. I started noticing the players muscular bodies in those tight football pants. That started me off on a long mental riff picturing them lifting weights in a workout room. I started wondering if any of them were married, or if they had girlfriends or families. I don't even know who won, and you know what? I don't give a shit either. It used to be so important. What is going on? Dr. Cielo tried to reassure Sam, "Your brain operates a little differently now. You have a mix of new hormones flooding your brain. They are going to affect your mood, your likes and dislikes, and even the things you think about. Eventually, it will start to feel more normal." "Doc, here is what really bothers me. I can't even think about sex anymore, or at least it's not as simple as it used to be. I try, but I can't seem to remember what used to get me so excited about a hot chick. I still take note of cute girls. But now I notice how their outfits match or wonder how they got their hair curled that way. I see their handbags and their shoes and wonder where they bought them. Other weird thoughts get in the way too. Stuff like silk nighties, lace curtains, fairy princesses, furry cats, and flowers, and cute little babies for god's sake. It shouldn't feel so good to think about that stuff, should it? Everything is confusing. My life is upside down." "Last week you seemed so cheery, today you seem really down. What happened?" "Well, something started to feel different a couple of days ago. It's that time again. I felt bloated and I had a dull headache the whole day. Then IT started while I was at work. Doc, I'm still grossed out by the whole issue. It just feels, I don't know, yeech! Anyway, I borrowed a pad from Cynthia and then left work early. When I got home I undressed. I was a mess, so I had to clean myself. Then, as I inserted the tampon I had this flash. Just everything bubbled up all at once. It seems so backward, inserting this thing into my body. As I pulled out the plastic jacket it reminded me of what I once had. I just felt this overwhelming sense of loss. Like someone had abandoned me. It hit me at a gut level. I have lost my ma... ma... ma... my manhood. I just started to bawl, well... like a little girl. But that just made me feel worse because I'm not supposed to be crying. But I couldn't stop. After a while I discovered that it actually made it seem better, like all the bad stuff I was thinking about had drained out with my tears. "You felt a sense of loss?" It's not just that. It's like when someone close to you just ups and leaves. You know things can't go back to normal but you miss them just the same. I'm beginning to accept that I'm a girl now, but I just can't deal with this sense of total abandonment." "It seems like you are mourning a really big loss." It feels like, like, when she left." Sam took a deep breath. "She simply ran out one day and left us alone. Her worthless husband was a mess and I was left trying to care for a little brother with a mental handicap. I was a miserable failure at it. And now I wonder, would things have turned out better if this happened to me sooner?" She motioned toward herself. "Maybe I would have been more motherly, maybe more understanding, more something. I'm certain I would have been better at it if I was back then who I am now. I might have kept him out of trouble." Dr. Cielo responded, "Your mother abandoned you?" Sam could only nod as tears welled up and began to stream down her cheeks. Dr. Cielo gently pulled her close. Sam buried her face between her breasts. "It's okay," responded Dr. Cielo, as she gently stroked Sam's head. -- Dr. Cielo was lost in thought when her office door swung open so hard it nearly hit against the doorstop. Sam stood proudly, the doorway framing her shapely silhouette. "You look positively gorgeous," cooed Cielo. Sam stood in a pair of white, high-heeled sandals. She wore a short yellow summer dress that displayed her long legs and rose to the middle of her firm thighs. It fit snugly around her wide hips and thin waist. The ties that held the top wrapped around her long neck leaving her smooth shoulders bare. The neckline was low, revealing the tops of her full breasts and exposing a deep rift of cleavage between them. Sam stood with one hand on her hip and the other bent at the elbow with fingers drooping downward in an exaggerated feminine pose. She sashayed into the office, mimicking a runway model. She walked past Dr. Cielo and then turned, bent over a little in embarrassment, cupped her hands over her face, and giggled. Dr. Cielo studied her cheerful face. Her hair was full and curled, it cascaded around her neck and fell over her shoulders. Her makeup was complete but not overdone. Her brows had been expertly plucked into perfect arches and then darkened a bit. Complimentary layers of natural eyeshadow powered her eyelids. Eyeliner and mascara accented her large almond shaped eyes. A hint of blush dabbled her high cheekbones. Lush red lipstick enhanced her full sensuous lips. "Wow! You could be a model." "I feel pretty good too. Even a little bit sexy. No, a lot bit sexy!" Sam glowed. "What happened? When you left last week it seemed like you had hit a low point. Today you seem radiant." "When I went home last week I thought hard about what had happened. It just seemed silly to keep feeling that way. Then it dawned on me. I was confused. I didn't really miss being a man, I was missing something else. I didn't know that I was lost. I thought that's just the way it was supposed to be. I decided I had to let it go. Discarding that baggage seemed to open a door. Once through it I was able to start accepting my new body and the emotions that come with it. After that, everything started to quickly fall into place. I wanted to demonstrate this feeling, make it real in some concrete way. I confided to Lydia that I wanted to try dressing up for you and she jumped in and helped me with this outfit. I really like it. She helped with my hair and make-up too." She brushed back a few curls from her face, "I wasn't the person I thought I was. I was caught in a trap. This feels more like the real me. I'm now who I am supposed to be!" She pirouetted happily. I know who I really am. And I'm certain that I'm a woman, not a man. It feels so natural now. Bikers, beer, sports, sex. It was all so shallow. Anyway, it's hard to even remember what it was like anymore. I feel more alive and connected now. Deep inside I must have always been a woman. I just didn't realize it until you gave me this chance." Dr. Cielo responded, "I'm so happy for you. You know Samantha, you've accomplished almost everything we set out for you. I am proud of what a confident young lady you've become. And I am honored to have been able to help you." Her tone turned more serious. "But there is still a very important issue we need to talk about. It's time we discussed it." Sam's breezy tone quickly evaporated, "Sure doctor." She seemed apprehensive. "What's on your mind?" "It's not what on my mind, it's what's on yours. I want you to think about the day you woke up in the hospital. Do you remember anything about what came before that? What is the last thing you remember before you woke up?" "Well, I... Uh..." Sam stammered. "Well, let's see." She drummed her fingers and fidgeted in the chair. "Didn't you find it strange that you would simply wake up one day in a different body? Even if it were medically possible doesn't that seem like an odd procedure? What happened that caused this huge change? Why did this happen to you?" "What are you getting at doctor? I am... I was... I mean, it's you who should explain it to me. Why am I in this body? Why does it feel so comfortable? Why does this," she motioned toward herself, "feel like my normal self? Why does the thought of returning to that male body now feel so wrong?" Sam seemed genuinely puzzled for the first time since her ordeal had started. She stood up, turned her back to Cielo, and stared out the window. "Think Sam, think," Cielo demanded. "Where were you? What were you doing before you woke up?" "Why I was... Let me think." She closed her eyes, put her fingers tips together, and then brought them to her lips. "I was pissed off about something. Something about my little brother, Billy. Yes, Billy. Something was wrong. Very wrong." She paused for moment, then, with her eyes still closed, began slowly. "I remember, he'd been picked up for something... possession, yes, and I was upset because I didn't have enough to cover his bail. He was looking at serious time. I couldn't afford a lawyer. I needed to think." Sam opened her eyes but stared ahead unblinking, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. She went on. I went to the Golden Eagle and sat on the stool in my usual spot. I was pissed, worried, and I felt I let Billy down. It was my fault. It was up to me. There was no one else. I should do something. I must help him. But how? I sat at the bar and started to drink. I guess I was hoping it would make me forget the hole I felt in my gut. Some ass wipe said something to me and I swung at him. I got into a fight, with the bouncer, I think. Anyway, they tossed me out. I got on my motorcycle. The next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital." Cielo seemed to change the subject. "Do you have any idea why you are feeling more at ease with yourself?" Do you remember what you told me?" "That I might have done better with Billy if I had been a girl?" Sam tried. Cielo was insistent. "No not that. You said you were mixing up your emotions. That's important. What happened before you woke up in the hospital?" "I can't remember." Sam was near tears now. "I was drunk. I was mad. Don't you understand? I can't remember anything else." She crouched and crossed her arms defensively in front of her. "I don't want to remember..." Cielo gently pulled down her arms and looked directly in her eyes. "Sam, this is important, you've got to remember. Here, I'll help you." Cielo pulled up a straight back chair tucked under a table piled high with magazines. She turned it around so Sam was facing the back of the chair. "Climb onto this, straddle it like you are riding your bike." Sam did so hesitantly. Her eyes appeared slightly glazed. "What are you feeling?" Sam went through the motions of angrily shifting gears. "Damn you. God dammit mom. Why did you run? Why aren't you here? I need you. You bitch, you ran away and left me with that sorry drunk and poor little Billy." Sam tugged at an imaginary throttle. "I'm running too, I can't stand this anymore." Then more calmly, "There, open road. I'm free, no more of this crap. If she can run then so can I!" Then, after a moment, "Oh shit, shit, shit!" Her arms flew up. Oh no, oh no, oh shit!" "Sam tell me what's happening." "A semi. I'm a goner, I think I hit it head on. Yes, there is my bike. Oh, my baby, it's wrecked. Pieces of it are all over the road and in the ditch. There is a body in the road. It couldn't be the truck driver. Was someone else involved?" Sam was fully immersed in reliving the experience now. "Sam, look at the body. Who is it? Look! Go ahead and look at the face." "I can't see his face." Sam was silent but strained her eyes trying look into an imaginary space far from Dr. Cielo's office. "He's dressed a little bit like I was. There's a lot of blood. No! It can't be. It looks like... It's me. It's my face. Oh... look how broken I am." Then a long pause. Sam held her arm up to shade her eyes. "Lots of flashing lights." "The ambulance is here, they didn't even try to work on me. They just zipped me into a plastic bag." "Sam, I want you to tell me what happened next." "I woke up in the hospital." "How did you come to be Samantha?" "Well, maybe it was the only way to keep me alive?" "Sam listen to me, tell me more about what happened after they picked you up. Watch them closely, where did they take you? "It feels like a basement." She shivered and rubbed her arms. "I'm on a cold steel table. Bones are sticking out of my pants, there is blood oozing from my head. No one seems worried about it. They are just standing around. Shouldn't they be running around trying to help me?'" She waved a listless arm and cried out in a weak voice, "Hey, hey, a little help here, can't you see I'm bleeding? They are just ignoring me." She's pulling open a curtain. Hey, it's Brent! Brent! Get me some help. He's nodding his head toward me and talking to someone. Oh, she's closing the curtain. No, Brent don't you leave me too. Don't abandon me!" She halted. After a moment her mouth started to move but no noise came out. Then in a whisper, "It not an emergency room." "Tell me, where are you?" "It's the morgue. I didn't survive... I died... I must be dead...." She shook her head in disbelief. "But this is so real. I feel so alive. It can't be possible." She looked at the doctor with pleading eyes. "Is it so? Am I really dead?" Cielo nodded. Sam reached out and Cielo pulled her close. "Sam dear, you are not alone, you were never abandoned, you've always been surrounded by love, you just forgot for a little while, that's all." Sam sobbed quietly for a few moments. Then she took a deep breath and pulled away from Cielo's embrace. "Then why this? Why am I here? Isn't there supposed to be angels, a reckoning, heaven or hell, God? There must be something more than a new dress and an appointment with a doctor. Why am I in this body, and why does is seem so right to be here looking like this?" Cielo dropped her voice to nearly a whisper, "Sam, you are beginning to remember who you really are. We've simply helped restore you to the form that's always been most natural for you. It's emotions, and feelings, and love, and even sometimes anger; not the body you were born in; that determines how you present yourself here. You are a woman because that reflects your most natural inner self. You are not Sam the biker, you are Samantha, Child of the Universe." Sam dabbed at her eyes with a tissue Cielo provided, she smiled brightly. "Oh it does feel so good. It feels so natural. But if I've always been a woman then why was I born a man?" "Every lifetime teaches a lesson. We take on the form that best helps us learn that lesson. What do you think your life's lesson was about?" Sam thought for a moment. "Maybe it's about forgiveness. I needed to learn forgiveness. And understanding." She paused for long while and then looked up. "Mom, I forgive you for leaving. And maybe now I even understand a little about why you did it." "That's right," Dr. Cielo replied. "And once you learned that lesson there was no need for you to stay on the Earthly Plane anymore. Welcome back, Samantha!"