Over the course of the next few weekends I was given- and took- the
opportunity to become Jacinta several times. Despite her own limited
storage space, Ophelia (which, by October, was the only name I addressed
my friend by) was more than happy to keep 'my' clothes at her house.
She was also happy to wash the clothes for me, especially the underwear-
which came as a huge relief to me when I saw that she'd bought me a
packet of thongs.
I'd spend every waking moment of every weekday anxious looking forward
to Saturday, and when it finally came I'd spend virtually every possible
second cooped up in Ophelia's bedroom, allowing her to transform me into
'Jacinta', whilst she was able to spend the time honing her dressmaking
skills and working on her own college assignments. Obviously, I had no
problem acting as the 'clothes horse', but after a few weekends, much to
my dismay, the 'novelty' began to wear off.
"Both of the garments you will wear today were made from other types of
clothing," Ophelia explained as she held up a red top-like garment.
"This was originally a long dress that I customised and repurposed into
a bodysuit. However, there are no fasteners in the crotch, so you will
need to step into it through the neck, as you would a swimsuit or a
leotard."
"Okay," I said as I took the bodysuit and stepped into it as instructed,
stretching it past my nylon-covered legs and over my bra (which, as
always, contained a pair of thick socks in each cup).
"This skirt was made from an old pair of ladies' jeans," Ophelia said.
"The extra denim panels on the front and the rear should make it
comfortable to walk in, but please do tell me if it is too tight."
"Will do," I said as I stepped into the skirt, zipping and fastening it
shut before walking back and forth in Ophelia's room a few times to test
the 'stride' the garment had. "Seems okay to me..."
"Marvellous," Ophelia said with a genuine grin. "Whilst purchasing these
items from the charity store I was also able to procure for you a pair
of shoes. They are only a pair of plain, flat ankle boots, but they are
labelled as women's boots, and would suit your outfit very well."
"Cool," I said, lacing up the boots and trying to smile at how they
complemented the skirt and the bodysuit.
"Jacinta..." Ophelia said as she sat me down and fussed with my hair and
make-up, "are you feeling alright today? You don't seem to be your usual
self, if you don't mind me saying so."
"I'm okay," I shrugged, frowning as Ophelia fixed me with a quizzical
stare. "Honestly, I'm fine. This is the first time I've ever worn
anything like a leotard or a bodysuit. I remember being so jealous of
all the girls in swimming classes, getting to wear one-piece swimsuits
whilst I shivered in a pair of trunks..."
"I am glad," Ophelia said. "I had a feeling that such a garment might
excite you... But I expected it to excite you more than this."
"...I'm sorry," I sighed. "I don't know what it is. I spend so much time
building each weekend up in my mind, maybe I give it a bit TOO much
build-up, you know?"
"Is there anything more you would like me to do?" Ophelia asked.
"Oh- seriously, you've done WAY too much for me already," I laughed. "I
really wish I could repay you somehow."
"You ARE reimbursing me," Ophelia urged me. "Every assignment I
complete, every passing grade I achieve brings me closer to my ultimate
goal."
"University," I whispered. "God... That would be SO amazing. Living away
from home, having the opportunity to be who I wanted, when I wanted,
where I wanted..."
"There is no reason why you couldn't go as well," Ophelia said softly.
"Your assignment scores are satisfactory, are they not?"
"They're okay," I shrugged. "Reckon if I worked hard and applied next
year, I'd stand a good chance of getting on a photography course."
"Then what is preventing you?" Ophelia asked.
"...Because I don't know whether it'd be 'Jason' or 'Jacinta' who went,"
I confessed.
"...You wish that you could attend university full-time as a woman?"
Ophelia asked.
"I wish I could attend EVERYTHING full-time as a woman," I laughed.
"Guess the reason I'm not so excited by- by all this is because I know
it'll end eventually."
"Then why don't you simply tell your father about Jacinta?" Ophelia
asked.
"Because he's the only family I have," I sigh. "And I'm the only family
he has. It's- it's too much of a risk."
"Surely if that is the case, then it would be more reason to tell him?"
Ophelia asked.
"I can see why you'd think that," I mumbled. "But ask yourself this- why
haven't you told your family about Ophelia?" I bit my lip as Ophelia
remained quiet, clearly affected by my question. "...Sorry, I know that
was a bit, you know, close to the bone. Didn't want to say 'below the
belt'..."
"You are right," Ophelia said, before suddenly reaching underneath her
bed and pulling out her laptop, sitting cross-legged on the floor as she
booted it up.
"Umm... What are you doing?" I asked, confused by my friend's sudden
antisocial behaviour. "I'm kinda still in the room, you know."
"I know," Ophelia said as she opened up a website.
"...Finally signing up for Facebook?" I asked, earning a stern stare
from the brown-haired girl.
"I would rather skin myself," Ophelia spat. "I am browsing to the
government's deed poll website. I am consigning the name 'Mandy Lowe' to
history, where it belongs."
"...So you're really going to be known as 'Ophelia Lowe'?" I asked,
earning another stern stare from my friend.
"I have as little connection to the name 'Lowe' as I do the name
'Mandy'," Ophelia snorted. "I already know what my new surname shall be.
I've known my entire life what I wished it to be."
"...And?" I asked.
"My name shall be Ophelia... Love," my friend explained.
"That's even worse than 'I feel you low'," I commented, earning a punch
in my shin.
"When I was younger," Ophelia said, "I suffered greatly from dyslexia. I
had difficulty telling certain letters from each other, certain words
from each other. My mother, of course, didn't care at all. Her attitude
is that I shouldn't need to read or write when I was destined to become
a single parent at the age of sixteen. But I was determined not to
resign myself to that fate. I wished to learn. It didn't come easy, but
I tried my hardest, and I did learn."
"Let me guess," I said. "One of the words you had difficulty telling
apart was 'Lowe' and 'Love'?" I'm forced to giggle as my deduction is
met by a very rare grin from my friend.
"You're very perceptive, has anyone ever told you that?" Ophelia asked.
"...Lucky guess," I mumbled. "And you've got a hell of a vocabulary for
someone with dyslexia."
"Because I refuse to allow my dyslexia to hold me back," Ophelia said in
a confident voice. "Just like I refuse to allow my family to hold me
back. Just like you should refuse to allow your biological sex to hold
you back."
"How do you think your mum will react?" I asked in a low, quiet voice.
"Or your sisters, when you tell them that your name is now 'Ophelia
Love'?"
"With scorn and ridicule," Ophelia spat. "The same way they have always
reacted to me. But as I said- I refuse to allow them to hold me back."
"...Are you saying that I shouldn't allow my dad to hold me back?" I
asked. "Worrying about how he'll react, I mean."
"How has your father always reacted to you?" Ophelia asked.
"...With unconditional love," I sighed.
"That doesn't sound like something you should be worried about," Ophelia
mused. "Nor should you be worried about 'Jacinta time' ending when it
doesn't have to. I found a blog online a few days ago."
"That's where you usually found them," I retorted, earning another punch
in my booted shin. "Was it Jamie-Lee Burke's? Because I already follow
her on just about every website ever."
"It was by a girl called Nicola Thomas," Ophelia said. "She is more or
less the same age as me. She began transitioning during this past May.
If Jamie-Lee Burke's blog can't give you confidence, then maybe Nicola
Thomas's can."
"...Confidence to do what, exactly?" I asked.
"To leave this room and show Jacinta to the world," Ophelia said.
"Well... Okay then," I sighed. "But only if you leave this room and show
Ophelia Love to the world at the same time as me."
"Deal," Ophelia said confidently, offering me her hand to shake.
Over the next few weeks, I read both Jamie-Lee's and Nikki's blogs,
gaining confidence with each word I read, and every time I set foot in
Ophelia's room, I was excited by the prospect of new 'Jacinta time'...
Only to find myself feeling oddly empty once dressed, and downright
miserable once 'Jacinta time' came to an end. 'Jason' would then spend
the next week going through life in a daze, wondering why 'he' had been
dealt the losing hand- why I had to be forced into a body that didn't
belong to me, and into a life I didn't want to live.
For weeks, it seemed like I would be stuck in this rut forever, with no
'breakthrough' in sight, only for salvation to suddenly come one day
when I was least expecting it.
"Hi, Ophelia!" I said with a giggle as my brown-haired friend sat down
opposite me in the college dining hall.
"Hello, J," Ophelia replied, using the genderless nickname we'd agreed
on for use in public.
"Good lesson?" I asked.
"It was educating," Ophelia answered. "We are studying the history of
skirts. Something I imagine would interest you..."
"Only if I can do a practical demonstration," I retorted to Ophelia's
teasing, making the brown-haired girl giggle. "Not that anything like
that will ever happen anytime soon."
"I would not be so sure," Ophelia said with a smug grin.
"Ophelia..." I said, before letting out a quiet sigh. "What have you
done?"
"It is not what I have done," Ophelia said confidently. "It is what WE
are about to do."
"Just- just keep explaining," I sighed. "Don't want to have to squeeze
it out of you..."
"As you are undoubtedly aware," Ophelia said, "this coming Thursday is
the 31st of October, or All Hallows' Eve, as it's better known."
"Or Halloween, as it's even better known," I said, before nodding as I
caught onto Ophelia's line of thinking. "And you're thinking I could,
what, have a repeat of last Halloween?"
"I was not suggesting that you contact that man with whom you made love,
no," Ophelia said.
"We gave each other a BJ whilst splattered on a bathroom floor," I
retorted. "Hardly 'making love'. And he was hardly a 'man', he was
barely older than I was."
"If you would kindly permit me to finish," Ophelia said with a stern
glare that immediately silenced me. "You yourself have said that it is
the one time each year when a boy is permitted to dress as a girl."
"Well- yes," I said. "But you yourself have said- in your opinion,
anyway- that there are three- ugh, what did you call them, 'levels' to
clothes? Regular clothes, uniforms and costumes."
"Yes...?" Ophelia asks.
"The last few weekends, I've been wearing clothes," I explained. "The
'top level' of your little ladder. If I went out on Thursday, I'd be in
a costume- the bottom rung of your ladder."
"Wearing ordinary women's clothing appeals to you more than wearing a
feminine costume?" Ophelia asked.
"As silly as it sounds... It kinda does," I confessed.
"It does not sound silly at all," Ophelia said with a supportive smile.
"Rather, it sounds like your desire to be a woman is based on a struggle
with your identity, instead of a more... 'Basic' desire."
"Thanks," I whispered. "Though I do, you know, kinda have those 'basic'
desires too, I'm only, you know, human..."
"Trust me, I know all about those 'basic' desires," Ophelia snorted, her
'posh' accent slowly making way for her natural one. "My family couldn't
be anymore 'basic' if they tried."
"And you reckon I might get those 'basic' desires fulfilled at this
party you want me to go to?" I asked.
"That is one possibility, yes," Ophelia said. "However, the vast
majority of people who will be attending this party are women."
"'Women'?" I asked with a sigh.
"Alright, they will mostly be 'girls'," Ophelia said. "And you have made
it clear in the past that girls do not have any effect on your 'basic'
desires."
"Correct," I said. "So what would I gain from going, exactly?"
"I'm very glad that you FINALLY asked," Ophelia said, giggling as I
stuck my tongue out at her. "What you would 'get' is the chance to
introduce 'Jacinta' to a dozen or so girls who have never met 'Jason'
before, and do not even know that he exists." My jaw dropped as I
realised the seriousness of what Ophelia was suggesting.
"...The chance to leave your bedroom and show Jacinta to the world," I
whispered, my heart starting to beat faster at the prospect.
"Precisely," Ophelia said, her smile wider and smugger than ever. "I
shall start work on our costumes immediately upon returning home."
"Thanks- thanks for this," I said, my own mouth stretched into a happy
grin.
"That's what friends are for," Ophelia said softly.
Not for the first time, I spent the rest of the week in a daze, but this
time, it was for a good reason- excitement and anticipation over what
Ophelia would whip up. With only two days to make the costumes and her
extremely limited budget, I tried to convince myself not to expect too
much, but every time I went into college to be met by her knowing grin,
I couldn't help but get more and more excited. But it wasn't just the
costume that excited me- it was the hope that maybe, just maybe I would
stop feeling like a man in a dress, and start feeling like a real girl,
just as I had twelve months earlier- and that maybe I wouldn't need a
man to 'help' me feel that way. As much as I might have wanted the
'help' of a cute guy...
Finally, by the evening of Thursday the 31st of October, I was almost
literally bouncing with excitement as I accompanied Ophelia on the
lengthy walk from our college to her house.
"I take it then that you are looking forward to the party?" Ophelia
asked.
"Just a bit!" I replied, making my friend smile. "How- is, umm, is the
costume, you know..."
"All ready and waiting for a beautiful young woman to don it," Ophelia
said with a confident smile. "I truly believe that you will find the
costume to be VERY much to your liking!"
"I don't doubt it!" I giggled.
And I was right not to doubt it. The second I set foot in Ophelia's
room, my jaw dropped when I saw what was hanging on her wardrobe door.
Even though to all intents and purposes, it was a plain, long-sleeved,
floor-length black dress, to me, it was sexier and more feminine than a
hundred cheerleader outfits.
"First," Ophelia said, removing a carrier bag from underneath her bed,
"you must don these."
"Okay..." I say as I looked in the bag at the underwear within- though
some of the garments looked like they had left Ophelia's 'clothing'
category and belonged to the engineering department of our college.
First came a pair of highly elasticated shorts, which not only flattened
my crotch but added extra shape to my hips and my backside. Next came a
pair of sheer black tights, to match the dress, and third was a black
cotton bra with 'inserts' sewn into each cup to give me a very feminine
figure. The final item in the bag, though, would be what would give me a
totally feminine figure- and would spark a lifelong obsession for my
BFF.
"This," Ophelia explained as she wrapped the stiff black garment around
my waist, "is called a waist clincher. It is a type of corset, and will
give you a narrow waist to match your hips, your posterior and your
chest."
"Okay," I said, before grunting as Ophelia gently laced the corset
tighter and tighter. "How- how tight does this thing get?"
"How tight would you like it to get?" Ophelia asked.
"...This tight will be fine," I said, making Ophelia giggle as I pulled
the dress on over my head and stepped into the 4" stiletto-heeled shoes
Ophelia had supplied me.
My make-up came next- obviously, as it was Halloween, my make-up wasn't
what you would call 'subtle'. Pale foundation was followed by thick
black eyeliner, eyeshadow and mascara, and blood-red lipstick completed
my look. Well, before Ophelia produced a set of 3 inch long false black
fingernails, anyway, but I was instructed not to put them on until I was
ready to leave.
However, fingernails or no fingernails, when I examined myself in the
mirror, I almost gasped at the sight. I was still tall and broad-
shouldered, just as I had been the previous year, but I certainly didn't
give off the vibe of a 'man in a dress'. I was very much a womanly
woman. With subtler make-up, I could even have worn this outfit to a
regular, non-Halloween party.
I was more happy and more excited than I had ever been in my entire
life... And then Ophelia revealed her costume for the party, and my
happiness and excitement were quickly replaced by shock and disbelief.
"...What. The. Fuck?" I asked as Ophelia removed her costume from her
wardrobe.
"Surely you didn't think that I would not be wearing a costume,
Jacinta?" Ophelia asked as she stripped down to her bra and her panties,
before sitting down in front of her dressing table with her make-up kit.
"'Costume', yes, but- but this!?" I exclaimed. "And since when did you
wear make-up?"
"Since today," Ophelia announced. "Wearing that outfit is a source of
pleasure to you, is it not? As it is with that make-up, I assume?"
"Well- yes, yes it is..." I mumbled.
"Then if you can derive pleasure from dressing in a feminine manner,"
Ophelia said, "it surely stands to reason that I, as a person fortunate
enough to have been born female, would also derive pleasure from being
able to dress in such a manner?"
"I'm not sure you've got a grasp of how this whole 'transvestitism'
thing works," I retorted. "Also, that only applies if what you're
wearing is actual, you know, clothing."
"I explained to you my theory of my three levels of clothing," Ophelia
said as she, much to my shock, removed a pair of contact lenses,
replacing them with a pair that caused her irises to appear a bright
white colour.
"Yes, and this only barely fits the category of 'costume'," I said. "And
since when do you wear contacts?"
"Since I was thirteen," Ophelia said with a smug grin, before applying
an even thicker layer of make-up than my own. "Just because my mother
dislikes me wearing spectacles, it doesn't mean that I will wear them
simply to spite her when I also dislike wearing them. And as for my
costume, it goes into the fourth level of attire- clothing worn solely
to induce pleasure in yourself."
"...So this is a 'wank suit'?" I asked, sighing as Ophelia rolled her
pinprick eyes at me.
"No, it is not a- what you just said," Ophelia snorted. "What it is, is
a way for me to truly express who 'Ophelia Love' truly is. Just as you
are expressing 'Jacinta Hanley's true identity."
"Well- okay, I guess..." I said with a grimace as I handed Ophelia her
costume. "Good job neither of us are legally allowed to drink alcohol,
peeing's going to be a challenge for both of us, I think!" Again,
Ophelia rolled her eyes as she stepped into the costume, a black catsuit
that seemed to be several sizes too small for her.
Fortunately, as it was made from a shiny lycra fabric, it easily
stretched to cover her petite feminine form, even if it left very little
to the imagination- not helped when Ophelia wasn't happy with the line
of her underwear showing through the catsuit, so she removed her
underwear. Even then, her 'camel toe' was bordering on the obscene.
"Hand me my waist clincher," Ophelia said, and I dutifully obliged,
little knowing exactly what impact this would have on my friend's life.
"Okay," I said. "Not that you need one, you've already got, you know, a
narrow waist and curves."
"It could be narrower and I could be curvier," Ophelia replied. "Now
please, tighten my laces."
"Now I see why I was banned from wearing the nails until I left," I said
as I reduced my friend's waist by three inches. "There."
"Can it go tighter?" Ophelia asked.
"Well, yes, but-" I replied, before being abruptly cut off.
"Tighter," Ophelia said, grunting as I reduced another inch from her
waist. "Tighter."
"If I go any tighter, I'm probably going to snap your spine in half," I
retorted, to which Ophelia simply nodded.
"Tighter," Ophelia ordered, letting out a moan of pain as I pulled the
laces in even further. "Tighter."
"The back panels are locked shut," I said. "I don't think it will
physically go any tighter."
"Then next week," Ophelia announced, "I shall buy a smaller corset. Hand
me my measuring tape, please." I nodded as I handed Ophelia the
instrument from her bed, before sighing as she wrapped it around her new
tiny waist. "Good, twenty inches, just as the manufacturer promised."
"How has your stomach not been squeezed out of your arse?" I asked,
making Ophelia roll her eyes yet again.
"Hush," My brown-haired friend commanded as she reached into her
wardrobe for a pair of bicep-length gloves that seemed to be made of a
shiny black latex-like material, followed by a pair of thigh-length
boots of a similar material that had a six inch platform heel. After
stretching her catsuit's tight hood over her head, Ophelia turned to
face me.
"Are you ready?" The sixteen year old girl- who barely looked human
anymore- asked.
"God, are you?" I retorted.
"I shall take that as a 'yes'," Ophelia said as she carefully made her
way down the stairs, closely followed by me. "We are heading to the
party now, we shall be back later."
"Yeah, whatever," Ophelia's mother replied, not even getting off her
sofa to look at our costumes. Suddenly, I felt very guilty about my
earlier criticism of my friend's costume.
"Ophelia..." I whispered as we left the squalid home.
"You heard what my mother said," Ophelia said, not even trying to
disguise the bitterness in her voice. "'Whatever'."
"I- I'm sorry," I mumbled.
"For what?" Ophelia asked. "You have shown me nothing but love and
friendship over the course of these past few weeks."
"And I took the piss out of your costume," I said.
"You will not be the last person tonight to do that," Ophelia said
stoically as we slowly- due to the height of my friend's heels- made our
way to the party venue. "What do you know of the girls with whom we
shall be partying tonight?"
"Umm... They're on the same course as you?" I replied. "That's about it,
really."
"They are on the same course as me," Ophelia said. "Fashion designer.
They keep up with all the latest trends, the latest labels, they idolise
celebrity culture and all things plastic."
"...So why are WE hanging out with them tonight?" I asked. "I mean, no
offence if you think otherwise, but I always got the impression that we
were kinda the oddballs at college."
"I very much doubt that I myself shall be doing much hanging out
tonight," Ophelia said. "It is you who shall get to interact with the
girls- girl to girl." Tears began to form in the corner of my eyes as I
realised the enormity of the gift that Ophelia had given me. She knew
she'd spend the evening being ridiculed by her so-called 'friends'- but
that would be no different than any other evening in the Lowe household.
The difference was that I would be there- and next to Ophelia, in her
exotic 'costume', I looked just like any other girl... An ordinary girl.
"Hug incoming," I said with a grin, making my friend spit with disgust.
"Get it over with," Ophelia said, grimacing as I gave her a tight
embrace.
"You know," I said smugly, "with this corset it's REALLY easy to hug
you. I could, like, cuddle you with two hands, let alone two arms!"
"Yes, thank you," Ophelia sighed as I let her go.
"Is it done up so tight so that it feels like someone's hugging you all
the time, only they don't actually have to touch you?" I asked, giggling
as Ophelia moaned with frustration all the way to her 'friend's house.
When we arrived, I allowed Ophelia to knock on the door, and when it
opened, I immediately began to realise what my friend was talking about
when she'd described her 'friends'.
"Oh, um, hi, Amanda!" The girl said, looking at my friend's costume in a
state of near-shock. The girl herself- who was clearly no older than
sixteen, like Ophelia- was dressed in what might be called a 'cat
costume', if cats had a habit of going everywhere in a bikini, furry
mittens and Ugg boots.
"Hello, Chloe," Ophelia replied, letting herself into the posh house.
"This is my friend Jacinta, who I said would be accompanying me
tonight."
"Hi..." I said, nervously greeting Chloe with a gentle hug. "Thanks for
letting me come along tonight, I REALLY didn't want to spend Halloween
alone!"
"No problem!" Chloe giggled, clearly feeling more at ease around me than
she did around Ophelia. "Are there, like, no girls on your course you
can hang out with? Or, like... No, you know, 'boys'?"
"...None I'd want to spend any time with," I replied. Not dressed like
this, I thought to myself. Or speaking like this, or acting like this...
"Ugh, I SO get that," Chloe laughed, leading the two of us into her
living room where the party was already in full swing. "And I LOVE that
witch costume! Where'd you get it?"
"From my super-talented BFF!" I gushed, causing Ophelia to blush
underneath her extra-thick make-up. "Seriously, Ophelia is SO cool."
"...If you say so," Chloe said. "Help yourselves to drinks, it's just us
girls here at the moment but I've been reliably informed by my boyfriend
that there'll be some guys along soon to trick or 'treat' us, if you get
what I mean, hehe!"
"Thanks," I said as I grabbed a bottle of a strong-smelling alcoholic
soda from the table and sat down on the sofa, keeping my knees pressed
tightly together.
Mere seconds later, as Ophelia carefully browsed the drinks selection, I
was joined on the sofa by a Playboy Bunny in fishnet tights, who seemed
to be having a lot of difficulty keeping her costume up over her boobs.
"Hey," the bunny said. "You're, like, Amanda's friend, right?"
"Ophelia's friend," I corrected the rabbit.
"Amanda, Ophelia, whatever," the bunny snorted. "The weird girl who
wears weird clothes."
"...Yes, yes I am her friend," I said.
"Like, what's her problem?" The bunny sneered. "She, like, goes
everywhere by herself, or with that weird gay friend of hers. She wears
weird clothes and hardly talks to anyone, and now she's here, dressed
like THAT... What's with her?" Oddly, even though I knew that when the
bunny said 'weird gay friend', she was referring to me- or rather, to
Jason- it was the way she spoke about Ophelia that caused me to take the
most offence. How DARE she speak about such a kind and loving person in
such a way, just because she chooses to be different from everyone else!
How DARE she imply that by being the person she was, Ophelia was somehow
less than her, or anyone else!
"Ophelia," I said, trying in vain to keep calm, "is cool. She's had to
overcome a lot in her life, and she's still kind, warm and friendly."
"Okay! Jeez!" The bunny protested. "Like, are your knickers ACTUALLY
twisted or something?"
"...No," I mumbled as I calmed down. "But- you know? She's my friend.
Actually, she's my BFF. I'm gonna stick up for her if someone puts her
down, you know?"
"Sorry I breathed," the bunny spat as she stood up, uneasy on her heels
and walked away.
"That was Hayley," Ophelia said as she gingerly- due to her extra-tight
corset- lowered herself into the seat the bunny had just vacated. "She
is one of the more... 'Trendy' girls on my course."
"Beginning to think that 'trendy' and 'friendly' are mutually
exclusive," I snorted.
"Not always," Ophelia said with a smile. "But when it comes to this
college... You're probably right."
"I still don't know why we're even here," I mumbled. "We stick out like
a sore thumb."
"We were invited," Ophelia reminded me.
"That's probably WHY we were invited," I scoffed. "To make everyone else
feel better about themselves."
"If that's what they want to do, then fine," Ophelia said. "But it
doesn't mean that we have to feel worse about OURselves."
"...You're right," I said, earning a rare grin from my BFF.
"And did Hayley, at any point, ask why a boy was dressed as a witch?"
Ophelia asked.
"...She didn't," I replied, my eyes lighting up.
"Then this party, so far, is a success," Ophelia confidently announced.
"MISS Hanley!" I smiled as the two of us rose from our sofa to refresh
our drinks, before mingling with the rest of the growing crowd.
Every girl I spoke to at that party asked me the same thing- 'what's
with Ophelia?'. Or rather, 'what's with Amanda?'. Every time I heard the
question, I had to take several deep breaths to calm myself, but every
time the girl who asked the question walked away, clearly offended by my
refusal to insult my friend, a smile from Ophelia reminded me of the
most important thing- that I hadn't been clocked, that I was just
another one of the girls.
Soon, the party got into full swing as we were joined by a gaggle of
boys from our college, each of whom soon found their way to one of the
girls in the room- or rather, one of the other girls in the room. I
flirted with my fair share of the boys, some of whom were even as tall
as I was in my heels, but it was strictly on a 'look, but don't touch'
basis. I didn't even get so much as a snog from any of them, let alone
the 'activity' I got the previous Halloween... But that was okay with
me, as none of the boys were able to 'clock' me either- or if they did,
it didn't stop them from flirting with me. For one night only, I wasn't
just a girl, I was a cute girl... And I wanted so, so much more.
Eventually, the boys and the girls paired off, and I found myself
'paired' with Ophelia as she took my hand in hers and led us toward the
exit.
"I believe it is time for us to depart," Ophelia said, clearly sweating
and uncomfortable in the heat of the room and the tightness of her
costume.
"You're probably right," I sighed. "Though I did have SO much fun
tonight..."
"I will be sure to pass your compliments onto Chloe tomorrow," Ophelia
said. "Assuming she comes into college, of course."
"Yeah, that might be a long shot," I giggled as we stepped out into the
cold October air and I took several deep breaths to clear my head.
"Did you enjoy this year's Halloween more than last year's?" Ophelia
asked.
"You know, I actually did," I chuckled. "Even though last year ended in
sex- well, kinda... And I was in drag last year too- again, kinda...
This year was still better. Wish I knew why..."
"Because last year, you were Jason, and this year, you are Jacinta,"
Ophelia said confidently.
"I guess," I said with a grin. "Still minus a 'Prince Charming',
though..."
"Someday, Jacinta, your prince WILL come," Ophelia said softly.
"I guess," I sighed. "I'd just prefer him to be somewhere near me when
he DOES come..." I giggled as Ophelia gave me a playful punch in the arm
to tell me off for my crude joke.
"You are the wittiest woman in the world," Ophelia sighed as we turned
onto the street containing my house.
"How- how about you, Ophelia?" I asked my friend. "See any guy at the
party who caught your eye? Whatever's passing for your eye tonight,
anyway..."
"No, I did not," Ophelia replied, triggering an awkward pause in the
conversation.
"You know," I mused, "I don't think I've ever heard you even mention a
boy, like, ever. It's like, I dunno, you're completely disinterested in
them or something."
"Perhaps I am," Ophelia said.
"Because of your family?" I whispered.
"Partly," Ophelia whispered. "I- I don't want to discuss this, J. I'm
sorry."
"No, no, I'm sorry for pushing too hard," I sighed, leading to another
awkward silence. "...They're still calling you 'Amanda', then? At
college, I mean?"
"I haven't put through the deed poll application yet," Ophelia mumbled.
"I'm- I'm kinda scared about what my parents will say..."
"I thought you were doing this precisely as a 'fuck you' to your
parents?" I said, grimacing as Ophelia regarded me with an angry glare.
"No, I am doing this so that I can finally be who I always wanted to
be," Ophelia said. "Your desire to transition is not a- is not a
reaction to your parents, and nor is mine."
"Sometimes feels like it is, though," I sighed as I cupped the fake
breasts on my chest and the extra padding on my hips. "Especially to
dad, taking away the only family he has left... And to my mum, too."
"How so?" Ophelia asked, leaving my jaw hanging loose as I was lost for
words.
"Umm, this is my house!" I chuckled as I pointed behind me at my home.
"No lights on, so dad's in bed, that'll make things a LOT easier getting
in, heh."
"Please answer my question, Jacinta," Ophelia asked in a soft whisper.
"I can tell it is important to you."
"I- umm, I, umm..." I mumbled. "Look, it's dark, your house is about
half a mile away, I- you shouldn't walk home by yourself, come in and
I'll call you a taxi, okay? I'll pay for it. My treat, after what you
did for me today."
"Very well," Ophelia said with a smile as she followed me into my house-
the first time she had ever set foot (albeit a suicidally high-heeled
foot) in my home. "Your house... Is lovely."
"It's small and cramped," I said with a snort of laughter.
"Remember to whom you are talking," Ophelia whispered, once again making
me feel guilty.
"Sorry," I mumbled. "I know I should be grateful for what I've got.
That's not always easy, though... Do- do you want a cup of tea?"
"Desperately," Ophelia said, making us both giggle as I put the kettle
on. "The lady in the photographs... Is that your mother?"
"Yep," I sighed sadly. "Amelia Eileen Hanley, 1967-2002. I make a point
of looking at her picture every day, so that her image stays fresh in my
mind... I know dad does, too."
"She is beautiful," Ophelia said softly. "And looks a lot like her
daughter."
"Her dau-" I retorted, taking several seconds to realise that by
'daughter', Ophelia was actually referring to me. "Huh. Maybe a
little... You know- god, this will sound morbid..."
"It is the correct evening for it, is it not?" Ophelia asked, making me
chuckle and roll my eyes.
"Leave the bad jokes to me," I scoffed, making my BFF giggle. "That urn
by the side of the fire- those are actually her ashes. Dad never lets
them out of his sight for longer than he has to." Much to my confusion,
Ophelia immediately returned to the living room and carefully knelt down
in front of mum's urn.
"Hello, Mrs. Hanley," Ophelia softly whispered. "My name is Ophelia
Love, and I am your daughter's best friend. Your daughter is a
wonderful, kind and beautiful human being, and I am proud to call her my
friend."
"Umm, okay," I said, hastily blinking tears out of my eyes. "I guess if
nothing else, mum would be proud of me for having good taste in friends,
heh."
"She would be proud of you for being a beautiful and warm-hearted young
woman," Ophelia said, making me blush and shed yet more tears.
"You know..." I mumbled. "I'm really, really... Not interested in you
sexually OR romantically. I mean, if you had a penis, and you lost the
boobs, then maybe-"
"Shut up and serve me my tea," Ophelia ordered, making us both giggle
again.
"You're right," I sighed. "About mum. I reckon she'd have loved to have
had a daughter, and if it hadn't been for the cancer, I'd have at least
one younger sibling right now."
"Other than me, you mean?" Ophelia asked, making me shed yet another
tear.
"...God job I'm about to wash my mascara off, heh!" I said, making
Ophelia smile sadly. "I'll, um, I'll call you that taxi now..."
"No rush," Ophelia whispered as I reached for the house phone.
"Jacinta... There is another reason I haven't filled in the deed poll
form yet. I- I want a middle name."
"You don't already have one?" I asked.
"I want a middle name that ISN'T 'Lulu'," my BFF retorted. "And I can't
really afford to keep sending off deed poll forms. I want to get this
RIGHT. Right first time. Have you ever thought about what your middle
name would be? When you become Jacinta, I mean."
"I like that you say 'when' instead of 'if'," I whispered. "And it'd be
'Amelia', my middle name. No question."
"To honour your mother," Ophelia said with a smile. "My own mother
deserves no such honour. Nor do any of my sisters."
"Well it's up to you," I shrugged. "If you're going to choose your own
name, it should reflect who you really are, deep inside. 'Ophelia' and
'Love' definitely do that."
"As do 'Jacinta' and 'Amelia' for you," Ophelia replied as the taxi firm
answered the phone and I arranged her ride home. "I'm afraid I don't
know enough about the origin of the surname 'Hanley' to pass judgement."
"I looked it up a while back," I replied. "It's apparently Irish, short
from 'O'Hanley'. Means 'beauty' or 'grace'."
"So it DOES reflect who you are, then," Ophelia whispered, bringing
another tear to my eye.
"...Drink your tea, your taxi will be here soon," I mumbled. Mere
minutes later, the taxi arrived, and I made sure to escort my still-
black clad friend to the car, just to make sure that she was okay.
"Jacinta," Ophelia said as she suddenly looked up. "What is that?"
"...It's the sky," I replied, earning a firm punch in my bicep from my
friend.
"I mean those five stars!" Ophelia sighed, before giggling at her own
frustration. "Do they have a name?"
"I believe that's the constellation Cassiopeia," I said. "Why, exactly?"
"Ophelia Cassiopeia Love," my friend suddenly said, extending her gloved
hand for me to shake. "It is a pleasure to meet you."
"Jacinta Amelia Hanley," I replied, gently shaking my 'new' friend's
hand. "Likewise."
"I shall see you tomorrow at college, Jacinta Amelia Hanley!" Ophelia
said with another giggle as she got into the car, waving at me as she
was driven away.
With a loud sigh, I returned to the house, where I smiled sadly as my
eyes were drawn to mum's urn beside the fire. Just as my friend had done
minutes earlier, I knelt down in front of it, smoothing my dress over my
lap as I lowered myself.
"...So, that was Ophelia," I whispered. "And I guess... I'm your
daughter. In fairness, the clues were always there, having only female
friends at primary school. And secondary school. And now college. And
the fact that I'm only attracted to men- not that that means a whole
lot, I guess... And the fact that I love wearing women's clothes, and
make-up, and I think like a woman, and- gah, mum... I really wish you
were here. If just to shut me up. How about this- if I'm making the
wrong decision, if I'm not meant to be a woman, just give me a sign. Any
sign." I paused briefly and held my breath in the silence of the room,
almost expecting there to be a sign- but of course, no sign was
forthcoming.
"...Thanks, mum," I whispered, leaning forward to give the top of the
urn a gentle kiss before removing my high-heeled shoes and carefully
tiptoeing to my bedroom.
As I removed my make-up and my clothes, though, I was overcome by an
overwhelming wave of sadness, like I didn't want the night to end- and
that was precisely because I didn't. I'd tasted a world of pure
femininity, where I was just another one of the girls, and I wanted
more, so much more. I wanted the padding on my chest to magically become
real breasts. I wanted the padding on my hips to be flesh and blood, I
wanted the falsetto I'd been using all evening to be my real voice and I
wanted me- I wanted me to be the REAL me. Not Jason 'natural born loser'
Hanley, but Jacinta 'beauty and grace' Hanley. Just like my best friend
wanted to be the real her- not Mandy 'cycle of poverty' Lowe, but
Ophelia 'smart, creative and unique' Love.
However, just like Ophelia's family weren't going to let her go without
a fight, the sound of dad's snoring from the other room reminded me that
there were always going to be obstacles that would prevent 'Jacinta'
from being as real as I wished she was...
The following morning, I dragged myself into college while trying to
fight off my very first hangover. Nonetheless, I had a smile on my face
all throughout the morning, a smile that widened when I saw my best
friend in the cafeteria- even if it took me a while to recognise her.
"...Ophelia?" I asked as I sat down next to the brown-haired girl.
"You were expecting someone else?" My BFF retorted.
"Well I usually sit next to someone who doesn't wear extra-thick make-
up," I replied. "Or any make-up at all. Or a very tightly laced corset
over her dress. Are- are you feeling alright?"
"You of all people should appreciate that a person can change," Ophelia
said, before letting out a long sigh. "J... Last night- last night, when
I arrives back at my home, my mother was waiting up for me."
"Okay...?" I asked.
"She took one look at my costume and laughed like a donkey," Ophelia
spat. "She thought that because I wasn't dressed like a prostitute, I
deserved to be ridiculed. She didn't care that I made the costume
myself, she only cared about whether or not I would become a baby
factory like her."
"I- I'm sorry," I mumbled. "Are- are you okay?"
"Better than okay," Ophelia said with a smile. "Now I know that nothing
I do will ever please her. Therefore, I no longer need to care about
what she thinks. Or what anyone else thinks, either. I want to be my own
person. I want to be Ophelia Cassiopeia Love. If that means wearing no
make-up, then so be it. If it means wearing excessive make-up, then so
be it."
"And a torturously tight corset?" I asked, making my friend roll her
eyes.
"This from the GIRL who's still wearing HER hip and backside pads,"
Ophelia retorted, making me blush as I squirmed under the tight embrace
of my underwear.
"Okay, touch?," I sighed. "Are these easy to wash, by the way? I- I
kinda want to wear it as much as I can..."
"To bring you closer to being Jacinta," Ophelia whispered. "Just as my
corset brings me closer to being Ophelia."
"If you say so," I said with a smile. "I still reckon you're in danger
of pooping out all your internal organs, though."
"Normally I would punch you for that," Ophelia said as we rose from our
seats and prepared to head back to class. "However, I have been informed
of what you said at the party last night, to Hayley and to the other
girls."
"Okay..." I said. "Umm, and?"
"And," Ophelia said with a wide grin. "Prepare to be hugged." I stood in
shock as Ophelia wrapped her arms around my torso and gave me as tight a
squeeze as her slender arms could manage.
"Umm..." I mumbled. "Everyone- everyone's kinda looking."
"Do you care?" Ophelia asked. Naturally, the only reply I had was to
giggle and hug Ophelia right back as the entire cafeteria stared in a
mixture of disbelief and disgust.
Over the next few weeks, Ophelia and I began to noticeably change, both
in appearance and attitude. We were virtually inseparable wherever we
went, and whilst this was usually just Ophelia's bedroom, on occasion-
when Ophelia's mother or sisters weren't around- we ventured out of the
house too, with me of course only wearing 'Jacinta's clothing. 'My'
wardrobe grew to include more skirts, more dresses, more girly tops and
bodysuits and plenty of underwear- all of which was, of course,
'padded', and a lot of it I wore underneath 'Jason's clothes too so that
I didn't have to let go of the 'feel' of Jacinta. I even wore my corset
a few times- both underneath 'Jacinta' and 'Jason's clothes!
Ophelia's change, though, was even more dramatic than my own. She wore
her corset almost 24/7, always lacing it down to at least 22 inches, and
her make-up style became even more eccentric, mixing colours of eye
shadows and lipsticks so much that she often looked psychedelic. She
began styling her long hair into elaborate braids, and always wore
brightly-coloured or elaborately-patterned tights with her dresses
instead of the usual sheer black tights that all the other girls (and
'Amanda' in years past) wore. When I say 'other girls', I of course
include myself in that category!
Eventually, the end of the first term at college rolled around, and
brought with it two important occasions. One of those occasions was
obviously Christmas time, but eight days beforehand was Ophelia's
birthday, and even though she had insisted that I shouldn't do anything
special- or anything at all- for the day, I felt that I owed her so much
for what she'd done throughout the year that I bought her a couple of
gifts anyway.
Little did I realise that by doing so, I would do more harm than good.
In 2013, Ophelia's birthday fell on a Tuesday, so after college, on the
pretense of working on our assignments together, I followed Ophelia back
to her home. I didn't know what to expect when she opened her front
door- at the very least, I would've expected a few cards to be on the
mantlepiece, or a cake, but instead there was... Nothing. The Lowe
'family' hadn't even put up any Christmas decorations, despite it being
December 17th, and Ophelia's mother's only reaction to her daughter
returning home from college was to grunt, before turning her full
attention back to the trashy reality TV show she was watching.
"Umm... Ophelia?" I whispered as my friend led me straight up the stairs
and into the bedroom that had become our sanctum over the previous few
months.
"We should get on with our work," Ophelia said, and as hard as she tried
to make her voice stoic, I could tell that on the inside, she was
suffering.
"But- but your birthday..." I mumbled.
"What about it?" Ophelia asked, tears welling in the corners of her
eyes. "I don't- I don't feel like celebrating, J. I'm sorry."
"...Do you really feel that way?" I asked in as soft a voice as I could
manage. "Umm, what I mean is, is it YOU that feels-" Before I could
finish my sentence, I was interrupted by Ophelia wrapping her arms
tightly around me and squeezing me as hard as she could whilst bawling
her eyes out onto my chest. I tried my best to comfort my friend, but
her behaviour was so uncharacteristic for her that all I could do was
stand in a state of shock until she was calm enough to sit down on her
bed.
"Umm," I mumbled. "We- we should do some work..."
"No- no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Ophelia sniffled.
"Do- do you want to talk about it?" I asked.
"More than anything," Ophelia sighed. "You know, I've never actually had
a birthday present, not a single one? Mum always said 'my birthday's too
close to Christmas', and 'I should be grateful for what I get then'."
"Ophelia..." I whispered, shocked by what I was being told.
"And even then," Ophelia moaned, "all I get are a few pairs of underwear
and a packet of fags. And I don't even smoke! My sisters usually end up
nicking them."
"That- that's awful," I said, wrapping an arm around my friend and only
realising a few moments later that even though I'd hugged her without
warning, Ophelia wasn't complaining.
"It's okay, it's okay," Ophelia moaned.
"It's hardly okay," I said, pulling the bag of gifts out of my backpack.
"These- these are yours. It's not much, but-" Again, I was silenced mid-
sentence as Ophelia gave me another long, tight hug.
"Thank you so much," Ophelia said, wiping a tear from her eye. "You
know, every year, there's always a piece of me, deep down inside that
tries to persuade me that this year, this birthday will be different..."
"This year, it was," I whispered, earning another hug from my best
friend as she 'unwraps' her presents. "It's just stuff you mentioned you
wanted, a few different-coloured lipsticks, some make-up... Got some
interesting looks in Boots when I went in there to buy them. The looks
got even weirder when I said that they were for me, heh."
"Hehe," Ophelia giggled as she rooted through the make-up for a mascara
brush, which she used to repair the make-up that was destroyed by her
tears.
"There are some fake eyelashes in there too," I said. "I didn't know how
you felt about them, whether they were TOO fake... I tried them out
myself, though, and they ARE good. Might be a fake eyelash girl for
life, heh."
"Show me," Ophelia commanded, making me giggle as I took a pair of the
fake eyelashes from the pile on her bed and gently teased them to my own
lashes, giggling as I playfully batted my eyelashes as my friend.
"Thank you," Ophelia whispered, taking several deep breaths to try to
compose herself. "I am terribly sorry that I burdened you with my
problems, Jacinta. I feel thoroughly embarrassed at acting the way I
did."
"Don't," I said. "I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed things the way I
did, forced you to celebrate your birthday when it's a sensitive thing
for you."
"I am glad that you did," Ophelia said with a grin. "Now, shall we get
on with our work?"
"Of course," I said, having learned better than to argue further.
For the next two hours, we completed college assignments, which happily
for me involved modelling several of Ophelia's creations as she altered
them, before the time came for me to pack away my books and get ready to
leave.
"Jacinta..." Ophelia said with a sly grin as she repeatedly blinked at
me.
"Ophelia...?" I asked, before rolling my eyes and removing my fake
eyelashes. "God... Really wish I didn't have to take these off..."
"Then I know what I shall be getting you for Christmas," Ophelia said
with a smug grin. "Speaking of which, when do you want to get together
to exchange presents?" I opened my mouth to begin to respond, but before
I could say a word, I was overwhelmed by the thought of what Christmas
in the Lowe household would be like, with Ophelia facing indifference
and ridicule from her so-called mother and her so-called sisters... And
after all she's done for me, she deserves at least some happiness.
"...How about next Wednesday?" I asked with a sly smile.
"Next Wed-" Ophelia replied. "But- but that's-"
"Christmas Day," I said.
"Do you not spend that day with family?" Ophelia asked.
"Only dad," I shrugged. "He'll be happy with you coming around, I know
he will. He's been miserable every Christmas since- since mum, you
know..."
"I would be honoured to accept your gracious invitation," Ophelia said,
making me smile as I gave my friend one final hug before heading home.
In actuality, dad took some persuading, but was ultimately happy to
share Christmas with Ophelia. Just after 10am on the 25th of December-
after opening my predictably disappointing presents of clothes, shaving
kits and deodorants- a knock came at our front door, which I answered to
find my best friend stood holding a bag full of presents.
"Merry Christmas, Jacinta," Ophelia said with a genuine grin.
"Merry Christmas, Ophelia," I replied. "Hug?"
"As it is a special occasion, then yes, we can hug," Ophelia replied,
smiling as we shared a brief cuddle.
"Don't leave her out in the cold, Jase!" Dad yelled from the living
room.
"...Come in," I said, chuckling as Ophelia entered the house, removing
her extra-tall high heeled shoes and long, patchwork coat to reveal a
short gingham dress, her usual elaborately patterned tights and, of
course, an extra-tight corset around her waist. "You look... Great."
"I look like Ophelia Cassiopeia Love," my friend replied. "'Greatness'
has nothing to do with it."
"If you say so," I said as I opened the living room door, causing dad's
eyes to go wide as he saw Ophelia- and her royal blue coloured make-up-
for the first time.
"He- hello," dad said, cautiously standing up and approaching my friend.
"You- you must be Aman-"
"Ophelia Cassiopeia Love," my friend said, giving my dad a light
handshake. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Hanley."
"...Mike will be fine," dad mumbled. "So you- you know Jason from
college, right? You um, know that he's-"
"I am fully aware of the situation regarding your son," Ophelia said,
giving me a wink to let me know that she actually knew more than dad
himself did!
"I'm the 'gay best friend'," I explained. "Ophelia and I... We, um, we
'help' each other."
"Like those three girls you hung around with primary school?" Dad asked
with a smile that widened as I nodded in confirmation. "Well, as long as
you're a friend of Jason's you're a friend of mine. Come on, I'll get
you a drink. What d'you want?"
"Whatever you have to offer will be fine, thank you," Ophelia said,
sitting down next to me on the sofa as dad headed into the kitchen.
"Your father is delightful."
"He's okay," I shrugged. "I doubt he'd be okay if he saw the contents of
that bag of presents in the hall, though."
"You might be surprised," Ophelia said with a grin.
"Did- did you get away okay?" I asked. "From home, I mean."
"I doubt mum will even notice that I'm gone," Ophelia spat as dad
returned with tall glasses of sparkling wine for the three of us.
"I know you're only seventeen, both of you," dad said. "But I figure
it's Christmas, and one glass isn't going to kill you. If you'd rather
have something non-alcoholic-"
"This will be absolutely fine, thank you," Ophelia said, sipping her
wine. "Shall I bring in your presents?"
"You didn't have to get us anything!" Dad chuckled.
"Nonsense," Ophelia said. "You are my hosts, it is only fair that I
present to you a gift as a token of my esteem." As Ophelia left the room
to fetch her bag of gifts- and sort through the ones that were and
weren't 'dad-friendly', my father turned to me with a look of confusion
on his face.
"Is this the girl you've been hanging out with for the past few months?"
Dad asked.
"Yep," I replied. "Problem?"
"She- she's a bit weird, isn't she?" Dad asked.
"Yep," I replied. "Problem?"
"Well- none, nothing, I guess," dad said, before sighing. "I should've
known when you said you were bringing a girl home not to expect- well,
what I'd have meant if I said I was bringing a girl home."
"She's not exactly had an easy life," I said. "She- she just wants to
express herself. There's nothing wrong with that, right?"
"Well- I guess not," dad sighed. "As long as it doesn't hurt anyone
else, anyway." So much for getting my hopes up and dashing them, dad, I
thought to myself as I took a big sip of my sparkling wine.
"This is for you, mist- Mike," Ophelia said, handing a small, bottle-
shaped gift to dad. "And this is for you, Jason."
"Thanks," I said, opening the gift to find a small tub of men's hair gel
within- however, the rattling sound made by the tub when I shook it told
me not to expect men's hair gel when I opened it up, which I intended to
do later on.
"Aww, thanks, Ophelia!" Dad said as he opened his gift to find a small
bottle of whiskey. "I'm guessing that you had a family member buy this
for you, then?"
"Yes, my sister," Ophelia said.
"...Candice?" I whispered to my friend, who tried her hardest to
suppress a giggle.
"Who else?" Ophelia replied as I handed her her gift, which she opened
to find a bottle of dark blue hair dye. "This is perfect. Thank you very
much, Jason."
"Blue hair dye?" Dad asked. "Bit extreme, isn't it? Sorry, I don't mean
to criticise, but-"
"It is a desire to express myself," Ophelia explained. "Obviously, I was
not always called Ophelia Love. My name, at birth, was Mandy Lowe. But
that is a name I do not, and cannot associate with."
"...So as well as changing your name, you're changing, what your image
to match?" Dad asked.
"I am changing my image to match who I always was, deep down inside,"
Ophelia said, casting an aside glance at me to let me know that her
words were for my benefit alone. "Is it not a good thing to live the
life you always wanted, rather than pretending to be someone who you are
not and making yourself miserable?"
"...If it makes you happy, then who am I to judge?" Dad replied with a
shrug, bringing smiles to both my and my friend's faces. "Now come on,
need your help cooking dinner. Try not to get too much blue in it!"
"My pleasure, Mike," Ophelia said as we stood up and followed dad into
the kitchen.
The dinner was a success, of course, and all three of us had a great
time for the rest of the day as we talked and watched TV. By the time
7pm rolled around, it was time for Ophelia to leave- and as she was
putting her shoes and coat back on, I could see in her eyes (which were,
of course, covered by dark blue contact lenses) a look of reluctance I
was all too familiar with- it was the same look I had in my eyes every
time 'Jacinta time' came to an end.
"Thanks for coming," I said as Ophelia fastened her coat.
"No, thank YOU," Ophelia whispered. "This has been the best Christmas
ever."
"Until the next one," I said. "Hug?"
"Hug," Ophelia replied, giving me a gentle cuddle before making her way
back home through the dark and gloomy streets.
"You know," dad said as I returned to the living room, "she may look
weird but she's obviously got a heart of gold. I'm glad you've found a
girl like her, Jason."
"FRIEND like her," I said. "We're not an item. 'Incompatible' would be
putting it mildly!"
"Still waiting for a handsome prince to come and sweep you off your
feet?" Dad asked with a chuckle that turned into a full-blown laugh when
I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Maybe," I retorted.
"Well I do hope you find him," dad said with a grin. "There's enough
misery in this world. Now come on, we need to catch Doctor Who on
IPlayer, it's Matt Smith's last one before he turns into that Scottish
guy from that show with all the swearing."
"Maybe later," I said as I fiddled with the pot of 'hair gel' Ophelia
had given me, before remembering the bag of presents still sat out in
the hall. "I'm, umm, I'm going to head up to my room for a bit."
"Okay," dad shrugged. "You're doing the washing-up, though."
"I won't be long," I replied as I grabbed the 'hair gel' before taking
Ophelia's bag of presents up to my room, where I hastily unwrapped all
of them, sighing happily at what was inside- cosmetics, women's
underwear (including more of my 'special' underwear), even a bottle of
dark purple nail polish. I sighed happily as I spread the presents on my
bed, before finally twisting the top off of the 'hair gel' to find a
small, handwritten note inside.
'If you open the other presents in front of your father,' the note read,
'you'll get what you REALLY want for Christmas.'
"...You're probably right, Ophelia," I sighed. Dad's reaction to my
eccentric friend had been to shrug and go 'live and let live'- but that
was to another person's teenaged child. If I'd shown up in the living
room wearing what Ophelia had worn, he wouldn't have reacted as
calmly... But then again, if I'd shown up at Ophelia's house wearing
what Ophelia had worn, her mother would probably have reacted even
worse.
Nonetheless, I had myself a brand-new 'stash of Jacinta' available to me
at home whenever I wanted it, and based on that alone, it was already
the best Christmas I had ever had.
The 'stash' saw plenty of use over the Christmas holiday, not least on
New Year's Eve. With dad out of the house at a party, I'd been left
alone to do whatever I wanted, and this of course meant pulling on a
bra, a pair of hip and bum-enhancing underpants, a tightly-laced corset,
a pair of black tights, a long-sleeved top, a tight black miniskirt and
a pair of high-heeled shoes. I had applied a full face of make-up, and
I'd even painted my fingernails using the new nail polish Ophelia had
given me for Christmas.
Of course, sat next to me on my sofa was my BFF, who was dressed up just
as elaborately as she had been at Christmas, with the exception that her
hair was now, of course, a dark blue colour.
"How did your mum react to your hair, then?" I asked my friend,
grimacing as she scowled in response.
"How do you think?" Ophelia snorted. "But her scorn is all the more
reason TO dye my hair as I see fit."
"Damn right!" I chuckled as I handed Ophelia a glass of sparkling wine,
which she clinked against my own.
"How did your father react to the 'real' present I got you?" Ophelia
asked.
"...How do you think?" I asked, making my friend's frown even deeper.
"He did not react, because he doesn't know about his daughter," Ophelia
correctly guessed.
"Can- can we just watch TV, please?" I asked. "It's about to turn
midnight..."
"The end of 2013," Ophelia said. "A year in which I changed more than I
ever thought I would."
"You said it," I laughed, clinking Ophelia's glass again as the chimes
of Big Ben rang in the New Year. "Wonder how much things will change in
2014..."
As it turned out, 2014 would be a year of more change than either of us
could possibly have predicted.