No Going Back free porn video

No Going Back My name was Richard Anthony Mason. When I was younger I found that liked to wear girls clothes. As I got older I found that I liked to wear girls clothes lot, a real lot. I liked girls clothes so much that I wished that I could wear girls clothes all the time. They say, careful what you wish for, let me say, they are right. When I was ten years old my brother Mike, who was nine at the time, caught me cross-dressing in my mom's clothes. I thought he was going to tell my parents but he didn't. All he said was "It's cool I guess. If that's what you wanna do. I wouldn't do it." I was so happy that he didn't say anything. I thought that if my parents found out my dad would flip out, my mom might like it a little but would side with my dad. Anyway, for the next two years after my brother caught me, I would dress up as much as I could. Mike would tease me once in a while or threaten me to tell our parents if I didn't do something for him, like take his turn to wash the dishes or something. One day in mid June, just after school was out for the summer, my dad came in the house and called everyone to come outside. We all came out and saw a black corvette in the driveway. He had gotten a bonus from work and with the money he saved he bought a corvette. We all knew that he wanted one fo a very long time and we were happy for him. "Wow dad!" Mike said. "That looks awesome!" "Looks can be deceiving," my dad said. "It needs a lot of work but it does run and the outside doesn't look bad." At the time I was a month away from being twelve and Mike was about a month from being eleven. We are almost exactly a year apart from each other. The next day my mom was shopping and my dad was at work. My friend Joe was over. He was moving away in two days so we were trying to have as much fun as we could. We were looking a my dads new corvette and Joe said, "Let's take it for a spin." I laughed and said, "Yeah right." "No really," he said. "You know I can drive, you saw me drive behind my house." "Yeah, but that was in a truck and it was in the mud," I said. "It's the same thing," he said. "Driving is driving. Come on, let's have some real fun before I move away." I don't know why, but I said, "Okay, let's do it." "Yeah!" Joe yelled. I went into the house and grabbed the keys. I went back out I gave them to Joe. When we got in the car I started having second thoughts. I said, "Hey, umm, Joe." "Yeah?" he said. "Never mind," I said. He started the car and put in gear. He backed out of the driveway and started down the road. We went around the block and came back to our house. We were slowing down and about to pull into the driveway when Joe said, "Hey let's stop by Karen Reagan's house." Karen was a girl from school. Joe had a huge crush on her. I wasn't really into girls, I wasn't really into guys either. But I knew Joe really liked her so I said, "Okay, but then we gotta go back." "Okay, we will. Don't worry," he said. Karen lived about a block and a half away. When we got to her house she was in her driveway talking to two other girls. We pulled into her driveway and parked. We got out and Joe said, "Hey Karen, what's up?" "Oh wow," she said. "Joe? Is that you?" "Hell yeah it's me," he said. "Like my new wheels?" "How are you driving?" she asked. "You're only twelve." "That's how cool I am," he said. "I do what I want." "Oh," she said, "that is cool I guess." "Hey I'm moving in a few days. But I was wondering if you wanna hang out tonight?" he said. "Oh, umm yeah I guess," she said. "That would be cool." "Okay then," he said, "how bout I'll come over about 7:00 tonight and we can walk over to the Rock." "Okay," she said, "the Rock is cool." The Rock is where everyone hung out. There were video games, TVs, pool tables, all sorts of stuff to do. There was food and drinks also. Or you could just hang out with your friends. It was a very cool place. We talked to the girls for a while and then we got in the car and backed out of her driveway. Joe stopped, rolled down the window and said, "See ya tonight." We drove back to my house. The whole time Joe was talking about how smooth he was and how he was going on a date with Karen Reagan. We got back to my house and pull into the driveway, parked and Joe turned off the car. I got out and looked at the car I said, "Wait, we need to put the car back exactly how it was. It was much closer to the garage." "Okay," Joe said and got back in the car. "Let me know when I'm close enough." I stood off to the side and watched. I heard the car start, I heard the linkage move as Joe put it into gear, and I heard the engine rev up loud. "Hey!" I yelled "What are you doing?" "I'm not doing it!" he yelled "It just started doing it! Something is wrong!" "Okay," I said, "just put it in park and shut it off. We'll push it." "Okay," he said. All of a sudden I heard a screech and saw the car shoot up the driveway and crash into the garage. Joe shut off the engine and I almost passed out. Joe got out and stood back to look. He said, "Rich, man I'm sorry. I don't know what happened." From behind I heard, "You....are....dead." I turned to see my brother standing there in his football gear. He had just gotten back from practice. He said, "Dad is gunna kill you." I couldn't talk. I just stood there. Joe said, "Sorry man, I...umm...I gotta go." He ran down the driveway and out of sight. That was the last time I ever saw him. I turned to walk into the house. As I walked passed Mike he said, "What are you gunna do?" "Don't know," I said. "How are you gunna get out of this?" he asked. "Don't know," I said. I walked up to my room and sat on my bed. I was numb. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. Mike came in my room and said, "Tell dad that Joe stole the keys." I looked at him and said, "You know that won't work. Dad won't fall for that." "That's true," he said. We stayed where we were for about 10 minutes and then Mike said, "I got it." "Got what?" I said. "I know how to get you outta this," he said. "How?" I asked. "I'll tell dad that I did it," he said. I looked at him and said, "Not funny." "I'm not trying to be funny," he said. "I mean it." "Okay?" I said wondering why he was going to take the blame for me. "I'll tell dad that I crashed his new car, I'll tell him something went wrong when I took it for a joy ride. I'll also tell him that I can fix it at the shop that I'm helping out at. Mr. Zee will let me do the work, he knows that I know my stuff." "Why would you do that for me?" I asked. "I feel bad for you. You didn't mean to crash dad's car," he said. "Wow," I said, "I owe you big time. Dad would kill me. Thank you Mike. Thank you very much." "No problem." he said and started to walk away. He stopped and said, "Oh, there is something you can do for me." "Yes, anything," I said. "Tell mom and dad that like wearing girls clothes," he said. "What?" I said. "Why would I tell them that?" "Because I'm taking the blame for you. I'm helping you out," he said. "I can't do that," I said. "Dad would go crazy." "Yep, I bet he would," he said. "But if I tell him that I crashed the car, I think he would be mad at that also. So I figure that if we both tell him something then he will go easier on us both." "I don't think so." I said, "I'm not sure that would work." "Okay," he said and he walked away. I figured I was back on my own and was thinking about what I was going say to my dad. Then Mike came back. "What now?" I said. He handed me a shoe box. "What's this?" I said. "Open it," he said. I did and I saw that it was filled with pictures. Pictures of me dressed in girls clothes. There were pictures of me in a bra and panties, dresses, skirts and even in swimsuits. I was looking at the camera in all of them. "How did you get these?" I said. "Hidden camera. I'm sure mom is gunna be mad when she sees you in her clothes," he said. "I'll just give these to dad when he gets home. It's your death wish." I heard a car door shut and I got very scared. I said, "Okay, I'll do it." "Do what?" Mike said. "I'll tell mom and dad that I like to wear girls clothes," I said. "Nope," he said. "You took too long, the deal has changed." "What?" I said. "How has it changed? You just came up with it 10 seconds ago." "No, I've been planning this for a long time," he said. "I've been waiting for the perfect time and this is it." "Okay," I said, "what's the deal now?" "You are gunna tell mom and dad that you want to be a girl," he said. "What? No, no way," I said, "I'm not doing that." "Okay," he said, "not my problem." I thought about it for a second. I figured that I could do what he wanted and then when things cooled down I'd say that it must have been a phase or something. "Okay!" I said. "I'll do it." "Really?" he said. "You can't back out." "I'll do it," I said. "I won't back out." "Okay, come in my room and I'll tell you how things will go." he said with a smile. "What?" I said. "Mom or dad is home now, I heard a car door close. We gotta figure it out quick." "That was a car next door. They won't be home for hours," he said. "Mom is shopping and dad is still at work.. You should have enough time to get all dressed up and pretty." "Okay," I said as I looked at the floor. He handed me a picture and said, "Go get the things you need to look like this." I went to my parents room and got all the clothes I needed to recreate the look in the picture. A light blue dress that went to just above my knee. A bra and panties. A pair of pantyhose. A pair of blue heels. And some hair ties and clips. My mom and I are nearly the same size. I went back to his room and he said, "Okay, now get changed. You can do your makeup when your are dressed." "Makeup?" I said. "You didn't say anything about makeup." "You need to be very convincing when you tell them," he said. "I don't want them to have any reason to think you are joking or messing with them." I started to get dressed. As I was getting ready he said, "Can you make yourself cry?" "I never tried," I said. "Okay," he said, "try now. Think about how much trouble you'll be in if you don't convince dad and mom that you wanna be a girl. Think about how pissed off he will be if you don't convince him and he finds out that you crashed his car." That worked, my eyes started welling up with tears. "Okay, okay," he said. "Enough, that will work. Don't worry if you can't convince him, you'll be really crying when he punishes you for the car." Mike left the room and I finished getting dressed. Then I started to fix my hair. My hair was almost to my shoulders. I liked to keep it long-ish because it looked cool and it was nice when I was dressing up. When I was done with that I looked in the mirror and did my makeup. My brother came back in the room and looked at me. "Wow," he said. "Why haven't you come out already?" "Come out?" I asked. "Yeah," he said, "you make a very convincing girl." "That's good right?" I said. "Yeah," he said, "I mean, it shouldn't be too hard to convince dad you wanna be a girl. He already thinks you're gay anyway." "What?" I said- "Why would he think that?" "I may have put that in his head." he laughed "Come on, you and Joe always hanging around. Never doing guy stuff like playing sports. Never talking about girls. You were always sleeping over at each others house." "I'm not gay," I said. "Okay, fine," he said. "Get your heels on and practice walking." I didn't need practice, I've been walking in heels for years. "Okay, mom and dad should be home soon," he said. "Go wait in the livingroom. You better figure out how to tell them how you've wanted to be a girl your whole life. How you can't hold it in anymore and want to show the world the real you. I'll be upstairs and I'll be listening, so you better be convincing." --- A little bit about my family. My dad doesn't pay much attention to me. He is a big guy, very strong. He has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He is 6'2" and very macho. Ex- highschool football player. We were never very close. He makes me feel like I'm younger than Mike most of the time, even though I'm a year older. Most people think I'm younger than Mike because I'm so much shorter and thinner than he is. I've always been much closer with my mom. She works part time at my school as a hall monitor. She is skinny, 5'4", with long brown hair and brown eyes. I'm a lot like my mom. I'm also skinny, also 5'4" and about 110 pounds, long brown hair. My hair is a little more than halfway down my back with bangs. I also have green eyes. My brother is just like my dad, he's 6'2" on the school football team. About as tall as my dad and almost as strong. He is almost exactly like my dad. I'm much closer with my mom. She is skinny, 5'0", with long brown hair and brown eyes. I'm a lot like my mom. I'm also skinny, I'm 5'4" and about 110 pounds, long brown hair. My hair is a little more than halfway down my back with bangs. I also have green eyes. Both my parents are both an only child and all of my grandparents have passed away. --- When my parents got home I was standing in the living room waiting. I heard the door open and I nearly passed out. My mom walked in and looked at me. She said, "What? Why? How come you are? Why are you dressed like that?" "Where is dad?" I asked. "Right here." he said as he walked to the room and saw me "Holy shit! What's going on? Rich, why do you have a dress on?" I just looked at them for a few seconds. My eyes were welling up with tears, I didn't have to try to cry. "Well?" my mom said- "Don't cry, just tell us why you are dressed how you are?" I went into a long story about how I wanted to be a girl. How I've been wearing her clothes for years. There were a lot of tears and a lot of begging for girls clothes and a lot of asking to live as a girl. When I was done my nose was running and my makeup was running down my face. My dad looked at my mom and said, "Find him a head doctor." He started to walk away, he stopped and said, "No, find 'her' a head doctor," and walked away. I heard the door slam as he went outside. "You want to be a girl?" she said. "Yes," I said as I was still sobbing. "All the time?" she asked. "Yes," I said again still sobbing. "Okay," she said. "I'll try to find a doctor tomorrow." We heard the door slam and my dad yelling for me and my brother. He walked back in the livingroom, looked at me yelled, "Both of you......umm, boys get in the livingroom now!" My mom asked, "Jim, what's wrong?" "Mike get your ass down here now!" he yelled. "Jim," my mom said, "just tell me why you are so mad." "My son wants to be a girl and now my corvette is wrecked," he said. "What? Wrecked?" she said. "How is that possible?" "Go look," he said. My mom went outside and came back. She said, "Oh Jim, I'm so sorry. How did that happen?" "I don't know but I'm going to find out," he said. "Mike! Get down here!" Mike slowly came down stairs. It looked like he had been crying. He took all the blame for my dad's car. Just like he said he would. My dad took him outside. I sat on the couch with my mom and she asked me all kinds of questions. Everything from how long have I felt like I wanted to be a girl to what kind of clothes did I like. By the time we were done talking, I had my mom completely convinced that I wanted to be a girl. "Okay honey," she said, "if this is what you want. I want you to know that I'm not going to raise a boy that wears girls clothes. I'm going to make sure you are as much like a real girl as possible. You are going to be a girlie girl." "Yes mom," I said. "That's what I want." Wearing girls clothes was something I liked to do anyway and acting like a girl might be fun. Besides, in a week or two I'd tell my parents that my wanting to be a girl was just a phase and I'd go back to being a boy. That was my plan anyway. I was just glad that I wasn't in as much trouble as Mike was. My dad and Mike were gone for a while, I figured my dad was really letting Mike have it. After about an hour, my dad walked into the livingroom with Mike. My dad said, "How are things in here?" "Well," my mom said, "I think we have a daughter. I'm going to take her shopping for new clothes after dinner tonight." Mike looked at me with a slight smile. I thought it was weird that he could smile at all with all the trouble he was in. My mom said to my dad, "How are things with you two?" "We are fine," my dad said. "Mike told me that he crashed my car. He was trying to save it and things just went wrong." "Things just went wrong?" she asked. "Yeah, the parking break must have failed," my dad said. "It started rolling down the driveway and Mike jumped in and stopped it. He tried to put it back where it was, the throttle stuck and he crashed." Mike looked at me with a huge smile. My jaw nearly hit the floor. That's it? He's not in trouble at all? I thought. "Oh, okay," my mom said. "Thank you for trying to save your father's car Mike. Are you hurt?" "Well, I tried mom and I'm fine," he said. "Me and dad are going to fix it together." My dad looked at my mom, pointed to me and said, "So is this the new girl?" Mike laughed a little. My dad looked at him and sort of laughed also. "Yeah, here she is our daughter," my mom said. My dad took out his wallet and gave my mom a credit card and said, "Got get him, her, whatever clothes is needed. She shouldn't be wearing yours, that's just gross." We ate dinner while Mike and my dad talked about the car. I didn't say a word. After dinner my mom looked at me and said, "Ok Rebecca, let's go shopping." "Who?" I said. My mom said, "Your name would have been Rebecca Ann if you were born a girl. So, since you are a girl, I think everyone should start calling you Rebecca." From then on no one ever called me Rich or Richard, only Rebecca or Becky. "Come on, go get dressed in your old boy clothes for now. You can't wear my clothes to the mall," my mom said. "We need to get you some cute clothes that are more your age." My mom brought me to the mall, she got me a few skirts, tops some new shoes, underwear and a few night shirts. The mall is huge and about twenty five or thirty miles away so I wasn't surprised that I didn't see anyone that I knew. I was surprised that the salespeople didn't look twice or say anything when a boy was going in the dressing room holding a few skirts with his mom. "Well get more things next week," she said as we left the mall. When we got home I found that my dad and brother had thrown away all my old clothes. --- So my new life began. --- Things went very fast after that. My mom gave me a crash course in being a girl, how to shave my legs and about clothes and makeup. She taught me how to curtsy and how to sit properly, I don't like to curtsy but I'm required to when I meet an adult for the first time. She also helped me to tell the world that I wanted to be a girl. The next day my mom found me a 'head doctor', as my dad put it. Two doctors to be exact, they were in the same office. They had just started their practice and were very happy to see me. They said they wanted me to be dressed as a normal twelve year old girl for all my visits. It was just before my 12th birthday, so for my birthday my mom took me clothes shopping again for more clothes. She bought me my first bra and panty set. She said that a girl my age should always wear a bra. While we were out I got my ears pierced two times in each ear. Since it was summer my mom bought me a one piece swimsuit and a two piece bikini to wear around our pool, I loved to swim. My brother loved seeing me in those. I showed up to the doctors office in a light pink tee shirt and a purple cotton mini skirt with a bra and panties underneath. I had pink sneakers and white ruffled ankle socks on also. My mom styled my hair with a few barrettes and a bow hair clip. I had two bracelets and a necklace on that matched my earrings. After both doctors talked to me for about two hours, they said that I was clearly much happier being a girl. I don't know how they figured that out since they never knew me as a boy. They said that the way I curtsied when I met them showed that I was very ladylike and that really cared about being as feminine as possible. It was the first time that someone other than my family called me Rebecca. In the meantime my boy's bedroom was transformed into a girl's bedroom. One of two the doctors that was seeing me said that I should goto each of my friends homes dressed as a girl and tell them that I was going to transition to a girl. So when I got home my mom went to my closet and picked out a short denim mini skirt, a purple button down blouse and wedge sandals for me to wear. My mom drove me to each of my friends houses. With my pink nails, makeup and hair done. I told all my friends, one at a time that I wanted to be a girl. I told them that my name is Rebecca, not my new name, my real name. The doctors said that things would be better if I thought of 'Rebecca' as my real name, I needed to think of it as the name I've always had. Most of my friends were freaked out. A lot never spoke to me again. Some were okay with it. For the first six months, I was to wear only short skirts or dresses, mid-thigh or shorter, because my parents wanted me to always remember to keep my legs closed and smooth my skirt when I sat. It wasn't so bad when it was warm out, but when it was cold and windy I really didn't like it. While my brother was able to just throw on a pair of jeans and go. I had to make sure that my legs were always clean shaven, my skirt looked nice and I walked like a girl. Not to mention I had to make sure my outfit matched, my makeup and nails were perfect. Over time I became a girlie girl like my mom said she want me to be. My brother would tease me all the time about being a girl. The doctor also said that all the pictures of Richard should be taken down and that all my male clothes should be thrown out or given away. There shouldn't be anything left to confuse me as I transition. My mom told him that all my old boys clothes were already gone and that I only wear clothes that are appropriate for my age and gender. My mom also went out and bought a new camera and started taking pictures of me all over the place. Around the house, at the park, everywhere. There were pictures of me in just about every outfit I owned. We had a new family picture taken and my dad put it over the fire place. Eventually there were pictures of me at Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas all the holidays, even the fourth of July. I had a new outfit for each one. As time went on there were pictures of me all over. My mom made sure that everything I did was ultra girlie. The whole time my life was changing my brother was loving it. If he saw me do something that wasn't like a girl or something that was against my parents or the doctors rules he would tell my parents. I found that the more girlie I acted, by saying 'like' and 'whatever' a lot and having a slightly limp wrist, even tipping my head to the side a little sometimes, in a cute way, not a bimbo way made people accept me more as a girl. Even people who knew me thought I was very natural as a girl. Most people might say that they couldn't get tricked or blackmailed into living as a girl. Even if they were they would call the cops, run away or something. Let me just say that I never thought things would go this far. I also thought that even if things did get out of hand I'd tell someone and get out of it. Things didn't exactly work out that way. When I finally did tell someone, my mom, a week or so before I started 7th grade, she wouldn't believe me. Why would she, I mean I begged her to let me be a girl. I told her what kinds of cloths I liked and that I wanted to dress like other girls. I was outside all summer in my bikini swimming in the pool, I even had the tan lines to prove it. The way she saw it, I was a happy girl. So when I told her that I really didn't want to be a girl and that Mike blackmailed me into telling her that wanted to be a girl. She said, "Oh honey, don't make up lies. It's ok to be scared, the doctors said this would be hard. It's too late to now, you have to be strong." When she said it was too late I thought she meant because of all the money it cost for my new clothes and having my bedroom redone. I'd find out the real reason later. One time when my mom came to pick me up at the doctor's office after one of my visits. The doctor told me go in the waiting room while he talked to my mom. When they came out of his office the doctor wrote something down on a pad of paper and gave it to my mom. When we got in the car I asked her what it was. She said it wasn't anything for me to worry about. Two years later when I was fourteen, I found out that what she told me were vitamins were really male hormone blockers. Until then I sort of wondered why my voice never changed or why I never had facial hair. I also wondered why certain body parts never really got bigger or did anything, if you know what I mean. I really loved being a girl in the beginning, it was fun getting new clothes, acting and being treated like a girl. My brother loved that I was girl he teased me almost non-stop. After a few weeks I didn't like being a girl so much. I started to hate the short skirts, the pantyhose, shaving my legs, bras, panties, everything girlie. Mike knew I hated it and he loved it even more. Things happened so fast that I didn't realize how far I got myself into this life. I guess I was kind of numb because things were going so fast. My parents had my name legally changed to Rebecca Ann Mason. They also made sure that I was enrolled in school as Rebecca Ann Mason. My dad being very good friends with the school superintendent and a few other people on the school board helped for sure. They didn't tell me, I found out one day when I got the mail, I saw letters from the school district one addressed to the Parent or Guardian of Michael Jay Mason and one addressed to the Parent or Guardian of Rebecca Ann Mason. My mom opened them and saw that they each had our home room numbers, our bus number and instructions on what room to goto in the school to get our yearly pictures taken for our I. D.s. Our school I. D.s had to be done before school started. My mom had me get dressed in a light blue short sleeved tee shirt and a short black skirt with knife pleats. I did my makeup as instructed by my mom. She put my hair in pigtails and tied them off with little pink bows, I put on my pink sandals and I grabbed my purse. My mom called my brother down from his room, we all got in the car and went to get our pictures taken. My brother looked at me with a slight smile on his face. He leaned over to me and whispered, "I never expected things to turn out like this Becky. I love it." When we got to the school and went to the room where the pictures were being taken I got lucky because only the photographer and his assistant were in the room. I was expecting a line of kids with their parents. My mom filled out some paperwork, I stood in front of the camera after my brother had his picture taken and a few seconds later we left with our new I.D. cards. It was quick and simple. On the way home I looked at my ID card with my picture on it. It said : -Name: Rebecca Ann Mason -Age:12 -Grade: 7 When I came down stairs for breakfast on my first day of 7th grade my mom said, "Oh there's my cute little school girl! Come here, let me fix your hair." I walked into the school on the first day holding a pink and purple backpack and wearing a short light pink skirt, girls sneakers, white socks, a cute gray top with a bra and panties underneath. With my hair in two pigtails. The local media heard of my story and soon I was all over the news. I remember watching the news after they interviewed me. "Our top story tonight," the anchorman said, "there is a new girl in town." It was a quick story with me saying that I've always felt like a girl and how I'm much happier that I am living as a girl. It was only about 90 seconds long but it felt like hours. I knew that there was no going back. There were a lot of firsts. Going to different stores to get me new clothes. Buying sleep wear. Getting ankle socks, cheer socks, knee socks, thigh high socks, pantyhose. Getting sneakers, sandals, boots, low heels, high heels. Buying a swimsuit. Buying bras and panties. Getting tons of makeup. Buying new sheets, pillow cases and blankets for my room. I had to do all kinds of things to make sure my life was a girls life. For my fourteenth birthday my mom got me C-cup silicone breast forms to put in my bra, so that I wouldn't feel bad since the other girls were developing and I wasn't. They looked and moved like real breasts. The way that it pushed my chest up gave me slight cleavage. That meant that I could wear lower cut tops and new bras. With school came other things. The first day, in home room everyone got all kinds of info. School calenders, schedules, school handbook, all kinds of papers for the parents to look at and/or fill out and return. When I got home I put backpack on the kitchen counter and went to my room. I just wanted to rest and be alone. After about a half hour my brother knocked on my door and said, "Becky, mom wants to see you." I got up and went to the kitchen where my mom and dad were sitting at the table. My dad was reading the news paper and my mom was looking at all the papers that my brother and I brought home. "You wanted to see me?" I said. My mom looked up at me with a smile and said, "Becky, did you look at any of the things you got from school?" "No," I said. "Not really." "Well, you might be interested in this," she said as she handed me a paper. My eyes nearly popped out of my head. "Girl Scouts?" I said. "Yes!" my mom said. "What do you think? Sounds like fun right?" "I don't know mom," I said. "I don't think I'd be really into it." "Oh," she said, "okay. That's fine, it's up to you." I hated seeing my mom so sad but I really didn't want to join the girl scouts. I turned to leave and saw my brother standing there. He said with a smile, "Hey dad, don't you think having Becky join Girl Scouts would be good for her? I mean she'd learn lots of girl stuff right?" Oh no. I thought. Please don't make me join. My dad looked up from his paper and said, " Yeah, I think it would be really good for her, I think she should join." "There ya go sis," Mike said with a slight laugh "Dad says you gotta join." I couldn't believe that my dad was going to make join the Girl Scouts. My dad said, "But she said she didn't want to," and went back to his paper. "It's Rebecca's choice," my mom said. Mike wasn't happy about the answer he got. He just turned and left the room. Not much happened for about a month. I got on the bus. I went to school. I went to my classes. I got on the bus. I went home. Bla, bla bla. No one really talked to me on the bus or in school. On the weekends I'd read some of the teen girl magazines that my mom bought me. I'd draw a little or I'd listen to music. Then something else happened....Halloween. My mom asked me what I wanted to be. I told her that wasn't dressing up this year but I'd hand out candy if she wanted me to. I figured that I'd meet her halfway. She said, "But you love Halloween." "No, sorry mom," I said. "Not this year." She took me by the hand and said, "Come on." "Where are we going?" I asked. "You'll see," she said. We got in the car and drove to the plaza where there was a Halloween store. She said, "You are going to wear a costume weather you go trick or treating or you're handing out candy." We walked into the store to look at the costumes. The place was packed. My mom picked out a Hello Kitty costume and said, "How bout this one? It's so cute." "No, not that one mom," I said. She picked one out after another. A witch, Alice in Wonderland, Batgirl, Supergirl, Wonderwoman, My little Pony. All kinds of things. I looked over and saw Krystal Stevens, a girl that sat next to me in 5 of my classes. She was very nice, she always said hi and smiled at me. She asked if I had a pencil once, that's about all she ever said to me. All the boys lost the ability to speak when she was around. I thought she was very pretty. As far as I was concerned she was just a girl in my class. She was also a girl that I didn't want seeing me buying a costume. It would just be embarrassing. My mom kept going on and on saying, "How bout this one? How bout that one?" Without looking I said, "Yeah, sure that one." "Are you sure?" she asked. "This one?" "Yeah," I said still not looking at my mom, "that's the one I want." "Okay," she said. "Let's go pay for it." I followed my mom to the counter, still looking to see if Krystal was watching me. When we got home my mom handed me the bag and told me to go try it on to see if it fits okay. I went to my room and took the costume out of the store bag and saw the picture. Minnie Mouse. My mom got me a Minnie Mouse costume, I couldn't believe it. "How does it fit honey?" she yelled from down stairs. "Umm. Hang on," I said. I figured I may as well try it on. It was a short red dress with large white polka dots. The skirt had petticoats that made it flare out. It had puffy sleeves, a headband and a black belt. It even had a tail. I came down stairs, my mom was waiting for me. She smiled when she saw me and said, "Oh, how cute! I love it! Don't you just love it Becky?" "Yeah mom." I said- "It's nice." My brother walked over, saw me and smiled. My mom said, "What do you think about Rebecca's Halloween costume?" "Nice," he said with a smile. "We just need to get you some black high heels and you'll be all set." she said. "Yep Becky," Mike said with a laugh "you'll be all set." My mom told Mike that I wasn't going trick or treating this year. I was only going to hand out candy. Mike said, "What? That's no fun." "Well, that's what she wants," my mom said. "No," he said as he smiled. "She can come with me and my friends." The last thing I wanted to do was to go trick or treating with my brother and his friends. I thought real quick and decided to play the girly girl card. I said, "Eww, gross! I don't wanna hang out with a bunch of boys." My brother laughed. My mom said, "Okay, you can hand out candy then." The next day in school I saw Krystal in math class. She smiled and said hi, then sat down. I figured that she didn't see me last night. Later, the bell rang and everyone walked out into the hall. As I walked to my locker I heard someone yell, "Rebecca! Hey, Rebecca!" I turned around and saw Krystal waving. "Wait up," she said. I waited and she said, "I wanted to ask you, what costume did you get?" "Oh, I umm," I said. She laughed and said, "Did you forget?" "Oh, no," I said, "I got a Minnie Mouse costume." "How cute!" she said. "Do you trick or treat around your neighborhood or go somewhere else?" "I'm just going to hand out candy this year," I said. "And let that cute costume goto waist?" she said, "Why don't you come over to my house and go with me? I take my little sister every year, she's seven,so it would be nice to have someone my age to come along." Without thinking I said, "Okay." "Okay," she said as she wrote something down and gave it to me. "Here's my number and address." "Okay," I said. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Oh, nothing I guess," I told her. "It's just that this is the first real conversation I've had since school started." "Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I've been wanting to talk to you, I just didn't know what to say." "That's okay," I said. "I understand." "Okay," she said, "I guess I'll see you..." "In about 30 seconds." I said, "In English." "Oh, yeah." she said. We both laughed. I did goto her house on Halloween. I actually had fun, the first fun I had since I started living as a girl except for swimming. We became good friends after that. Later we became best friends. Mike was dating a girl named Kelly she was very nice. She was also the JV cheerleading captain when I was in 9th grade. Mike told her that I would love to be a cheerleader. So she pulled some strings because she was so in love with Mike and because she knew I would never be able to be a cheerleader on my own. Before I knew it I was asked to be on the team. My mom was so happy for me. I didn't want to let her down so I joined and stuck with it. It turns out that I'm pretty good at remembering and doing the cheers. Just another way my brother pushed me farther into the life I lead now. It turned out that Kelly and I became best friends. She smartened up after a while and dumped Mike. Kelly, Krystal and I are all on the cheerleading team. We are best friends, we even got our belly buttons pierced at the same time. One time after a game all the cheerleaders were at Kelly's house with a few other people. I saw this boy looking at me. I never saw him before, he was really cute. It was kinda weird because I never really thought anyone, boy or girl, was cute. It turns out that it was Kelly's cousin. His name was Jason. Well we started talking and of course he had heard of my situation. "So you aren't freaked out by me?" I asked. "No," he said, "I have no problem with you at all." We talked for a while and I found out that he went to a different school, a private school. That's why I never saw him before. He's a quarterback like my brother. He's actually bigger than my brother. He is 6"4'and about 210 lbs. He is very into staying in shape, his abs are ripped. We've been dating for almost a year and a half now. As I said before, my parents had me wear only short skirts and dresses when I first started to transition. Now most of my skirts and dresses are, about mid thigh. Some are a little shorter, some are longer. I wear a skirt or dress nearly everyday and my skirts are short because Jason likes them that way and they make me feel more girlie. If I could go back to living as a boy would I? I was never as close to my mom as I am now, I'd really miss that. But I'm sure we would still be close. I have my friends and I don't think that a bunch of girls would hang out with a boy like I was. In fact I know they wouldn't. I was a scrawny boy with no muscle mass. We, or they...okay we, like the strong boys, the ones with ripped abs. The football and basketball player types. So I'd miss my friends a lot also. I wouldn't want to stop dating Jason....ever. He treats me so good and makes me very happy. I don't know what I'd do if I lost him. He has told me that if I were a guy he wouldn't date me, he's not into guys. The crazy thing about dating Jason is that I never liked guys, not sexually anyway. I never liked girls sexually either. But I'm crazy about Jason. He is so sexy, I love running my hands over his six pack abs and his big biceps. So to answer the question, no, I wouldn't change things. I never wanted this life. I all but hate my brother for forcing me into it. But I have good friends and an amazing boyfriend. Besides, if I tried to change things now, after four years and said I don't really want to be a girl, everyone would think I'm a huge liar. My parents would be furious with me, they have spent thousands on me, on just clothes alone. Not to mention the doctors I've seen. The cheer team I'm on would make sure I'd never have any friends as long as I lived in our town. A cheer team that I never wanted to join but I'm happy I did. Cheerleading is the reason I asked my mom for a new bikini. We do a lot of charity car washes in the summer and we always wear blue and white bikinis with our cheer uniform skirt. I though my mom was going to die of excitement. She loved that I was a cheerleader and then her fourteen year old daughter asked her for a new bikini. Mike thinks I hate living my life as a girl. The truth is that I love my life. It's not how I wanted it to go and I really hated being a girl in the beginning. It was scary and humiliating. I have good friends, an amazing boyfriend and I'm in shape because of cheerleading. --- I'm sixteen now. --- I was sitting on the couch in the livingroom. I had just finished painting my nails when my younger brother walked in. "My god," he said, "that stuff really stinks." "Oh Mike, it's not that bad." I said as I twisted the cap onto the bottle. "Maybe not for a girl," he said. "For a guy like me it's really bad." "Yeah, for a guy like you," I said under my breath as I looked down at my blue and white nails, our school colors. "What?" he asked. "Nothing," I said. "I thought I heard you say something," he said. "It's...oh never mind," I said. "Come on," he said. "It's what?" "It's just that," I said, "well, it's been long enough. I mean everyone knows you're a guy and everyone knows I'm a girl. I don't need you to keep reminding me." "Nope," he said. "It hasn't been long enough, I'm not sure if it will ever be long enough." "Oh come on, it's been like four years," I said. "Aren't you ever going to grow up?" "Grow up?" he said. "Becky, I love reminding you that you are girl. If that's not being grown up, then I guess I never will." "Fine," I said, "whatever you say." "It's more like what you didn't say," he laughed. "You could have stopped all this, but you never stood up for yourself." "Mike, I'm happy this way," I said. "I don't mind how my life turned out." "I'm happy too little sis," he said. "Only I'm telling the truth. I know you aren't happy living as a girl. I love that you're a girl and a cheerleader and that you have a boyfriend and I love that I made it happen. Dad and mom may have spent the money and got you all the girlie stuff but if it wasn't for me none of it would have happened. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be sneaking around wearing mom's clothes. Look how free you are now." I hate it when he calls me little sis. He knows I hate it. I might look younger but I'm not. "Whatever Mike," I said as I stood up and started to walk out of the room. "I don't have time for you right now, I have a car wash to goto." "Oh yeah," he said, "maybe me and Brian will stop by to get his car washed. We love to see all you cheerleaders washing cars. Maybe I'll see Kelly there too. Oh and make sure you cheer real hard for me at the game tonight" "Like Kelly wants anything to do with you." I said, "She dumped you a year ago. The game is later and I don't cheer for you ever." Not only do we goto the same school, not only am I a cheerleader at our school but Mike is on our school's football team. He is the quarterback and his best friend, Brian, is left tackle. So when our team scores, has the ball, gets the ball, wins or anything in between we cheer. We are cheering for the team, but Mike seems to think we are cheering for him. The worst part is that we win most of the time, so his head keeps getting bigger and bigger. "I dumped her," he said. "And I know all you girls cheer for me." "Yeah, whatever," I said, "I have to go, the car wash is for charity, we are raising money for the old people home and I don't want to be late." "Yeah you better get going sis," he laughed. "Hey, I hope none of the old guys show up, they might die of a heat attack if the see you girls in your little cheerleader skirts and bikini tops. "Oh, you think we look hot in our outfits?" I said with a smile "Thank you Mike." "What?" he said. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean ..." "Gotta go Mike," I said as I cut him off, "bye." I went to my room, shut the door and started to get ready. My brother isn't super smart either, he still thinks I hate being a girl. I think he has gotten hit in the head too many times. If our team has a good season then the school has a big football game in the beginning of the summer with a big bon fire after. It's a long tradition, my dad told me that it started when my grandfather was in high school. I'm glad went to bed early last night and slept in until 10 this morning because I'm going to be all over the place today and at the bon fire late tonight. I was looking forward to the bon fire because I knew Jason would be there I also knew that my brother and Brian would be there. They don't bother me when Jason is around. Jason and my brother don't get along well at all. Brian is the same age as I am, he stayed back a year so he is in Mike's grade now. He has a car and drives Mike to school, that is a good thing, that means that he doesn't ride the bus with me. --- My name is Rebecca Ann Mason. My friends, my brother and sometimes my mom call me Becky. I'm sixteen and I'll be going into11th grade in the fall. I do well in school, not perfect but I'm a good student. I'll be a varsity a cheerleader in September. I like to shop and goto the mall and hang out with my friends and boyfriend. I'm very girlie, if you saw me right now you wouldn't think I was ever a boy. I'm a happy teenage girl. The End.