A Swapped Life, Chapters 10 - 12 free porn video

A SWAPPED LIFE, Chapters 10 - 12 A young male engineer goes to an engineering conference and gets swapped with a teen unwed mother who did not finish high school. Story discusses how the new woman makes new friends, and copes with motherhood, her new parents and sister, her former boyfriend, and eventually with love and marriage. Story also discusses the struggles of the new man, whose family and educational background did not give him the tools to fit into the world of men, and his eventual redemption. This is my first attempt to write fiction. I have found it much more challenging than I expected. I am grateful for constructive criticism. For any who have been waiting, I apologize for the delay getting this section out. Release was delayed by a computer failure and having to be out of town for several weeks. This is the fourth part of A SWAPPED LIFE and covers chapters 10 - 12. In the first part, in chapter 1 I introduced the original Brian and his family. Brian is a small and easy-going guy, but intelligent and strong willed. He is a civil engineer and works for a consulting company and is attending a conference in Eugene and giving a paper. In chapter 2, Brian encounters a very large man, Rex, abusing his girlfriend, Erin, and their daughter, Mary, in the halls of his hotel. Brian calls him on it, but no good deed goes unpunished and Rex beats Brian up and steals his wallet. Later that night, Brian wakes up as Erin being taunted by Rex . Rex throws Erin out of the room with their baby and she finds Erin who has been swapped into Brian's body. Chapter 3 discusses their early interactions. Erin finds she feels a magical connection with the baby Mary, and she becomes determined to give her a loving upbringing. And Erin gives the engineering paper that the old Brian had prepared. The two of them decide to return to Blakefield, the town where they both grew up. In the second part, in chapter 4, Erin and Brian return to Blakefield and the new Erin decides to go into detox and tries to get Brian's sister Clara to help him, but she won't believe the story of Brian and Erin swapping. In desperation, the new Erin begs the old Erin's parents to pay for detox, without telling them anything about the swap. In chapter 5, Erin's parents allow her to move home and she meets Fran, a Blakefield police officer, who hated the old Erin. Fran shows her antipathy in various ways. In chapter 6, Erin's parents send her to a detox program, which she finishes. While there, Erin makes friends with a girl named LaTesha In the third part, Erin returns home and slowly makes progress improving her relationships with her parents and with Fran. She also starts working on her GED so she can get a good job in order to support Mary. She finds along the way that the old Erin had made a lot of enemies. She makes another new friend at church, Debbie. Then Brian reenters the new Erin's life and causes more trouble. Nevertheless, Erin remains determined to get her high school GED so she can support Mary. In the fourth part, Erin discovers that the past fights of the former Erin with her sister-in-law have made her unwelcome at the family's Thanksgiving dinner. So she uses the time to study for the GED, but a last-minute decision by her sister-in-law allows her to meet her extended family. After Thanksgiving, Erin discovers she is pregnant. She has a quiet Christmas and New Year. She goes to a girl's night out with Clara and briefly sees her previous best friend Tony. After New Year, she takes the second GED Test and decides to keep the baby that is the result of her last encounter with Brian. Characters Brian-->Erin An accomplished young male engineer with some struggles and insecurities. He tries to help a woman being abused by a very large man and is then swapped with that woman. Erin --> Brian A troubled young woman who never finished high school and who is transgendered. In spite of gender issues, she wound up getting involved with a troubled young man and having his baby. She is swapped with Brian. Clara Sister of Brian. She is social worker and is a very accomplished young woman and was her brother's close friend. Jenny Mother of Brian. She is an administrator at a local hospital and was very close to Brian and Clara. Peter Father of Brian. He is a professor of mathematics and was also very close to Brian and Clara. Mary Baby Daughter of Erin. She turns out sweet tempered and loving despite being neglected by the original Erin Mom (Mary) Mother of Erin. She is an office manager for a construction firm. She has some flaws and had a rough relationship with the original Erin, but eventually turns out to play a positive role. Dad Loving father of Erin. He is a construction worker. Fran Sister of Erin. She is a police officer. She and the old Erin hated each other. She makes the new Erin's life miserable at first, but eventually they become friends. Latesha Friend Erin makes in a drug detox program. LaTesha was a very promising student in high school but was pulled into the world of drugs by her boyfriend and winds up spending about a year in youth detention. Debbie Friend Erin makes attending church. She is a high school student and an unwed mother. Her mother has rejected her for engaging in unmarried sex. Ginni Friend Erin makes doing a contracting job. She works for Erin's Mom and wants a career in finance. Jesse Close friend of the old Erin. She also becomes a friend of the new Erin, even though the two Erins are very different. Jesse was the original Erin's partner in many pranks and just barely graduates high school, but she is determined to succeed in life and is attending culinary school and also wants to also establish herself as a photographer. Tony Close friend of the old Brian and an excellent musician. After a failed marriage, he is raising his two sons by himself. He is asked to provide music at Clara's wedding. Index: CHAPTER 1. OCTOBER, BRIAN AND FAMILY CHAPTER 2. EUGENE, THE SWITCH CHAPTER 3. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE SWITCH. CHAPTER 4. BLAKEFIELD, AFTER THE SWITCH. CHAPTER 5. ERIN MOVES HOME, FRAN'S ANTIPATHY CHAPTER 6. DETOX, MEETING LATESHA CHAPTER 7. NOVEMBER, ERIN HOME AGAIN CHAPTER 8. MEETING DEBBIE, THE WATER LEAK, REINSTATEMENT AT THE COMMUNITY CENTER CHAPTER 9. THE RAPE, FIRST GED TEST CHAPTER 10. THANKSGIVING CHAPTER 11. DECEMBER, PREGNANCY TEST, CHRISTMAS, SEEING TONY CHAPTER 12. JANUARY, SECOND GED TEST, DECIDING TO KEEP THE BABY CHAPTER 10. THANKSGIVING Thursday was totally different than most weekdays. Erin's mom got up early to start baking pies, which were her contribution to Thanksgiving. After getting herself and Mary up, Erin went down and poured herself some coffee and asked her mom if she could help. Her mom gave her a few simple tasks, cutting apples, chopping pecans, finding the pumpkin puree, opening condensed milk, etc. Erin also kept watch over her mom and asked questions. She wanted to learn to cook, because she knew that there would come a day when she would be living on her own again. When the pies were in the oven, Erin put Mary down for her morning nap and chatted with Mom. Sometime in the process, Fran came down in her uniform and said she would be over to Dan's when her shift was done and then together they would go to Dan's. Then Fran kissed her Mom and her Sister goodbye. After that, Erin tried out a breast pump that her mother had gotten her for situations like this. She did it on one breast, and didn't get much milk, but enough to supplement the formula and make it more palatable to Mary, who did not particularly like to be fed with a bottle. Then she woke Mary, gave her a sponge bath, put on new diapers and a new onesie, and nursed her with the other breast. When Erin's parents were ready, and the pies were done, Erin helped them get everything out to the car for the drive to Dan's, turned Mary over to Mom, and then she was alone. She fought off being depressed about not going anywhere for Thanksgiving and cleaned the kitchen. Then she got out the GED study material and started going through it. She had learned in college that when she had to remember material, the way that worked for her was to outline the material as she read it. This forced her to think about the material and what it meant. Otherwise it was all too easy to just breeze along and think about something else and never actually get into it. After a couple of hours, Erin had gotten halfway through the study package. The doorbell rang. Erin looked through the peephole and saw a woman, about 30, who she didn't recognize. The woman was dressed nicely and was carrying a paper bag. Seemed safe enough. When Erin opened the door, she recognized the woman as her sister in law from pictures around the house. Erin smiled and said, "Hi Stacey." Stacey, "Hi Erin. I was feeling guilty and decided to bring you some dinner." Erin, "Thanks, I appreciate it. I'm really sorry for being such an ass the last time we were together." Then they went into the kitchen and put the dinner in the refrigerator. Stacey saw all the material on the dining room table and asked "Whatcha doing?" Erin, "I've decided to try to get a GED, so I'm going through some study material." Stacey looked at the material and Erin's notes and was impressed at how methodically Erin was approaching the task. This was definitely not the Erin she knew. She said, "Ever since your parents got to our house, it's been 'Erin this' and 'Erin that'. It was getting annoying. The only way I could think of to stop it was to come and ask if we could let bygones be bygones and if you could come over after all?" Erin teared up and said, "God, I'd really like that. Thank You?" Erin looked at Stacey's nice dress and said, "But I need a few minutes to get myself together." Stacey, "Sure, I'll wait here." Erin almost danced up the stairs she was so happy. She got on her best dress and nicest shoes and did what she could with her hair and put on a little makeup and was ready to go. Then Stacey dove into the Thanksgiving traffic and 45 minutes later they were at Dan's. Erin kept a stream of conversation going trying to get as much information as she could about the people who were there, people who she should know much more about than she actually did. Erin fully intended to keep a low profile and talk to a few people and hold Mary and have a quiet family evening. But when she and Stacey walked into the kitchen, Stacey announced in a loud voice, "Hey everybody, here's our long-lost girl." Erin decided to behave confidently, and said, "HI Everybody" and waved and gave her father a hug, "Hi Daddy", gave her mother a hug, "Hi Mommy," and took Mary from her mom and hugged her closely and held her up and kissed her and twirled around, and stood next to her parents smiling at everybody. Stacey wasn't going to let things go at that and said, "Erin, your mom has been telling everyone that you have turned your life around. Could you tell us what happened?" Erin had hoped not to be put on the spot, but said carefully, "Look, you all know that soon after I had Mary 3 months ago, I had a big fight with my parents and ran off with Rex, Mary's father. I was on the road with Rex for over a month. We were both using drugs and we were constantly hustling for money to keep the drugs coming. Mary got enough to eat but was not getting the love or care a child needs. I was not eating or living healthy. Rex abused me physically and emotionally. He didn't really care for me and he hated Mary. So, I was looking for a way out. I ran across a guy who was decent, not perfect but decent. He was on his way to Blakefield and said he would take me with and supply me with the drugs I was on, so I wouldn't go into withdrawal. And he wouldn't mind bringing Mary. I decided to take the chance. Once in Blakefield, I had to choose between staying with him and coming home, if my parents would let me. In order to do right by Mary and by myself, I needed to change, to get clean, to get my high school credentials so I could get a decent job, to rejoin my family and community, to otherwise get my life turned around. I called my parents and asked if they would help me. They said yes, God bless them. I thank them for that. I think I have been on a positive path since. And I am determined to stay on a positive path. I'm sorry I was such a negative bitch last year, but now I am trying to be better. I'd like to be part of this family again." Stacey looked at her and asked, "Erin, why didn't you just turn yourself into the local authorities for help?" Erin "Because I was terrified they would take Mary?" Stacey was about to ask something else, when a guy who had heard her comments started to clap and said, "Welcome back Erin," and almost everyone joined in. Whoever the guy was, Erin was thankful to him. Erin really didn't want to answer any more of Stacey's questions in front of everyone. Erin had found in talking to her that Stacey was wicked smart and she almost certainly understood the unsaid implications of Erin's story; that "hustling for money" implied some sort of low level criminal activity, perhaps dealing drugs, perhaps prostitution, perhaps theft, perhaps some sort of confidence game; that getting a ride with a stranger almost certainly involved an exchange for sex; and that the reason Erin was terrified of the authorities taking Mary was that by putting an infant into that environment Erin had in fact been an unfit mother and on paper at least it would have been proper for the county to take Mary and protect her by putting her in foster care. What Erin could not tell Stacey or anyone else was that she was not the woman who put Mary in danger, that there had been a mind switch and that the now Erin had been someone else back when the irresponsible decisions leading to Mary's endangerment were made. To say that would almost certainly gotten the now Erin put into psychiatric care. Erin's plan for being accepted back in the family was to brazen things out and hope that people would be so relieved to be dealing with a much nicer, more competent Erin that they would ignore the holes in her story. Time would tell. Erin sensed that Stacey was not done with questions and Erin would have to give her a better story or otherwise convince her to stop digging. The rest of the evening was much more comfortable. She kept Mary with her most of the evening and changed diapers twice and went off to a bedroom to breastfeed before dinner. She also made time to play with her a little. She kept quiet in conversations but listened carefully to learn names and anything else she ought to know. When she found herself having to talk about herself, she would try to turn it to an innocuous topic. Her favorite topic was Mary and how sweet she was. If someone asked too personal a question about her past, she would just say "I'm trying to forget about those things. I don't want to be that person anymore." Erin noticed that her brother Dan seemed to be avoiding her. At a moment when he was not talking to anyone, she walked beside him and quietly said, "Hello Dan". He looked at her and said, "So you really have changed Erin?" Erin, "I'm trying Dan." Dan, "I wish you the best Erin." And put his arm around her shoulders and she put her head on his shoulder. Erin sensed that there was a lot of hurt in the relationship and that was the best she could do this night. Erin best conversation was with Dan and Stacey's oldest son, 11-year- old Skyler. Skyler loved everything math and science and when he found that Erin actually listened and occasionally made an intelligent remark, he was nonstop talking. He reminded Erin of the boy Brian had once been. She forgot herself once and started explaining how limits worked, but Skyler was so into it that he didn't catch that she was talking about something that a high school dropout young mother should not know anything about. In some ways though the conversation made Erin realize she was losing touch with something that had been very important to her. She hoped she would be able to get it back some day. Stacey pulled her aside near the end of the evening and said "Erin, you really didn't answer the question of how and why you changed." Before she could start 100 questions, Erin said "Stacey, I don't understand myself. But I want to take care of my child, to be capable of earning a living, to be loved as a member of this family and my community, while apparently, I didn't want those things before. I probably never will understand exactly how my attitudes and desires changed the way they did, but I know they did. Can't you just accept that I am who I am, even though I wasn't that person before?" Stacey, "Well, Maybe. I'll think about it." CHAPTER 11. DECEMBER, PREGNANCY TEST, CHRISTMAS, SEEING TONY After Thanksgiving, Erin's life settled back into the routine established the previous month. Get up when Mary woke up, clean her up and put on a new diaper, breastfeed, go down and talk to Mom, bathe Mary, put her down for her morning nap, clean around the house, talk to Fran at lunch, get Mary up and clean her up, new diaper, breastfeed, more housework, play with Mary, put her down for an afternoon nap, try to do some studying for the GED, etc. After the afternoon nap, if Mary looked energetic, Erin would go to the community center and work on the web on GED material or exchange email with Clara. If Mary was not up to it, Erin would try to spend time with her playing or just give her extra cuddling and talking. It was a little boring, but Erin surprised herself by being happy. She loved watching Mary grow and develop. Erin's progress on preparing for the Social Science GEB Test was slow but study. She thought as time went along that the last week of December or the first week of January. Then she got a chance to check the schedule on the web for available test dates and discovered that there would be no testing on either week. So, she called and scheduled the social science GED test on the 2nd Tuesday of January. That would give her a date to aim for. In the 2nd week of December, Erin noticed she had not had a period. Well, according to the information Brian had sent her, her periods were not all that regular. Perhaps it had been delayed a week. But her period didn't come the next week either and Erin had a bad feeling. She asked her mother to get her a home pregnancy test. The result was positive. Damn. So, she told her mom she needed to see an OB/GYN and get a pregnancy test. They called the OB/GYN her mother used, who had cared for Erin during her first pregnancy. Erin got in the week after Christmas. Three days later the Doctor's Office called and congratulated her and told her she was pregnant. Damn, Damn, Damn. Now she had a decision to make. But she would get through Christmas and New Year's first. Erin had always loved Christmas. Brian had been different than most boys in that he loved shopping for gifts for his family. All year long he would write down whenever he noticed his family say they wanted something or seemed to wish they had something or he noticed that they were enthusiastic about something. By Christmas he would have candidate presents for everyone on his list and enjoyed looking for them all over town before. Since he worked hard and saved most of his money, cost was usually not the limiting factor. Then in early December he would make his final decisions, get the presents, wrap them, and sneak them into the house, but not put them out until the last minute. His sister, Clara, would often wangle to get exactly what she wanted and drop unsubtle hints a couple weeks before Christmas and he would thank her and say it's a good thing she said something because he didn't have a clue what to get her. Then he would tease her after that and say "Clara, what was it you wanted again? It slipped my mind." Sometimes he could do that to her two or three times before she got angry and he knew it was time to stop. But on Christmas Day she would get exactly what he knew she had been wanting, and she would forgive him, and they would laugh. He had a similar routine with his mom and dad. But as Erin, she couldn't do anything similar because she had no money. It's not that her money was limited. She had nothing. Out of habit, she had been keeping notes on what people might like. But there was absolutely nothing she could afford. She hated being so dependent and so incapable of taking care of herself. She did the best she could. She gave Each adult in the household a certificate for two car washes. She was going to add a wax and a tune up but realized she couldn't even pay for the supplies. She wrote the certificates in her best hand on some card stock Mom gave her. It looked good because she had learned to write elegantly as Brian in engineering drafting class. She wrapped the certificates in her mother's Christmas wrapping paper and tied the bows as nicely as she could. The family tradition was that outside the immediate household, adults would not buy gifts for each other, but would buy gifts for the children. Erin told her mother that she couldn't participate in that tradition this year. Her mother suggested that their family's cards be worded so the family's gift was from Erin too. Erin was grateful, but still hated that she couldn't do anything at all for Dan's children. And she couldn't even buy anything for her own daughter, for heaven's sake. She promised herself never again. Erin did go out shopping with her mother. She enjoyed the music and decorations, even though she was essentially a nonparticipant in gift buying. And she enjoyed taking Mary out. Erin took her through the Santa line and held her as she sat on Santa's lap for a picture. Mary was more and more expressive and reacted to the excitement in the air by laughing and bubbling. Erin was sure Santa didn't enjoy the weight of an 5' 11" overweight woman and baby on his lap. But when she saw the picture, she didn't look as bad as she thought. Her attempts at weight lose were paying off. And Mary was adorable. Erin loved going to the Toy stores with her mother and found some toys that Mary seemed to like and helped look for gifts for Dan's children. Erin suggested a couple of good science-oriented gifts for Skyler, that her mother was willing to buy after Erin told her about the long talk she and Skyler had at Thanksgiving. Erin's mom insisted on buying her a Christmas Dress. She said "Erin, all your clothes were bought almost two years ago, and are appropriate for a high school junior or senior. And you have lost weight and the clothes are too big for you. Plus, the ones you like are getting worn out. It's time for some new clothes. So, Erin wandered the aisles for young adult women at Macys looking for things she liked. She felt more than overwhelmed with choices that she couldn't name and couldn't predict how she would look in. Finally, Erin threw herself on the mercy of a busy sales clerk and asked her for a recommendation for a Christmas Dress. The lady looked Erin over and picked out a red polyester dress that would also serve for New Year's Eve Parties. Erin tried on two sizes, and one fit perfectly. That caused Erin to realize that she had to learn learn something about women's clothing so, she could she confidently pick out the things she needed. Something more to do, sigh. Erin remembered that her nursing bras and her panties were also worn and a little too big, and asked Mom if they could buy some replacements for those too. Mom got the same overworked sales girl and asked her what size and style she would recommend. The woman measured Erin to determine bra and panty size, and then had Erin try on the bras before she bought them. Erin picked ones that fit well and could be slid down easily to nurse. Finally, Erin's mom suggested new shoes, since all she had were sneakers. So, the same sales girl suggested some low heals that would look good on Erin and then suggested some socks to go with them. Finally, Erin said that's enough, they weren't here to shop for her. Her mother just smiled, and said "Erin, I've been trying to get you to wear something attractive for Christmas for years, and damn it you're finally willing, and I'm happy to buy you whatever you want." Erin smiled and said, "Thanks Mom". One other thing that happened in early December was that Erin's mom made an appointment with the pediatrician for Mary's 4-month checkup. This time Erin was able to be there. She was pleased to know that Mary was healthy and appropriately socialized. In fact, the pediatrician said she was an exceptionally happy and healthy 4-month old child. That was great news. Erin had been very concerned that her first two months of life with Rex and the old Erin could have led to some serious psychological problems and was still concerned that something could show up later. But she felt better given the Doctor's comments. The pediatrician told her that Mary was a big baby, in the 95th percentile for length. She would probably be a big girl. Erin was not surprised. She knew how big Rex had been and Erin was not exactly petite. Then her mom said that the pediatrician told her about the size at the first visit, but mom had forgotten to tell Erin. Erin was a little upset not to know earlier, but only a little. She was happy her daughter was doing so well. Christmas was much easier than Thanksgiving, because it only included immediate family and Dan's family and Fran's boyfriend and because she had broken the ice and established a relationship with Dan and Stacey and Skyler; all she needed to get to know were the older daughter Patty and the younger son Dempsey and Fran's boyfriend, Roger. The gift exchange was Christmas eve, preceded by a family dinner. Erin helped her mom prepare dinner, although she had to take several breaks to care for Mary. But Erin thought she had actually been of help to her mother, so she was pleased with herself. At Dinner, Erin sat at the end of the table near the kitchen, so she could be of help getting things. Stacey sat next to her and Skyler sat across from her. Dan still seemed to be avoiding her. Erin would have to make a point of talking to him later. She had Mary in the car carrier beside her. Mary was growing and getting much more active and was becoming a chore to hold for an extended period. Once dinner was served Skyler wanted to talk about science and math and he and Erin talked for about 5 minutes until Stacey said "Erin, where did you learn that stuff?" Erin, "I was just interested in it and picked it up here and there. I used to watch UITV when I was on the road with Rex." Stacey, "I've got to say, I'm a teacher and kids I know don't pick up science and math by casually watching educational TV." Erin was a little irritated, "Maybe, I'm an exception." Then Stacey asked, "How is the studying for the GED coming?" Erin, "A little slow. It's hard when you're caring for an infant. I'm sure you know that from experience. I have made an appointment for testing the second Thursday in January." Dan jumped in then and said, "Erin, you're really going to go after a GED. I'm impressed. It takes a lot of commitment to do that." Erin, "Thanks, Dan. I really want to get a good job and support my daughter on my own. I don't want to be a drag on Mom and Dad forever." Then Mom jumped in and said "Erin is working really hard on the GED. She already took the math section of the test and scored perfect," clearly proud of her daughter." Dan, "Wow, perfect. Erin, what's up? You were always miserable in math in school. Then he looked at Erin and laughed and said, "Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" Erin laughed too and looked at Stacey who was not laughing. This was becoming an uncomfortable conversation. So, Erin turned to Patty and asked what she had been doing this year. Quite a lot it seems. Patty was on a soccer team and in an honors English class and was competing in an Oratorical contest in January. Erin asked what position she played, "Midfielder" and what the subject of the oratorical contest was "Why we should be patriotic." Erin asked if Patty had written her speech yet and if so, could she give it. But Patty had not yet written it but asked if she could practice on Erin when she did. Erin said that sounded like fun. Then she asked Dempsey if he played soccer too. He said no, he played football. He was signed up for Pop Warner football and he loved it. He played with a lot of his friends and they had a great time. They won all their games so far this year. Dan was very proud of his younger son and told about his performance in several of the games. Then dinner was over, and the three kids went off to play while the adults cleared the table. Mary choose that time to fuss and Erin checked and found she needed a change. Fran made a humorous comment about teaching Mary to fuss whenever any work in the kitchen needed to be done. Erin just said, "I'll do the kitchen if you will do the diaper." Fran, "Naah, the kitchen's good." Erin took Mary upstairs, changed her and gave her an opportunity to nurse, which she did enthusiastically. After getting Mary and herself back together, she came back downstairs. The table was cleared, and the family was about to open presents when she got there. The gift giving was good. Everyone got nice things. Erin's family seemed to appreciate the certificates for Washing cars. She told them they could get also get a wax for the cost of the wax. Skyler absolutely flipped out over his science presents. He kept asking Grandma and Grandpa "How did you know??" Mary got all kinds of clothes and toys, even though she wasn't that interested in toys yet. But it was just a matter of time. And Erin got a baby buggy and child carrier, so she could take Mary with her more easily, along with more clothes from Mom and Dad, and then more clothes from Fran. Apparently, her mother had noted her sizes and passed it to Fran. For a girl who literally had nothing, it was a wonderful gift and Erin found herself crying and thanking everybody. What was that about? Brian never cried when he got gifts. The only bad thing that night was Stacey took her aside and asked some more questions about how she had changed. The she said, "You know, I'm not sure you're Erin. My memory from before is good and you just don't seem like the same person." Erin, "God, Stacey, why can't you just let it go? Don't you think my parents would know if I was someone else?" Stacey, "Maybe, Maybe not. You sure look like Erin, but your parents might be so thankful you have changed that they just convinced themselves that you are Erin." Erin, "And why would anybody impersonate Erin? Do you think the life of an unwed mother who never graduated from high school and has no job and had to go through detox to keep her daughter is so wonderful that someone would try to steal it? Come on." Stacey, "Maybe you are an international criminal looking for somewhere to hide. I don't know. But it's really hard to believe you are Erin." Erin, "I'm not the Erin you knew. That's the whole point of changing. But I am Erin. OK, what do you need from me to prove my identity. Fingerprints? I'm sure the police have my fingerprints on file from some trouble I got in in high school. I'll sign a release form, so you can get them for comparison. How about DNA for comparison with mom and dad's? I'll give you whatever you want." Stacey, "I don't know. Let me think about it." Now Erin knew why the former Erin and Stacey had such a problem. One was a psycho bitch and the other was ultra-anal. The day after Christmas, Clara called and, after comparing Christmas stories, asked if Erin wanted to get together. Her other three friends who were going to be bridesmaids were in town and they were going to have a girls' night out. Erin was a little hesitant. She had known all three girls as Brian but would have to pretend she didn't know them at all. She would have to establish new relationships based on a lie, which she hated. Additionally, Erin didn't know if she was enough of a girl for a 'Girls night out'. On the other hand, doing something different sounded nice. But she thought of another problem and said, "Clara, I really don't have enough money to go anywhere." Clara, "I know that, Erin. We're not going anyplace expensive. I've got you covered. Come on, it'll be fun. Just a bunch of girlfriends having dinner, yacking, maybe going out to listen to some music or go to a movie." Erin, "OK, it does sound like fun. When is it? I'll ask Mom if she can look after Mary?" So, on the Thursday between Christmas and New Year, Erin got herself as dressed up as she knew how. She wore the dress her mom had bought for Christmas. She had asked her mom to help with makeup, and Mom loaned Erin a necklace. Erin looked in the mirror and thought her hair looked wild and for once thought some earrings would look nice. She still thought of herself as a fat kid, but not as fat as a couple months before. Finally, she decided this was as good as it was going to get. She had breastfed Mary an hour ago and used the breast pump through the day to save milk for her mother to feed her. Erin played with her daughter in the living room while she waited for Clara. Clara knocked, and Erin put on her new coat, kissed her daughter and mother goodbye, and went out for her first girls' night out. They meet the other three girls at the Apple's Inn Restaurant. The three bridesmaids were all curious about this mysterious replacement for Brian in the wedding party. Clara told them that she met her while Clara was a senior in Eastside Prep High School and Erin was a freshman at Blakefield High School and somehow, they had just clicked. Erin had made some bad choices in high school and wound up getting pregnant, not graduating, and then running off with her boyfriend with the baby. That had lasted only a month and she had come home and was now trying to get things together. She had kicked a drug habit, started on a GED, and continued caring for her daughter. One of the girls had heard horror stories about Erin's behavior in high school from a younger sibling. (Erin was only 19, over 4 years younger than the bridesmaids.) On the other hand, Clara was very mature and self- composed, and nobody could believe that she would have a friend who was totally out in left field. And after all Erin was trying to make up for her failures. All in all, the three girls didn't know what to expect, some sort of wild child maybe. When they arrived, they saw a tall pretty blond girl who looked very friendly and elegant, except that she was a little heavy, her hair was a bit of a mess, and she had no earrings and no holes for earrings, and she had he ugliest tattoos on her arms. This did give her a bit of a wild look. Erin and the other three introduced themselves and Erin said "I understand you all were friends in high school. It's great that you are still close. What do you three do? They told her and one of them said, "I understand you have a baby, you look too young." Erin laughed and said "Unfortunately there's no minimum age for pregnancy. Yes, I have a daughter named Mary, and I hope you realize that now you have to look at pictures." And hauled about 6 printed pictures out of her purse and passed them around. "She is 4 months old and just starting to respond actively and sit up. I'm lucky, she's a really sweet, laid-back baby." One of the three asked, "How did you come to have a baby?" Erin laughed and said "I went through a period when I thought adults didn't know anything and I didn't have to listen to my parents. I got myself on drugs and started going with a guy who pretended to like me but was just using me, and I wasn't smart enough to realize it. I wound up pregnant. After the baby was born, I then got totally stupid and quit school and took off with this jerk. After a month, I found herself involved in crime and drugs, not taking care of my baby like I wanted, and realizing that the jerk only cared about himself. So, I called my parents and begged them for help, and God Bless Them they said yes. If they hadn't I would have wound up on the streets or in prison. Since coming home I have been trying to undo all that stupidity. But don't feel sorry for me, I am paying for my own bad decisions. But I will change things around. I am determined to be less stupid in the future." Then Erin smiled and said "I understand all of you have finished college. What did you all major in? Did you enjoy school? Are you able to find jobs in your fields?" One by one they told her about their schooling and their jobs. Erin gave reinforcement to each one and at the end said "That's great. I envy all of you. I hope to find a way to go to school someday and get a degree in some technical field. Maybe after my daughter is in school." Then dinner came, and they talked about other things while they ate. The others talked about family, mutual friends, and boyfriends. Another topic of conversation was what might have happened to Brian, Clara's brother. Little did they know that the answer was sitting right beside them. Sports and technology was not a topic of discussion. One of the bridesmaids asked Erin if she had a current boyfriend and she joked "No, my taste in boys has been so bad that whenever I start liking someone I assume he is a jerk and won't go out with him." Then they spent time talking about Clara's wedding. Clara said she would like them to help pick out the dresses for the bridesmaids, so everyone was happy with the choices. So, they made plans to shop together the next time all 5 were in town in April. Then Clara said an old friend of hers was in town and was playing at a bar down the street. She wanted to go hear him. So, they all got up and paid their bills (Clara paid for Erin.) and took off to the restaurant/bar where the new group was playing. They went in and Erin insisted she couldn't sit at the bar because she was underage. The others told her no one would ever notice as long she didn't order a drink, then they would have to check. But Erin said that legally the owner of the bar could lose his license if the police caught her, so she just wasn't comfortable being in the bar. She would listen from the restaurant section while the others could go into the bar. So, they all wound up in the restaurant section. You could order drinks in the restaurant section if you ordered food too. So, the others ordered some appetizers and some drinks, while Erin stuck with a diet coke. The music was very good. After a while, Erin looked through the door to the bar and saw that the lead singer was Brian's old friend Tony. "Oh God," Erin thought, and wished she could walk in and say hi and shake his hand and talk about old times and tell him his friend Brian was OK. She had to focus to avoid breaking up into tears. Then, Clara told everyone that this was the group that would play at the wedding, which was why she had wanted them to come here. Erin had a thought and asked if Tony had moved back home. All the other girls knew Tony and asked Erin how she knew him. Erin said she met him about the same time she met Clara and had kept up with him through Clara and liked his playing very much. One of them looked at Erin and said all the girls like Tony's playing. Erin turned bright red when she caught the meaning. The three bridesmaids noticed the blush and laughed at her, and said if Erin liked Tony, her taste in men couldn't be too bad. After a few more songs, they all got up and headed back to Apples restaurant, retrieved the cars, and went home. Fran asked if she could have a few of her police friends and their SO's over for New Year's Eve. So, Erin's family wound up having a very low-key party at their home. There were about 20 people, including Fran's boyfriend, Roger. There was beer but no hard liquor and only one guy seemed to get drunk, but Fran kept him in line. The police officers talked shop, and all knew Erin's story. It was a story they had heard and seen play out dozens if not hundreds of times. The appreciated what Fran and her parents had done for Erin, but seemed to regard Erin as just another street girl, one for whom things were working out. They were friendly but not terribly interested. That was all right with Erin, who was happy not to have to explain herself to anybody. She just took care of Mary and chatted with whoever asked her a question. At 12 they rang in the new year and broke up soon thereafter. As Erin lay down to sleep, she wondered what changes the new year would bring. Last year had brought some doozys. In 2017, Erin knew about a couple things she would face. First, she would continue to work on her GED. Tomorrow and the next week Erin would have to get as much study time as possible to preparing for the Social Sciences GED test. Second, Erin would have to decide how to handle her second pregnancy. She was not looking forward to that decision. CHAPTER 12. JANUARY, SECOND GED TEST, DECIDING TO KEEP THE BABY The first week of January, Erin was only able to study at the Community Center two days. She spent the first day taking the practice Social Sciences GED test. She did extremely well, 155 out of 170. There were another 30 points to be had by writing a civics essay. They gave some sample subjects they might chose for the essay, but she didn't have the opportunity to try writing an essay for practice and getting a grade. The next day on the internet, she just reviewed the Social Sciences study material. Most of the studying she did was on the material she had checked out of the library. She had finished outlining it and went over the outline numerous times. When the second Tuesday in January came, Erin made sure Mary was ready by putting her in heavy diapers and nursing her after dinner while her mom cleaned up. Then Erin's mom drove her and Mary to the college and held Mary while Erin went into the testing room. This time there were five people testing. The same proctor was there as last time and was aware of Erin and kept a sharp watch so if she got a good score there would be no doubt it was honest. Erin finished the multiple-choice portion of the test in 40 minutes and spent 15 minutes going over it. She started going over it again and made a change but realized she had already changed that answer in the first review. She didn't want to be changing changes, so she went on to the civics essay portion of the test. She looked at the subject the essay had to address and scoped out an approach. Then she took another 25 minutes writing the two- page essay, and reviewing it to make sure it was logical and readable. She was finished. She asked the proctor if she could wait outside with her mother and daughter. He said OK, and she went out to the waiting room. Her mother saw her and asked in alarm, "Erin, what's wrong? I didn't think the testing period ended until 9." Erin said "I finished. I decided to wait out here with you and Mary." Mom said, "If you have time, wouldn't it be good to go over the test and check things." Erin shrugged and said, "I did." Her mom still looked worried. Erin told her that she had done everything she could and now they would have to wait and see. At 9 the proctor came out and handed her a letter the said she had scored 150 out of the 170 points available on the multiple-choice portion of the test. They would grade the essay in the morning and post her total score on the web and send her a letter. Erin was slightly disappointed she didn't have a perfect score on the multiple-choice questions but was pleased that even if she got 0 points on the essay, she would pass this particular test. She was half way through what she needed to do for a GED, and was done with the test that she thought would be hardest. Now she only had the English and science GED tests left. But before she could tackle either, she needed to decide how to deal with her pregnancy. That night after they got home, and they gave her father and Fran the news and after Erin got Mary to sleep and after her parents got to sleep, Erin called Clara on the upstairs phone. Clara answered on the second ring. She sounded like she'd been asleep. Erin apologized but Clara said "It's OK. What's up." Erin, "Well, the good news is I know I did well on the social sciences GED test. I had 150 0f 170 points, before the essay is graded. The bad part is I missed my last period. So, I went to an OB/GYN. Clara, I'm pregnant." Clara was instantly awake. "Erin, Oh Honey. What are you going to do?" Erin, "I don't exactly know Clara. Is there a time we can talk? In person?" Clara reviewed her commitments. "Either tomorrow or Thursday night. I could come over." Erin, "How about tomorrow?" Clara, "See you then. God Erin, you sure know how to ruin a night's sleep." Erin, "Night Clara. Thanks." The next day it turned out that Mary slept long enough during her afternoon nap that Erin felt confident that they could get to the community center, get something accomplished on the web, and get home before Mary became too unhappy. Erin packed Mary and her tablet up and off they went. Erin started by reviewing email, of which there was little or nothing of value, except a confirmation from Clara that she was coming by. She returned Clara's email asking if she would also take her to the library tonight? Then she went onto the GED website and looked up the final score on her social sciences test. She had scored 28 of 30 points on her civics essay, so her total score was 178 of 200, not too bad. She decided to take the English test next. She looked at a list of the study materials and the test description. She noted that she could also get printed study material for the English portion of the GED test at the library, so if she and Clara went there tonight, she would pick up the study materials while she dropped off the study material for the Social Sciences portion of the test. Then Erin checked to see if Mary needed a new diaper. She was OK. So, Erin packed her and the tablet up and headed home. They got home about 5. Mary was hungry, and Erin let her nurse. Then she changed her diapers and spent some time playing a baby's version of peak a boo. Mary was getting older now and much more expressive and was almost shrieking in glee when Erin's mom came in. Somehow this put a smile on Mom's face and she came over and spent some time with Erin playing and Mary. Erin told her mom her total score on last night's GED test and that Clara was going to come by tonight and they might go out and have a coke together and talk about Erin being pregnant. Her mom said "Erin, you and Clara seem to be really good friends. Why didn't you ever bring her by while you were in high school?" Erin, "We just never spent that much time together until this year. I don't know why. But yeah, she's a really good friend. I don't know if I told you she is getting married in July and asked me to be maid of honor?" Mom seemed a little disappointed, "No you didn't tell me." Erin, "Oops, I'm really sorry mom. I didn't mean to be keeping secrets from you. I love you." Erin's mom was a little mollified, but still sensed there was more to the relationship than Erin was telling. Clara and Fran arrived at about the same time. Despite earlier tension between the two, they seemed to interact congenially. So, mom invited Clara to dinner when Erin's father came home. After dinner, Erin felt she had to invite her mom and Fran out with her and Clara. She was relieved when neither accepted. Erin got Mary ready, got the study materials she had checked out for the Social Sciences Test together, and they left for the library. After Erin turned in the old study material and checked out the English Test Study Material, they found a quiet corner where they could talk. Clara asked, "What are you thinking about the pregnancy?" Erin, "I've decided I won't have an abortion. I mean, I believe in choice. I don't think anyone should decide on abortion but the mother. Certainly not some crazy pastor who will never have to feel the pain or do the work being a mother involves. But for me, my decision is no abortion." Clara looked relieved. "I agree with you. But considering it was rape, I don't think anyone would blame you." Erin, "I would blame me. And there is another thing that has played in my mind. There is no way I could abort our parents' grandchild, or your niece or nephew." Clara cried and said "Thank You, Erin, Thank You! But that does not mean you have to raise the child. You could give him or her up for adoption." Erin, "I've thought of that. But the child didn't pick how he or she was conceived. And he or she is part of me too. I would rather not give the child up. I mean, I would do it if I thought it was the best thing for the child. But that's not what I want." Clara, "Erin, you are such a good mother I think if you could swing it, the best thing for the child would be to stay with you." Erin, "Thanks for that Clara. I've been worrying I was being selfish for wanting to keep the child." Clara, "No!" Erin, "But I need to talk to Erin's parents about this since it concerns them too. Do they want me around for the extra year it would take to have another child and take care of her until I can put her in day care? Maybe they want to get rid of me as soon as possible." Clara, "I don't sense that Erin. But I agree you have to talk to them." Erin was glad she had a chance to express her thoughts and get feedback. Now she was prepared to face Mom and Dad. Clara drove her home and dropped her and Mary off in the driveway and said, "See You Later." Erin went into the house but didn't feel up to talking about her pregnancy with her mother tonight, so she just stuck to casual topics. They talked about a lot of things, including Mom's work. Mom said they still hadn't found anyone to do those reports they were contractually obligated to do for the federal road project and for which they were receiving fines for nonperformance. On impulse, Erin said she'd be willing to try to assemble the reports and submit them. Her mother said, "Erin, what makes you think you can do them? We can't find professionals who can do them." Erin, "Mom, you can't find professionals because the professionals are busy, not because the reports are so hard. I know a bit about excel and a bit about construction, so given a little time I think I could figure it out, but I would take much less time than it would take for the professionals to get to it. Tell you what, you get me the formal name of the report, and I will look it up online and get some actual information, and if I still think I can do it, you give me a chance to convince your boss." Mom, "I don't know. I'll think about it." That sounded like "No" to Erin and she backed off and told mom about Clara's wedding. But Erin's mom was thinking about what Erin had said. She had been constantly amazed at the changes since Erin had come home. The old Erin had been surely, uncooperative, and openly contemptuous of her family and almost everything else. Mom knew she had acquired a drug habit, but the old Erin had insisted she wasn't addicted. After Erin had gotten pregnant by a man her parents disapproved of, it had taken a great deal of convincing to get her not to abort the child. Mary knew she had made a mistake in telling the doctor to record the child's name as "Mary", but Erin had been totally unwilling to even discuss a name and had said maybe she wouldn't name the child at all, just refer to her as "the mistake". When the child was born, Erin appeared to be indifferent to her, and Mom did most of the child care. But, when her parents' concerns provoked an argument, Erin had run off taking Mary, apparently willing to use her child as a pawn to spite her parents. Mary and Bart (Erin's father) had decided that under no circumstance would they let Erin live with them again. It was too hard on them and on Fran, their other daughter, who was so different from her younger sister. Then a little over a month later Erin had called and begged to come home. Everyone, especially Fran, was hesitant. But her husband had let his compassion rule. Bart had his faults, but he was basically a warm and loving person, which was why Mary loved him even though he tended to be distant and spend most of his leisure time at his club. The key that convinced him to take her back was that Erin insisted on entering a detox program. That was so different from her former attitude. Fran had argued for putting her in the less expensive detox center, as a test to see if she was going to follow through on her promises. If not, they had retained a lawyer to sue to be able to raise their grandchild. But to all their surprise, Erin succeeded in detoxing and in behaving herself at the detox center and even convinced her therapist that she was trying to change. When Erin came home, Mary expected the battles with her daughter to begin again. But instead, Erin had been a very attentive mother and had been invariably pleasant to be around. It took Mom a while to let her guard down, but as Erin continued to be a good mother and a loving daughter, Mom's love for her second daughter reaturned. But there was something else new about Erin, at least as surprising as her change in behavior toward her family. This Erin was capable. Previously, Erin always talked as though she was the smartest person in the world, able to do anything. But the reality was very different. Erin had flunked multiple classes in school, had never been able to hold a job, and had been kicked off any sports team she tried to join. Teachers had said it wasn't for lack of talent, it was just that she couldn't discipline herself to get along with teamates or apply consistent effort. After failing some classes her senior year of high school, Erin said she didn't think a degree was important and refused to go to class at all. So, she didn't graduate high school, which broke her mother's heart. But the new Erin came back and on her own looked into the GED program and started studying for the classes almost immediately. When Erin had asked her father if he would pay for the testing, he readily agreed, although he was sure it was just a temporary enthusiasm. Instead Erin had started out studying the math section of the GED and took the test a month after getting out of detox and passed it with a perfect score. Her mother almost fell off her chair when she heard. Erin had always been terrible at math. Erin had felt she needed to study more for her next test. She said it was because Social Science required more memorization. So, she studied for 1 ? months, during the holidays, and passed the test with an excellent score. Then when the water pipes in their house had sprung a leak and threatened to flood the house, Erin's ability (and willingness) to deal with the problem at their home had amazed her mother and her sister. She had apparently acquired skills and knowledge from acquaintances in high school that Mom had no idea about. So, when the new Erin told her mother that she thought she might be helpful in completing some reports her firm needed to have done, Mom was not inclined to automatically dismiss the idea, which she would have a few months ago. She decided to get any available information about the report she could and let Erin look into it more. The next day at work she made a copy of the contract with the city that specified the reporting that needed to be done and included the web site and other information. When her mother came home, Erin was nursing Mary, and just said "Hi Mom. We'll be done in a minute." Mom came in and sat with them while Mary finished and asked how their day had been. Erin said "Well, I was able to get to all the house cleaning on the list. Fran was home for lunch and we had a nice talk. Oh, I started studying for the English section of the GED." Then her mom said, "Erin, I made a copy of the contract we talked about last night and it has as much information as I could find about the report the firm is responsible for. I'll leave it in here on your nightstand." Erin, "OK, Thanks Mom." When Mary was done, Erin got up changed Mary's diapers, and cleaned herself up and came downstairs to help her mother with dinner. After dinner, Erin's dad went to the club and Fran went off to meet her boyfriend. Erin's mom volunteered to care for Mary if Erin wanted to look at the contract. After a brief read through of the contract, Erin asked "Mom, why didn't your firm insist on a clause specifying that they aren't responsible for delays in reporting if the city does not provide all the supporting information and documentation needed in the report. Then your firm would only be responsible for producing the construction information. The way it ls, you could be waiting on the city and still be paying fines. I mean you could sue the city and probably win, but that is not where you want to be." Erin didn't mention that such clauses were SOP in contracting with cities, but that commonly the city "forgot" to put in the clause and the firm had to remind them. Erin's mother just shrugged and said "I don't have contracting responsibility. I can't answer that question." Erin, "Tomorrow I will try to get to the community center and use the web to find what information I can and then talk to you about it tomorrow night." The next day, Erin was fortunate that Mary woke up from her afternoon nap a little early and appeared alert and happy and the weather was good, so Erin could get to the community center. Erin prepared Mary for the trip, and then put on her heavy coat, and put Mary in the carrier Erin's parents had given them for Christmas and walked the six blocks to the community center. She greeted the staff member at the reception desk cheerfully and said she would be there for about an hour, her usual routine. She sat at an available chair and took the tablet and copy of the contract and a note pad out of a plastic bag she'd used for transport and started looking up the report on the web and taking notes. Of course, one website led to another and soon Mary started to get restless and Erin had to leave. But Erin had made a start and had seen enough to know she could do the report. But she really needed to get access to the web where she could print information to figure out exactly how she would do it. Maybe the library. Then Erin packed up everything and everyone (Mary) and headed home and arrived just as her mother drove up. After dinner that evening, Erin told her mother what she had learned. There were 7 monthly reports that had to be done. She said she knew she could assemble all 7 reports in a couple of months, probably less. Then she asked her mom if there was any way they could use her work computer this weekend to put together a proposal. If not, the library would do. Erin's mom was a very loyal employee and really wanted the fines on the company to end and really wanted her firm to get the final payout on the project, so she took a risk and called her boss and told him that she had found someone who thought they could do the missing contract reports, but they needed more sophisticated internet access to verify and put together a proposal, and would it be all right to let them use her work computer this weekend if Mary monitored them at all times. Her boss was fairly casual about such things and the fact the Mary was a long-term valuable employee that he trusted completely made him say, "Sure, No Problem. There is a TV Security Monitor in there so make sure they stay in the monitored area at all times, except for the bathrooms of course. Would you want to present the proposal on Monday?" Erin nodded and whispered, 'right after lunch.' Her mother said "Yes, how about 1 PM." The next morning Erin did her usual early morning routine, but after that she made sure Mary had nighttime diapers and a warm outfit and 4 diaper changes and a change of clothes along with all the toys they had. Then she and Mary got into her mom's car, and they took off to town, stopping to get two 6" subways to eat for lunch and two large lattes to see them through the day. Finally, Mom drove them to her work and they brought Mary and all the supplies in. The found a comfortable chair to change Mary and play with her when needed. Next mom logged into her PC and went to sit with Mary. Erin googled the name of the report and downloaded and printed all the information about it she could find. The reports would go in as excel files. There appeared to be two challenges. First was getting the right information into the right worksheet in the file. Second was to structure the file itself so it could be read by the software at the national reports center. Erin's challenge this weekend was to outline a process for creating a file for each of 7 overdue reports and put that outline into a PowerPoint presentation that she could give to management on Monday. She had an idea in mind of what the presentation should look like. Her introductory slide in the presentation would portray the two challenges. Then she would define what information should go into each worksheet in the excel file and where she would get that information. She knew from experience that she would have to present enough detail to tell management what she needed to do and how much work it was going to take but not enough detail that they would get off into discussions that were secondary to the main task. She decided she would make 4 slides for this part of the presentation. The first two would define what information she needed for each worksheet in the file. The next slide would talk about the nature of the information and where she thought she could get it. The final slide would define potential problems she might encounter and give an estimate for time to gather the information, verify it, and insert it in the worksheets for each report. This slide would make clear what she needed in terms of access to data and to the engineers and construction managers who had managed the project. The next part of the presentation would cover how they had to structure the file. Presumably the file structure allowed the software at national to analyze and interpret the data and present it to management. Erin was not as confident about this part of the project. She had used excel and written excel macros before but did not consider herself an expert. So, she would have three slides, one showing the necessary file structure and data linkages. Another estimating how long it might take to set up the structure. A final slide would make it clear that there were major risks and uncertainties in this process and emphasizing the need to be able to access help at the national center and to have a complete set of excel references available. Then she would summarize the support she would need in the project and would give an estimate of the cost. The final part of the presentation would give a projected schedule and estimate of costs, which would include a statement of what she wanted to be paid and a justification. For the schedule, she would do her best estimate and add 50% to cover uncertainties. For pay, she would ask for slightly more than what she thought was current market rate for a project of this complexity. However, she would structure the pay, so it was contingent on successful completion of the reports. She would not be paid unless the first two were completed, with payment thereafter on a per report basis. Therefore, costs would consist of two types. The first would be fixed costs, i.e., overhead, (pro rata cost of a desk and computer in the office, cost of administrative support), cost of time for an engineer to help interpret field reports and materials costs, data gathering (office help to help gather data). The second would be her remuneration plus L&I. Given that management would see her as a totally inexperienced and uneducated girl, she fully expected to have to work for less pay than what she asked, but a high ask gave her room to negotiate. She went through and created the slides 1 by 1, front to back. Each slide she used the tools available in PowerPoint and some public sites with images and visual tools available for free to create the slide. Unlike some presenters, she used a significant amount of text since it carried more information than a cute image. But she was very judicious in the number of words she put on the slides. In parallel she worked on a detailed plan. This detailed meticulous paperwork was not her favorite part of technical work, but she knew it was essential to get to other interesting tasks. But now it appeared that the only thing she would be considered competent to do was the paperwork. She wondered if she would ever again be able to do the engineering design, data analysis, field work, and problem solving that she loved. Erin had to take a break to nurse once at about 10. Then at 1 she took a break for lunch and to chat with Mom and nurse Mary again and play with her. As Mary was getting bigger, she was wanting that interaction more and more. Her mom asked how she was doing, and Erin talked about the presentation she was trying to put together today. Her mom was surprised at how methodically Erin was approaching things and asked if she wasn't asking for too much money. Erin said, "Mom, your firm is being fined $2500/month for each overdue report. If I can get the reports in, your firm will save at least what I am asking and probably more each month. And I will be paid only if I succeed. So, it's low risk for your firm. Besides, you have the estimates from the firm that bid on this job but won't get to it until April. Are their charges less than mine? Her mother admitted they were much more. Erin, "In addition, that $2000/report I am asking will probably be reduced in negotiation. I'm smart enough to know your boss will be reluctant to pay a young inexperienced girl that much. But in negotiating, it is best to start with a high ask. After all, if I can do this, it is a major benefit to the firm and I don't want to be paid minimum wage." Then it was time to get back to work. Erin got hung up a little bit about how to she would approach structuring the files properly, but then came up with an idea and whizzed through that set of slides. She was working on the summary of effort slides when her mother told her it was 5:00, the time they had agreed to break. Erin said OK and finished entering a line and saved the PowerPoint and word document she was working on and then backed them up over the internet to her tablet and headed to the parking lot. Erin had to say that she really didn't miss this type of technical work. She told her mother that she was about ? through. Tomorrow she would finish the presentation and detailed written plan and type up a consultant contract. She estimated if they skipped church they could finish by early afternoon but if they went to church it would be 5 PM. She asked Mom who wanted to go to church even if it made them a little later." So, the next morning Erin and Mary went to church the next day with the family. She knew her mother loved having her go. Erin didn't know why but was willing to indulge her. As always, she took the opportunity to chat with Debbie before the service. Debbie wanted to get together, but Erin told her she couldn't today, but next week for sure. Debbie was getting close to due, and she said, "Erin, can I ask a favor." Erin said, "Sure." Debbie, "My mother and sister are refusing to be at the hospital with me at delivery time. My father is supportive and will be there, but would you be willing to come down too, so I have a girlfriend with me?" Erin, "My God. Sure Debbie. Keep me informed and I will be there. Have your father call and make arrangements. If he can't pick me up, I'll find a way to get down to the hospital." Debbie's request stunned her. How could her mother and sister turn their back on Debbie like that? It made her reflect what power religion held on people, and when the religion turned rigid and cruel and vindictive, how much harm it could do. It made her appreciate her own mother. Actually, it made her appreciate both her mothers. She was so lucky. During the sermon, when the pastor condemned sin and adultery and looked directly at Erin, she made a point of glaring right back. Damn him. But the incident reminded her that she had not yet talked with her mother about her pregnancy. She decided she would do so after tomorrow's presentation. After the sermon, Erin made a point of going to Debbie and giving her as big a hug as she dared and said she loved her. Her mother asked her what that was all about, and Erin told her about Debbie's request. Her mother was also shocked and said simply "That's way different than I believe." Erin thanked her mother for being so supportive and hugged her and they both teared up. Then her father was ready to go, and they headed home. They stopped for a brief lunch, but Erin and her mother told dad that they had more work to do at Mom's firm, so needed to get going. At home, Erin and her mom changed, Erin got Mary ready, retrieved the paper bag with the tablet and papers in it, and they headed to mom's work. The first part of the afternoon, Erin worked on the presentation. She was done by 3:30 PM. She planned to spend some time going over it on her tablet at home. Then she looked on a web site with sample consultant contracts for free, and downloaded one that she thought would form a good basis for a contract for her, and spent the rest of the afternoon filling in name, dates, payments, etc. She also included some conditions on when payments would be made and what constituted success. She saved the contract and backed it up to her tablet also. She would spend some time on it at home also. Then it was time to go. Erin knew her mom was eager to get out of there. As loyal an employee as she was, her mom loved her home and hated to spend off time at work. At home, Erin took care of Mary, nursing, bath, diaper, some play time. Then she helped her mom with dinner. After dinner, she told her sister about the presentation. Fran said, "Hey, if you can convince them to pay you $14,000 for a month's work, more power to you." It was nice to be able to talk to her sister and expect an assessment that was not unfriendly. She got Mary to bed and spent a few minutes lying with her and enjoying the closeness. After that she got up and spent a half hour doing a final review of the presentation. She changed a few words and removed one comment. Then she turned to the contract. She read it thoroughly and considered some "what-if's". She added a provision where after the third report was in, the firm could not terminate if reasonable progress was being made. Then she added another provision where the firm would pay her if a report could not be finished because the firm failed to provide information, and this provision would also kick in after the third successful report was generated. That's all she could think of. She went to bed but had a hard time falling to sleep. Erin woke up when Mary fussed and changed her diaper and nursed her and cleaned her up, and then she dressed herself and went down to breakfast in time to chat with Mom at breakfast. Mom had made an appointment at Blakefield Infant Care for the afternoon. She gave Erin a list of what she had to bring. Mom would be home to pick her up at 12, drop Mary off at Infant Care at 12:15 and get herself and Erin to work by 12:45, giving her just time to get settled. Erin reminded her mother to take the revised presentation and contract off her email and put it on the company server and make a copy of the contract. After the presentation they would have to leave by 3:15, pick up Mary at 3:30, and go to Erin's Drug Therapist's Office by 4. Busy afternoon. Erin tried to stick as much as possible to her usual routine in the morning, caring for Mary and doing housework, otherwise she would be a bundle of nerves. She did take some time putting together a list of Mary's schedule and preferences, and some time with the breast pump, but Erin didn't have the required amount of milk by 11:15, so she added some formula and hoped that the mix would be palatable to Mary. After that she put on her most professional looking outfit, a dress her mother had gotten for Christmas and her low heels and fixed her hair as well as she could and put on some light makeup. She needed to look as professional possible to give the right first impression. Then she got the tablet, put it with the papers and notes in the paper bag and set it by the door. Mary slept longer than usual, and Erin had to wake her at 11:45 and clean her up and put her in double diapers and a warm outfit. Then her mother came and they loaded up Mary, the bag with the list, Mary's extra diapers, formula mix, and change of clothes, and Erin's paper bag with her tablet and notes, and got in the car and were off. They dropped Mary and her stuff at Infant Care and headed to Mom's work. They got there at 12:30 and Erin hurriedly signed onto the WIFI and emailed the presentation and contract to Mr. Pederson. Then she scooted in to meet the people to whom she would be presenting. Mr. Pederson, the president and founder of Pederson Construction, was a mature, well respected former engineer and founder of the company. His company mainly did small projects of various types for cities and the county and special purpose districts, including small road projects. A year ago, he had bid on his first large road project that had federal funding, and although the project went well, he had found himself noncompliant with contract requirements in that his company had not submitted some sort of monthly progress reports required by that sort of project. His company was being fined $2500/month for the report for each of the 7 months since the project was ended. In asking around he found that this report was considered very difficult and that may have been why there were few bidders on the road project, i.e., why his company had gotten the project. So, he requested proposals from several local companies that seemed to have experience with this type of report and got only one bid and that bidder could not get to the report until April. That would put the overall project into the red. So, when his trusted Office manager, Mary McLoughlin, said she knew someone who said they could do the reports, he was willing to listen. He wasn't too impressed when he found out it was Mary's 19-year-old daughter, Erin, but was still willing to listen. He was even less impressed when he was told by another woman in the office that Erin was a high school dropout and unwed mother. But he figured he could still listen and if she seemed totally incompetent and delusional, which by this time he fully expected, he would cut the meeting short, thank her for her time, and get on with his afternoon. Out of curiosity, he viewed a few selected periods of the office security video stream from this weekend and found that as Mary had told him, the only people that had been in the office this weekend were Mary, a young woman who must be Erin, and an infant. The young woman appeared to be very productive and professional in her work habits. Well that was a good thing. Erin showed up a few minutes before the presentation was to begin and asked to get into the room and verify that she knew how to use the projection equipment and that it was working. Mr. Pederson heard and was impressed at the professionalism it showed. A few minutes later he went into the briefing room with his project engineer and Head Administrator. When they walked in, Erin came over and introduced herself, smiled, and shook hands gently as women do and asked how their day was going. They responded and returned the question, and she laughed and said "Busy, Very Busy, thanks for asking". Then it was 1 PM and Erin said, "I'm ready anytime you are." Mr. Pederson said, "Go ahead Ms. McLoughlin." Then Erin launched into the presentation. Mr. Pederson was surprised. The slides were professional quality. Erin started by explaining what the report consisted of and why it was a challenge to put together. She noted there were two challenges and talked about how she would address each, what she would need in the way of support, and estimated how long it would take. Mr. Pedersen noted that she seemed to be aware of construction and engineering procedures and programming in Excel, neither of which he would expect a 19-year-old to know anything about. She was very forthcoming about things that might cause problems but outlined what she would do if they occurred. At the end, she gave an overall time estimate and what she wanted in the way of compensation. All three men were surprised by the quality of the presentation, but were concerned by how much she was asking for the project. Mr. Pederson asked, "I would have expected a slide giving your qualifications." Erin, "Yes sir, but my qualifications are informal. I taught myself excel for a class, and I had an engineer for a boyfriend and learned a lot about construction procedures from him. (Technically, not lies.) I know you would like to see experience and formal training. But I cannot give you that. Instead I have made the pay contingent on performance. Basically, you only pay if I can successfully submit the reports. That way my lack of extensive experience and training does not represent a great risk." Mr. Pederson, "You identified two types of project costs, Fixed and Contingent. If I did this, the fixed costs would be paid regardless of delivering the reports." Erin, "Yes sir, however, there are two types of fixed costs. First is required to get me the data and information I need to do the project. If I fail and you must contract with someone else, this data and information would be necessary for them, so the cost of producing it would not be lost. Second is report review, which you would only have to pay if I have a draft report to review. If I get to that point, then success is very likely, so again the risk is small." Mr. Pederson, "The compensation seems to be excessive. I had thought that if we went ahead with the project, I would hire you as a temporary administrative assistant." Erin, "There are several reasons I am not willing to work that way sir. First, if these reports could have been done by a temporary administrative assistant, they would have been done a long time ago. They require special knowledge which should be compensated appropriately. Second, to get cooperation both within your firm and outside, I would need recognition that I am doing an important job for you. Can you imagine me calling the city asking for data we need for a critical report and telling them I am a temporary administrative assistant? A final issue is that I will have to pay $15/hour for care of my 5-month-old daughter. Infant care is much more expensive than care for an older child. An administrative assistant does not get paid $15/hour." Next his project engineer and chief administrator had some questions. Erin answered them all effectively. At the end, Mr. Pederson said I'm still uncomfortable that there could be some hidden costs given that you are so inexperienced. I think $2500 is too much. How about $500." Erin demurred and said there weren't going to be $2000 in hidden costs. They went back and forth and finally settled on $1200/satisfactory report. Mr. Pederson said he wanted as many reports to be done by the end of January as possible to avoid fines and get the final payout from the city as soon as possible, so he asked her to move up the schedule. She agreed to do what she could. Then Mr. Pederson said he would have his secretary type up a contract. At that point, Erin produced her draft contract, crossed out the compensation, $2500, and wrote in $1200 above and initialed it and handed it to Mr. Pederson. He looked surprised but read the contract and made a minor change in the schedule and gave it back to her and she initialed that change also. Then Mr. Pederson called up the lawyer they had on retainer and asked if he had time to come over and review the contract. He said he would be there in a half an hour. Mr. Pederson asked Erin if she wanted a cup of coffee while she was waiting, and she said, "Yes please." While they waited, he asked his IT specialist to come in and they talked about Excel structures a little. The IT expert was no specialist in Excel but had some suggestions on the file links. Then the lawyer came in and gave the contract a brief look and said it looked good and Mr. Pederson and Erin signed it and he asked his secretary to make a copy for Erin and then excused himself. Erin thought to herself that either the Lawyer was very good or very bad. She would have expected him to take at least a half hour with an unknown contract. On the other hand, she had taken a lot of time and was sure the contract was fair. When she got her contract copy, she went out to talk to her Mother. It was 3:15. Her mother looked at Erin quizzically, and Erin grinned and waved the contract in the air. She told her mother that she would start tomorrow if the Blakefield Infant Care Facility could take Erin. Then Erin sat down at an open desk in the office and drank her coffee while she waited for her mother to finish at 3:30. Mr. Pederson debriefed the meeting with the project engineer, chief administrator, and lawyer, and they decided they had gotten a good deal if Erin could deliver the reports. But Mr. Pederson had the distinct impression that Erin had expected to make the changes they made and that she had gotten exactly what she wanted. It had been an even negotiation, which he hadn't expected from a 19-year-old girl? At 3:30, Erin's mom could leave work and they walked to the parking lot, drove to Infant Care, and picked up Mary. During the drive, Erin's mom asked, "Well, Erin, did it go like you thought?" Erin, "Pretty much mommy. I think I had my act together and had to argue a little bit to be brought in as a contractor. I almost laughed at Mr. Pederson's expression when I got out the contract I had put together. He wanted to hire me as a temporary administrative assistant and have me do the project that way." Mom, "Erin, just so you know, Mr. Pederson is a good guy. Most employers wouldn't have given you the time of day." Erin, "I know, Mommy. I like him. But it was a funny expression. And I don't want to imply that there is anything wrong with being an administrative assistant. I's just that to get these reports out requires special expertise, and that just doesn't go with being an administrative assistant. In addition, to get the level of cooperation I need from city officials, national government officials, and even people within the company, it is far better to have some title that implies I am doing something important for the company, like 'contractor.'" They picked up Mary and drove over to her drug therapist's office and arrived almost on time, just two minutes late. They brought Mary in with them. Fortunately. Ed said "So here's the baby I've been hearing so much about. What a sweetie." And smiled and waved in an exaggerated gesture that would get a child's attention. If Erin hadn't already decided she liked him, that would have won her heart. Erin again asked if her mom could sit in and Ed agreed. Ed started as always by asking how her week had been. Erin responded, "Well, some bad, some good and some I don't know." Ed, "OK, tell me about the good." So, Erin told him about passing the Social Sciences GED Test with a good score and about putting together the proposal for work at Pederson Construction, and how she convinced them to give her a chance to earn a reasonable amount of money. Ed said, "Wow, that sounds great. Not every girl in your position would be able to do that." Then Ed turned to her mother, and asked "Aren't you proud of your daughter?" Mom, "Yes, I'm very proud. But I'm worried she has bitten off more than she can chew and will get discouraged." Ed, "Erin, are you worried about that?" Erin, "Sure, there is no guarantee I can do the project. But I feel pretty confident I can figure things out. And I structured things so the company won't get hurt if I fail. This company is where mom works so I don't want to reflect badly on her. And I want to be fair to the company. So, if I fail, I will know I've done as well as I can for everyone involved." Next Ed said, "OK, now tell me about the bad." Erin, "I have a friend, Debbie, at church who is within a month of having a baby. She is 17 and her parents are very devout. Apparently, her father can forgive her for getting pregnant out of wedlock, but her mother and sister have told her they won't be at her bedside during the delivery, because the baby was born of sin. So, Debbie asked if I would fill in, which I am more than happy to do. But it ticks me off that her mother and sister would abandon her like that. And I am worried that she will go home to people who are not supporting her. I know how important that support is in her situation. I know the pastor at our church is the instigator of this, and I am so furious at him it makes my blood boil. I wanted to scream and throw things at him Sunday in church. Whenever he talks about sin during his sermon he always looks directly at me or Debbie, like we're the only ones in the congregation who have ever done anything wrong. Chris, the boy who is the father of Debbie's child, is in the church, but pastor never glares at him. Chris is walking around like he doesn't have a care in the world. I'm so angry I want to stop going to that church, but then I would be abandoning Debbie too." Then Erin realized she was shouting, and said quietly "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout." Ed, "It's OK, Totally Understandable. It's worth getting angry about." Then he said, how about the "I don't know?" Erin said, "Remember I was raped before Thanksgiving. Well I found out I'm pregnant." Ed said quietly, "Erin, you have lots of options." Erin, "I won't have an abortion. I mean, I believe in choice. I don't think anyone should decide whether to have a baby or not but the mother. Certainly not some crazy pastor who will never have to feel the pain or do the work being a mother involves. But for me my choice is no abortion." Her mom looked relieved. Ed, "Considering it was rape, I don't think anyone would blame you." Erin, "I would blame me." Ed, "OK, but you don't have to raise the child. You could give the child up for adoption." Erin, "I've thought of that. But the child didn't pick how he or she was conceived. And the child is part of me. I would rather not give the child up. I mean, I would if I thought it was the best thing for everyone. But that's not what I want." 'God,' Erin thought, 'This conversation was almost a replay of her conversation with Clara.' Then she turned to her mom and said, "I'm sorry mom. I should have talked about this earlier. I'm so sorry. I know it would be hard for you and dad to put up with another child. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted me to leave. Don't feel compelled to let me stay. I'll find some way to support myself." Mom was crying now, "Oh Erin, I don't want you to leave. God, I want to help you with your baby. I love you and Mary so much, I'm sure I'd love another child. But we have to talk with Dad." And then they were both crying. The Ed went "Harrumph, Erin, you should investigate county welfare to help pay for things you need. I'm a little surprised you haven't mentioned it. You could be getting it now." Honestly, Erin had never thought of it. She would have to talk to mom and dad. She didn't like the idea of getting public assistance, but it would be unfair of her to refuse if it helped Mom and Dad. Ed never did no drug therapy that session, but helped daughter and mother work their way through their feelings on another child. On the other hand, letting them work though the idea of another child could prevent a drug relapse, so maybe this did count as drug counseling. Erin smiled as she left and told the other two that at least another out of wedlock pregnant woman would give the pastor something else to be mad about, so maybe he would leave Debbie alone. She noticed her mother didn't laugh. That night after Erin got home she had a long talk with her mother about how doing this project would work. She didn't have an appointment at Infant Care, so would have to call in the morning and see if they could take Mary. If not, she would have to find a way to work from home or after hours. Assuming Infant Care could take Mary, Erin and her mom would leave together, drop the child off, and go to work and do the reverse in the evening. Infant care was expensive, but there was really no choice. Erin felt she should make enough on the project to pay her mother back for it. But it was another reason for Erin to feel pressure to make progress, in addition to the knowledge that at the end of the month Pederson Construction was obligated to pay $2500 in fines for any report not done. After Erin got Mary to sleep, she called Debbie just to see how she was doing. Apparently, Debbie was not feeling well that day and Blakefield High School had sent her home. That put Debbie in the house all day with her mother and they had had a row, and Debbie was distraught. Erin was on the phone for over an hour comforting her and trying to get her spirits up. She had told Debbie earlier about the rape, and now she told Debbie she was pregnant again. Somehow shared misery lifted Debbie's spirits a little. Before saying goodbye, Erin told her that night or day, when Debbie's time came, Erin would be there. She wished she could do more. The last thing Erin did before going to sleep was use the breast pump and try to store some milk for the next day, so she could have it for Mary at Infant Care.