Final of We Are Made of Stardust Part 5
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On Thursday morning the school's lobby was more crowded and louder than
normal. It was the day before the prom and everyone wanted to tell
anyone else who would listen about their plans. The lobby was filled
with energy of the promise of tomorrow being the time of their lives.
None of Joy's classmates were hoping tomorrow night was good to be more
than expected; they all believed that they knew the prom would exceed
expectations. The prom was going to be magical, how could it not?
Tomorrow night was going to be filled with good times amongst close
friends to form memories which they felt would last a lifetime.
The only person who was immune to the effects of the upcoming night of
ecstasy was Joy. Joy arrived early to school, got a ride in from her
father, for the same reason the energy was filling the air, to talk
about the prom. Unlike the rest of the teenagers surrounding her, Joy
wanted a specific audience, Ziggy. She wanted to do the discussion
about the prom at school instead of the bus on the way there to give
herself time to come up with the right words.Instead of just wanting to
talk to anyone, Joy needing to talk with with a special someone put a
damper on her being able to be connected to the energy.
The reason Joyed needed to talk to Ziggy was Last night was the first
time her best friend did not return her call. Ziggy sending a text to
answer her question left her in a daze and only the light of hearing
her best friend's voice could lift it. Ziggy knew Joy inquiring about
if they were still on for breakfast on Saturday was just a pretense to
what the call was really about. That she wanted and needed to talk to
him. Joy needed to make things right between them and Ziggy was not
giving her the chance.
Then Joy felt that buzz which was in the air as her Zigs entered the
school. It was different than the little tingle she felt every time she
saw her best friend. She started to think about their breakfast on
Saturday. Thinking of how much enjoyment those two have over a shared
meal fixed the broken part of the conduit which connected them. All in
the lobby know knew they were going to have the fairytale night which
everyone deserves at the prom. The prom turning out better than a John
Hughes teenage flix was a guarantee.
Ziggy had a pep in his step, a smile on his face and waved as he past
by Joy. As quick as that conduit was fixed it became broken again. This
was not supposed to be. Ziggy and Joy always hung out before school.
This felt as wrong and uncomfortable to Joy as wearing a bra two cup
sizes too small.
Joy called out, "Hey there Zigs, why didn't you call me back
yesterday?"
Ziggy kept on walking as he said, "I was busy, so I just texted you the
answer."
The vague 'I was busy' was a bad sign to Joy. She knew that each of
them always made time for the others unless there was no way possible.
If that was true then the reason why would be shared. Not wanting her
time with Ziggy to end, Joy tried to stretch out the conversation by
asking him, "Where are you going?"
Ziggy then stopped and said, "I need to talk with Mr Foreman. I have a
chance to get the George Westinghouse Scholarship. Talk to you later."
Hearing those words made the lobby feel as crowded and loud as a NFL
Stadium on a Sunday in May to Joy. It harken her back to when she was
the new kid and having no idea what the future held. If Ziggy was
offered and accepted that exclusive scholarship that meant he had to
go to CMU instead of Villanova. Even with Villanova having a higher
rank school of business than any other school she was accepted to, Joy
did not like the prospects of going there solo.
Joy quickly thought about if it was too late to transfer schools to
join Ziggy. Those two both were accepted when they applied at CMU, but
made the joint decision to choose Villanova instead. CMU was also had a
highly ranked school of business so she would still get a great
education. It was cheaper than Villanova so her parents would like
that. Her mom would love that Joy would either commute to school or
live so close her daughter could come home anytime she wanted to. The
campus was next to Pitt so got rid of the hassle of having a long
distance relationship with Steff. The decision of transferring was as
simple as making a cup of tea.
***********
Jordan thought to himself, "They said I am a slut, then I will dress
like one." He wore his short bodycon black skirt with a black crop top
and 5" platform open toe heels. He had glitter on his chest, his top
showed off a magnetic belly ring and did his makeup as provocative as
he knew how. This choice of outfit would be passive-aggressive if
anyone else wore it. Jordan was doing so as part of his response to the
rumors.
Jordan wearing this provocative outfit was his way to protest what
people were saying about him. His plan was to directly confront the
people he knew was calling him a slut behind his back to have them
backup that assertion to his face. He was not being confrontational to
feel better about himself. The man who was made of stardust was doing
so to hold a magnifying glass up to those people who put him down and
believed the lie. He wanted his actions to make them think and see how
wrong they were in saying what was not true. Jordan hoped that the
intensity of light shined on those people's actions would ignite the
stardust inside of them.
Sam Pinsinski gave a look of surprise when he saw Jordan. He was one of
the people who Jordan overheard calling him a slut. The man who was
making a statement with how he was dress march right up to him and
said, "You should not be shocked, you said that I am a slut."
Sam did not like being directly confronted by the person he down talk
yesterday in a private conversation and acted surprised when he asked
what. Jordan was not going to let Sam off the hook and pushed the
subject when he, "Come on, I heard what you said to Heath Dorian. Don't
you remember, or do I have to repeat it to refresh your memory?"
Sam tried to defend his words. "I didn't really mean it. I was just
commenting on you having a date with Ziggy right after breaking up with
Dave."
"No, I don't. We are just two friends going to the prom together."
As sarcastic as the highschool student he was Sam said, "Yeah, right."
At that moment Jordan knew his words and actions were in vain. The kids
in his school were going to believe what makes a better story over the
truth. They were striving for enjoyment over being the best version of
who they were. The journey of fulfilling one's true potential meant
that people had to miss out on a cheap laugh to get contentment with
who they were.
Jordan was also feeling bad about himself. His actions, might of had
good intentions but now, he knew they hampered him in his journey to be
the best he could be. Jordan knew hampering another from shining was
also hampered oneself. Calling people out in such a dramatic way led to
embarrassment to those who did wrong and stopped them from shining.
People feeling embarrassed led to them being defensive. When people
close in rank to protect themselves it kept the stardust within them
from shining.
Jordan also felt like an object and he knew why. The boy was dressed to
draw attention to himself. Attention itself was not a bad thing, it was
when the attention was unwarranted which made it bad. Unwarranted
attention came from things which were superficial and corrupted any
social interactions. What was unimportant becoming too strong of a
focal point became a barrier to the stardust shining from anyone.
The man who was not letting his best side show did get help in being
able to move past his mistake. Ziggy treated him just like any other
day. Jordan's prom date looked past the skimpy outfit. Then Dave joked
no matter how hard Jordan tried it was too late for them to go the prom
together. The joke was not only to show Dave looked past the physical
with Jordan, but also he was fine with how the prom was going to work
out.
That humorous remark also reminded Jordan if someone was assured enough
in how they were it did not matter what they were wearing, the stardust
would shine bright. That the essential essence of the person was way
more powerful than anything superficial. Jordan quickly went from
feeling like he was dressed like a slut, to a man who was just wearing
what he wanted. By the end of the day the man, who was going to let his
light shine no matter what, found Sam and apologize to him. Sam did the
same because he knew he talked without thinking or knowing the entire
situation.
**********
Ian could never understand why people were interested in gossip.It was
of none of his concern what people did as long as it did not directly
affect him, so why was so many other people so intrigued by it?. He
felt it was none of his concerned who liked who or who was doing what.
If those people wanted him to know they would have told him.
Also, the rumors which gossip were based on were as reliable as a badly
upkept 20 year old car. This fact about gossip made Ian wonder why so
many people treated it like gospel. Instead of verifying it too many
people just went with repeating what they heard. This led to people
believing what was said because for it was said many times. He saw
believing something only because it was repeated many times as a form
of circular logic.
What irked him when he did pay a little bit of attention to the rumor
mill was the same people who believed it because it was said were the
same who got the most upset when something which was untrue was
circulated around the school about them. Those people were part of the
issue of why rumors were taken as being valid as the finding in a well
prepared peer reviewed research paper, yet they hated it when a
baseless unfounded rumor about them was accepted without others giving
a second thought.
Ian's normal reaction of apathy towards rumors was made him feel so odd
about his reaction to hearing about Ziggy and Jordan being a couple.
Ziggy being with Jordan just did not sound right to him. That should
have been all the time he gave to that rumor. Instead of not caring or
paying attention to the word in the halls, hearing those two were a
couple annoyed him.
Ian knew he needed to do something, anything to fight back at what was
being said about Jordan and Ziggy. At the same time of wanting the
truth to be known, Ian also knew he had to handle it the right way.
Saying something to a person who believed something without anything to
back the statement was useless to him. He knew that they were not using
logic to back up their belief in what they wanted to believe, so they
would not rethink it.
Then Ian saw his chance to do something as he bumped into Ross walking
down the hall. He was going to tell Ross he knew the rumor was not
true. Ian was socially adept enough to know saying that to both Jordan
and Ziggy would be tactless. There was nothing wrong with being gay and
that was how it would come off. Ross on the other hand Ian knew he was
not happy about how people were talking about his friend. Ian could
show his support and solidarity by talking with Jordan's best friend
about him knowing the truth about the rumor.
"Hey there Ross, I don't know why so many people think that Jordan and
Ziggy are a couple."
"Because people like Steff say it and people like you say nothing."
"Hey don't put this on me. I don't believe it. I don't say anything for
it is none of my concern. Plus if I say something it can come off as me
being homophobic."
"Then why bring it up to me if it's none of your concern?"
"'Cause it's wrong dude. That is why. I know how you, and Jordan don't
like it so I am just saying I know better. I am trying to show you some
support."
Words of support are little help. They do not do anything about the
issue at hand. To Ross Ian's words were just as good of an action as
the people who put the yellow ribbon support our troops bumper stickers
on the back of their cars and think that is enough to help. Instead
those people should be more proactive.
Not wanting to help Ian to get the false sense of him being part of the
solution Ross ended the conversation by reiterating that the boy, who
wanted a pat on his back, should say something when people said
something which was not true. Most of the time Ross's suggestion of
being proactive in being part of the solution got as much notice the
healthy choices on a fast food restaurant's; but this time was
different. It resonated with Ian like the ringing of a church bell. It
also had the same effect on him as a church bell to someone with true
faith and called him to go towards Ross's suggestion.
************
Joy came out of the lunchline looking around like she did not know the
layout of the cafeteria. In a way the room was a foreign landscape, she
had nowhere to sit. Going to sit at her normal table did not feel
right. Ziggy would be there. It was strange to Joy that even when she
was next to Ziggy she felt so far away to her best friend. Their
closeness was never about how close the proximity of their bodies were,
but connection of their souls. Now that connection was so strain if
Ziggy was right next to Joy she could not feel his presence.
Even with being Steff's main squeeze going to his table did not feel
right either to the lost girl. Most of the time when her boy was
around his friends, she felt like an outsider. Their connection in the
relationship depended on the situation. This was from Steff not letting
his social world mesh with his relationship.
Joy not wanting to feel anymore like a stranger in a strange land
picked to sit with Steff. Joining that table made more sense, at least
there it was normal for her to feel out of place. Joy needed to feel
like she belonged and a girl should always feel welcomed by her boy.
Plus, she had to tell her boy the good news about CMU.
It was tougher than a marine's love to their juvenile delinquent child
than for Steff to hold in his displeasure of Joy coming to his table,
but he did. She knew this was his time with his friends and Steff
needed it. Today started out great as he was going to talk with Mr
Forman about his chances of receiving the recently vacated George
Westinghouse Scholarship. Then the day turned to the worse when his
teacher and unofficial guidance counselor informed him that it would be
a long shot with Steff only being on the waiting list for CMU. The bad
news got worse when Steff found out that another hurdle for him to get
the scholarship was Ziggy was interested.
The boy who had nothing going his way cursed who was now quickly
becoming his nemesis, Ziggy. First his classmate had to finally semi-
come out as being gay right before the prom and now this. Steff had
nothing against homosexuals, but the friction Ziggy not admitting to
who he was to Joy was causing Steff to have to be there for his girl.
Steff could not figure out why Ziggy would not embrace who he really
was like the way he was going to embrace Jordan on the dance floor.
Steff was smart enough to know that none of how Ziggy was putting up
barriers to what he wanted was his friend's fault. That still did not
stop him from being annoyed at him. Intent only went so far, the
results was what really matters. Good intentions gave leeway to ill
feelings about bad results but almost never absolute absolution..
If Steff knew Ziggy would have finally submitted to his sexual desires
to be with a man, then he would have insisted Ziggy still took Joy to
the prom. He still would have gotten what he really wanted out of the
prom, a great night of sex. There would of been the added bonus of not
having to put in the groundwork beforehand. Ziggy would have gotten Joy
in the best mood possible and she would have shared that in the bedroom
with the boy who did nothing.
Joy sat down and Alan and Ian did not hide their cringes. Steff quickly
gave them a look of disapproval for them to stop. They liked Joy, but
she was not part of the group. When she was around, instead of all four
of them being together, it became Joy and Steff in their own little
group and Alan and Ian in another. Those two did try to connect with
her but Steff always put a stop to it.
"Hey there Alan and Ian, sorry about joining you for lunch but I have
some news to share with my boy."
They both understood, but Steff did not. He said, "Joy you know we
catch up on the walk out of lunch."
"It is big. I am not going to Villanova, but CMU instead. Our colleges
are going to be right next to each other. We do not have to worry about
the hassle of being in a long distance relationship."
"Don't change your plans to try to stay close with Ziggy. You two will
drift apart, he sees you as competition now."
"We will stay close and he will not see me as competition."
Projection is extremely common with people and most of the time they do
not even know they are doing it. In most cases people just assume that
everyone else has the same perspective on their surroundings as they
do. In this case, Steff projecting his feeling about Ziggy came from
the subconscious. Deep down Steff saw Ziggy as his competition to Joy.
The boy was always worried that one day Joy would break up with him to
be with her Zigs. This was the real reason Steff always treated Joy as
his fallback girl, deep down he knew he was her fallback boy.
Each time they broke up Steff's innermost hope was that Joy and Ziggy
would finally get together. Little did he know that if that ever did
happen, that would not only free him from regressing back into a doomed
relationship, but would let the stardust he was made out of to start to
shine.
"He does, he wants the same thing out of a relationship as you."
"I hope that you do also."
"Don't twist my words. I meant physically. He is a fag, he wants to be
with men."
"Use more respect when you talk about my Zigs."
When Steff said fag and Joy continued with the conversation like the
rumor was true Ian heard those church bells again. It called him to
action. , "Come on, you both know that Ziggy is not gay. Plus Jordan
would not be with anyone so soon after breaking up with Dave. Them
going to the prom is not a date."
Steff was truly remorseful and shocked. Steff did not like that he put
down someone by demeaning who there were. The boy who did not like how
he just acted was taken back by Ian adding his opinion into this
private conversation. This was between him and Joy, and Ian knew better
than to join in. Steff saw this as none of his friend's concern. , "Ian
stay out of this, you don't know what you are talking about and this
has nothing to do with you. What straight guy would go to the prom with
another man?
Sorry, I am just so pissed off. His personal drama is now coming into
our relationship; plus, it is making you make a bad decision. Villanova
is the best school for you. I only want what is the best for you."
Ian disagreed this had nothing to do with him. It irked him how people
were talking this rumor as true and needed to set it straight. Saying
what was on his mind also made him feel better. It might not change
anyone's mind, but he knew he had to try. Just in case his words acted
like a church bell to whoever he was talking to and called them to come
towards the truth. "This does because I am sick of hearing all these
rumors which are not true.
A straight guy who is just going to the prom to be around his friends
and do not care what other people think."
As Ian and Steff continued to bicker with each other Joy started to
think about what was best for her,.having her Zigs close to her. Right
then she saw him as her Zigs because the static which was breaking down
their connection was disbursed by her sticking up for him.
Disagreements, misunderstandings, arguments, and squabbles were always
overpowered by the strength of the close bond and the pact of true
friendship when one friend needs to be there for another.
Joy got up and went to the only place she knew she would feel like she
was at home, her normal lunch table. Alan started to pester Steff to go
after her. Steff knew better. They both needed time to cool down. Plus,
Ziggy, not him, was not the one who Joy went to when she was upset,
even when Steff was not the cause
Joy sat down and everything felt like it was back to normal. At that
moment Ziggy was more concerned about the down look on Joy face than
what she thought about his sexuality. His sweetest friend needed him
and that was more important than anything else.
"Zigs, with you having a chance of getting that scholarship, I am going
to look into going to CMU instead. So we keep with our plans of going
to school together."
"Joy, only do that if that is what you want. Until right now I thought
your heart was set on going to Nova, so don't change your school
because of me. Sooner or later we are going to not spend everyday
together."
Joy could not envision a future where she did not see her Zigs every
day. She thought that they would end up working at the same company,
him in R&D and her in production planning. They would have kids the
same age, going to the same school. That would mean so many music and
dance recital, games and other school function spent together. It would
be great to see Ziggy as a father, she knew he would be a great one and
hoped that her future husband would be half as good as Zigs.
"Oh Ziggy. It is not for you,.CMU is the best school for me. Steff
thought the same thing that was why I came over here. You having a
chance of getting that scholarship just made me rethink my decision.
CMU is the better all around choice. Going there will be a great
education, closer to home,at a school right next to the one my boy is
going to and also cost less money. You being there was just an added
bonus."
Ziggy agreed with Joy's reasoning about transferring school, knowing
she was doing what was best for herself. Ziggy then started to pay
attention to help smooth things between Joy and Steff., "Any money your
boy just did not word his concerns about you changing your school.
I am happy that my chance of going to CMU made you see what would be
best for you. I never want you to make a decision which puts me over
what is best for you."
Joy wish that Ziggy knew that him being close to her was what was best
for her. It was also what was best for him. They brought the best out
in each other. Right now was the perfect example. Even with them having
a strain on their friendship, it went back to normal. Instead of
letting the fallout they were experiencing get in the way, they were
there for the other when it was needed.
Thier relationship stayed in the past until the end of lunch. That was
when Jordan came over. While shopping on his phone the boy who wanted
to be girly the entire weekend found the perfect golf outfit which was
available for next day delivery. Before he ordered that adorable
pleated white with two blue stripes at the hem golf skirt for Saturday,
Jordan wanted to make sure that Ziggy would be comfortable being with a
boy in a skirt out in public. Being cute was important but not as
important as making sure Ziggy was able to enjoy being on the greens.
The time travel was ended by Ziggy commenting that he knew that Jordan
would look great in that skirt. Ziggy saw the look of disappointment on
Joy's face. Ziggy took it was from her being upset about him not
admitting that falsehood she believed. A small part of it was. Most of
Joy's disappointment was from she would much rather of heard Ziggy
saying those words to her instead of Jordan.
This moment was exactly why those two could not just act like they
never had that conversation yesterday. In a close friendship both
people had to be on the same page about who the other was. A
disagreement about something as fundamental as who someone really was
would always come to the foreground, The friction between the truth and
fiction would rub against their connection until their bond was broken.
The last couple of minutes of lunch were silent at their table. Joy
bolted as soon as the bell rang. She needed to get away from feeling
lonely when next to her best friend. It was wrong for a person to feel
awkward around someone who was so close to them. Ziggy was hurt that he
was glad to see Joy go away. He knew that feeling was a sign of their
friendship becoming strained.
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